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Title: What I'm Here For
Author: Briee aka Kaeleigh
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own them, never have, never will. Now, don't you feel sorry for me?
Dedication: To Alison, who wrote the Lilies saga, which renewed my love of Breakfast at Tiffany's, captivated me with its slow romance, but most importantly, taught me that the same story is completely different when you see it through another character's eyes. So, thank you, for your wonderful stories and for what I learned from them.
Author's Notes: I believe that all stories should have forward motion. Something that drives the story onward, forces it to change for the good or the worse. That was actually one of the reasons that I started this series. At the time when I first thought of this idea, I felt that Smallville had become stymied and that development, for clois, and for Clark in particular, had ground to a halt. So that became my challenge: to give the illusion of progression where none existed. And, trust me, that has turned out to be quite a challenge. But, I hope it is one that I have risen to, and that this story will be what everyone wants it to be, because with this installment, the Protector Series is going to change. Now, I know that some people see the word change and freak out, especially when it comes to Smallville. But, trust me when I say, this development was planned the entire time. And that it was actually the very first part that I wrote. It is, to me, the linch pin of the entire series.
It's kind of like this quote that I love by Emil Ludwig,“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.”
And, no, before you get too excited, Clark and Lois aren't going to kiss in this story. I compare it to this quote because it's not the unconscious decisions that we make that really alter the direction of our lives. It's the ones that we know could change everything and knowing that, we still choose to do them anyway. So, that's what this story is, the first surrender.
LOL, and now, I think that I have been cryptic and confusing long enough. No more delays. Enjoy Clark's first part to the Protector Series and please show some love to Paloma, who every time I go knocking on her door, never turns me away, but creates these wonderful, beautiful posters. (Thank you.)
Summary: He was born Kryptonian, but his heart had always ached to be human, so sure that the umbrella of normalcy would fix everything in his life. But he's not normal. He has powers, he has a destiny, and he never knew that she was part of that destiny. Until now.
Clark drove the old pick-up down the dirt road that lead to his home, his hand tapping on the steering wheel in time with the music from the radio, and a smile on his face. Summer had come to Smallville and graced the Kansas plains with perfect weather: bright sunshine obscured with only the barest of clouds wisping through a clear blue sky. A cool breeze blew in from the open truck window, teasing his face and he inhaled deeply in contentment. These were the kind of days that he loved to be outside, because it was here that he felt the most normal.
And that was what he craved more than anything else in the world. It was such a simple thing to most people; the thing that some tried to shy away from, some feared being, and some did anything to prove that they weren't. But, to Clark, it had always been the one thing that was out of his reach. He knew from the outside looking in that there were few people who were more ordinary than Clark Kent, but he was living proof appearances were deceiving. He was anything but normal.
But for a few short months, he had been given the gift of being just like everyone else. He had relished in every muscle ache, every tiredness, every time that he had been able to walk by a piece of Kryptonite and not experience that white-hot pain inside. He had gotten everything that he had ever wanted. No more ringing from octagonal discs or disembodied voices in the Artic telling him of the plans they had for him. The worry of discovery had faded from his parents's eyes and he had finally been able to have a completely honest relationship with Lana. Life had been perfect.
But it had been ripped away as surely as the bullet that had ripped through his flesh and spilled the proof of his mortality on the ground, taking with it the simple life he had cherished and thrusting him back into a world filled with necessary secrets and shrouded destinies. His life had reverted to exactly what it had been before.
"Smallville, did you go deaf over the summer? If that guy hits a high note, the windshield is going to shatter."
He glared at the woman across the cab of the truck, the same woman who had played Whitesnake in his room loud enough that it had made the walls vibrate. She sat in the passenger seat, scowling and holding one hand to her head.
Yes, his life was exactly back to the way it had been before this summer, complete with Lois Lane. She had shown up unexpectedly today at Crater Lake, announcing within two minutes of her arrival that she was moving back to the farm. And back to causing trouble, he thought irritably, shifting as his t-shirt stuck to his wet back.
"Fine," he snapped and turned the radio off completely. He heard her pained sigh and looked over to see her rubbing her head gingerly. Realizing that she really was hurting and not just nettling him for her own amusement, guilt overtook the resentment that seemed to stay with him lately. It wasn't as if Lois had asked to hit her head and almost drown this morning. And she certainly hadn't asked him to jump in to save her. Contrite now, he asked softly, "Does the quiet help?"
She shot him a rueful smile. "Right now, anything over a whisper feels like an explosion going off inside my head."
"Maybe you should have stayed at the hospital," he said worriedly.
"Clark, I'm fine. All I need is get back to the farm and rest so that I'll be ready to go to work tomorrow."
He turned the wheel, steering the truck under the sign that read 'Kent Farm' as he questioned, "Work?"
"Yeah," when he stopped the truck she eased the door open, explaining, "I talked it over with your mom and I'm going back to work at the Talon tomorrow."
"Don't you think that the whole near-death experience this afternoon changes things?" He asked incredulously.
She turned, her hands going to her hips. "Don't be so dramatic, Smallville. It was just a little incident-"
"A little incident?" He repeated. "And that bump on your head, is that just a little concussion, too? Lois, I don't think you need to be working."
"And I've managed to take care of myself this long without your help. I know what I'm doing." He heard the angry warning in her voice telling him to leave it alone and she whirled away, retreating up the steps.
Furiously, he followed her, wondering if there was another person in this world as stubborn as Lois Lane. He tried once more to reason with her, "I just think that you need to take it easy."
"Clark, the doctor said that I'm fine, so I don't think you need to worry," she shot over her shoulder, her annoyed tone making him grit his teeth. She never listened to him. He didn't know why he tried, he thought as he stomped after her.
They were still arguing as they opened the kitchen door and found his mom standing there, her eyes taking in their wet and bedraggled appearance, her face inscrutable. Just as he was beginning to panic she laughed, shaking her head. "Well, at least you've both got clothes on this time. What happened?"
Lois grinned at him while she snuck a cookie off the pan cooling on the counter. He shook his head, injured or not, Lois still zeroed in on any chocolate in a ten-mile radius. "Like I said, Smallville, you've got a cool mom."
His mom gave her an indulgent and proud smile, but nevertheless shooed her away from the cooling cookies. "Now explain."
Lois began, nonchalantly, "There was a slight accident-"
"Lois almost drowned." He knew that if he let her tell it, she would gloss over everything until she made it sound like she'd just swallowed some water that went down the wrong pipe.
She elbowed him in the ribs on her way to the fridge, ignoring his glare. She poured herself a glass of lemonade as she reassured his mom, "I just bumped my head and swallowed a little water, that's all."
He knew it, he thought, shaking his head. He knew she was going to say that.
"You lost consciousness, and had to be revived with CPR," he corrected, frowning at her.
"You saved her?" He could hear the delighted pride in his mom's voice.
"No," Clark muttered, his mood only becoming worse as he remembered the arrogant smile Arthur Curry had given him through the murky darkness of Crater Lake. He grabbed a cookie of his own and took an angry bite, "some guy named Arthur Curry did."
He saw her eyebrows raise in surprise, and knew that she was wondering how anyone had been able to get to her before he could. Then she turned her attention back to Lois. "But you're okay now?"
"Yeah, Mrs. Kent, Chloe drove me to the emergency room, where a doctor said that I was fine-"
"Actually, the doctor said that you needed to take it easy for the next few days." He crossed his arms and glared down at her.
Lois rolled her eyes. "I don't think that working at a coffee house is going to qualify as strenuous."
"Fine." He threw his hands up in defeat and stomped upstairs, the last of his patience gone. He slammed the door to the bathroom shut, and peeled off his damp clothes. Wrenching on the knobs to the shower, he stepped under the steamy spray. He grabbed the shampoo, poured some out and began scrubbing his hair, his mind unwillingly going back to what had happened earlier at the lake.
"Are we talking Olympic gold metal fast or meteor freak fast?" Chloe asked.
He watched Lois walk unsteadily away, one hand still at her head and answered her cousin's question. "This is something else. He can swim faster than I can."
Lois stumbled in the sand, and the blond surfer wrapped his arms around her, bringing her close to him. Clark told himself that it was concern that rose inside him and compelled him to say, "I don't think that he needs to take her back to the farm."
His voice must have been a little more rough than he intended because Chloe looked up at him questioningly. He clarified with a gesture towards Lois, "She should go to the hospital. She could still have water in her lungs."
"Yeah, you're right," she agreed, nodding, "I'll take her right now."
"Okay, I'll drop Lana off at the Talon and then I'll meet you there. That way I can take Lois home afterward." He was oblivious to the puzzled stare Chloe was giving him as he set off after Lois.
Clark bowed his head under the water, his eyes clenched tight as he let it wash away the shampoo and soap. He hadn't meant to say home, the word had just slipped out, and he was unsure why, hours later, that it still bothered him. He sighed and turned off the water.
Downstairs he could hear the sound of her laughter and sighed once more.
Life was anything but normal.
****
Night had fallen hours earlier, and the darkness, now complete, had slipped across the old farmhouse, easing its creaks and sighs. It was cool and peaceful, the quiet of the night not even allowing the crickets outside to disturb it. So why couldn't he sleep, Clark wondered as he tossed and turned on the narrow couch.
It could have been the ominous threat Jor-El had given him, or the way he was now back to lying to Lana about everything. He shifted again; it could even have been sleeping on the couch, which felt like it had shrunk since last year. But he knew it wasn't any of those things. Frustrated, Clark threw back the blanket and stood up.
It was Lois. And the surfer with the arrogant smile. Arthur Curry. He gritted his teeth as the memory of him holding Lois close flashed in front of his eyes. Forcing his thoughts in another direction, he focused instead on how he might have gotten his ability, if he had been born that way, or if he was like Bart, the victim of an accident. Either way, Clark knew in his gut that he was trouble.
That vague irritation pushed at him once more and he stalked to the window, crossing his arms as he stared out at the farm. Ever since he could remember, on nights when he couldn't sleep he would go to his window and look at the landscape that stretched out until it met the starry sky. And though it had always soothed him before, tonight, it didn't.
He heard footsteps on the kitchen stairs, but didn't turn around. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now.
"Kal-El?"
Clark didn't know what surprised him most, his mom saying his Kryptonian name, or the hopefulness in her voice as she spoke. He jerked around. "Mom?"
He watched as she closed her eyes, dread on her face. "Mom, why did you call me that?"
She hesitated, casting him a regretful look and came into the living room, settling on the couch. He moved to sit on the coffee table in front of her. His heart hammered with an unknown dread, and he tried to think of any reason for her to use his Kryptonian name. "Were you dreaming? Or maybe sleepwalking?"
She chuckled sadly. "No, I wasn't sleepwalking."
"Then why would you call me," he broke off, confused. Grasping for another reason, he guessed, "Did you think that when my powers returned that I would become Kal-El again?"
"Oh, no, sweetheart," his mom hastened to assure him, placing a comforting hand on his face, "I know that you're still you. I had just hoped that-"
His brow furrowed. "Mom, why would you want me to be Kal-El? I don't understand."
His mom sighed and lifted her eyes to his. "Clark, there's-there's something that I need to tell you. Something I've needed to tell you for a long time, but I didn't know how."
"What?" He asked, the fear rising high in the back of his throat and he tried to swallow it down.
"I-I guess it all started because I couldn't sleep. For a while, even after you came back to us and your dad came out of the coma, there were nights when I would wake up, afraid that it had all been a dream." He gave her a soft, regretful smile, squeezing her hand to offer silent comfort for the pain he had caused and she returned the gesture, the look in her eyes assuring him as she had always done that she didn't blame him. "When that happened, I did what my mother always did, I went and made a cup of tea."
"One night, I was in the kitchen and you got off the couch and walked to the bottom of the stairs. There was something about the way you moved," she shook her head, a faraway look in her eyes, "so still, so determined. I said your name, and that's when you told me you were Kal-El."
Her eyes darted quickly to his and Clark knew that the shock was written clearly on his face, but he couldn't make himself ask one of the millions of questions that were buzzing in his head, he couldn't make himself move at all. The only other time he had been Kal-El he could remember what he had done, it was jumbled and fuzzy, but there. He didn't remember any of this and that scared him more than anything.
"I- I was so angry and afraid. I asked why Kal-El was here and you said that you were here-"
She faltered, and Clark had the strange feeling that if he didn't press her, she would just stop there. "I said what, Mom?"
She looked at him, as though judging the effect her words would have on him and then said softly, "You said you were here to protect your destiny."
Questions he didn't dare ask filled the silence and she answered them anyway.
"I didn't know if Jor-El was sending you on another mission or if he was calling you back to him and that you would leave us, forever this time." She took a steadying breath, saying, "But you didn't leave; you went upstairs to Lois's room."
"Lois?" He asked, incredulously. "What does Lois have to do with any-"
"She was the one you were protecting."
Anything else he might have asked died on his lips as he stared at her in shock.
Hurriedly, as though eager to have it all said, she continued, "She was having a nightmare and you bent down, comforting her in her sleep. And I saw something then, that I didn't know was possible-- my son shinning through the eyes of Jor-El's. Clark, you were showing compassion and emotions as Kal-El. You told me that there were different parts to destiny and that Lois had to be protected."
Clark stood abruptly and began pacing the length of the living room, his heart pounding inside him as he tried to process everything his mom had told him. It was crazy. It was ridiculous, to think that- that he would-
He shook his head. No. He refused to believe it.
"Sweetheart," his mom implored softly.
"How many times has it happened?" His voice was harsh in the quiet room as tried to convince himself that maybe it had only happened once. A one-time fluke that didn't mean anything, no matter what he had said as Kal-El.
"A few," she admitted.
Feeling like everything was spinning out of his control, he lashed out angrily, "So, you're telling me that I've been sleepwalking as Kal-El, going to Lois every time she has a bad dream?"
"Not every time," she replied nervously, and he realized then that she had never meant to tell him. Somehow she had not only accepted all of this, but trusted it. "Only the nights when she'd been in real danger or she was hurting, then you became Kal-El."
"Mom, why didn't you tell me about this?" He asked helplessly.
She looked up at him, her blue eyes clear with such strong emotions that his stomach trembled. "Clark, I don't know if you can understand how it feels to know that any moment, someone can come and take your child away from you, but your father and I do. That's why we always tried so hard to protect you and taught you to guard your secret so zealously." She sighed tiredly. "And with everything we've been through with Jor-El, the things he's done to you and the ways he's controlled you; it was comforting to think that even if everything that we have been so afraid of does happen, he won't have control of you completely. That there will be a part of you that will always do what is right. That you'll protect, not conquer."
He rested his hands on his hips and took an unsteady breath, wondering how something could comfort her that scared him so much.
"There is...something else," his mom said, and he looked at her, unable to fathom what else there could be.
"Lois knows."
His eyebrows arched. "Knows? Knows about Kal-El? Knows everything?"
"She woke up one night when you were standing over her," a small chuckle escaped her, breaking up the worry that tightened her face, "I thought she was going to shove you out the window. I had no idea what to say, and the only thing I could come up with is that you were sleepwalking."
"So, you're saying that Lois is okay with me standing over her like some sort of bodyguard?" The same woman who had brushed off his concern this afternoon with a glare as she told him that she could take care of herself had accepted him as a sleepwalking guardian. For a year Lois had known and hadn't said anything to him, hadn't treated him any different. She had still teased, still berated, and still acted like he was completely normal.
And how exactly did Lois having a nightmare cause his Kryptonian self to emerge, he wondered, running rough hands through his already tangled hair. She didn't know about Krypton. She didn't about Jor-El or any of it. Why would he be so sensitive to how she felt? If his mom had told him it was Lana he was protecting or even Chloe, it would have made more sense, but Lois? They weren't even that close. They had become reluctant friends, and he would admit that occasionally there were times that she let him inside the walls that she used to keep everyone else out, but those times were fleeting and then he was right back on the other side of the wall with everyone else in her life. He shook his head dismissively. Lois didn't need him, she never had, never would.
"Lois was a little...reluctant, at first, but when I explained that you were sleepwalking and telling you would only embarrass you, she didn't say anything. In time, she began to accept it. You helped her Clark. And the fact that you didn't remember anything gave her a comfort zone, a place where she could let herself be vulnerable. So, yes, Lois accepted you and has for over a year."
He didn't want to hear that, didn't want his heart tripping at his mom's words. Desperately, he asked, "What does she have to do with Jor-El?"
His mom watched him thoughtfully. "I don't know that she has anything to do with him, Clark. I think it's like what you said, there are different parts to destiny, and maybe there are parts of yours that don't involve Jor-El."
His emotions swirling inside him, he asked agitatedly, "So, what does this mean? Are you saying that Lois is my- that we are-" He sputtered, unable to even finish his thought.
"I'm saying that Lois is someone very special to you," she cut across gently, "but I think you knew that before this, didn't you?"
She smiled at him, that same understanding smile she had given him countless times through the years when he was facing a problem that he had to work out for himself. She stood and hugged him, going upstairs and leaving a very confused Clark alone with his thoughts.
****
LOL, has it been worth the wait?
Author: Briee aka Kaeleigh
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own them, never have, never will. Now, don't you feel sorry for me?
Dedication: To Alison, who wrote the Lilies saga, which renewed my love of Breakfast at Tiffany's, captivated me with its slow romance, but most importantly, taught me that the same story is completely different when you see it through another character's eyes. So, thank you, for your wonderful stories and for what I learned from them.
Author's Notes: I believe that all stories should have forward motion. Something that drives the story onward, forces it to change for the good or the worse. That was actually one of the reasons that I started this series. At the time when I first thought of this idea, I felt that Smallville had become stymied and that development, for clois, and for Clark in particular, had ground to a halt. So that became my challenge: to give the illusion of progression where none existed. And, trust me, that has turned out to be quite a challenge. But, I hope it is one that I have risen to, and that this story will be what everyone wants it to be, because with this installment, the Protector Series is going to change. Now, I know that some people see the word change and freak out, especially when it comes to Smallville. But, trust me when I say, this development was planned the entire time. And that it was actually the very first part that I wrote. It is, to me, the linch pin of the entire series.
It's kind of like this quote that I love by Emil Ludwig,“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.”
And, no, before you get too excited, Clark and Lois aren't going to kiss in this story. I compare it to this quote because it's not the unconscious decisions that we make that really alter the direction of our lives. It's the ones that we know could change everything and knowing that, we still choose to do them anyway. So, that's what this story is, the first surrender.
LOL, and now, I think that I have been cryptic and confusing long enough. No more delays. Enjoy Clark's first part to the Protector Series and please show some love to Paloma, who every time I go knocking on her door, never turns me away, but creates these wonderful, beautiful posters. (Thank you.)
Summary: He was born Kryptonian, but his heart had always ached to be human, so sure that the umbrella of normalcy would fix everything in his life. But he's not normal. He has powers, he has a destiny, and he never knew that she was part of that destiny. Until now.
Clark drove the old pick-up down the dirt road that lead to his home, his hand tapping on the steering wheel in time with the music from the radio, and a smile on his face. Summer had come to Smallville and graced the Kansas plains with perfect weather: bright sunshine obscured with only the barest of clouds wisping through a clear blue sky. A cool breeze blew in from the open truck window, teasing his face and he inhaled deeply in contentment. These were the kind of days that he loved to be outside, because it was here that he felt the most normal.
And that was what he craved more than anything else in the world. It was such a simple thing to most people; the thing that some tried to shy away from, some feared being, and some did anything to prove that they weren't. But, to Clark, it had always been the one thing that was out of his reach. He knew from the outside looking in that there were few people who were more ordinary than Clark Kent, but he was living proof appearances were deceiving. He was anything but normal.
But for a few short months, he had been given the gift of being just like everyone else. He had relished in every muscle ache, every tiredness, every time that he had been able to walk by a piece of Kryptonite and not experience that white-hot pain inside. He had gotten everything that he had ever wanted. No more ringing from octagonal discs or disembodied voices in the Artic telling him of the plans they had for him. The worry of discovery had faded from his parents's eyes and he had finally been able to have a completely honest relationship with Lana. Life had been perfect.
But it had been ripped away as surely as the bullet that had ripped through his flesh and spilled the proof of his mortality on the ground, taking with it the simple life he had cherished and thrusting him back into a world filled with necessary secrets and shrouded destinies. His life had reverted to exactly what it had been before.
"Smallville, did you go deaf over the summer? If that guy hits a high note, the windshield is going to shatter."
He glared at the woman across the cab of the truck, the same woman who had played Whitesnake in his room loud enough that it had made the walls vibrate. She sat in the passenger seat, scowling and holding one hand to her head.
Yes, his life was exactly back to the way it had been before this summer, complete with Lois Lane. She had shown up unexpectedly today at Crater Lake, announcing within two minutes of her arrival that she was moving back to the farm. And back to causing trouble, he thought irritably, shifting as his t-shirt stuck to his wet back.
"Fine," he snapped and turned the radio off completely. He heard her pained sigh and looked over to see her rubbing her head gingerly. Realizing that she really was hurting and not just nettling him for her own amusement, guilt overtook the resentment that seemed to stay with him lately. It wasn't as if Lois had asked to hit her head and almost drown this morning. And she certainly hadn't asked him to jump in to save her. Contrite now, he asked softly, "Does the quiet help?"
She shot him a rueful smile. "Right now, anything over a whisper feels like an explosion going off inside my head."
"Maybe you should have stayed at the hospital," he said worriedly.
"Clark, I'm fine. All I need is get back to the farm and rest so that I'll be ready to go to work tomorrow."
He turned the wheel, steering the truck under the sign that read 'Kent Farm' as he questioned, "Work?"
"Yeah," when he stopped the truck she eased the door open, explaining, "I talked it over with your mom and I'm going back to work at the Talon tomorrow."
"Don't you think that the whole near-death experience this afternoon changes things?" He asked incredulously.
She turned, her hands going to her hips. "Don't be so dramatic, Smallville. It was just a little incident-"
"A little incident?" He repeated. "And that bump on your head, is that just a little concussion, too? Lois, I don't think you need to be working."
"And I've managed to take care of myself this long without your help. I know what I'm doing." He heard the angry warning in her voice telling him to leave it alone and she whirled away, retreating up the steps.
Furiously, he followed her, wondering if there was another person in this world as stubborn as Lois Lane. He tried once more to reason with her, "I just think that you need to take it easy."
"Clark, the doctor said that I'm fine, so I don't think you need to worry," she shot over her shoulder, her annoyed tone making him grit his teeth. She never listened to him. He didn't know why he tried, he thought as he stomped after her.
They were still arguing as they opened the kitchen door and found his mom standing there, her eyes taking in their wet and bedraggled appearance, her face inscrutable. Just as he was beginning to panic she laughed, shaking her head. "Well, at least you've both got clothes on this time. What happened?"
Lois grinned at him while she snuck a cookie off the pan cooling on the counter. He shook his head, injured or not, Lois still zeroed in on any chocolate in a ten-mile radius. "Like I said, Smallville, you've got a cool mom."
His mom gave her an indulgent and proud smile, but nevertheless shooed her away from the cooling cookies. "Now explain."
Lois began, nonchalantly, "There was a slight accident-"
"Lois almost drowned." He knew that if he let her tell it, she would gloss over everything until she made it sound like she'd just swallowed some water that went down the wrong pipe.
She elbowed him in the ribs on her way to the fridge, ignoring his glare. She poured herself a glass of lemonade as she reassured his mom, "I just bumped my head and swallowed a little water, that's all."
He knew it, he thought, shaking his head. He knew she was going to say that.
"You lost consciousness, and had to be revived with CPR," he corrected, frowning at her.
"You saved her?" He could hear the delighted pride in his mom's voice.
"No," Clark muttered, his mood only becoming worse as he remembered the arrogant smile Arthur Curry had given him through the murky darkness of Crater Lake. He grabbed a cookie of his own and took an angry bite, "some guy named Arthur Curry did."
He saw her eyebrows raise in surprise, and knew that she was wondering how anyone had been able to get to her before he could. Then she turned her attention back to Lois. "But you're okay now?"
"Yeah, Mrs. Kent, Chloe drove me to the emergency room, where a doctor said that I was fine-"
"Actually, the doctor said that you needed to take it easy for the next few days." He crossed his arms and glared down at her.
Lois rolled her eyes. "I don't think that working at a coffee house is going to qualify as strenuous."
"Fine." He threw his hands up in defeat and stomped upstairs, the last of his patience gone. He slammed the door to the bathroom shut, and peeled off his damp clothes. Wrenching on the knobs to the shower, he stepped under the steamy spray. He grabbed the shampoo, poured some out and began scrubbing his hair, his mind unwillingly going back to what had happened earlier at the lake.
"Are we talking Olympic gold metal fast or meteor freak fast?" Chloe asked.
He watched Lois walk unsteadily away, one hand still at her head and answered her cousin's question. "This is something else. He can swim faster than I can."
Lois stumbled in the sand, and the blond surfer wrapped his arms around her, bringing her close to him. Clark told himself that it was concern that rose inside him and compelled him to say, "I don't think that he needs to take her back to the farm."
His voice must have been a little more rough than he intended because Chloe looked up at him questioningly. He clarified with a gesture towards Lois, "She should go to the hospital. She could still have water in her lungs."
"Yeah, you're right," she agreed, nodding, "I'll take her right now."
"Okay, I'll drop Lana off at the Talon and then I'll meet you there. That way I can take Lois home afterward." He was oblivious to the puzzled stare Chloe was giving him as he set off after Lois.
Clark bowed his head under the water, his eyes clenched tight as he let it wash away the shampoo and soap. He hadn't meant to say home, the word had just slipped out, and he was unsure why, hours later, that it still bothered him. He sighed and turned off the water.
Downstairs he could hear the sound of her laughter and sighed once more.
Life was anything but normal.
****
Night had fallen hours earlier, and the darkness, now complete, had slipped across the old farmhouse, easing its creaks and sighs. It was cool and peaceful, the quiet of the night not even allowing the crickets outside to disturb it. So why couldn't he sleep, Clark wondered as he tossed and turned on the narrow couch.
It could have been the ominous threat Jor-El had given him, or the way he was now back to lying to Lana about everything. He shifted again; it could even have been sleeping on the couch, which felt like it had shrunk since last year. But he knew it wasn't any of those things. Frustrated, Clark threw back the blanket and stood up.
It was Lois. And the surfer with the arrogant smile. Arthur Curry. He gritted his teeth as the memory of him holding Lois close flashed in front of his eyes. Forcing his thoughts in another direction, he focused instead on how he might have gotten his ability, if he had been born that way, or if he was like Bart, the victim of an accident. Either way, Clark knew in his gut that he was trouble.
That vague irritation pushed at him once more and he stalked to the window, crossing his arms as he stared out at the farm. Ever since he could remember, on nights when he couldn't sleep he would go to his window and look at the landscape that stretched out until it met the starry sky. And though it had always soothed him before, tonight, it didn't.
He heard footsteps on the kitchen stairs, but didn't turn around. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now.
"Kal-El?"
Clark didn't know what surprised him most, his mom saying his Kryptonian name, or the hopefulness in her voice as she spoke. He jerked around. "Mom?"
He watched as she closed her eyes, dread on her face. "Mom, why did you call me that?"
She hesitated, casting him a regretful look and came into the living room, settling on the couch. He moved to sit on the coffee table in front of her. His heart hammered with an unknown dread, and he tried to think of any reason for her to use his Kryptonian name. "Were you dreaming? Or maybe sleepwalking?"
She chuckled sadly. "No, I wasn't sleepwalking."
"Then why would you call me," he broke off, confused. Grasping for another reason, he guessed, "Did you think that when my powers returned that I would become Kal-El again?"
"Oh, no, sweetheart," his mom hastened to assure him, placing a comforting hand on his face, "I know that you're still you. I had just hoped that-"
His brow furrowed. "Mom, why would you want me to be Kal-El? I don't understand."
His mom sighed and lifted her eyes to his. "Clark, there's-there's something that I need to tell you. Something I've needed to tell you for a long time, but I didn't know how."
"What?" He asked, the fear rising high in the back of his throat and he tried to swallow it down.
"I-I guess it all started because I couldn't sleep. For a while, even after you came back to us and your dad came out of the coma, there were nights when I would wake up, afraid that it had all been a dream." He gave her a soft, regretful smile, squeezing her hand to offer silent comfort for the pain he had caused and she returned the gesture, the look in her eyes assuring him as she had always done that she didn't blame him. "When that happened, I did what my mother always did, I went and made a cup of tea."
"One night, I was in the kitchen and you got off the couch and walked to the bottom of the stairs. There was something about the way you moved," she shook her head, a faraway look in her eyes, "so still, so determined. I said your name, and that's when you told me you were Kal-El."
Her eyes darted quickly to his and Clark knew that the shock was written clearly on his face, but he couldn't make himself ask one of the millions of questions that were buzzing in his head, he couldn't make himself move at all. The only other time he had been Kal-El he could remember what he had done, it was jumbled and fuzzy, but there. He didn't remember any of this and that scared him more than anything.
"I- I was so angry and afraid. I asked why Kal-El was here and you said that you were here-"
She faltered, and Clark had the strange feeling that if he didn't press her, she would just stop there. "I said what, Mom?"
She looked at him, as though judging the effect her words would have on him and then said softly, "You said you were here to protect your destiny."
Questions he didn't dare ask filled the silence and she answered them anyway.
"I didn't know if Jor-El was sending you on another mission or if he was calling you back to him and that you would leave us, forever this time." She took a steadying breath, saying, "But you didn't leave; you went upstairs to Lois's room."
"Lois?" He asked, incredulously. "What does Lois have to do with any-"
"She was the one you were protecting."
Anything else he might have asked died on his lips as he stared at her in shock.
Hurriedly, as though eager to have it all said, she continued, "She was having a nightmare and you bent down, comforting her in her sleep. And I saw something then, that I didn't know was possible-- my son shinning through the eyes of Jor-El's. Clark, you were showing compassion and emotions as Kal-El. You told me that there were different parts to destiny and that Lois had to be protected."
Clark stood abruptly and began pacing the length of the living room, his heart pounding inside him as he tried to process everything his mom had told him. It was crazy. It was ridiculous, to think that- that he would-
He shook his head. No. He refused to believe it.
"Sweetheart," his mom implored softly.
"How many times has it happened?" His voice was harsh in the quiet room as tried to convince himself that maybe it had only happened once. A one-time fluke that didn't mean anything, no matter what he had said as Kal-El.
"A few," she admitted.
Feeling like everything was spinning out of his control, he lashed out angrily, "So, you're telling me that I've been sleepwalking as Kal-El, going to Lois every time she has a bad dream?"
"Not every time," she replied nervously, and he realized then that she had never meant to tell him. Somehow she had not only accepted all of this, but trusted it. "Only the nights when she'd been in real danger or she was hurting, then you became Kal-El."
"Mom, why didn't you tell me about this?" He asked helplessly.
She looked up at him, her blue eyes clear with such strong emotions that his stomach trembled. "Clark, I don't know if you can understand how it feels to know that any moment, someone can come and take your child away from you, but your father and I do. That's why we always tried so hard to protect you and taught you to guard your secret so zealously." She sighed tiredly. "And with everything we've been through with Jor-El, the things he's done to you and the ways he's controlled you; it was comforting to think that even if everything that we have been so afraid of does happen, he won't have control of you completely. That there will be a part of you that will always do what is right. That you'll protect, not conquer."
He rested his hands on his hips and took an unsteady breath, wondering how something could comfort her that scared him so much.
"There is...something else," his mom said, and he looked at her, unable to fathom what else there could be.
"Lois knows."
His eyebrows arched. "Knows? Knows about Kal-El? Knows everything?"
"She woke up one night when you were standing over her," a small chuckle escaped her, breaking up the worry that tightened her face, "I thought she was going to shove you out the window. I had no idea what to say, and the only thing I could come up with is that you were sleepwalking."
"So, you're saying that Lois is okay with me standing over her like some sort of bodyguard?" The same woman who had brushed off his concern this afternoon with a glare as she told him that she could take care of herself had accepted him as a sleepwalking guardian. For a year Lois had known and hadn't said anything to him, hadn't treated him any different. She had still teased, still berated, and still acted like he was completely normal.
And how exactly did Lois having a nightmare cause his Kryptonian self to emerge, he wondered, running rough hands through his already tangled hair. She didn't know about Krypton. She didn't about Jor-El or any of it. Why would he be so sensitive to how she felt? If his mom had told him it was Lana he was protecting or even Chloe, it would have made more sense, but Lois? They weren't even that close. They had become reluctant friends, and he would admit that occasionally there were times that she let him inside the walls that she used to keep everyone else out, but those times were fleeting and then he was right back on the other side of the wall with everyone else in her life. He shook his head dismissively. Lois didn't need him, she never had, never would.
"Lois was a little...reluctant, at first, but when I explained that you were sleepwalking and telling you would only embarrass you, she didn't say anything. In time, she began to accept it. You helped her Clark. And the fact that you didn't remember anything gave her a comfort zone, a place where she could let herself be vulnerable. So, yes, Lois accepted you and has for over a year."
He didn't want to hear that, didn't want his heart tripping at his mom's words. Desperately, he asked, "What does she have to do with Jor-El?"
His mom watched him thoughtfully. "I don't know that she has anything to do with him, Clark. I think it's like what you said, there are different parts to destiny, and maybe there are parts of yours that don't involve Jor-El."
His emotions swirling inside him, he asked agitatedly, "So, what does this mean? Are you saying that Lois is my- that we are-" He sputtered, unable to even finish his thought.
"I'm saying that Lois is someone very special to you," she cut across gently, "but I think you knew that before this, didn't you?"
She smiled at him, that same understanding smile she had given him countless times through the years when he was facing a problem that he had to work out for himself. She stood and hugged him, going upstairs and leaving a very confused Clark alone with his thoughts.
****
LOL, has it been worth the wait?
Thanks heaps Briee.
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