The Clana Journals

[SVsleuth]

Title/Link: The Clana Journals
Author:SVsleuth
Pairing: Clark/Lana
Rating: PG/PG-13
Warnings (if needed):None
Spoilers (when applicable):None

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters from Smallville. This story is just for fun, for the Clana fans.

Short summary:This will be different than most stories. Instead of a “new” story, we will delve deeper into the hearts & minds of Clark & Lana leading up to & during Season 4. We will do this by gaining access to the private journals that they both keep. Occasionally, we may get a peek into the journals of other characters as well, but not right away. You may enjoy watching the episode being reflected upon before or after reading the fanfic for that episode.

NOTE: The dialog is straight from the episodes. The journals are my own creation.

LEGACY- Part 1

This begins near the end of Season 3, episode 17, Legacy. Everything before this has occurred exactly as on Smallville. This is at the time when Jonathan is receiving messages from Jor-El, through the key, after his heart surgery.

Clark is at the Talon. He and Lana are talking about Clark trying to understand what his dad is going through after his surgery. She pours him some coffee.

Clark: He's just not the same dad I know. He keeps talking about all these opportunities he’s missed in his life.

Lana: Clark, it's gonna be okay. There isn't anything that you can't recover from.

Clark: What if you screw up something so badly you can never get it back?

Lana: Well, I guess that depends on how determined you are.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL:

My dad seems different lately. He keeps talking about all these opportunities he’s missed in his life. I wonder what it is that he regrets missing out on, or what it is that he wishes he had done differently. Will I have similar regrets someday? Will I look back on my life 20 years from now and wish I had done something differently? Will I look back and always wonder what my life could have been if I had told Lana my secret? Will I regret not being honest with her all my life? Maybe it’s not too late to re-capture that opportunity with Lana. She said herself there isn’t anything you can’t recover from. It seems to me I’ve screwed up things with Lana so badly that I can never get it back. I guess I don’t have to wait 20 years to know what my dad was talking about. I already regret the missed opportunities I’ve had with Lana. I regret pushing her away. And I already wonder what my life might be like now if I hadn’t done so. Is it possible, even yet, to recover the opportunity to be together with Lana? She said it depends on how determined you are. Maybe if I am really determined to make it work this time, really persistent, really open and honest with her… maybe our love can still be rekindled. I think I’ll go for it. What have I got to lose?

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL:

I talked with Clark a bit at the Talon today. He seemed worried about his dad – said he keeps talking about the “missed opportunities” in his life. I wonder if I’m missing out on opportunities in my own life. In my mom’s graduation speech she said that she never made a difference, but that maybe her children can. Am I making a difference in this world? I haven’t even given much thought to my goals in life. I haven’t really spent enough time discovering and developing my own gifts and talents during high school. I don’t really know what I’m cut out for, and have no idea how I could “make a difference.” Why haven’t I spent time on this? What have I been focusing on instead? ..... If I’m honest with myself, I’d have to admit that I do know the answer to that question. The answer is CLARK.

Ever since that day freshman year when I met up with Clark at the cemetery, I’ve had an attraction to him that just doesn’t go away. Even though I was with Whitney, more and more I wanted to be with Clark instead. I’ll never forget that night when we almost kissed, and Nell interrupted us, and spoiled things. The next day, Clark backpeddled, sending me back to Whitney. I really didn’t get it when he did that. But looking back, I guess that’s one of the things that attracts me to Clark: he never wants to take advantage of someone, especially when they’re in the midst of some difficulty.

All through high school, it seems that various things have kept Clark and me apart. First Whitney, and his dad’s illness and death; then, Clark’s interest in Chloe; then Clark seeming to push me away for unexplainable reasons. Finally, we were together and really in love – but only for 2 days before he suddenly took off for Metropolis. He never could explain. He never would open up to me. He just kept pushing me away. Then, I pushed him away, when I got injured by the horse, helping Clark with some sort of secret investigation concerning Lex. Yeah, I pushed him away. I was hurt and afraid. Then, there was Adam. But in my heart, was always Clark – only Clark.

I’ve been so focused on Clark, trying to stay in his orbit and on good terms with him, hoping that eventually he would let me in, and we could get back together again. But, I’m thinking now, that maybe I’ve been so pre-occupied with my desire to get back together with Clark, that I haven’t spent time discovering who I really am and who I want to be, and how I might make a difference in this world. I think it’s time that I put aside my pre-occupation with Clark, and find out who I want to be.

What are my interests that I’ve neglected? One thing that I’ve always been interested in is art, but I’ve never taken up serious study of it. I also love poetry and horseback riding, but these are just hobbies, my relaxation. I’d love to travel far away somewhere - see what else is out there in this world, beyond Smallville. Maybe it’s time I pursue these goals more seriously, art & travel. If I don’t, I may someday look back on my life, like Mr. Kent, wondering what opportunities I missed, wondering what my life could have been – and I may regret that I missed out on so much, and did not ever make a difference. I think it’s time that I take my focus off of Clark, and off of any guy, and just discover what the world has to offer me, and how I can make a difference.
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Want more? Please post your comments. Thanks.

[Ketchup]

That was beautifully written, please keep it up and PPMS!

[ajfinn]

Whoo hoo!! Can't wait to read more!!!! I knew there had to be a writer behind all those kind posts :)

[4EverSmallville]

:D This is a very promising idea and I'm interested in seeing where you take it.

I'm not sure if you did this on purpose, but it is characteristic of Lana to be more open emotionally than Clark. Could you have considered that since you made Lana's journal entry notably longer? If you did, nice touch :). But even if not, it was still good :).

Great start!

[SVsleuth]

Thanks, guys. I haven't written anything in years. Y'all have inspired me. As for the length of the journal entries, sometimes there will be an entry for both of them, sometimes for only one of them. Sometimes Clark's will be longer. I think he can open up to his journal more than to another person. After all, he's only talking to himself. Anyway, it takes a long time to write, type, format & post these things! I admire all of you who are so dedicated to doing it frequently. I don't think I can keep these early morning hours for long, but I have the next several updates ready to post, starting later today. Thanks for the inspiration.
SVsleuth

[4EverSmallville]

Always here when you need it :D. Although these early hours don't do well on me either lol. I'll be looking out for an update on this :).

[SVsleuth]

LEGACY – Part 2

At the Talon, after closing, same night. Clark hangs up the phone. Lana walks toward him.

Clark: Thanks, for the phone.

Lana: Clark, what’s going on?

Clark walks to the bar and stays there with his back to Lana.

Clark: My dad kinda went AWOL. He was halfway through unloading the feed run, and he just jumped in his truck and took off.

(Lana walks closer to Clark.)

Clark: I'm sorry, Lana, it's just-- he's never done anything like this before.

Lana puts a hand on Clark's arm and turns him around. She takes his hands in hers.

Lana: Hey, you know what? It's gonna be okay.

Clark: I didn't mean to unload on you like that.

Lana: No…You never have to apologize for opening up to me.

They look deeply into each other’s eyes. Clark leans in to kiss her. She returns his kiss, at first. Then she pulls back, a bit shaken by what just happened.

Clark: Lana?

Lana: I know this is a stressful time for you.

Clark: No. That's not what this is about. Lana, I don't want to look back like my dad and wonder what my life could've been.

Clark leans in to try to kiss her again, but she stops him.

Lana: Clark, we've tried this once before.

Clark: You said there's nothing you can't recover from.

Lana: (With tears in her eyes.) No, I wasn't talking about us. Look, right now think about your dad, okay? He's the one that needs you.

Clark: (Nods, disappointed.) Yeah.

Clark walks out of the Talon. Lana seems angry and starts scrubbing the counter as a few tears fall down her cheeks.

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL

I am so angry with myself. Why did I allow Clark to kiss me? Why did I kiss him back? I’d just decided to focus on discovering my gifts and talents, on discovering how I can make a difference in the world – and then, Clark walks in and kisses me, and I cave in to the ever lingering desire to be with him again.

What made you do that, Clark? I’m angry with you, too. What gives you the right to bring those feelings to the surface again? A part of me still wants to be with you so badly. But, you’ve hurt me so many times, pushing me away every time we’ve started to get close. A part of me wants to believe that you have changed, that you won’t push me away this time. But I’m losing faith. I can’t bear for you to pull me near and then push me away again.

It’s in times like these that I truly wish I had a mother or a sister to talk to – or even that Nell were here, or that I had a really close friend to talk to about it. Chloe is my closest friend – but, I could never talk to her openly about my feelings for Clark. There’s just too much history among the three of us. No. I have no one. Whenever I am in need, I am alone. I wonder if I’ll always be alone. Clark is the only one I’ve ever really been able to open up to. If only he would have opened up to me as well. But, he didn’t, not much. He remains a mystery to me. And still – I am alone; and lonely. And so is he.

-----
-----

Legacy -Part 3

Lex’s Mansion, later that night. As Lex & Lana finish up the Talon paperwork, Lex observes that something is bothering Lana. As she is about to leave, he speaks to her.

Lex: Lana, you know you can talk to me about anything.

Lana pauses & thinks to herself, “Maybe Lex is someone I can talk to. He’s like an older brother to me.” She walks back toward Lex & sits on the couch across the table from him.

Lana: I want to believe that someone can change, but... (Starting to tear up) … but I'm starting to lose faith.

Lex: Are we talking about Clark?

Lana: (Pauses. Nods, wiping her tears.) Well, yeah. He, uh, he came by the Talon earlier… and he kissed me.

(Tears spill down her cheeks)

Lex: He kissed you.

Lana: Yeah.

Lex: Isn't that what you wanted?

Lana: I don't-- (Lana takes a breath, holding back a sob.) I don't know.

Lex stands up and walks over to Lana's side of the table, sitting next to her. He puts a comforting hand on her back.

Lex: Look, I'm afraid I'm a little jaded in the romance department. The only thing I know about relationships is that… someone usually winds up getting hurt.

Lana: And you don't think I can trust Clark to not do that.

Lex: I don't think it's about trust. It's like the German poet Rilke said, "A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them. They're who they've been throughout your whole relationship."

Lana looks at the floor and then back into Lex's eyes unhappily, pondering these words.

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL

I talked with Lex about Clark. He’s become like a brother to me. He’s the only one who offered to listen to me – who noticed I needed to talk about something. I trusted him and told him about Clark kissing me. He said that a person is not who they were during your last conversation with them, but they’re who they have been throughout your entire relationship. I think he’s right. Clark will continue to be who Clark has always been. I cannot expect that he has changed and that things will turn out differently if I give him one more chance. No. I’m going to stick to the decision I made. I’m going to pursue the dream I have of traveling far away. I’m going to spend time discovering who I really am and finding out how I can make a difference in this world. And I’m going to do it on my own, without help from anyone. And I’m going to do it without Clark Kent.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

I had decided to go for it with Lana. I decided I did not want to look back on my life and wonder what it could have been like – with her. So when the opportunity presented itself tonight at the Talon… I kissed her. I’m sure she kissed me back, at first, but then she pulled away. When she said she wasn’t talking about “us” when she'd said there’s nothing you can’t recover from, I felt as if a sharp dagger had penetrated my heart.
I was attempting to make things right with her this time. I truly intended to tell her everything and let her decide for herself about us. But she didn’t give me a chance. She pushed me away …. just like I’ve...
like I've pushed her away, so many times. How many times have I caused her the same pain I am feeling now? How many times have I wounded her heart? I can’t blame her for pushing me away. She’s just trying to protect her heart. But, what am I supposed to do now? Should I just give up, and resign myself to living my life apart from Lana? Her words echo in my mind, “I guess it depends on how determined you are.” But… she said she wasn’t talking about “us”. Well, what can I lose by being “very determined” to give this one more shot – my best shot? No, I can’t give up that easily. I’m going to tell Lana everything.

[Karen26]

i like it although i just found i want to know what happens next

[peaches4cream]

cool keep going

[ajfinn]

Yeah!! This is when I think Clana started going horribly wrong in the series - I mean it had it's problems before, but this really felt like it was time for them to get past everything ------- but they didn't! So, SVSleuth, make me a happy fan and fix it :) I'm excited to keep reading.

[SVsleuth]

This info has been added to the intro:

"You may enjoy watching the episode being reflected upon before or after reading the fanfic for that episode. "

"NOTE: The dialog is straight from the episodes. The journals are my own creation."

To ajfinn: I am not planning to veer away from what already happened in the Smallville episodes, just fill in our understanding of why Clark & Lana acted the way they did. If I ever catch up to the current episode, before S5, I may then move it to Clana, but if it takes me too long to get there, & S5 begins, I may just do my journals on the current episode each week. This may be harder to do than what I'm now doing, because, with S3 & S4, I can use hindsight to help me decipher the "big picture." Hope this doesn't disappoint you too much. The Clana will always be there, though, in their journals. ;)

[peaches4cream]

thats cool

[4EverSmallville]

I'm intrigued. An inside view into the minds of Clark and Lana. Excellent. I hope you continue this through S5.

[BriannaD413]

I like this story. I love how it's writted. PPMS!!!

[SVsleuth]

I guess I'll post one more today. Here it is:

LEGACY – Part 4

Kent Farm. Lana drives up. Clark sees her & puts down the wheelbarrow, walking toward her.

Clark: Hi!

Lana: (Getting out of SUV & walking past Clark.) Umm… I know you have a lot going on right now, but I think we left things in kind of a weird place.

Clark follows Lana as she walks away from the vehicle, toward the barn.

Clark: I know the way I’ve been acting is kind of hard to understand, but, Lana, my feelings for you have never changed.

Lana: I guess a part of me knows that, but, you know, it’s like Lex says: A person isn’t who they say they are in any one moment, they’re who they’ve always been.

Clark: Lex? What does he have to do with this?

Lana stops and turns to Clark.

Lana: I trust him. I trust his advice. He only wants what's best for us.

Clark: (Making direct eye contact.) Lana, how many times have we been standing here avoiding what we both want?

Lana: That's because every time you let me get close, it hurts that much more when you leave. You can't keep changing the rules.

Clark: I'm sorry, Lana, I never meant to hurt you. But I promise, I'm not going to leave this time.

Lana: (Quickly, so as not to lose her nerve & cave again.) Maybe I am.
(Clark stops, surprised.) You know what your dad said about looking back on his life and feeling as though he'd missed something? Clark, I have been so focused on you, waiting to see if we could ever get back together that, maybe I'm missing out on some opportunities.

Clark: (With a hurt expression.) Like seeing other people.

Lana: No. No - I mean everything. Until I figure that out, I can't keep doing this. It's not fair to either of us.

Clark looks down silently as Lana walks back to her car. She looks at Clark as she gets in and starts the engine. He watches her sadly, as she drives away.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Why can Lana and I never be ready to try again at the same time? When she was ready, I wasn’t. Now that I’m ready, she’s not. It really hurts that she doesn’t want to try again right now. I hope she can figure out what it is she’s looking for in life. And I hope she will eventually come back to me. How determined should I remain now to win her to me? She seemed to say that she’s been neglecting finding her place in this world because she’s been too focused exclusively on our relationship, as if that is all that matters. Have I been doing the same thing? Have I been so focused on Lana that I have neglected to seek out my place in this world – or as Jor-El would call it, my DESTINY? Maybe that’s what Jor-El has been trying to get across to me. Maybe I should be spending more effort discovering what I want to choose as my destiny, what path I will follow – try to discover how I can use my abilities and talents to help people more. Maybe I, too, have been avoiding this, because I was too focused on Lana. Maybe it’s time I stop rejecting my destiny. But I will never accept Jor-El’s plan for me. I will choose my own destiny, like Dr. Swann said I should. I will choose my own way to help others on this planet. And when I find my place in this world, and Lana finds hers, I hope with all my being that our paths will merge once again, and that we can finally share a future together.

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL

It was so hard to go and talk to Clark. It was even harder to fight off my urge to give him another chance when he seemed so sincere, promising that he wouldn’t leave this time. Part of me wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss his soft lips, and tell him how much I really want to be with him. Part of me aches to feel his strong yet gentle arms around me again, and to rest my head upon his chest. Did I do the right thing pushing him away again? Oh, Clark, if only I could believe that it could really be different this time.

How can I go on like this, seeing Clark everywhere I go, and having to constantly fight this battle within myself? If I really want to find my place in the world, I think I have to go far away from Clark – for awhile, at least – so that I am not constantly forced to deal with my feelings for him. Maybe it’s time that I venture out into the world, take a trip somewhere, explore my interest in art, or something. Yeah. I’m going to start seeking out opportunities to do that. If only I knew where to begin. Maybe I could talk to Lex again. Maybe he knows of a place I could go for some art training or something. But I’m going to do it on my own. I will not let Lex finance my travel or art instruction, or anything. I will have to make it clear to him that I do not want a handout, just some suggestions.

----

LANA’s JOURNAL Next day’s entry

I talked to Lex about my desire to travel and study art. He gave me a brochure about the Paris School of the Arts. It sounds like just the thing for me. I sent in my online application this morning. I hope they accept me. I hope they also accept my financial aid appeal, because without that, there’s no way I can afford to go to Paris. I’m so excited about this opportunity. I’m glad I sent in the application right away, before anyone could talk me out of it – like Clark. Clark. (sighs) I will miss him. I’ll have to tell him about this; but it’s so hard to see him right now, after that kiss – the memory of that kiss just keeps coming to the surface…. Stop it, Lana! You are not going to shed more tears over Clark. (sighs again) I have to tell him. As soon as I can get up the nerve, and keep my composure in front of him, I’ll ask him to come and see me at the Talon. Maybe if there are lots of people around, it won’t be so hard to stay composed. I certainly don’t want to let him see me cry about leaving him. I’ll wait a few days, and try to avoid him in the meantime.

[End of LEGACY. Tomorrow: TRUTH]

Post your thoughts & comments, please. Thanks to all those who posted today. I'm glad you like it. :)

[4EverSmallville]

Great update! I love this insight into their feelings :). Will I be too naive to hope that we get three updates daily? :lol:

[SVsleuth]

Probably. I stayed up til 3 a.m. writing alot last night, but that can't be a daily routine. I have one ready for tomorrow, so far. Hope to have time to get a second one ready. I guess there's a chance there'll be three. Maybe. ;)

[SmallvilleMan]

I like it.

[SVsleuth]

Truth - Part 1

A few days later.

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Chloe is acting kind of strange today; or, rather, everyone who is talking to Chloe seems to be acting really strange, telling her things they would never normally say. I wonder what’s going on. I think something “Wall-of-Weirdish” is happening to her. But how can I find out? Maybe Lana knows something. She lives with Chloe; maybe she can give me a clue.

But, I’ve been steering clear of Lana for these last few days. It’s just so hard to see her, and not try to convince her to come back to me. The memory of that kiss………(sighs). She melts me. But I can’t try again, after she pushed me away again. I just couldn’t bear it if she rejects me again. It hurts too much….. She said this time she might leave. I wonder what she meant. I wonder if she was serious. Could she be thinking of leaving Smallville? Moving to Metropolis? I hope not.

Okay, Clark, stop thinking about Lana. It’s Chloe you’re trying to help right now.
I have to make myself go see Lana. It’s the only way I can think of to maybe help Chloe. I hope Lana won’t be angry with me….. just GO, Clark. Just, stop writing, get yourself up, and GO!

-----

Talon. Day. Lana stands at the bar reading a brochure entitled "Paris School of the Arts." Clark enters behind her.

Clark: Lana. (Lana closes the brochure and puts it away so that Clark won’t see it.) I hope I'm not interrupting.

Lana: No, I'm just finishing up with the morning rush. I haven't seen you around the last few days.

Lana takes an empty tray to a table and starts clearing the table of coffee cups.

Clark: I figured after our last conversation, you could use some space.

Lana: Well, I was thinking the same thing, but we don't seem to be very good at that.

Clark: (Making a joke.) It's hard to make yourself scarce in Smallville.

Giving Clark an awkward smile, Lana walks back to the bar. They go on to discuss Chloe and the missing LuthorCorp security card Lana had heard about. Clark ponders this information in light of the odd behavior Chloe had displayed with Mrs. Taylor, Pete, and Martha earlier in the day.

-----

The next day, when Chloe comes to the Talon, she talks to Lana. Lana is affected by Chloe’s new “ability” to get people to tell her the truth.

Lana: I applied to the Paris School of the Arts. They have a full-time high school program and if I get accepted, I start in the summer. (Lana seems confused about why she is revealing so much.)

Chloe: Wow. I guess I'm not in the loop. When did you decide this?

Lana: I've been thinking about it for a while now. Everyone has their families, you know, and, um, I'm not sure where I fit in.

Chloe: But I always thought that we were your family.

Lana: Come on, Chloe. I know what you and everyone else thinks of me, that I'm driven and self-involved. I just can't wait to get out of here and go somewhere where people don't judge me.

Chloe: (Feeling the sting of Lana's words.) I never said anything like that.

Lana: You never had to.

Chloe: Why haven't you ever talked to me about this?

Lana: (Quietly.) Because I couldn't trust you.

Chloe looks at Lana, unhappily, then leaves the Talon. Lana is confused by what just happened.

-----
LANA’s JOURNAL

Why the hell did I tell Chloe about the Paris School of the Arts? What’s wrong with me? I wanted to be sure to tell Clark myself. I certainly don’t want him to find out from Chloe. I really don’t want to hurt him any more than I can help. I can’t put it off any longer. I guess I’d better call him and ask him to come see me here ASAP. I should have told him this morning, when he was here. Why didn’t I? I just chickened out. When I saw him come in after not seeing him for several days, my heart just did a flip-flop, and I couldn’t do it. This is so hard to do. I really do love him….
Come on, Lana, just pick up the phone and leave him a message. You have to do it, before Chloe reveals your secret. You can’t chicken out this time.

[4EverSmallville]

Great update :D.

[SVsleuth]

If a few more people post, I have more updates ready... ;)
Anyone want more?

[SmallvilleMan]

i do

[binkys711]

WOW!!!THIS IS A REALLY COOL IDEA!!! I AM LIKING IT!!!PPMS!!!

[NYC300Z]

Been real busy so I just started reading this today....the Journals is a great idea! Can't wait to read more!

[SVsleuth]

Truth - Part 2

Clark spends the day solving the Chloe mystery. He eventually saves her and gets her back to normal. He gets a phone message from Lana and heads off to the Talon.

Lana comes down the stairs of the Talon holding some books in her hands. Clark is entering.

Lana: Clark. Thanks for coming by.

Clark: Is everything okay? I haven't gotten many phone messages from you lately.

Lana puts her books down on the bar and picks up a brochure for the Paris school.

Lana: (Nervous) Yeah, um... I've been wanting to show you this.

Clark: (Takes the brochure.) Paris? (Clark is surprised.)

Lana: I sent in my application last week.

Clark: I don't understand.

Lana: I'm leaving.

Clark: (Shocked, as what she said sinks in.) Lana, if this is because of me--

Lana: No. No. Um, it's because of everything. I'm beginning to feel like I need a fresh start.

Clark: Well, what about your life here? What about all your friends?

Lana: Well, maybe I'll wind up in Smallville eventually, but I don't think I can be happy wondering if there's something else out there.

Clark is having a hard time finding words to express his feelings.

Clark: Why didn't you tell me sooner?

Lana: Because I... I didn't want anyone to talk me out of it. And the truth is, I knew you were the only person that could.

Clark looks at her for a long time. She looks away awkwardly.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

I can’t believe it’s true. Lana’s going to leave. When she said she “might” leave, I thought maybe she was considering moving to Metropolis, back with Nell. But… PARIS? How could she go so far? Why is she doing this? Is it all because of me – because I’ve pushed her away so many times – because I haven’t told her the truth? Lana said it’s not because of me – but, I think it is my fault. I think I’ve wounded Lana’s heart so badly that she just can’t stand to be near me. I know my heart aches every time I see her. I want so much to be with her, to hold her close to me, to caress her beautiful face, to kiss her moist, tender lips. I think she feels the same thing. But, I’ve hurt her so much that she just can’t risk it again. I guess when a heart has been through something like that, the scars don’t magically disappear. Not hers. Not mine. Maybe time and distance will help both of us to heal our wounded hearts. Maybe then we can make a fresh start – someday.

2nd entry, later, same day

I never wanted to hurt Lana. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I always wanted to protect her, to love her, to bring her happiness. Lana, I hope you know, somewhere in your heart, how deeply I do love you. I hope you know how much I wish I could take away everything I’ve ever done that has caused you pain and heartache. I’ll miss you, Lana – so much. But, because I truly love you, I really want you to be happy; so, I’ll let you go, for now, and hope that someday you’ll come back to me. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, never to cause you pain. Please know that, Lana. Please forgive me for hurting you so much. How I wish I could take all your pain away. But I can’t. I don’t know how. I love you, Lana. Good-bye, for now, love of my life.

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL

I did it. I finally did it. I told Clark I am leaving and planning to go to Paris.…

He looked so hurt – I could see it in his eyes. I couldn’t admit to him that a big part of the reason I need to go is to get away from him, so that my heart will not have to constantly be reminded of the pain he’s caused there. But, I think he knows. I saw the hurt, the pain in his eyes when I told him – I can’t forget the image of his face at that moment, seared into my mind. I wanted to take his pain away; I wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him I’ll stay with him. But I can’t risk it. I’m so sorry, Clark. I never ever wanted to hurt you. I love you. I hope somewhere in your heart you know that.

Clark asked me why I never told him sooner. I said it was because I didn’t want anyone to talk me out of it. And I told him that it was because I know he is the only one who can. The full truth is that, even now, I know that only Clark can talk me out of it. If he would come to me and tell me everything he’s been keeping back from me – if he would do that, I think I would be able to take a chance on it, and risk anything to keep it. The complete truth is – I do want him to talk me out of it. I don’t really want to be across the world from you, Clark. I want to be in your arms, resting my head upon your chest, looking into your beautiful blue eyes. And what about “making a difference” in the world? I don’t know. But I doubt that going to art school in Paris will make much of an impact on the world.

I hope Clark could read between the lines. I hope he heard what I didn’t say, and decides to open up to me, and do the only thing that can keep me from going away. Maybe the reality of my plans to go will urge him to finally let me into his mind and heart, so we can both be truly happy. I hope so. I love you, Clark. I always will.

-----

Next day

CLARK’s JOURNAL

When I went away to Metropolis, I was running away from the pain – the unbearable pain I felt every time I saw how much pain and suffering I brought to my parents, to Lana, to Pete – to everyone I care about. I couldn’t deal with that. I tried to run away from reality. I tried to shut it all out and pretend none of it had ever happened. I tried to become a different person entirely, hoping the pain would be shut out. But it wasn’t. Not really. It was always there. It still is.

Lana, I hope you are not doing the same thing I did – trying to run away from your pain. Because, I can tell you, the pain will follow you everywhere you try to run. The pain is in your heart, and you always bring it with you. Lana, I hope you really are going for the reasons you said: to find your place in the world, develop your talents, and try to make a difference. If that is what you’re doing, I can accept it. It hurts, but I can accept it. I want you to be happy, to find your place, to know who you want to be. I truly want that for you. I hope, Lana, that you are running toward something wonderful, and not just running away from something painful. I love you.

I... (Sigh)… I wish I were brave enough to send these letters to Lana. But I’m not. I can’t.

End of TRUTH. Next is MEMORIA

Still like it? I’ll post more when enough people reply.

[SmallvilleMan]

If he did have a journal it would be exactly like that, update more.

[ClarksGirl21]

I think this is really cool. You are a great writer , and I am very interested in hearing more!

[Ketchup]

Im loving it so far, but I still cant figure out if ur simply planning on describing the feelings Clark and Lana had during the episodes, or to change the storyline later on? Perhaps make Lana stay in Smallville? Either way, cant wait to read more =)

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by Ketchup
Im loving it so far, but I still cant figure out if ur simply planning on describing the feelings Clark and Lana had during the episodes, or to change the storyline later on? Perhaps make Lana stay in Smallville? Either way, cant wait to read more =)

For now, I'm just trying to get inside their hearts & minds, to fill in the gaps left between episodes, etc. But I am toying with the idea of eventually moving away from what the show did. We'll see.

[SmallvilleMan]

Yeah, i hate knowing what's going to happen, especially when its sad:(

[ajfinn]

OHHHH, just reading those scenes, when she told him in the Talon, etc. Man, it brings back PAIN!!! Pain, I tell you! Please, fix the errors of the writers, and attone for their sins. Paris was SO bad for Lana.

And while you're at it, rewrite season 4, or I'll have to do it, and I'm kinda involved with writing another little story right now. So, please . . . :D

[SmallvilleMan]

Another story? Sweet:cool:

[NYC300Z]

Originally posted by SmallvilleMan
Yeah, i hate knowing what's going to happen, especially when its sad:(

Yes Yes very true. Maybe instead of chickening out because of what happned to Pete at the end of season 3 he could go through with that dinner and see what happens? Only a suggestion.

[SVsleuth]

Hang in there, guys. Eventually, we'll get Clark & Lana together. But I don't think I can erase Season 4. Too many of the other story arcs would fall by the wayside & I don't have time to re-write everything. As for Clark "chickening out" as NYC300Z put it, I don't see it that way. He is sacrificing his own happiness for her safety, because he truly does love her. Maybe today's journals will throw some light on that. Enjoy. :)

MEMORIA

Clark is shoveling hay in the barn with a pitchfork. Lana comes in.

Lana: Hope I'm not interrupting. Chloe told me you were farm-bound all week.

(Clark stops working. He seems a bit surprised to see her.)

Clark: Yeah, my dad's cardiologist sent him to Metropolis for more tests, so I'm pulling double duty.

Lana: I thought he was getting better.

Clark: He is. (Looking directly into her eyes) But, your heart's been through something like that, the scars don't magically disappear.

Lana: (Obviously affected by Clark's choice of words.) No. No, I guess they don't.

Clark: But I'm sure you didn't come all this way just to admire my stall-mucking abilities. (He grins.)

Clark turns away from Lana and walks to the wall to hang up the pitchfork.

Lana: I think there's something wrong with Lex. I was dropping off the Talon payroll, and I found him out on the ledge, screaming for someone named Julian.

Clark pauses.

Lana: What is it, Clark?

Clark: (Turning toward Lana.) Julian was the name of Lex's baby brother. He died of SIDS when Lex was a kid. Did he give you any kind of explanation?

Lana: (Upset.) No. He shrugged it off as a bad dream.

Clark: The last time Lex had a breakdown, I found him over there (Clark points to the side of the barn), singing a lullaby to a blanket he thought was Julian.

Lana: Well, maybe he's had a relapse.

Clark: Whatever it is, I think you better stay clear for a while.

Lana: Oh, Clark, he's my friend.

Clark: Lana, the last time Lex went off the deep end, you got trampled by a horse.

Lana: Lex didn't mean to hurt me.

Clark: (Firmly & with conviction) But he did. And I promised myself I wouldn't let that happen again.
(Lana doesn't respond, looking worriedly into Clark's eyes.) I'll talk to him.

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL

I’m worried about Lex. I’ve come to trust him as a brother, a confidant. Is he having another breakdown? Clark said I should stay away from Lex for awhile, just in case. That’s going to be hard to do. Lex is the one friend who is helping me find my place in the world, and work through things. But Clark seemed genuinely concerned for my safety. He said he had promised himself he would never let me be put in danger again. When Clark said that, he seemed so strong, so determined. I could see and feel his strength of character, and his resolve to protect me from harm. He’s always said that the reason he’s pushed me away was to protect me from harm. I could see in his face, in his posture, how deep his resolve is to protect me. Why? Is it because he truly loves me?...

I just don’t get how someone so devoted to protecting me from harm could have ended up hurting me more than anyone else ever has. More than Lex hurt me when he caused the horse to trample me. I quickly came to Lex’s defense when that came up, saying, “Lex didn’t mean to hurt me.” But as I said it, a voice in my heart echoed, “Clark never meant to hurt you either, Lana.” Why can I so easily forgive Lex and move beyond the pain he caused me, but not do the same with Clark? Is it because the hurt was to my heart, rather than my body?

“When your heart’s been through something like that, the scars don’t magically disappear.” Clark’s words about his dad seemed to reach deep into my heart with their truth. I got the feeling he was thinking not only about his dad, but about us, our two wounded hearts. I guess the scars don’t magically disappear. I was kind of hoping that if Clark would open up to me now, that everything would be okay, that the pain would magically go away, and I could stay with him after all. But maybe that’s not even possible. Maybe, even if he tells me everything, the pain will remain, to keep us apart. How I wish things could be different.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

It sounds like Lex may be having another breakdown. I’m concerned. But I’m even more concerned about Lana. She hangs out with Lex a lot more now that she and I have such a strained relationship. She was sure quick to come to his defense, saying that Lex never meant to hurt her. She seemed more than willing to forgive him for the pain he put her through. Doesn’t she realize that I never meant to hurt her either? Could she possibly forgive me for all the pain I’ve caused her, and move beyond it? I hope she can. I wish I could convince her that this time will be different. Maybe I should tell her everything. But my fear for her safety is so great. I promised myself I would never again put Lana in danger. I have to protect her. I always will.

[ajfinn]

Another great interpretation of what they were feeling. :) Still, so sad to me though.

[C.A.chick]

please update!!!!!!!!!this is good, but sad... i hope you'll change it to Clana, because the whole lana going to paris thing was very bad on the episode writer's part.

[SVsleuth]

If I update again today, it will be much later tonight. I've given you all the updates I have ready so far. I'm thinking about ways to give y'all a "happy Clana fix" & still go on with the journals the way I had planned. When I figure it out, I'll let you guys know.

[Daniel.Hauser]

Hey there!

IMO there's no way for a "happy Clana" quickfix while continuing a sort of 'therapeutical' separation between those two. But I also think that it's not necessary because every step towards each other would hurt the way they were going. Admittedly I didn't like the SV's version of the events with Lana escaping to Paris but you do a more than great job of reminiscing and building two private journals from next to nothing.

I hope you post again soon :)

[NYC300Z]

Well I'll be around late tonight so i'll be checking for ur update!

[SVsleuth]

I haven't forgotten about you guys. I still haven't written the journals for Talisman & Forsaken, yet. But that's because I've been busy working on a really long Clana scene for you guys. I'll post it after Talisman & Forsken's journals are posted. Stay tuned. I think you'll really like it. ;)

[dreammaster]

awesome chapter

[binkys711]

man oh man! you have resurfaced the pains of clana:( but i await more anyways!!! i like reading what they might have felt at the time:)(season 3 was just heart-breaking for us clana fans:()but...

YAY!!! I CAN'T WAIT 'TILL YOUR NEXT UPDATE!!! thanxz for this update!!!:D;)

[peaches4cream]

clark wow that is so true but have u ever hear let love live life the two go hand in hand so just tell her

get going

[SVsleuth]

TALISMAN

There are no Lana/Clark scenes in Talisman, but we get more insight into Lana from her interactions with Chloe & Lex in this episode. So we will explore mostly Lana’s journals, one of Clark’s, & take a peek into Lex’s mind as well.


Lana reads a letter from the Paris School of the Arts at the Talon. She is standing behind the bar and Chloe stands across from her. They both seem excited. Lana reads the letter, and her smile fades.

Chloe: You didn't get in?

Lana: No, um, no, I got accepted. They turned down my financial aid, which means I can't go.

Upset, Lana walks to the cash register and opens it, putting the letter under the tray. Chloe walks around to Lana's side of the bar.

Chloe: Well, wait a minute. Before you commit yourself to pouring lattes in the Sunflower State, why don't you talk to Lex?

Lana: Chloe, I'm not asking Lex for a loan.

Chloe: Why not? You know he would happily lend it to you.

Lana: But I wanted to do this on my own.

Chloe: Well, selfishly, I would be glad if you decided to stay. But if Lex were in your shoes, do you honestly think that he would let one bump in the road deter him from pursuing his dreams? Call him.

Lana considers it.

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL

I got a response from the Paris School of the Arts today. I was accepted, but my financial aid was turned down. So, I guess I can’t go to Paris. Chloe thinks I should ask Lex for a loan; but I don’t want to do that. I wanted to do this on my own. Maybe I could ask him to buy out my shares of the Talon. That might give me enough cash to still go to Paris, and the Talon would still survive as well.

I was surprised at myself, at how disappointed I felt when it seemed I couldn’t go to Paris. I didn’t realize how much I really do want to go. I always have had a desire to travel and to study art, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. Yeah, a part of me is really excited about the chance to do this, to get away from Smallville and explore what is out there in the big, wide world. And another part of me just wants to go somewhere where I don’t have to try so hard at doing the avoidance dance with Clark Kent. It’s always awkward to see him. My heart races at the sight of him, but then, the doubts and fear crop up. Can I ever get beyond this? Maybe going to Paris is just what I need. I think I will talk to Lex about buying me out.

-----

The next night. Inside Lex’s mansion, Lana talks to Lex angrily.

Lana: You can't just sell the Talon without consulting me.

Lex: I thought that's what you wanted so you could afford to go to Paris.

Lana: No, I asked you to buy me out of my share. I didn't ask you to sell the building.

Lex: Either way you get the money.

Lana: I put my heart and soul into that place, Lex. My friends hang out there. It's a sanctuary for them. I do not want it turned into a Kinko's!

Lex:Lana, this may come as a shock to you, but the Talon's not exactly a cash cow. And personally, I have no interest in the coffee business. It's much more profitable to sell the building.

Lana: If the Talon is such a terrible investment, then why did you keep it this long?

Lex: I thought that was obvious. I did it for you. I spend so much time swimming with Wall Street sharks and boardroom barracudas, that it's been nice to come up for air every so often with someone as honest and pure-hearted as you. In some ways, you're the best partner I've ever had.

Lana: (Touched.) Thank you, Lex.

Lex: But you're leaving, and you're irreplaceable. So why hang on to something that's over?

Lex starts to walk away down the hall.

Lex: Unless, of course, this is really about you having second thoughts.

Lana: What? No. I--

Lex: Because you've got to ask yourself, Lana. Who are you? Are you a small town girl content to spend her days gossiping in a coffee shop with her friends? Or are you the girl who goes to Paris?

Lana looks at Lex thoughtfully. Lex walks away.

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL

“…why hang on to something that's over?” Lex’s words keep playing in my mind like a broken record. Maybe my life here in Smallville is over. What I did with the Talon was my attempt to hang onto a part of my parents. But they’re gone. They’re never coming back. The Talon won’t fill the void left in my soul when they died. It’s time to stop fantasizing about what might have been if the meteor shower had never happened. It’s time to let go of the past.

“…why hang on to something that's over?” These words also brought Clark to mind. Is everything really over with Clark? Am I trying to hang onto something that is long gone, wishing for what could have been? Maybe I do need to move on. It’s time to let go of the past.

“Who are you?” Lex asked. “Are you a small town girl content to spend her days gossiping in a coffee shop with her friends? Or are you the girl who goes to Paris?”

The words to the song playing on her CD player suddenly penetrated into Lana’s consciousness:

… This is your life, are you who you want to be?
this is your life, are you who you want to be?
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be …

This is my life. Who do I want to be? I don’t want to spend my life pouring coffee. That’s no way to make a difference. That’s no way to find adventure either. No, I have an adventurous spirit. It’s time for me to leave Smallville and explore the world. I will let go of the past.

-----

Later, Lana meets with Lex at the Talon. Nearing the end of their conversation.

Lana: I don't think Chloe was ever really interested in running the place anyway. I think she was just having some trouble letting go of the past. But, um, I don't want anything pulling me back to Smallville. I thought about what you said, Lex, about who I am, and, um, I’ve decided:

I'm the girl who goes to Paris.

Lana walks away to take a customer's order. Lex remains thoughtful at the bar.

-------

A PEEK INTO LEX’s THOUGHTS

It’s working. Maybe too well. I always thought that Lana was my doorway to the truth about Clark. I always thought that if I could get her to trust me, that someday it would work to my advantage. Only, I never counted on the fact that Clark would continue to be so tight-lipped with Lana. Well maybe her determination to leave will be just the catalyst needed to force him to confide in her. Maybe he’ll risk it now, to try to keep her from going. I’ll have to give him a nudge in that direction, but I think he’ll bite. And Lana trusts me now. I’m sure I can get her to open up to me. This is going very well, indeed.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

This whole thing with Namaan is scary. Am I really Namaan? Is Lionel my greatest enemy? Or could it really be Lex? The legend says the friend will become the enemy. I’ve never been friends with Lionel. But the blade disintegrated when both of them touched it. If I’m going to believe this legend, then I guess I have to consider the possibility that it could be Lex. Is this my destiny? Can destiny be changed? Who am I, anyway? Namaan? Kal-El? Or Clark Kent? I feel like I have three different identities.

The words to the song playing on his radio suddenly penetrated into Clark’s consciousness:

… This is your life, are you who you want to be?
this is your life, are you who you want to be?
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be …

This is my life. Who do I want to be? Dr. Swann and my dad keep telling me that I have to choose my own destiny. Lana’s going to Paris in search of hers. And me? I really don’t know at all. I guess I need to do a lot more soul searching to figure it out.

-----
Credit: ”This is your Life”, by Switchfoot, was the song Lana & Clark both heard. You can hear it at the very end of the Smallville episode BLANK, episode 4:19.

Please post your comments. I'll try to post Forsaken tomorrow, followed by a special CLANA scene. ;) Hope you're enjoying it.

[NYC300Z]

Yes the journals give us a very good view into what should have been going through their heads. Lex's was very dark too. PPMS!

[binkys711]

YAY!!!AWESOME UPDATE!!!CAN'T WAIT 'TILL THE NEXT!!!PPMS!!!can't wait for the clana scene either:D;)

[C.A.chick]

its great, i love it!!!!!

[4EverSmallville]

This is beautifully written :). All of the things that they haven't said to each other we can see clearly. And I honestly believe that if either of them kept journals during this time, they'd read away just like this. Great job!

[SVsleuth]

Here's the first part of Forsaken. Enjoy.

FORSAKEN - Part 1

Lana and Lex sit next to each other on the couch next to the fireplace in Lex's study. Lana picks up from the coffee table one of two books on Paris that Lex has given her as going away presents.

Lana: (Flipping through the pages with a smile.) Thanks. Let's see how far two semesters of French gets me. (She laughs.)

Lex: Just remember, a smile goes a long way. Even in Paris. And to smooth the transition...

Lex picks up an airplane ticket and shows it to Lana.

Lana: Lex, I already have a ticket.

Lex: I know. I just got you a little upgrade. (Lana takes the ticket.) It's open-ended for whenever you're ready to say goodbye to Smallville.

Lana: This is first class. I can't accept this.

Lex: You have to. It's a gift. Trust me, this is gonna be a year you'll never forget.

Clark enters and is caught off guard seeing Lana.

Lex: Clark.

Clark: I didn't mean to interrupt. (To Lana, apologetically) I didn't know you were here.

Lana: Um, no, Lex was just giving me some last-minute travel tips.

Clark: When is the big day?

Lana: Saturday.

Clark seems shocked that it is so soon. He and Lana look at each other wistfully. Lex watches Clark’s reaction.

Lana: I-I should probably go. (She picks up her books. To Lex.) Thanks.

As Lana leaves the room, Clark’s eyes follow her out, regretfully.

Lex: Clark, you need to let her go.

Clark: I suppose I don't have much of a choice.

Lex: She's the one who wanted to leave. (Lex stands up and walks toward Clark, ready to give the “nudge” he’d been planning.) And if there's anybody who set that ball in motion, it's you. Clark, all Lana's ever wanted is for you to be honest with her. If you're not willing to step up, you need to move aside and let her get on with her life.

Clark doesn't respond.
-----
CLARK’s JOURNAL

this is your life, are you who you want to be?
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be …

I just can’t get those lyrics out of my head. Is my life everything I dreamed it would be? No. Not without Lana. I may not know if I’m Namaan, Kal-El or Clark Kent, but I do know that my life will never be what I dreamed it would be without Lana. Lex seems to think that I’m the real reason Lana is going to Paris. He said that all Lana's ever wanted is for me to be honest with her. I know that’s true. Lex said if I’m not willing to step up and be honest with her, then I should move aside and let her get on with her life. That’s what I thought I was prepared to do – move aside and let her go, hoping that someday she’d come back to me. But what if I give it a shot? What if I just tell Lana the truth, tell her everything. Then, she can decide for herself if she wants to stay, or still go to Paris. But at least I’ll have given it my best shot. Then again – will I be putting too much of a burden on her by telling her my secret? I know it can’t be easy for Pete. I’m not sure if I should do it or not.

-----

Pete and Clark are shooting baskets at the Kent Farm. Pete just told Clark about his parents’ divorce.

Clark: So what are you gonna do?

Pete: (Grabbing the ball back from Clark with a smile.) I didn't go through three years of high school just to miss out on senior year.

Pete makes another shot.

Clark: I wish Lana felt that way.

Pete: I'm gonna say this once, and then it falls into the "None of My Business" category. The whole yo-yo thing with you and Lana has gotta stop.

Pete passes the ball to Clark.

Clark: You sound like Lex. He thinks I'm the reason Lana's leaving.

Pete: Well, I hate to agree with Uncle Fester, but I don't think Lana's going to Paris just to see the Mona Lisa.

Clark: (Serious.) Do you ever wish I never told you about me?

Pete knocks the ball out of Clark's hands and tosses it from hand to hand.

Pete: It's rough at times, covering with Chloe and everybody, but the truth is, no one's ever put that much trust in me before.

Clark becomes thoughtful, and Pete realizes what Clark is thinking.

Pete: You're not thinking about coming clean with Lana, are you?

Clark: It might be the only way to stop her from getting on that plane.

-----

Next day, at school

Lana is standing at her open locker between classes. A newspaper clipping is taped to the inside of her locker titled "Talon Theater Re-Opens as a Coffee Shop". Lana takes the article off the door and looks at it sadly. Clark enters the hallway and watches Lana at her locker nervously. He takes a deep breath and walks toward her.

Clark: Looks like you could use a garage sale.

Lana: Yeah, you'd think I was...

Clark: Moving halfway around the world? You know, I think that's pretty brave.

Lana looks into her locker with a strange expression.

Clark: Did you lose something?

Lana: Yeah, my mom's bracelet.

Lana kneels down on the floor to look in the bottom of the locker. Clark kneels down next to her.

Clark: Lana, I know you're busy with the move and everything, but I was wondering if you'd want to have dinner with me -- tonight.

Lana: (Standing up.) I don't know if that's such a great idea, Clark.

Clark stands up.

Clark:(Not willing to give up that easily.) There's something I should've told you. I should've told you a long time ago.

Lana: Is everything okay?

Clark: I hope it will be.

Lana looks apprehensively into Clark's eyes. He raises his eyebrows awaiting her answer.

Lana: (With a sigh.) Yeah, of course. Of course I'll be there.

Lana smiles at Clark, and he smiles back. Then he walks away. When he's gone, Lana looks uneasy.

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL

How did I get myself into this? How could I agree to have dinner with Clark, right before I’m supposed to leave. What if he tries to talk me out of going? What is it that he wants to tell me? Could he finally be planning to tell me everything he has held back from me? What if he does? Should it make a difference? I mean, he’s not the only reason I am going to Paris. I have always wanted to travel, and I am excited about the art school. And I don’t want to spend my life pouring coffee. What if he makes it like a really romantic dinner? Will I cave in to my emotions, to my desire to be with him? Every time I think I’ve decided for sure what I want in life, Clark appears out of nowhere, and I become just as confused as I’ve ever been. I guess I just can’t think rationally when it comes to Clark Kent. I have to admit, I am kind of looking forward to spending an evening alone with him again. Why does he have such an effect on me?

Please post comments. When enough people respond, I'll post Part 2, then the promised CLANA scene. ;)

[4EverSmallville]

Great update - can't wait for the promised Clana scene. Is it one you've done yourself?

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by 4EverSmallville
Great update - can't wait for the promised Clana scene. Is it one you've done yourself?

Yes, it's a really looooong one I wrote last night, but have to type it still. ;)

[4EverSmallville]

Well, I can't wait to see it :).

[binkys711]

yay!!!awesome update!!!can't wait 'till the clana scene!!!ppms!!!

[peaches4cream]

geat up date

[NYC300Z]

ok cool can't wait for ur stuff! lol that sounded a bit odd... PPMS!!

[SmallvilleMan]

"But, your heart's been through something like that, the scars don't magically disappear." The best thing about seeing something twice is you catch things you didn't before. I never caught the deeper meaning of that the first time i heard it. And it's so true what that quote says.

[SVsleuth]

I finally finished FORSAKEN. Enjoy!

FORSAKEN - Part 2

Martha takes several loaves of bread out of the oven in the Kent kitchen. She sets them down on the counter as Clark enters with a grocery bag.

Martha: Hi.

Clark: Hey, Mom.

Clark puts the bag down on the counter and starts taking food out of it.

Martha: Ooh. Does this mean I'm off the hook for dinner?

Clark: I invited Lana over.

Martha: (Sympathetically.) It must be hard to say goodbye.

Clark: (Brightly.) Well, if this works, I won't have to.

Clark walks to the fridge to put the food away.

Martha: Clark, do you think it's fair to keep doing this to her?

Clark: No. That's why I've decided to tell her tonight.

Martha: (Confused.) Tell her?

Clark: Everything.

Martha walks around the counter toward Clark.

Martha: Clark. Asking someone to keep your secret is a big responsibility. You know, look at Pete. It hasn't been easy for him.

Clark: I know. Pete has had some close calls. But I'm still glad I told him, and so is he. It's made us better friends.

Martha: Are you sure Lana's ready?

Clark: She keeps asking me to be honest. I owe her the chance to decide for herself.

Martha takes Clark's hand.

Martha: I guess it's not fair to raise you as one of us and then try to keep you from experiencing one of the best parts of life.

Clark: So you're okay with this?

Martha: I trust you to make your own decision.

Clark smiles. Martha nods at him a little nervously.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Well, this is it. I’ve decided to tell Lana tonight, and let the chips fall where they may. I hope I don’t chicken out. No. I won’t. Remember what Lana once said,”It depends on how determined you are.” Well, I’m verydetermined to go through with this. Nothing can change my mind now. Lana should be here soon. I’m getting so nervous. I know she’ll be beautiful. (Sigh.) Why does she have such an effect on me?

-----

Night

Clark sits in a chair next to his telescope in the loft. He is dressed nicely for his dinner with Lana, but Lana isn't there. Clark looks down at the floor unhappily. Jonathan enters and knocks on the railing to announce his presence. Clark looks at him.

Jonathan: Your mother told me you were up here.

Clark: Don't worry, Dad. Lana stood me up. The secret's still safe.

Jonathan: You know, there could be a hundred different reasons why Lana didn't show up here tonight. None of them might have anything to do with you.

Clark: I've given Lana so many reasons not to trust me. But I'm not gonna give up.

Jonathan: There's no way I can talk you out of this, right?

Clark looks up at his father determinedly. Jonathan sits down in the chair across from Clark.

Jonathan: Clark, sometimes a person can hold on too tight for too long.

Clark: Dad, I've loved Lana since the first time I saw her. You know that. That's not gonna change.

Jonathan: I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about me. You see, a father is supposed to help his son build a life, not try to hold him back from one.

Clark: But you still think it's a bad idea.

Jonathan: Yeah. I do. But honestly, Clark, I don't trust my instincts the way I used to. I just hope you can trust yours.

-----

FORSAKEN - Part 3

Next Morning

CLARK’s JOURNAL

I wonder what happened to Lana last night. It’s not like her to just not show. I hope she’s not in trouble. I’m beginning to get worried. I’m going to find her today, if it takes me all day. There’s still time to talk to her before she leaves. I know it’s the right thing to do.

Clark has spent the day trying to figure out what happened to Lana. She has been kidnapped by Emily.

Clark & Chloe are in the torch office, trying to figure out what happened.

Chloe: The thing I don't get is if Emily could've escaped at any time, why did she wait till now for the sudden encore appearance?

Clark: Maybe she found out she was gonna lose Lana forever.

Chloe: Then the question is, what would you do to keep someone from leaving?

Clark thinks about it.

Clark: I'd try to make things go back to the way they were before.

-----

CLARK’s THOUGHTS at this moment. (He doesn’t have time to write in his journal)

Yep, that’s what I’m doing to try to keep her from leaving: trying to make things go back to the way they were before – before I went to Metropolis. I hope it works.

-----

At the Dinsmore barn, where Emily has confined Lana to a glass room.

Emily walks away from the bed in the glass room. Lana is tied to the bed.

Emily: Goodbye, Lana.

Lana: Emily, please don't do this!

Emily leaves the room and closes the door.

Lana: Emily, please!

Outside the glass is a large tank of toxic gas. A pipe connected to the tank has been shoved through the vent into the room. Emily turns a valve, causing gas to pour through the vent. Lana starts to choke.

Outside the barn, Clark super speeds into the field. He looks around with his X-ray vision and sees Lana tied to the bed and the gas tank outside the glass. He super speeds into the barn and breaks right through one of the glass panes. Lana has lost consciousness on the bed.

Clark goes over to the pipe and bends it, stopping the gas flow. Emily watches him coldly. Clark runs back to the bed, unties Lana, and lifts her up. Emily super speeds away.

Clark lays Lana down on the ground outside the barn, resting her head against a bale of hay.

Clark: Lana.

Lana coughs and regains consciousness.

Lana: (Weakly.) Clark.

Lana passes out again. Clark looks around and sees Emily watching him from inside the barn. She super speeds through the horse stalls and Clark super speeds after her. He chases her out of the barn and down the dirt road toward a large water tank.

Clark shoots small bolts of heat at the water tank's legs, causing it to topple over. The water pours out at Emily. She is able to continue running against the force of the water for only a moment. Then she falls backwards onto the ground unconscious. Clark goes to Emily and kneels down next to her. He sees that she is breathing.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

That was too close for comfort. If I had been a few moments later, Lana would be… dead. And I never would have had the chance to tell her my secret. She said she’d come by to talk after she gets some rest and feels better. I hope it’s tonight. I’m really eager to tell her everything now. I really want her to know me.

-----

Pete got beat up by an FBI agent last night. He came to see Clark and just told him all about it and was about to leave.

Clark: Pete. (Pete stops.) Why are you talking like that?

Pete: I'm moving to Wichita with my mom.

Clark: No, Pete. I thought that... What about senior year? (Pete doesn't answer.) Pete -- Pete, you can't do this because of me.

Pete: I know that I told you keeping your secret wasn't hard. But I lied. I walk around every day afraid that I'm gonna slip up.

Clark:(Shocked.) Well, why didn't you tell me sooner?

Pete: Because you needed a friend. And so did I.

Clark: (Desperate to change Pete's mind.) You don't have to move away. You don't have to change your whole life. There's got to be a way. No one even has to know we're friends.

Pete: There's a lot of things that I can handle. But I could never live with myself if I betrayed you.

Clark: Pete...

Pete starts to cry.

Pete: I'll see you around, Clark.

Pete hugs Clark. Clark's face is stunned. When Pete pulls out of the hug, he looks into Clark's eyes and pats him on the shoulder. Then he turns away and walks to his car. Clark remains where he is as Pete gets in his car and drives away for the last time.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

I can’t believe that Pete is leaving, missing out on senior year – and it’s all my fault. I ruined his life by telling him my secret. He said he walks around every day hoping he doesn’t slip up. I never realized how much of a burden it has been for him to keep my secret. He’d be better off if I had never told him.

And what about Lana? Can I put that same burden on her? Will I ruin her life, too, by telling her the truth about me? I would never want to do that to her. I don’t know what to do. I want to tell her. But should I?. I guess I’ll just have to trust my instincts when the moment comes.

--------

Official ending of this episode, as it actually happened on Smallville

Clark is in the loft watching the sun go down. Lana enters.

Lana: Hi.

Clark: Lana.

Lana: I heard that Emily disappeared from Belle Reve as soon as she was admitted.

Clark: Yeah, even under heavy sedation.

Lana: Do you think she's going to come back?

Clark: No. I think Lionel Luthor will make sure of that. (Lana lowers her eyes.) You okay?

Lana: Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Lana looks over at the coffee table with two place settings from the dinner she missed with Clark last night.

Lana: I'm just sorry that I ruined dinner.

Clark: That's okay. I'm sure I've racked up more than a few IOUs.

Lana: Well, I was really looking forward to it.

Clark: (Smiling.) So was I.

Lana: So, um, there's something that you wanted to tell me. What is it?

Clark steps very close to Lana and looks deeply into her eyes.

Clark: I just wanted to tell you...

A long pause as they look into each other's eyes. Lana seems nervous. Finally, Clark leans down and kisses Lana tenderly, lingeringly, on the cheek. She closes her eyes and leans into the kiss, seeming to want more.

Clark: Looking into her eyes again. Have a great time in Paris. I hope you find what you're looking for.

Lana nods, disappointed, and even a bit miffed. Her eyes fill with tears. This is not what she expected.

Lana: (Almost a whisper.) Goodbye, Clark.

Clark smiles in response. Lana turns around and walks down the stairs, exiting the loft. Clark is left alone in the loft, bathed in the golden light of the setting sun.

-----

LANA’s JOURNAL

Why did Clark do that to me - again? I know that’s not what he asked me to come there for. It’s so maddening! I know he was sincere in his desire for me to be happy. But I also know that he’s keeping something back from me – something he was almost ready to tell me – and then, for some inexplicable reason, he froze up again. What is it that is so hard for you to tell me, Clark? Please just tell me. Tell me before it’s too late. Tell me before I’m gone.

I’m not going to give up. I’m going to ask Clark to drive me to the airport. This will ensure that we see each other twice more before I go – that’s two more opportunities for him to tell me whatever it was that was on his mind. I hope he does it. I really want to know him.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t forget the image of Pete getting beat up yesterday, and every time I looked at Lana I couldn’t help but think that I just couldn’t put her in that kind of danger. I love her too much to burden her like that. She’s better off going away to Paris, where she will be safe, where no one will pressure her to tell my secret. As much as I want to be with her, I just can’t believe that being with me is the best thing for her. I know that if I really want to love her, I must protect her, I must let her go. My heart is so heavy. This is not what I want. But it’s what I have to do. It’s what is best for Lana, whether she knows it or not. I hope someday things can be different – somehow. But until I can figure that out, I have to let her go. Good-bye, Lana. I love you more than you will ever know. Forever and always.

-----
:) :) :) :) :)For an alternate CLANA ending for this episode, look for my new thread, “Alternate CLANA Scenes” and read FORSAKEN: Alternate Ending – Enjoy! It will probably not be posted until tomorrow (Saturday). I still have to type it up & format it. Sorry to make you wait. ;)

--NOTE: In this thread, I will continue to follow the Smallville episodes, as they actually occurred, writing journals to help us understand the actions of the characters. I think Lana’s entries about Jason could be very interesting, and her continued entries about Clark will help us see the hidden CLANA in Season 4.
In my “Alternate CLANA Scenes” thread, I will periodically write my own alternate ending for an episode, when I have a good idea. This will provide the “CLANA fix” everyone here needs. I hope this arrangement works out. ;)

[dreammaster]

awesome chapter

[SmallvilleMan]

I love the effort;)

[booze_is_me09]

that is wonderful!!!!!! can't wait to read them both! i really like this story. i jus started reading this today and i'm hooked. u have some intellegent writing! keepup the great work and PPMS!

[ajfinn]

Sheesh! You are bringing on the PAIN!!!!!!!!! I just want to jump up and down, shouting: Tell her! Tell her! Stay, Lana, I beg youuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!

In other words, I can't wait for the alternate endings :)

[NYC300Z]

Well can't wait to read both of them!! PPMS!!

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by ajfinn
Sheesh! You are bringing on the PAIN!!!!!!!!! I just want to jump up and down, shouting: Tell her! Tell her! Stay, Lana, I beg youuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!

In other words, I can't wait for the alternate endings :)

Okay, Okay! It's coming. To clarify, there is only ONE Alternate ending coming - for now. There will be a new thread titled Alternate CLANA Scenes (Companion to The Clana Journals). The first post in this thread will be an alternate ending for FORSAKEN,(FORSAKEN: Alternate Ending) as it might have ended instead. I'm working on typing it up, but it's long & I'm having to share my PC with other family members. I don't really want to split it into multiple posts. Hope to have it up soon.

After I post COVENANT in The Clana Journals thread, I may give a new Alternate Ending in the Alternate CLANA Endings thread, which would assume that the Forsaken Alternate ending did NOT happen. Does this make sense? Well, off to type. ;)

[ajfinn]

Ha ha ha . . . Svsleuth, I think we should really be friends. It sounds like we're both housewives with a bit of an unhealthy facination for Smallville. :lol: Private message me so we can chat about it -- and not interrupt your story :) Which is so great!!!

[Daniel.Hauser]

Mh, a nice continuation :) Your writing is still great and the insight into their minds even better. So I'll do exactly one thing ... waiting for you to continue!

[SVsleuth]

Sorry, guys. It doesn't look like I'll be able to get the CLANA ending posted today. I've been typing every chance I get, but am not done yet. I really expect to be able to get it posted tomorrow (Sunday). So sorry to keep you waiting for the CLANA. I hope it will be worth the wait.
SVsleuth

[binkys711]

don't worry! we'll be here!:p can't wait to read it!:D

btw....CLARK IS AN IDIOT!!!ARGH!!!IT BREAKS MY HEART WATCHING THAT SCENE IN FORSAKEN(in the loft)!!!AHH!!!!:mad:

[SVsleuth]

Ok guys. The Alternate CLANA Endings thread is open. BUT, I was only able to post a sneak peek for now: Parts 1 & 2. I have 13 pages to format, but hope to have it all up tomorrow - no, today, in the afternoon, Central time. sorry for the cliff hanger. ;) Enjoy!

[NYC300Z]

okay cool going to check it out now thanks!

[SVsleuth]

COVENANT - Part 1

Recall that in the end of FORSAKEN, a couple of nights before this scene, Clark & Lana had talked in the loft. He had told her, “Have a great time in Paris. I hope you find what you're looking for.” This was not what she had been expecting him to tell her.

The night before this scene happens, “Kara” had shown up at the Kent Farm, trying to lure Clark to Jor-El.

Today, Clark is standing outside the Kent farm. Lana drives up, parks her car and Clark walks over to greet her as she gets out.

Clark: I thought you'd be packing.

Lana: Well, if I squeeze anything else into my suitcases, I think they'd explode.

Clark: So when are you taking off?

Lana: Well, I have to be at the airport by noon tomorrow. (Clark nods.) That's sort of why I'm here. Um, I was wondering if you would mind being my super-shuttle.

Clark: (Surprised.) Sure.

Lana: I know it's been a strange year, but I hate leaving with the feeling that things aren't settled between us.

Clark: Lana, when I said I wanted you to be happy, I meant it.

Lana talks over the last few words of Clark's sentence. She obviously came over to talk about something in particular.

Lana: When you invited me over the other night and you had something important to tell me, that wasn't it, was it?

Clark doesn't answer. Lana suddenly speaks more quietly, her words becoming more urgent, as she moves closer to him.

Lana: Clark, if you have something to say to me, say it before I'm gone.

Clark looks deeply into her eyes, trying to make a decision. Lana looks pleadingly back at him. He clearly makes the decision to tell her the truth.

Clark: Lana--

Lana looks away from Clark as he hesitates and notices a girl dressed in white, out in the field.

Lana: Who's that?

Clark turns around and sees Kara watching them from out in the field.

Clark: (Pause.) My cousin. (He exhales heavily)

Lana: You've never mentioned her before. Where is she from?

Clark: Far away. California.

Lana: Well, you know, if you've got company, I should, um, I should find a ride from someone else.

Lana walks toward her car.

Clark: Lana. (Lana stops.) Even though it's gonna be hard to see you go, I want to be there for you.

Lana smiles, seeming to be happy with his response. She gets into her car.

Clark: We'll talk in the car tomorrow?

Lana smiles again and starts her car. Clark watches her drive away. Kara is suddenly standing right behind him. Clark turns around when she speaks to him.

Kara: She really does love you. But it's not meant to be, and you know that.

Clark: No one knows what's meant to be. Not you. Not even Jor-El.

-----
LANA’s JOURNAL

I went and asked Clark straight out if there was something more he had intended to say to me. I told him that if there’s something he wants to say to me, he should say it before I’m gone. Then, we got interrupted when I saw this mysterious girl. Clark said she was his cousin from California – but I can always tell when he’s not being completely honest. But who else could she be? And why would he lie about it? Could she be a secret girlfriend? Is that what he’s wanted to tell me? I don’t know – probably not.

Clark said it will be hard for him to see me go, but that he wants to be there for me. He said he wants me to be happy. He wants to talk more in the car, on the way to the airport tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that – a three hour drive with Clark to Metropolis. Surely that’s plenty enough time for him to tell me whatever it is he wanted to say that was so important.

Oh, Clark, I wish you just would have told me the other night, like you said you would. Why do you always change your mind? What on Earth could be so very difficult to tell me? I can’t even imagine what it might be.

Clark, you’d better show up this time. You have a track record of missing out on our scheduled meetings. I still can’t figure out why. But I always get the feeling that it was something important that came up. Maybe you were off rescuing someone from a meteor freak – you seem to be really good at doing that. You’ve certainly saved me a whole lot of times.

I really am going to miss you, Clark. It seems silly, because half of the reason I’m going is to get away from you for awhile so we can stop hurting each other. I’m not sure it will work. A part of you will always be with me, no matter how many miles are separating us.

I really hope we can talk and get to a comfortable place with each other before I go. I really want to be on good terms with you as I go away. I really want to have a good memory of the last time we spend together before I go. I want to put aside the “strained relationship” and part on good terms. See you tomorrow, Clark.

-----

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Lana surprised me. She came over and asked me to be the one to drive her to the airport tomorrow. She saw through my façade the other night. She knew there was something else I intended to tell her and that I changed my mind – again. I didn’t mean to but, I did it to Lana again. I got her hopes up and dashed them. I gave her reason to believe that I was ready to tell her my secret, and then I pushed her away again. I did intend to tell her everything; but I couldn’t after what happened to Pete. I wanted to make things better with Lana, but now I’ve probably pushed her away for good. How could she ever trust me again?

Lana came right out and told me that if I have something to tell her, she wants me to do it before she goes. I was about to do it when Kara appeared and we got interrupted. Should I tell her on the way to the airport tomorrow? Or should I just let her go, so she will be safe? I guess I’ll just have to trust my instincts when the time comes. I sure wish things didn’t have to be this way. If Lana’s going to go, I at least want to part on good terms with her. I hope I don’t screw it up again. See you tomorrow, Lana.

[binkys711]

great update!!!PPMS!!! are you gonna put the scene with the rose?! (that's such a sad scene:(....everytime i see it i think: CLARK YOU IDIOT!!!GO AFTER HER!!!AHHHH!!!:mad::p) can't wait 'till your next post!:D;)

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by binkys711
great update!!!PPMS!!! are you gonna put the scene with the rose?! (that's such a sad scene:(....everytime i see it i think: CLARK YOU IDIOT!!!GO AFTER HER!!!AHHHH!!!:mad::p) can't wait 'till your next post!:D;)

Yes. That will be part 2. Coming soon, tonight or tomorrow. It's already written, but not typed & formatted. Need to get enough time to get on the computer long enough. :)

[NYC300Z]

okay i'll be waiting! like always these are very sad! oh well PPMS!!

[SVsleuth]

COVENANT – Part 2

Lionel sent Clark a key to Lex’s secret room. Clark went there and he and Lex had a big blow up. Kara has still been trying to get Clark to go with her. Clark is upset, and has been talking to Martha for quite a while.

Clark: Maybe I should go.

Martha: Oh, sweetheart, you don't have to decide anything right this minute, you know? It's been an incredibly difficult time for you with Pete gone and Lana leaving.

Clark nods his head, then suddenly remembers that he was supposed to take Lana to the airport.

Clark: Lana.

Lana arrives at Metropolis International Airport on a shuttle bus, Clark having forgotten to pick her up. Lana steps onto the sidewalk with her bags. She passes a couple kissing passionately and looks away unhappily. She keeps walking along the sidewalk. She passes Lex without even noticing him until he touches her arm and she turns around.

Lana: (Surprised.) Lex.

Lex: I just wanted to say bon voyage.

Lana puts down her bags.

Lana: Shouldn't you be at the courthouse? (for the bail hearing for Lionel)

Lex: My father can wait. Lana, I couldn't let the last person you saw from Smallville be the shuttle driver looking for his tip.

Lana: (Smiling gratefully.) Lex, um, I can't thank you enough for everything that you've done for me.

Lex: It's pretty clear your destiny lies far beyond the Smallville city limits. I'm just trying to help you get there.

Lana: (Her smile grows.) I don't know what I did to deserve such a great friend, but I'm glad that you came into my life.
Lex: Maybe I'll bump into you on the Champs-Elysees.

Lana: You're gonna be in Paris?

Lex: I haven't been in a couple of years, but now I have a reason to go.

Lana smiles and hugs Lex tightly.

Clark has arrived at the airport. From across the street, he watches Lana hug Lex. Clark holds a white rose in his hand and is obviously there to say goodbye to Lana. But when he sees that Lex is already there, he changes his mind. Clark lets the rose drop to the ground.

Clark watches Lana and Lex finish up their goodbyes, and then Lex walks away. Lana bends down to pick up her bags. She glances across the street and catches a glimpse of Clark standing there.

Lana makes her way across the busy street to where Clark was standing. As she crosses, a large shuttle bus drives by, blocking Clark from her view. When the bus is gone, Clark is nowhere to be seen. Lana finishes crossing the street and looks around for Clark.

All that she finds is the white rose lying on the ground. She bends over and picks it up, looking at it sadly.

-----

Clark goes to the courthouse to testify at Lionel’s hearing. He tells Lex that their friendship is over.

(Added scene) Clark superspeeds back to his loft, and grabs his journal:

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Damn you, Lex! How could you do this to me?

First, he’s been continuing to investigate me, collecting all kinds of information about me. Then, he causes me to forget to bring Lana to the airport, and he beats me there himself to see her off. Lex spoiled my last opportunity to spend a few moments with Lana before she left. Now I’ll have no chance to tell her my secret, no chance to give her a choice.

When I got to the airport and saw Lex hugging Lana, my heart dropped as if to the bottom of the ocean. Lex has manipulated Lana into trusting him. How can I ever tell Lana everything if Lex is getting so close to her? He can no longer be trusted. I’m beginning to believe that Lex really is Segeeth. He certainly is a friend who is becoming my enemy.

Oh, Lana, I wanted so much to have one more chance to spend time with you before you left. I wanted just a few more moments with you, to cherish while you’re away. But now you’re gone, and I don’t know when I’ll ever see you again. Please don’t forget me, Lana. I’ll never forget you. You will always be in my heart, forever.

-----

Clark flips on the radio, hoping that some music will drown his sorrows. What he hears brings tears to his eyes:

“Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more

Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You've got to hold me and maybe I'll believe

So hold me
Even though I know you're leaving”

The lyrics of the song cut deeply into Clark’s heart. He fights it but cannot stop the tears that wet his face. He thinks, “Oh, Lana, how I long to have one moment more with you. How much I long to hold you in my arms one more time, just for a moment. I think I’ve lost you now. Forever. How could you ever come back to me now?”(End added scene)

A little while later, Clark talks with Kara, and they go to the caves, where Jor-El sucks Clark into an unknown place, against his will, and Jonathan ends up in a coma.

-----

(Added scene) Lana is on the plane to Paris & writing in her journal.

LANA’s JOURNAL

I wonder what was going on with Clark? Yesterday, he said he really wanted to be here for me. But then, he didn’t show up to take me to the airport. He did come, though. I saw him across the street as Lex was leaving. But by the time I got there, he was gone. I almost thought I had imagined seeing him – but then, something on the ground caught my eye: it was a single white rose. I picked it up. I know it was from Clark. Clark always brings me flowers, or a single rose, when he wants to apologize. It must have been something really important that kept him from showing up on time.

But, why did he leave? Why did he drop the rose and disappear, instead of coming to tell me good-bye? Did he decide he just couldn’t bear to say good-bye? Was he still planning to tell me something important, but chickened out again? Or did he see me hugging Lex and think that Lex and I are more than just friends? Could he have been jealous?

And here I am, on my way to Paris, supposedly to make a fresh start, and to escape having to deal with my feelings for Clark Kent – and all I can do is think of him. How I wanted one last embrace, one last kiss, one last memory of looking into his beautiful blue eyes - - to cherish in my heart forever. I miss you already, Clark.

Lana puts on stereo headphones to listen to music. “Maybe some music will distract me, and get my thoughts off of Clark,” she thinks. The lyrics soon pierce her consciousness:

“Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more

Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You've got to hold me and maybe I'll believe

So hold me
Even though I know you're leaving”

Tears fill Lana’s eyes and spill down her cheeks as she hears the song. She thinks, ”Oh, Clark, how I wish we could have had one moment more to cherish. How I long to feel your arms around me one last time. Will we ever have another chance to be together?” (End added scene)

[i](Credit: The song Clark & Lana heard was One Moment More, by Mindy Smith. On Smallville, it was heard during the scene at the airport, when Clark saw Lex with Lana, and Lana found the rose.)

[ajfinn]

You did it to me again :) I just wanted to shout . . . . noooooo, change it, change it!! So, now I'll have to go back and read your other alternate ending again. It's sad to feel their emotions all over again, but with Clana coming back to Smallville, it's cool to remember how far they've come. GREAT job, SVSleuth!! :D

[NYC300Z]

Yeah i guess it is nice to look back and see where've they been and the journals give us a more in depth look into it. Can't wait to see the alternate ending! :) PPMS!!

[binkys711]

AHHHHHH!!!That scene always breaks my heart!!!*sobs* thanxz for giving us the inside look into their thoughts.....so, so sad:( great job though!!! you described and wrote everything very well;) PPMS!!!:D

[4EverSmallville]

Unbelievable. I've seen Covenant a dozen times and reading this just brings back all those negative feelings. That really was a sad scene lol. Very nice journal entries :).

[Mythos]

WOW! That just completely accurately described what I was thinking that they were thinking at the time I was watching that scene in Covenant! Fantastic!:D

[booze_is_me09]

it is great to get an inside look to clana at the end of the 3rd season.PPMS!

[MOOman0618]

I just spend the whole morning reading this post! I love the indepth look into Lana and Clark's minds. You really capture the emotion that you can see on their faces during the episodes. Keep going! I'll bet season 4 should be interesting! :)

[SVsleuth]

Thanks for all of the great feedback.

If you would like to read an alternate CLANA ending for COVENANT, go to my other thread, Alternate CLANA Scenes. Parts 1 & 2 have been posted. Part Three will probably be posted Sunday night. Enjoy!

[ajfinn]

Well . . . at least SOMEONE is trying to explain why Clark and Lana suddenly gave up. *sniff. sob* Thanks SVSleuth, for reminding everyone of the depth of feelings these two really had for one another. Though sad and agonizing, it's good to remember that their relationship wasn't as shallow as the beginning of season 4 made it seem. :D

[SVsleuth]

Time for your CLANA fix:

All 3 Parts of the Alternate CLANA Scenes for COVENANT have now been posted in the Alternate CLANA Scenes thread. Enjoy.

Next one in this thread will be a filler episode: "From COVENANT to CRUSADE." Hope you are enjoying both threads. Please post your comments after reading them. Thanks.

- SVsleuth

[SVsleuth]

Added filler episode - From COVENANT to CRUSADE

This is a filler “episode” between Covenant and Crusade, to fill in some of what happened during the “3 months.”

A few days after Lana arrived in Paris

At the Art School, Lana is walking down a hallway and spots something called “E-mail Stations” where there are several computers. “Cool,” she thinks to herself, “a place for students to check e-mail during the day.” She logs into her e-mail account, thinking that she’ll find some BON VOYAGE greetings from Chloe, Clark, or Lex. She finds only one message – from Lex:

“Have fun in Paris, Lana. I’ll look you up if I make it to France. Forget about Smallville while you’re in Paris, Lana. Make new friends, find some adventure. You deserve to be happy. – Lex”

Lana hits “Reply”

“Hi, Lex,
Thanks for the message and the advice. Paris is amazing! I’m getting settled in my apartment, and have taken a tour of the Art School. I hope I do make some friends here soon. It is kind of strange being alone here. Keep in touch. – Lana”

For the next several weeks, whenever Lana checks her e-mail, she only receives mail from Lex, and occasionally from Nell. Lex tells her nothing about Chloe’s apparent death and Clark’s strange disappearance. He talks only about Paris with Lana and she refrains from questioning him about Smallville events.

-----
One month later

LANA’s JOURNAL

I’ve been in Paris for a month now. It still seems odd to me that I haven’t even received one e-mail from Chloe or from Clark. Should I send one to them first? I don’t know; it just seems like they should have done it, if they are really my friends. How could they have forgotten about me? Lex didn’t. No. I’ll wait for them to contact me first. If they don’t, then I’ll take Lex’s advice: forget about Smallville and enjoy my adventure in Paris.

-----
LANA’s JOURNAL – the next day

I made a friend today. His name is Jason. He was driving by on his Vespa, and he clipped me. I thought he was gonna steal my purse so I kicked him off his bike. He messed up an old football injury and then I spent five hours with him at the hospital. We seemed to just click with each other. After the five hours, I felt like I’d known him for a lot longer. He’s kinda cute and has a sense of humor that is refreshing. I gave him my phone number. I hope we get to spend more time together. I’ve been getting pretty lonely lately, especially not even getting e-mails from my supposed “friends” back home.

Home. Funny, Smallville doesn’t even feel like it ever really was my home. What would I have to go back to? Nothing but painful memories and difficult relationships. I’m glad I’m here in Paris, making a fresh start. I hope Jason can help me have fun here, and help me forget my painful past.
-----

(Next Post will be in this thread: CRUSADE)

[booze_is_me09]

awesome! so is the covenant alternate clana scenes!PPMS!

[SmallvilleMan]

that was sad, but nice update.

[NYC300Z]

That's interesting to see how Lana was tring to move past what happned in Smallville and how she felt abandoned by Chloe and Clark.... If only she knew...

[4EverSmallville]

Oh goodness lol. Through it all I'm thinking that this is so depressingly accurate :lol:. I'd be willing to bet that was exactly what Lana felt when she wasn't getting any e-mails from Clark or Chloe. And I'm sure Lex wouldn't have bothered to explain the truth to her :rolleyes:. All my complaining means that I liked the update lol.

[binkys711]

you have managed to bring back the most painful clana memories from smallville....you describe all the feelings and actions very accurately.... your doing a great job on this!!!;)and i agree with 4eversmallville!^^^^:p:D

[MOOman0618]

Stupid Lex being...Lex. These journals make me feel so bad for the characters! Which is a good thing...makes me feel like I know them better.

[SVsleuth]

CRUSADE –

(Paris – 3 months after Lana arrived there.)

(Lana is in her apartment, reminiscing about what happened earlier in the day.)

Lana: Well, it sounds like love at first crash.

Jason: Yeah. Well, for me it was anyway, but I'm just an impulsive kind of guy.

Lana: Well, how does she feel?

Jason: I don't know. She doesn't really talk about it. I think she, uh, I think she got hurt by somebody, but maybe she needs to talk about it.

(Lana picks up her journal and begins to write.)

LANA’s JOURNAL

“I think she got hurt by somebody, but maybe she needs to talk about it.” That’s what Jason said. Yeah. I guess I have been hurt – by Clark. But, I don’t want to talk about it. Especially not to Jason. I’ll write about something else.

I can’t believe I’ve been in Paris for three months already. The first month was the hardest. I was really lonely and didn’t know anyone here. I busied myself with my art classes and settling into my apartment.

Then, two months ago today, I met Jason. I was so surprised to find out that he’s from Metropolis. We hit it off pretty well. At least I have someone to hang out with, to do things with, to help me forget about Clark.

I’m surprised that Clark still hasn’t sent me at least one e-mail to try to explain why he didn’t show up to take me to the airport. Maybe he’s totally forgotten me by now, and Chloe’s having her chance with him. Why does that thought make my blood boil? Will I ever get over you, Clark? – How did I end up thinking about Clark again?

Back to Jason – He’s a really nice guy, fun to be with – kind of crazy. It’s kind of refreshing to be with someone who isn’t hiding anything, who can just be himself and have fun. I enjoy his company. We’ve spent a lot of time together lately. I’m really starting to care for him a lot. I think I actually do consider him to be my boyfriend now – though that’s not at all what I intended when we became friends. Jason’s planning to take me on a motorcycle trip to NICE. My adventurous spirit really likes the adventurer I’ve found in Jason. He’s someone who’s willing to take risks and get out to explore the world – just like I’ve always wanted to do. I came to Paris looking for adventure, and I am finding it – with Jason.
I can’t wait for that motorcycle ride to Nice – motorcycle – motorcycle…

***
(Lana’s mind drifts to an old memory.)

Clark walks a motorcycle out onto the dirt road outside his house. Lana walks up, worried.

Lana: Clark, where are you going?

Clark walks away from the motorcycle and grabs his leather jacket from a bale of hay where it is resting.

Clark: Away from here.

Lana: The Clark Kent I know wouldn't run away from his problems.

Clark: (Putting on his jacket and going back to the motorcycle) The Clark Kent you know is a lie.

Lana: Why won't you let me in?

Clark: Because, Lana, you won't like what you see.

Lana comes to his side and grabs his arm, turning him around to face her.

Lana: I am not giving up on you.

Clark: No one can save me. Not even you.

Lana: (Starting to cry) Your parents need you. (Whispered as a tear rolls down her cheek) I need you.
Clark looks away painfully. Lana pulls his face back to her.

Lana: I love you, Clark.

Clark: I love you, too... more than you'll ever know. That's why I have to leave.

He turns away from her for a moment. He sits down on the motorcycle, takes a breath, seeming almost relieved as he turns back to Lana.

Clark: Come with me.

Lana: Smallville's my home. It's your home too.

Clark shakes his head and puts on his sunglasses.

Clark: Not anymore.

He starts the motorcycle and speeds away, leaving Lana alone and in tears in the middle of the dirt road.

***
(Lana shakes her head, trying to clear out the thoughts of Clark. She goes back to her journal writing…)

I can’t wait for that motorcycle ride to Nice, - to experience the open road, the wind in my face again. Again? When have I…?

(Lana’s mind drifts off to another memory.)

Clark: What are you doing here?

Lana: Looking for you. Clark, you need to come home.

Clark: Smallville's not my home anymore.

Lana looks at him for a long moment, then steps closer.

Lana: I am not letting you ride out of my life again.

Clark: Then get on.

Lana lowers her eyes for a moment, hesitating, then puts her purse strap over her shoulder and gets on the motorcycle behind Clark. They speed out of the alley and out into the street.

***
(Lana’s mind drifts to another scene.)

Clark: You're so cute when you're angry.…
… I thought you were here to have some fun.

Lana: You're right. I'm sorry. I'll go freshen up.

(She starts to leave and Clark stops her.)

Clark: Hey, why? I think you look great.

(He leans in and kisses her. She returns the kiss eagerly until Clark finally pulls away.)

Clark: (Seriously) I'm glad you're here.

Lana: Me too.

***
(Lana sighs and continues to write in her journal.)

Clark was so different in Metropolis, and yet – there was something that really attracted me about that side of Clark. He was adventurous, and more of a risk-taker. He was more open and seemed more free. And he was so hot in that leather jacket and those sunglasses. (Lana’s begins to daydream about it...)

….Why am I reminiscing about Clark – again? Will I ever get him out of my head and heart?

This trip with Jason should be amazing. I wonder what we’ll do and see in Nice? I’m most looking forward to that motorcycle ride. It’s such an adventure. I’m glad I came to Paris. I’m glad I’m finally getting a taste of adventure in my life.

***
***
Clark had been sucked away by Jor-El to an unknown place for three months. He was “reborn” as Kal-El, with no memory of his life as Clark Kent. He met Lois, flew to Lex’s plane to get the first “stone”, put the stone in the table in the cave, then was helped by Martha and the black Kryptonite to defeat Kal-El & become his old self again.

CLARK’s JOURNAL

It’s so weird having three months of nothing in my memory. It feels like it was just yesterday when Lana left for Paris, and Lex betrayed me. In a way, it was, because I don’t remember any days in between. I only remember feeling safe, peaceful. It felt like I belonged there. It’s weird. I don’t remember anything with my head – where I was, or who was there. All I seem to have retained are the feelings I had during my time there. It’s like my heart remembers, but my brain does not. That sounds like something Lana would say.

I wonder how Lana is? She must have wondered why I was a no-show again. I thought maybe she had sent me some e-mail or something while I was gone, but I didn’t find anything – nothing, for three whole months! Maybe she was so angry with me for forgetting about her that she’s glad to be away from me, glad she left me behind in Smallville while she ventures out into the world. She always did want adventure.

I hope she’s finding what she’s looking for. If I can’t be with her, I at least want to know that she is happy. If she’s really happy, I can be really happy for her. I wonder if she’s made any new friends in Paris. I wonder how she likes art school. Maybe I should send her an e-mail and just ask her. Surely she doesn’t expect me to not even contact her, to play the avoidance game permanently.

Then again, she’s been away for three months. Won’t she wonder why it took me so long to send an e-mail? What will I tell her? Even with all this distance between us, I would have to lie to her – and she’d probably see through it. Maybe I’d better not be the first one to e-mail. She could have contacted me, but she didn’t. So I guess I’ll leave it alone, for now.

***
In Paris, Lana & Jason meet in a church to work on an art project. As Lana does a rubbing from the tomb of Marguerite Isobel Thoreaux, she sees that the symbol on Isobel’s shield looks familiar. Lana reaches out to touch it, and something strange happens. She is engulfed in a beam of bright light.

***
To be continued in "From CRUSADE to GONE", and "GONE", which will be the next post, in this thread. There will not be an “Alternate Scene” for Crusade, but there will be one after Gone.

Please post a reply with your comments, however brief. Thanks! :)

[SmallvilleMan]

Cool, can't wait for the alternate scene, maybe clark goes to paris after her?

[Cardinal]

Yes! A new update. Thanks, I love your work! :)

By the way, Ketchup is back online. He just posted a few minutes ago, so maybe we'll get an update from him, too. ;)

[4EverSmallville]

Great entries :). I liked Lana reminiscing as well.

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by Cardinal
Yes! A new update. Thanks, I love your work! :)

By the way, Ketchup is back online. He just posted a few minutes ago, so maybe we'll get an update from him, too. ;)

Yay! Now you won't have to switch to mustard! :lol:

(See Cardinal's post on Ketchup's thread to get this joke.)

[NYC300Z]

Very sad update like always. It's nice to see how Lana isn't really over Clark or that into Jason lol! PPMS! can't wait for gone! ;)

[booze_is_me09]

i love this!!!!PPMS!

[MOOman0618]

That was really good. I love it how Lana kept involuntarily drifting back to Clark. She can't escape!! Muah ha ha!

[binkys711]

I liked the flashbacks, very good touch;) PPMS!!!your doing a great job on this fic!:D

[SVsleuth]

From CRUSADE to GONE

Lana is on a plane, heading back to the U.S. from Paris. She turns over in her mind the events of the last few days.

***1st flashback***
In Paris, Lana & Jason meet in a church to work on an art project.

Jason: Come on, I've already scoped out our victim.

Jason leads Lana to a wall next to an altar. In front of the altar on the ground is a brass engraving of a female warrior. The woman is wearing a regal dress. She holds a sword in one hand and a shield in the other.

Jason: Meet your art project. Countess Margaret Isabelle Theroux. It says here she was a warrior princess who kicked a lot of ass and broke a lot of hearts.

Lana: (Smiling) Is that a direct translation?

Jason: (Smiling back) No, I just, I figured you guys have a lot in common, you know, you're both, uh, you're both strong, and, uh, you're both uncompromising, both beautiful.

Lana laughs. …

After Jason shows her the tomb of the “warrior princess” he leaves and Lana turns to her art project. As Lana does a charcoal rubbing from the tomb of Margaret Isabelle Theroux, she first notices that the face seems… she can’t figure it out… but somehow familiar. She continues her charcoal rubbing and soon uncovers a symbol on Isabelle’s shield that looks somewhat familiar. Lana reaches out to touch it, and something strange happens: beams of white light shine from the symbol. Lana is engulfed in a beam of bright light and a howling wind surrounds her causing her to toss her head back. She looks down at the symbol again as the light shines and glimmers like a powerful flame and the wind blows her hair in every direction.

***2nd flashback***
Lana is lying in her bed in Paris. She is startled awake by a pounding on the door. Her hair is matted and messy and she is breathless and sweating. The knocking continues, persistent and frightening. Lana is naked and pulls the sheet over herself nervously as the wind blowing in through her windows causes the drapes to wave like flags.

On an easel across the room stands Lana's charcoal rubbing of the Countess Theroux. Lana finally stands up, holding the sheet loosely around herself as the pounding goes on. She walks slowly to the door and, keeping the chain in place, she unlocks the deadbolt and cautiously opens the door. Jason is standing there.

Jason: (Confused) What's going on? You were supposed to meet me at 10. It's now 12. Are you okay?

Lana tries unsuccessfully to brush her hair out of her face. Her hand shakes and she is out of breath.

Lana: (Nervous, almost fearful) Yeah, I don't know how I got here. I must've passed out. I'll meet you downstairs.

Jason looks like he is about to argue, but Lana closes the door. She turns around and looks at her room strangely.

***3rd flashback***
Lana stands in her shower. She turns the water on and lets it fall on her face, pushing her hair back on her head. She closes her eyes, savoring the water as the steam rises around her and she takes a deep breath.

She continues to stand with her head under the falling water, brushing her hair out of her face and feeling extremely uneasy. Then she turns off the water and steps out of the shower holding a towel up to her chest. She steps past her mirror and something she sees there catches her attention.

In the mirror, she is looking at her bare back. On her lower back, there is a black tattoo of the symbol that we saw on Countess Theroux's shield. Lana is stunned to see it on her skin.

********
********
GONE – Part 1

***4th flashback***
Lana is looking through some pictures on her laptop computer at her Paris apartment. She is wearing a shirt that ties in the back, revealing much of her bare skin including the symbol tattooed onto her lower back.

There are several pictures taken in Smallville on her computer screen. She clicks on a picture of Clark and it zooms forward, filling the screen.

In the picture, Clark is standing in front of a stone wall in the Kawatche caves. Upon closer inspection, Lana sees a symbol painted onto the wall behind Clark. It is the same symbol that is now on her back. She stands up and goes to a mirror, looking at her lower back with growing worry.

*** End of flashbacks***

***

On the plane, Lana pulls out her journal to write, as she settles in for a long flight.

LANA’s JOURNAL

I wish I could understand what is happening to me. When I touched the symbol on Isabelle’s tomb, I felt a beam of light hit me. It was so bright! The next thing I knew I was waking up in my apartment, stark naked, and twelve hours had gone by. I don’t remember anything about those twelve hours – not where I was or how I got back to my apartment. I only have a lingering feeling about it. I have the feeling I was in a place that was really peaceful. I have no memory of anything specific, though.

Then, I discovered this symbol tattooed onto my back. The same symbol that was on Isabelle’s tomb; the same symbol that is on the cave wall in Smallville. How can the caves and Isabelle’s tomb have anything to do with each other? Maybe Clark knows something. He was always intrigued with those cave writings. But… how can I ask Clark? How can I trust him with this secret? He abandoned me and never bothered to explain. I’m still angry with him for that. Why would he ignore me? Is he with someone else now? That mysterious girl? Chloe? Chloe hasn’t contacted me either. That seems really odd. Why wouldn’t she? Maybe she and Clark have gotten together and they’re too chicken to tell me about it. I don’t know what to think. Lex hasn’t mentioned anything about either of them in his e-mails – and I haven’t asked him. I don’t want to put Lex in the middle of my squabbles with Clark and Chloe.

I wish I didn’t have to go back to Smallville and face them again. But how else can I find answers about this symbol and what is happening to me? I feel a strange power inside of me somehow. It scares me. I wish I could just erase what happened at Isabelle’s tomb and go back to my normal life. But I can’t. Something inside of me seems to be calling me back to Smallville, to those caves, to … to Clark …. For answers. I guess I’ll have to face him.

Jason must be really confused. All of a sudden I just leave for Smallville. But I couldn’t tell him about what happened at the tomb – and about the tattoo. I somehow don’t feel comfortable telling him about it. I really don’t know him very well yet. What would he think of me? Would he think I’ve gone crazy? I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t explain. So I just left a note. It’s just that I have this secret now, and it’s scary to tell it to anyone. It’s not that I don’t trust Jason. It’s just - - I can’t tell anyone until I understand why this is happening to me.

Maybe this is how Clark felt, all those times when he wouldn’t open up to me. He seems to have some kind of secrets he isn’t comfortable telling to anyone. What if… what if his secret has something to do with those caves and these symbols too? Maybe he doesn’t understand it any better than I do. How can I find out anything? Should I trust Clark? I don’t know if I can. He’s hurt me so many times. I guess I’ll have to trust my instincts when I get back to Smallville.

***
Coming Next: GONE - Part 2 - Lana in Smallville

[Cardinal]

Lana's worried about Chlark, hah! Can't wait to see what Lana's journal reaction to Lois will be!

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by Cardinal
Lana's worried about Chlark, hah! Can't wait to see what Lana's journal reaction to Lois will be!

I've aleady got most of that written. Hopefully will get to post it later today! It's one I really enjoyed writing. ;)

[4EverSmallville]

Aw, don't stop there lol. I can't wait to see what she says about Lois since she suspects Clois in Gone. I'm excited to see how you handle that.

[MOOman0618]

I wonder what Clark's reason will be for not contacting her...

Oh Lois...this should be fun.

[binkys711]

Lois *giggles* this is gonna be good;):p PPMS!!!:D

[Cardinal]

I can see it now. Hey Journal, who the bleep is Lois?!? Where did she come from and why is she staying with my ma...I mean with Clark? :D

[binkys711]

^^^^:rotfl::lol:

[lanaland]

Lois it's sound very funny....PPMS! Lol Cardinal

[BriannaD413]

Love it so far, just read the last update....beautiful work. I wish we could always know how Clark and Lana think and feel. You let us know! You do a good job at it too.

[NYC300Z]

oh very interesting to see it from this angle. Reveals much more can't wait for the rest! PPMS!!

[SVsleuth]

GONE – Part 2

In this episode, I blend added scenes into the actual show, in an attempt to improve the emotional continuity, without changing the main plot. Hope you enjoy it.

(Lex pours a goblet of red wine in his study. He holds it up and looks at it as if hearing Lionel's words in his head. Someone enters the study behind him and he turns around seeing that it's Lana. He puts down his glass and Lana walks toward him with a smile.)

Lex: You look great.

Lana: (With a smile.) Thank you.

(They hug.)

Lex: Hey.

Lana: Hey.

Lex: So from your message, I didn't quite get if this is a stopover or if you're back for good.

Lana: For a while. I guess Paris just wasn't for me.

Lex: Yeah. (He walks toward the sofa. His tone is teasing.) Museums, late night jazz clubs, walks along the Seine. I see how that can all get boring.

(Lana follows Lex to the sofa where they sit next to each other.)

Lana: Let's just say that I felt as though something was calling me home.

Lex: A little cryptic, but I'll take it. Well, you picked a good day for homecoming. You know, Clark just resurfaced, too. Interesting timing.

Lana: (Dismissive.) Funny, I don't remember asking about Clark. (Changing the subject.) Actually, uh, I came by because I saw the Talon was boarded up. I thought you would've sold it by now.

Lex: Yeah, well, I had a little trouble letting it go. (Lana squints at Lex inquisitively.) Why, are you in the market for a partner?

Lana: (She smiles.) No. Um... no. I want to rent the apartment.

(Lex nods, smiling in return.)

(They talk longer, & Lex eventually reveals that Chloe is thought dead. Lana is shocked! He hated to upset her, knowing the truth, but it was necessary for everyone to really believe that she was dead, in order for his plan to work.)

Lana: Chloe’s dead?

(Lana starts crying. Lex takes her in his arms to comfort her. She cries on his shoulder for a few minutes. Suddenly, Lana pulls away, and begins to glare at Lex.)

Lana: Lex! You’ve known all along! Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you keep it from me?

Lex: Lana, this happened the same day you left for Paris. Did you really want to feel forced to come back as soon as you had arrived? It’s not like you could do anything to change what happened anyway.

Lana: But, Lex! I was so mad at Chloe for not e-mailing me. If I had known – Oh, Chloe, I’m so sorry for what I thought. (more tears fall to her cheeks) I’ve gotta go see her – pay my respects…

Lana turns and walks quickly toward the door.

Lana: (coldly) Bye, Lex.

Lex just watches her go, without another word.

***

(At the cemetery, Lana rescues Lois from Trent. Then…)

Lana: Are you okay?

(They both look toward where Trent was lying. He is gone.)

Lois: Where the hell did he go? Medieval psychopath.

Lana: (Seeing Chloe's grave.) I guess you'd have to be in order to dig up a grave in the middle of the day.

Lois: Actually, that was me. (Lana looks at Lois strangely.) It's my cousin's grave. (Offers her hand.) Lois Lane.

(Lana shakes her hand.)

Lana: Lana Lang. (pauses) So you’re Chloe’s cousin?

Lois: Yeah. I’m here trying to figure out the truth about what happened to her. Clark thought that… That’s Clark Kent .. You know him?

Lana: Yeah.

Lois: Well, Clark said he thought that Chloe wasn’t in her grave. He thinks she’s still alive. I don’t know what made him think that, but my curiosity got the best of me, so I snuck out early, while he was still asleep & came here to find out for myself.

Lana: What’d you find out?

Lois: He was right. The casket is empty. I don’t know how he knew.

Lana: Well, Clark is famous around here for his accurate hunches & amazing rescues.

Lois: Well, you didn’t do so bad in the rescue department yourself.

Lana: Thanks. Glad I was able to help. I hope Clark’s right this time. (pause) So, uh, Lois, you need a lift home?

Lois: Yeah – Well, actually, to the Kent Farm. I’m staying there while Clark & I try to solve the mystery of Chloe’s death or disappearance.

(They walk toward Lana’s SUV, and get in. As Lana drives off, Lois talks in her usual non-stop, nervous manner, trying to keep up a conversation)

Lois: Yeah, Clark & I went to the site of Chloe’s safe-house explosion yesterday morning. We got into a little trouble there – but I won’t go into that. The funny part was when we got back and Mrs. Kent caught us together in the bathroom! You should have seen the look on her face. We were just showering! Boy, I sure got Clark in a mess! (Lois laughs.)

(Lana’s ears perk up. Her heart and her thoughts begin to race: “Clark & Lois are together? And taking showers together? Wow, I guess I know why he didn’t bother to contact me. He moved on that quickly? --- Why do I care? I moved on with Jason. Yeah, I…”)

(Lana’s thoughts were interrupted as Lois asks her a question.)

Lois: So, Lana, you from Smallville?

Lana: Yeah. But, I’ve been away for a few months. Paris.

Lois: Paris? Wow, I bet that was exciting. It’s such a romantic city. Met anyone there? (Lois glances over at Lana.)

Lana: (Keeping her eyes on the road) Yeah, actually. I did. I met a guy from Metropolis, of all places. We spent a lot of time together. We were about to take a weekend motorcycle trip to Nice, but…. (Lana stops, not sure she really wants to talk more about this to a virtual stranger.)

(Just then they arrive at the Kent Farm. Lana sees Clark, working out in the yard on the tractor. He’s wearing jeans & a white T-shirt. As she gets out of the car, Clark walks toward her, with a cautiously hopeful look on his face.)

(Clark’s heart begins pounding in his chest as he sees Lana in front of him.)

Clark: Lana. You’re back. (Trying not to sound too excited to see her.)

(Lana’s thoughts continue to spin, “Wow, he always looks so hot in a white T-shirt. Even better when it was wet" – she remembers a time when he was fixing a leaky drain pipe for her at the Talon. Shaking off her memories, she returns to the present awkward moment, wishing she could run away.)

Lana: Hi. Hi, Clark. (Her thoughts keep echoing in her head, “Clark & Lois? Clark & Lois...?)

(Just then, Lois steps out of the passenger seat of Lana’s vehicle. Clark is surprised, and disappointed to have an intruder at his meeting with Lana.)

Clark: (flatly) Lois. How did you two--

Lana: We just met. I, uh, stopped by the cemetery to pay my respects to Chloe.

Lois: (To Lana.) I think you're forgetting about the part where you saved my life. (To Clark.) Some Ginsu boy came after us at Chloe's grave.

Lana: Look, Clark, if you really think that Chloe's alive, I want to help find her.

Clark: Uh, Lana... Look, I don't want to get your hopes up, but we don't know anything for sure.

Lana: Okay.

Clark: You're back from Paris. You must've found what you were looking for.

Lois: (Cutting in.) I'll say! Who wouldn't want a hot summer fling in the most romantic city on Earth?

(Lana glances at Lois then at Clark, embarrassed. Clark looks at Lana questioningly. His heart drops to the pit of his stomach & a lump forms in his throat.)

Lana: (To Clark.) I was going to tell you.

Clark: (Hurt. Swallowing hard, so he could speak.) It's okay.

(Lois looks at them both, catching on.)

Lois: Really? You two?

Clark: We never...

Lana: Not really.

Clark: ...had a thing.

Lana: It's complicated.

Lois: (She has heard enough.) A complicated thing. Never mind.

(Lana and Clark share another long look.)

(Lana can’t stop the refrain in her brain: “Clark & Lois? Clark & Lois? In the shower?” )

(Clark can’t stop the echo in his ears, “Hot summer fling? Hot summer fling? Romantic?”)

Lana: Well, um, I'm gonna go.

(Lana laughs uncomfortably and walks back to her car.)

Lois: The awkward tension's just getting started.

(Clark doesn't respond. Lois looks back at Lana.)

Lois: I really crashed and burned on that one.

Clark: Must be a daily ritual for you.

Lois: Only when I'm barreling into a train wreck.

(Lois glances back at Lana as she drives away, then walks toward the house. Clark stays where he is.)
***
Coming very soon: GONE, Part 3: More Journals, etc...

[Cardinal]

Lana learning about the shower incident could definitely lead her to the "the best ones always start that way comment" after Clark tells her that Lois is rude, bossy, etc.

Way to go!

[NYC300Z]

oh wow that puts a new prespective on what happned in that episode! Very nice! PPMS!!

[SVsleuth]

Be sure you read Part 2 first, just posted a few minutes before this one.

GONE - Part 3

(That night. The moon is a sliver in the starry sky. Inside the barn, Lois follows Clark up the stairs to the upper level of the loft.)

Lois: Listen, I really think we're onto something here. I did my research, and it turns out LuthorCorp paid for Chloe's funeral. Why would they do that? It doesn't make any sense.

(Clark doesn't respond. They continue to climb the stairs.)

Lois: I guess the real question to ask would be, why would somebody bury an empty casket for nothing? Right, Clark?

(They get to the top of the stairs, and Clark remains silent, lost in his own thoughts.)

Lois: Clark?

(Clark turns to Lois, looking at her blankly.)

Lois: Wow, she didn't take any prisoners, did she? (Clark doesn't understand.) Lana? Cute, smart, gutsy... and way too much for you to handle. I can see why you're in love with her.

Clark: Look, you're really not the person I want to talk to about this.

Lois: Suit yourself.

(Lois goes to the couch and sits down, pulling her laptop out of her bag and opening it. Clark keeps his back to Lois, eventually realizing that he does in fact want to talk about it.)

Clark: It's just... I knew she'd be dating other people…

Lois: But?

Clark: (Turning to look at Lois.) I just don't understand how you could feel like you know someone so completely, like you know everything about them, and then just all of a sudden...

Lois: You don't even know what continent they're on.

Clark: (Frustrated.) Do you always have to finish people's thoughts?

Lois: Well, am I right?

(Clark lowers his eyes, revealing that Lois is right. Before they can say anymore, a whirring of a helicopter is heard outside the loft. A blinding searchlight shines in through the window and the wind from the propeller sends debris flying into the loft. Clark runs to the window to see what is going on.)

Lois: (Grabbing Clark's arm.) Come on! We gotta go!

(They run to the stairs, but just as they get there, Sam the General is walking up the stairs toward them. He stares at Clark coldly. Then he turns his eyes to Lois.)

Lois: (Unafraid.) Hi, Daddy.

(Clark jerks his head to Lois, surprised. Lois smiles at him.)

***
(Later that night, after Lois has left with the General, Clark finally has time to think, & write in his journal. He sits in his loft, writing.)

CLARK’s JOURNAL
Lana. Lana’s back. Not exactly the way I had envisioned our first meeting when she got back. But then, it still seems like only a few days ago to me that she left. Losing those three months isn’t helping me deal with this. Lana had a “hot summer fling” in Paris? Romantic? Could Lois have been exaggerating about what Lana told her? She does seem to enjoy busting my chops…. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s probably right. Why wouldn’t Lana find someone in Paris to have a good time with? I certainly gave her no reason to think I cared anymore. Not that I could help it, being whisked away to “somewhere” for three months. But, if she found someone special, then why did she come back here? She must have a reason. Maybe she found out about Chloe, so wanted to come back for awhile.

Chloe. Chloe. Lois said to find out the connection to LuthorCorp – why they paid for her funeral. As much as I hate to, I’ll have to go see Lex. I’m sure he must know something. I need to focus on this. Dealing with Lana will have to wait. I’ll go see Lex early tomorrow.

***
LANA’s JOURNAL

(Lana is at the Talon apartment, boxes stacked everywhere. She looks around and finds a semi-comfortable chair hiding in a corner. She clears it off, and plops into it, pulling out her journal. She sighs, then begins to write.)

What an emotional roller coaster I’ve been on. First, the bright light and wind at that church. Then waking up stark naked with this strange tattoo. Then realizing the symbol is like the ones in the caves here in Smallville. And this haunting feeling I have … of some power within me that I don’t understand. It’s scary. So, I decided to come back to Smallville to check out the caves… try to find answers. Then, the roller coaster really got rough.

First, Lex tells me Chloe’s dead. Then, I have to fight some Ginsu guy at the cemetery. Than Lois says Chloe might be alive. Down and up went my hopes. Then, I find out that Clark is together with Lois… They even shower together? How the hell did she get him to do that? How could he change so quickly? It seems only yesterday he was telling me that his feelings for me have never changed…. Showering together? It doesn’t seem like something Clark would do. But then, neither did riding off to Metropolis on a motorcycle… or hanging out in a bar with Jesse when he’d asked me out on a date. I guess I never knew who Clark Kent really is. I guess I never will. That’s why I went to Paris in the first place. Yet, here I am, still dealing with Clark… Showering together? Why is that eating me so much? When I heard it, I nearly lost control of the car. My heart plunged as if to the bottom of the ocean. How does Clark still have the power to do this to me? Why can’t my heart let go of him? When I saw him in that white T-shirt my heart started pounding so hard I thought sure he could see it. Why does Clark do that to me? I never react that way with Jason.

Jason. I haven’t thought of him all day. I really thought my feelings for him were getting more serious. He’s so cute and funny, and so uncomplicated. No secrets, no lies, just fun and adventure. Poor Jason. I guess I didn’t treat him fairly by just leaving a note. But, I didn’t know what to say. I had to come back here.

Now that I’m here, I don’t know what to do. Will I be able to find anything out by going to the caves? I guess that’s the first thing I should do. Just go to the caves and try to find the symbol. I don’t know how much help that will be. I had thought that maybe I could get Clark to help. But with Lois in the picture now, I’m really more inclined to avoid them. I don’t think I can talk to Clark about my secret. So I’m not sure that I’ll make any progress in figuring this thing out. Maybe I should just go back to Paris and try to forget about everything. But I can’t. The tattoo, the feeling of power inside me, the missing twelve hours. I need someone to help me with this. But, I am alone, as always, no one to trust, no one to confide in. I guess I’ll have to do the best I can to figure it out on my own. I sure hope Chloe turns up again. She’d be just the one to help me get to the bottom of this.

***
(Next day, Clark goes to see Lex. Lex tells him to his face that Chloe is dead, but there were no remains left. Clark notices a cigar belonging to The General in an ash tray on Lex’s desk.)

(Clark goes looking for Lois at the military base. They figure out where Chloe is. Clark speeds off to find her, has an encounter with Lex, then rescues Chloe at the Foundry. Lois shows up and helps him defeat Trent – she uses a tazer gun, he uses his heat vision, & Trent is melted away. Clark & Lois are reunited with Chloe & they all leave together. Chloe plans to testify the next day at Lionel’s trial.)

***
Coming tomorrow: GONE - Part 4

Hope you enjoyed the 2 updates in a row. ;)

[Cardinal]

Oh, most definitely. :)

"They even shower together? How the hell did she get him to do that?"

That was sweet!

[4EverSmallville]

In a way I felt sorry for Lana, but it was pretty funny reading her journal entry about Clark & Lois in the shower :p. Great update :D.

[NYC300Z]

Yeah 4ever i felt pretty much the same way...too bad Lana didn't know the truth about what happned with Clark and Lois.

Great Update! PPMS!

[clana4ev3r]

hahahaha..... :lol: thats funny lana talking about lois and Clark in the shower. Maybe she wants to get him in the shower..... hehehe j/k

[binkys711]

she kept going back to thinking about Lois & Clark in the shower:lol: can't wait to see if/when Lois tells Lana the first time Clark and Lois met:p.....PPMS!!!:D:D:D

[MOOman0618]

I very happy to see you had updated...and then there was a second! I had to restrain myself from yelling YAY while at work. Lana is really upset by this shower deal...hmmm

Oh, on the actual show does anybody know how Lana found out about Chloe's 'death'?

[binkys711]

nop! never mentioned.....she just showed up in smallville and went to pay her respects....:\

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by binkys711
nope! never mentioned.....she just showed up in smallville and went to pay her respects....:\
Right, and she didn't even seem upset about it! That's why I thought it had to be Lex who told her.
It wasn't Clark, she hadn't seen him yet. It wasn't Lois, she hadn't met her yet.
Lex was the only one she went to see & had sent a message to, on the show. So it seems like it had to have been Lex - but they should have shown it. Maybe it ended up on the cutting room floor. Deleted scenes on the S4 DVD's anyone? I hope so...

Oh, & sorry if anyone was hoping for an update. I have Part 4 written out by hand (no computer was avaiable to me at the time) but I have to type it out. Sorry, but I spent my PC time today catching up on all of your awesome stories, so I hope I'll get more time later to type & post Part 4.

[MOOman0618]

Originally posted by SVsleuth

Oh, & sorry if anyone was hoping for an update.

No worries! But I will be checking back frequently! Don't trick me again! :p

[Cardinal]

Gaah! That wascally wabbit! She twicked me again!

[SVsleuth]

GONE –Part 4

(A few days later. In the Kent kitchen, Jonathan sits at the dining room table looking at the latest issue of The Daily Planet. A headline in huge bold letters says "GUILTY!" There is a picture of Lionel Luthor in handcuffs, and below the picture in smaller print are the words: "Jury Returns Verdict in High Profile Case." Martha stands next to Jonathan, and Clark is also seated at the table eating dinner.)

Jonathan: It's good to see that there are some things even Lionel Luthor can't buy his way out of.

Clark: Thanks to Chloe.

Jonathan: (Putting down the newspaper.) Clark, as much as I hate to admit this, Lex had a hand in this too. He did make good on his promise to protect Chloe.

Clark: And look what he got out of it. Control of LuthorCorp.

(Jonathan stands and goes into the kitchen and Clark follows.)

Clark: Look, I'm sorry, but it's gonna take a lot more than that for me to get to trust him again.

(Martha follows them both to the kitchen.)

Martha: Ever since he met you, he's been surrounded by things he can't explain. We can't really blame him for trying to find the truth.

(Clark puts his dishes in the sink.)

Clark: The truth is, he's been lying to me from day one. The legend on the cave wall says I'm destined to have an enemy. All this time, I've been worried about Lionel. But I'm beginning to think that the real threat was right in front of me. I think it's Lex.

***NOTE: If you want to read an Alternate CLANA ending for this episode, that continues on with a re-write of S4, stop reading here and go NOW to my Alternate CLANA Scenes thread. Scroll down to Alt. CLANA Scenes: GONE - Part 1 Or click here:Post #43 GONE (http://www.kryptonsite.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=1341335#post1341335) and continue reading in that thread. Enjoy!
***

(Clark goes to the caves, to ponder the legend of Namaan & Segeeth)

(Lana is in the Kawatche caves. Night. She shines a flashlight along the walls looking at the different paintings, looking for a certain familiar one. Clark enters behind her with his own flashlight.)

Clark: Lana.

(Lana turns around, not sure how to explain herself.)

Clark: What are you doing down here?

Lana: Probably the same thing you are.

(Clark waits for her to go on.) It's peaceful.

Clark: You're two for two. You keep showing up when I least expect to see you.

Lana: I'm not trying to surprise you, Clark.

Clark: I know. It's just when you left, I wasn't sure when I'd see you again.

Lana: It's funny, isn't it. After everything we've been through, I thought it would take us longer to get over it.

Clark: Us? (He’s thinking, “I thought it would take you longer to get over it – a hot summer fling? Romantic? – I’m certainly not over it. My feelings have never changed.”)

Lana: You and Lois. (She’s thinking, “Taking a shower together?)

Clark: Lois?

(Clark realizes what Lana is implying. He denies it.)

Clark: She's bossy.

(Lana smiles, not believing him. Clark continues, trying to prove his point.)

Clark: She's stuck up, she's rude. I can't stand her.

(Lana smiles and nods.)

Lana: The best ones always start that way.

(Clark looks at Lana, not responding. Lana looks past Clark and sees the symbol she's been looking for on the wall, the one that is on her back.)

Lana: Do you believe in destiny?

(Lana goes to the wall and shines her flashlight on the symbol.)

Clark: I don't want to.

Lana: But you can't escape it, can you? Even if you don't know what it is yet?

(Lana is standing with her back to Clark. Her back is now covered so Clark can't see the tattoo.)

Clark: Lana, what is it you're not telling me? Does it have something to do with this guy you met?

Lana: No, no. Um, no it doesn't. (She turns to him.) But I'm sorry that you found out the way you did. I should go.

(Lana leaves. Clark looks around unhappily, and his eyes land on the painting of Naman and Sageeth.)

[ClanaLover]

:)

[SmallvilleMan]

You know, i hated everything about that episode. Especially the clana interaction, i thought the first time they saw each other should have meant more than it did. Not to mention the second time as well. Please tell me you're doing alternate scenes for this episode as well. By the way, awesome job as always;)

[SVsleuth]

GONE –Part 5

CLARK’s JOURNAL

I was surprised to find Lana in the caves. I don’t remember her ever really being interested in them. I don’t think she was there just because it was peaceful. She seemed to be interested in the symbols on the wall. She seemed intrigued with the one that is a double “L.” Funny. L.L. Lana Lang. How ironic that her interest was in the symbol for her own initials! Something was on her mind. I could tell.

Then she started talking about destiny. Destiny. What a choice of words for her to use in the caves. “Do you believe in destiny?” she asked me. I was honest. I told her I don’t want to. If only she knew. Am I really destined to have a friend who becomes my enemy? Am I really destined to protect the entire world? Am I really destined to rule the Earth? Am I really destined to be with a certain woman – the one Kyla pointed out on the cave wall? Will I ever know who it is I’m destined to be with, to give Kyla’s bracelet to?

I always thought it was Lana. But somehow, circumstances keep tearing us apart. I’d hoped that if I let her go, that things would be different when she returned. I’d hoped that she would miss me as much as I miss being with her. I’d hoped that when she came back, I could finally tell her everything. But, she met some guy in Paris – had a “romantic fling.” I wonder what that really means. I wonder just how serious she got with this guy. Well, she did leave him in Paris and come back here. Maybe things didn’t work out with him. Is there a chance she came back to see me? Could there be a chance she came back to sort out her feelings for me? She said it had nothing to do with the new guy. She didn’t say it had nothing to do with me.

Oh, this is just wishful thinking! Lana seems so distant since she returned. For some reason it’s really awkward when she’s around. She seems really uncomfortable to be around me. She said she was planning to tell me about the guy. She said she is sorry that I found out about him the way I did. Doesn’t that show that she cares at least a little about how I feel?

She must be really mad at me, though. I mean, I did abandon her at the airport, and I didn’t even contact her once while she was in Paris. She must think I’ve really forgotten about her. She must have been really hurt – again. I hope I get a chance to straighten things out with her. I don’t know how I can explain. But that’s the story of my life, isn’t it? Never knowing how to explain.

Lana seemed to think that I am interested in Lois. I wonder how she ever got that idea? It certainly wasn’t from my less than enthusiastic greeting to Lois when she intruded on my reunion with Lana. I wonder if Lois said something to make Lana think that. Lois. All she is – is trouble. I wish I had never invited her to stay here. Well, she did help me find Chloe. And that’s why she came. So, hopefully, she’ll be leaving soon, and I can have my own room back.

Me and Lois? How could Lana think that? Can I even think of anything that I like about her? Well, I have to admit she looked kinda hot when I peeked out of the shower curtain and saw her bare legs – and she was wearing only my shirt. But lots of girls have fine legs. Personality, though. Lois doesn’t have much of that at all. She’s bossy. She’s rude. She pushes her way into my life. She seems to enjoy torturing me, getting me in trouble. She somehow gets me to open up, and then interrupts me, never letting me finish my own thoughts. Yet, she seems to almost be able to read my mind. At least she doesn’t seem to be overly curious about the strange things she’s seen around me: finding me as Kal-El in the field, having amnesia, regaining my memory, crashing the helicopter, knowing that Chloe’s casket was empty, beating her to finding Chloe… For that I am grateful. Lois seems to be willing to forget the strange things that happen around me and just move on. That is kind of refreshing. I guess I found something to like about Lois after all.

But I certainly don’t want Lana thinking that Lois & I are together. I really was hoping that Lana & I could patch things up, make a new start. I really want one more chance to show her that this time it will be different. This time I’ll be honest with her, and tell her everything. I know I’ve hurt Lana so many times. It won’t be easy to get her to take another chance on me. But I have to try. I can’t let Lana walk out of my life again.

I wish I knew what’s going on with her. I wish I knew what it is that’s bothering her. I wish she’d open up to me. (Clark chuckles to himself.) I guess Lana’s been wishing these same things about me – so many times. I guess I’m getting a taste of how it’s felt for her all this time: feeling shut-out, and unable to help the one you care about. I guess I’ll have to be patient and re-build Lana’s trust in me slowly. Then we’ll have to see where our destinies take us.

***

LANA’s JOURNAL

Why did I have to bump into Clark in the caves? It is so awkward being around him now. And he doesn’t even have the guts to admit to me that he’s together with Lois. Same old Clark: lies and cover-ups. Why would he want to hide it from me? I’m so sick of all the deception. I wish Jason were here. I could use some of his lighthearted humor right now, some of his playfulness and his adventurous spirit. Free. Open. No secrets. Just fun.

So, what did I find out in the caves? I did see the symbol on the wall. I was right: the symbol on the cave wall is identical to the one on Countess Theroux’s tomb – and to my tattoo. So, what now? What does it mean? How are they connected? Maybe I was destined to go to Paris and find the connection to these caves. Do I believe in destiny? This whole thing – it was not my choice. It just happened to me, without my consent. It seems as if I was somehow meant to find that tomb, and touch that symbol, and get that tattoo – and experience this strange sense of power within me. What is it for? How do I tap into it? What does it have to do with the caves? Why me? Why now? So many unanswered questions. They seem to keep multiplying.

Coming back here – that was my choice. What if I had chosen differently? What if I had stayed in Paris and taken that motorcycle trip to Nice with Jason? Would it have changed my destiny? The tattoo would remain; the feeling of power would remain; and the questions would remain. I guess if I am destined for something then my destiny will somehow be revealed to me.

How can I find out more? The only person who seems to know anything about those caves is Clark. But I can barely speak to him – the way I am feeling around him – awkward, hurt, confused, angry. How could I trust him with my secret? But if I don’t, how can I get the secretive Clark Kent to reveal anything to me of his knowledge of the caves? He’s never opened up to me, even when we were together. Why would he do it now that things are so complicated?

Clark actually asked me what it is that I’m not telling him. I had to resist the urge to ask him what it is that he has been keeping from me. For a second, I considered telling him about the tomb and the tattoo. But then he brought up Jason. Does he think I came here to sort out my feelings for Jason? If that’s what he’s thinking, how can I start talking about strange power, bright lights, tattoos, and twelve lost hours? No, the situation just wasn’t right for it yet.

Why did he bring up Jason? Is he curious about what kind of guy I’ve been dating in Paris? Might he be even a little jealous? Might he still have some of those feelings for me? – Wait! – Who am I kidding? Clark’s taking showers with Lois. He must have erased any feelings he ever had for me, if he’s doing that. Anyway, why do I care? All Clark has to offer are lies and secrets.

Secrets. I guess I have my own secrets now. I haven’t told anyone. Will I become as secretive and isolated as Clark? What if his secrets do have something to do with the symbols and the caves? What if my secret is somehow connected to his? Well, if it is, I guess destiny will reveal itself, in time. Do I believe in destiny? I think I’m beginning to. Yeah.

***

[ClanaLover]

:)

[SVsleuth]

GONE –Part 6

Lana sets her journal aside and starts unpacking boxes.

Alone inside the empty building, Lana stands at the top of the stairs outside the apartment. She tosses an empty cardboard box over the railing where it lands next to several others. She walks back to the apartment and stops when she hears the door open downstairs. “I wonder who that could be? Lex? Clark?” she thinks. She goes to the railing and looks down expectantly.

(Jason Teague is looking up at her with a bouquet of flowers.)

Jason: (Quietly.) Hi.

(Lana is still too stunned to respond.)

Jason: I'm freaking you out with the whole Cary Grant moment, aren't I?

(Lana laughs breathlessly and comes down the stairs.)

Lana: What are you doing here?

Jason: Giving you time.

(He hands her the bouquet.)

Lana: They're beautiful.

(Jason pulls a note out of his pocket and unfolds it.)

Jason: I, uh, found this. (He reads.) "Jason, I had to go back home. I wish I had time to explain." So now you do.

(Lana smiles.)

Lana: I'm sorry, Jason, I, uh... I don't know what to say.

Jason: It's okay. It's all right. You know, I kept trying to convince myself that this wasn't about me, but... you can't really put that in a note, can you?

(Lana doesn't answer, and Jason takes that as a cue to leave. He turns away and walks toward the door.)

Lana: Wait.

(Jason stops and turns around.)

Lana: Jason, I'm not sorry to see you. You know, it's just, you came all this way, and I - I wish I had a better explanation for you.

Jason: For why you left Paris or why you left me?

Lana: You know how I feel about you. That hasn't changed. But I can't go back.

Jason: Lana, I didn't come here to get you. I came here to be with you.

(Lana smiles thankfully at Jason. He leans down to her and they kiss slowly and warmly.)

***
LANA’s JOURNAL

I couldn’t believe it when I saw Jason standing there! He actually traveled all the way here from Paris just to be with me – even after I just left him so abruptly. He didn’t press me for an explanation. I’m glad. He’s willing to stay here with me. It’s enough for him to know that my feelings for him haven’t changed.

Lana’s thoughts drift to a memory.

Clark: Lana, my feelings for you have never changed.

Lana: I guess a part of me knows that…

Clark: Lana, how many times have we been standing here avoiding what we both want?

Lana: That's because every time you let me get close, it hurts that much more when you leave. You can't keep changing the rules.

Clark: I'm sorry, Lana, I never meant to hurt you. But I promise, I'm not going to leave this time.

Lana: Maybe I am.

I’m the one who pulled away from Clark. When he told me his feelings hadn’t changed… it wasn’t enough for me. I had to have all the explanations first.

Jason’s better than I was. He’s not asking for explanations. He’s glad to just be together, knowing that my feelings for him haven’t changed. They haven’t – have they? No, they haven’t. I still care for Jason – a lot. We had so much fun together in Paris. He makes life fun and uncomplicated. I love him for that. And I’m not going to let my old feelings for Clark come to the surface and ruin my chance to be happy with Jason. Clark’s moved on anyway. Those old feelings must be buried now.

I’m glad Jason followed me here. He must really care about me to come all the way to Smallville just to be with me. I hope he stays a long time. And maybe someday I’ll feel comfortable enough to tell him the real reason I left Paris to come back to Smallville. I hope so. Because I don’t want to have to be secretive and make up explanations. I’ve always wanted honesty and openness in a relationship. And I still do. I’m just glad Jason’s willing to be patient with me and not pressure me. Someday the time will be right and I’ll tell him everything. I hope it won’t change the way he feels about me. I hope he’ll say that nothing ever could.

Lana’s thoughts drift to another memory.

Lana: This might sound silly... but I have this fear that-- that one day you'll finally get a good look at me and... I'm going to disappoint you. That you'll see that I'm not as strong or as good as you think I am. And I'm afraid that it'll change the way you feel about me.

Clark steps closer to her.

Clark: Nothing could ever do that.

Lana looks up into his eyes for a moment and then walks closer to him. She reaches out and takes his hands in hers.

Lana: Maybe it's me that needs to start believing in you.

Clark, why do memories of you constantly push their way to the surface? Even when I’m thinking about Jason. We tried so many times to find happiness together, Clark. But all we found was pain. I want to be happy. There are no more chances for us, Clark. But maybe I can find happiness in my life. Maybe I can find it – with Jason. I’m moving on, Clark. You seem to have done so – with Lois. I hope you can find happiness too.

***
End of GONE I think the next post will be on the Alternate CLANA thread, for GONE. I haven’t worked on it yet, so it may be a few days. Hope you enjoyed the double & triple updates.[/b]:)

P.S. Thanks for the buffer posts, ClanaLover! - Mom :)

[Cardinal]

Hooray! I'm not a big fan of this episode, but good job anyway!

[SmallvilleMan]

Mom? What the heck?:eek: :confused:

[4EverSmallville]

Extremely well written. I could feel Clark & Lana's emotions perfectly. Both their confusion, passion, and Lana's bittersweet memories. Terrific update, well done :D.

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by SmallvilleMan
Mom? What the heck?:eek: :confused:

Yep. ClanaLover is my daughter. We watch Smallville together. Mother/daughter bonding?
I wanted to be able to edit my typos, so needed buffers. None of y'all were here when I started it. So I asked her. ;)

[Cardinal]

It kinda hurts watching those two morons drifting apart because they won't talk to each other. Each one assumes that he/she knows what's happening in the other's life. Grrrrr!

[NYC300Z]

Yes I just caught all three updates!! Very sad how Lana believes Lois and Clark are together! oh man Lois really screwed things up for Clark... very well written! Can't wait for the alternate scenes for gone even if it takes a day or two.

[SVsleuth]

I know it's painful guys. I'm working on the Alternate scene, and I just posted Part 1! Part 2 probably won't be up till late Sunday, at the earliest. Got a busy weekend plannned. Be sure to read the triple update posted here last night first, then go read Part 1 of the Alt. Scenes for GONE, in the Alt. CLANA Scenes thread. Have a nice weekend. ;)

[binkys711]

awww..thanxz for the triple update!!! can't wait 'till the alternate clana endings!....PPMS!!!:D hope ya have a nice weekend also!:D:p

[ajfinn]

Great emotional recaps, SVSleuth. You've really got their feelings down, as awful as it is to suffer through :D But, we'll all be seeing yummy Clana soon, won't we??? Keep up the great work!

[booze_is_me09]

PPM of the heartbreaking

[MOOman0618]

Originally posted by SVsleuth
Yep. ClanaLover is my daughter. We watch Smallville together. Mother/daughter bonding?
I wanted to be able to edit my typos, so needed buffers. None of y'all were here when I started it. So I asked her. ;)

How cute! Must be nice to have a Smallville addicted family! I, sadly, am all alone in my unhealthy obsession!

Great Updates…just read all three of them. I love the insights I get into the characters that the show really doesn’t go into. So when do you think Lana realized that Clark and Lois aren’t together, and they didn’t actually shower together? Hmmmmm….

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by MOOman0618
So when do you think Lana realized that Clark and Lois aren’t together, and they didn’t actually shower together? Hmmmmm….

I'm not sure she ever does. Here's a preview of the future: Lana becomes wrapped up in Jason, & Lois & Clark do spend a lot of time together in Facade & Devoted. Then Lois goes to Met U until she re-appears in Spell. While Lois is gone, Lana & Clark have a few interesting interactions, especially in Transference. She's pretty ticked at him.

Soon Alicia shows up, so at least by Pariah, Lana must think that Clark has left Lois behind & moved on to Alicia. In Recruit, Lois moves back in with the Kents, so who knows what Lana might think about it.

By Krypto, Lana is beginning to distrust Jason.... In Sacred Lana chooses to trust Clark.... In Lucy Lana tests Jason & he fails the test.... In Onyx, Lana trusts Clark again.... And we all know that in Spirit, Lana & Clark dance together..... and the CLANA begins... Blank: "This time will be different".... Ageless: "I guess we should make the most of the time we have before it's too late." Forever: Lana & Clark seem to be on much closer terms than they have been all year, hanging out together, etc., glad they may both be staying in Smallville.... Commenecement: Lana trusts Clark with the stone, & they say I love you..... and on to Season 5.....

Hope you like my little preview of my take on Smallville & what I'll be empahasizing in The Clana Journals.

[Cardinal]

Oh, wow. You've got your storyline all sketched out! I'm jealous! By the time I finish a chapter, the only thing I know about the next one is where it will start...and nothing about several chapters down the road.

Oh well. Thanks for the preview! It gave me an excuse to stop hacking away at my story.

[binkys711]

BOOYAH!!!I can't wait!!!:D

[4EverSmallville]

I love the Journals & the previews :D. I can't wait to see, the journals are great because I've just recently watched SV through Crusade, and whenever I see a Clana scene I remember the journal entries. Often one of the characters will say something or make an expression and I'll think back to the journals and know that was probably what they were thinking at the time.

Cardinal's right, you are lucky lol. You already know everything about what's going to happen, I just have a shadow of an idea in my story :lol:. One chapter just snowballs into the next, I can't wait to see your take on where this one ends up :).

[NYC300Z]

previews more like a quick over view oh well can't wait for the next update!

[SVsleuth]

I haven't forgotten about this thread. I've just been busy with the Alt. CLANA Scenes thread (where I've decided to continue Alt. GONE as a S4 re-write.). I hope to do the next episode here within the next few days. Thanks for reading.

[C.A.chick]

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

POST ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

[Cardinal]

(Referring to last post)

What she said...definitely.

[SVsleuth]

FAÇADE – Part 1

Lana is walking down the hallway holding a folded up piece of paper with her name written on it. She smiles excitedly as she stops outside the coach's office. She opens the door and goes inside where she finds Jason putting books on a shelf. She laughs and closes the door behind her.

Lana: Hey.

They kiss. Then, Lana holds up the note.

Lana: A note through the vent of my locker. Very creative.

Jason: Well, I pride myself on being able to revert back to the fourth grade.

Lana: What are you doing here? If we get caught, I could get detention.

Jason: I could get fired.

Lana looks at him strangely. Before he can explain, there is a knock on the door and they step away from each other as Clark enters the office.

Clark: (To Jason.) Coach Teague.

Lana looks at Jason disbelievingly.

Clark: I'm Clark Kent.

They shake hands.

Jason: Hi.

Clark: (Noticing Lana.) Lana. What are you doing here?

Lana: Um, I, uh--

Jason: The principal asked this young lady to give me the grand tour.

Clark looks at Jason as Lana tries to hold back her laughter at Jason's lie.

Jason: It's good to meet you, Clark.

Clark: You know, they didn't tell me you were Jason Teague. (To Lana) This guy threw a passing record his freshman year at Metropolis University. He could've gone pro.

Jason: Yeah, well, now I'm just a transfer to Central Kansas A & M. It's amazing how quickly you fall off a recruiter's list when you tear your rotator cuff.

Lana: Well, then, I, uh, I guess we're lucky to have you here, coach.

Jason: Assistant coach... Miss Lang.

Lana mouths the words "Miss Lang" trying not to let Clark see how strange that sounds coming from Jason.

Jason: (To Clark.) Um, Quigley's still gonna be calling the plays for you guys.

Clark: Well, actually, I'm not on the team. (He glances at Lana.) I was hoping I could try out.

Jason: You look big enough. Sure.

Lana looks at Clark, surprised.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

I’m going to do it. I’m going to try out for the football team. This is my last shot. This is senior year. I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines, wishing for what everyone else has. It’s time to do something about it.

Coach Teague seems really cool. Lana seemed to be acting a little strange in his office. I thought I saw her mouthing “Miss Lang” back to him & trying not to laugh. Has she met him before? Maybe that’s it.

Lana seemed surprised that I was trying out for the team. She knows that freshman year I only tried out to get close to her. I guess she wonders why I’m doing it now. But now it’s different. It has nothing to do with Lana. I just want a chance to play like everyone else. I just want to be able to live a normal life. I wish my dad could understand it. I’m so tired of being different. I know he won’t sign the permission slip. Should I just sign his name? I’ve just got to play this year. I guess I’ll do what I’ve got to do.

***

Next day

Clark is getting dressed in his football uniform in the boys' locker room. There are several other guys in the room, and Jason enters with a clipboard.

Jason: Hey, Kent. I need your permission slip, bud.

Clark pulls a yellow slip of paper from his backpack and hands it to Jason. He smiles somewhat nervously.

Jason: What positions have you played?

Clark: None, actually. I've never been on a team before. My father wasn't too keen on the whole idea.

Jason: Your dad doesn't know you're here, does he? (Clark becomes more nervous.) When it comes to defying fathers, I'm kind of a pro.

Clark: I'm not doing this for him.

Jason: You know, I've seen a lot of guys join the team just so they can walk around in a letterman's jacket, because they want people to look at them differently. But football's just a game. If you want to change, you gotta do that yourself.

Clark: That's why I'm here.

They look at each other for a moment.

Jason: All right. Let's see what you got.
Jason leaves the locker room. Clark smiles triumphantly and slams his locker shut.

***
Out on the football field one of the team hopefuls does a tire run across the field, his feet landing perfectly through the holes of a line of tires laid out on the grass. When he successfully gets to the end, he slaps the hand of one of the other players who is watching. A whistle blows.

Coach Quigley tosses a football to Clark.

Quigley: All right, Kent. Prove something to us.

Clark tosses the ball to Jason and puts on his helmet. He looks at Jason with some trepidation, and Jason gestures to the field, encouraging Clark. Clark then walks over to a group of guys and they get into position to play. One guy bends over in front of Clark, holding the ball to the ground, and Clark stands behind him, ready to receive it.

Guy: All right, guys! On two!

Clark: Hut! Hut!

The guy in front of Clark passes the ball to him, and Clark throws it across the field with so much force that the guy who catches it is knocked to the ground. Both Jason and Clark smile. Jason goes to Clark.

Jason: All right. That'll work. (He pats Clark on the chest.) Line up again, guys.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Coach Teague is really cool. He knows my dad didn’t give me permission to play, but he’s letting me try out anyway. I think he really wants to give me a shot. I’m going to like him.

***

Next day. Clark enters the boys' locker room. There are several guys wearing only towels, changing after their showers. Lois walks into the locker room, following Clark, not intimidated in the least. Clark tries to stop her from going any farther.

Clark: Hey, hey! The last time I checked, you were missing a few prerequisites for being in here.

Lois: (Smug) So you have been checking me out.

Some of the guys laugh in surprise when they see Lois.

Clark: Lois, just wait outside.

Lois: Are you kidding? Tortured senior can't keep up the hometown hero act and buckles? This is as juicy as my teen cosmetic surgery article.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Lois. She thinks I’ve been “checking her out?” Why would I? She’s so annoying. I was so embarrassed to be with her when she just barged into the boys’ locker room. She’s certainly not the shy type.

***

Inside the Talon, Lex opens a cardboard box and pushes aside the bubble wrapping to reveal a book called “The Hieroglyphs of Meso-America." Lana comes down the stairs behind him.

Lana: Do you make a habit of going through other people's mail?

Lex: Sorry, the box was addressed to the Talon. (He shows her the book.) Something tells me this isn't a book of the month selection.

He pulls another book out of the box that is written in a foreign language.

Lex: What's with this fascination with ancient writings?

Lana: (Pause.) School project.

Lex drops the books back into the box.

Lex: Must be the same project Clark's always working on. (He turns and walks toward the bar.) For two people so different, you have remarkably similar interests.

Lana picks up another book from the box and the cover features the symbol that has been mysteriously tattooed onto her lower back. Lex's back is to Lana, and he doesn't notice her surprise. He looks around at the empty coffee house as Lana puts the book back in the box.

Lex: It still amazes me what you did with this place. You saw promise in something everyone else thought was beyond redemption.

Lana: Huh. This is a side of Lex Luthor I've never seen before. (Walking toward Lex with a smile.) You're coming dangerously close to being nostalgic.

Lex looks at Lana with a small smile.
***
LANA’s JOURNAL

I ordered some books about ancient writings the other day, & they arrived today. I hope they will give me the answers I’m looking for. I was so surprised to see the symbol from Isabelle’s tomb, the one on my tattoo, right on the cover of one of the books. I hope I can figure it out without having to ask Clark. Lex said Clark’s always been working on a project involving those symbols too. I wonder why he is so interested in them. Could he have a secret reason, like me? I know he does have secrets. I wish we were on better terms. It might be so much easier for us to solve this mystery together. But I can’t ask him now. Things are too awkward, with Lois… - & now Jason’s here.

Jason. It’s going to be really strange having him be a coach at my school. Now we’ll have to conceal our relationship. More secrets to hide. I hate having so many things to hide from everyone. Secrets. Lies. – Funny; the very things I couldn’t tolerate from Clark. And here I am with my own secrets & lies. What kind of hypocrite am I? But what choice do I have? I can’t just not date Jason. He came all the way from Paris to be with me. I guess I’ll have to try to live this secret life for awhile.

I wish I could get rid of this tattoo. I wish I could just forget everything that happened. Maybe I can have it removed. Maybe Abby’s mom can help. Yeah. I’ll go see her tomorrow.

***

Coming soon - FACADE - Part 2

[Cardinal]

Originally posted by SVsleuth
FAÇADE – Part 1

I hate having so many things to hide from everyone. Secrets. Lies. – Funny; the very things I couldn’t tolerate from Clark.

*Cue Alanis Morissette*

Isn't it ironic,
Don'tcha think?

[SmallvilleMan]

You know what they say about irony? *Thinks for a couple seconds.* Neither do I.:lol: Good update.

[Cardinal]

Originally posted by SVsleuth
FAÇADE – Part 1

Lex: It still amazes me what you did with this place. You saw promise in something everyone else thought was beyond redemption.



I know this was an original line from the show, but I love the double meaning here. By this time, there is no doubt left that Lex is after Lana.

[SVsleuth]

***FAÇADE – Part 2***

Next day. Lana is lying on her stomach on the table in Dr. Fine's office. Her shirt is lifted up just far enough so that her tattoo is exposed and Dr. Fine is using a blade to take a small scraping of skin. Lana grimaces slightly.

Dr. Fine: You're not the first person to walk through that door with tattoo remorse. But you're the first one to do it without ink.

Dr. Fine puts the skin sample in a dish and walks to the counter. Confused, Lana sits up.

Lana: What?

Dr. Fine: Whatever this pigment is, it's almost as though the symbol were branded underneath your skin. Someone wanted to leave a mark you wouldn't easily forget.

Lana: But you can still remove it, right?

Dr. Fine: Well, I'll have to send this tissue sample up to the lab, but I am guessing removal won't be possible without a complete skin graft.

Lana sighs unhappily.

Dr. Fine: But we'll see.

***

LANA’s JOURNAL

Dr. Fine said the symbol was branded under my skin. It’s not a normal tattoo? It wasn’t made with ink? This is really more strange than I thought. What made this symbol? Who made this symbol on my back? Why did they do it? How did they do it? So many questions. And no answers.

***

Smallville High School. Night. Inside, Jason leads Lana by the hand into a dark room and closes the door behind them. The only light comes through the translucent window in the door, and even that isn't very bright.

Jason: Yeah. Okay.

He flips on the lights revealing a large room with all types of costumes hanging along each wall. There is a spinning mirror ball in the middle of the ceiling reflecting little spots of light that chase each other around the room. There are also several antique chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. In the middle of the room are several full length mirrors.

Jason: It's the old drama room.

Lana: (Amazed.) Wow. (She laughs.) This is an interesting detour from the coach's office.

Jason: Mm-hmm.

Lana: I didn't even know this room existed.

Lana walks farther into the room and starts to look around at all the elaborate costumes and set pieces.

Jason: Yep. Neither does anyone else, hopefully.

Lana: I still can't believe that you have a job at my school.

Jason: I know. I guess I'm gonna have to get used to my guys drooling over you.

Lana: I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Jason: Yeah? What about Clark Kent? (He thinks, “I noticed how uncomfortable Lana was in his presence. I wonder if he was the guy who hurt her before Paris?”)

Lana doesn't respond right away. Jason raises his eyebrows as he waits for an answer.

Lana: I thought that you said you had a surprise for me. How did this become about Clark?

Jason: It was strange. He kind of opened up to me today.

Lana walks toward Jason who is now standing in the middle of the room.

Lana: You have no idea how strange that really is.

Jason: Really?

Lana: Yeah. (She thinks, “Clark opened up to Jason? How strange is that!")

Jason sits down on a closed costume chest and Lana sits on the floor at his feet, resting her arms in his lap.

Jason: Well, the thing is, you know, running the drills and putting together a good team is one thing, but having guys like Clark come to me for advice? It's not gonna be so easy when these guys are looking at me like I'm an adult and I still feel like I'm part of the team.

Lana looks at him warmly.

Jason: But this moment isn't about me.

Lana: No?

Jason: Mnh-mnh.

Lana: Mmm.

Jason reaches into his back pocket.

Jason: Hold on.

Lana: Okay.

Jason pulls out a red piece of cloth.

Jason: It's about this.

Lana: Oh, dear. That would be a blindfold.

Jason: (Standing up, teasing.) Yes, it would.

Lana: (Nervous.) Okay.

Jason kneels behind Lana and puts the blindfold over her eyes.

Lana: So, what do you think you're gonna get out of this?

Jason: Oh, nothing. We never really got to celebrate somebody's birthday.

Lana: Right.

Jason: So... you stay right here.

Lana: (Reluctant, but giving in.)
Okay.

Jason: Okay.

Jason stands up and starts to leave the room.

Jason: Don't peek.

While Jason is gone Abby comes in, kisses Lana, & Lana freaks out & is cut by the mirror.

***

Lana is unconscious in a hospital bed. Clark stands in the hallway looking in at her through the window. Chloe comes down the hallway and walks to Clark.

Chloe: Hey. How's she doing?

Clark: She's pretty cut up. They gave her a sedative, but she keeps saying, "Don't let him see me" over and over again.

Chloe: It's like some kind of breakdown.

Clark: When they brought Brett in, he was acting the same way. The only thing they could find in common is a spike in their serotonin levels.

Chloe: Serotonin?

Clark: It's a brain chemical--

Chloe: That LSD and hallucinogens mimic. It's also the word that Lois misspelled three times in her slander piece on extreme makeovers...

Clark: Yeah, but Lana and Brett are hardly candidates for plastic surgery.

Chloe: Yeah, but Abby was. Didn't Lana say she saw Brett with Abby right before he went crazy? Maybe this procedure made her more beast than beauty.

Pondering this, Clark looks through the window at Lana again.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

I can’t stand to see Lana unconscious in that hospital bed! I feel so helpless. With all my abilities, I can’t save her. Well, maybe it’s not my abilities that can help, but good old detective work. I think I’ll go see Chloe at the Torch. Maybe we can figure out what’s going on.

***
Coming Next: FACADE - Part 3

[luckykentcharm21]

ooooo more please

[Cardinal]

Woo-hoo! Double updates...it's like double coupons at the grocery store! :)

[SVsleuth]

That's all for tonight. It was originally 1 part, but too long, so I had to split it. Sorry the 2nd is so short on the journals.

[SmallvilleMan]

You should be;)

[Cardinal]

No more Jalana tonight, dang. :( Wait, this is a Clana site, so that's a good thing!

Except we need to get past the Jalana to get back to the Clana...I'm so confused! :p

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by Cardinal
I know this was an original line from the show, but I love the double meaning here. By this time, there is no doubt left that Lex is after Lana.

Yeah, I almost added a line of what Lex might be thinking, something like," Maybe Clark has given up on me, but Lana still has hope for me. Maybe Lana can keep the darkness at bay."

[NYC300Z]

Just read both updates! Yeah the Jason and Lana...can't wait for then to get past that 0h well....ppms!

[SVsleuth]

Hey, I was wrong. I'm posting Part 3 now after all:

FAÇADE – Part 3

(Chloe & Clark figure out the connection to Dr. Fine & that Lois had already gone there.)

Clark super speeds to Dr. Fine’s office & into the procedure room and crashes through the glass door. He grabs the cover of the machine that hovers over Lois and pulls it off the table before it is completely lowered onto Lois.

Lois: Clark?

Green smoke starts to rise from the tubes and fill the room. Clark is suddenly weakened and begins to gasp as he stumbles away from the table. Dr. Fine walks up to Clark and hits him across the face with a large metal object. He falls to the ground. Dr. Fine then walks toward the table where Lois kicks her in the face, knocking her off her feet. Lois unfastens the straps holding her down and slides of the table. She sees Clark struggling on the floor.

Lois: Clark! Are you okay?

Clark: Get me out of here.

Lois: Okay.

Lois grabs Clark’s arm and helps him stand up. Behind them, Dr. Fine grabs a scalpel that has fallen to the floor next to her and picks it up. She stands up and comes after Lois and Clark with it, but before she can do any harm, Lois turns around and kicks her in the chest, sending her back to the floor.

Lois: Bi***.

Lois helps Clark out of the office.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Lois had to save me – and she didn’t grill me about why. Just like when she found me naked in that field. She doesn’t pry. I wonder why? I’m glad for it. It’s good to not be forced to lie about it. I guess Lois isn’t so bad – sometimes.

I hope Lana will be okay after she gets some of the Serythro medication. I’m glad Chloe & I could help figure it out. It sure was scary seeing Lana so helpless in the hospital. I wish I could tell her how much I still care about her. I wish she knew that my feelings for her have never changed. But there seems to be a rift between us. I don’t know how to close the gap. She seems to avoid me. I guess she really has moved on. I wonder what became of that guy she met in Paris? Does she still talk to him? Did they break up? I guess I’ll never know. She certainly isn’t about to tell me anything.

***

Inside her apartment, Lana talks to Jason. The cuts on her face are starting to heal.

Lana: I don't know how to tell you this without sounding really stuck up.

Jason: (Joking) I already know you're stuck up. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about that.

Lana: You're funny.

Jason: Yeah, and cute, huh?

Lana: Okay, Jason, look I'm being serious.

Jason: All right
.
Lana: Back in freshman year, I, uh, made the cheerleading squad, and that was my whole identity. Putting on the face that I thought everyone wanted to see.

Lana looks at Jason waiting for a reaction. He waits for her to go on. She turns away from him and speaks again.

Lana: I keep thinking of all the times that you've told me that I'm beautiful, and, um... I can't help but wonder how much of me you really see.

Jason walks around Lana so he can look at her face.

Jason: Lana, I tell you you're beautiful because of who you are, not because of what I see. I mean, you're the girl I flew halfway across the world to be with. The girl who kicks the crap out of me at XBox and thinks it's hysterical.

Lana laughs.

Jason: I mean, I have seen you with the stomach flu where your eyes were puffy and your nose was running, you're yakking--

Lana: Okay, okay. I get the picture.

Jason: All I'm saying is the reasons I love you... it's not something you can see in a mirror.

Lana looks at Jason seriously, touched.

Jason: That's good. I'm gonna write that down and use that later.

Lana laughs and they hug.

***
LANA’s JOURNAL

That was a really strange experience. To see my face all scarred in that mirror – and then to have it crash down on me & cut my face. I never really thought much about it when a guy would tell me I am beautiful. Whitney must have said it a million times. Clark even said so once. And Jason has told me many times. But what is it they really see? Just a pretty face? Or do they really see me? What is it that attracts them to me? Do they really see beyond my face to the person that I am? Jason tried to reassure me that he does see more than a pretty face. He seemed sincere. But would he really stay with me if I were scarred for life? I’m not so sure. He did seem concerned about other guys drooling over me.

She remembers the conversation before her accident.

(FLASHBACK)
Jason: I guess I'm gonna have to get used to my guys drooling over you.

Lana: I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Jason: Yeah? What about Clark Kent?

(END FLASHBACK)

How did Jason know that I have a history with Clark? I never told him anything about Clark. Did Clark tell him something? Did he see Clark watching me or something? Does Clark still watch me? I wonder if he still…? Nah… He has Lois now. Every time I see him, she’s walking right beside him. I guess they’re pretty inseparable. I thought I even saw them coming out of the boys’ locker room together. I wonder what they were doing in there. - - Why do I care? Clark is history. I’m with Jason now. It still bothers me that Jason & I have to keep our relationship secret. I ran away from secrets & lies, & yet here they are again – with Jason. Well, at least he’s not keeping anything from me. It’s just us keeping a secret from everyone else. That’s got to be a little bit better than the way things were with Clark.

***
Chloe: (To Lois) Whatever. Say what you want, but I know inside, it's getting to you. Welcome to the bullpen, Miss Lane. (She starts to walk away.) Now, I'm off to see Clark Kent in a wet T-shirt. Care to join me?

Lois: (Following her.) Like I've never seen that before.

CUT TO the pep rally on the football field outside the school. Lois throws a football at the target of the dunk tank and misses. Clark, who is sitting above the tank in a T-shirt and shorts, smiles at Lois teasingly. Jason tosses another football to Lois who is standing next to Chloe. A large group of students watches excitedly.

Jason: Keep your eye on the target.

Clark: Come on, Lois! Didn't those guys on the base teach you anything?

Lois: Wouldn't you like to know?

Chloe laughs. Clark gestures at the target, urging Lois to take her shot.

Lois: Doesn't matter 'cause you are going down.

Clark: That'll be the day.

The students watching all start to chant.

Everyone: Dunk! Dunk! Dunk! Dunk! Dunk! Dunk!

Lois pulls back her arm and chucks the football at the target, hitting it dead center. Clark drops into the water tank with a splash. Lois throws up her arms and cheers.

Lois: Whoo!

Chloe laughs as she and the rest of the students cheer and clap. Lois runs to the tank as Clark stands up, soaking wet, with a huge smile on his face.

Lois reaches out musses his wet hair, then turns and starts to walk back to Chloe. Clark splashes some of the water from the tank at her, with a huge grin, and she turns back to smile triumphantly at him again as he shakes out his hair with his hand.

The smile on Chloe's face begins to fade as she observes a growing affection between Clark and Lois. Lois gives Clark another triumphant smile and Chloe lowers her eyes to the ground unhappily.

***

CHLOE’s JOURNAL

I can’t believe it. Lana and Clark are finally a thing of the past. I was hoping that maybe I can finally have a chance with Clark. Yeah, I don’t know why, but something about him keeps pulling me back to him. Maybe it’s the mystery that seems to surround him. Anyway, I can’t believe that Lois – yeah, Lois, my own favorite cousin – might beat me to him! I guess she does have an advantage – living at his house & even taking over his bedroom. Boy, what I’d give to spend one night in his bed. I’d probably never wake from the dreams I’d have. I couldn’t believe it when I saw Lois & Clark being so playful after she dunked him. I thought they didn’t even like each other. Maybe I was wrong. They do seem to have some chemistry going. So what should I do now? Wait even longer for him? Or make a move before things progress with Lois? Why do relationships have to be so complicated?

***
End of FACADE

[NYC300Z]

I never thought of Chloe thinking like that....and Lana still thinks Clark is with Lois....oh these were the hardest times to watch Smallville....keep it up and eventually we'll get back to more Clark and Lana interaction!

PPMS!!

[SmallvilleMan]

You know I have varied feelings about chloe, i like her, but want to root against her. I know there's a reason why, someone help me out here;)

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by NYC300Z
I never thought of Chloe thinking like that....and Lana still thinks Clark is with Lois....oh these were the hardest times to watch Smallville....keep it up and eventually we'll get back to more Clark and Lana interaction!

PPMS!!

Well, I'm thinking ahead to what Chloe reveals to us in Devoted. ;)

[Cardinal]

You're evil, SV! Evil, evil, evil! You said no more updates, so I went to bed....bad writer, BAD writer!

I'm not sure what Chloe's journal is doing in the Clana Journals, but I like it. I thought her reaction to the momentary Clois at the end of Facade was the most poignant moment of the season to that point! I liked hearing your take on her thoughts.

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by Cardinal
You're evil, SV! Evil, evil, evil! You said no more updates, so I went to bed....bad writer, BAD writer!

I'm not sure what Chloe's journal is doing in the Clana Journals, but I like it. I thought her reaction to the momentary Clois at the end of Facade was the most poignant moment of the season to that point! I liked hearing your take on her thoughts.

Sorry to be so "evil" Cardinal, but I thought you'd be happier to find a post this morning than to have to wait till maybe midnight tonight for me to have a chance to post the rest. So now I'm trying to make sense of my Alt. Clana Scenes story, so I can post more there sometime this century. I hope I can come up with something that makes sense. I'd hate to leave you all hanging like the SV writers did. ;)

Oh, and I did say at the beginning that maybe we might take a peek or two into some other characters' journals. We've peeked into Lex's mind a few times, but I couldn't envision him writing a journal. I almost added a Lois journal here, too, but decided it wasn't needed. I thought Chloe's was a good lead-in to DEVOTED.

[Scotty]

Even though there was not much Clana to work with in this episode, you still pulled it off! Great updates! :)

[binkys711]

yay! just caught up with the clana journals! great updates!!! i loved 'em...interesting seeing Chloe's journal....PPMS!!!:D

[luckykentcharm21]

yeppers it's pretty awesome what you got here

[Cardinal]

Must...stay...on...first...page!!! PPMS!

[SVsleuth]

I'll probably update this one next, since I did 2 on the Alt. Scenes today - I mean, yesterday (since it's after midnight) Devoted is next. I watched it several times this week & am pondering ideas...

[NYC300Z]

oh cool! can't wait for the next update! PPMS!

[booze_is_me09]

PPMS!!!!!!!!!

[Cardinal]

Ketchup said he'd post by 2 a.m., so, looking for something to do, I'm returning your thread to the top. ;)

[SVsleuth]

DEVOTED - Part 1

The Cheerleaders spike the Gatorade. The QB, Dan Cormier, drinks it, accuses Jason of checking out his girlfriend, then goes after Jason with a shotgun. Clark saves Jason in boys’ locker room.

***

Lana tends Jason’s wounds at her apartment, as they talk.

Lana: Imagine being your girlfriend and finding out about this from Chloe. I felt faint and I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. Because why would Lana be freaking out over the new assistant coach?

Jason stands up and puts his shirt back on as he walks toward Lana.

Jason: You know, this is usually the part where I would buy you a massive bouquet of flowers and take you out to a really nice dinner. But I can't 'cause my dad has cut me off because I decided to follow my heart instead of the big bucks at business school.

Lana lowers her eyes, understanding but unhappy.

Jason: Hey. I need this job, okay? I mean, it's something I love, you know, and it works well with my college schedule. It allows me to be close to you. I know the only downside is that we have to fly under the radar, but... I'm sorry for that.

Lana looks warmly at Jason, touched. Then she comes toward him and they kiss softly.

Lana: It's just I've never been happier, and to not be able to share that is frustrating.

Jason: Well, you know you can always take your frustration out on me.

Lana smiles, and they kiss again.

***

LANA’s JOURNAL

I could have died when Chloe told me someone tried to shoot Jason. Having to hide our relationship is so difficult - having to sneak around and hide the truth. It’s just not me. I mean, how many times did I jump all over Clark for all his lies and secrecy? Clark. Why am I not surprised that he was the one who saved Jason? Jason said he moved so fast. I still wonder if Clark has meteor-induced powers. What else could explain his penchant for being the hero? - - How did I end up writing about Clark? This is about Jason – the guy who traveled all the way from Paris to be with me. He really does make me happy. He’s so funny and cute. But having him be a coach at my school is really putting me in an awkward situation. I’ve never been a good liar. How am I going to hide this relationship? I must do it. I can’t let Jason lose his job because of me. Maybe I should take lessons from Clark – he seems to have perfected the art of evasiveness.

***

Clark quits the Torch in order to devote more time to football, now that he is the starting QB.

***

In the boys’ locker room.

Clark: What's going on?

Another player presses a jersey to Clark's chest that says "Kent" on the back.

Guy: You owe me one, Clark. I saved it from the toilet.

Clark: Thanks.

Another player glares threateningly at Clark as Jason enters the room.

Jason: All right, ladies. Listen up. You've obviously found the new jerseys. I want to introduce you to the man responsible for them. Lex Luthor!

All the guys except for Clark clap and cheer as Lex, dressed in a suit, enters the locker room, passing Clark to get to the center of the circle formed by the players. The applause dies down. Lex's back is to Clark.

Lex: The coaches tell me this is going to be a rebuilding season. And I want to encourage you to keep at it.

He turns around, facing in Clark's direction, but speaking to everyone.

Lex: In my life, I've learned that you can never give up on something that means a lot to you, even when you're coming off a losing season. You keep trying. Because sometimes you just need a fresh start.

Lex looks at Jason who nods. Lex then looks at Clark who looks back coldly.

Lex: So please, enjoy the new uniforms.

Jason: All right! All right!

Everyone applauds again and Lex starts to leave, passing Clark.

Clark: I know what you're doing. (Lex looks at Clark.) But you can't buy back my friendship.

Lex looks at Clark sadly without responding. Clark walks away.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Lex donated the jerseys for our team. He made this speech about needing a fresh start. I know he wants me to give him another chance. But how can I do that? He knows way too much about me already. How can I ever trust him to not investigate further? I really wanted to be his friend. But is he really the friend who becomes the enemy? Is he Sageeth? I don’t think I can risk trusting him again.

***

Out at football practice, Chloe tries to get interviews from Jason & Clark. Then she drinks the spiked Gatorade & falls head over heels for Clark.

***

Clark's loft that night. Clark walks up the stairs and sees Chloe sitting on the couch.

Clark: Chloe. (Pause.) What's going on?

Chloe is dressed only in Clark's football jersey. She pats the couch inviting him to sit down. Clark takes off his backpack nervously and drops it to the floor. He sits down as far away from Chloe as he can get.

Chloe: So, do you remember that conversation we had this morning about your priorities? Well, I've been thinking about my priorities, and I think they're a little screwed up. Who needs the Torch? Especially if you're not gonna be there.

Chloe moves closer to Clark.

Clark: Right. But that still doesn't answer why you're only wearing... my football jersey.

Chloe: I want to make you my number one priority. (Clark stares at her in confusion. She comes closer.) I would do anything for you. Things that Lana would never do. Things to help relieve your stress.

Chloe puts a hand on Clark's chest.

Clark: (Apprehensive.) Like what?

Chloe smiles as she starts running her hand down Clark's chest to his stomach.

Clark: Chloe...

Her hand keeps lowering until Clark stops it.

Clark: Chloe! Hey, Chloe! (He takes her hand away from his body and pats it.) Are you feeling okay?

Chloe: I've never felt happier. (She straddles Clark's lap.) Clark...

Clark: (Even more uncomfortable.) Uh--

Chloe: Can't you see? I'm devoted to you. I love you, Clark.

Chloe kisses Clark heavily on the lips and he raises his hands into the air not knowing where to put them.

***

Next morning

Clark: Hey, Mom, can I talk to you for a second?

Martha: Of course, honey. What's up?

Clark: It's about Chloe. Um, she came on to me last night, pretty strong. I'm worried about her. (Martha’s face shows concern. He adds quickly: ) Don't worry, nothing happened.

Martha: I thought you two agreed to be friends.

Clark: We did, and then she pulled a 180 on me.

Martha: Maybe Chloe's decided life's too short to bury her feelings anymore. How do you feel about her?

Clark: The problem is, I'm not over Lana yet. (Discouraged.) Sometimes I think I never will be.

Martha: (Consoling.) Oh, sweetheart. There's somebody out there for you. I know it.

Clark: So, what do I do about Chloe?

Martha: If you don't feel the same way, just be honest.

Clark nods.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Something strange is going on. First, Dan went crazy and tried to shoot Coach Teague. Lucky I was there to save him. At least he’s not asking questions about how I saved him.

Now Chloe’s acting really strange. Yesterday, she came to my loft and really came on to me. Are Chloe’s feelings for me really that strong? Why don’t I have similar feelings for Chloe? I do like her. She’s a great person, fun to be around, cute. I came close to kissing her at the Spring Formal freshman year. I wonder if I’d feel differently now if I had kissed her then? I wish I could make my heart move on to Chloe, or someone else. But my heart is still captivated by Lana. My feelings for her have never changed. I love her. I really, truly do. I wish I could tell her how I feel. But she seems so distant since she came back from Paris. It almost seems like she is purposely avoiding me. I still wonder what happened in Paris. Who was this guy Lana fell for in Paris? How was she able to move on so quickly? What ever became of him? Does she still talk to him, write to him? I have so many questions. I wish she could answer them for me. But I can’t ask her about these things. So I still just watch her from afar, and meet her in my dreams. I hope things can change someday. I want so much to be with Lana. But for now it feels like she’s barely my friend. How did we drift so far apart? I should have told her everything before she went to Paris. Not a day passes that I don’t regret that I didn’t.

Lana, I wish you could know my heart. I wish I could hold you in my arms once again, and kiss your soft lips. If only I could turn back time, I would do things so differently, Lana. I miss you so much, Lana. I love you. Please come back to me someday. I cannot get you out of my heart. I don’t really want to try.

***
Coming Next: DEVOTED - Part 2

[binkys711]

awww...that last part is so sad:( and it's funny the way Lana went back to Clark in her journal....great update!!!PPMS!!! your a great writer!:)

[NYC300Z]

Great update...I know it's hard to put Clana into this part of the season. I like how u add a little in the journals! PPMS!:)

[SVsleuth]

DEVOTED – Part 2

Jason ends up drinking the spiked sports drink.

Lana walks down an empty hallway holding a note in her hand. She finds Jason who is walking toward her.

Lana: (Concerned.) Hey, is everything okay?

Jason: Yeah. It is now.

Jason kisses her, and she pulls away looking around to see if anyone is watching.

Lana: Hey, what are you doing?

Jason: It's called kissing my girlfriend.

Lana: No, I was talking more in the "big picture" sense. (She holds up the note.) The lady from the attendance office announced to my entire Advanced Lit class that Coach Teague needed to see me.

Jason touches her face, and she pulls away again.

Lana: I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but this sudden, spontaneous outburst-- It's a little strange. Even for you.

Jason: Mm.

Lana: You have sacrificed an incredible amount to be with me. I will not cost you your job.

Jason: My job doesn't matter, okay? You do. I want to make you happy.

Lana: I know. And I love that. I just think that we should discuss this later.

Jason: Okay, but will you promise me something?

Lana: Depends...

Jason: Come by practice after school. Just stand on the sideline for, like, ten minutes. But I just want to see you.

Lana smiles reluctantly.

***

The cheerleaders are practicing their cheers on the football field as the football players do jumping jacks. Jason blows his whistle.

Jason: All right, guys. Let's grab a drink before scrimmage.

The guys all jog over to the drink table. On his way over, Clark notices Lana sitting on the bleachers.

Clark: Lana? (He takes off his helmet and walks over to her.) What are you doing here?

Lana: I-I heard that Clark Kent was our new starting quarterback, and I had to see it for myself.

Clark: Really? You came out here to watch me practice? That means a lot.

Lana smiles awkwardly in response. Jason sees Clark talking to Lana.

Jason: (Unfriendly.)] Hey, Kent! Do you want to join us or what?

Clark: (To Lana.) I better go.

Lana: Seems like our new assistant coach is working you pretty hard.

Jason takes a swig of green punch from a bottle as he watches Clark and Lana.

Clark: No, he's, uh, actually pretty cool.

(Lana nods. Clark looks at her for another moment.) I'll see ya.

Lana: See ya.

Clark walks away from the bleachers toward the drinks table. Lois catches up with him. Chloe comes out dressed as a cheerleader and cheering for Clark. Lois & Clark discuss this briefly. Clark drinks the spiked sports drink and gets sick. Jason challenges him to be a leader, so he tries to play – and gets the hell kicked out of him on the field.

***

LANA’s JOURNAL

Jason’s acting really strange. It’s like he doesn’t care about hiding our relationship anymore, even though he knows he’ll get fired. I don’t understand what’s going on with him. He even asked me to go watch football practice for awhile today. So I did. And then, Clark noticed me there and came right over to talk, asking me why I was there. What was I supposed to say? That I came because Jason wanted me there? I couldn’t. So I lied and said I came to see him as starting quarterback. He seemed really surprised yet pleased when I said that – almost as if he had hoped that was the reason.

Could Clark still be interested in me? I thought he moved on to Lois. It seems they’re together all the time. She even met him at practice. No. He can’t have any feelings left for me. But why should I care? I have Jason, and he is so sweet to me. He makes me laugh. I need that. And he doesn’t have any hidden agenda. With Jason, what you see is what you get. Simple. Uncomplicated. That’s what I love about him.

Chloe seemed to be acting really strange at practice too. Why was she dressed as a cheerleader and cheering exclusively for Clark? Is Chloe still interested in Clark? Is she trying to have a chance with him too? Who knows? It’s so complicated. Yep. Complicated. That’s what everything is when it comes to Clark Kent. I guess I’m lucky to have Jason in my life, even though we have to hide it.

***

Clark’s loft. After practice, Clark is seated at his desk with his shirt unbuttoned. He holds an icepack to his ribs and gasps breathlessly at the cold. He hears somebody enter.

Clark: Chloe, if that's you, I'm not feeling very well right now.

Clark stands up with some difficulty and sees Jason walk into the loft wearing a black jacket with the hood over his head.

Clark: Hey, Coach Teague.

Jason: (Walking up the stairs.) Clark, we need to talk.

Clark: (Buttoning his shirt.) Look, I know this is gonna sound weird, but I think there's something in that drink cooler.

Clark comes down the stairs meeting Jason halfway.

Jason: Yeah, you should've stayed away from my girlfriend.

Clark: What are you talking about?

Jason beats the hell out of Clark, until Lex shows up to rescue Clark. Lex doesn’t know who the attacker was. He helps Clark tend his wounds. Clark’s body begins to heal itself.

Lex: That's odd.

Clark: What?

Lex: I could've sworn you had a cut above your eye.

Clark: Actually, I'm feeling a lot better all of a sudden.

Lex: Yeah, well, I still think you should have a doctor take a look at you.

Clark: I guess I was lucky you were here.

Clark stands up and walks past Lex to the table.

Clark: Why are you here?

Lex: I wanted to give you something.

Lex picks something up and when Clark turns to face him, he tosses a blue LuthorCorp file to Clark.

Lex: It's every file I ever had on you.

Clark: How do I know you don't have a copy?

Lex: You don't. But it's the truth.

Clark: Lex, if this friendship was so important, why'd you lie to me for so long?

Lex: I don't know, Clark.

Clark lowers his eyes, and Lex walks toward him.

Lex: There's a darkness in me that I can't always control. I'm starting to think that's my curse, why every relationship I have ends badly.

Clark: We all have a dark side, Lex.

Lex: Yeah. But I can feel mine creeping over the corners. Your friendship helps keep it at bay. It reminds me that there are truly good people in the world. I'm not willing to give up on that.

Clark looks back at Lex cautiously.

Lex: Good night, Clark.

Lex leaves the loft. Clark lowers his eyes silently.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

I think I know why Chloe and Dan and Coach Teague – and everyone – are acting so strange. The cheerleaders have been spiking the Gatorade. I can’t believe I was actually able to go out on that field at all and try to play after drinking that Kryptonite-spiked drink. It seems to have made Chloe fall head-over-heels for me. I’ve gotta find a way to reverse it. I’ve gotta figure out exactly what they were adding to the drink.

That drink also put Coach Teague into a jealous rage. He beat me up pretty badly while I was weakened from that stuff and from the beating I took on the field. He told me to stay away from his girlfriend. Who could he be talking about? The only girls I’ve been around are all students: Lois, Chloe, Lana, and the cheerleaders. Certainly none of them could be Coach Teague’s girl – could they? I can’t see him with any of those dim-witted cheerleaders. And he’s certainly not talking about Lois or Chloe; he’s probably never even met them. That leaves Lana. Lana did meet Coach Teague. I saw her in his office a few days ago. I do remember getting the impression that maybe she had known him previously. And she did get that message in Advanced Lit class today that Coach Teague wanted to see her. That did seem odd. Is he an old friend of hers? Could she be his girlfriend? Would Lana even consider dating a teacher? No. This is Lana. That would require her to keep it a secret. And I know how much Lana abhors secrets and lies. No. It couldn’t be Lana. I wish I knew who he was talking about. I certainly don’t like getting beat to a pulp for something I didn’t even do.

Lana was at practice today. She said she came to watch me practice. I was really surprised that she was even interested at all. I guess she at least still considers me to be her friend. Could she possibly have even a little of those feelings left for me? At least it’s a start. At least she showed me that she cares a little about what I’m doing and wants to support me. It gives me a glimmer of hope. Maybe Lana and I can grow closer again. Maybe the guy from Paris is history. What if she actually came back because she missed me? But then, why has she been avoiding me? Maybe she still believes I am with Lois. I hope she doesn’t think that.

I gotta get Lois out of my life, out of my house, out of my room. Maybe Lex can help. Lex. Should I give him another chance? He saved me from Coach Teague tonight. And when he noticed my cut disappear, he didn’t press the issue. He said my friendship helps to keep the darkness at bay. What if my friendship can help him change what would otherwise be his destiny? Maybe it’s like what Jordan Cross said – that I had changed destiny. Maybe I can do that for Lex. Maybe I shoud give him one more chance. He seemed sincere. And maybe he can help me get rid of Lois too.

***
Coming Next: DEVOTED - Part 3

[Cardinal]

Lana: It's just I've never been happier, and to not be able to share that is frustrating.

More irony! First Clark can't open up 'cause he gotta keep his secret, now the same goes for Lana.

Of course, that line just about has to be the high-water mark for Jalana. (Boo...hiss!! :mad: :mad: :mad: )

And yes, Clark, you must get rid of Lois.

[Scotty]

The Clana Journals is one of my favorite fanfics, it really puts into perspective what the characters were thinking in Season 4. PPMS! :D

[NYC300Z]

Just caught part 2! That was something in Clark's journal tring to guess who Coach Teague's girl was he was so close yet he couldn't believe it.

PPMS!!

[SVsleuth]

Thanks, guys. Sorry - this isn't another update - but make sure you didn't miss the 2 posted yesterday. :)

Cardinal, whenever I hear Lana say to Jason, "I've never been happier" my reaction is : "Liar! - How about when you were with Clark, in Calling? You sure looked happier then. When have you ever looked at Jason the way you looked at Clark then - or kissed him as passionately?

Scotty - thanks! That's why I started writing it - to help myself understand it better. ;)

NYC: Yeah. I like to think that Clark is in Lana's Advanced Lit class, so gets an additional clue. :)

[4EverSmallville]

Hmm, Lana & Clark are both wondering about the feelings they have/don't have for one another...yeah, that's definitely SV :lol:.

This is sad because it reminds me of how I actually liked Jason lol, but nothing gold can stay. Great updates :D.

[clana4ev3r]

oh did i hate some of those episodes of the fourth season.... :(

but why were clark and Lana so distant in the fourth season though?

[MOOman0618]

I really wish the show could go into as much wonderful emotional detail as you do here! There is so much more substance to these episodes after you write their journals! LOVE IT!

[binkys711]

great update! it's funny how they're both thinking about each other....PPMS!!!

[booze_is_me09]

i'm glad we clana fans have somethin to look forward to this upcoming season!!!! cuz 4th season was a drag!

PPMS!!!

[C.A.chick]

PPMS!!!!!!! I love these journals

[MOOman0618]

See...this is the problem with having two threads at one time. Pushy posters like me will be bugging you to update both of them!! So...

UPDATE SOON!!!

[SVsleuth]

Here's the plan: I'm going to finish a few more posts on Alt. Clana first, bringing it up to the time of DEVOTED. Then, I'll finish DEVOTED on THIS thread.Then, I'll do Alt. DEVOTED, etc. I had kind of gotten out of sync for awhile there. I want to get back to the original pattern of posting an episode in Clana Journals first, then doing the same episode in the Alt. CLANA thread.

[MOOman0618]

Ahhh...I see. I suppose that is acceptable. ;)

[booze_is_me09]

ok SVsleuth. i'll be waiting then!

PPMS!!!!

[C.A.chick]

I'll be waiting!!!!!!!!!!!PPMASAP

[SVsleuth]

Hey, ya'll! I discovered that I had already written the rest of DEVOTED, and just had to type it up. So, you get one more 2 part post from me today. (That makes 4 since midnight, if anyone's counting). Can't promise how soon I'll post anything more, but I have this one ready, so might as well post it - right?

***

DEVOTED – Part 3

Clark & Lois figure out that Mandy and Rhonda’s Chemistry project is the key to what is going on with the spiked sports drink. Lois makes the plan for Clark to go after Mandy. Clark reluctantly plays along.

***

Chloe gets cured when she gets burned accidentally during her fight with Lois. Mandy’s guys come after Clark, Chloe and Lois.

***

Lois: Bring it on, hotshot.

Nate steps forward and swings his bat at Lois. She ducks to dodge it, then kicks Nate in the stomach, sending him falling back against the other football players.

Clark: Lois, what are you doing?

Lois: Hey, Clark, you got any explosions up your sleeve?

Lois is looking at the ceiling above the players. Clark follows her gaze and sees that she is looking at a pipe that says "Caution Hot".

Nate: You're gonna pay, bi*ch!

Nate gets back to his feet. Clark uses his heat vision on the pipe, heating it up until it bursts and a cloud of steam jets down onto the players, knocking them and Mandy to the floor.

Lois: Okay, what the hell was that?

Clark: I guess the pipe must've broken or something. Pretty lucky, huh?

Lois: Yeah. You better hope for that kind of luck tomorrow on the field.

Clark rolls his eyes at Lois's insult.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

How did Lois get me into that makeout session with Mandy? I haven’t done that much with a girl ever – and I certainly didn’t want to do it with Mandy. Now if it was Lana… But it wasn’t.

And then, yesterday, Chloe coming on to me in my loft. I’m glad the effects of that drink are gone. But… should I say anything to Chloe? Things are going to be really awkward between us now. I wonder if she really has those feelings for me? Should I ask her? I don’t know what to do. Maybe she’ll bring it up first and clear the air. I hope so. Chloe’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose our friendship.

Now, Lois, I won’t mind losing. Though she was pretty cool when I burst that pipe. It was almost as if she asked me to create an explosion, knowing that I could. Yet, again, she didn’t pressure me for answers. I like that about Lois. But I still want her gone. And she wants to go back to college anyway. I hope Lex can help. I will go ask him.

***
Lex's mansion. Night. Clark is escorted into a room by a servant. The room is the place where Lex had all of his research on Clark stored. Lex is in the room waiting for him.

Lex: When they told me Clark Kent was downstairs, I couldn't believe it. I wanted you to see for yourself that the investigation is over.

Clark: (Looking beyond Lex.) What's that?

The shot widens and we see that the large room is completely empty except for a small cube of compacted metal.

Lex: The Porsche you pulled me out of the day we met.

Clark: Why is it still here?

Lex: (Walking toward the metal.) To remind me of what I almost lost.

He turns to Clark.) It's over, Clark. It really is.

Clark doesn't respond.

Lex: Look, I'm willing to give this friendship another shot if you are.

Clark is silent for a moment, then nods in agreement. Lex smiles.

Clark: In the spirit of friendship, I was wondering if you could help me with a problem.

Lex: Absolutely. What is it?

Clark: Well, it's a who. Lois Lane.

Lex nods.

***

Next Day.

Clark is dressed in his football uniform in the locker room. He takes his helmet off the locker as Jason walks up to him.

Jason: Clark. I don't know what to say, man. I mean, you saved my life, and I practically tried to kill you. It's not the best way to get this coach-player relationship off the ground.

Clark: It's okay.

Jason: If you want to bring this to the school's attention, I totally understand.

Clark: No, coach. You weren't yourself. I'm just glad it wore off.

Jason: Yeah. You're gonna do great out there today. I think after all that's happened, the guys are finally behind you.

Clark: (He nods.) Thanks. (Jason starts to leave.) Hey, coach? When you were in my loft, you told me to stay away from your girl. Who were you talking about?

Jason: Honestly... I have no idea. I mean, like you said, I guess I wasn't myself. Good luck today, Clark. I'll see you out there.

Clark smiles.

***
CLARK’s JOURNAL

Coach Teague apologized today for laying into me the other day. I asked him who the girl was he was talking about. He said he had no idea. It seemed like he was hiding something though. I’m pretty good at detecting half-truths – since I have to hide the truth so often. I wonder if I’ll ever find out.

Coach Teague really is pretty cool. He’s giving me every chance to prove myself on the field. I like him. I’m glad he’s here. He seems like someone I could be friends with.

***

NEED a BUFFER POST, then I'll POST the REST IMMEDIATELY.

[Cardinal]

Buffer!! :)

[binkys711]

Cardinal beat me! oh well....:p

[SVsleuth]

(Thanks for the buffer Cardinal. And PLEASE don't say I'm evil for posting again when I said I was done.) ;) (Thanks for trying too, Binks!) ;)
***

(Part 3, continued)

Chloe and Clark are walking off the field together later the same day. Clark is wearing his normal clothes. Clark and Chloe seem uncomfortable with each other.

Chloe: Wow. So... 60-yard pass to win the big game at the last second. You're gonna be like some superhero around here. I just might have to do an article on you.

Clark: Does that mean you're back at the Torch?

Chloe: Yeah. (Pause.) Since I'm not very good at ignoring 500-pound elephants, I am really sorry that I made things so ridiculously awkward between us.

Clark: You know, I thought you made a great cheerleader.

Chloe: (Laughing.) Yeah, let's never talk about that again, okay? (She stops walking and faces him.) Look, Clark, as much as I'd like to blame the pom-pom juice for this, I obviously still have those feelings in me somewhere.

Chloe looks at Clark hopefully, waiting for a response.

Clark: Chloe... I wish I felt the same way, but I don't. At least not right now.

Chloe: (Smiling unconvincingly.) I know that. And I accept it. I just hope that we can keep our friendship. Except now you're gonna be, like, big man on campus. (She laughs.)

Clark: Well, I'm hoping my new editor will keep me in line. I'm gonna make time for the Torch.

Chloe: Wow. Superhero and journalist. What are the odds?

Clark kisses Chloe on the cheek.

Chloe's eyes fill with tears.

Chloe: (Almost inaudible.) Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow.

Chloe walks away. Clark switches his bag from one shoulder to the other, looking tired and unhappy. Lois walks up to him.

Lois: If you break her heart, I'll come back and I'll break your legs
.
Clark: What do you mean come back?

Lois: Apparently the dean got a call from a very prominent benefactor with the initials L.L. They did the white man power dance and shazam. I'm officially a freshman.

Clark: Wow, that's great!

Lois: Don't pretend you had nothing to do with it. Why would Lex call out of the blue on my behalf?

Clark: Look, the important thing is you got in and you're leaving. (Realizing that sounded rude.) Because that's what you wanted, right?

Lois: Yeah, yeah, don't get all broken up about it. You know, if I could describe my time here in one word, it would be "weird." I look forward to the relative normalcy of the big city. (Clark nods.) But don't worry. I'll visit.

Clark: Is that a promise or a threat?

They smile at each other teasingly. Lois punches Clark on the arm.

Lois: See you around... Smallville.

Lois walks away. The shot widens and we see Clark standing near the goalpost in the empty football field as Lois gets farther and farther away. The setting sun gives them both enormously long shadows.

***

CLARK’s JOURNAL

Well, Lois is finally leaving – and Lex helped. Lex and I took a step to try this once again. I hope I can influence him for the better.

So, Chloe admitted that she really does still have feelings for me – like I do for Lana. I wish I could return those feelings. Chloe is a great person. She deserves to be happy. But I can’t be the one for her – at least not right now. My heart is still longing for Lana. Until that changes, I can’t really move on to any other girl.

Lana. I miss you, Lana. I hope I can tell you soon how much I miss you - how much I still love you – how much I want to hold you in my arms again. Good-night, Lana.

***

LANA’s JOURNAL

Well, Jason seems to be back to normal. And Chloe too. I don’t know what the hell was going on with them. It was kind of like Clark, when he ran off to Metropolis, acting like a completely different person. Or that time when he asked me out, then dumped me for Jesse. What is it about this town? Periodically, people just act totally out of character for awhile, then revert back to normal. Maybe I was too hard on Clark in the past, when he couldn’t explain why he acted so strangely. He’s not the only one this kind of thing happens to – evidently. Yeah, and if I think about it, didn’t everyone tell me that I even acted like a different person – that time when that Nicodemus flower affected me? Everyone forgave me. Just like I’m glad Jason’s back to normal now, and we can forget about how strange he was acting. I hope he didn’t do anything he’ll regret these last few days.

Was I too hard on Clark in the past? Why would I hold him to a different standard than everyone else? I guess maybe because, in his case, it seemed to occur repeatedly, not just once – and he seemed to know something about why it happens to him – something he just would not tell me. I have no idea what happened to Jason and Chloe – but I don’t think they have a clue either. I guess that’s why it was different when it involved Clark.

That was some pass he threw to win the game tonight, though. I can’t believe anyone could throw the ball that far and that accurately. But somehow, Clark could. Somehow, Clark always seems to be able to pull off the impossible. He’s just as much a mystery as ever. I was so proud of him when he won that game – proud to know him – proud to be his friend.

Friend. Does Clark consider me his friend anymore? I’ve pretty much ignored him since I got back from Paris – since I found out about Lois – since Jason arrived. The relationship is uncomfortable – so I avoid him. And I guess he still thinks I was watching practice because of him. Well, it wasn’t really a lie. I really was curious to actually see him play. It just wasn’t the reason I decided to go to practice that day. But, if I’m honest with myself, I’m always interested in what Clark Kent is doing. Maybe I should lighten up a bit, and be a little friendlier toward him. - -

Why do I always find myself writing about Clark? I bet there isn’t a page in this journal that doesn’t mention him! Enough of this. I’d better get to sleep.

***
Next post from me will be back to the Alt. CLANA thread for Alt. DEVOTED. I have not started writing it yet, and it will not be today.

[Cardinal]

Clark and Lana are like a binary star system. Mutually attracted to each other, totally unable to stop it, and each revolving around a point between them...in this case, their love for each other.

No, you're not evil this time, 'cause I was still on line to catch the surprise update! Though you need never apologize for writing more updates. :)

I'm almost done with my update. :)

[clana4ev3r]

hahaha.... lana always writing about clark.... great update!

[binkys711]

LOL to what Lana said on the end of her journal!:rotfl: i bet ther isn't a page without him;) great update SVsleuth! I loved it!...sorry i got late for the buffering but Cardinal took care of it! good job Cardinal!:) PPMS!!!:D:D:D

[Dr. Jeckyll]

Great update as always, SVsleuth!

[C.A.chick]

that was great!!!!!!!!but lana doens't open up to him for quite a while right? she's partially nicce to him in the end of Spell, but thats a long time from now!

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by C.A.chick
that was great!!!!!!!!but lana doens't open up to him for quite a while right? she's partially nicce to him in the end of Spell, but thats a long time from now!

Right. I'm just talking about not totally ignoring him, being civil to him, friendly. Of course, Transference will throw a wrinkle into that, won't it?:\ :\

[C.A.chick]

well, the problem is, I haven't seen all the episodes, since i only started watching around the time Blank played...so i've seen other episodes, but not transference...could you quickly tell me what happens clana wise?

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by C.A.chick
well, the problem is, I haven't seen all the episodes, since i only started watching around the time Blank played...so i've seen other episodes, but not transference...could you quickly tell me what happens clana wise?

OOOooo... That would be pretty spoilery. I'll say this: Lionel and Clark switch bodies... and Lionel messes up all Clark's friendships.... Lana ends up pretty ticked at Clark.

[NYC300Z]

I love it how u have Lana slowly turnig back to Clark in her Journals! PPMS!! :)

[C.A.chick]

thanks SVSleuth...doesn't Clark tell Lana what happend?

[ClarksGirl21]

Originally posted by NYC300Z
I love it how u have Lana slowly turnig back to Clark in her Journals! PPMS!! :)

I know! shes soo good!
Aww.. I love this Sleuth! ur awesome! :D keep it up!

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by C.A.chick
thanks SVSleuth...doesn't Clark tell Lana what happend?

No, he never does. Chloe either. Lex is the only one who figures out what happened. I'll P.M. you something that could help you fill in the gaps. Or just hang on and keep reading the Clana Journals Thread where the next episodes will be RUN and then TRANSFERENCE.

[ajfinn]

Ahhhhhhhh . . . . nothing like a good SVslueth fix :D Thanks for all your hard work!! You're a maniac ;)

[MOOman0618]

Originally posted by Cardinal
Clark and Lana are like a binary star system. Mutually attracted to each other, totally unable to stop it, and each revolving around a point between them...in this case, their love for each other.

That has to be the most perfectly dorky analogy of Clana I have ever heard! I love it, and am jealous I didn't think of it sooner! :p

Great update SV! Love that Lana realizes she has been pretty cold toward Clark recently and is willing to cut him some slack. But then Transference will happen and BAM!

I can't actually remember what happens in 'Run' Clana wise, so I am going to go rewatch it now since that is whats next. Post More Soon!!

[SVsleuth]

Originally posted by ajfinn
Ahhhhhhhh . . . . nothing like a good SVslueth fix :D Thanks for all your hard work!! You're a maniac ;)

Yeah, I've gotten pretty obsessed with writing lately, haven't I? I think I just am dying to get to the REAL Clana later in the season. Or maybe I learned from the original Clanamaniac: AJFINN! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Originally posted by MOOman0618
I can't actually remember what happens in 'Run' Clana wise, so I am going to go rewatch it now since that is whats next. Post More Soon!!

I don't think there is any CLANA in Run, just some Jalana - Rats! - But we've got to get past it to get back to CLANA, right?

[Cardinal]

You could always do a Three Months Later bit and skip straight to the extra-juicy Clana in Spirit.

That way we don't have to sit through the "empty calories" of Jalana! :D

[binkys711]

OH plz don't put the jalana make out session of "run" plz!!!

(when i rewatched run I had tottally forgotten the jalana scene and seeing them make out made me gag:\)

[clana4ev3r]

I agree don't mention the make out session!!!

[C.A.chick]

A JALANA MAKE OUT SEESION???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!CLARK DOESN'T SEE IT DOES HE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!I HATE JALANA

[binkys711]

what you never saw "run"?

(the power of the CAPS WARS live on apperently.....:p)

[SVsleuth]

No CAPS WARS on my thread, please. About Jalana: If I remember correctly, Lana tells Jason she's not comfortable telling him certain things yet... I'll play that up, OK? Although later she does confide in him...but her journals may have her 2nd guessing this decision or something...I didn't write it yet, so who knows?

Remember, though, I'll be updating Alt. Clana: Devoted, before starting on Clana Journals: Run.

[binkys711]

no i didn't mean it that way....we aren't gona start the CPAS WARS again....i meant that her caps is still on even after the wars...

[MOOman0618]

Just watched 'Run' today...

All I have to say is ewww.

They focused on that Jalana makeout scene for like two whole minutes! And it was somewhat odd...Clark and Lana had no contact the entire episode!

[clana4ev3r]

its the same with Recruit... no contact what so ever....

[LoisNClark]

i just read this whole thread today and it is amazing. I love the journals
ppms!!

[Cardinal]

I'm not letting SV's threads disappear just because she's temporarily indisposed. :)

[MOOman0618]

We are all worried about you SV! Come back soon!

[SVsleuth]

Thanks, y'all. See message in Clubhouse.

[Cardinal]

Back to the top! :)

[MOOman0618]

Up up and away!...to the top

[LoisNClark]

staying on the top:D

[NYC300Z]

that's what's up!:D

[booze_is_me09]

ok...

[smallvile fanatic]

i have just found this story its brilliant post more soon

[SVsleuth]

Welcome, smallvile fanatic. There is a companion thread to this one, called Alternate CLANA scenes. I just updated that one. My next post will be RUN, on this thread, but probably not for several days.

[smallvile fanatic]

Thank you I have been reading your other story and i have to say its cool

[SVsleuth]

The CLANA Journals: RUN - Part 1

Bart brings loot to Hanison. Jonathan and Clark are in Metropolis for a medical check up for Jonathan, and for a football game. Bart saves Jonathan from being hit by a truck, but steals his wallet as well. Clark sees how fast Bart moved and is amazed. Martha greets Jonathan and Clark, then runs off as “duty calls” at the Talon.

***
An apartment building in Smallville. Inside, there is a bed with a pile of schoolbooks strewn across it. There is a fireplace on the wall with a Crows gym bag sitting in front of it, and near the fireplace, Lana and Jason stand in the middle of the room kissing passionately. When the kiss ends, they hold each other closely. Jason catches a glimpse in a mirror of something on Lana’s back as her shirt rises up a little. He lifts up the back of her shirt slightly and can see the tattoo on her back in the mirror across the room.

Jason: What is that?

Lana pulls away and covers her back with her shirt.

Lana: Um, it's nothing.

Jason: It looks like a very large tattoo hovering over a very provocative spot. When did you get that?

Lana: Um, I-I got it, uh... before I came back from Paris. (She turns away from Jason to hide her anxiety.)

Jason: Really? Why didn't you tell me? I could've come with you and gotten a mermaid or an anchor or a mermaid holding an anchor.

He starts to lift her shirt to peak at the tattoo again. She slaps his hand away and turns around abruptly.

Jason: What?

Lana: I didn't plan on getting it, all right? It kind of just happened.

Jason: Tattoos don't just kind of happen. There's usually some ink and a fair amount of pain involved.

Lana: (Defensive.) Well, what was I supposed to do, ask you for permission to get it?

Jason: Whoa, hey. That's not what I meant. Why are you biting my head off right now?

Lana: I'm not.

Jason: Yes, you are.

Lana: Look, I just... I don't want you making a big deal out of this.

Jason: I don't care about the tattoo, okay? But what bothers me is the fact that, for some weird reason, you felt like you had to hide it from me. (Lana lowers her eyes.) I've seen what keeping secrets has done to my parents. I'm not gonna end up like that.

Lana: Jason, the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you, but there are some things that I am just-- I'm not comfortable sharing with you yet. I'm sorry.

Lana kisses him softly on the cheek and leaves.

***
LANA’s JOURNAL

I wish Jason hadn’t seen the tattoo. How can I explain to him what happened? I don’t even know what happened. How did that symbol from Isobel’s tomb, that symbol from the cave wall, end up on my back? And who did it? And why me? I have so many questions. That’s why I came home – to try to find answers. But all I have found is more questions.

Now Jason is curious about the tattoo – and he’s annoyed that I’m keeping something from him. Should I try to explain? He’ll think I’m crazy. I’m not comfortable telling Jason about this. I’m not comfortable telling anyone.

Dr. Fine said the tattoo was not made with ink, but was branded beneath the skin. How? By whom? Why? I don’t know who to turn to for help. Jason wants me to trust him. But even though my feelings for him are growing deeper, I still don’t feel that I can tell him about this. It’s like I have this big secret that I have to hide from everyone, even Jason. And then, Jason & I have to hide our relationship from everyone. How did I end up in this predicament - having all of these secrets to hide, and having to lie all the time to cover things up? I hate living like this. But who would understand?

Clark. Somehow I get the feeling that Clark is the one person who may somehow understand. He’s always been so secretive. And he also is so obsessed with those caves and those symbols.Could he help? Can I trust him? I don’t know. We’ve grown so far apart. I’m not even sure we’re really friends anymore. No, I just can’t confide in him right now. But who else could help?

Jason wants me to be honest with him. But I don’t know if I can. I’ve really only known him a few months. I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll just do nothing until something seems right. I’m so scared, so confused. I wish I knew what is happening to me. I hope I can find out something soon, because I can’t stand living this secretive life much longer. Something’s going to have to change – and soon.

***
Need Buffer please...

[SmallvilleMan]

keep reading.

[NYC300Z]

Buffer:D

[MOOman0618]

I WANT TO BUFFER TOO!

[SVsleuth]

Thanks for the buffers, SmallvilleMan, NYC, & MOOman. This PC is SOOOO slow today!

The CLANA Journals: RUN - Part 1 continued

Lex opens a crate containing an old manuscript. Clark confronts Bart at Bart’s apartment. This ends with Bart superspeeding away, with Clark in close pursuit. Bart runs across the water, leaving Clark speechless. Clark returns home to find that Bart is at his house. Bart reveals to Clark that his powers were from an accident. Clark tells Bart he was kind of born with his and leaves it at that. Bart reveals that he’s been living on the streets, since his parents didn’t accept his ability very well. Bart stumbles upon a meteor rock & discovers that Clark is “allergic” to it. Then Bart dashes off to Florida, and Clark follows him, not really believing what he is doing.

***

Bart & Clark return to Smallville & go to the Talon. Bart flaunts his abilities there and tries to impress Chloe. Clark tries to get him to be more secretive, and to stop stealing. Bart seems to see nothing wrong with just taking whatever he wants, since he can get away with it. Clark talks to Martha at the Talon. She tells him that Lex wants to see him about something important. Clark hesitantly leaves Bart with Chloe and goes off to Lex’s mansion.
Clark and Lex stand side by side in Lex's study looking at an old page with foreign writing on it. Lex has it framed in a glass box on a steel pedestal in the center of the room. There is a light shining directly onto the page from above.

Lex: I purchased this from a private collector in St. Petersburg. Convincing him to part with it required quite a few glasses of vodka and a small fortune, but it was worth it.

Clark: (Smiling.) It's very nice.

Lex: Take a closer look at the border design.

Clark steps closer to the pedestal.

Lex: Embedded glyphs similar to the Kawatche symbols found in the cave.

We see that the border is lined with Kryptonian symbols.

Lex: And no one's spent more time down there than you.

Lex walks around Clark to stand on his other side. Clark looks slightly shaken, but he covers it well.

Lex: Any idea what they mean?

Clark: No. But I thought you weren't interested in this stuff anymore.

Lex: Oh, I'm still interested, Clark, just not obsessed. Which is why I'm not keeping this from you. I'd like it if we could work on this mystery together.

Clark: I'd like that. (They smile at each other tensely for a moment. Clark turns back to the frame.) So what is it?

Lex: It's the last surviving page from a 14th century manuscript.
Lex walks away from the pedestal and sits down at his desk.

Lex: It depicts the Grand Prince Danskoy's victory over his mortal enemy Mamaya at the Battle of Kulacova. Legend has it that this was the only object adorning the walls of Rasputin's chamber while he studied at the Verkhoture Monastery.

Clark uses his X-ray vision to look through the page and sees a deeper layer that has what appears to be a map and more Kryptonian symbols.

Lex: He believed this page would reveal a path to unimaginable power. Rasputin would stare at it for days at a time, attempting to penetrate its secrets.

Clark: It's incredible.

Clark reaches for the frame.

Lex: Don't. (Clark stops.) I've had state of the art security installed to protect it. I'm keeping it at the mansion for a few days before it goes into the vault at LuthorCorp.

Clark looks from the page to Lex anxiously. Lex's watch starts to beep.

Lex: I'm sorry, Clark, I have an appointment. Why don't you swing by tomorrow and we'll, uh, roll up our sleeves?

Lex stands up and puts on his jacket.

Clark: (Smiling to hide his uneasiness.) Yeah.

Clark leaves the study. He walks down the hallway and with a burst of wind, Bart is suddenly standing right in front of him.

Bart: (Excited.) Dude, you know Lex Luthor?

Clark: What are you doing here?

Bart: Well, Chloe shot me down, but, you know, her loss. Man, this place is awesome! (Gesturing to a room down the hall.) I mean, have you seen all the cool stuff?

Clark: You were just in there?

Bart: Yeah, I just took a quick spin. Don't worry, man, he won't have a clue.

Clark: You gotta get out of here.

Lex walks into the hallway behind Clark.

Lex: Clark.

Clark turns around and we hear Bart super speed away behind him.

Lex: Who are you talking to?

Clark turns around and sees that Bart is gone. Shaken, he turns back to Lex who is still waiting for a response. Clark continues to look at Lex awkwardly, completely at a loss for words.

***
Clark returns home excitedly, and tried to discuss what he saw with Jonathan. He decides to sneak into Lex’s to get a closer look at the manuscript. Jonathan thinks it’s a bad idea. He wants Clark to forget about Jor-El’s crusade and everything associated with it. As Clark prepares to head off to the mansion, Bart interrupts him, wanting to hang out. Clark tells him he will, but later. Bart gives Clark a “gift” of an MP3 player, as a thank you for being his friend. Clark questions where Bart got it and Bart is offended. Bart tells Clark he shouldn’t treat his abilities like a curse, but as a gift. Clark tries to convince Bart to use his abilities to help people, not hurt them. Bart decides Clark is “nothing like him” and speeds away again, leaving Clark discouraged.

***

Clark dashes off to Lex’s to see the manuscript. Bart zips in, steals the manuscript, then dashes away, leaving Clark to try to explain to Lex why he is there with alarms sounding at such a late hour. Clark cannot come up with a very convincing story. Lex suspects that Clark knows who stole it, and tells Clark he is not really worried, because "there aren’t that many fences in Metropolis that can move such a high-end item.” Clark is worried about Bart.

***
CLARK’s JOURNAL

So many things are happening. First there’s Bart. I can’t believe there’s someone else who has speed like mine. I wish I could convince him to stop stealing, though. It’s just like with Lex – here I am trying to have a positive influence on someone. It doesn’t seem that Bart is going to change any time soon. And he hasn’t helped things with Lex either. He put me in such an awkward spot – forcing me to lie to Lex to cover for him. Lex knows I’m keeping something from him. I guess he thinks I’m such a hypocrite – coming down on him for lying to me all those years while I’ve been hiding things from him as well.

And now this manuscript has surfaced. It had Kryptonian writing! It said, “Look Deeper” – so I looked with my x-ray vision – and there was a map hidden beneath the manuscript. Lex said Rasputin would stare at it for hours, and believed it would reveal a path to unimaginable power. Somehow I know it’s connected to the “destiny” Jor-El had in mind for me when he sent me to get that stone from Lex’s plane. But why is Lex so connected to all of this? Why did Lex have a stone with a Kryptonian symbol on it? Why did Lex seek out this manuscript with Kryptonian symbols on it? Is it just that Dr. Walden got him so interested in the cave symbols that now he’s seeking anything in the world that contains them? Are these things really meant for me? I’m the only Kryptonian on Earth – I think. For a moment I thought that maybe Bart… but, no, it was some freak accident that caused his ability.

(Clark sighs) I know I had just told my Dad that I wanted to live a normal life my senior year, hanging out with my friends, and playing football. I wanted to forget about Lex and Jor-El and all of that. But with Bart around, I’m beginning to see that I can no longer pretend to be someone I’m not. It’s like Professor Willowbrook said last year: I’ve been desperate not to be someone I am. I’ve wanted so much to just be a normal human teenager. But the truth is, I’m not. Maybe it is time I stop hiding who I am and find out why I was sent here. Maybe these stones and this document are really important. What if it is dangerous for me to ignore these things? Lex isn’t ignoring them. What if he finds these Kryptonian stones, manuscripts, or whatever, and gains power that would be dangerous in his hands? And now Bart is interfering, stealing the manuscript from Lex, and widening the gap between Lex and me.

I’d better keep my eyes open around Lex and Bart. I think I’m going to have to pay attention to Jor-El’s crusade whether my Dad thinks it’s wise or not. I wish there was someone I could confide in, someone I could talk to. But Pete has gone away – and I let Lana slip away too. Bart has speed like me, but he’s not someone I can really talk to, really let in on my biggest secrets. It seems there’s no one. Even my parents don’t understand. I have to pursue this. I guess I’m on my own, as always. I hope that will change someday.

(Clark sighs.) I sure wish I had confided in Lana before she left for Paris. Maybe she would have understood. Maybe things could have been so different. Maybe I could have had someone I could confide in and talk things over with. How has she drifted so far from me, I hardly know her anymore. If only…. I guess I’m dreaming. Lana could never handle this secretive life I live. I couldn’t ask her to. I guess I’ll always be alone.

***Coming Next: The CLANA Journals: RUN Part 2 (probably in several days)

[NYC300Z]

So sad to see him dreaming of what could have been between him and Lana!

PPMS!!

[MOOman0618]

I feel bad for Clark, it must be terrible to be so alone! I love how you bring both Clark and Lana's thoughts back to each other. They can't escape each other no matter what has happend! :) Great update!

[Cardinal]

Clark's just now seeing a whole new level to what he lost when Lana left him. Not just a girlfriend in a high school kind of way, but someone to share things with, someone that could help him deal with his abilities.

Sweet, SV! :)

[LoisNClark]

Exactly what NYC, MOOman, and Cardinal said about Clark realizing what he lost with lana and how alone he is. Very sad.

Another awesome journals update!!!

PPMS!!!:D

[linn]

ppms?!!!!!

[binkys711]

awww.....poor Clark:( in spanish there is a saying and it goes like this:" no existe el hubiera" which means:"should've/could've does not exist" I really like that saying....it hurts but it's the truth:\
stupid Clark! and Lana drifted apart also *sighs*.....and blagh! gaged when read the jalana passionate kiss *shakes flashback away* but i forgive you, it's escential for the story, dang it!:p.....great update SVS! your a true dedicated writer:)....PPMS!!!

[booze_is_me09]

i must of missed something and not to sound stupid but what is a buffer?

[binkys711]

when a writer writes too much she can possibly post it once but can't go back and edit if there is a mistake so a buffer is a post that separates parts and by separating the parts the writer can go back and edit their story for any mistakes it may have;)

don't worry about it, we all had to ask it once also. Including me:p

[NYC300Z]

it's when somebody posts between a story so the story can be split into two parts to the author can edit the story later if nessary. Beacuse if the story is too long k-site doesn't allow them to go back and edit their post.

:lol: sorry didn't see that u already clued him in binkys

[binkys711]

blind people....yeesh....j/k NYC!:p