Past Columns
Click on the titles to read!

New Superman Movie: No Thank You
by Craig Byrne - February 10, 2003

"Smallville Characters: The Key Word Is 'Potential'"
by SullivanLane - November 3, 2002

"What's In The Cards?"
by Hot Toddy - October 8, 2002

"Walking the (Plot)Line"
by Hot Toddy - October 1, 2002

"Vortex" Review (SPOILER Warning!)
by Christopher Valin - September 26, 2002

"Why Hot Johnny Loves Lana: A Rebuttal"
by John - September 25, 2002

"I Can't Believe Lana's Meteor Missed"
by Hot Toddy - September 24, 2002

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FLASHBACK!
Clark Kent Gets Married

Written by Craig Byrne - KryptonSite Webmaster

Seven years ago today, amidst much fanfare, on the February 11, 1996 episode of ABC's Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, Clark Kent and Lois Lane were finally going to tie the knot. And they did. Sort of.

Lois & Clark was the 1993-1997 TV series which featured the adventures of Clark Kent in Metropolis and especially his relationship with feisty Lois Lane. Dean Cain played Clark, and Teri Hatcher played Lois. The show was more about their courtship than it was about Superman action, which makes many Superman fans indifferent to the series. But, it was TV Superman, and without it, you might not even be reading this web page today.

Unfortunately in covering the Lois and Clark courtship they seemed to forget an important part of the relationship. "Married? Don't you two think you should try dating first?" was asked to them by their editor at the Daily Planet, Perry White. And he was right, but as soon as the L&C producers teased us by having Clark propose to Lois, they knew we'd want to see a wedding, and fast.

Too bad they forgot to ask ABC and DC Comics first.

The week Lois and Clark were to get married on TV, the couple broke their engagement off in Action Comics #720. And ABC wasn't ready to have the leads tie the knot -- they figured it would kill the show (and it eventually did, or so people claimed. Although really, it is my opinion that was not the case - but rather, the show just wasn't as clever as it was in the early days under Deborah Joy LeVine). Either way, the Lois & Clark wedding got some of the highest ratings the show ever had. Online "events" such as a photo gallery including the photo on this very page were happening, publicity was ever, ratings were great, and then boom --

-- Clark didn't marry Lois. Rather, he married a frog-eating clone.

Thus began a story arc that brought the beginning of the end for the show. Yes, frog eating clones are a stupid idea, but dragging a story along for a 5-episode arc of pain was even worse. The real Lois had amnesia, Lex Luthor was back, and somehow the Nanny's mother entered the picture. Very bad, very painful. The show never recovered.

Lois and Clark finally did get married for real in October 1996, but it was too little, too late. The wedding episode had painful camp in the form of Delta Burke, and the episode itself, cleverly titled "Swear To God This Time We're Not Kidding," was a confusing mess. Luckily, DC Comics' Superman: The Wedding Album was a much, much better product, even though it was severely rushed as the writers were still in the middle of their broken-off engagement storyline. L&C was cancelled later that same season.

What does this have to do with Smallville, you ask, beyond the Clark Kent connection? Maybe it should or could serve as a message to the writers. Don't tease us. Don't give us frog eating clones. Although, if you want to bump Lana on the head and give her amnesia so she thinks she's a lounge singer named Wanda Detroit, you're more than welcome to. But most important of all -- if you ever give us a long story arc, make it a fun story, not letdown after letdown.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch my tape of the Lois & Clark wedding episode, "I Now Pronounce You," and conveniently fast-forward through the frog-eating part and the last five minutes... and of course, I'll remember the fun and the anticipation that went on online anticipating the episode, before the letdown...

Before there was a KryptonSite, Craig co-created the Lois & Clark Krypton Club. Note: The views of Craig Byrne don't necessarily represent the thoughts and feelings of everyone at KryptonSite.