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Title: I'll Be There For You
Author: Phoenixnz
Characters: Clark, Lois, Lex, Lana, Oliver, Chloe
Rating: PG13
Genre: comedy (hopefully), total rip off of another tv show (one guess as to what it is), episodal fic.
Pairing: Clois (so this'll be like that other show but here it will definitely be the Clark and Lois show rather than an ensemble piece. The others are just there for background, kind of)
Feedback: Will you be there for me?
Summary: Oh, forget the summary. Here's the characters and how I picture them.
Clark = Ross, Lois = Rachel, Lex = Chandler, Chloe = Monica, Oliver = Joey, Lana = Phoebe (yes, I know she's not blonde, but she could be just as flaky)
Credits with theme song:
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job’s a joke you’re broke
Your love life’s DOA
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day your week your month
Or even your year
But I’ll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
Cause you’re there for me too
Episode One - The One Where It All Began
“I’m telling you, he was checking out my ass.” Lex looked up as Clark came in and flopped down on the sofa.
“Tell me, Clark, do I look gay to you?”
Clark just looked back at him, puzzled. “I’m sorry, can you repeat the question?”
“Lex thinks his new assistant was checking out his ass. His new male assistant,” Chloe qualified. “Personally, I think Lex is just obsessed with his ass.”
Clark considered his friend. “Well, let’s see. You’re bald and obsessed with your looks. That’s one.”
“So not,” Lex muttered.
“Plus you do wear a lot of purple.”
Chloe snorted. “Yeah, that’s true. So gay.” Lex glared at her. She just grinned back at him. “Plus,” she added to Clark’s list, “you do drive those fancy sports cars.”
“They’re called Porsche’s, Chloe,” Clark smirked at her.
“It’s pronounced Pour-sha!” Lex pointed out.
Chloe smirked. “So gay.”
Lex’s glare turned even darker. Chloe just grinned at him and blew him a kiss. Sighing, Lex turned toward the counter to see Lana hurrying over.
“Lex?”
“Where’s my coffee?” he whined. “I ordered coffee ten minutes ago.”
“Coming your highness,” she said with a mock bow, grinning at Clark’s snort of laughter.
“Caffeine junkie,” Chloe muttered. Lex glared at her.
“Listen, Sullivan, if you want to talk caffeine junkies ...”
Clark rolled his eyes. Here we go again, he thought. As long as Chloe and Lex had known each other, they’d been at each other’s throats. Why didn’t they just get a room and get it over with?
“Why don’t you guys just get a room and get it over with?”
Lex stared at him in astonishment. Chloe’s face mirrored his. Then they both grabbed pillows from the sofa and hit him with it. Clark spluttered, laughing. Lana, meanwhile, had brought over the coffee.
“Your latte, your worshipfulness,” she said with a grin at Lex, handing him his cup. He took it with an answering smile and patted her on the backside.
“Good girl. Now off you go.”
“What? No tip?” Lana looked all doe-eyed at him.
“Here’s a tip,” he grinned. “Move faster.”
Oliver came in and flopped down on the sofa next to Clark.
“Greetings,” he said.
Lex looked at him. “Now you want to talk gay,” he said. “How about a guy who wears tights? Green tights.” Oliver looked affronted.
“They’re leather, Lex, thank you very much. Green Arrow would never be caught dead in tights.”
Lex glared at his old school buddy. “Uh, a little louder, Ollie, so Gotham city can hear you.”
The door to the Talon was suddenly flung open and a girl in a white wedding dress came in from the rain. She was sopping wet and bedraggled, looking around frantically. Chloe frowned, then her eyes widened as she saw who it was.
“Lois?”
Lois Lane looked around then flung her arms her shorter cousin.
“Chloe, oh my god, am I glad to see you.”
Chloe winced at the tight squeeze and pulled back. “Uh, Lois, you’re dripping.”
Lois’ eyes widened. “Huh? Oh, well it is raining. And I ran all the way from the chapel.”
“Chapel? Where you were supposed to be getting married. And I still can’t believe you didn’t invite me.”
“It wasn’t me, Chloe, I swear. It’s my Dad. You know what the General’s been like ever since he and Uncle Gabe had that massive blow-out.”
Clark got up, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and handing it to Lois.
“Thanks Smallville,” she said, towelling her hair.
“So, uh Lois, why are you here instead of getting married to, what was his name?”
“Wes. Wes I’m a lying cheating scumbag Keenan.”
Chloe looked taken aback. “Okay, a little vehement, but I’ll take it. What happened?”
“I caught him Frenching another girl. Right before the ceremony. But anyway, I’d kind of been thinking for a while that he wasn’t the guy for me and I really wasn’t sure I should be getting married and I remember sitting in that room ...” She paused for breath, looking up as Lana handed her a hot cappuccino, and Clark led her to the sofa. Oliver moved over obligingly. “Thanks. Anyway, I was sitting there, you know in that room where they make you sit to wait for the ceremony and I was thinking what am I doing? What am I doing? Why am I getting married if I’m having all these doubts? So I opened the window and I jumped out.”
“You jumped out?”
Lois looked at Lex, noticing him for the first time.
“Yes, I jumped out. Where have you been?” She sipped her cappuccino and sighed appreciatively. “Wow, this is great coffee.” Then she groaned. “My father’s going to be so pissed.”
Chloe put an arm around her cousin. “Come on,” she said. “I have an apartment upstairs. Let’s get you out of those wet clothes. I think I have something that will fit you.”
“I’m sorry my Dad didn’t invite you to the wedding, Chlo. Although I am kinda glad. I mean, what would I have done if you hadn’t been here?”
“I’m sure you would have landed on your feet. You’re a Lane after all.”
Half an hour later, Lois came back down wearing jeans and a t-shirt and looked a little tight on her. Clark stared at her, taken by the sight of her in the tight clothes.
“Don’t you have chores or something Farmboy?” she asked.
“Well, since my Mom left for Washington, we’ve leased the farm land to our neighbour and I went back to college full-time.” He’d taken the rest of the semester and another year after his father had died but when Martha became a US Senator and moved to Washington, she had made him promise that he would return to college. He had done a few accelerate courses and halved his time, doing two years in one. He would graduate in spring with a degree in journalism and already had a job lined up at the Daily Planet, thanks to a certain editor.
“Oh. I was sorry to hear about your Dad. I bet he would have made a great senator.”
“Thanks. I guess it’s been a while huh. I haven’t seen you since graduation.”
“Yeah, well, you know the General. He wasn’t going to be happy unless I tracked down Lucy and dragged her ass back home.” After Lucy had got mixed up with a bad crowd, then tried to extort money from Lex, she had run off to Mexico, then had disappeared. General Lane had told Lois it was her ‘mission’ to find her sister and bring her home, or as Lois put it, the stockade.
Lois’ father chose that moment to walk in to the Talon.
“Lo, what’s the meaning of this? Do you realise you have embarrassed me in front of the whole company?”
Lois gulped. “Daddy, I can explain.”
Clark made a discreet exit, going back to sit with his friends in the corner. But they could still hear the raised voices of the two Lanes. They couldn’t help but listen as Lois told him about Wes cheating on her. That it wasn’t the first time and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last. And she thought she was too young to get married anyway.
“It’s like you’ve always said, Daddy. I’m a link in the chain of command. Well, maybe I don’t want to be a link. Maybe I want to be ... I don’t know, a lock.”
They didn’t hear Sam Lane’s answer. Lex was snorting aloud. Clark shot his friend a look, telling him to shut up.
“Lo, I’ve tolerated your nonsense before. Now you either march back to base soldier, or find your own way.”
“Fine Daddy, you know what, I don’t need you. I can make it on my own.”
“You do that Lo.”
Everyone heard the slamming of the door. Lois appeared and sat down on the sofa adjacent to the one Clark was sitting on.
“So, I guess you heard all that, huh?”
They all grimaced.
“Sorry Lois,” Chloe said.
She shrugged. “Hey, I’m a Lane, remember? I’m like a cat.”
“With big ...” Lex muttered. Chloe kicked him in the ankle and he glared at her.
“So, what are you going to do?” Oliver asked, speaking for the first time since Lois had come in.
“Get a job, I guess. You hiring?” she said to Lana.
“You want to be a coffee jockey?” Lana asked, her almond eyes wide and incredulous.
“Got nothing better to do.”
“She’ll have to fill out an application,” Lex said. “Got any relevant experience?”
Lana just glared at him. “Two words for ya, Lex. Silent partner. That means, you get no say in it.” She put an arm around Lois’ shoulder. “Come right this way,” she said. “We’ll get you kitted out.”
Lois growled. “Lana?”
“Yes Lois?”
“No more military references,’kay?”
“Gotcha.”
Clark stayed on to help Lana with the clean up while the others made their way home. Chloe and Lois had gone upstairs to work on a game plan. As he was putting chairs on the tables, Lois came back downstairs.
“How’re you doing?” he asked.
“Meh!” she said, shrugging her shoulders. She glanced toward the back room of the Talon where Lana was going through inventory. “So, what’s with you and Lana? Last I heard you guys were joined at the hip!”
Clark shook his head. “I guess we finally realised we weren’t just meant to be.”
He wasn’t going to tell Lois, but he’d fancied he’d had a crush on her for a little while. That had been back in senior year, when Lana had dated another guy. But then Lana had dumped Jason, who’d turned out to be a control freak, and they’d gone back to the same old angst. They’d finally broken up for good a year ago after they’d both realised they were better off being friends.
“I can’t believe you’re still friends with Lex, though.”
“Lex isn’t so bad,” Clark said. “Give him a chance. I mean, I know he can come across as pretty arrogant, but he’s a good guy, really.”
Lois shook her head. “No such thing.” She sighed and squared her shoulders. “Well, I should get going. I have an early start in the morning. I'm a working girl now.”
“Good night, Lois,” Clark said, watching as she went back up the stairs.
“Good night Clark.”
Author: Phoenixnz
Characters: Clark, Lois, Lex, Lana, Oliver, Chloe
Rating: PG13
Genre: comedy (hopefully), total rip off of another tv show (one guess as to what it is), episodal fic.
Pairing: Clois (so this'll be like that other show but here it will definitely be the Clark and Lois show rather than an ensemble piece. The others are just there for background, kind of)
Feedback: Will you be there for me?
Summary: Oh, forget the summary. Here's the characters and how I picture them.
Clark = Ross, Lois = Rachel, Lex = Chandler, Chloe = Monica, Oliver = Joey, Lana = Phoebe (yes, I know she's not blonde, but she could be just as flaky)
Credits with theme song:
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job’s a joke you’re broke
Your love life’s DOA
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day your week your month
Or even your year
But I’ll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
Cause you’re there for me too
Episode One - The One Where It All Began
“I’m telling you, he was checking out my ass.” Lex looked up as Clark came in and flopped down on the sofa.
“Tell me, Clark, do I look gay to you?”
Clark just looked back at him, puzzled. “I’m sorry, can you repeat the question?”
“Lex thinks his new assistant was checking out his ass. His new male assistant,” Chloe qualified. “Personally, I think Lex is just obsessed with his ass.”
Clark considered his friend. “Well, let’s see. You’re bald and obsessed with your looks. That’s one.”
“So not,” Lex muttered.
“Plus you do wear a lot of purple.”
Chloe snorted. “Yeah, that’s true. So gay.” Lex glared at her. She just grinned back at him. “Plus,” she added to Clark’s list, “you do drive those fancy sports cars.”
“They’re called Porsche’s, Chloe,” Clark smirked at her.
“It’s pronounced Pour-sha!” Lex pointed out.
Chloe smirked. “So gay.”
Lex’s glare turned even darker. Chloe just grinned at him and blew him a kiss. Sighing, Lex turned toward the counter to see Lana hurrying over.
“Lex?”
“Where’s my coffee?” he whined. “I ordered coffee ten minutes ago.”
“Coming your highness,” she said with a mock bow, grinning at Clark’s snort of laughter.
“Caffeine junkie,” Chloe muttered. Lex glared at her.
“Listen, Sullivan, if you want to talk caffeine junkies ...”
Clark rolled his eyes. Here we go again, he thought. As long as Chloe and Lex had known each other, they’d been at each other’s throats. Why didn’t they just get a room and get it over with?
“Why don’t you guys just get a room and get it over with?”
Lex stared at him in astonishment. Chloe’s face mirrored his. Then they both grabbed pillows from the sofa and hit him with it. Clark spluttered, laughing. Lana, meanwhile, had brought over the coffee.
“Your latte, your worshipfulness,” she said with a grin at Lex, handing him his cup. He took it with an answering smile and patted her on the backside.
“Good girl. Now off you go.”
“What? No tip?” Lana looked all doe-eyed at him.
“Here’s a tip,” he grinned. “Move faster.”
Oliver came in and flopped down on the sofa next to Clark.
“Greetings,” he said.
Lex looked at him. “Now you want to talk gay,” he said. “How about a guy who wears tights? Green tights.” Oliver looked affronted.
“They’re leather, Lex, thank you very much. Green Arrow would never be caught dead in tights.”
Lex glared at his old school buddy. “Uh, a little louder, Ollie, so Gotham city can hear you.”
The door to the Talon was suddenly flung open and a girl in a white wedding dress came in from the rain. She was sopping wet and bedraggled, looking around frantically. Chloe frowned, then her eyes widened as she saw who it was.
“Lois?”
Lois Lane looked around then flung her arms her shorter cousin.
“Chloe, oh my god, am I glad to see you.”
Chloe winced at the tight squeeze and pulled back. “Uh, Lois, you’re dripping.”
Lois’ eyes widened. “Huh? Oh, well it is raining. And I ran all the way from the chapel.”
“Chapel? Where you were supposed to be getting married. And I still can’t believe you didn’t invite me.”
“It wasn’t me, Chloe, I swear. It’s my Dad. You know what the General’s been like ever since he and Uncle Gabe had that massive blow-out.”
Clark got up, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and handing it to Lois.
“Thanks Smallville,” she said, towelling her hair.
“So, uh Lois, why are you here instead of getting married to, what was his name?”
“Wes. Wes I’m a lying cheating scumbag Keenan.”
Chloe looked taken aback. “Okay, a little vehement, but I’ll take it. What happened?”
“I caught him Frenching another girl. Right before the ceremony. But anyway, I’d kind of been thinking for a while that he wasn’t the guy for me and I really wasn’t sure I should be getting married and I remember sitting in that room ...” She paused for breath, looking up as Lana handed her a hot cappuccino, and Clark led her to the sofa. Oliver moved over obligingly. “Thanks. Anyway, I was sitting there, you know in that room where they make you sit to wait for the ceremony and I was thinking what am I doing? What am I doing? Why am I getting married if I’m having all these doubts? So I opened the window and I jumped out.”
“You jumped out?”
Lois looked at Lex, noticing him for the first time.
“Yes, I jumped out. Where have you been?” She sipped her cappuccino and sighed appreciatively. “Wow, this is great coffee.” Then she groaned. “My father’s going to be so pissed.”
Chloe put an arm around her cousin. “Come on,” she said. “I have an apartment upstairs. Let’s get you out of those wet clothes. I think I have something that will fit you.”
“I’m sorry my Dad didn’t invite you to the wedding, Chlo. Although I am kinda glad. I mean, what would I have done if you hadn’t been here?”
“I’m sure you would have landed on your feet. You’re a Lane after all.”
Half an hour later, Lois came back down wearing jeans and a t-shirt and looked a little tight on her. Clark stared at her, taken by the sight of her in the tight clothes.
“Don’t you have chores or something Farmboy?” she asked.
“Well, since my Mom left for Washington, we’ve leased the farm land to our neighbour and I went back to college full-time.” He’d taken the rest of the semester and another year after his father had died but when Martha became a US Senator and moved to Washington, she had made him promise that he would return to college. He had done a few accelerate courses and halved his time, doing two years in one. He would graduate in spring with a degree in journalism and already had a job lined up at the Daily Planet, thanks to a certain editor.
“Oh. I was sorry to hear about your Dad. I bet he would have made a great senator.”
“Thanks. I guess it’s been a while huh. I haven’t seen you since graduation.”
“Yeah, well, you know the General. He wasn’t going to be happy unless I tracked down Lucy and dragged her ass back home.” After Lucy had got mixed up with a bad crowd, then tried to extort money from Lex, she had run off to Mexico, then had disappeared. General Lane had told Lois it was her ‘mission’ to find her sister and bring her home, or as Lois put it, the stockade.
Lois’ father chose that moment to walk in to the Talon.
“Lo, what’s the meaning of this? Do you realise you have embarrassed me in front of the whole company?”
Lois gulped. “Daddy, I can explain.”
Clark made a discreet exit, going back to sit with his friends in the corner. But they could still hear the raised voices of the two Lanes. They couldn’t help but listen as Lois told him about Wes cheating on her. That it wasn’t the first time and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last. And she thought she was too young to get married anyway.
“It’s like you’ve always said, Daddy. I’m a link in the chain of command. Well, maybe I don’t want to be a link. Maybe I want to be ... I don’t know, a lock.”
They didn’t hear Sam Lane’s answer. Lex was snorting aloud. Clark shot his friend a look, telling him to shut up.
“Lo, I’ve tolerated your nonsense before. Now you either march back to base soldier, or find your own way.”
“Fine Daddy, you know what, I don’t need you. I can make it on my own.”
“You do that Lo.”
Everyone heard the slamming of the door. Lois appeared and sat down on the sofa adjacent to the one Clark was sitting on.
“So, I guess you heard all that, huh?”
They all grimaced.
“Sorry Lois,” Chloe said.
She shrugged. “Hey, I’m a Lane, remember? I’m like a cat.”
“With big ...” Lex muttered. Chloe kicked him in the ankle and he glared at her.
“So, what are you going to do?” Oliver asked, speaking for the first time since Lois had come in.
“Get a job, I guess. You hiring?” she said to Lana.
“You want to be a coffee jockey?” Lana asked, her almond eyes wide and incredulous.
“Got nothing better to do.”
“She’ll have to fill out an application,” Lex said. “Got any relevant experience?”
Lana just glared at him. “Two words for ya, Lex. Silent partner. That means, you get no say in it.” She put an arm around Lois’ shoulder. “Come right this way,” she said. “We’ll get you kitted out.”
Lois growled. “Lana?”
“Yes Lois?”
“No more military references,’kay?”
“Gotcha.”
Clark stayed on to help Lana with the clean up while the others made their way home. Chloe and Lois had gone upstairs to work on a game plan. As he was putting chairs on the tables, Lois came back downstairs.
“How’re you doing?” he asked.
“Meh!” she said, shrugging her shoulders. She glanced toward the back room of the Talon where Lana was going through inventory. “So, what’s with you and Lana? Last I heard you guys were joined at the hip!”
Clark shook his head. “I guess we finally realised we weren’t just meant to be.”
He wasn’t going to tell Lois, but he’d fancied he’d had a crush on her for a little while. That had been back in senior year, when Lana had dated another guy. But then Lana had dumped Jason, who’d turned out to be a control freak, and they’d gone back to the same old angst. They’d finally broken up for good a year ago after they’d both realised they were better off being friends.
“I can’t believe you’re still friends with Lex, though.”
“Lex isn’t so bad,” Clark said. “Give him a chance. I mean, I know he can come across as pretty arrogant, but he’s a good guy, really.”
Lois shook her head. “No such thing.” She sighed and squared her shoulders. “Well, I should get going. I have an early start in the morning. I'm a working girl now.”
“Good night, Lois,” Clark said, watching as she went back up the stairs.
“Good night Clark.”
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