The Bachelorette

[oldmankent]

It’s been a long time since I posted a fic on Kryptonsite.

This is an AU CLANA fic that bears little resemblance to the Smallville that we all love (or hate depending on your point of view). It does not contain foul language but the language is adult oriented and can be suggestive. There are adult situations but no sex but a lot of sexual innuendo.

Any and all depictions as to the workings of a television production have been thoroughly researched – inside of my imagination. I have no idea of what it takes to produce a television show so please don’t be too picky in commenting on any inaccuracies.

Blue = Dialogue

Maroon = Thoughts

As always, any and all feedback, comments (excluding foul language) are welcomed and encouraged. Feedback is the lifeblood of the fic writer.

The Bachelorette

A Romantic Comedy
By
OldManKent

**********

Chapter One

”Appearances Can Be Deceiving.”

The Continental Boeing 757 had begun its flight out of Denver, Colorado two hours earlier. The flight proceeded in a routine manner and the plane was now beginning its descent towards Metropolis International Airport. The passenger list consisted mostly of businessmen who were hoping to get to their hotel rooms as soon as possible so that they could get a good night’s sleep and get an early start on the next business day. There were some groans about not being given a full dinner from some men who had not eaten before the flight. The two small bags of salted peanuts that were given to each passenger were just not substantial enough for these men. The saltiness necessitated drinking another overpriced can of beer which only exacerbated their hunger pains and these hunger pains slightly increased the amount of complaining. Except for this, the flight was uneventful up until this moment.

As the descent proceeded food trays were lifted up and pushed into the backs of the seats to which they were attached. All seatbelts were buckled and tightened. Seats that were inclined backwards and imposing into another passenger’s personal space were lifted up and were now in the original upright position. The stewards and stewardesses made their way down the aisle collecting small amounts of trash into plastic bags. Pillows were placed back in the overhead bins and the doors to the bins were secured. Briefcases and laptops and purses were placed underneath the seats.

With the sunset arriving the passengers were now noticing a slight amount of turbulence in what had otherwise been a smooth flight. At first, it was a single slight bump. Then the slight bump became a buffeting. Instinctively, hands begin to tighten around the front of the armrests. A few people began to breathe deeply in order to keep calm but the claustrophobic feeling of being packed like sardines in a tin can began to take effect. Most passengers silently reassured themselves that everything was just fine. A little bit of turbulence was normal for any flight. Other passengers tried to distract themselves by perusing the airline catalog of consumer items that were nice to look at but totally unnecessary to buy.

All eyes opened up as the familiar tone of the pilot’s intercom was sounded and a collective groan was heard from the passengers as the pilot’s calm voice was heard.

”Ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to have a slight delay on our arrival at Metropolis International Airport. There are some unexpected lightening storms in area. For now we’re going to keep the plane in a holding pattern until we are given clearance to land. We’ll keep you posted on any new developments. For now just sit back and relax and thank you for flying Continental Airlines.”

As the plane buffeted in the increasing winds not a single person on the plane felt that they could sit back and relax.

**********

Lois Lane had gotten an early start on the work week and arrived at her desk at the Daily Planet Monday morning at 6am. Her partner, Clark Kent, was already at his desk typing away on his keyboard and reviewing all of the news stories from a myriad of internet websites. Lois was always amazed at how quickly Clark could scan the vast amount of websites and out of the deluge of information he could glean from them all of the pertinent news stories from around the world. At times Clark seemed to be faster than the computer. Lois once asked him how he was able to read and understand so quickly. He replied that he had taken a speed reading course. She had also taken a speed reading course but it appeared that Clark gotten more for his money’s worth.

They spent the morning sorting out their stories for the day and for the week ahead. These stories were usually divided into two-categories: Quick Turnarounds – those stories that could be easily investigated, written and printed within 48 hours, and Projects – those stories that would require extensive research, in-depth investigation, possible personal risk, and the type of elegant writing that would enable the reader to reach the same conclusion as Lois and Clark. Upon the initial investigation it was not uncommon for Quick Turnarounds to become Projects.

They spent the first hour of the morning reviewing potential stories. The Quick Turnarounds were divided between them. Lois and Clark were individually responsible for the completion of the Quick Turnaround story but shared credit when it was printed. Each benefited from this arrangement. It perpetuated the reputation of Lane and Kent as not only the finest investigative reporting team in the nation but also the most prolific. This was not an insignificant accomplishment in an age where the printed word of newspapers was becoming obsolete. In an era of 24 hour news networks, news websites and instant analysis of any issue from an army of pundits, the names of Lane and Kent still sold newspapers. Their notoriety launched a dozen separate blogs on the world wide web regarding their stories and they made an occasional appearance on the Sunday morning news programs.

The Projects were long-term investigations that usually had a national or worldwide significance. Such investigations usually involved covert activities within the government, misuse of taxpayer funds by the city or state government officials, or non-ethical behavior and inefficiency in the programs overseen by the United Nations. These investigations usually required surveillance, undercover work, informants, a great deal of money and sometimes a large degree of personal risk. Most reporters would never take the risks that Lane and Kent took in order to get to the bottom of a story. Lois sometimes wondered why she was so willing to put her life and limb on the line for a story. ”I guess having Big Blue on our side helps mitigate the risks.” More than once Lois and Clark found themselves at their rope’s end and more than once they were saved by the man in the red cape. It was these long-term investigative reports that sealed the muckraking reputation of Lane and Kent. It was these projects that became the subject matter of the four books that they co-authored that went to the top of the nonfiction bestseller lists, initiated numerous Congressional hearings and an Oscar winning movie staring Leonardo DiCaprio. And it was these books, royalties and personal appearance fees that provided a significant boost to their regular income.

Of course, the Man of Steel was never mentioned in their reports or their books. It was at his insistence that any assistance that he provided to the news team would be omitted from the story. Lois didn’t understand why he let them take all the credit. He was either very generous or he was publicity shy. (She believed it was the later.) Whatever the reason, Lois was grateful. She was grateful that he saved her life and she was grateful that he didn’t ask for part of the substantial income derived from the sale of their books. She’d much rather divide their royalties by two people (Lois and Clark) than by three people (Lois, Clark & Superman).

With this income Lois Lane could now do what she wanted, whenever she wanted. Being as investigative reporter was something that was now done for fun rather than for livelihood. There are not many people in the world who have the luxury to pursue their passion while getting paid for it at the same time. This sense of freedom only added to her determination to crack ‘the big story’. Twenty eight year old Lois Lane now had the lifestyle she always dreamed about. Saving for retirement or the new Mercedes was no longer a concern. The weekly salary she earned from the Daily Planet was donated to charity. With her boyfriend, Oliver Queen, she went to the finest of nightclubs and restaurants and to the most exotic vacation locales. ”As my daddy would say, I’m living high on the hog.”

As for Clark Kent, Lois had no idea what he did with his money or his free time.

Lois had worked with Clark for three years. They had spent more time together than most married couples. They had discussed just about every subject under the sun. Yet, Lois felt she didn’t know Clark at all. He was an enigma to her. At the end of the day, he left the Daily Planet Building and went…… went…..She didn’t know where he went. When she tried to bring up the subject of family and/or significant others, he skillfully steered the conversation in another direction. Actually, he always steered the conversation away from any question that he didn’t want to answer. Lois didn’t know his age but judging from his appearance she thought he was close to her age. But he wouldn’t even divulge his birth date. He kept a photograph of his parents on his work desk. In a moment of uncharacteristic openness he revealed that his father had passed away but Lois didn’t know when or from what. He told Lois little of his mother except that her name was Martha and she was ”silver haired” rather than gray haired. Lois imagined that Clark took very good care of his mother especially now that he was a man of independent means. As for a significant other, Clark displayed neither photographs nor ever made mention of anyone. As far as Lois could tell Clark neither made nor received any personal telephone calls at the office. But frequently when they were in the middle of something Clark would suddenly leave, saying he had to do something for a ‘friend’ but he never mentioned the ‘friend’s’ name nor what the ‘something’ was that needed his immediate attention.

Occasionally Lois would invite him to dinner with her and Oliver but Clark always declined. He always came up with an excuse that seemed legitimate but she still wondered how could a person have a calendar as full as Clark’s yet no one knew what is on that calendar? Clark seemed to be part of two different worlds – the Clark Kent inside the Daily Planet which everyone saw and the Clark Kent outside of the Daily Planet which no one saw. For all Lois knew, outside of the office Clark Kent could be a saint or a serial killer. ”I wonder if Clark is bipolar.”

Still Clark Kent was Lois’ very good friend. He was respectful and pleasant and unendingly optimistic. At the Daily Planet where everyone had an ego that needed constant feeding, Clark Kent possessed a refreshing humility. He never became angry but he never backed down from a confrontation. He approached such episodes without losing control and never losing his conviction. Physically, his clothes were clean and neat and from a certain angle, even stylish, but his clothes did not call attention to him. Lois considered herself to be a good judge of character and she sensed that behind Clark’s laid back demeanor and studious eye glasses was a coiled spring just waiting to be released. The only question in Lois’ mind was what would be the trigger?

Lois Lane liked Clark Kent. She just wished she knew more about him.

They finished the morning’s work and went to lunch at a small diner down the block from the Planet. Lois had her usual salad while Clark had the cheeseburger deluxe – a half pound of hamburger, with three slices of cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise and everything topped off with a poached egg and a plateful of steak fries. Lois renamed it the ‘heart attack – deluxe’. Lois watched Clark hungrily munch down on the burger. He always devoured his food like a starved animal but showed absolutely no ill effects.

”Clark, why don’t you just fill a syringe with lard and inject it directly into your veins?”

“Lard?”

“Clark, the deluxe burger you’re eating has enough cholesterol to block the Panama Canal let alone your arteries. Why waste time digesting it into your bloodstream? Just shoot up and get the full effect immediately.”

“Cholesterol?”

“Clark, there’s enough calories in that thing to feed a hungry family of four from a third world country for a week.”

“Calories?”

“Clark, you eat everything and you never get indigestion and you don’t gain an ounce.”

Clark finished chewing his food so that he could answer with more than a single word.

“I work out regularly.”

“Where?”

“Different places.”

“Doing what?”

“Different things.”

He was doing it again. He wasn’t answering her question. ”I never met anyone who was so guarded.” Clark hadn’t stopped speaking.

“And as far a cholesterol is concerned I eat garlic.”

“Garlic?”

“Yeah. It’s a fact that garlic reduces your cholesterol.”

Lois thought about this for a moment and then lifted her nose up the air and started sniffing. She did this a few times and then went back to Clark.

”Why do I never smell it?”

“Smell what?”

“Your garlic.”

“Mints”

“You chew on mints?”

“Yep.”

“Do you fart mints?”

“Do I what?”

“Fine, Clark I don’t smell garlic on your breath because you chew on mints but what about when you break wind?”

“So you want to know the intimate details of my farts?”

“There you go again! You’re not answering my question.”

“You want me to answer a question about how I break wind?”

“See that! You’re doing it again!”

Clark put the burger down on the plate, wiped his mouth with his napkin and made certain that all the food in his mouth had been chewed and swallowed.

”Lois, I assure you I’m in perfect health. My cholesterol is normal as is everything else. There isn’t the smell of garlic on my breath because I chew on mints and to be perfectly honest with you I don’t break wind. At least, not in public. The next time I do…fart…I’ll bottle it for you so that you can put your nose to it and smell to your heart’s content the garlic and whatever else my stomach has digested.”

The waitress was now at their table.

”Can I get you any desert?”

They both answered at the same time. Lois with a scowl and Clark with a broad smile.

”Not for me!”

“Absolutely!”

Another fifteen minutes was spent with Lois watching Clark devour and enjoy an enormous slice of Boston cream pie while wondering why he never gained weight.

They finished their lunch and walked back to the office. As they were walking it occurred to Clark that he had never before….broken wind. He had never before belched, hiccupped or…farted. He remembered what had happened the first time he ever sneezed. He had blown the door off the barn at his parent’s farm and it had flown into the next county. He thought of what might happen if he ever…if he ever did that other thing from the other end. ”What if it happened after eating Mexican food?”. He thought of what might happen if it ever occurred in a room full of people.

Or a city full of people.

In a flash the headline of the Daily Planet appeared in his mind’s eye.

”Saddam Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction Discovered in Metropolis. City Evacuated With The Discovery of Poison Gas!”

Lois hit him in the shoulder.

”What’s so funny? Why are you laughing to yourself?”

“Oh nothing. It’s just an inside joke.”

“Clark, sometimes you are so odd. Who has an inside joke with himself?”

**********

They were back at their desks in the City Room. Perry White was in his office arguing with someone on the telephone. Jimmy Olsen was running from one desk to another trying to do everything for everyone. Lois was watching CNN Headline News. The top story of the hour was the decision by the California State Supreme Court to overturn the state law that banned gay marriage. As she heard the report Lois looked at Clark. ”I wonder if that’s the reason I never see him after work with anyone. I wonder if Clark is gay and he’s not comfortable with having it out in the open.”

Lois left her desk and moved over to Clark’s area. She leaned against his desk so that she was sitting on the edge and smiled down at him. Clark looked up at Lois’ smiling face. He minimized the computer window he was working in, let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair.

”Well, Lois. Exactly what do you want to ask me?”

“That’s one of the things I like about you, Clark. You get right to the point. But what makes you think I want to ask you something? Can’t a girl just come over to her friend and colleague and say hello?”

Clark didn’t answer. He did notice that Lois had slightly lifted up her skirt to display her shapely legs. ”Lois is at it again. Let’s disarm the male of the species by displaying the physical assets of the female of the species.” He looked up from his eye glasses at Lois with a ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ expression. Try as she might, Lois could not use Clark’s own method of answering a question with another question against him.

”Well, I thought that you might like to have dinner with Oliver and me tonight.”

Clark carefully examined Lois. ”There has to be more to this than just a dinner invitation. There’s always method in her madness.”

“Thank you, Lois. But I already have plans. Perhaps another time.”

Clark was hoping the conversation was over and was about to lean forward and get back to his work but Lois continued.

”Plans with a friend?”

Clark swallowed and nodded his head.

”You could say that.”

“Male or female?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Your friend, is it a male or a female?”

“I don’t understand what you’re getting at, Lois.”

“Clark, I just want you to know that when I invite you to join Oliver and me for dinner, you don’t necessarily have to bring a female companion or any companion. A male companion is just as good as a female companion. We would welcome any companion you chose to bring. A friend of yours is a friend of ours. Whether that friend is a woman or a man makes no difference to us. We’re very open minded people.”

Clark was silent for a moment, trying to ascertain what Lois was getting at.

”I’ll keep that in mind, Lois?”

“So which one would it be?”

“Come again?”

“A female companion or a male companion?”

“Are you taking a poll, Lois?”

“No. No. Of course not. I was just wondering which persuasion you preferred to have dinner with.”

“Which persuasion?”

“Uh huh. Male or female?”

Again, Clark was silent for a moment and then his eyes opened wide as if he had made a great discovery.

”You want to know if I’m gay, don’t you?”

Lois stood up from her seat on Clark’s desk and started backing away in a defensive mode to her own area.

”Clark, I would never ask such a personal question.”

“Never ask such a personal question? An hour ago you were asking me about my farts.”

“It’s really none of my business. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. That’s my motto.”

Clark was now on his feet and moving towards Lois’ area.

”Lois, if something about me is bothering you about and you want to ask me a question then ask. Don’t straddle the fence. Come on over and ask!”

Clark thought Lois would back down. Instead Lois reacted like trapped animal and shouted out.

“Alright! ”Are you gay?””

The entire City Room became silent at hearing Lois’ outburst. Everyone was looking up from their desks waiting for Clark’s answer. All of the single women in the room were silent and waiting for an answer to the question that each one had privately asked themselves for months. For some, their hearts were beating rapidly in the chests. The answer would determine whether or not they would approach the up until now unapproachable tall, dark and handsome reporter. There were a few men whose hearts were also beating rapidly and also thinking the same thoughts as the women but hoping for a different answer.

”What’s going on here?”

All heads turned to the booming Southern drawl. Perry White had come out of his office. Lois became sheepish and answered him just above a whisper like a little girl who was caught with her hand in the cookie jar by her father.

”I was just asking Clark a question.”

Perry looked around at the office where all eyes were fixed on the couple.

”From the expression on everyone’s face I assume it wasn’t ‘what’s your favorite color?’ What are you asking Clark?”

Lois’ voice became even quieter. She moved closer to Perry.

”I asked Clark if he was, you know, if he was….ga…ga…gay.”

“Great Shades of Elvis, girl! You can’t ask questions like that! The last thing I need is the ACLU in here accusing me of creating a hostile work environment!”

Perry turned to everyone in the room.

”Whatcha all looking at? We’ve got a newspaper to run here and Clark’s sexual orientation is not going to be the morning headline! Now get back to work!”

A collective groan was heard at having to go back to work and at not having an answer. Perry placed his hand on Clark’s shoulder.

”Son, your sex life is your business. Not mine or anyone else’s at this newspaper.”

Clark dropped his eyes, brought his hand up to his forehead and slowly shook his head from side to side. He walked back to his desk and placed his elbows on top of the desk and dropped his forehead onto his closed fists. Perry walked back to his office with Jimmy in tow. Perry closed the door behind them and then spoke quietly.

”So, Jimmy. Is Clark gay?”

“Chief, you just said it was none of your business.”

“Jimmy….”

“Okay. Okay. No. No. I don’t think so, Chief.”

“You don’t think so?”

“Well, it’s not something I’ve ever asked him. I mean, he could be but I don’t think…”

Both White and Olsen looked at Clark through the office window and then looked at each other.

”Nah!”

Lois left her desk and walked over to Clark. She sat down at the chair that was on the side of his desk. Clark looked at her.

”What do you want to know now, Lois? At lunch it was about my digestion. A few minutes ago it was about my sexual orientation. What do you want to know now? Am I a devil worshipper?”

”I’m sorry, Clark. Sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me and I don’t know when to quit. I shouldn’t have treated you that way. Your business, your private life is your….”

“Lois, I’m heterosexual.”

“….business. Heterosexual? Is that something from Sex and the City?”

“Heterosexual is the opposite of homosexual.”

“Huh?”

“I’m not gay, Lois. I’m attracted to women. Okay?”

Lois breathed easier as she realized what Clark was telling her. He was not only telling her about his sexual preferences. He was also telling her that despite her embarrassing behavior he understood her and they were still friends. But as soon as her relief appeared so did her curiosity

”Well Clark, how come I never see you with any women?”

“Lois, do you ever see me with anyone outside of the office?”

Lois shook her head. She had never seen Clark with a woman or a man.

”I keep my private life private. That’s all. People may not understand it but that’s the way I like it.”

Lois felt relieved as she walked back to her desk. An idea hit her and she turned back to Clark.

”You know Clark; I have a really cute sister named Lucy.”

Clark gazed at her with an expression that only meant one thing. Lois lifted her eyebrows and walked back to her desk.

”Okay. Bad idea.”

**********

Lana Lang sat back in the limousine and looked out the window. She was attired in a pale blue evening gown that extended down to the top of her feet. The gown was tapered at the waist to give attention to her very narrow midsection and accentuate her curves. The smooth skin of her back was bare down to her waist. The front of the gown was open to just below the neck. Her matching shoes added a couple of inches to her height. Her abundant dark hair was pulled back and swept up her head and off her neck and shoulders. She had a single pearl earring in each ear and a single strand of pearls around her neck. She wore more makeup than was her custom. The studio makeup artists insisted on it due to the decreased amount of light in the limousine. They said she had such beautiful features and they didn’t want this to be lost in the picture. Not much more makeup but just enough to accentuate her strongest features – her exotic, expressive eyes, her peaches and cream complexion and her sensuous mouth.

She looked at the ring finger of her left hand and held it with two fingers of her right hand. Her ring finger was unadorned. She assumed that within an hour it would no longer be without a ring.

She looked out the window of the limousine. The Hawaiian landscape passed by quickly but not so quick that she didn’t notice its colorful beauty.

It was difficult to look nonchalant as a cameraman sat across from her and captured every movement, every expression, no matter how slight with his lens. Although the camera feed was being broadcast live she imagined that in the studio the producers were doing a voice over – her prerecorded voice being added to the image that was being broadcast live. Her thoughts at this very special moment. What was she thinking at this once in a lifetime moment?

Her hand casually moved to her stomach. ”I’m hungry.”

**********

At ABC studios in Hollywood two technicians were sitting in their sound booth and watching the video feed from Hawaii.

”Bud, that girl is drop dead gorgeous.”

“Lou, I had her picked from episode number one when Teague met the twenty five single women.”

“So did I, Bud. As soon as she walked out of the limousine and I saw those eyes. I was like Michael Corleone in The Godfather when he saw Apollonio for the first time. Hit by a thunderbolt.”

“You and a zillion other guys! So now it’s between Lana Lang and her pair of eyes and Missy Mason and her pair of major league yabos.”

“I’ll take the eyes.”

“Me too. In twenty years Missy will be playing soccer with those things. Jason Teague would have to be a numbskull to pick Missy over Lana.”

Through their headsets they heard the voice of the Director.

”Hey! What are you chuckleheads doing? Quit playing with yourselves and imagining that you are Jason Teague and give me the bloody voiceover!”

Both Bud and Lou looked at each other with an ‘Oops’ expression. A few switches were flicked and a few dials were turned and Lana Lang’s prerecorded voice was heard through their headsets.

”It’s something a girl dreams about. Every girl wants to be swept off her feet. Every girl dreams of the magical moment when her Prince Charming will enter her life.”

The technicians looked at each other.

”Did she say Prince Charmin?”

“No. She said Prince Charming. Charmin is something for your ass.”

**********

The limousine stopped. Lana could see a number of cameras set up outside the car to catch her image from every possible angle. The chauffer exited and walked around the car and opened the door for her. She took his hand as she exited the car. As he closed the door he gave her hand a slight squeeze and she heard his brief whisper,

”Good luck.”

Lana smiled at him and moved forward. In the distance she could see Jason Teague standing by himself in a garden on a hill overlooking the blue Pacific Ocean. He stood tall in the bright sunlight. He was dressed in a dark blue, pin stripe suit, white shirt and a red tie. He was holding a red rose. Even from this distance she could see the large smile on his face. Her smile became just as large. ”This is it! The moment of truth.”

As Lana walked closer to Jason Teague he found that his breath was taken away as he was overcome by her beauty. Lana positively glowed as she came to his side. He could barely speak and just managed to get out,

”Hi.”

“How are you?”

“Great! How can I not be great? I’m in love.”

The cameraman’s heart started to beat rapidly. He along with everyone on the set had developed an instant affection for Lana Lang as soon as she stepped out of the limousine and made her first appearance in the opening episode of The Bachelor. From the beginning Lana had built a following that rooted for her in every episode. In everyone’s mind she seemed to be the perfect girl for the bachelor although many had their doubts as to whether or not he was the perfect man for her.

Jason took hold of Lana’s hands. She looked straight into his eyes. He continued.

”I never thought this would happen. But it has. And there’s something I’d like to ask you.”

**********

It had been a long day for Lois Lane and Clark Kent. By the time they left the Daily Planet the lights lining the sidewalks on the streets had been switched on and Metropolis was preparing for those people who believe that life begins after the sun has gone down. Dark storm clouds were forming over the city and the feel of a summer thunderstorm was in the air. Lois took the subway to her apartment in the west side of the city. She was surprised that Clark still wanted to do his usual evening walk to his apartment in the east side of the city. She was certain that he would be drenched by the time he reached his home.

Lois got off at her stop and walked into her apartment and flopped down into her easy chair. She knew that she needed to eat some dinner, take a bath and get some sleep. She looked at the clock on the wall and gasped.

”Oh no! The Bachelor is on!”

Lois could have easily stood up, walked from the chair to the television set and turn it on. Instead she started to panic as she couldn’t find the remote control to the television. She finally found the instrument in her refrigerator by a half eaten ham sandwich. She grabbed it and quickly turned on the television. She hurriedly flipped through the channels and watched in High Definition as Jason Teague held Lana Lang’s hands. ”Oh my God! Oh my God! This is it! He’s going to ask her!”

Lois opened the freezer and pulled out a container of chocolate ice cream. She then went back to her chair and sat down with a large spoon. She could hear the television from the apartment next to hers. It was set to the same program and the sound was creating an echoing effect between the two apartments.

”I never thought this would happen. But it has. And there’s something I’d like to ask you.”

**********

Clark Kent had walked at his usual quick pace from the Daily Planet to his apartment ten blocks away on the east side of the city. At a time of day when just about everyone was slowing down Clark was revving up. He arrived at his apartment building just as it began to rain and lightening began to streak across the sky. He entered his apartment and put his briefcase by his desk. He took off his suit jacket and matching pants and carefully placed them on a wooden hanger in his closet. He looked at his leather shoes and quickly buffed them with a soft cloth. Then he inserted shoe trees in them to maintain their shape and placed them on a shoe rack. He removed his necktie, smoothed out where the knot had previously been and hung it on a tie rack also in the closet. He removed his shirt and placed it in a plastic bag with other used dress shirts that would be taken to the dry cleaners. He removed his tee shirt, boxer shorts and socks and placed them in a laundry hamper. The last item that he removed was his eyeglasses. He stood in front of his full length mirror and examined his naked body.

The hair that was never out of place had become ruffled from pulling his undershirt over and off his back. A few strands of hair started to curl over his forehead. His shoulders were wide and his muscles were well defined. His chest was massive and tapered to a narrow waist. A man who did ten thousand crunches a day could not have more sleek and defined abdominal muscles than Clark Kent. His legs were that of a world class athlete. If there was an ounce of fat somewhere on his body it was well hidden. He looked back at the clothes in his closet. The proportions of Clark’s body were such that practically all of his clothes needed to be tailor made. Off the rack, trousers that fit over his thighs would have been too large in the waist. If the trousers did fit his waist they would have been tight in the thighs. Suits that covered his massive torso would have appeared baggy as his waist tapered to a V. He could have had his clothes cut to fit an athletic frame but that would have drawn admiring eyes towards him. Calling attention to himself was the last thing Clark Kent wanted. Instead he had his clothes tailored so that they were neat and comfortable but appeared nondescript at the same time. His suits and trousers were tailored in Great Britain. His shirts were made in Hong Kong. His shoes were crafted in Italy.

Of course, he saved on shipping costs and import taxes by transporting his clothes back to Metropolis in his own unique way.

It was time. He closed his eyes. His body glowed as the molecules in the air that just covered the surface of his skin began to move rapidly. He felt nothing other than a momentary breath of warm air on his skin. In a few seconds his nakedness had ended. He opened his eyes and looked in the mirror. He was covered in a royal blue body suit that hugged his muscles and moved easily with every movement. In the center of his chest was a large emblem.

His family crest.



A red cape with an identical emblem flowed over his shoulders and down his back to his calves. His feet were covered in red boots that appeared to be as heavy as military boots but in fact were as light as a feather.

During his training in the Fortress of Solitude Clark had learned the technique of altering the layer of air molecules surrounding his body to form his Superman suit. It saved him the trouble wearing an extra layer of clothing underneath his normal clothes and it prevented him from being exposed to the world should his outer clothes ever be torn or in some way removed without his knowing. But it was something more. It was his last lesson from Jor-El before he embraced his destiny as the guardian of his adopted home. Like two men carving a wound with knife in their palms and then joining their hands to become blood brothers, this was Clark’s and Jor-El’s binding tie. Whenever Clark displayed the emblem of his family, his last link to his ancestors, he reaffirmed his acceptance of the destiny that had been his since before his birth and his commitment to the protection and the betterment of the human race.

Clark’s eyes were large, focused and crystal clear. His shoulders were squared back like that of a warrior ready to take on any and all enemies. His facial features were chiseled and his expression determined. He went to the window and slightly pulled back the curtain to look at the street below. The rain was falling heavily now and people were scurrying for shelter. A crack of thunder echoed above his apartment building.

Out of habit he placed his cell phone in a pouch on his belt and then faster than a blink of an eye the window was opened, Clark moved through, closed the window behind him and launched himself until he was above the storm that was situated over Metropolis and he hovered above the Earth. There was no blasting sound like a missile launching. Clark did not have an engine. He simply commanded himself to accelerate and his body obeyed without effort and without sound.

He could now see the bolts of lightning above the city but he could not hear the thunder as he floated in the outer airless atmosphere. There was no noise. No sound. No mindless banter over the telephone lines. No loud commercials over the television and radio. No sound of machinery or office equipment. He cherished these moments of complete silence.

All he could hear was the beating of his own heart inside his chest.

And the voice of his conscience.

”What’s the matter, Kal-El? Feeling lonely?”

“No. I don’t allow myself to feel loneliness.”

“You don’t allow yourself to feel a lot of things.”

“It’s better that way.”

“Is it?”

“Go away! Quit bothering me!”

“What’s the matter, Kal-El. Feeling sorry for yourself? Isn’t this the life you have chosen?”

“No. I’m not feeling sorry for myself and yes, this is the life I have chosen.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I just sometimes wonder what life would be like if I hadn’t made certain…choices.”

“Like choosing to follow Jor-El and embrace the destiny that was laid out for you?”

“Yes. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I were human.”

“Remember what Jor-El told you. You may have been raised as one but you are not one of them. You’re not human. You’re not now. You never were. You never will be. You’re Kryptonian. You always were. You always will be.”

“I know that.”

“So let it go! You can’t change what is! Besides, you should look at the upside of being you.”

“The upside? I’m listening.”

“Unlike the six billion or so humans down below who muddle through their existence, you know exactly who you are and what you are meant to be. You are doing exactly what you were born to do. Who else has that type of assurance? Who else has that type of certainty?”

“No one. It’s just that sometimes I wish…”

“Wish what?”

“I just wish that things didn’t have to so secretive all the time. People wonder about me, Clark Kent and who I am. I float up here and I wonder to myself. Am I Clark Kent or am I Superman? Sometimes I just wish I had someone to talk with. Someone to help me find the answers.”

“Oh pulezze! You know that can never be. There’s no such thing as wishing upon a star. This is your life. The life you’ve chosen. Deal with it.”

Clark nodded his head as his inner voice ended the conversation and disappeared. He saw a flash of lightening in a cloud just west of Metropolis. It streaked and then was followed by a larger flash of red and yellow. Clark knew that the lightening had hit something.

”I’m doing exactly what I was meant to do.”

He streaked downward into the dark, heavy electricity laden clouds below and back to the reality of his world.

**********

The pilot on the Continental flight from Denver to Metropolis was finding it more and more difficult to keep the plane steady in the heavy winds. Visibility was almost non-existent and he was flying by instrumentation only. Both of his hands were on the steering wheel and he was breaking out in a profuse sweat as he held the wheel with every ounce of strength in his body. His co-pilot looked at him.

”How the hell did we fly into this?”

“We didn’t. It was as if the storm flew into us.”

He radioed the Control Tower at Metropolis International Airport.

”Metropolis International, this Continental 678 from Denver. What did you put me into?”

“Continental 678, we had you circling outside of the storm. The storm’s shifting towards you was unpredictable and caught everyone by surprise.”

“The hell with that! I don’t want an explanation! I want an exit! Get me the hell out of this!”

The pilot angrily ended the transmission. The co-pilot spoke.

”The FAA would think that your language isn’t very professional.”

“So let the FAA fire me. I have to be on the ground to get pink slipped.”

All of the passengers were on edge. Everyone had their seatbelts tightened to the extreme. The plane rocked back and forth with every crash of thunder. The small amount of children on the plane began to cry and their parents tried their best to reassure and comfort them but their efforts went for naught whenever a blast of wind hit the plane and the darkness was pierced by a flash of lightening.

Everyone felt the bolt of lightning that hit one of the twin engines located underneath the wings. One moment the plane buffeted with the wind and the next moment a streak of lightening came out of the darkness like an arrow and struck the engine. First, there was the ‘crack’ of thunder and then there was the ‘bang’ of the explosion as the engine was ripped away from the wing. Immediately the plane dropped as if it had fallen off a table and everyone could feel their insides shoot up into their throats.

The pilot and co-pilot immediately knew what had happened and both looked into the direction of the flashing light.

”We lost the engine!

“No kidding! Now give me the bad news!”

The co-pilot looked outside the window and saw that the engine had been blown clean off the wing. In the continued flashing of lightening he noticed that a large crack had developed in the engineless wing. Fuel was gushing out from where the engine had been. The length of crack was extending across the wing.

”We may lose the wing!”

The pilot radioed the Control Tower.

”May Day! May Day! May Day! This is Continental 678! We’ve lost one of our engines and we may lose one of our wings! I have to bring this plane in now! Am turning 126 degrees to the west. I’m bringing her in! Clear the runway!”

The cockpit was sound proof. The sounds from the cabin could not be heard. So much the better. Right now the pilot did not need to hear the screams from the cabin behind him.

In between the flashes of lightening everyone could see that the engine had been blown off the plane. In between the flashes of lightening they could see the crack in the wing getting larger.

”Oh my God! We’re gonna die!”

**********

”I never thought this would happen. But it has. And there’s something I’d like to ask you.”

Jason let go of Lana’s hands and reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box that was covered in maroon colored crushed velvet. He opened the box and displayed an enormous diamond engagement ring. Lana’s mouth dropped when she saw it.

”Oh Jason! The ring is beautiful!”

“Really? Do you think Missy will like it?”

Lana dropped her hands to her sides and was silent. She wasn’t quite sure that she just heard what she thought she had just heard. The cameraman let out an ‘Oh my God’ and Bud and Lou in the control booth looked at each other not believing what they had just heard. Both spoke at the same time. Saying the exact same thing.

”Did he just say what I thought he just said?”

Both nodded at the same time.

Watching the drama unfold, Lois Lane almost choked on the ice cream she had spooned into her mouth. The apartment next door was silent. Then Lois heard through the walls,

”What the hell! You gotta be kidding me?”

Lois was glued to the television as was 80 million other viewers at this moment.

Lana looked up at Jason.

”I’m not sure I understand, Jason.”

“I’m asking you if you think Missy will like this engagement ring. Lana, you and I have become so close and I feel that I can trust your judgment.”

“You’re going to ask Missy to marry you?”

Jason nodded his head as if he was clueless as to why Lana was there.

Lana wasn’t sure if Jason was just stupid or deliberately cruel. She wanted to slap him across his face but she maintained her composure.

”I’m sure she’ll love it, Jason.”

With that, Lana turned around and quickly walked back to the limousine. Jason stood in his place looking at the ring and seemingly proud of himself. The chauffer opened the door and Lana entered. Then the limousine drove off.

The two technicians in the Control Room searched for voice over that would be appropriate for this moment but were unable to find anything. There was total silence other than the hum of the car engine in the video feed. Lou said to Bud,

”Is he a dumb cluck or what? So let me get this straight. Instead of going for Double L, Teague picks Double M because of her double Ds. It must have had something to do with the last episode when he took Missy into his room and he didn’t let the camera come in with them.”

“So you think he…?”

Lou pumped his fist.

“How else can you explain what he just did? There’s only one thing that can make a guy do what he just did other than mental illness.”

“A pipe cleaning of epic proportions!”

“He is truly a Prince Charmin.”

“Absolutely. Teague is a real horse’s ass.”

The cameraman was focused on Lana Lang sitting inside of the limousine. The Director back in the Control Room was waiting.

”Come on! Say something! Your heart has just been broken by the man you love in front of 80 million people. Not only has he broken your heart but he was cruel, uncaring and insensitive. He’s a major league jerk. Tell the world what a jerk Jason Teague is! Come on! Say something!”

Lana looked out the window of the limousine without speaking. ”I guess he didn’t like it when he told me he wanted an adult relationship and I told him I was waiting for marriage.” Lana turned her head and looked straight into the camera. The Director’s heart was beating rapidly.

”This is it! She’s going to say something! Get ready!”

Lana’s right hand lay over her stomach.

”Can we get something to eat?”

**********

The plane was still miles away from the airport and losing altitude with each passing second. All of the passengers that were seated on the side of the plane with the damaged wing stared at it through the flashes of lightening and gasped as the crack grew larger. The flight attendants had given up trying to calm down the passengers. Right now they were no different than anyone else. Everyone was screaming, praying, crying or combinations of all three.

A rain filled blast of wind hit the plane and the wing was ripped away. Immediately the plane took an abrupt dip to the side where the wing had been torn away and the aircraft started a spinning dive towards the ground. The pilot was trying desperately to pull the plane up but without success. Both he and the co-pilot were thrown back in their seats by the G-forces from the dive. Controlling the plane had become impossible.

All of the passengers bent their heads into their arms and closed their eyes.

The plane shook violently and spiraled towards the ground.

No one knew how much time had passed but a few of the passengers lifted up their heads when they noticed that the plane had stopped shaking. The plane was no longer on a steep decline and seemed to have leveled off. A few more people lifted up their heads. Everyone looked at one another. Questioning what was happening. A few stretched their heads towards the windows to see what was happening outside the plane. Visibility was still limited but the darkness was occasionally punctuated by a brief flash of lightening and in that brief moment a pair of outstretched legs and a red cape could be seen at the edge of the broken wing. Several people shouted at the same time.

Continued Below

[oldmankent]

”It’s Superman!”

They couldn’t see his face but they could see enough of his body to ascertain that he was acting as a replacement for the wing and the engine of the plane. All of the passengers and attendants let out a cheer.

The pilot and co-pilot lifted up their heads and looked out the window. They could see the red cape flapping in the wind. The co-pilot spoke.

”Thank God! It’s Superman! It’s looks like he’s going to let you fly us in.”

The pilot took control of the plane and steered it in the direction of Metropolis International Airport. He radioed the Control Tower and informed them that Superman had saved the plane and then he asked for final landing instructions. The air traffic controllers on the ground let out a cheer.

Clark was flying where the wing had broken off. He held up the plane with one hand and extended his other arm as if he were an extension of the wing. Rather than bring the plane in himself, he decided just to assist and to let the pilot finish the flight. Clark had discovered that although pilots were deeply appreciative of being rescued, they didn’t like to give up control of their plane and were grateful when they appeared to be part of a rescue rather than just being rescued. So unless it was absolutely necessary Clark made it a practice to just assist in plane rescues rather than take everything out of the pilot’s hands.

Underneath the wing most of his body was hidden from the view of the passengers and the flight crew but enough of him was seen so that everyone knew he was there.

As the wind and the rain hit his face he felt a vibration in the pouch in his belt. Someone was calling him on his cell phone. He looked down at his belt. ”I really shouldn’t answer this.” He pulled the phone from his pouch and saw Lois being identified with the Caller ID. ”I know I’m going to regret this.” Clark answered the call.

”What’s the problem, Lois?”

“Clark! What makes you think there’s a problem?”

“Why else would you call me?”

“Clark, I need to ask you something. What is that noise in the background?”

Clark could do many things but he couldn’t stop the sound of the storm and the plane from being picked up by his phone. He said the first thing that came into his head.

”That’s my dishwasher.”

“Dishwasher? Do you clean your dishes in a wind tunnel? Come on, Clark! Spend a few bucks. I’ll take you to Sears on Saturday and you can get a new one.”

“Lois, is that what you want to ask me? About my dishwasher?”

“No. No, it’s not. Here’s what I want to ask you Clark, why are men such pigs?”

Clark looked down at the dark landscape below. There lights of the city were starting to become visible as the plane descended. ”I can’t believe I’m actually having this conversation at this moment.”

”Do you mean men in general or did you have someone specific in mind?”

Lois bit her lip. ”He’s doing it again. He’s not answering my question.” Lois shouted into the phone.

“Jason Teague.”

“Don’t know him.”

“He should have asked Lana Lang to marry him but he didn’t.”

“Don’t know her. But maybe he didn’t like the way Lola made disparaging remarks about his dishwasher.”

“Her name’s Lana not Lola. Don’t you watch The Bachelor?”

“What’s The Bachelor?”

“Reality TV. Quick! Turn on your television to Channel 7.”

“My cable is out, Lois. Besides the thing about reality TV is that it isn’t reality. You put two enormously attractive people under ideal romantic conditions for six weeks and you call that the basis of a lasting relationship? Come on, Lois!”

“Since when are you Doctor Phil? Clark, I’m telling you. Even you and your sacred privacy would fall for this girl.”

“Lois, I stay away from women whose first and last name begins with the same letter.”

“But Clark!...Hey wait a minute. My first and last name begins with the same letter.”

The landing strip of the airport was now within sight. A crack of thunder filled the air.

”What was that, Clark?”

“I told you. It’s my dishwasher.”

“What are you washing? Hand grenades? Clark….”

A bolt of lightning struck the cell phone in Clark’s hand and burnt it to a crisp. Clark let the fragments fall from his hand as the plane landed on the ground.

”I didn’t want that phone anyway.”

End of Chapter One

**********

[SVsleuth]

Hi, Dave. What a surprise to see you posting this here.

To all my K-Site buddies...you should definitely give this a read. omk will make you laugh.

[Nemu]

I second SVsleuth in sending the invitation to all to read this...

Dave has the very good ability to mix drama and comdey in practically every chapter and this fic is awesome!!!

[The Black Cat]

I love it!!! PPMS!!!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Two

”No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.”

Six Months Later

Clark and Lois had just finished their lunch and were walking back to the Daily Planet. It was a crisp January afternoon. Lois wore a heavy wool topcoat over her dress while Clark was outfitted in just a suit and was seemingly oblivious to the cold temperature. Being observant as usual, Lois noticed that the barely above freezing temperature didn’t seem to be affecting Clark.

And as usual, Lois came to a conclusion as to the reason.

”Clark, I think you should see a doctor.”

Clark didn’t look at Lois as he shook his head. ”Here we go again.”

“Why should I see a doctor, Lois?”

“I think you have high blood pressure.”

“Now why would you say that?”

“Look at you. It’s almost freezing outside and you’re just in a suit jacket.”

“I’m not cold.”

“Obviously you’re not cold because your blood pressure is high. It’s probably due to the maximum daily allowance of grease and fat in your diet.”

Clark just shook his head and continued to walk. Lois continued her lecture.

”They have medication for high pressure. Although I hear there are some side effects like erectile dysfunction.”

Clark didn’t answer her. Lois took hold of his arm and stopped him.

”Clark, you have to end this state of denial. I understand that you don’t want to go on medication because Clark Junior may go soft on you but you have to look at the big picture. What’s more important? Your life or Clark Junior’s life?”

“I don’t have high blood pressure, Lois. Maybe you’re cold because you have thin blood. Maybe you’re anemic. You know, I read somewhere that anemia can cause frigidity in women.”

Clark finished his sentence as they entered the Daily Planet and took the elevator to the City Room. As the doors opened Lois could be heard.

”What do mean, I’m anemic? Has Oliver said anything to you? And I am certainly not frigid! I’m the most orgasmic woman I know! What? Jeez! One night I don’t get the Big O and word goes out to the world that I’m frigid. I….”

Lois stopped when she noticed that all the heads in the newsroom were turned in her direction. Clark couldn’t keep himself from adding,

“I don’t know, Lois. You look kind of pale to me. Maybe it’s all the lettuce you eat. I guess it’s called Iceberg lettuce for a reason.”

Lois pulled out a compact from her purse and immediately started checking her face in the mirror. Perry White came out of his office and walked over the Lois and Clark.

”Perry, do I look pale to you?”

“Great Shades of Elvis, Lois! You know I don’t go for commenting on women’s looks. Like the King said, they look like an angel. Talk like an angel. Walk like an angel. But I got wise. You’re the …..”

“But Perry, I just wanted to know….”

“Lois! I never met a woman yet who didn’t know if she was good looking or not without being told and some of them give themselves credit for more than what they got.”

Clark chuckled to himself over Perry’s comments. Clark had noticed that since Perry’s divorce and several failed attempts to get back into the dating scene his attitude towards women was sometimes less than complimentary. Jimmy Olsen joined the group and White continued to speak.

”I just got off the phone with an old college chum of mine, Blake Whitaker. He’s President of the Entertainment Division of ABC Television. They have a big event coming up and one of you will be assigned to cover it.”

Both Clark and Lois looked at one another with dismay. The reputations of Lane and Kent were not made by writing fluff. Lois stepped forward and spoke up.

”But Perry, we cover hard news. Real news. Clark and I are the sentinels guarding the First Amendment of the Constitution. We ensure that our government is of the people, by the people and for the people. We don’t do Entertainment.”

“The assignment is in Hawaii.”

“I’ll do it!”

Clark watched silently as Lois enthusiastically volunteered. He decided to remain silent for the moment until he found out more.

”What’s this about, Perry?”

White motioned to Jimmy to turn on the television in the center of the City Room. Perry instructed Jimmy to turn to the E Channel. Perry spoke as Jimmy adjusted the volume of the television.

”Blake told me that the announcement should be made just about now.”

One of the E Entertainment news anchors appeared on the screen.

”And big news from ABC….”

The final scene of The Bachelor with Jason Teague proposing to Missy Mason was displayed on the monitor as the anchor continued with a voiceover. The buxom woman with long blonde hair and full red lips in the picture was wearing a low cut, blood red mini-dress that displayed her most noticeable assets as two globes straining to be released. Teague was all smiles as he and the bombshell, who oozed sex from every pore in her body, heatedly embraced. It was obvious from the expression on their faces that the couple could hardly wait to be alone and unclothed. It was moments after she had accepted Teague’s proposal and his ring and Missy was already loosening his tie and drool was building up on the corners of his mouth like a dog about to be fed a T-bone steak. Lois commented on what she was seeing.

”Men are such pigs. You’re ruled by something other than your brains.”

Clark, Perry and Jimmy just stared at her. Lois elaborated.

”Well you are! Except Clark here. Clark’s ruled by I don’t know what. He’s Mister Backbone of Steel. But it’s obvious that Teague didn’t choose Missy because of her brains, personality and future maternal instincts. I’m told that she thought cooking was a city in China. My guess is that she cleaned his plumbing out the night before and sucked his brains out along with everything else that wasn’t bolted down.”

Perry winced and he commented to Jimmy.

”I know women are supposed to be considered equal to men and all that stuff and I don’t think anyone can ever say that I treat men and women differently here at the Planet. But I don’t think I’ll ever get used to a woman using the same crass language as a man.”

“Cut the crap, Perry. I’m just saying what you’re already thinking.”

The anchor continued speaking.

”In the biggest surprise of last season’s, The Bachelor, Jason Teague stunned the world by not proposing to Bachelorette, Lana Lang, and instead asked Bachelorette Missy Mason for her hand in marriage. Now the loser of the competition, Lana Lang,….

”Men are ruled by something other than your brains. Except Clark here.” Clark thought over what Lois had just said. He didn’t know whether he was being complimented or insulted. He decided not to be pulled into whatever trap Lois was setting. He left the trio and went to his desk just as an image of Lana Lang was displayed. He paid no attention to the audio or the video of the telecast.

”Now the loser of the competition, Lana Lang, will be the latest Bachelorette. Ms. Lang will get to choose among 25 of the most eligible bachelors in the world. Millionaires, billionaires, professional athletes, actors, models and rock stars will be included in the group. Lana Lang gets to choose her soul mate this time.

And in the latest twist – Jason Teague will be among the 25 bachelors. Teague and Missy Mason have ended their engagement. Teague stated that he didn’t know what came over him six months ago. That he always intended to propose to Ms. Lang.”

Lois commented.

”It’s not a question of what came over him but who came over him.”

Perry White added.

”Plus the word on the street has it that Mason wasn’t too keen on signing the pre-nup that Teague’s daddy insisted on.”

The commentary continued.

”So now Jason Teague is begging for forgiveness from Lana Lang but he will have to go through the same elimination process for her that she had to go through for him. With this new twist, The Bachelorette is expected to dominate the ratings in this upcoming season and three hundred million Americans will be glued to their television sets.”

Perry turned off the set.

”The Daily Planet is sending someone out to Hawaii to cover The Bachelorette from beginning to end. The goal is for ABC to boost its ratings and the Daily Planet to sell more newspapers in a joint effort. I want the inside scoop. From soup to nuts I want to know everything that’s going on both in front of the camera and behind the scenes. That’s why I’ve decided that investigative reporting would be more productive than entertainment reporting for this event. And with one of your two names assigned to this, we’d be giving this event a certain gravitas that it normally wouldn’t receive.”

Lois looked quizzically at Jimmy.

”Gravitas?”

“Importance.”

“Oh right. Gravitas. That’s me. Lois Gravitas Lane.”

Lois could hardly contain her excitement at the thought of traveling to Hawaii.

”So I’ll go home and pack my bags.”

Perry stopped her.

”Lois, I’m giving Clark this assignment.”

“Why?”

“Because I think that a man has a better chance to get other men to open up rather than a woman.”

“I can get men to open up.”

“I don’t mean their zippers, Lois.”

Lois was about to argue but Clark’s hearing kicked in at the sound of name being mentioned. He immediately jumped to his feet and rejoined the group.

”Whoa! Wait a minute, Perry! I’ve got more important things to do than cover a bunch of primped up beautiful people who are looking for love in all the wrong places.”

“Uh huh. Exactly what do you have to do, Clark?”

“I’ve got stories to cover right here in Metropolis.”

“Lois can cover your stories.”

Lois now teamed with Perry to confront Clark. She stood in front of him with her arms crossed.

”Yeah. I can cover your stories.”

“Well, I’ve got other things to do right here in Metropolis.”

Lois moved forward and faced off against Clark.

”Yeah? What things? Things with your… friends?”

Clark hesitated. The last thing he wanted to reveal was any reference to his extracurricular activities as Superman.

”You know. Things. Important things. Responsibility like things.”

“What responsibilities do you have, Clark? After all, it’s not like you’re married.”

Clark remained silent. ”How do I explain that I have to fight for truth, justice and the American way?” Perry patted Clark on the shoulder.

”They’re expecting you on the set on Monday, son. By the way, the opening and closing episodes will be broadcast live.”

The group broke up. As Lois walked away she looked at Clark who was visibly upset with the assignment.

”Clark, you don’t look so well. Have you been taking your vitamins? Maybe you should see a doctor.”

Perry walked away with Jimmy.

”Chief, what’s the real reason you’re sending Clark instead of Lois?”

“High fuel prices and Clark’s forgetfulness.”

“Huh?”

“Jimmy, you know that gas prices have gone through the roof and airfare has become very expensive.”

“Sure. Who doesn’t know that?”

“Well in the three years that Clark had worked here I’ve sent him all over the world and he has never remembered to turn in an airline ticket for expense reimbursement. He’s never sent me a taxi fare or a rental car bill. Just hotels and meals. He’s saved me a bundle with his forgetfulness. Remember, Jimmy. No good deed goes unpunished.”

“Shrewd, Chief. Very shrewd.”

**********

Lana Lang was preparing to go through the security area at Metropolis International Airport. Her parents, Lewis and Laura, were with her. Her parents could go no further in the airport since they weren’t ticketed passengers. Laura affectionately hugged Lana as did Lewis. Lana said goodbye and was about to get in line for the security check when Lewis spoke.

”Lana, you don’t have to do this. You have beauty, brains and personality. You run a successful modeling agency. Boys have been lining up for you since you entered adolescence. You don’t have to travel across the ocean to find your soul mate.”

“I know I don’t, Dad. But this time I’m just doing it for some fun.”

Laura joined in.

”Lana, your father and I worry about you. You’re going out to Hawaii to be part of this ‘reality’ program and Dad and I feel you’re just going to have your heart broken again.”

“My heart wasn’t broken the first time. I thought I was in love with Jason but I think I was in love with the idea of being in love. I just sort of got swept away with the whole romance thing and got caught up in the moment.”

“I don’t understand why you’re letting them include Jason this time?”

“Everyone deserves a second chance, Mom. Even Jason. Maybe he’s learned something.”

Lewis murmured underneath his breath.

”Maybe he learned to keep his thing in his pants.”

Laura elbowed Lewis in his ribs.

“Lewis, don’t speak that way in front of your daughter!”

Then Laura directed her comments to her daughter.

”Anyone who comes close to hurting our daughter goes to the top of your father’s hit list. Right now Jason is up there with politicians and the oil companies. Lana, I just don’t understand why you can’t find a nice boy right here in Metropolis.”

Lewis followed up on Laura’s comment.

”Your mother’s right. There’s probably someone outside this building right now who’s perfect for you. You just haven’t found him yet. He’s probably right in front of you and you don’t even know it.”

**********

The taxi pulled up to the air terminal and Clark exited the vehicle. The driver retrieved Clark’s single suitcase from the trunk and brought it to the curb. A smile came to the driver’s face as Clark rewarded him with a substantial tip. As the taxi left Clark wrote down the amount of the fare and tip in a small notebook. ”Send me on a crap assignment will you? You’ll get yours, Perry. I’ve been letting you off easy all these years. Flying myself to wherever you wanted me. I’ve saved you thousands. No. Tens of thousands of dollars in airfare expenses. Not this time. I’m vouchering everything. You’re going to be hit with a bill like you’ve never seen before. You bet better hope the hotel room doesn’t have a wet bar because if it does I’m going to empty it out – every single day!”

As Clark walked through the doors of the airport terminal he realized that this was the first in his life that he would travel on an airplane as a passenger and like all new travelers he became a little anxious. ”Act like you know what you’re doing.” He followed the signs directing people to the check in counters. As he waited in line he noticed several signs.

Bags weighing over 50 lbs are subject to a $25 fee.

Your 1st checked bag is not subject to a fee. Your second checked bag is subject to a $25 fee.

Clark waited a few minutes but the line of passengers moved quickly. He was finally called to the counter and checked in his bag. He placed it on the scale. The counter attendant read the weight.

”Forty five pounds. You’re just under the weight limit.”

“I understand that there’s $25 fee if it weighs over fifty pounds?”

“Yes, sir. That’s correct but you’re under the limit.”

Without the attendant seeing Clark placed the tip of his index finger on his bag and pressed downward. The reading on the scale moved up to sixty pounds. ”Take that, Perry!

”I think you better read your scale again.”

The attendant looked at the scale and shook her head.

”How could I have missed that?”

“I guess you’ll have to charge me an extra $25.”

The attendant looked at Clark and then looked at the name on his ticket.

”Mister Kent, it isn’t often that I find an honest individual. I’ll let you go this time.”

“No. No. Miss, I appreciate the gesture but I can’t let you do that. Rules are there for a reason. Here’s my corporate charge card. Go ahead and ring me up.”

In the slot next to him Clark saw a family of four that was checking in for a trip to Orlando, Florida and Disney World. Each person had two suit cases.

”Excuse me, Miss. Are those people going to be charged extra for all of those bags?”

The attendant looked at the number of people and the number of bags.

”Yes, Mister Kent. That’s one extra bag per person and four people. So it will cost $100.”

“Put that on my card too.”

“Really? You want to pay for their bags? Do you know these people?”

Clark shook his head.

”You want to pay the additional fee for total strangers?”

Clark nodded his head. The attendant told the family that Clark was offering to pay for their baggage. They gratefully accepted the offer and the father shook Clark’s hand. As Clark left the counter to make his way to the gate, the mother of the family commented on how nice a man Clark was. The attendant nodded and smiled.

”Yes. I know. Very unusual.”

The attendant stopped and thought about what she had just said. ”Unusual?” She then picked up the phone and punched in three digits.

”Hello, Security…”

Clark kept his laptop as a carryon bag and went up the escalators to the security checkpoint at the entrance to a long corridor that led to the gates for the departing flights. The area was roped off so that everyone was funneled into certain lines. People were emptying the contents of their pockets into plastic trays and removing their shoes. Clark noticed the back of a woman with dark hair that extended down her back. Once she removed her shoes Clark noticed that she lost a few inches in height. Although he couldn’t see her face he found her petite frame highly attractive. ”Must be a primitive, caveman, protector instinct in me.” He shook it off and then noticed that the female security guard seemed to recognize the woman and exchanged some friendly banter with her. ”Must be a celebrity.” He got back to the matter at hand and emptied his own pockets and took off his shoes, preparing to go through the metal detector. He was now in front of a security guard who was about a foot shorter than Clark. The guard was just getting off the telephone. Clark handed the guard his ticket and his passport. Even though it was a domestic flight Clark thought that the passport would be a more credible form of identification rather than a driver’s license. The security guard carefully inspected the ticket and the passport.

”Are you traveling for business or for pleasure, Mister Kent?”

“Business.”

“Business? To Hawaii?”

Clark nodded his head. The guard looked away from Clark to another guard. The other guard acknowledged the look and came over to them and was handed Clark’s ticket and passport. He took a few moments to look over the items.

”Mister Kent, please step out of the line and come with me.”

Clark noticed that his laptop had gone through the X-ray machine and now a security guard had the cover opened and was carefully inspecting the device. Heads started to turn in Clark’s direction.

”What’s going on?”

“I need you to come with me, sir.”

“Why?”

“Standard procedure.”

Clark looked at all of the other travelers who were passing through the metal detectors and then making their way to their flights.

”If it’s so standard why isn’t it happening to anyone else?”

Clark’s response only seemed to bring more security guards into the situation. Right at this moment Clark was very tempted to transform himself into Superman but common sense came to the rescue. ”Don’t overreact, Clark. Remember. You’re a mild mannered reporter.” The guard repeated his order and Clark stepped out of the line without his shoes and followed him.

Clark was led to a small room. There were two armed guards standing outside the door. Inside he found a couple of folding chairs and a small table.

”Mister Kent, I’m going to have to ask you to remove all of your clothes.”

“Excuse me?”

“Please remove your clothing.”

There was a mirror on the wall. Clark activated his X-ray vision and saw that it was a two-way mirror. There was a room on the other side. At the moment no one was in the room. Clark let a hint of stubbornness appear.

”No.”

“Then I’m going to have to place you under arrest.”

“On what charge?”

“Resisting a Federal officer.”

Clark felt the anger rise within him. “Federal officer? If you weren’t a security guard at an airport you’d be at a drive-in window asking me if I wanted fries with my burger. You’re just a punk with a gun who is abusing his power.” Clark inhaled deeply and let his anger subside. He realized that if he didn’t cooperate the situation would soon escalate. He looked at the guard’s name tag and committed his name to memory. ”Your boss is going to get an angry letter. If I were you I’d start looking for a new job.” He took off his suit jacket and began to unbutton his shirt. Another guard entered the room and began to inspect Clark’s clothing.

”Exactly what are you looking for….officer?”

“Anything unusual. Do you have all of your clothes made in London?”

“No. My shoes are made in Italy, my shirts in Hong Kong and my underwear is made in Sri Lanka. Is that a crime?”

The guard didn’t answer. Clark’s hearing became activated when he heard someone enter the room on the other side of the mirror. He activated his X-ray vision and saw that it was a woman. When he removed his shirt and his undershirt the woman’s jaw dropped upon seeing his ripped frame. The woman left the room behind the mirror but returned a few seconds later with several other women accompanying her. Clark turned so that his back was to the mirror and stopped removing his clothes.

”Is this enough?”

“I’m afraid not, Mister Kent.”

Clark removed his shoes, his socks and his trousers. He stood facing the security guards in his boxer shorts. He was thankful that he didn’t have to wear his Superman outfit underneath his clothes. He started to hear a thumping noise in his ears. It took a few moments for him to realize that he was hearing the collective heartbeats of the women in the other room.

”Enough?

The guard didn’t answer. He just motioned with his hand that everything was to come off.

Clark removed his last remaining article of clothing. He was trying to keep from blushing and brought his hand up to his brow.

”Is something wrong, Mister Kent?”

“I’m standing stark naked in front of two security guards and I don’t know why. No. Nothing’s wrong. Everything is just peachy.”

He heard one of the women in the adjacent room whisper.

”Make him turn around to face the mirror. Please! Make him turn around!”

The guard motioned for Clark to turn around and face the mirror. Clark hesitated.

”Why do I have to turn around?”

“So I can see your back.”

“Can’t you walk around me?”

“No! I can’t. Now please cooperate.”

Clark slowly turned around so that he was now facing the mirror. He closed his eyes so that he wouldn’t be tempted to use his X-ray vision to see the faces in the other room.

However, he had trouble turning off his hearing.

”Mama Mia! That’s a spicy meatball!”

“Is he a porno star?”

“I just wet myself!”

“Is he married?”

“I’m in lust!”

“I want his baby!”

“I’m leaving my husband.”

“Get his phone number!”

“The hell with the phone number. Get a ruler.”

"The hell with the ruler. Get a yardstick."

“I want him for my slave. No wait. I want to be his slave!”

“Someone call Ripley’s!”

“I thought concealed weapons weren’t allowed on airplanes.”

“Please tell me he’s a Republican!”

Clark was wincing as he heard the comments in between the giggles. The guards finally told him to turn from the mirror. He heard a collective groan from the other side of the wall. The guards gave him back his clothes. As he was putting them one of the guards started to explain.

”We always investigate suspicious activity, Mister Kent.”

“What suspicious activity?”

“You paid the 2nd bag fee for four total strangers.”

“That’s suspicious?”

“We treat that the same way as if you had asked them to take something on the plane for you.”

Clark was now in a rush. His plane was leaving at any minute. He haphazardly buttoned his shirt, pulled up his pants and slipped on his untied shoes. With his jacket and laptop in his arms he quickly left the room and made his way to the gate. It took all of his self-control to keep from super speeding. As he left the room he heard the guard shout out,

”Remember, Mister Kent. No good deed goes unpunished.”

**********

Lana Lang had chatted with the woman security guard as she took off her shoes and walked through the metal detector. The woman recognized Lana from The Bachelor and like the scores of other fans, she felt like she was talking to a friend. As Lana put her shoes back on her feet she noticed that there was some kind of commotion in the back of the line. She looked back and saw the back of a very tall man as he was being led by the guards away from the security checkpoint. ”I wonder what that’s about?” She walked to the gate and briefly waited until the passengers began to board. Since ABC was paying all of her expenses Lana was flying in the first class section of the plane and was one of the first people to board.

Lana entered the first class section of the plane and saw that a comfortable leather window seat was waiting for her. One of the flight attendants took Lana’s carryon and carefully packed it into the overhead bin. As Lana buckled her seatbelt the flight attendant spoke,

”May I get you a glass of champagne, Ms. Lang?”

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

The attendant came back with the champagne and started a conversation as the attendants were about ready to close the door and the plane was preparing to leave the gate and taxi to the runway.

”All of us here are rooting for you, Ms. Lang. You built up quite a following with The Bachelor.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. You should see all the mail I get.”

“Really. Any proposals?”

“At least a dozen a day.”

“Wow! So do you think it will really happen this time?”

“What will happen?”

“You know. Do you think you’ll find the love of your life?”

“Oh I don’t know. To be perfectly honest with you I’m not really looking for the love of my life. If I find him I find him. If I don’t I don’t.”

“Well Ms. Lang, my daddy always told me that it’s always when you’re not looking for something that something finds you. It just sort of drops in on you.”

Both women turned as the heard footsteps running towards the door of the plane. In through the door rushed a tall, dark haired man who had to duck his head as he came through the entrance. He seemed to be disheveled as his shirt was only partially buttoned and the tails of his shirt were partially out of his pants. He had his suit jacket bunched up in his arms along with his laptop. He came through the door and boomed into the seat next to Lana. She grasped the champagne glass with both of her hands to keep it from spilling. Lana became distracted when her feet began to ache. She turned her attention from the stranger next to her to her feet by taking off her shoes and rubbing her toes.

The man’s eyeglasses were about to fall off his head and he pushed them securely onto his nose. He smiled nervously at the flight attendant.

”Didn’t think I was going to make it.”

The attendant wasn’t amused.

”What are you doing, sir?”

“I’m sitting here.”

“I don’t think so. This seat is reserved. Let me see your boarding pass.”

He shuffled through his pockets and pulled out a crunched up ticket. The attendant examined it.

”You’re in seat 26C back in coach.”

“You mean I can’t sit here?”

“No sir. You can’t.”

“But this seat is empty.”

“This isn’t a bus, sir. Haven’t you ever been on a plane before?”

He didn’t seem to know what to say. He rose from the seat and it was plain to see that the smile he gave to the attendant was forced. He left the seat and made his way to the back of the plane. The annoyed attendant turned her attention back to Lana. She shook her head as she spoke.

”You meet all kinds in this job.”

**********

Clark didn’t mean to startle anyone and he was surprised at the way he had landed in the seat in first class. As Superman, he is always very graceful in his movements. But in restraining his powers to run at human speed he went through the door of the plane and into the seat in First Class like a 225lb pound halfback going right smack into the heart of the defensive line on the goal line for a touchdown. No grace. Just smash mouth football. He could see the attendant was angry with him and he was too embarrassed to look directly at the woman who was seated near the window. He stood up and moved his large frame through the narrow aisle to the back of the plane looking for seat 26C. He could hear several people commenting as he walked by.

”So that’s who we’ve been waiting for. He’s held up the whole freaking plane.”

Clark did his best to ignore the comments and smile to the passengers who were looking directly at him. Actually they were glaring at him.

”Row 22….23….24….25….Row 26”

He was assigned the window seat in the last row of the plane. In the aisle seat and the middle seat were a young man and a young woman who were oblivious to their surroundings and locked onto each other’s mouth in an all encompassing make out session. Clark looked up from the couple and saw that almost the entire plane was filled with young couples. Most were seated together. Those who could not be seated together were seated across the aisle from each other and holding hands. ”What the hell is going on?” Clark thought for a moment. Then it came to him. ”Hawaii. Honeymooners.” Clark took some satisfaction that he was able to arrive at the answer in the same way he uncovered a mystery for a news story. Then he turned his attention to the matter at hand. He spoke quietly.

”Excuse me. I have to get to the window seat.”

The couple ignored him as they continued to explore the inside of each other’s mouth.

”Please. I’d just like to get through.”

Clark extended his arm and tapped the man on the shoulder.

”Excuse me, sir.”

The man shrugged the tap away. Clark tapped again. This time the man looked up at Clark. He appeared as if he was just awakening out of a coma. As he looked up the woman, who Clark assumed to be the man’s newlywed wife, began to work on his ear and neck. The man could barely speak.

”Huh?”

“Excuse me, sir. I’d like to get to my seat.”

“Huh?”

“My seat is by the window.”

“Hmmm!”

Instead of stopping the heated session the man just pulled his legs closer to his seat cushion and, using his arms, pulled on his wife’s legs to move closer to the seat cushion. This created an additional one and three quarter’s inches of space for Clark to move through. The flight attendant was now by Clark’s side and her agitation was visible.

”Sir, you have to take your seat. We can’t take off until you’re buckled in and secure.”

“I know. I’m trying…..”

The flight attendant didn’t wait for Clark to finish his response. She pulled Clark’s laptop case out of his hands along with his thousand dollar, tailor made suit jacket. She hurriedly wrapped the case in his jacket and placed the items roughly in the overhead bin.

”Please take your seat, sir!”

Clark pushed through the couple to get to his seat. It seemed as he squeezed through the pressure on their legs intensified the sensations they were feeling and Clark began to hear quiet little moans from them. He sat down and buckled his seat belt. His legs were right up against the back of the seat in front of him. He knew he needed to be extra careful. One slight push forward with his legs would cause the seat in front of him to be torn out of the floor of the plane.

Everyone was now buckled in and the plane was leaving the gate. The engines were revving up as the plane made its way to the runway. The plane was just about to turn onto the runway when it stopped. The engines idled down. The familiar tone of the intercom sounded and the pilot’s voice was heard.

”Ladies and Gentlemen, unfortunately we missed our window to take off. We’re going to have to wait here a while on the runway until we get clearance. Hopefully, it won’t be too long.”

A collective groan was heard throughout the plane. Clark looked away from the window and kept his head down. He didn’t need his X-ray vision to know that every single head in the plane (with the exception of the couple next to him) was turning in his direction. He didn’t need his enhanced hearing to know that the words being directed at him were not Happy Birthday.

End of Chapter Two

**********

[Nemu]

poor Clark... his "journey" sure is starting in the worst fashion...

[The Black Cat]

Another excellent chapter!!! PPMS!!!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Three

”Flying The Friendly Skies.”

Clark didn’t know the exact moment or exactly where over the United States it happened but somewhere at 35,000 feet between Metropolis and Honolulu he decided that his first flight as a passenger on an airplane would also be his last.

First off, he felt that the inside of the spaceship that brought him to Earth as a baby probably had more room than the seat he was confined to. As soon as the plane reached cruising altitude and the seatbelt sign was turned off the passenger seated in front of Clark pushed back his seat to its maximum length. With the tray lowered from the rear of the seat it was practically against Clark’s chest.

Secondly, this was the good part of the flight.

Since Clark was in the last seat of the plane he was the last passenger to be offered refreshments. Soft drinks and juice were free. Domestic beer was four dollars a can and imported beer was five dollars a can. Clark was thirsty and was tempted to ask for three cans of imported beer at once and charge it to his expense account. But his lateness and the resulting delay in the plane’s departure had already placed him at the top spot on everyone’s public enemies list and he didn’t want the additional embarrassment of being flagged as having a drinking problem even though alcohol didn’t affect him. Instead he asked for a Coke. The attendant filled a small plastic cup with ice and then opened a can of Coca Cola, poured it over the ice and handed the cup to Clark along with a small pack of salted peanuts and a small cocktail napkin. Then she walked away with the more than half full can of soda.

”Excuse me, Miss.”

“You mean Ms.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m a Ms. Not a Miss. This is the 21st century.”

“Ms. May I have the entire can of Coke?”

“You want the whole can?”

“Yes, please.”

“Well, I never heard of such a thing.”

“You never heard of anyone drinking an entire can of Coke?”

“I never heard of anyone asking for one.”

The attendant didn’t hide her displeasure with Clark’s request. She took the can and forcefully smacked it down on his tray so that the soda splashed out of the can and onto the tray and onto Clark’s legs. As she moved away Clark spoke again.

”Ms?”

“What is it now, sir?”

“May I have few more napkins?”

“I gave you a napkin with your drink, sir.”

Clark looked at the little white cocktail napkin that was now soaked and stained with the splashed Coca Cola.

”I think I need some more to clean up this spill.”

“You can use the paper towels from the rest room behind you.”

And with that declaration the attendant rolled her eyes and walked away. Clark now had to lift up his tray and move across the two seats next to him to get into the aisle in order to get to the restroom.

The two seats with the newlywed couple who were still oblivious to their surroundings and still continuing the explorative activities of their wedding night.

The couple had removed the barrier of the armrest between them by moving it upward into the back of their seats. Their arms and legs were intertwined with each other and their hands had disappeared inside each other’s clothing. Clark tried to keep his eyes from looking at the couple but he couldn’t help but notice that they were still involved in a heavy duty discovery and reconnoitering of each other’s mouth, ears and neck. ”Don’t they need to breathe?” He also noticed that the wife had loosened the belt around her blue jeans and her husband’s hands had disappeared into the rear of the blue denim fabric pulling it down to such an extent that his wife’s white undergarments were now visible. Repulsed and drawn at the same time to the promiscuous display, Clark forced himself to look away and squeezed through the minute space between the couples legs and the back of the seat in front of them.

”Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me.”

Clark was answered with,

”Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmmmm.”

Clark made it through and was now standing in the aisle of the plane. He took hold of the door knob to the rest room and found that it wouldn’t move. He jiggled it several times and then heard a booming, masculine voice on the other side of the door.

”What’s your problem, buddy? Can’t you read?”

Clark’s eyes then moved to the small sign by the doorknob.

OCCUPIED

**********

Lana Lang was being treated like royalty in the first class section of the plane. In addition to a seemingly limitless amount of champagne she was served an array of fine foods. The flight started with a fruit and cheese platter, a main dinner entree of filet mignon with a salad and a strawberry tart dessert.

The seat next to her remained empty. ABC had purchased two seats for Lana in order to ensure her comfort and privacy. Every flight attendant on the plane spent time talking with her as did the pilot and co-pilot. All who asked for an autograph received one and all wished her good luck. Everyone seemed to be under the spell of an impending romance for her. However, in private she could only shake her head at the idea.

Lana moved her luxurious hair back from her ears and placed her headphones on. Each seat had an individual video screen and Lana searched through the menu to find something interesting. She came across a cut from Entertainment Tonight. Before her was an image of Jason Teague being interviewed by one of the reporters from Entertainment Tonight.

”Everyone makes mistakes and I certainly made a whooper. I plead temporary insanity. But I’m grateful to be given a second chance.”

Then he looked directly in the camera.

”Lana, if you’re out there. I’ve never been more certain of anything than how I feel about you. You know that you and I know we are meant to be together.

And to the twenty four other bachelors. You might as well go home now. Don’t even bother to show up. The last man standing with the rose will be me!”

Lana didn’t know how to feel over what she had just heard. She didn’t know what to feel about Jason. Confidence was attractive. Arrogance was not. Was he genuine in his declaration or was he playing for the camera? He had hurt her once before. Not from a lovelorn perspective but from a lack of respect for her. But that was all in the past. ”Water under the bridge.” He had changed. Or had he?

Lana switched channels and came to a news report. It was an event from the previous day. Superman had prevented the meltdown of a nuclear reactor in the Orient. A smile came to her face. Lana was always amazed at Superman. ”He’s involved in so much yet he never seeks the spotlight.” He rarely stayed around the site of one of his rescues. He gave no interviews. He made no public appearances. All he did was get the job done. He let his actions speak for themselves. Scores of people worshiped him. Every celebrity and politician envied him. But he sought neither fame nor fortune. Despite all of the tabloids and the stories about him, Superman remained a mystery.

Lana kept her admiration of Superman hidden. ”Me and a zillion other women.” Lana had heard rumors that the studio executives were seeking Superman for a new ‘Bachelor’ program but no one could get any information on him. No one could find him. No one even knew if he was a bachelor. ”God! Superman on the Bachelor. Hold me back!” She daydreamed for a moment of what would happen if Superman was one of the contestants on The Bachelorette. ”I should be so lucky. We could end this show in one episode. Superman, here’s your rose. Everyone else can go home.” Lana forced herself back to reality. She scolded herself on acting like lovesick schoolgirl.

Lana’s channel surfing was interrupted when out of the corner of her eye she saw a small commotion in the aisle. The tall, dark man who had mistaken the empty seat next to her as his own was back in first class. The flight attendant had intercepted him before he got to the first class restroom. With the headphones on Lana couldn’t hear what was being said. The attendant turned the man back towards the coach section. Lana felt sorry for the man. ”Hey. If you gotta go you gotta go.”

Lana looked at the selection of movies and didn’t find anything to her liking. The champagne was now taking effect. Lana stretched out into the soft leather seat and fell asleep.

**********

Clark had waited and waited and waited at the door of the restroom in coach. Several times he gently tapped on the door.

”Excuse me, sir. Are you alright in there?”

“Get away from that door or I’ll come out there and smash ya!”

”Who is this guy with the booming voice?” Clark was tempted to X-ray the restroom and see who was threatening him. ”I really shouldn’t do this but…” Clark activated his X-ray vision and looked through the door of the restroom. Seated on the bowl was a small, elderly man with a copy of Playboy spread out on his lap. Clark immediately deactivated his vision. ”I really didn’t need to see that.”

Clark took a deep breath and looked at the stain on his trousers. It was no longer a matter of wiping the spilled Coca Cola with a handful of paper towels. The soda had long ago soaked through and spread out. It was now a matter of getting some clean, cold water on his pants to prevent staining and the ruination of one half of a thousand dollar suit. Clark was wishing that he had some sort of Oxi-Clean breath.

Clark saw that the aisle was clear all the way up to first class. So he decided to use the restroom at the front of the plane. Unfortunately, the flight attendant proved to be a kryptonite-type barrier for him. No amount of explaining the situation to her helped in getting her to relent and let him use the restroom in first class.

”First class is first class for a reason, sir. If you don’t get back to your seat I’ll have the air marshal come up here and place you under arrest.”

Once again Clark slowly made his way to the back of the plane. He was now back where he started at the restroom door. The sign still said, OCCUPIED. The stain on his pants had dried and set. There was nothing left to do but go back to his seat. Clark hung his head when he realized that this would entail once again getting through the newlywed couple next him. For a brief moment he wondered if they were even clothed anymore. He looked back at his seat.

The couple had disappeared.

”Thank God!” Clark easily slid into his seat, closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the bulkhead. ”Well, at least one thing has gone right today.” Then Clark’s hearing became activated by sounds in the restroom behind him.

”Yes!”

Clark’s eyes opened wide as he heard a rhythmic pounding against the wall behind him and he realized the couple that had been next to him was now in the restroom and fast becoming members of the Mile High Club.

” Yes! Yeeeesssss!”

Clark was now searching for anything to distract him from his surroundings and occupy his time. The seats in coach also had individual video screens like the seats in first class, only smaller. Clark looked through the menu of available movies and shook his head in dismay.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
Gigli
Xanadu

”Xanadu? Who picked these things? The airlines must be worse off than I thought.” Clark then realized that watching a movie was probably the last thing on a honeymooner’s mind. He picked up the Sky Mall Catalog and started perusing through the pages. ”What kind of very expensive, absolutely unnecessary junk do I need to buy?” Clark flipped to a page that contained framed posters of famous people and their inspirational quotes.

”Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
Albert Einstein

”The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.”
Vince Lombardi

”The future depends on what we do in the present.”
Mahatma Ghandi

Clark thought that perhaps something Perry once said to him should be included.

”Get off your butt and get to work.”
Perry White

Clark looked to his left. The newlywed couple had returned from the restroom. They were now asleep in each other’s arms. ”Maybe that’s not such a bad idea.” Clark moved the shade down over the window and closed his eyes and the cares of the day faded away.

**********

The plane arrived at Honolulu in the early afternoon, Hawaiian time. All of the flight attendants and flight crew lined up at the door to say farewell and to wish Lana the best of luck. Lana left the plane with her carryon and was greeted by a representative of the airline and a representative of the show at the gate.

The show’s representative was a young, petite, perky blonde who cheerfully extended her hand to Lana.

”Lana Lang! Hi! I’m Chloe Sullivan!”

Chloe placed a colorful lei around Lana’s neck.

”Aloha!”

The pair led Lana through the airport and past the security entrance. The airline representative was given the claim tickets to Lana’s luggage. Chloe explained that Lana’s luggage would be retrieved and sent onward to the Bachelor mansion which overlooked the magnificent beaches of Hawaii and the crystal blue water of the Pacific Ocean. Chloe led Lana to a stretch limousine that was waiting just outside the airport. The chauffer opened the door and both women entered the vehicle. Chloe sat across from Lana.

”Can I offer you a drink?”

“Oh no. I had plenty on the plane and it put me right to sleep.”

“Well, that’s probably a good thing that you were able to rest because you’re about to have a very busy day. Lana, I will be your personal assistant for the duration of the program. I’m here for anything that may need. Even if you just want to talk I’m here for you.

Now because your plane was late we’re a little rushed. We’ll be driving directly to the mansion where make-up and wardrobe will be waiting for you.

With a little luck you be ready when the first of the 25 bachelors drives up to the door a couple of hours from now.”

After a half hour drive the limousine pulled up to the luxurious Bachelorette mansion where the President of the Entertainment Division of the American Broadcasting Network, Blake Whittaker, was waiting for Lana. Whittaker, 55 years old, tall, fit and tan with a full head of gray hair took Lana by the hand and kissed her on the cheek.

”Lana, it’s so good to see you.”

“Thanks, Mister Whittaker. It’s good to see you.”

“Call me Blake. We were worried about you. Why was your flight delayed?”

“I’m not sure. I think everything was held up by a single person but I don’t know why.”

Whittaker nodded his understanding.

”Well, you’re here and that’s what counts. We don’t have much time. We have the make-up and wardrobe people waiting to get you ready. With your natural looks I don’t think there’s much they have to do. In addition to the clothes you brought with you we will be giving you a complete designer wardrobe and it’s yours to keep.

And Chloe here is your personal assistant. Whenever you need her she’ll be there. 24/7. Right Chloe?”

“Absolutely, Mister Whittaker.”

Lana was flabbergasted at the offer of the wardrobe and the extent to which the network was accommodating her. In running a modeling agency she was well aware of the extravagant expense of designer fashion. Whittaker continued.

I know we’re in a rush and I apologize for that. If it wasn’t for the flight delay things wouldn’t be so hectic. But once makeup and wardrobe are done you should have a little time to relax and then the bachelors will start arriving.

Lana, you’re the most popular Bachelorette we’ve ever had. You gained a legion of fans from the previous show so we’re expecting our highest ratings ever with this show. We’re going all out to promote you and The Bachelorette. In fact, we’re having a reporter from the New York Times or is it the London Times. I don’t know. Some newspaper or magazine or something like that. Not an entertainment reporter but a world renowned journalist. He will be doing an in-depth story on everything and everyone. So you can expect to be talking with him.”

“What’s his name?”

“Oh, I forget his name. If he doesn’t write for Variety I don’t know him. It’s Ken something or other. I’m going to go now and let the crew take over.”

Lana spoke under her breath. ”Ken something or other? I’ll make sure I keep an eye out for someone named Ken.” As Whittaker left the room he gave a slight tap to Chloe’s buttocks. Chloe, slightly embarrassed, tried to make light of Whittaker’s rude maneuver.

”Mr. Whittaker is a real ‘hands-on’ executive.”

**********

”Ahem.”

Clark slowly opened his eyes. He saw that he was still strapped in his seat. He moved the shade up from window and the bright sun hit him in his face. Clark brought his hand up to shield his eyes.

”Ahem.”

Clark looked in the direction of the sound. One of the cleaning people was standing over him. Clark stood up and looked around.

The plane was empty. It was parked at the gate. The passengers and crew had left. The couple that had been next to Clark had disappeared. Now the cleaning crew was on board. No one had bothered to wake up Clark.

Clark looked into the overhead bin and found his laptop with his suit jacket wrapped around it. He looked at his jacket. It was wrinkled to such an extent that only a dry cleaner would be able to straighten out the deep creases. He looked at the dark Coke stain on his pants. ”It’s a good thing I have more than one suit. I better get to baggage claim.”

Clark took his belongings and left the plane. He looked at his watch and realized he was running late. He needed to be on the set at least an hour before the broadcast began. He decided to pick up his baggage and super-speed to his hotel rather than take a taxi. He would check-in, change his clothes and then speed to the Bachelorette Mansion where he would show his press credentials and letter of admittance to the set. Then he would do some light interviews. Maybe even with the lady who was the center of attention. ”We’ll see what makes her so special.” Being in beautiful Hawaii did not lessen Clark’s anger at being given an assignment that he thought was not suitable to his reputation and his journalistic skills.

Clark walked down to Baggage Claim. Luggage popped out of openings in the wall onto several stainless steel conveyer belts. The belts moved in a circular motion and the disembarked passengers waited at the belts until their luggage appeared and then they claimed it.

Clark took a position among the other passengers and waited for his luggage to appear.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Passengers picked up their luggage and the unclaimed amount of it on the conveyer belt grew smaller with each passing minute. As the luggage and the amount of people waiting for their luggage decreased Clark began to feel a queasy feeling in his stomach. A feeling that told him that his plans were about to change and not to his liking.

Finally, the only passenger remaining at Baggage Claim was Clark. The entire amount of luggage had been removed from the conveyer belt and the belt had stopped moving.

Clark was empty handed.

Clark had no choice but to make his way to section of the airport for Lost Luggage. Unlike the flight attendants on the plane he found a pleasant looking woman at the counter. She greeted him with an Aloha. He gave her his name and his flight number. She plugged the information into a computer and read the screen for several seconds.

”Mr. Kent, it seems that the problem you experienced with Security in Metropolis caused your luggage to be removed and inspected. It wasn’t on the same flight with you. It was put on the following flight and should arrive here in Honolulu the day after tomorrow.”

“The day after tomorrow? I don’t understand. I need my luggage now.”

The woman paused for a moment and then smiled at Clark.

”Unfortunately, the following flight was the wrong flight.”

“Wrong flight? Where did it go?”

“Reykjavik.”

“Reykjavik? That’s in Iceland.”

“Yes. It is.”

“That’s in the complete opposite direction of Honolulu.”

“Yes. It is. As soon as your luggage arrives back here in Honolulu we’ll send it to your hotel.”

The attendant looked at Clark’s disheveled and wrinkled appearance.

”Mr. Kent, didn’t you pack a change of clothes in your carryon?”

Clark shook his head. The attendant sighed.

”Experienced travelers know that they should always pack a change of clothes in their carryon just in case something like this happens. I guess you just don’t get around very much. Do you, Mrs. Kent?”

The attendant then saw the absence of a wedding ring on Clark’s left hand.

”Oh! I’m sorry. Of course you wouldn’t know that. You’re not married. A wife would know that type of thing.”

”A wife would know that type of thing? Fine. Next time I’ll make sure I pack a wife in my suitcase.” Clark let out a sigh. He filled out the necessary paper work for the luggage to be delivered to his hotel and left the office. ”Now what am I going to do?” He thought for a moment. ”This is a job for Superman!” Clark speeded to his hotel, the Honolulu Marriott, and checked in. Like the luggage attendant, the clerk at the Registration counter gave Clark a wary look because of his unkempt appearance. But Clark did have a reservation and a corporate credit card to pay for his stay so nothing was said.

”Do you have any luggage, Mr. Kent?”

“Not yet.”

Clark took the elevator up to his room on the 8th floor and entered his room. He peeled off his clothes and in a split second he made the transformation to Superman. He was about to step out the window and launch into the sky when he saw the wet bar in the corner of his room. He read he the sign on the wet bar.

Anything taken from the wet bar will be immediately charged to your room.

Clark opened it up and saw a variety of beers, wines, fresh fruit, cheese and crackers and gourmet candy. Everything was loaded in a grid that contained a sensor that immediately detected if an item was removed. As soon as the sensor was activated a small red light was turned on and the cost of item was charged to the room. Within a few seconds all of the red lights were activated as Clark emptied the grid. The cans of beer and bottles of wine were emptied. All of the food was eaten. Clark smiled and he digested everything. ”Take that, Perry!” Clark stood still for a moment as he felt a slight disturbance in his stomach. ”Am I going to burp?” The disturbance passed without effect.

Clark was out the window and up, up into the sky.

On the way to Iceland.

**********

Lana was led to a room where a team of beauticians was waiting for her. The team was led by a tall, thin African American man wearing tight black leather pants and a white silk shirt opened down to his waist. Surrounding his waist was a leather belt with a buckle that was a huge D. Lana looked at the buckle and thought, ”I hope that’ not an advertisement of what he has in the pants.” He extended his hand to Lana. She placed her hand in his and he placed a slight kiss on the top of her hand.

”I am Dimitrio.”

Lana breathed a sigh of relief. ”So that’s what the D stands for.”

He fingered Lana’s hair in his hands and then he examined her face.

”Oh dear! Dear! Dear! Such a task! Such a task! Lana! Lana! Lana! How did you ever get along without me?”

Lana was somewhat shaken over what she had just heard. She got up from the chair and looked closely at her face in the mirror.

”What? What’s wrong?”

She heard giggling behind her. Lana turned around to see Dimitrio trying to contain his laughter.

”I made a funny! Tee hee! I made a funny and you believed me! Come Lana. Get back in the chair. Sit! Sit! Sit!”

Lana returned to the chair wondering what Dimitrio was up to. He resumed fingering her hair. There were about four other female beauticians standing near him waiting for his orders.

”Now ladies, as you can see Ms. Lang possesses a large degree of exotic beauty. Her complexion is immaculate and her hair is to die for! What I would give for your genes!”

The four women oohed and aahed at Dimitrio’s comments.

”But if we can make a has been, washed up, dried up rag of a soap opera actress look presentable for Dancing With The Stars then we can turn this beautiful, sparkling, young lady into….perfection!”

Lana then underwent two hours of treatment by Dimitrio and his ensemble. Her face was made up. Her hair was arranged and her nails were meticulously manicured. Chloe kept a watchful eye on everything. At times Lana expressed a desire for something to eat or drink. Chloe would get the food and actually feed Lana with a spoon or help her drink through a straw. Dimitrio would not let Lana feed herself in case she would do something to her manicured fingernails.

When the beauticians were finished the wardrobe crew took charge and fitted Lana into a form fitting lavender colored gown that covered her shoulders and back but was bare at the neck. Lana was fitted with diamond earrings. Dimitrio had set her silky hair to cascade past her shoulders and flow down her back.

”Ladies, I give you…perfection!”

Lana stood at the mirror with Chloe.

”Oh, you’re beautiful, Lana!”

Lana just smiled at the compliment but saw no need to make a fuss.

Chloe was surprised by Lana’s nonchalant attitude. Just about any woman who had a beating heart would be a bundle of nerves with 25 distinguished eligible men about to come calling but Lana didn’t seem concerned at all.

”Lana, you don’t seem to be nervous about any of this?”

“I’m not, Chloe.”

“Do you mind if I ask why?”

“No. Of course not. I’m glad to be here on The Bachelorette but the last thing in the world I’m expecting is to meet the love of my life.”

**********

There were hardly any passengers in the airport at Reykjavik, Iceland. It was midnight Iceland time. There were just some cleaning people who gave Clark strange looks as he walked past them in his Superman attire.

Clark entered the Lost Luggage area of the airport. Inside the office was a very tall, very serious looking young man. Whereas the expression of the woman in the Lost Luggage department in Honolulu was friendly, this man’s expression was the exact opposite. The attendant looked less than thrilled to be working the graveyard shift. He looked at Superman without the least bit of surprise or concern.

”Can I help you?”

“Yes. You’ve just had a flight arrive from Metropolis. On that flight was luggage for a friend of mine that was supposed to go to Honolulu. I’d like to claim it and bring it to my friend.”

Clark gave the attendant the luggage claim. The attendant punched in the identification numbers into his computer.

”Your friend is Clark Kent of Metropolis?”

“Yes. He is.”

“And you are?”

Clark was silent for moment as he rehashed in his mind the question he had just heard. His first inclination was to answer sarcastically but he decided to against it.

”I’m Superman.”

The attendant started punching keys on his computer.

”Is that your first name or last name?”

“It’s just my name? One name – Superman.”

“One name. Just like Fabio. Hmmm.”

Clark was dumbstruck. ”Fabio?”

”Your address?”

“You want my address?”

“Uh huh.”

“I don’t have an address.”

“You don’t have an address?”

“No. I’m Superman. I don’t live anywhere.”

“You don’t live anywhere?”

Clark was growing frustrated. He seldom displayed his temper but it was now taking a major effort to keep his ire in check.

”Look, I just want to pick my friend’s luggage. I have the baggage claim stubs. Can I just get his luggage?”

“Well, do you have a notarized letter from your friend stating that you are authorized to pick up his luggage?”

“No.”

“Do you have some form of identification?”

“How about this big S on my chest?”

“I see those every Halloween. Look, Mister Superman, I can’t let you have his luggage until you fill out a chain of custody document and without any type of address I don’t see how we can do that. We can’t let anyone pick up luggage just because they have the baggage claims. For all we know those stubs could be stolen.”

“Stolen? But I’m Superman!”

The attendant looked at Clark with a blank expression that said, “Yeah? So? “Clark was ready to tear apart the counter that the attendant stood behind. Clark struggled to remain calm.

”Can I see your supervisor?”

The attendant let out an exasperated ‘huff’ before he responded.

”It’s 12:30 in the morning. He’s not scheduled to arrive until 7:30am.”

“Can you call your supervisor at home?”

“Only in emergencies and this is hardly an emergency.”

”Hardly an emergency? I have one Coke stained suit and I have to at the Mansion in….” Clark looked at the clock on the wall. ”12:30am Iceland time means it’s 8:30pm Metropolis time. The Bachelorette is scheduled to go on in a half hour. Live! I need to get back to Hawaii! Now!” Clark speeded through the doors to office and flew out of the building.

”Damn!”

The attendant shook his head as Clark whirled out of his view.

”Superman? Yeah, right. Superman would never say damn.”

**********

Oliver Queen was seated on Lois’ sofa in her apartment. Lois was seated next to him. He reached over and placed his arm around her. At the same time he bent his head over to Lois’ and began to caress her neck with small kisses. Soon his hand was traveling up the inside of her thigh. Soft moans began to be heard.

Then Lois abruptly stopped.

”Oliver, what are you doing?”

“I’m kissing your neck.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because….Because….I thought we could….”

Lois pulled her head away and pushed Oliver away from her.

” You’re hoping to get me all hot and lathered so you can have sex. Well not now! The Bachelorette is coming on!”

Lois left the sofa and turned on the television. Oliver sat silently, mumbling to himself.

**********

Cameras were set up around the perimeter of the Bachelorette Mansion to capture every movement. In Los Angeles in the control booth the director sat with two technicians who were ready to switch to any camera that the Director wanted. The one technician turned to the other.

”Bud, so do you think she’ll pick Prince Charmin?”

“I don’t know, Lou. Maybe she’ll surprise everyone. Maybe she’ll get lucky and Superman will show up.”

“Yeah! That’ll be the day”

“Stop the chatter!”

The technicians ceased their conversation and the Director started issuing orders.

Get ready to go live. Five….Four….Three….Two….One….”

**********

Lana stood on a marble platform overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The sun was setting in the background and her hair was blowing slightly in the breeze from offshore. The cameraman directly in front of Lana heard the Director through his headset. ”Okay. That’s perfect. Now give me a closeup.” He did not hear the two technicians whisper,

”Oh man. How I wish I were one of those bachelors.”

“What would a woman like Lana Lang want with a man like you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re fat, ugly, stupid and you smell.”

“I don’t smell! I use deodorant!”

“You use deodorant? What’s it called? Old Tuna Fish Sandwich?”

“Cut the chatter you knuckleheads!”

Lou and Bud turned their attention to the monitors. Lana could feel the warmth of the sun being tempered by the cool breeze. She could hear the engine of one of limousines pull up to the mansion. The door was opened and Bachelor Number 1 exited the vehicle.

End of Chapter Three

**********

[Nemu]

and here starts the roller-coaster ride for Clark lol...

misadventures of Superman...

[LetMeGo]

Poor Clark can't catch a break! I'm loving it so far.

PPMS!

[JEWCY]

good story, keep it up!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Four

”80% Of Success Is Just Showing Up.”

Bachelor Number 1 was Sir Russell Knight Somerset, actor extraordinaire. Born in Wales. Winner of two Academy Awards for Best Actor before the age of thirty. Knighted by Queen Elizabeth. Somerset is best known as a devoted adherent to the ‘Method’ school of acting. When filming he totally inhabits the character. Or rather, the character totally inhabits Somerset. Over the years Somerset had played such a variety of characters both on the stage and screen that many people have wondered just who is the real Russell Knight Somerset?

Somerset was six feet two inches tall and a svelte one hundred and ninety pounds or ‘thirteen and a half stone’ as he put it. His physical condition was superb and his musculature was sinewy due to his extensive work with a personal trainer in preparation for an upcoming film. Somerset was well known for doing his own stunt work and had the remnants of several broken bones and a broken nose to show for his dedication. His hair was jet black and he wore it slicked back over his shirt collar. His eyes were a piercing ice blue.

Lana found Somerset to be charming and Cary Grantish as he introduced himself and then took her hand and kissed the back of it as in the continental manner. He wore a perfect fitting black tuxedo accented by a white carnation and he spoke to Lana with a quiet, cultured British accent. In the five minutes they spent together during their introduction, Somerset continually held Lana’s hand and maintained eye contact with her. When the time came for Somerset to leave so that Lana could be introduced to the next bachelor, Somerset walked away to go into the mansion but halfway there he turned around, caught Lana’s eye and blew her a kiss.

**********

Bachelor Number 2 was A.J. MacMurphy, quarterback of the Metropolis Sharks. MacMurphy was 26 years old, six feet five inches tall and two hundred and forty pounds of solid muscle. He kept his reddish blonde hair cut short. Even though he routinely carried a three days growth of whiskers, his face still had a boyish quality to it. MacMurphy was the Heisman Trophy winner four years earlier from the University of Texas. He was the first pick of the football draft for the lowly Metropolis Sharks and had signed a five year contract in excess of $62 million. In three years he had taken the Sharks from a last place team to a playoff contender. In his first year in the NFL he was named Offensive Rookie of the Year. In his third year in the league he was the runner up for Most Valuable Player. His agent was currently renegotiating with the Shark ownership for a long term contract in excess of $200 million plus a $50 million dollar signing bonus – all guaranteed.

In addition to his athletic skills, MacMurphy had the reputation of being a ‘man about town’ and who frequented the party/nightclub scene usually with a well known model or starlet hanging on his arm. He was a frequent overnight guest at the Playboy Mansion.

Wearing cowboy boots with a blue suit, AJ towered above Lana when they first met. He bent down to kiss her on the cheek. In the brief small talk that they made Lana asked MacMurphy what the initials A & J stood for?

”A & J.”

Was his answer.

“Yes. But what does the A stand for and what does the J stand for?”

“A stands for A and J stands for J.”

As MacMurphy walked away from Lana to go inside the mansion he shook his head in dismay as to how someone could not understand that A just meant A, and J just meant J. Lana wondered how someone could be so dense so as not to understand her question. In the weeks to come Lana would discover that MacMurphy knew how to immediately spot a stunt blitz from a weakside linebacker out of a 3-4 formation during a 3rd and long situation at midfield but did not know the name of the continent where the country of South Africa was located.

**********

Bachelor Number 3 was P Daddy Sugar, a white rap singer who had a small but devoted following. There were several dozen fans standing outside of the Bachelor mansion waiting to catch a glimpse of him. When P Daddy Sugar exited from his limousine Lana heard a ‘Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!’ shouted out from his fans. This happened to be the refrain from his popular song, ‘Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!’, a Grammy Award winner from his platinum CD, ‘P Sugar Daddy Sings Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!’. When P Daddy heard the shout he raised his fist in the air like a conquering hero.

P Daddy Sugar was just slightly taller than Lana and over a hundred pounds heavier. He wore a white tee shirt and a pair of ill advised, tight fitting leather pants that only called attention to his paunch. On top of his shirt was a Lakers jacket and on top of his head was a baseball cap turned backwards. He walked confidently up to Lana and took her hand.

”I want you to know
I don’t do no blow.
Nuttin goes up my nose
Cuz I want your rose.

Love for me is like an itch.
I see you now and I start to twitch.
I want you to know I ain’t just going through the motions
And I sure don’t need no Calamine lotion.

At da end of the show I’ll get down on my knees.
And beg you for your hand and say pretty please.
I’ll treat you right. Just like a lady.
And if you want we’ll even have a baby.

You and me, we’ll make to the top.
When I make love to you, you’ll shout don’t stop.
You’ll be so happy it will tickle your toes
Cuz you knew you was right when you gave me dat rose!”

As P Daddy Sugar left Lana to walk into the mansion Lana wasn’t sure whether she should laugh…

….or cry.

**********

Bachelor Number 4 was Doctor and Nobel Prize winner for physics, Winston Lamont PhD. Lamont was an expert on ‘String Theory’ and spent most of his time lecturing and trying to prove the existence of alternate universes. His home was in Princeton, New Jersey and he seldom ventured outside of the area. At Lamont’s home in his closet were seven pairs of gray pants, seven black turtleneck shirts, seven gray Harris Tweed sport coats and seven pairs of black loafers. Lamont said that by having seven identical outfits he never had to waist mental energy in deciding what to wear each day of the week. Lana was surprised when she saw him exit the limousine dressed in a tweed jacket and black turtleneck shirt that was totally inappropriate for the climate of Hawaii. He was boyish in appearance and Lana thought of him as ‘cute’ rather than handsome. She noticed but did not call attention to his profuse sweating which Lana attributed to his out of season clothing. Over the next several weeks Lamont would discover that turtlenecks and tweed jackets were not very comfortable in the Hawaiian weather and Lana would discover that Lamont continuously sweated no matter what he wore or where he was. Over the next several weeks there would be numerous comments from late night talk show hosts that if Lana did choose Lamont and marry him her married name would be Lana Lang Lamont.

**********

Bachelor Number 5 was Thomas T. Thomas the 3rd, a well known criminal defense attorney who was frequently in the news. Thomas was well known for defending wealthy executives accused of white collar crimes and usually winning his case because he found a legal technicality that no one had ever thought of. Thomas exited the limousine wearing a handmade, gray double breasted suit that shouted out success. He approached Lana with a steady, deliberate walk as if he were approaching a jury in a courtroom. When he took her hand Lana noticed that Thomas’ fingernails were manicured with more care than hers. He told Lana that he would plead his case for her and that in the end the verdict of his happiness was in her hands.

**********

Lois Lane found that watching The Bachelorette was not going to be easy as Oliver had other ideas on his mind. Lois continually had to push Oliver’s hands away as he snuggled up to her and tried to explore various parts of her body while she was watching the show. First, his head went to her neck and he ran his lips over her skin. When she moved her head away his hands went underneath her skirt to the inside of her thighs. When she pushed his hands away he moved on top of her and tried to bury his head in her chest. Lois pushed him off and when a commercial finally interrupted the program Lois rose up from the sofa and confronted her boyfriend.

”Oliver, what’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing’s that matter with me. What’s the matter with you?

“What’s the matter with me? I’m tired of being mauled while I’m watching TV.”

“I’m not mauling you. I’m trying to stimulate your erogenous zones so we can have sex.”

“All you ever think about is sex.”

“Well….yeah. It’s statistically proven that all guys under the age of fifty think of sex every thirty seconds. What do you think those guys with Lana Lang are thinking of now? Believe me. It’s not the weather.”

“They are not thinking of sex! They’re thinking how lucky they are to meet such a wonderful woman.”

“And they’re thinking of what they have to do to get into her pants!”

“Well quit thinking of stimulating my zones and getting into my pants. It’s always sex with you. What ever happened to romance?”

“I thought having sex was romantic.”

“Well it’s not. You might try telling me that you love me once in a while.”

“I tell you that I love you.”

“Then let me rephrase that. You might try telling me that you love me when you’re not on top of me. Watch TV with me tonight. Afterwards we can talk.”

Lois sat back down on sofa. Oliver sat off in the far corner thinking, ”Romance? Stop thinking of sex? She wants me to talk? I think this show is polluting Lois’ mind.” The buzzer sounded off indicating that someone was at the front door of the apartment building. Lois answered the intercom.

”Hello?”

“It’s Perry and Jimmy.”

“Come on up.”

Despite what Lois had said to him Oliver thought that the opportunity for sexual intercourse still existed. It was only a matter of time combined with the proper stimulation to Lois’ neck that would bring about the result he desired. Those hopes were dashed when he heard Perry White’s voice. ”Perry and Jimmy? I guess I’m not getting any tonight.”

Perry White and Jimmy Olsen entered the apartment. Oliver got to his feet and politely shook hands with both men although they were the last people he wanted to see. Jimmy had brought a case of beer and a large pizza. Perry spoke to Lois.

”I’m sorry we’re late. What have we missed so far?”

“Well, Lana’s been introduced to an actor, a professional athlete, a rap star, a Noble prize winning scientist and a criminal defense attorney.”

Then Lois, thinking over what Oliver had just said to her, changed the subject.

” Hey Perry, let me ask you a question. Oliver says that all men under the age of fifty have thoughts of sex every thirty seconds. That can’t be true. That would mean that men are thinking of sex literally all of the time. What do you think?”

Both Jimmy and Perry thought about Lois’s question for a few moments. Perry looked embarrassed to answer so Jimmy stepped up.

”I think that’s about right. Give or take a few seconds.”

For a moment Lois was silent in order to process what she was hearing.

”So Jimmy, you’re in your twenties and you’re telling me that while you’re at work, running from desk to desk and carrying out Perry’s orders, you’re continually thinking of sex?”

Now it was Jimmy who was too embarrassed to answer. His red face was an affirmative answer to the question. Like a good reporter with a follow-up question Lois wanted to know more.

”Well what do men over the age of fifty think of?”

This time it was Perry who answered.

”Probably food.”

Oliver pitched in.

”To me it’s the same thing. You know. Feed the hunger.”

Both Perry and Jimmy nodded in agreement. Lois continued.

”You men are disgusting.”

“Hey. It keeps the species going. Now let’s get down to business. Have we heard from Clark?”[/i]

Lois shook her head. Perry uttered underneath his breath.

”Where the hell could he be?”

**********

Clark had left Iceland empty handed. He would have gone back to his apartment in Metropolis to retrieve some extra clothes but he had left his apartment key in Honolulu. Normally when he patrolled Metropolis he would leave a window open in his apartment. But he always locked up when he traveled out of the city. ”How would it look if the Man of Steel was burglarized?” He never thought he would need to get more clothes. As he thought over his predicament he came to the conclusion that his attire wasn’t all that important. This was going to be a long process. He wasn’t going to be on the air. He would be in the background. ”It’s not like I’m one of the Bachelors.” Clark decided that for one night he could probably get away with wearing the stained, sloppy clothes he had traveled in. He arrived back at his hotel room in Honolulu. Within a few seconds he was back into his soiled clothes. He looked at himself in the mirror. ”Clark, you look like crap. It’s probably a good thing you don’t perspire. I’m sure if you did Lois would have something to say about body odor.”

As he was about to leave the hotel Clark noticed that in the time he had been away the wet bar had been restocked. ”Wow! The hotel staff is really on the ball. I have to make a mental note to leave them a large tip.” He examined the contents of the bar.

”Ooh! A SNICKERS bar!”

He removed the candy bar and placed it in the side pocket of his wrinkled suit jacket. Then he super speeded to the Bachelor mansion.

**********

Bachelor Number 6 was Italian racecar driver Umberto Nicolini. Nicolini refused to take a limousine. Instead he drove up to the mansion in his Formula 1 Lamborghini. He left the racecar with a vintage bottle of chilled Dom Perignon in one hand and two crystal champagne glasses in the other hand. He kissed Lana’s hand and kissed her again on both her cheeks. Then he popped the bottle open, filled the glasses and toasted Lana.

Bachelor Number 7 was a Wall Street financier named Mansfield McCall. Only his mother called him Mansfield. Everyone else knew him by his nickname – Cash.

Bachelor Number 8 was a spinal surgeon from California named Doctor John Sheppard. He asked Lana to call him Jack.

Bachelor Number 9 was the owner of a laser tag amusement complex named Jett Mason.

Bachelor Number 10 was Vincent Terranova, a former DEA Agent who had written a bestselling book about his experiences as an undercover law enforcement officer.

**********

Clark had super speeded to the Bachelor Mansion and found that the entire perimeter was surrounded by a stone wall that was guarded by dozens of security personnel. He was surprised at the amount of commotion. ”Who are these people singing hoot, hoot, hoot?” As he tried to get through the front gate he was stopped by one of the guards and asked to show his credentials. Like his clothes, Clark’s press pass was inside his luggage that was now on a plane that was traveling from Reykjavik to Chicago and then on to Honolulu. With his press pass was a very important letter from the television network that allowed Clark to enter the premises and conduct interviews with anyone he wanted to talk to.

”Look . I don’t have my press pass but I’m sure my name is on the list you’re carrying.”

“What’s your name?”

“Clark Kent.”

The guard looked down a list of names that were on a clipboard he was carrying.

”Yep. It’s right here.”

“Then you’ll let me in?”

“Nope.”

“Why not? I can show you my passport to prove I’m Clark Kent.”

“Listen buddy, you can be President of the United States but if you don’t have that letter I can’t let you in. Sorry, buddy. No tickie, no shirtie!”

Clark backed up from the security stop. The guard’s comment of ‘no tickie, no shirtie’ made Clark think of his own soiled clothes.

**********

Bachelor Number 11 was Michael Scott, an office manager for a paper goods company located in Scranton, Pennsylvania. He spent the entire five minutes with Lana talking about himself and his managerial expertise.

Bachelor Number 12 was Bruce Wayne, a multibillionaire, philanthropist from Gotham City.

**********

Clark moved away from the mansion and out of sight of the security guards, the press and the camera crews. It was his intention to quietly lift into the sky and set down in an isolated area where no one would see him. He looked at his wristwatch; it was already after the hour. The program had begun and Clark still hadn’t secured a single interview or had even seen what this ‘wonderful bachelorette’, as he sarcastically thought, looked like. He activated his X-ray vision and looked through the walls outside of the complex.

There was a caravan of limousines lining up in the semi-circular driveway. Clark could see the large skeletal outline of the men exiting the vehicles and in the distance, the small skeletal frame of the woman they were meeting. ”Hmmm, she’s not exactly tall. Is she? Lois didn’t tell me that this ideal woman was a munchkin.” The couple would sit together for about five minutes. Then the man would move on into the mansion and another bachelor would take his place. The men seemed to be gathering at a bar inside the house.

With so many people on the premises Clark did not want to take a chance on being seen as he floated over the wall. He decided that a diversion was needed. He noticed that a light breeze was blowing offshore. Clark readied himself to lift off and then he took a deep breath.

**********

”It’s so nice to meet you, Mister Wayne. I’ve read so much about you.”

“Please call me, Bruce. Believe me, Lana. The pleasure is all mine.”

Bruce Wayne was about to take hold of Lana’s hand and kiss her on the cheek when a strong wind swept across the grounds. It blew so hard that both of them had to turn their heads away from the force of the wind. Any debris or litter on the ground was lifted up and swept across the view of the camera. Lana’s carefully coiffed tresses were blown out of its meticulously arranged style and streamed across her face. In the background she could hear Dimitrio’s screaming voice.

”Oh my God! Oh my God! Her hair! Her hair! All my work! How can God do this to me? Life is so cruel!”

Back in the control booth in Los Angeles, the Director issued commands switching from one camera to another to try and get a clear angle but all of the cameras had their view distorted by the wind.

”Cut to a commercial!”

The wind died down to the same soft breeze that was present just before Lana met Bruce Wayne. Although Bruce Wayne and Lana had hardly spoken, the host of the program told Wayne that he had to move on. The incident with the wind had cut down on their time and they had to get to the next bachelor. During the commercial break Dimitrio had run out of the house with his contingent of stylists and started working on Lana the same way a NASCAR pit crew works on a racecar. Lana’s hair was brushed and sprayed back into place. Her makeup was touched up and her gown was cleaned off so that none of the windblown debris would remain. All of this was done with Dimitrio barking orders at her subordinates like an Army drill sergeant tormenting frightened teenage recruits.

”Her hair! Her hair! Brush back her hair! Oh dear! Dear! Her cheek! Makeup! I said makeup not mascara! Her eyes are perfect you idiot! Get with the program! Oh sorry, Lana. I didn’t mean you get with the program. I meant my useless associate get with the program. Her gown! Get that twig off her shoulder!”

Back in the control booth, the Director received word that all had returned to normal. The winds had returned to a calm steady state. The broadcast was ready to resume.

**********

Clark was now inside the complex and walking among the technical crew as if he was one of them. No one bothered to question him. Despite his appearance everyone assumed that if he didn’t belong there security would have prevented him from entering in the first place. He walked from camera to camera taking note of all of the technological aspects of broadcasting the program. Clark was not entirely unfamiliar with television broadcasting. He was an occasional guest on the McLaughlin Group and other Sunday morning news programs to discuss current events. So he knew a little about the effort it took to broadcast a television program. But those programs were limited in scope compared to what he was now experiencing. The Bachelorette had an extensive crew and production apparatus. He smiled and nodded his head to the various technical people and took pains to stay out of the view of the security detail. After going over the grounds and getting a closer look at the limousines and the bachelors exiting the vehicles he grew bored and decided to go into the mansion. He walked into the mansion and observed the caterers and bartenders taking care of the cast and crew. The bachelors that Lana had met had gathered at the bar and a friendly banter was ensuing. Clark was about to walk up to them when he heard.

”Well hello, Sunshine!”

Clark turned to the sound of the voice and saw a tall, thin African American man wearing tight black leather pants and a white silk shirt opened down to his waist. Surrounding his waist was a leather belt with a buckle that was a huge D. He approached Clark and extended his hand.

”I am Dimitrio.”

“But of course you are.”

“Oh you know me?”

Clark couldn’t help but see the large belt buckle.

“The big D sort of gave it away.”

Clark gave the man a smile and thought to himself, ”What the hell is a Dimitrio?” The man replied.

”Are you sure that’s the only BIG D you were looking at?”

“Huh?”

“And you are?”

“Oh. Kent. Clark Kent.”

“Ahhhh. Clark Kent.”

Dimitrio looked Clark up and down and frowned at Clark’s haggard appearance.

”Can’t say I care much for your style, Clark. Who’s your tailor? Vlad the Impaler?”

Dimitrio snorted a small chuckle and Clark started to feel uncomfortable.

”And what is with the spectacles. Haven’t you ever heard of contact lenses?”

“I can’t wear contact lenses? It’s…complicated.”

“Well, what about laser surgery?”

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

Clark was now looking for the first excuse to leave but Dimitrio continued in his questioning.

”And what do you do, Clark. Or is that complicated too?”

Clark didn’t want to continue the conversation but at this point he had no choice.

“I’m a journalist.”

“Ahhhh. Well you’ve come to the right person. Hmmm? I wonder which is better. Coming to the right person or coming with the right person? Hmmm? Don’t you like my funny?”

Clark didn’t know how to answer the question and he was using all his willpower to keep from squirming. Dimitrio gave Clark a large smile.

”Have you met the young lady?”

“Young lady?”

“The Bachelorette.”

“No. I haven’t had the chance yet.”

“Well, let me tell you. I made her what she is today.”

Clark was trying very hard to keep a straight face. ”I wonder if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” Clark started to look around to find a reason to move away from Dimitrio. He looked out the window and saw a petite blonde woman wearing a headset who was standing next to one of the cameramen.

”Well, it’ nice talking to you. I have to go back outside I have to speak to what’s her name over there.”

Dimitrio looked out the window at the person Clark was referring to.

”Chloe?”

“Yes. That’s it. I have to speak to Chloe what’s her name.”

“Chloe Sullivan. Nice girl but she should let me do something with that mop on her head. But she probably can’t afford me.”

Clark was about to turn around and leave when Dimitrio took hold of Clark’s hand. He placed a small, lavender colored, perfume scented business card in Clark’s palm. Once again Dimitrio looked Clark up and down and made a slight shudder at Clark’s appearance.

”When you’re ready give me a call, Clark. I can help.”

**********

Bachelors 13 through 23 seemed to meld into one another in Lana’s eyes. Their faces became a blur to Lana. ”Let’s see was that last one named Gregory James or James Gregory?” She was now used to the routine.

Stand up and wait for the bachelor.
Meet the bachelor.
Let him kiss you on the cheek or on the hand.
Sit with the bachelor for five minutes and make small talk.
Play an internal mind game so that you can associate the name with the face.
Stand up and say goodnight.
Give each bachelor a hug even if you don’t like him. ”Treat everyone fairly.”
Watch the bachelor as he enters the mansion.
Turn your attention to the next bachelor.

They were all successful. Most had their own businesses. Each was well dressed, well spoken and well mannered. But Lana had her own internal test. ”Do they click?” Yes. They were handsome. Yes. They were attractive. Yes. They were good catches. But….”Do they click?” Lana couldn’t explain her feelings. She didn’t understand her feelings. She just knew somehow she would know when she would find the right guy. She called that somehow the ‘click’.

Lana looked towards the next limousine with Bachelor Number 24. Jason Teague exited the vehicle. Jason clothes were impeccable as always. He walked confidently towards Lana. She extended her hands. He took her hands in his own and moved forward to kiss Lana.

On the mouth.

Lana moved her to the side so that Jason’s lips met her cheek.

”Jason, it’s so nice to see you again.”

Teague gave a small smile but the disappointment was evident on his face. Lana led him to sit down and the small talk began. Jason seemed to want to accelerate the process. He apologized for his past behavior and then began to express his feelings for Lana. Lana listened patiently but did not respond. In fact, she was grateful that the five minutes were over and Jason had to move to the inside of the mansion. The smile left Lana’s face and was replaced by a quizzical expression.

It was now time for the final bachelor.

The limousine pulled up to the house and the door opened.

Bachelor Number 25 – Alexander Luthor.

**********

”Did you see that? Did you see that?”

Lois Lane, Oliver Queen, Perry White and Jimmy Olsen were seated in front of her television when Lois jumped up and shouted like she had just won the Power Ball Lottery. Oliver, who was just about falling asleep, was startled.

”See what? What?”

“Did you see what Lana did?

“What’d she do?”

“The face she made!”

“What face?”

“Her face! When Jason left! She didn’t feel it!”

“Feel what?”

“The click. She didn’t feel her click!”

“Are you sure it was her click she was thinking about?”

“Of course I’m sure. She didn’t feel her click!”

Perry and Jimmy quietly watched as Lois and Oliver argued back and forth.

”Lois, I’m sure it’s more than a click she’s feeling.”

“Now why on earth would she feel more than her click on national television?”

“Maybe she’s horny.”

“She’s not horny, Oliver!”

“Well how do you know she’s not horny? Did Lana Lang tell the great Lois Lane that she’s not horny? Can you just tell by looking at her whether or not she’s horny?”

Oliver turned his attention to and pointed at Jimmy Olsen.

”Lois, are you so good at reading people that you can look at Jimmy Olsen and know that he’s horny? That he’s thinking about getting sex morning, noon and night? That’s he’s ready to go on the drop of a dime, 24/7?”

Jimmy remained silent as his face turned beet red. Lois turned to Oliver.

“There you go again, Oliver! It’s always about sex.”

“Well my thirty seconds has run out.”

“You’re always thinking about sex!”

“Well a man in the desert tends to think a lot about water.”

Lois’ eyes opened wide and she started to lose control.

”Oh! How could you? Are you saying I’m a desert?”

“Well we haven’t had sex in long time.”

“We had sex yesterday!”

“That’s over twenty four hours ago. Don’t forget. I’m thinking about it every thirty seconds.”

“Well, it’s going to be a lot longer than twenty four hours before you get to dip your stick again!”

At this point Perry White stood up and intervened.

”Children, stop fighting now. We have one last bachelor to look at. And Lois, later I want to talk to you about this click thing.”

**********

Clark was now standing next to Chloe Sullivan. He had moved towards her and she had given him a brief looking over. She then started to sniff in the air to determine if Clark carried an odor with him. Satisfied that he only looked like a bum but didn’t smell like a bum, she didn’t make a fuss.

Chloe was speaking into a microphone in a headset she was wearing. Clark assumed that she was speaking to the Director of the program who was probably stationed at a remote location.

”Okay. Teague has gone into the house. We’re ready for the final bachelor, Lex Luthor. His limousine has pulled up the driveway. The attendant is opening the door.”

Clark watched as the limousine came to a stop. The driver opened the rear door and then stood at attention waiting for Lex Luthor to exit.

Nothing happened.

The driver bent over and looked inside the vehicle. Clark could hear him say, “Oh my God!”, and then he turned and looked at Chloe. Chloe could tell by the look on the attendant’s face that something bad had happened. She spoke into her headset.

”Something’s wrong. Go to a commercial.”

“We just had a commercial for the season premier of LOST.”

“Well go to another one. We’ve got a problem.”

Chloe ran to the limousine and looked inside. Clark heard another, “Oh my God!” As Chloe walked back to her previous position Clark’s curiosity got the best of him and he listened in on Chloe’s conversation with the Director.

”Steve, we’ve got a problem. It’s Luthor.”

“What’s the problem?”

“He’s passed out.”

“Wake him up.”

“He’s drunk.”

“Sober him up.”

“He’s naked.”

“What? He’s naked? Why is he naked?”

“How do I know why he’s naked? He’s passed out so I can’t ask him. But he’s not alone.”

“He’s not alone?”

“He’s with two famous actresses.”

“Two?”

“They’re naked too.”

Clark was about to burst out laughing as he heard the Director on the other end of the line.

”Jesus. Mary and Joseph! Our last bachelor is drunk, passed out and naked with two other women. Now what do we do?”

What Clark didn’t know was that the Director was looking at views from all of the monitors in the control room. One of the technicians spoke.

”So you want us to run another commercial? There must be someone in the world who doesn’t know that LOST begins in February.”

The Director focused on a particular monitor. Then he spoke into his headset to Chloe.

”Chloe, who is that guy standing over there?”

“What guy?”

“That guy by camera number one.”

“I don’t know. He’s just hanging around the set.”

“Well, he’s the final bachelor. Get him out there!”

“Steve, you must be joking. He looks like he was mugged and then thrown into a garbage bin.”

“I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. He’ll be Bachelor Number 25. Lang is certain to exclude him when she picks the twenty bachelors to go forward and everything will be forgotten. Just get him out there. We’re cutting back to live in fifteen seconds.”

Chloe ran over to Clark.

”You! You! What’s your name?”

Clark didn’t think she was addressing him. He looked behind him to see if someone else would respond. Then he felt his arm being grabbed.

”You! What’s your name?”

“Me? I’m Clark Kent. I’m from the ….”

“Well, you’re Bachelor Number 25 now, Clark. Get out there!”

“No. No. No. Now wait a minute. I’m not a bachelor.”

“You’re married?”

“Well…no. I’m…..”

“Then you’re a bachelor! Get out there!”

Chloe started pushing. She pushed with all of her strength only to find that Clark was immovable.

”What are you? The bloody Rock of Gibraltar?”

Clark heard someone say that they were back to being live. He slowly moved towards the view of the camera and to the area where the Bachelorette was waiting. Chloe kept saying “Go! Go!” Clark was reluctant to move but then Dimitrio moved to Chloe’s side, smiled and waved at him. Then Clark heard the words he didn’t want to hear.

” Hello Sunshine!”

“Oh God.”

He turned towards the Bachelorette and started to walk forward.

**********

”How many times are they going to tell us that LOST begins in February?”

Lois was sitting with Jimmy on the sofa watching the television. Oliver had decided that since he wasn’t going to have sex tonight he would have to drink adult beverages to excess instead. Perry had gone to the bathroom. The commercial ended.

”And now Bachelor Number 25.”

The camera was now longer focused on the arriving limousine but on a stone path leading to the area overlooking the ocean. As the last bachelor came into view Lois let out a gasp. She heard Jimmy exclaim “Oh my God!”

Lois rose from the sofa and got closer to the television. She shouted out.

”Perry, I just found out where Clark is!”

End of Chapter Four

**********

[LetMeGo]

The click! How funny, but it's true. You can't explain it; it's either there or it isn't.

Clark isn't having a very good day, I hope he manages to make a good impression on Lana.

[The Black Cat]

Awesome Chapter!!! PPMS!!!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Five

”Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut. Sometimes You Don’t.”

Clark reluctantly walked towards the young woman. ”How did I get into this mess? I should be patrolling the skies above Metropolis apprehending bad guys. What am I doing here? I’m in a place I don’t want to be. Doing a job I don’t want to do and about to meet a woman I don’t want to meet. The worst day of my life was when my dad died. This day ranks as a close second.” He kept his head down and his hands in his pockets and was almost afraid to look up. Clark went up to the area where the Bachelorette was waiting to face the young woman.

He lifted up his eyes.

A pair of large, exotic, hazel eyes looked up into his face.

A pair of full, sensuous lips curved into a welcoming smile.

An elegant, delicate hand was extended towards him.

Clark felt his mouth go dry. Suddenly he became very conscious of his appearance. ”Damn! I look like a pig!” He hastily removed his hands from his pockets, straightened his posture and tried to groom his unkempt hair with his fingers. Clark extended his hand and she placed hers in his. His hand closed around hers. Her grip was firm but also warm and feminine.

”Hi. I’m Lana.”

Clark wanted to respond but it was as if his vocal cords wouldn’t obey his mental commands. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

The large eyes were beckoning him for an answer.

”I need to say something. She wants to know my name. Hi. I‘m Kal-El. I mean Clark. Clark? That’s right. My name is Clark.” Clark felt something peculiar on the surface of his forehead. His free hand moved to his forehead and his fingers touched his skin. For the first time in his life he felt….sweat.

His fingers felt beads of sweat on his forehead. Clark was dumbfounded. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. Only kryptonite made him sweat. Sweat and hurt. But at this moment he was not feeling any pain. He ooked down at his feet to make sure he was standing on the ground.

He felt her hand move out of his and his first thought was that she had had enough of him. He felt something strange. Or rather he thought something strange. Actually he wasn’t sure if he was feeling or thinking.

All Clark knew was that he wanted her hand back in his. Her hand had only been in his a few seconds, and now, all that he knew was that it was gone and he missed it. Then the thought as to the reason as to why she withdrew her hand hit Clark like a sledgehammer. ”Oh God! My time is up! I’ve struck out and I haven’t even gotten up to the plate!”

But instead of pulling her hand away she moved it to his chest.

Over his heavily beating heart.

”Are you alright? You’re heart is racing.”

Clark took a deep breath and with a supreme effort he managed to sputter out a few words.

”No….I mean….yes. Yes. Yes, I’m fine. I think I’m fine. Actually, I don’t know how I am…. How are you?”

He heard her let out just a slight hint of a laugh at his clipped response.

“Well, do you have a name?”

“A name?”

“Yeah. A name. Or do people just call you ‘tall, handsome, shy guy’?”

“A name? Yes. Of course, I have a name. It’s…Clark. Yeah. That’s right. I’m Clark.”

Her smile grew even wider like that of a scientist who had found a cure for a major disease. Clark couldn’t help but smile in return.

“Well….Clark. Why don’t you sit with me for a while?”

**********

Lana saw the driver open the door to the limousine. The driver waited but no one came out. He looked inside and when he withdrew from the vehicle a panic ensued. Bright camera lights were shining in Lana’s eyes and she couldn’t make out the details of what was happening. And although she wanted to obtain more information she was prevented from doing so when some of Dimitrio’s stylists came out of the house and surrounded her and began touching up her hair and her makeup. ”They must be running a commercial.”

Lana had been standing and sitting, sitting and standing for what seemed to be an eternity. Saying that it had been a long day would be an understatement. It had started with the sunrise in Metropolis and was now ending with the sun setting on the shores of Hawaii. And although she had traveled first class all the way and had been pampered from beginning to end, Lana was tired and hungry. She was grateful that this was the last bachelor she would meet. After this she would choose twenty out of the twenty five. Five bachelors would go home. Twenty bachelors would come back for the next episode.

She overheard someone say that they were going back on the air in a less than a minute. Dimitrio’s people moved away from Lana and everything was returning to normal. Lana stood up straight and even though she was tired she placed a smile on her face. ”I can do this. I can get through one last man.”

”We’re on the air.”

Lana heard the call of one the assistants and she resumed her place. Camera number one had the green light on and Lana knew to look in the camera’s direction. There was some kind of commotion by the camera. Chloe had been standing there all through the show and now it seemed she was prodding someone to move forward. Lana assumed that whoever was in the limousine had somehow exited the vehicle without her seeing it. Lana couldn’t make out the details of his face. He moved towards her….reluctantly…as if he didn’t want to be here. ”Well that’s two of us.”

As he got closer Lana started to take in the details of his appearance. His suit was terribly rumpled and his trousers were soiled. His full head of dark hair was tousled. ”I guess Dimitrio hasn’t gotten a hold of him.”

He was tall. Taller than the others. Even taller than Bruce Wayne. He was big. Not fat big but just big. Athletic big although his clothing seemed to be tailored to deliberately conceal it. ”Now why would he do that?” His head was bowed and he pushed his eyeglasses up to his nose.

He was now in front of her and Lana extended her hand as he picked up his head and through his eyeglasses Lana saw something that she had not seen in the previous bachelors.

Or in any man she had ever met.

She saw strength.

And more.

She saw compassion.

And more.

She saw wisdom.

And more.

She saw humility and she saw kindness.

His piercing blue-green eyes showed a warmth that made Lana forget her fatigue. She placed her hand in his and sensed that he was terribly nervous.

”Hi. I’m Lana.”

He closed his hand around hers and Lana sensed that someone’s heartbeat was increasing and she wasn’t sure whose heart it was. She didn’t know why but she instinctively placed her hand over his chest. Even though his chest was massively muscular she could feel his heart was beating rapidly beneath.

”Are you alright? You’re heart is racing.”

He was barely able to answer. At first Lana thought he had a speech impediment but then realized that his hesitancy was due to another cause. ”He’s scared to death. Scared to death of meeting me. That’s so wonderful.”

”No….I mean….yes. Yes. Yes, I’m fine. I think I’m fine. Actually, I don’t know how I am. How are you?”

Lana almost laughed out loud but bit her tongue. ”He’s making me laugh.”

“Well, do you have a name?”

“A name?”

“Yeah. A name.”

It took all of Lana’s self control to keep herself from brushing her fingers through his hair.

”Or do people just call you ‘tall, handsome, shy guy’?”

Lana had surprised herself. ”Now why would I say that to him?”

“A name? Yes. Of course, I have a name. It’s…Clark. Yeah. That’s right. I’m Clark.”

Lana’s smile grew wider. ”Clark. That should be easy to remember. Just like the candy bar.” She moved towards the bench where they could sit and talk.

“Well….Clark. Why don’t you sit with me for a while?”

They sat next to each other but at a discreet distance. Lana looked over Clark’s disheveled appearance. He saw her eyes go to his clothes and he dropped his head in embarrassment.

”Clark, it looks like you’ve had a rough day. You want to tell me about it?”

**********

”Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!”

Lois, Oliver, Perry and Jimmy were all seated together on the sofa. They were totally mesmerized by what they were seeing on the television screen. Then Perry let out his exclamation.

”Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Great shades of Elvis! Viva Las Vegas, baby! Clark is brilliant! If Clark pulls this off I’m going to have to give him a bonus.”

Everyone turned their heads towards Perry White.

”Clark is a true professional. Even though he never wanted this assignment he’s giving it more than 100%. He’s not just reporting. He’s going undercover.”

“You mean he wants to get the Bachelorette underneath the covers.”

As he finished his remark Oliver felt a sharp, sudden pain in the side of his ribs as Lois elbowed him with the type of focused force that indicated extensive training in the martial arts.

”Is that all you think of? Getting under the covers! Clark isn’t that kind of guy. Clark has class. Unlike some men I know.”

“Every guy is that kind of guy. All it takes is the right girl.”

Oliver stopped to think for a moment and then he continued.

”Or the wrong girl combined with mass quantities of alcohol. The point is that Clark is the same as every other man who has walked the face of the earth. Do you think that the thirty second rule doesn’t apply to Clark?”

“Clark does not think of sex every thirty seconds. Clark is a caring, sensitive, educated, hard working….”

“Horny.”

“He is not horny! He does not think of sex every thirty seconds.”

“Lois, the Clark Kent you’re describing doesn’t sound human to me.”

**********

Clark and Lana sat on a bench overlooking the ocean.

”Clark, it looks like you had a rough day. You want to tell me about it?”

Clark looked over his soiled, wrinkled clothes and then he looked at the woman across from him. Her eyes were captivating. Her hair possessed such a silky appearance that he had to fight off the impulse to run his hands over it to feel its soft, satiny texture. To describe her complexion as ‘peaches and cream’ would be a complement to peaches and cream. She seemed incredibly petite. Not small but delicate. Not delicate as in being easily broken but delicate as in possessing incredible beauty. Delicate as in a finely crafted work of art. Clark had seen all of the great wonders of the world either as a journalist or as Superman and he was experiencing the same feelings as when he first saw The Pieta in person or his first view from the top of Mount Everest.

”I thought I was having one of the worst days of my life. But right now, sitting next to you, I don’t know why I would ever think such a thing.”

All of the other bachelors came prepared to make a good first impression. Lana wondered if it even matter to them as to who was the Bachelorette. ”They would have tried to make a good impression no matter who was standing here.” But Clark seemed different. His haphazard appearance caused Lana to relax. And as she relaxed she became aware that she was hungry. Her stomach grumbled and a small grimace briefly came to her face.

”Lana, are you alright?”

Lana made an effort to place a cheery expression on her face.

”It’s been a long day for me too. I’m just a little hungry.”

Clark nodded his understanding and was silent for a moment. Then a thought came to him and his hand went into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out the SNICKERS bar that he had taken from his hotel.

Lana couldn’t keep her eyes from lighting up at the sight of the candy bar.

”Would you like this SNICKERS bar?”

Lana enthusiastically nodded her head and Clark handed her the bar. She ripped off the wrapper and was about to bite into it. Then she stopped and broke the candy bar into two pieces and handed one piece to Clark.

”Why don’t you share this with me?”

They both bit into their half of the SNICKERS bar at the same time. The camera captured the smile on both of their faces as the program cut to a commercial.

**********

The Director was about to erupt like a volcano.

”A SNICKERS bar! He can’t give her a SNICKERS bar!”

Both technicians were dumfounded by the Director’s outburst.

”I like SNICKERS bars. What’s wrong with a SNICKERS bar?”

“They’re not one of our sponsors! This Clark guy just gave a candy company a million dollars worth of free advertising! Tomorrow every teenage boy in the country will be giving his best girl a SNICKERS bar and we won’t make a penny from it!”

Bud and Lou began their own conversation.

“I think he should have given her a V8.”

‘You would have given her juice?”

“I like V8.”

“Will you two shut up!”

Bud looked at Lou and without the director seeing, whirled his finger in a circular motion around the side of his head.

”Who is our primary sponsor?”

“Trojans.”

“The USC Trojans”

“No. The D-I-C-K Trojans.”

“Somehow, boss, I don’t think it giving her a condom would have had the same effect.”

Then the other technician chimed in.

”I still think he should have given her a V8.”

**********

Lana and Clark munched on their SNICKERS bar together. Although Lana wanted to chomp on the candy bar she nibbled instead so she could make the moment last as long as possible. The camera drew close to their faces. They said little but could not keep their eyes from gazing at each other. The five minutes came to a close and both seemed surprised that the time went by so quickly. For Lana, the five minutes with some of the bachelors seemed like hours. With this man it seemed like the blink of an eye. She felt something strange inside her shoes.

Her feet were hurting. She thought that had something to do with her high heels but when she removed her shoes she saw that her toes were curling. When Clark left her Lana’s toes straightened out and her discomfort disappeared. ”That’s strange. That never happened before.”

Clark was led inside the mansion with the rest of the men and Lana was taken to a room that kept her separate from the men. The host, Chris Harrison, went with her to help Lana choose the twenty bachelors who would remain.

As Clark entered the main room of the mansion twenty four pairs of eyes stared at him without saying a word. Jason Teague was seething. Michael Scott was looking at Jason Teague and trying mirror Teague’s expression of anger and jealousy. P Daddy Sugar was sitting on a stool and trying to maintain his balance after ingesting six Long Island Ice Teas. A. J. MacMurphy was on his cell phone with a Playboy Playmate of the Year. Winston Lamont was looking at Clark’s rumpled attire and comparing it to his own Tweed jacket and feeling pretty good about his own appearance. Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset stepped forward.

Clark stood alone facing the two men thinking that something bad was about to happen.

Smiles appeared on both of their faces. Somerset extended his hand to Clark.

”Good show old boy!”

Wayne joined in.

”A SNICKERS bar? Who would have thought? You’ve just replaced a dozen roses with a candy bar.”

Clark took turns shaking the hands of the two men. The remainder of the group snubbed Clark and continued their drinking and their conversations.

”I’m Bruce Wayne.”

“From Gotham City?”

Wayne nodded his head. Clark introduced himself.

”I’ve been meaning to get out to Gotham City. I hear there’s someone there who’s playing havoc with the underworld. I have some colleagues there who are calling him the Caped Crusader. ”

Wayne nodded his head in understanding.

”Yeah, I hear that too.”

Clark thought it strange that Wayne did not continue to comment on the subject but he let it go. When Clark mentioned that he was from Metropolis, Somerset became animated.

”Metropolis? The place with that Super chap?”

Clark nodded his head.

”Oh splendid! You wouldn’t happen to know him now would you?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I’ve been offered the lead role in the new Warrior Angel film and I need to do some research on the mindset of a superhero.”

“You want to research Superman.”

“I’d like to spend a couple of hours with him. Buy him dinner. Get into his head. That sort of thing.”

“I’m sure he’s not that interesting.”

“Not interesting? You must be joking. I’m sure the psychiatrists of the world would kill to get Superman on their couches!”

Clark was taken aback to hear that his alter ego would be so sought after.

”Why would you say that?”

“Oh my dear boy! Strange visitor from another planet with powers and abilities far beyond of those of mortal men. Has dedicated himself to fighting for truth and justice when all he has to do is snap his fingers and he could have the world at his feet. Certainly he must struggle with the temptation. Finds trouble and fixes it and then goes away and doesn’t even ask for a thank you. Is he always Superman or does he have another private life? And if he has a private life, does he share it with anyone? And if he does share it with someone does he also share the Superman side of it? He must have issues that even Freud wouldn’t be able to comprehend.”

Clark didn’t know what to say. ”I knew I had some problems but I never would have thought that I was that messed up.” Wayne placed his arm around Clark’s shoulders and turned him towards the bar.

”Whatever problems a superhero has we certainly not going to solve them here. Come on, Clark. You look like you could use a drink. What happened to your clothes?”

**********

Lana was in a separate room with the host, Chris Harrison. On a table before them were the framed photographs of twenty five men. Lana started to examine the photographs in order to align her impressions with the face and the name.

”Who’s the bald guy?”

Harrison tensed up at the question. At first he didn’t know how to answer. Then he decided that honesty was the best policy.

”I was hoping you wouldn’t notice that. That’s Lex Luthor and he was actually Bachelor Number 25.”

“Bachelor Number 25? I don’t understand. I thought Clark was Bachelor Number 25.”

“Well….Lex had some….some…issues that prevented him from showing up. Clark, I really don’t know who Clark is or how he was picked as a replacement. All I know is that the Director somehow spotted him and had him take Lex’s spot.”

Lana shook her head at being surprised by the sudden turn of events. She then began to mentally decide who would be the twenty men who would receive a rose and who would be the five men who would be leaving tonight.

**********

Clark was having a glass of beer with Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset. Wayne and Somerset were talking about a variety of subjects. Clark periodically contributed to the conversation but for the most part he was lost in his own thoughts. Again he seemed to be arguing with his conscience.

”I can’t get Lana’s face out of my head.”

“You better get it out. You have a job to do that’s more important than a human female.”

“But I’ve never met anyone like her.”

“Kal-El, don’t start. You know you can’t have a life like others.”

“I know that. But what if I could?”

“Kal-El…”

“Stop calling me that. I’m Clark Kent.”

“No. No, you’re not. You are Kal-El, son of Jor-El and Lara.”

“But my dad always told that things happen for a reason.

“No, Kal-El. You are here for a reason. You know that. And you know that reason is for you and you alone.”

“But…

Clark felt his shoulder being pushed. He turned to see Bruce trying to get his attention.

”Clark, you seem a thousand miles away. What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking about how much I need a shrink.”

“Yeah. We all do when it comes to women.”

Everyone came to attention as Lana and the host entered the room. All of the men gathered in a group. Lana stood several feet in front of them. Besides her was a table with twenty roses. Every man was smiling at Lana and hoping they would receive a rose. For a few of them this situation brought back memories of being a child and being selected for game. No one wanted to be last.

They gathered together in two lines with the taller men in the rear. Clark stood in the rear but did not smile. He was lost in his own thoughts and his struggle with his conscience.

**********

”What’s the matter with Clark? He looks like he’s in a police lineup.”

Everyone agreed with Jimmy Olsen’s assessment of Clark’s expression. Lois took the opportunity to throw a dig at Oliver.

”Clark looks miserable. That does not look like a man who is thinking of sex every thirty seconds.”

“Unless he’s thinking of sex with you.”

Oliver was unprepared for the second shot that Lois directed towards his ribs.

**********

”Jason, will you accept this rose?”

Jason Teague was the first man to be chosen by Lana. He stepped forward and she offered him the rose.

”With all my heart.”

He accepted the rose and then moved forward to kiss Lana. Once again, Lana moved her head to the side so that his lips were redirected to her cheek. As he walked to the other side of the room to begin a new group – a group of men who had been accepted by Lana, Jason glared at Clark but Clark took no notice of him.

Lana started to methodically pick bachelor after bachelor. A.J. MacMurphy confidently strutted up to her. She chose P Sugar Daddy for laughs. He staggered up to her and decided to break out into song.

”The little lady gives the man the rose.
I feel so happy I could blow my nose.
I see you next time and we’ll go for a ride.
Think it over, baby. You’ll be by my side.
Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!”

When P Sugar Daddy had finished the small crowd outside the mansion that had been watching the program on several monitors joined in the chorus.

”Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!”

Russell Knight Somerset was chosen as was Bruce Wayne. She chose Michael Scott because he looked like he would cry if he wasn’t chosen. Twenty five became twenty.

Then twenty became fifteen.

Then fifteen became ten.

Then only six were left and Clark was one of the six. One more would be chosen. Lana looked directly at Clark but his eyes did not meet hers. ”What on earth is he thinking?”

Clark was thinking as to whether or not he needed psychiatric help.

”Clark….”

Clark did not look up at Lana’s call. Instead he kept his head down as if he was struggling with something.

”Clark….”

He still didn’t answer.

Wayne and Somerset looked at each other as if they were thinking the same thing. They nodded their heads and then moved out of the accepted group and walked to Clark. They stood on either side of him.

”Come on, old boy. The young lady is waiting.”

Clark looked up.

”What?”

Bruce Wayne pushed Clark forward.

”Go on and get your rose.”

Clark slowly walked up to Lana. She looked up at him and widened her smile. Then she offered the rose.

”Clark, will you accept this rose?”

Clark was silent for a moment as he struggled with the presence of Kal-El and Clark. The entire group of bachelors was stunned because he didn’t accept the rose with a resounding affirmation.

”You really want to give this rose?”

Lana nodded her head. Again Clark was silent for a moment.

”Why?”

Now it was Lana’s turn to think and be silent for a minute.

”Because.”

“Because why”

“Just because.”

Clark didn’t know how to respond. He nodded his head and took the rose from Lana’s hand without saying a word. He was about to walk away when Lana stopped him. She made him bend down and she lifted herself up on her toes. She kissed him on his cheek and whispered in his ear so that no one could hear.

”I saved the best for last; tall, handsome, shy guy.”

She lowered herself and Clark walked away. As he walked away she noticed that her feet were hurting again.

Her toes were curling inside of her shoes.

End of Chapter Five

**********

[LetMeGo]

That was great! The director's reaction to the snickers was funny.

Clark is definitely the best! :)

[The Black Cat]

Another Great chapter!!! PPMS!!!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Six

”Mother Knows Best.”

Perry White was ecstatic and practically doing an Irish jig in the middle of Lois Lane’s living room.

”Now that’s what I call a Hunka Hunka Burning Love! That boy is the maestro! Clark Kent is the master! He is playing that girl like Jimi Hendrix played Purple Haze! – Scuze me while I kiss the sky!”

Lois didn’t understand Perry’s excitement. Perry recognized her confusion and proceeded to explain.

”Lois, I’m sure you’ve heard of the expression, he chases her until she catches him.”

Lois nodded her head but still had no idea of where Perry was going.

”Well Clark has turned the tables on the Bachelorette. Clark has somehow managed to become one of the Bachelors and then he acts like he doesn’t even want to be there. Clark is playing hard to get and it’s working. Lana Lang clearly favors Clark over all of the other Bachelors. It’s as if she’s competing for him rather than vice versa.

I will never again doubt Clark Kent’s sexual prowess.”

Perry waved his finger at Lois.

” And you thought Clark was of that other persuasion.”

Perry’s last comment caught Oliver’s attention. In his inebriated state he looked warily at Lois.

”Wait a minute. You thought Clark was what?….A Democrat?”

Perry answered.

”No! No! No! Lois thought Clark favored an alternate lifestyle. She thought he was the type who…you know.”

Perry extended his hand and made his wrist go limp. Oliver started to laugh.

”You thought Clark was gay? Oh Lois, what are you thinking?”

Lois became very defensive.

”Well I never knew that Clark was this smooth! After all, I’ve never seen him with anyone – male or female.”

Perry answered.

”Lois, Clark has chosen to show the world just a little bit of himself tonight and look at the result. He had Lana Lang eating out of his hand and I don’t mean the SNICKERS bar. Think of what Clark isn’t showing the world. What you never knew, what none of us knew was that Clark has a secret. He’s a sex god. I give the boy credit. Most men with Clark’s gift would be scattering their wild oats everywhere with anything in a skirt. Clark keeps his life quiet and then before a prime time audience he announces to the world that he is the King! It’s like Elvis’ first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show. Clark Kent has entered the building!”

“Wait a minute, Perry. What if Clark isn’t playing her? What if Clark Kent is genuinely sincere and really likes Lana Lang?”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous. You know and I know that the story always comes first with Clark. He could no more like Lana Lang than I could like Badger Shrub.”

Oliver whispered to Lois.

”Badger Shrub?”

Lois whispered back.

”He means Porcupine Tree.”

**********

Episode One of The Bachelorette had come to an end. Lana said farewell to the five men that she didn’t choose and they were led to their respective limousines and left the premises. The producers didn’t want Lana mixing with the remaining men in her free time so she was led off the set to a secluded area inside the mansion. The men were to leave the mansion until the next episode.

As Jason Teague was leaving he made sure he crossed Clark’s path.

”You had a good night tonight, buddy boy. Enjoy it while you can, Mister Four Eyes!”

Then he purposely threw his shoulder into Clark’s chest the same way a high school bully would try to intimidate a lesser student by forcefully ramming into him. But Jason’s meant-to-be-intimidating push turned into a painful collision as he fell backwards on to the floor. He clutched his shoulder and looked up at Clark. Clark, being his usual innocent and helpful self, tried to assist Teague but Teague shook him off.

”Get away from me!”

A group of other bachelors helped Teague to his feet. Teague’s chest was bruised but his ego was bruised more.

”I think this idiot broke my collarbone. I think I need to go to the hospital.”

“Well make sure they give you some penicillin.”

Everyone turned towards the voice of Bruce Wayne.

”So they can kill the bug you’ve got up your ass, Teague.”

Jason wanted to turn on Wayne but was led out the mansion by his clique of bachelors. Somerset and Wayne stood by Clark.

”Clark, Russell and I are going out to celebrate making it to another episode. Why don’t you come with us?”

Clark declined the offer to celebrate and the accompanying offer to be driven back to his hotel. He told the two men that he had a lot to think about and he would walk back to the hotel. This brought surprising looks from the two men considering the distance from the mansion to the hotel but neither man said anything further. The two men shook hands with Clark and then left. Chloe Sullivan then approached Clark.

”Clark?”

“Yes, Miss…Excuse me. I mean Ms. Sullivan.”

Chloe was standing next to Clark and for the first time she noticed the height differential between the two of them. She was going to remark, ‘how’s the weather up there?’ but decided against it.

”Call me Chloe. I want to apologize for the language I used back there and I want to thank you for stepping forward.”

“I’d say it was more of a push than a step.”

“Oh. Dry sense of humor. I like that. You’re going to do just fine. Clark, I have to be honest with you. We pushed you out there because we were in a bind with Bachelor Number 25. We thought Lana wouldn’t choose you and then the whole thing would be forgotten and we could move forward. But since she did choose you I need to get some background information on you.”

Clark became hesitant. Since his childhood he had always been suspicious of anyone trying to obtain information about him. He couldn’t keep himself from tensing up.

“What kind of information?”

“Well first of all what did you say your last name is? “

Some of Clark’s tension disappeared. His face took on an expression of relief at hearing the simple question.

“It’s Kent. I’m Clark Kent.”

“Okay and what’s your occupation?”

“I’m a…..”

Chloe’s cell phone started ringing and she put her hand up to stop Clark from answering her question. She looked at the Caller ID on her display and became very nervous.

”Yes, Mister Whitaker.”

Clark was tempted to activate his super hearing and listen in on the conversation but he remembered the incident on the airplane when he activated his X-ray vision to peer into the restroom. ”No, Clark. Control yourself. People are entitled to their privacy.” Clark stood silent while Chloe listened carefully to Blake Whitaker’s instructions.

”Yes, Mister Whitaker. Yes, he’s here. His name is Clark Kent. I’m just about to find out what he does for a living. What? You don’t care what he does for a living. But what about his background? You don’t care about his background. But don’t you think Lana Lang would like to know something about him?”

Chloe stopped speaking and listened to the voice on the other end of her phone.

”No, sir. I haven’t seen that Ken guy from The Times. Yes, sir.”

Chloe ended the call and turned to Clark.

”Mister Whitaker is the President of the Entertainment Division of ABC. He feels that we don’t need any background information on you. He says you’re a big hit and his gut instinct is telling him that the less we know about you the better.”

“But wait, Chloe. I’m from the Dai….”

“I don’t want to know, Clark. All I need to know is that you’re in.”

“But I….”

Clark stopped himself and thought about the irony of the situation. He had always gone to great pains to keep people in the dark about himself. Now when he was willing to share some information Chloe and Whitaker didn’t want it.

”Clark, Mister Whitaker likes you and that’s all I care about. Whatever you choose to tell Lana about yourself is between you and her. You don’t have any deep, dark secrets do you?”

“Deep, dark secrets?”

“Yeah. If I Google you I’m not going to find out that you’re a white supremacist or work for Fox News or something like that? Am I?”

“No. No. You won’t find anything like that.”

“Good. The next episode starts production in three days. Just make sure you’re here.”

Chloe abruptly turned and started to walk away from Clark. Then just as abruptly she stopped and turned back to him.

”And Clark, get some decent clothes.”

**********

Lana was now in a secluded living area. She sat down on a comfortable sofa, took off her shoes and began rubbing her feet.

”Are your shoes bothering you?”

Lana looked up to see that Chloe had entered the room. Lana smiled at the question.

”These are new shoes that Dimitrio gave me. Maybe it’s the shoes that are making my feet hurt. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

Chloe opened a bottle of champagne and poured two glasses. She gave one to Lana as she took a seat on the sofa.

”So what do you think, Lana?”

“About what?”

“Not about what but about whom. What do you think about the bachelors?”

“They’re an interesting bunch. Russell is very dashing. P Daddy Sugar is so comical. Bruce Wayne seems like a wonderful guy and Jason is what I expected him to be. Right now it’s raining men.”

“That sounds like a toast to me. Here’s to ‘it’s raining men!’”

Both women tapped their glasses together and drank their champagne. As Chloe drank up she looked at Lana and was very aware that there was one name Lana did not mention.

As Lana drank up she kept her eyes away from Chloe and hoped that Chloe didn’t notice that there was one name she didn’t mention.

The name of the man whose kind eyes she could not get out of her mind.

**********

Perry and Jimmy had packed up their things and were just about to leave Lois’s apartment when Perry spoke up.

”Lois, I want to get back to this ‘click’ thing that you mentioned. You said that when Lana was with Jason you didn’t see a ‘click’? What does that mean?”

“Well, a girl knows that she really likes a guy when she feels the click?”

“The click?”

“Yeah. Something just clicks. It could be anything. It could be the look in his eye or the sound of his voice. He doesn’t have to be particularly handsome or be a certain way. There’s just something about him that makes her feel right. We call it the click. I can’t define it but I know it when I see it.”

“So you women talk about this sort of stuff?”

“Oh sure. All women know about the click. Don’t men feel the click?”

Oliver, who had been drinking for most of the evening and was now thoroughly inebriated, took the initiative and answered for the men.

”No. We don’t feel the click. We feel the boing! Actually it’s not the boing but the booiiiiing!”

Lois looked at Oliver with a wary expression.

”What exactly is the boing. I mean the boooiiiing!”

“One look at the right girl and we go boooiiiing!”

For the third time that night Oliver felt a hard blow to his ribs that knocked the breath out of him.

”As usual, I’m talking about love and you’re talking about sex.”

“I only talk about it when I’m not doing it.”

“I suppose you’re going to say that when you first saw me you went boing!”

“Actually with you it was more of a BOOIIING!”

“Oliver, you are so crude.”

“Yeah, I know. But so is oil and look how much people want it. You know what you’re problem is Lois? You think too much. Women think too much. According to you, women look for that magical click. They don’t know what it is or what it looks like but they’re certain they’ll find it. And when they don’t find it that’s when they start watching Doctor Phil or Oprah. ‘Oh Oprah! I thought he had the click. Instead he had the clap. Now what am I gonna do?’”

“Are you finished?”

“Nope. I’m just getting started. Guys are more simple.”

“You mean simple minded.”

“Put it anyway you want. At least we don’t wander around looking for the mythical click. We don’t need a click. We see the girl. We get excited and then it’s time to feed the hunger. Drill here! Drill now!”

“And after you’ve gotten off then what?”

“And then what? You mean after the sex there should be something more?”

Lois saw Perry and Jimmy laughing to themselves and nodding their heads to what Oliver was saying. She then angrily hurried Perry and Jimmy out the door and pushed Oliver out with them.

”Oh! You men are disgusting! Get out of my apartment!”

Lois slammed the door and leaned against it. She could hear the tipsy Oliver pleading on the other side.

”Looiiiss! Pleeaassseee! I need to feed the hunger now! Please let me in! Just a little bit! How about an appetizer? Just a little piggy in the blanket!”

Lois shouted back through the door.

”You want to feed the hunger! Go to the self service line, jerk!”

She could hear Perry and Jimmy pull Oliver away from the door. His voice trailed off.

”Boing! Boing! Boing! Oh look. It’s turning into a pogo stick. Elvis has left the building!”

She could hear Perry coaxing Oliver to come along. He had too much to drink so they would drive him home. After a few moments there was silence on the other side of the door. Lois thought about everything she had seen and heard this evening.

”That little woman likes you, Clark. You better not hurt her. You better not just be feeding the hunger.”

**********

Clark Kent had always liked everything in his life to be ordered. He liked everything clear cut. He liked certainty. He had accepted his destiny as Superman because there was no moral ambiguity in what he had to do. As Superman he was a man of action. As Clark Kent he was a man of words. Together, he ensured that justice was served. In a world where lying was considered to be a skill worth admiring, Clark Kent, the reporter helped the people understand that there was only one truth. In a world where the strong frequently hurt the weak with impunity, Superman would protect those who needed protecting and would bring those who had wronged the weak to the justice of the people he served. Words were needed to explain action. Action was needed to back up words. One could not exist without the other.

He had grown up with the ideals of his human parents. Ideals of hard work, charity, family, faith, service to one’s country and responsibility to the community. His training with Jor-El had opened a larger world to Clark. Actually it had opened a universe. And he learned that the ideals that Jonathan and Martha had taught him were not limited to Earth and to humans. The history of intelligent life across the twenty eight known galaxies was a history of beings striving to be better. To be ruled by something more than jungle law. He learned that living was something more than just survival. Clark accepted his responsibility to protect and to guide the humans by his example. There was nobility in his cause. He would show the humans the way to reach their full potential.

It was so easy and so clear.

And now Clark was troubled.

In a single day clarity was replaced with confusion.

Resolve was replaced by doubt.

In a few short hours he became aware of his solitary existence and he felt an emptiness inside that he had never before experienced.

And he didn’t know why.

Clark super speeded back to his hotel room. He removed his clothes and got into the shower. He turned on the hot water and turned his back to the shower head. He hoped that the hot water would relax his nerves and his muscles. He hoped that inhaling the steam would clear his head and he would once again be able to think clearly. He turned the hot water to a full blast. Heat that would have scalded a human had no effect. His nerves told him that the water was hot but his nerves did not scream out in pain. His muscles were not soothed and his thinking was still as foggy as the bathroom mirror from the steam.

Clark turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He stood by the sink, wiped off the fog on the mirror and stared at his image in the mirror. ”Why is this happening to me?”

Clark needed answers. His thoughts turned to the place where he had always received the answers to questions of his childhood.

”Home!

In the blink of an eye Clark transformed into Superman. In another blink of an eye he was on his way home.

To Smallville.

**********

Lana finished the bottle of champagne with Chloe when her cell phone rang. She looked at the Caller ID and said to Chloe.

”It’s my mom and dad.”

Lewis and Laura Lang had watched the entire episode of The Bachelorette. Afterwards they had readied themselves for bed and were now in bed and about to go to sleep. Lewis was watching the late news on the television. Laura had been reading a book and then decided to call their daughter.

”Hello?”

“Hi Lana. It’s Mom and Dad.”

“Hi! How was show from where you’re sitting?”

“Very interesting. Although it seemed to have a lot of commercials towards the end of the program. What happened there?”

“There was a lot of confusion with the last bachelor.”

“Yeah. He looked confused. So what do you think, Lana?”

“Mom, I wish I could tell you what I think but I had to sign a nondisclosure agreement. That means I can’t share any of my thoughts with anyone outside of the show until after everything is finished.”

“But I’m your mother. A daughter should be able to tell her mother anything.”

“Mom, please don’t.”

“Okay. Okay. What can you tell me?”

“It’s been a long day and my feet still hurt a little.”

“Your feet hurt?”

“Yeah. It’s really strange. My feet started hurting towards the end of the show.”

Lana waited for her mother to respond but there was only silence.

”Mom?”

“Oh. Sorry, Lana. I was just thinking for a minute.”

“Thinking about what?”

“Nothing important. Listen. I have to go now. It’s time for your father and me to go to sleep. Goodnight.”

Laura ended the call without waiting for Lana to respond. She looked over at Lewis. He had turned off the television and was lying on his side with his eyes closed. She nudged him.

”Lewis, are you asleep?”

“You know, I’ve never understood that question. If I were asleep I wouldn’t be able to answer you.”

“Never mind that. Lewis, we have a problem.”

Lewis delivered his response through a yawn.

”What’s the problem, Laura?”

“Our daughter’s feet hurt.”

Lewis bolted upward in bed. He turned on the light on the nightstand and looked at his wife with eyes that asked, ”Really?” Laura recognized the question in his expression and she nodded her head. Lewis sighed.

”Oh no…”

**********

Martha Kent was in her kitchen. She had warmed a cup of milk to help her sleep and she was now sitting at her kitchen table sipping it as she thought of her son and her deceased husband. Occasionally she reached down and petted Shelby who was faithfully lying on the floor next to her. As she ran her hand over the dog’s shiny coat the pet lifted up its head. It got to its feet and started pacing back and forth.

”Shelby, what’s wrong?”

The dog ran to the front door of the house and started pacing back and forth by it. Martha rose from her seat to see what was bothering the dog. She took a few steps and stopped when the door opened and Clark walked through.

”Clark!”

Shelby barked loudly and raised his paws. Clark got on one knee and affectionately hugged the animal. Shelby enthusiastically licked Clark’s face. Martha ran to her son and he picked her up and hugged her. Then he set her down and she examined him in his Superman attire.

”You look so handsome today, Clark.”

Clark knew that his mother would always say he was handsome no matter what he looked like. Her gushing over him always made him slightly embarrassed.

“Mom…”

“Okay. Okay. How come you never call me?”

“But I fly home to see you all the time.”

“I know you do but a son should call his mother. Come. Sit down. I’ll make you something to eat.”

“That’s okay. I’m not hungry.”

“I have some freshly baked apple pie.”

“Mom, I’m not hungry.”

Martha paid no attention to her son’s response. There was a large apple pie on the kitchen counter. She took a small plate from one of the cabinets and set it near the pie. Then she took a knife and began cutting into it. Then she suddenly stopped.

”I have a cherry pie if you don’t want the apple.”

Although Clark wasn’t hungry he knew that when it came to his mother wanting him to eat – resistance was futile. But he didn’t mind. It just always seemed right that when he visited his mother that he should have something to eat with her.

”Apple pie is fine, mom.”

“I also have some Shoe Fly pie. I don’t know why they call it pie when it’s really a cake. But you can have some Shoe Fly if you want.”

“The apple is fine, mom.”

Martha cut what amounted a quarter of the entire pie for Clark. She placed it on the table in front of Clark and then poured him a large glass of milk. Clark swept his cape behind him, sat down and started eating the pie. His mother waited for his reaction. A large smile appeared on his face.

”Mom, this is the best pie you ever made.”

“You always say that.”

Martha returned his smile and placed her hand on his. Her heart always grew light when she was in the presence of her son. Clark gobbled down the pie and gulped down the milk. Then he leaned back in the chair.

”That was good.”

“You want more?”

“No. No.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

“You want to take some home? I’ll wrap it up.”

“No. That’s okay, mom. Not tonight.”

Clark stood up and took his plate and empty glass to the kitchen sink. Martha followed him.

”What’s bothering you, son?”

“What makes you think something’s bothering me?”

“Don’t do that answer a question with another question crap with me, Clark. That may work with Lois Lane. It won’t work with me. What’s bothering you?”

They both went back to the table. Clark smiled at Martha.

”I guess there’s no fooling you, mom.”

Martha simply answered with the expression of motherly love in her eyes. Clark continued.

”I don’t know, mom. I don’t even know if anything is wrong. Since I became Superman I’ve always been so certain of everything. Certain of who I am. Certain of what I have to do.”

“And now you’re not?

“I don’t know. For the first time ever I’m confused.”

“What’s causing your confusion?”

Clark didn’t know how to answer. He simply shrugged his shoulders. Then he thought for a moment and asked.

”Did you watch television tonight, mom?”

“Just some Walker Texas Ranger reruns. I love Chuck Norris.”

Clark chuckled at his mother’s comment and then continued.

”Without getting into details, I’ve been assigned to cover a story for the Daily Planet and through a bizarre set of circumstances I’ve now become part of the story.”

“Part of the story as in….Superman?”

“No. Part of the story as in Clark Kent. If I cover the story the way I’m supposed to then I’ll have to carry out a deception. But if I participate in the story without a deception than I won’t be able to do my job.”

“Do you want to be part of the story?”

“A couple of hours ago when I was literally pushed into it I was sure I didn’t want to be part of the story. In fact, I didn’t even want the assignment. Now….now I’m not so sure.”

Martha got to her feet and walked over to Clark. She placed her hand on his arm.

”So you really like this girl?”

Clark was surprised by his mother’s question.

”What makes you think I’m talking about a girl?”

“Clark, you can change the course of mighty rivers and bend steel in your bare hands. Jor-El gave you all of the knowledge of the twenty eight known galaxies…and you’re confused? You wouldn’t be the first great man in history to be confused by a woman.”

Clark didn’t answer his mother. He knew he didn’t have to. Martha continued.

”Clark, when you were a child your father and I were always scared that if someone found out about all the things you could do you would be taken away from us. And then later as we got older it became very clear that you are here for a reason. You’ve found that reason as Superman. But in the same way that a man discovers that he can’t live just for himself and sooner or later he’s going to have to live for other people; you may have discovered that you can’t live just for other people. Sooner or later you’re going to have to live for yourself.”

There was a silence between them as Clark thought over what his mother had just said. Martha continued.

”How does she feel about you?”

“It hasn’t gotten to that point. But how will I know when I reach that point? When does the confusion become clarity?”

“Well, speaking for myself, it was when I felt the click.”

“The click?”

“Yeah. The click? I was taking a class at Met U. I saw Jonathan in the class and knew I had to meet him. One day after class I saw him sitting at a picnic table eating an apple. I was always the master note taker of the class but this time I acted like I needed help. I went up to him and asked if I could borrow his notes. He handed his notes over to me without a second thought. That was it. That was the click?”

“That was the click?”

“Yep. That’s when I knew I had found the person I would marry.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It never does. Can I make you a sandwich?”

Clark declined the offer. His mother had always believed that whatever the problem, eating would somehow help. It was time for Clark to leave. But his mother convinced him to stay the night and leave in the morning.

”Clark, you have a decision to make. It may be the most important decision in your life. Even more important than your decision to become Superman. But you don’t have to make it just yet.”

His mother still maintained his bedroom so he could use it anytime he wanted. He lay in bed wearing an old pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt. For a while he just stared at the ceiling thinking over the day and what he mother had told him.

”A click, huh?”

He was just as confused now as he was before he talked to his mother. But for some reason being confused and being home felt a lot better than being confused and not being home. He closed his eyes and slept peacefully.

End of Chapter Six

**********

[LetMeGo]

Lana's parents seem concerned about her feet... I'm going guess it's a good sign for Clark's chances.

I'm glad Clark went home, even if he didn't get the answers he was looking for he had someone he could talk to about everything.

[The Black Cat]

Awesome chapter!!! PPMS!!!

[CaptainObvious]

Finally got a chance to read this story so I'm caught up. I really love it so far. Hope Clark get's his suitcases soon. He really had a lousy day.

Maybe Clark will get the first 1:1 date with Lana. The 1:1 dates are always fantasy-esqe and private. This will allow them to get to know each other better without others around. Here's hoping Lana has many more roses for Clark.

[oldmankent]

Chapter Seven

”Plausible Deniability”

The following morning Lois Lane entered the Daily Planet and went directly to her desk to deposit her briefcase and purse. As she looked over at Clark’s desk it felt strange to her to see it empty. She was used to a routine with Clark and his absence had caused that routine to be broken. She went to the newsroom pantry, said good morning to a few colleagues, poured a cup of black coffee, went back to her desk, booted up her computer and started reviewing the online news from the Associated Press. As she was working a deliveryman entered the newsroom and approached her.

”Ms. Lane? Ms. Lois Lane?”

Lois lifted up her head and looked at the deliveryman as if she had expected his arrival.

”Yes?”

“Delivery. Please sign here.”

Lois signed the deliveryman’s clipboard. He handed her a thin long box encircled by a red ribbon with a small envelope attached to it. She opened the box. Inside was a single long stemmed red rose. She opened the envelope, pulled out a small card and read it.

Any man can send a dozen roses.
I’m not just any man.

Love
Oliver

Lois ripped the card into several pieces and threw it in the garbage can on the side of her desk. Then she gave the red rose to one of the secretaries seated outside of Perry White’s office. She went back to her desk only to find a second deliveryman waiting for her.

”Ms Lane? Ms. Lois Lane?”

Lois let out an exasperated sigh.

”Yes….”

“Please sign here.”

Again Lois signed a clipboard and this time she was handed a card and a similar but larger box encircled by a larger red ribbon. She opened the box to find a dozen long stemmed red roses. She opened the envelope, pulled out a small card and read it.

Then again, why shouldn’t I be like any man?

Love
Oliver

Again Lois tore the card into several pieces and threw it into the garbage can. ”Oliver, this time your charm is not going to work.” She found a colleague who was married and gave him the roses to give to his wife. When she walked back to her desk she found another deliveryman. She observed that he wasn’t carrying a box.

”Ms. Lane? Ms. Lois Lane?”

“So what are you delivering?”

“No delivery, Ms. Lane. I’m here to present a singing telegram.”

“A singing telegram?”

He didn’t explain. Instead he started singing in his best Gene Pitney voice.

Author’s Note: The actual song can be found here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnzDwZ5REPk&feature=PlayList&p=3F266C0725FD016C&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=55.

”Only love can break a heart.
Only love can mend it again.”

He then stopped and whistled in between the lyrics.

”Last night I hurt you
But darling, re…mem…ber…..this.

Only love can break a heart.
Only love can mend it again.

You know I’m sorry.
I’ll prove it.
With just…one… kiss

“Only love can…..”

Lois held up her hand and he stopped singing.

”Stop! That’s enough! I don’t want to hear it!”

The singer stopped but his face looked like that of a child who had found no presents underneath the Christmas tree.

“Don’t you want to hear me finish the song?”

“No I don’t want to hear you finish the song!”

“But I’ve been working on it all morning. I’m coming to the point where I put a really cool emotional break in my voice.”

Lois let out a sigh of frustration. ”If I don’t let this guy finish his song I might shatter his self esteem for the rest of his life or he might go postal on me.”

Lois shook her head and waved her hand to indicate that he should continue.

“Go ahead. Finish the bloody song. Let me hear the break in your voice that you practiced.”

A broad smile came over his face. A crowd was forming around Lois and the singer with Perry White and Jimmy Olsen in front. Now filled with confidence, the singer continued his song.

”Give me a chance to…
Make up for…
The harm I’ve done….

Try to forgive me…
And let’s keep
The two of us one…..”

He momentarily stopped and looked at Lois.

”The break I practiced is coming. You ready?”

“I’m ready.”

He continued.

”Please…let…me…hold you….uh and love you.
For always and always…

Only love can break a heart.
Only love can mend it again!!!!”

As he finished the song the crowd erupted in applause. Perry White moved forward and patted the singer on his shoulder.

”Not bad. Not bad. It’s not Heartbreak Hotel but it’s not bad. You ought to try out for American Idol.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah, I do. I see a little bit of David Cook in you.”

“Really? David Cook? Hey! You want to hear my Billie Jean?”

“No. No. No. That’s quite alright. I’m sure you have somewhere else to be. Thanks for the song.”

“No! No! No! I don’t have to be somewhere else.”

He started to croon again.

”Billie Jean is not my lov….”

Perry stopped him.

”I’d love to listen but we’ve got a paper to put out. I’ll be looking for you on American Idol.”

The singer left in a much better mood than when he entered. Jimmy Olsen spoke to Perry.

”Chief, you really think he’ll end up on American Idol.”

“Not a chance, Jimmy. There’s more of chance of you and me meeting an alien from outer space right here in the newsroom.”

“Hello Everyone!”

All heads turned towards the voice. Clark Kent had just entered the newsroom. Lois couldn’t mask the surprise in her voice.

”Clark! What are you doing here?”

The crowd started to circle around Clark.

”I need to talk to Perry.”

“Did you take the red eye in from Honolulu?”

Clark thought for a moment about what he had just been asked and how he could answer without lying and without causing suspicion.

”I flew all night.”

The answer seemed to satisfy Lois. Jimmy Olsen moved close to Clark as if Clark was a celebrity and Jimmy was hoping for some magic to rub off from Clark to him.

”CK! You are the man!”

Clark looked warily at Jimmy. ”This can’t be good.” Jimmy continued.

”CK, can we go out sometime?. I can stand in your chum line.”

“Chum line?”

“Yeah. You can give me your leftovers.”

Clark didn’t understand what Jimmy was talking about and didn’t know how to answer him. Perry moved next to Clark and placed his arm around Clark’s broad shoulders.

”Cat got your tongue, Clark? Don’t know what to say now that we and the world know your secret?”

The blood drained from Clark’s face. He could barely speak.

”My….secret?”

Perry squeezed Clark’s shoulders.

”Don’t be shy. I should have known. My mama always told me that it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for.”

Clark remained silent. He swallowed hard. ”How does everyone know? Did the camera catch me when I floated over the wall into the complex?”

Lois stood in front of him.

”So now we know what you do when you go home at night? What did you say you have? Responsibilities? That’s a unique way of putting it.”

“You….You….know about my….re….respon….responsi…responsibilities?”

“Clark, don’t get so hung up on yourself. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“You’ve seen before?”

Jimmy Olsen responded to Lois’ remark.

”Don’t let Lois fool you. I doubt she’s experienced what you pulled off last night, CK. You were positively magnificent. No. I take that back. Magnificent is too weak a word. You were god-like. I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

The crowd laughed at Jimmy’s remark. Clark felt himself getting weak in the knees. He had experienced occasional nightmares where his identity as Superman was revealed to the world. But in his worst nightmare he had never dreamed that the revelation would be met with – laughter.

Perry joined in.

”You ought to ask the M&M Mars Company for royalties.”

Clark was now even more confused.

”M&M Mars?”

“Yeah. M&M Mars. M&M Mars makes the SNICKERS candy bar.”

Perry made a comment to the crowd.

“If Clark Kent can do what he did with candy bar, just imagine what could do with a dozen roses.”

Clark looked at all of the faces looking at him. ”What does a SNICKERS bar have to do with Superman?” Jimmy spoke to Clark quietly under his breath. Jimmy acted like a little boy who was standing next to a sport’s hero.

”You must be getting laid every night, aren’t ya? All this time you let everyone think that you were a loner and in reality you are a super stud.”

Clark’s eyes almost bulged out of his head.

”I’m a what?”

Perry had overheard what Jimmy said and joined in.

”You, Clark Kent, a mild mannered reporter, were out there among billionaires, celebrities, athletes and you stole the show and the girl – with a SNICKERS bar. Clark, you can’t hide it anymore. Only a man experienced in the ways of women would have had the confidence and the know how to pull such a stunt.”

Clark breathed a sigh of relief. They were never really talking about his ‘real’ secret life. They thought he had a secret sex-life. ”Whew!” A smile of relief came to Clark’s face. Everyone around him assumed that his smile was an acknowledgement of what had been insinuated about him. ”Wait a minute. I don’t have a sex life.” This thought was followed by a voice deep from within his conscience. ”How pathetic is that, Mr. Sex God?”

Although he was relieved, Clark wasn’t happy. ”Everyone is thinking that I was just putting on a show. That I wasn’t sincere in my feelings.” This was followed by the deeper voice within him. ”Exactly what are your feelings, Mister Super Stud?” Clark couldn’t answer his own question. He heard Perry’s voice.

”You said you wanted to see me, son. Come on into my office.”

The crowd dispersed. Clark followed Perry into his office. He was surprised when Lois came along but he said nothing. She closed the door behind them. Perry sat behind his desk. Clark remained standing in front of the desk. Lois placed herself in one the corners of the office as if she were hiding.

”Now what did you want to talk to me about, Clark?”

Clark looked around at Lois. He really didn’t want her to be there but sooner or later she would find out about the conversation and it would be better if she didn’t hear about it second hand.

Clark had slept well during the night and when he woke up his mind was free and the course he had to take was clear. He spoke clearly and decisively.

”Perry, I’d like to be relieved of this assignment. I can’t report on this story while being part of the story.”

"Now son, I know that wise men say only fools rush in but…..

Perry stopped and remained silent and motionless behind his desk as he thought over he had just heard. Lois was stunned by Clark’s declaration. In all the years she had known Clark she had never seen him refuse an assignment. Not even dangerous ones. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room for about a minute and then a smile appeared on Perry’s face that soon changed to a guffaw.

”Okay! Okay! I see what you’re doing. I know how to play this game. Okay Clark. Here’s my answer.

Clark, I’ve given you an assignment. I expect you to carry it out. No. I will not relieve you from this story.”

Now it was Clark who was silent. When he woke up at the Kent farm in Smallville he decided that he could not report an unbiased story about The Bachelorette while at the same time being a part of that story. He was hoping that Perry would see his predicament and consent to relieve him from the assignment. But Perry happily served the ball right back to Clark. Now it was Clark’s decision.

Did Clark wish to be a reporter or did he wish to be a contestant on a reality show? ”Should I quit my job? But would I be quitting? Why am I having this conflict within me?” He looked Perry directly in the eye.

”Then I’m going to have to resign from the Daily Planet.”

Perry answered without hesitation.

”That’s your call, Clark.”

For the second time in less than five minutes Lois Lane was stunned. She moved away from the corner and approached Perry.

”Perry, you can’t let Clark go! He’s my partner! We’re a team!”

“Lois, stay out of this! This is between Clark and me.”

Perry waited for Clark’s answer like Gary Cooper waiting for the gunmen in High Noon.

”Then I quit.”

“That’s what I thought. You can clean out your desk. I’ll have Human Resources process your paperwork within the hour and Security will escort you from the building.”

It was now Clark who was stunned by the perfunctory manner in which he was being dismissed. But what happened next stunned him even more. Perry got up from his seat, walked around from his desk, and extended his hand to shake Clark’s hand. Not knowing what to do Clark could only return the handshake. Perry could hardly contain his enthusiasm.

”Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Did Russell Somerset teach you how to keep a straight face like that?”

“Perry, I don’t think you understand. I just quit my job.”

“Of course, you did. This way we don’t have the appearance of a conflict of interest.”

“Perry! I’m really quitting!”

“Careful, Clark. Don’t say another word. There’s no need to overact. You’ll get the Oscar and the Daily Planet will get the story.”

“Now wait a minute Perry! I mean what I’m saying…..”

Perry wouldn’t let Clark finish and started leading him to the door of his office.

”Clark, you are a true professional. Lois, what did I tell you? I told you that with Clark the story comes first. Don’t worry about a thing Clark. It will look like you’ve severed all ties with the Daily Planet. No one will know you’re undercover.”

“Undercover?”

“I’ll even make sure that your corporate charge card gets cancelled.”

“Cancelled?”

“Of course, you’ll have to pay for your own expenses for the duration of the show.”

“My own expenses?”

“Once it’s wrapped up you’ll be rehired. You’ll write the story and voucher your expenses and get reimbursed.”

“Once it’s wrapped up?”

Perry stood by the closed door and looked through the window at the newsroom.

”Let’s make this look good for everyone.”

Perry opened the door. He began to feign anger and he shouted out.

”You wanna quit! Go ahead and quit! The Daily Planet got along fine without you before I hired you. It will get along fine without you after you leave. You think you’re the King. There was only one King! And it ain’t you! Now get your things and get the hell out of here!”

Everyone in the newsroom turned their heads towards the clamor. They had often heard Perry White raise his voice in excitement and in frustration but seldom in anger. Now he was not only raising his voice in anger but in anger towards one of his prize reporters. The effect was shattering. A few seconds before Perry’s outburst the newsroom was filled with chatter. Now there was an eerie silence. As Clark left the office his colleagues became very aware of their own positions. People who had spent the morning playing Solitaire on their computers now sat up straight in their seats and were busy with work. Personal phone calls were quickly ended. For the remainder of the day the water cooler became a lonely outpost that no one dare approach.

Once Clark left the office Perry slammed his door shut and started singing to himself while forgetting that Lois was still in the room.

”On a cold and gray Chicago morn another little baby child is born…in the ghetto….and his mama cried…..”

“Perry, what are you doing?”

Perry was surprised that Lois was still in the room.

”Oh Lois. You’re still here.”

“You can’t let Clark walk.”

“He’s not walking. He never intended to quit. It just sounds that way.”

“Just sounds that way?”

“Lois, Clark is Deep Throat.”

“Deep Throat? Clark isn’t gay!”

“Not that kind of Deep Throat. The Watergate Deep Throat. The All The President’s Men Deep Throat. The Woodward and Bernstein Deep Throat.”

Knowing who the Watergate Deep Throat but not knowing why Perry alluded to Clark as such, Lois shook her head in dismay and confusion.

“Does Clark know that?”

“Of course he does. Clark is brilliant. Why did he go undercover? I’ll tell you why. It’s because he’s found something big!”

“Big?”

“Really big! But he can’t tell us what it is yet. He doesn’t want a leak because if he’s discovered the game’s over. No story. So he sets up a phony conflict with me so he can quit and he can’t get tied back to the Daily Planet.”

“Why didn’t you let him finish speaking?”

“The less said the better. Now if you and I are questioned about Clark’s leaving we don’t have to lie. He told us he’s quitting and that’s all we know. Period. We have established plausible deniability.”

Lois looked at Clark through the windows of Perry’s office. ”Are you really doing it for the story, Clark? Or is it something else? I saw the way Lana looked at you, Clark. That was a ‘click’ if I ever saw one. Are you going to break her heart?” Perry noticed the expression of concern on Lois’ face. He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

”Now Lois. Don’t go talking to Clark about this. He’s on his own. Clark is going dark?”

“Dark? Perry, have you been watching reruns of 24 again?”

**********

Clark felt like he was in a daze. He hadn’t been this confused since he first entered kindergarten and discovered that not all children could crawl under an automobile and lift it into the air like he could. But out of that confusion had come the realization of the wisdom in the manner in which his parents protected him.

His course seemed so clear just an hour before when he entered the Daily Planet. Now he didn’t know what to think and as usual, two voices rose within his consciousness as he stood by his desk gathering his personal items of which there was little.

”I quit my job.”

“Not really. Perry won’t let you quit.”

“How can he not let me quit?”

“He wants his story.”

“But there is no story.”

“Why isn’t there a story?”

“Because it’s just like I said. I can’t in good faith write the story and be part of the story at the same time.”

“Why not?”

“It’s unethical. It’s duplicitous.”

“You should not be the one giving lectures on duplicity. I take that back. Maybe you should be the one giving lectures on duplicity. After all you know so much about it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t you know? Tell me Kal-El, is the reason you wanted to quit really about ethics? Or is it about something else? Or is it about someone else?”

“So now what do I do?”

“Hey, you screwed up. So go with the flow.”

Clark felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to find uniformed security guard by his side.

”I’m sorry, Mister Kent. But I’ve been ordered to escort you from the building.”

Clark nodded his head. As he gathered up his things Lois was just coming out of Perry’s office and the elevator door had opened. Out of the elevator came four tuxedo clad middle-aged gentleman. Two of them held violins while one held an accordion. The four marched up to Lois Lane. Behind them was Oliver Queen.

The three men with instruments started to play while the fourth man started to sing in a Dean Martin type voice.

”Return to me….
Oh my dear I’m so lonely…..
Take me back. Take me back. Take me back to my heart.
Be my own.

Return to me…

Author’s Note: The actual song can be found here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siVOknW_9qw.

Lois shouted out.

”Stop! Oliver it won’t work!”

Oliver came forward with eyes like that of a lovesick child. He held out in his hands a box of SNICKERS bars. The gesture only made Lois angrier.

”Oliver, all you want is sex and I’m through spreading my legs for you! You can go boing yourself from now on!”

Clark raised his eyebrows.

”Boing?”

Now Lois turned her wrath towards Clark.

”And you can go boing yourself too!”

“What did I do?”

“All you men are the same!”

Lois turned from them and walked quickly into the ladies restroom. Both men with the musicians and the security guard went into the elevator. As the seven occupants watched the floor numbers get smaller on the elevator display Clark turned to Oliver.

”Boing?”

“Don’t ask.”

Then Oliver opened the box of candy bars.

”Does anyone want a SNICKERS bar?”

End of Chapter Seven

**********

[CaptainObvious]

Thanks for the update! Oliver's attempts at winning back Lois made me chuckle.

Now what? I assume Clark will head back to Hawaii and be one of the bachelors trying to get Lana's attention. Here's hoping they get a walk on the beach at sunset soon!

Post again soon! Looking forward to more.

[LetMeGo]

The return of the Snickers bar! LOL

Perry... wow, he's a little crazy!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Eight

”Night at the Round Table”

The next episode of The Bachelorette was to take place at the mansion. It would be filmed and then edited for time and content so that it could be broadcast the following week. The highlight of the episode was to be a seven course formal dinner for Lana and all twenty remaining bachelors. It would be served at an enormous round table. The bachelors would draw numbers for the seating arrangements. The lower the number the closer the seat to Lana. The official purpose of this dinner was to give Lana an idea as to how the bachelors would react to each other in a social setting in front of her. The unofficial purpose was to create conflict among the bachelors. Reality television shows thrive on conflict among the contestants. The viewing audience loves conflict. The producers determined that it would be interesting for Lana to witness twenty men competing for her attention all at the same time. The producers also determined that would be interesting to see what role patience, decorum and good manners would play in Lana’s decision making. Do nice guys really finish last? The producers had in-depth profiles on each of the bachelors and the producers expected certain reactions from each one. They knew that Jason Teague was aggressive. They knew that Russell Somerset prided himself on being a gentleman. How would these two men react to one another in the presence of the woman they were competing for? They knew that Bruce Wayne was also well mannered but combative when pushed. At the end of the episode the number of remaining bachelors would be sliced from twenty to fifteen.

In the opening episode each of the bachelors, with the exception of Jason Teague, had met Lana for the first time. Afterwards they congregated with each other and an interesting social dynamic began to take place.

The bachelors began to form into groups.

For the most part these groups were formed based on social and financial status.

One group consisted of those men who were born into money. Jason Teague, Thomas T. Thomas, Jr., and Cash McCall had fathers who had made large sums of money. These men were either financiers or attorneys. They considered themselves to be to the most attractive men of the remaining twenty bachelors or the ‘best catches’. They were physically handsome, socially elevated, and very wealthy. They also anointed themselves as the ‘leaders of the pack’. They believed that the other bachelors were envious of them because their physical, social and financial attributes gave them the best shot at Lana. This trio tried to recruit Bruce Wayne into their group. Wayne fit the profile, handsome, socially elevated and born into wealth. But unlike Teague, Wayne seemed almost embarrassed by his wealth and stayed away from what he called the unholy trinity.

A. J. MacMurphy and P Daddy Sugar seemed to be kindred spirits. Both men came from non-wealthy backgrounds and acquired their newfound money through their professions – MacMurphy as a professional athlete and Sugar as an entertainer. Both saw money as just a means to an end and the end was to have fun. And having fun saying and doing whatever you wanted to do and having sex as often as possible with as many women as possible. Both men wanted to be the winner of the competition but neither man would be crushed if they lost.

Other groups formed based on common interests and common personality types.

Russell Somerset and Bruce Wayne took an immediate liking to each other and formed their own duo. Wayne liked the way Somerset attempted to psychoanalyze and profile everyone. He tried to get into everyone’s head. Wayne thought that this must be the process Somerset used when preparing for an acting role. He listened carefully as Somerset commented on each of the bachelors and found that Somerset was very keen in his observations. Plus Wayne found it amusing when Somerset referred to Teague as a twit.

Somerset liked the fact that Wayne did not take himself seriously. Despite his wealth and stature, Bruce Wayne was unpretentious. Both men thought that Lana Lang was one of the most beautiful women they had ever met. But both were sporting enough to say, ‘if she doesn’t pick me I hope she picks you.’ Both men liked Clark Kent and they recognized that the twenty two other bachelors wanted nothing to do with rumpled last second fill-in. They also recognized the fact that Lana Lang displayed an immediate connection with Clark. This activated a sentimental nerve that each man unknowingly possessed. So like adopting the runt of the litter, they took Clark under their wings. They both found personal satisfaction in lending a hand to the underdog.

So at the beginning of the second episode the men arrived at The Bachelorette Mansion in the groups that they had bonded into. Wayne and Somerset had contacted Clark the day before the episode and the three men decided to ride together in a limousine to the mansion.

By this time Clark’s luggage had arrived in Honolulu and his everyday clothes were no longer a problem. However, the dinner was to be a black tie affair and Clark had packed to be a reporter and not a contestant. But this time he had the key for his apartment in Metropolis and in only a few minutes he flew home and back to retrieve his tuxedo. In another few minutes he was outfitted for the affair. He met Wayne and Somerset downstairs in the lobby of the hotel. A small group of fans gathered around Somerset to ask for his autograph and he obliged all askers. Many people especially the single women in the hotel began to take notice of the three men. The three tall, dark haired and tuxedo clad men drew many eyes as they met and greeted each other, proceeded to their limousine and drove off. Wayne and Somerset sat in one seat while Clark sat in the seat opposite them. Clark noticed that Wayne was observing him.

”Bruce, is something wrong? I made sure my clothes are clean for the occasion. I even scrubbed behind my ears in the shower.”

Wayne chuckled at Clark’s comment.

“I’m sorry, Clark. I didn’t mean to stare. I was just thinking of some of the books you’ve written with Lois Lane.”

“You’ve read them?”

“Of course. It’s difficult to write non-fiction and make it interesting and exciting at the same time. You two seem have done it. The page turning anticipation of getting to the next chapter of the stories ranks right up there with Tom Clancy (and OMK) except for the fact that it’s all nonfiction. But I have a question.”

“What’s that?”

“Why do you underplay the role of Superman? You and Lois have made your reputation by tackling issues…dangerous issues that other reporters would never even think of going near. Yet the role of Superman in assisting you and Lois is sort of glossed over. Why is that?”

Clark was surprised at the insight of Wayne’s comment. No one before had ever made such an observation. It was obvious that Wayne had not only read Clark’s books but had studied them. The astuteness of the remark belied Bruce Wayne’s reputation. Like most people, Clark only knew the Bruce Wayne that was presented in the tabloids. Those tabloids portrayed Wayne as self-centered billionaire whose only concern was his own gratification. With just one question Wayne revealed himself to be something more. ”Could it be that there’s more to Bruce Wayne than meets the eye?” Clark’s instinct told him to be very careful with his answer. A lie might be easily detected and only lead to more questions. He decided to answer carefully but truthfully.

”It’s the way Superman wants it.”

Wayne nodded his head as if he understood exactly what Clark was talking about. He turned to Somerset.

”What do you think of that, Russell?”

“I’d say that the decision to be left out of the books is consistent with Superman’s character.”

This comment caught Clark’s attention.

”What do you mean?”

“Well, look at it this way. Everything Superman does places him in the spotlight. Everything he does makes the evening news and the morning newspapers whether he wants it that way or not. He would be a publicist’s nightmare because as soon as he makes news he removes himself from it. The world knows him and at the same time the world doesn’t know him. In other words, Superman has his own little world and he doesn’t let anyone in and when he does let someone in it’s only for a brief moment and then he shuts the door. It’s not surprising that he would do the same thing with his role in the books you and Ms. Lane have written. Writing about him would allow the public into his world and that’s something he doesn’t want.”

Wayne followed up with a question.

”Russell, you’ve studied so many characters for your acting. How would you profile Superman?”

“Like I said the last time I would love to talk to him for an hour. All I have to go on is what I read in the newspapers and see on television. But I would say Superman is someone who leads a double life.”

Clark was startled but maintained a blank facial expression as he responded.

”You said that before. What would lead you to think that?”

“Well, after all he’s not God. But there he is all over the world, even in the most remote places, responding to trouble. How does he know where he’s needed? Now assuming he’s not in some invisible spaceship orbiting the Earth and monitoring our communications he must somehow have access to information so that he knows where to go. Something to do with the news. A newsman or news gatherer. Something like that. Maybe he’s some sort of lowly technician who monitors the news services at CNN. Well, if this is the case he can’t work among others as Superman. I think the red cape would give him away. So he must be working as someone else. Someone who would be easily overlooked. Therefore, he would be leading a double life. Almost like a spy who has burrowed deeply undercover. The psychological stress must be tremendous.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He can’t reveal himself. If he does the shows over. He’d be followed by the paparazzi just like Bruce is or Britney Spears. So he hides himself. No close friends. No close relationships. He must be totally alone. It’s an extreme irony. Here he is flying everywhere to help people. Totally devoted to helping humanity. Yet there is absolutely not one human he can trust. Or rather there is absolutely not one human he would let himself trust. It’s really quite tragic when you think about it.”

Wayne spoke.

”Is that how you’re going to play Warrior Angel?”

“For the most part except that the studio is insisting on Angel having a love interest.”

“You don’t like the love interest idea?”

“Well, it would go against the grain of his character. If he had a love interest it would only add a whole new layer of problems to his life. He’s already worried to death about his identity being discovered. Now he would have to worry about the person he loves somehow being placed in harm’s way. In my opinion, Warrior Angel would never let himself be placed into a position where he would fall in love. It would take an extraordinary person to make him fall in love. But the studio wants a love story and we’ve got Megan Fox under contract so there you have it.”

Clark’s curiosity had been stimulated by the conversation. The conversation was about Clark without it actually being about Clark. He didn’t want to speak about himself but at the same time it was difficult to resist discovering what people actually thought about him. ”It’s not what they think of you, Clark. It’s what they think of Superman. But I am Superman. Are you?”

”So you don’t think that Warrior Angel and for that matter, Superman, would ever let himself fall in love?”

“I seriously doubt that Superman has ever been in love. He probably wouldn’t know what love is if it smacked him in his face.”

Clark was pensive over what he had just heard. He quickly thought over his past and his relationships, or rather his lack of relationships. He had been friends with women. He had dated, mostly in high school. He even went to his senior prom. But there was never anything that could be called ‘serious’. ”Not even close. Much to my mother’s chagrin.” This was before he left with Jor-El and discovered his destiny. Even then something held him back from becoming emotionally involved. Clark listened as Somerset continued.

”But the thing is if Superman ever did fall in love the emotion would be overwhelming for him.”

“How so?”

“Look at it this way. Superman or Warrior Angel has always been alone. He allows no one to be close. And then it hits him! He falls in love. He has no experience with it. It would be like a dam breaking. The deluge of emotion would sweep over him. His life would undergo a paradigm shift. He would look at everything and everyone differently. For the first time in his life he would begin to question his purpose. He would want to be alone and not want to be alone. He would welcome change and he would hate change. He would experience a happiness he never felt before and he would be miserable. Everything at the same time. He would feel enormously confused and conflicted.”

Then Somerset did something unusual. He reached over an extended his hand to Clark. Clark shook Somerset’s hand but didn’t know why.

”Thank you, Clark.”

“For what?”

“Your questions helped me identify a new layer to Warrior Angel. Something I hadn’t seen before. Without the benefit of a love interest in the story Warrior Angel would just be a bloody boring Boy Scout. With a love interest I can now portray him as someone on the razor’s edge of insanity. A superhero who is slowly losing his mind.”

Clark gave Somerset a small smile but thought to himself, ”That’s not very comforting.”

Somerset seldom got the opportunity to speak about how he prepared for a role with people who appreciated his extensive preparation. He was enjoying the conversation and he continued talking.

”Superman isn’t the only one I’d like to speak to. I’d also like to talk to that bird boy you have in Gotham City.”

He had directed his remarks to Bruce Wayne.

”Bird boy?”

“Or something to that effect. You know. He only comes out at night. Like an owl or a cricket or something like that.”

Clark responded to Somerset.

”I think you’re referring to the Batman. That’s what my colleagues at the Gotham City Gazette are calling him.”

“The Batman. Yes. That’s it. Now he seems to have some serious issues.”

Clark was glad to get off the subject of Superman. As he looked at Bruce Wayne he was somewhat surprised by the expression on Wayne’s face. Somerset’s comments about the Batman seemed to have irked Wayne.

As if Wayne had been offended by Somerset’s flippant remarks.

**********

Lana Lang slept ten hours the night after the first episode. She woke up refreshed and happy. She didn’t know why she was happy. She just knew that everything felt – right. This day and the next day were very relaxing. Chloe ensured that Lana wasn’t bothered with a care in the world. Most of the time was spent in the Hawaiian sun by the large pool on the grounds of the Bachelorette mansion. This allowed Lana ample time to think over everything that had happened in the first episode. It had been crowded. Every second of that day had been filled but Lana had enjoyed all of it. ”What red blooded American girl wouldn’t enjoy meeting twenty five, mostly handsome, single men who have jobs?” Some of them made her laugh. ”P Daddy Sugar.” Some of them impressed her with their charm. ”Russell Somerset. Or should I say Sir Russell?” Lana ran their faces across her mind’s eye in the order that she had met them. Bachelor #1, #2…..#3 through #24 and then she stopped at Bachelor #25. ”Clark.” She was laying by the pool in her swimsuit. All her muscles were relaxed from the warmth of the sun. The alcohol from two Mojitos had given her just a slight buzz. Her cell phone rang. She looked at the Caller ID and answered the phone.

”Hi Mom.”

“Hi Lana. How’s our favorite daughter?”

“I’m your only daughter, Mom. In fact, I’m your only child.”

“Well, how are you doing?”

“I’m doing fine, Mom. Tonight we’re filming the second episode. We’re having a big dinner with all of the bachelors at once.”

“Well, we found out something about Clark Kent.”

“I don’t know if I should be listening to this.”

“Well your father thinks that it’s important that you should know that Kent doesn’t have a job.”

“Now how would Dad know that?”

Lana heard her mother speak to her father.

”Here. Talk to your daughter. She wants to know how we know that Clark Kent doesn’t have a job.”

Lana could hear her mother handing off the telephone. Then she heard her father’s strong voice.

”Hi Lana! How’s our favorite daughter?”

Lana rolled her eyes and decided not to answer her father the same way she answered her mother.

”I’m fine, Dad. What did you want to tell me?”

“Clark Kent is a reporter for the Daily Planet or rather he was a reporter for the Daily Planet. There was an announcement in the paper today that Clark Kent has left the paper to pursue other interests.”

“So what does that have to do with me?”

“Well, he doesn’t have a job, honey.”

“So?”

“Well, a husband should support his wife and how can Clark Kent do that if he doesn’t have job?”

Lana became exasperated. From the time she had started dating her parents had viewed every male in her life the same way – as a potential husband. As a teenager, every boy who called upon her was scrutinized as if he were standing before a Congressional subcommittee.

Where do you live?
Who are your parents?
Where are you going to college?
What are you majoring in?
What can you do with that major?
What kind of money can you make in that profession?
Do any congenital diseases run in your family?
Any heart disease? Diabetes? Mental illness? Male pattern baldness?
Please pee into this container so that you can be tested for drugs.

As Lana grew older, graduated from high school and college, started her own business and became an independent woman, her parents’ attitude didn’t change. They were proud of their daughter’s accomplishments but they viewed Lana’s life as incomplete as long as she wasn’t married with a family of her own. Now at the age of twenty seven her parents were more aware of Lana’s biological clock than she was. Lana viewed her parents as ‘old fashioned’. She loved them but knew that their feelings would never change.

”Dad, I just met the guy. Who said anything about marriage?”

“You don’t want a reporter anyway, Lana. They drink and smoke and carouse with all kinds of women. If they’re from San Francisco they drink and smoke and carouse with all kinds of men.”

“How do you know they do that, especially the carouse with women part?”

“Well that’s what Clark Gable did in Teacher’s Pet before Doris Day got her hooks into him.”

“That’s a movie, Dad.”

“I know but you said your feet hurt.”

“My feet hurt? What does that have to do with anything?”

Lana heard the commotion of the telephone being pulled out of her father’s hand. Then her mother was back on the line.

”Don’t listen to your father, dear. He’s an old fashioned fuddy duddy. All he does is watch black and white movies on the Turner Network.”

“Well, what do my feet have to do with anything?”

“Oh nothing, dear. It’s just that the other night you told us that your feet were hurting.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Well, are you getting a bunion? You do wear high heals.”

“No, Mom. I’m not getting a bunion.”

“Any corns?”

“No, Mom.”

“Ingrown toenails?”

“Mom!”

“Well, maybe you should see a podiatrist?”

“Mom, I’m okay. Really.”

“Well, if you say so.”

“Mom, I’ve got to go now.”

“Okay, dear. Have a good time tonight.”

The phone call ended. Lana loved her parents but sometimes conversations with them were exasperating. ”That exhausted me. I need another Mojito.” She asked the pool attendant for another cocktail. Then she laid back in her pool recliner and let her body soak in the sun’s rays. She closed her eyes and forgot about the telephone conversation. The face of Clark Kent came to her mind’s eye. ”Out of a job, huh? I know how to put you to work.” Without the alcohol in her system Lana never would have let herself think such a provocative thought. Lana’s little inside joke made the ends of her mouth began to curl upwards as she dozed off.

And unconsciously the toes of her feet began to curl inwards.

***********

”Why would you say that the Batman has issues?”

In just a few minutes the limousine would arrive at the mansion. Clark, Bruce and Russell were still continuing their conversation. Now it was Bruce Wayne who was very interested in what Somerset had to say.

”Well, unlike Superman, the Batman seems to have this thing about the criminal element of society. Superman puts the criminals away when he comes across them. This Batman seems to deliberately target the elements of the underworld in Gotham City. He not only apprehends them. He humiliates them. He renders them helpless and then puts them on display for the world to see. Metropolis sees Superman as a hero. Gotham City sees the Batman as a vigilante. Almost an anti-hero. And unlike Superman he appears to be human. A human with access to some extraordinary technology.”

“What’s unusual about that?”

“Well Bruce, here we have a man who glides through the air on homemade wings and uses all kinds of contraptions to hunt and apprehend his prey. This isn’t the type of stuff that one buys at Sears. He either has access to the technology or he is able to buy access to the technology.”

It was now Clark who was watching Bruce Wayne carefully. Somerset continued.

”The most interesting thing about the Batman is his motivation. Why is he doing what he is doing? Something terrible must have happened to him and now he is exacting his revenge.”

The limousine had stopped. They were at the mansion. The door was being opened.

**********

Lana had been outfitted by Dimitrio in another elegant evening gown. The gown was shimmering silver and her dark hair cascaded down past her shoulders and down to the middle of her back. This time the gown softly covered her shoulders and her entire back. The gown hugged her skin and accentuated her curves. Giving each man just a hint of what lay beneath the fabric and waited to be possessed by the right man.

This time instead of meeting the bachelors on a platform overlooking the ocean Lana was standing at the entrance to the mansion on a receiving line with the host, Chris Harrison, standing next to her. Each bachelor met Lana on the receiving line. This time when meeting each man Lana took both of their hands in hers. They usually kissed her on both cheeks and said a few pleasantries before they were escorted off into the dining area. In the dining area they were greeted by a cadre of attendants who were handing out glasses of champagne.

Word had gotten out to the tabloids that P Daddy Sugar and AJ MacMurphy were now best buddies and would be arriving together. This caused their fans to bond. Outside of the mansion were P Daddy Sugar’s fans chanting the lyrics of his songs along with MacMurphy’s fans who had portable barbecues set up along with coolers of beer as if they were tailgating before a football game. Together they gave a resounding greeting as the two men exited their limousine.

”Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!”

“AJ! AJ! AJ!”

Both men turned and waved to their fans. A buxom, young woman with long red hair moved to the front of the crowd, unzippered her sweatshirt, exposed her bountiful, naked breasts and yelled out.

”Hey AJ! If Lana doesn’t want you I’m here waiting for you! These are waiting for you too!”

MacMurphy’s mouth dropped and he started to move toward the young woman. P Daddy Sugar took hold of his arm.

”Hey man! What you doing?”

“I want her number, man.”

“Her number’s 36C, man!”

AJ let out a laugh at Sugar’s comment.

”You’re a hoot, Sugar. You da man!”

“Nah. I ain’t da man. You da man!”

”Alright. We’re da man!”

”That’s right, AJ. We’re da man!”

As they walked towards the house. MacMurphy took hold of the limousine driver’s arm and slapped a hundred dollar bill in the driver’s hand.

”Do me a favor and get that babe’s number, man. Tell her I’ll meet her after the episode.”

P Daddy Sugar and AJ MacMurphy entered the mansion together. Lana extended her hands to Sugar. Sugar took hold of Lana’s hands, placed them on his chest and burst into song.

”I ain’t got no SNICKER.
To you I give my ticker.
You make my heart a flicker.
Of this I will not bicker.
Cuz Lana you be a kicker.”

Lana let Sugar kiss her on both cheeks having no idea what he had just said. MacMurphy was right behind him. He kissed Lana on both cheeks and then handed Lana a football. Lana examined the ball and saw that it was autographed.

Johnny Unitas

”Oh AJ. My father said that when he was a boy he was a fan of Johnny Unitas. Thank you so much. Where did you get this?”

“I picked it up yesterday. He signed it for me.”

“Who signed it?”

“Johnny Unitas.”

Lana stood still. She looked at Harrison who knew exactly what Lana was thinking. Then she looked back at MacMurphy. MacMurphy was so happy about Lana accepting his gift that she didn’t have the heart to tell him that Johnny Unitas, the great quarterback from the old Baltimore Colts, had died several years ago. Somebody autographed the football but that somebody was not Johnny Unitas. Lana wondered how much money MacMurphy had spent on a forgery. MacMurphy left with Sugar and the two men went into the dining area where they began to guzzle the champagne and devour the finger food.

Jason Teague, Cash McCall and Thomas T. Thomas were the next group. Jason took Lana’s hands and looked at her.

”Oh Lana. You look beautiful.”

This time he did not attempt to kiss Lana on the mouth. Teague had seen the video of the opening episode and he was determined not to embarrass himself again.

The last three to arrive were Russell Somerset, Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent. Lana could almost feel the hormone level rise in her body as the three tall, dark, handsome and tuxedo clad men entered the mansion one after the other. She turned her attention to the first two men and then Clark was the last one to greet. Even as she greeted the others Lana could not keep her eyes from roaming in the direction of Clark Kent. It took every ounce of strength in her small body to maintain her composure as Clark walked up to her. His tuxedo was of the traditional style with a black bowtie. His shoulders were wide. His chest massive and his waist narrow. He kept the jacket buttoned but there was enough of the thin white shirt exposed that showed the extreme musculature of his chest underneath. ”Oh my God!” This time his hair was combed and he was clean shaven. Lana felt herself go weak in the knees. ”It’s a good thing he’s wearing eyeglasses otherwise I don’t think I’d be able to resist him when he looking at me. This is terrible. Why am I feeling this way?” She forced her shoulders back, looked him in the eyes and greeted Clark with the same good manners that she greeted everyone else.

No more. No less.

”Hello, Clark. It’s so nice to see you again.”

Lana did not kiss Clark as she did the others. ”If I kiss him, even on the cheek, I might not be able to stop.”

**********

Clark had entered the mansion with his two new friends in front of him. Although he was better prepared for this episode than the first episode he still felt extremely nervous. He heard an annoying voice….in the back of his head.

”You shouldn’t be here, Kal-El. Stop. Turn around and leave.”

It took a conscious effort for Clark to make one foot move in front of the other. Lana came into his view and he swallowed hard. In the full light of the mansion he now noticed things about Lana that he didn’t notice in the subdued light of the initial episode. Her teeth were a glistening white as she smiled to each man. Her eyes sparkled. He inhaled and could take in the scent of her perfume even from the distance he was from her. He felt lightheaded. His eyes moved from her hair to her shoulders to the slight swell of her breasts underneath the evening gown.

”Stop it, Kal-El! You’re getting a woody!”

Clark stood still and closed his eyes.

”Control yourself! Control yourself! Think of something else. Think of a hobby. Wait. I don’t have any hobbies. How pathetic is this? I don’t have a sex life and I don’t have any hobbies.”

Clark found that the brief moment of self pity had put a stop to his arousal. He was now standing unencumbered in front of Lana. She extended her hands and he held them.

”Hello, Clark. It’s so nice to see you again.”

He was speechless as he looked into her exotic eyes. A smile came to his face.

”Clark, you look like you’re having a much better day than the last time I saw you.”

Clark nodded his head. ”It’s not the day I’m worried about.” A little voice in the back of his mind told him to try humor.

”My mother made sure I was dressed properly.”

Lana gave a slight hint of a laugh. Then Clark became very aware that Lana had not moved forward to kiss him on the cheek. She let go of his hands and intertwined her arm with that of Chris Harrison. One of the attendants led Clark into the dining area while Lana and Harrison followed behind him.

Somerset and Wayne were waiting for Clark. They handed him a glass of champagne. Clark gulped down the champagne in one swallow. ”She didn’t kiss me. She kissed the others but she didn’t kiss me. I have a bad feeling about tonight. Why am I so nervous?” Clark felt his spirits sink.

**********

”Welcome, Gentlemen to our first Bachelorette Round Table dinner.”

The host stood in front of the room and explained the evening’s proceedings. It was intended that everyone would get to know one another with Lana witnessing the interactions. No one would have an advantage in having one to one time with the Bachelorette unless they somehow managed to get it on their own. At the end of the evening, based on whatever criteria she wanted, Lana would choose fifteen bachelors to remain out of the twenty. What had to be decided now was the seating position of the circular table.

Harrison held a large aluminum bowl in his hands. Inside the bowl were twenty folded pieces of paper with the numbers 1 – 20 on them. Each bachelor would choose a number that would decide where he sat in proximity to Lana. Number 1 sat immediately to Lana’s right. Number 2 sat immediately to her left. Numbers 19 and 20 sat directly across from Lana on the other side of the table. Numbers 9 and 11 sat in one corner at the 9 o’clock position. Numbers 10 and 12 sat in the other corner at the 3 o’clock position.

The order of drawing would be based on the order with which Lana chose the bachelors in the previous episode. Jason Teague would be the first to draw. Clark Kent would be the last.

Harrison with the bowl moved to Jason. All eyes were on Jason as he removed one of the slips of paper. He was about to unfold it when a strong breeze took the paper out of his hand and blew it across the table onto the floor. Jason, in a panic, ran to the other side of the table.

”Don’t touch that paper!”

He knelt down to pick it up when another strong breeze carried the paper across the room to one of the walls.

”Did somebody leave a window open?”

It was Harrison who asked the question as Jason ran across the room. Attendants began to check all of the windows and doors in the dining area. Once again the paper was within Jason’s reach as a breeze picked it up off the floor and blew it towards the ceiling where it hovered above his head and out of his reach. Jason stood below the paper, jumping up in the air, trying to unsuccessfully to take hold of it. Finally, the paper floated down into his hands.

Bruce Wayne watched the commotion along with everyone else. When the breeze ended and the paper floated down into Jason’s hands Wayne turned around and saw Clark standing behind him. Clark was standing with his hands in his pockets and his eyes looking up in the air and whistling as if he hadn’t been paying attention to what had just happened.

”Clark, do you know what why that just happened?”

Clark seemed to be forcing a smile back as he answered.

”I haven’t the slightest idea.”

Jason unfolded the paper and a broad smile came onto his face. He held the paper up in the air.

”Numero Uno!”

He moved quickly to his seat next to Lana at the table. The rest of the bachelors began to pull numbers from the bowl. Bruce Wayne pulled Number 2 and was seated immediately to the left of Lana. Russell Somerset pulled Number 19 was seated directly across the table. Michael Scott pulled number four and was seated next to Bruce Wayne. By chance, P Daddy Sugar and A.J. MacMurphy pulled numbers 10 and 12 respectively, and were seated next to each other at the three o’clock position. They high fived each other as they took their seats.

Finally, all the numbers had been pulled and all of the seats had been assigned with the exception of Clark and one seat. Seat #3 to the right of Jason Teague.

All of the bachelors were standing at their chairs. Lana was led by Harrison to her chair at the table. Everyone waited for Lana to be seated. Once she took her seat all of the men sat down. A. J. MacMurphy let out a yell.

”Let’s get ready to rumble!!!!”

**********

An army of attendants circled the table and filled empty wine glasses with champagne. Once all of the glasses were filled Russell Somerset got up from his chair and raised his glass.

”I’d like to propose a toast. To the lovely lady who we have the privilege of dining with tonight. I think I speak for every man here in saying that never have we basked in the presence of a brighter light. To Lana Lang!”

All of the bachelors stood up from their chairs, turned to face Lana, raised their glasses and drank down the champagne. As they sat down their glasses were immediately refilled. Bruce Wayne then stood up and raised his glass.

”I’d like to propose a toast. To all of the bachelors in this room. What is important is not who wins but that the winner be worthy of Ms. Lang.”

Again all of the bachelors got to their feet and drank down their champagne. They sat down and their glasses were refilled. This time Jason Teague stood up and raised his glass.

”I’d like to propose a toast.”

All eyes turned to Teague.

”I’d like to propose a toast to Clark Kent. He finally learned the lesson that my daddy taught me so long ago. – Clothes makes the man.”

No one stood up but there was some subdued laughter and a few snickers (not the candy) around the table. A few people repeated the toast. A smug smile appeared on Jason’s face as he drank his champagne. The smile disappeared from Lana’s face and she looked at Clark. ”Please, Clark. Don’t let him get away with that. Stand up for yourself.” Clark kept eyes down. He held his dinner knife in his hand and twirled it around in his fingers. Jason sat down feeling good about himself. Lana dropped her eyes in disappointment.

As the salad was about to be served Clark Kent took to his feet and raised his glass.

”I’d like to propose a toast.”

All eyes turned in Clark’s direction. Lana lifted up her head. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. Clark’s voice was clear and filled the room.

”A toast to Jason Teague. May he learn the lesson my late father taught me. – A monkey in silk………. is still a monkey.”

Broad smiles came to the faces of Russell Somerset and Bruce Wayne. Somerset let out a ‘here, here’. MacMurphy and Sugar stood up, threw back their heads and gulped down their drinks. Lana said nothing but moved her hand over her mouth to conceal the smile that appeared on her face.

The toasting was now over and the dinner proceeded. Small pockets of conversation picked up around the table. Lana, having Teague on her right and Wayne on her left divided her attention between both men. Clark was seated near the Italian racecar driver, Umberto Nicolini. Several times Lana tried to glance past Jason to listen in on Clark’s conversation but was unable to get by the personal barrier Jason had erected. But the one time she did catch part of the conversation between Nicolini and Clark her eyebrows lifted up in surprise. Clark was speaking Italian and speaking it fluently. Nicolini seemed very happy and animated and was waving his hands as he spoke. Jason tried to say something to Lana but she spoke over him to Clark and Nicolini.

”Clark, Umberto, what are you talking about?”

Nicolini explained that Clark had an extensive knowledge of automobile engines. Lana directed her next question to Clark.

”Where did you learn about automobiles, Clark?”

The last thing Clark wanted to say was that he had received an extensive technical education with Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude.

”It’s just something I picked from working on farm equipment when I was growing up on a farm.”

Jason remarked.

”Since when do they make Formula One tractors?”

Clark ignored the comment as did Lana. She then asked,

”Where did you learn to speak Italian, Clark?”

Clark didn’t want to say that he had learned a number of languages and dialects in his training in the Fortress of Solitude including many languages not spoken on Earth.

”I guess I eat a lot of pizza.”

Lana looked at Clark quizzically. He continued.

”I spend a lot of time in Little Italy in Metropolis.”

Lana laughed slightly at Clark’s answer and nodded her head in acceptance. ”If you eat a lot of pizza it certainly doesn’t show.”

The main part of the dinner had ended. Assorted cheeses and fruit along with port wine were being served to everyone. Conversations were no longer localized but were being heard by everyone. Lana spoke out.

”I noticed that you all came in groups as you arrived. What did you talk about while you were together?”

She looked at Michael Scott.

”Michael, what did you speak about?”

Scott looked like a dear caught the headlights.

”Me?”

“Yes. What did you and the bachelors you shared a ride with talk about on the way over here?”

“Talk?”

“Uh huh. Talk. I’m sure you must have had an interesting conversation.”

“Uh…Uh… We talked….We talked….We talked about stuff?”

“Stuff?”

“Yeah. Stuff.”

Lana turned her attention to P Daddy Sugar and A. J. MacMurphy who were having their own conversation and after a couple of hours of drinking were feeling no pain whatsoever.

”A.J., Sugar, what did you speak about?”

MacMurphy was giggling as he answered.

”Well…..basically….we were talking about…..breasts.”

Sugar burst out laughing and almost fell on the floor. Lana was speechless. Somerset saw his chance to interject.

”I’m sure that’s something that’s crossed the mind of every man here at least once in his lifetime. Perhaps Michael, that was some of the ‘stuff’ you were talking about.”

Lana and the group chuckled at Somerset’s comment. Lana was impressed by the skill with which he handled such an embarrassing moment. Somerset continued.

”We had a very interesting conversation.”

Lana asked.

”Really? What did you talk about?

“Superman and the Batman.”

Everyone began to stir and everyone’s ears picked up. Even the technical crews who manned the cameras became interested in the conversation.

”Well, what about them?”

“We just were analyzing the character of each man.”

Cash McCall threw out a comment.

”That Batman scares the Be Jesus out of me.”

Bruce Wayne responded.

”Why would you be scared of him?”

“Ah come on, man. He hangs out in the shadows. Comes sweeping down in the dark like some big, bleeding pterodactyl.”

Wayne looked hard at McCall.

”It seems to me that the only people who should be scared of the Batman are the people who have a reason to be scared of him.”

Now it was McCall’s turn to look hard at Wayne.

”What’s that suppose to mean, Wayne?”

“You tell me. You’re the one trembling in your boots at the thought a big pterodactyl swooping down and emptying your suit.”

An uncomfortable silence took hold of the room for several seconds. Then Clark’s voice was heard.

”I understand what the Batman is doing. I’m not sure I agree with his methods.”

Wayne responded.

”What is that suppose to mean?”

“We have laws and police and courts. The Batman seems to be circumventing the process and taking matters into his own hands.”

Wayne was becoming visibly agitated.

”What if the police and the courts have been corrupted? What if the law has been replaced by the dollar bill?”

“There has to be a better way.”

“We don’t have Clark Kent in Gotham City exposing corrupt politicians. Maybe you and Superman would like to pay us a visit some time. Maybe then you’ll see what it’s really like and you won’t be so quick to pontificate on the Batman’s methods.”

Another uncomfortable silence ensued. Bruce Wayne calmed down. He looked in Clark’s direction.

”I’m sorry, Clark. I didn’t mean to jump down your throat.”

A wide smile came to Clark’s face. In the face of Wayne’s unintentional tirade Clark had remained perfectly calm.

”It’s alright, Bruce. Disagreeing with me doesn’t threaten me.”

Lana Lang looked past Jason Teague and directly at Clark. A huge smile rose on her face at hearing Clark’s answer. Bruce Wayne became more comfortable and Russell Somerset continued the conversation. Soon everyone was speaking at the table. The men who were adversaries were now speaking in a passionate but respectable manner. Lana couldn’t help but think that it was Clark’s confident response that put everyone at ease. Lana’s gaze at Clark was broken when she felt something on her leg.

Underneath the table Jason had placed his hand on top of Lana’s thigh.

Coffee was being served and everyone was engaged in separate conversations about Superman and the Batman. Clark was looking from person to person and his eyes came upon Lana. Her face was stiff and her lips were tightly pressed. Her smile had disappeared. He noticed her right arm move. Clark activated his X-ray vision and looked through the table. Jason Teague’s left hand was on Lana Lang’s right leg and she was pushing his hand away. ”Why you son of a …!” Clark quickly scanned the table and the cameras to make sure that no one was focused on him. He briefly lowered his eyeglasses and shot out a small flash of heat into Teague’s coffee cup that briefly caused the liquid to bubble.

Jason’s facial expression never changed as Lana pushed his hand off her leg. He placed his hands on the table. He saw the coffee in front of him. He nonchalantly picked up the cup and took a sip.

”Ah!!!!!!”

Teague spit out the coffee from his mouth. The cup dropped from his hand and the hot coffee spilled into his lap. He let out another scream as he jumped up from the table.

”The coffee!!! Hot!!!!!”

He looked at one of the attendants.

”You idiot! You served me scalding hot coffee!”

Clark picked up his cup and drank from it.

”Mine’s fine. In fact, it’s perfect.”

The other bachelors around the table sampled their coffee. No one found a problem. Jason was led from the room to see if he acquired medical attention. This left Jason’s seat empty. There was no longer a barrier between Clark and Lana. Lana turned her attention to Bruce Wayne but thought, ”Please, Clark. Get up and take Jason’s seat and sit next to me. Please, don’t just sit there like a lump on a log.” Clark remained motionless and looking straight ahead. He was very aware of the empty seat between him and Lana. ”Should I move into Jason’s chair? I may be wasting my time. After all she didn’t kiss me like she did the others. Why am I having so much trouble making a decision?” Clark sat for a few more seconds and then decided he had nothing to lose by moving into the seat. He was about to move when he saw that Umberto Nicolini was standing behind the empty chair and was about to sit next to Lana. Clark was about to curse himself when he noticed that Russell Somerset had quickly moved from the other end of the table and had intercepted Nicolini.

”Signor Nicolini I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about racecar driving. I have a role coming up in a few months and I could use some firsthand information.”

“Oh! Of course. Perhaps we can talk later.”

“Well they say there’s no time like the present.”

Somerset was in Nicolini’s personal space and forcing him to move back to his seat. As Somerset crossed behind Clark he quickly tapped Clark on the shoulder to get his attention towards the still empty seat. Clark slightly moved his head to look behind him to see that Somerset was still moving Nicolini away from the empty chair. Clark had the sudden realization that Somerset was running interference for him and that if he didn’t move NOW someone was going to seize the opportunity. Clark slid over into the seat next to Lana. Nicolini was back in his old seat and Somerset was now seated in Clark seat and asking questions about Formula 1 automobiles.

”Whew!” Lana breathed a sigh of relief. Lana excused herself from Bruce Wayne, explaining that she hadn’t spoken to Clark all night. Wayne turned his attention to Michael Scott. Lana turned her attention to Clark.

Continued Below

[oldmankent]

”Hi, Clark.”

He responded with a “Hi Lana” and they began to chat. Lana found that she needed to move her feet against each other in order to slip off her shoes. She flexed her toes as she struggled to keep from staring into Clark’s eyes. She found that unconsciously she was leaning her body towards him like steel towards a magnet.

”Well, are you going to take Bruce up on his offer and go to Gotham City to find out more about the Batman?”

“I’m tempted to but if I do I’ll do it for myself. I used to work for the Daily Planet but I resigned the other day.”

Clark stopped for a moment. ”Perry White doesn’t seem to think I resigned.” Lana was relieved that Clark had brought up the subject and not her.

”Why did you resign?”

“The paper wanted to give me an assignment that didn’t sit right with me. The choice was to do it or leave. So I left.”

“What will you do now?”

“Oh. I don’t know. I can always go back to farming if I have to.”

The conversation then switched to Clark’s childhood and what it was like to grow up on a farm.

”When you gave your toast you mentioned your ‘late’ father.”

Clark nodded his head.

”He died from a heart attack right after I graduated from high school. He died in my arms.”

“Oh, Clark. I’m so sorry.”

Clark spoke softly.

”All my po….”

He stopped before he completed his sentence.

”And I couldn’t even help him.”

Lana heard Clark stop. She wonder what he meant by ”All my po…” She placed her hand on his arm.

”I’m sure you did all you could.”

Clark looked at the delicate hand that was resting on his arm. Most of the bachelors around the table were looking at the hand that was on his arm. For a moment both Clark and Lana were unaware that there were other people in the room. Lana gave his arm a slight squeeze. Clark was about to put his hand on top of Lana’s. His heart was beating rapidly.

”Hey buddy. You’re in my seat.”

Both Clark and Lana looked up to see Jason standing near them with an angry look on his face. His swollen mouth seemed to be slicked over with an ointment and he was walking gingerly. They were also surprised that they had unconsciously moved into each other and their arms and legs were leaning against each other.

Clark had no intention of moving. Lana didn’t want Clark to move. Would the conflict that the producers sought about to happen? Jason was about to continue when Chris Harrison interrupted.

”I’m afraid the dinner has come to an end. It’s time for Ms. Lang to withdraw so that she can make her decision on which fifteen bachelors will stay and which five will go.”

Lana stood up and all of the men rose with her. She walked with Harrison into a separate room to make her decision. The bachelors rose from the table and congregated into their separate groups.

**********

Lana was standing in the great room of the mansion. By her side was a pedestal holding fifteen long stemmed roses. She started to call one name after another.

Jason Teague

Bruce Wayne

Russell Somerset

Twenty became fifteen. Fifteen became ten. Ten became six.

”Clark.”

Clark walked forward with more confidence than the first time but still feeling humble that he had been chosen.

Lana held the rose out to him. Then remembering Clark’s conversation with Umberto Nicolini , she spoke in Frencg.

”Clark, will you accept this rose ?”

Clark answered,

”Oui.”

He took the rose from Lana’s hand. Lana wanted to kiss him on his mouth but held herself back. She was certain that he just answered ‘yes’ in French because that was the obvious answer. ”Oui is probably the only French he knows.” But as he took hold of the rose he continued…..in French

”I accept it with all of my heart.”

**********

End of Chapter Eight

[maitriniazngurl]

AMAZING STORY!!

I just stopped by for a peak of whats going on and I caught this story. I just finished and I cannot wait for the next update. Please update soon. I can't wait to find out what happens between them.

[LetMeGo]

I thought Clark was going to lose his chance for a second! Their conversations about Batman and Superman are great, I love both Bruce and Clark's reactions.

[The Black Cat]

Amazing new chapters!!! PPMS!!!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Nine

”Perception is reality.”

The episode was edited for content and for time and then broadcast for one hour the following Monday night. Out of everything that had happened during the evening what was shown to the viewing public was the following:

The bachelors exiting their limousines and entering the Bachelorette Mansion.
The selection of numbers from the bowl (excluding the unexplained wind in the mansion) and each bachelor being seated at the table.
Russell Lang dedicating a toast to Lana Lang and Bruce Wayne dedicating a toast to the bachelors.
The heated exchange regarding Batman and Clark’s calming influence.
Jason’s accident with his coffee and his leaving the table.
Clark taking Jason’s seat at the table.
Lana talking with Clark and placing her hand on his arm.
The selection of the fifteen remaining bachelors.

Excluding commercials, the entire episode lasted forty two minutes.

Lois Lane watched the episode in her apartment with Perry White and Jimmy Olsen. Oliver Queen was conspicuous by his absence. Neither Perry nor Jimmy brought this up to Lois. They had witnessed the way she turned away Oliver’s overtures at the Daily Planet. Was this the end of Lois and Oliver? They didn’t know but common sense told them to let sleeping dogs lie.

While watching the show it became obvious to the trio that a great deal had been left out of the final version. Fifteen minutes into the hour the bachelors were just being seated at the dinner table. Thirty minutes later the main courses had been served and everyone was eating dessert. Perry wondered out loud.

”I wonder how much of what happened we actually get to see?”

Lois answered.

”My cousin, Chloe, works in the business. I haven’t spoken to her in a long time but she once told me that in the reality-type programs we see about 25% of what was actually filmed.”

They were watching the incident where Jason Teague burnt his mouth and had to leave the table and Lana comforted Clark about his father’s death. This only confirmed in Perry’s mind his newfound belief that Clark was a Casanova Extraordinaire.

”Well I’ll be doggone. Clark is as smooth as silk. Look at the way he moved in there and the way the Bachelorette is looking at him.”

“Perry, Clark is looking at Lana the same way she’s looking at him.”

“Ah! That’s just some fancy-schmancy camera work. How do we know that’s not just a cut and paste job? Look at him. Clark even speaks French. Parlez vous a humma humma? We’re only seeing the tip of the Clark Kent iceberg.”

Perry’s response caused Lois to recall something she had learned early in her career as a reporter. ”People see what they want to see.” This lesson taught her that very often one eyewitness was not enough for a thorough story.

Lois thought differently than her boss. She thought she had seen something that Perry White didn’t see or didn’t want to see.

In telling Lana of his father’s death, Clark Kent had voluntarily revealed a part of himself to Lana Lang.

As Lois continued to watch what was taking place between Clark and Lana she closed her eyes. She saw Oliver Queen’s face in front of her. She felt his strong but smooth hands running over her body. She felt his warm breath on her neck. Lois felt her insides getting warm. She moved her head back as her imaginary lover began to take possession of her body.

”Lois?”

The warmth that had started in one small, private area was now cascading throughout her body underneath her skin.

”Lois?”

Her tension was rhythmically building. She was close. She was very close.

”Lois!”

Lois bolted upright in her seat as her eyes burst open.

”What? What?”

Perry and Jimmy had moved away from Lois to the other side of the room like two frightened children trying to get away from the bogeyman. Perry spoke for the two of them.

”Jeez Lois. When you invited us here tonight I didn’t think we would be coming to Lois’ House of the Rising Sun.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Lois, you dozed off and I guess you were dreaming of…..dreaming of…..You know!”

“What?”

Jimmy spoke up.

”Lois, you were about to have the Big O.”

“I was?”

Both men nodded their heads. Lois’ face scrunched up. She closed her eyes for a moment and then tears burst down her face as she yelled like a small child who had a major boo boo.

”I miss Oliver!”

Lois shuddered as she cried uncontrollably. Jimmy moved away from Perry to sit down next to Lois. He was about to place his arms around her to comfort her when Perry stopped him.

”No! No! Jimmy, don’t touch her! Don’t put your arms around her!”

“Why not?”

“Oh, Jimmy. You’re asking for trouble. If you put your arms around her she’ll start telling you all kinds of things. Things you don’t want to hear and couldn’t possibly understand. Woman things. Believe me. I know. I was married. This stuff will drive you nuts. You’re opening a Pandora’s Box that you’ll never be able to close.”

“But Chief, Lois is my friend.”

Perry was about to get on his knees and beg Jimmy not to touch Lois but it was too late. Jimmy sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Her crying slowed and she leaned into the photographer.

”Thanks, Jimmy. You’re a good friend. No one knows what it’s like. No one knows what I go through.”

“I’m here, Lois. You can tell me.”

Perry felt like punching a brick wall. ”Oh no! Why’d he have to say that?”

Jimmy had given Lois his handkerchief and she was dabbing her eyes.

”You don’t know what it’s like to be made love to night after night by a man who’s all …all…you know.”

“Huh?”

“To feel him inside of you. Moving slowly. Up and down. Down and up. In and out. Out and in. Deeper and deeper. Oh! So slow! So smooth! Reaching places that your mother never told you about.”

“Lois, I really don’t think you should be telling me this.”

Perry stood in a corner of the room and was banging his head against the wall. ”I told him not to touch her. I told him. I told him. Did he listen to me? Noooo! Nobody listens to Perry White.”

“His hands moving over you. Knowing exactly where to touch you. Arousing feelings that you never knew existed. The heat and hunger building inside of you until you can’t stand it anymore.”

“Lois, maybe we should talk about something else.”

“You hold onto him as tight as you can. Wanting him closer. Deeper. Wanting him to become a part of you. Wanting to become a part of him. Moving together as one. You are one.”

“So who did you vote for?”

“You grab onto him. You’re a bomb about to go off. Tick…Tick…Tick. Your hips buckle.”

“I voted for Obama.”

“You explode…and explode….and explode. Like lava from a volcano. Ecstasy coming and going. Colored lights going and coming. Wanting it to never end. Do you know what it’s like to feel like that?”

Jimmy Olsen was speechless and red in the face. Perry White’s voice filled the room.

”The last explosion I had was when I finally let loose in the men’s room after being constipated for two weeks. I thought the Daily Planet was going to have to be evacuated.”

Lois was startled out of her confession. She and Jimmy looked at Perry. Both scowled as an indescribable image was burned into their imaginations. Both spoke at the same time.

”Thanks for sharing that with us, Chief.”

**********

Oliver Queen’s loft apartment had a large screen HD television set up in the middle of the room. A nearby table was set up with food, beer and liquor. His elevator opened and a group of young men in their mid to late twenties began to enter his living area. Oliver greeted each one at the elevator. Each exchanged a secret handshake only known to members of their college fraternity.

”Hey Bo.”

“Hey Oliver.”

“Hey Smitty.”

“Oliver! My man!”

“Hey Chico.”

“Yo Oliver!”

“Hey Luke.”

“Hey Dude! Where’s the beer?”

Oliver and the four men gathered around the table. Food was furiously scooped up and gobbled down. Shots of tequila were poured and the five men raised their glasses. Bo spoke.

”This is a great idea, Oliver. A Veronika Zemanova film festival. We needed a reason to get together. I can think of no better reason than to experience Veronika in high definition unless it’s in person. Here’s to Oliver!”

The five men threw back their heads and swallowed their drinks. A collective ‘ah’ was heard. The glasses were refilled. Plates were filled with chips, pizza and Buffalo wings. Ice cold cans of beer were popped open. The men sat in front of the television. Chico spoke.

”Okay man. Turn her on. I need my daily Zemanova fix.”

The four visitors began to chant loudly.

”VER…RO….NI…KA! VER…RO…NI….KA!”

Oliver turned on the television. The Bachelorette program came into view. Everyone was waiting for Oliver to change to a Veronika Zemanova video. Instead he kept watching The Bachelorette. Luke spoke up.

”Oliver, what are you doing?”

“I’m watching The Bachelorette.”

All heads turned towards Oliver. His friends didn’t understand what they were hearing. Luke responded.

“You’re what?”

“It’s only on for an hour.”

“Hey Oliver. I came here to drink beer, eat fattening food and watch Veronika do all sorts of wonderful things with that wonderful body of her’s. I didn’t come here to watch The Bachelor-bloody-ette!”

The four men began a louder repeat of their chant.

”VER…RO….NI…KA! VER…RO…NI….KA!”

Oliver shouted out over the chant.

”Hey! Cut it out! We’ll get to her. I want to see how my friend, Clark, does it.”

The four men grew silent and huddled closer to Oliver. Smitty asked.

”Does what?”

“Clark…He’s like…the king. He’s got this girl, Lana, eating out of his hands.”

The men focused on the television and saw Lana Lang for the first time. Their collective breaths were taken away at their first glance of the petite brunet and each man gasped.

”Whoa! That’s the Bachelorette?”

Oliver nodded his head as he responded.

“Uh huh.”

“And this dude, Clark, has got her eating out of his hands?”

“Yep.”

“What did he do?”

“He gave her a SNICKERS bar.”

Smitty spoke up and his face took on an expression of excitement.

”Oh yeah! I heard about that. All the women in my office are getting boxes of SNICKERS bars from their husbands and boyfriends. It makes them happy and pisses them off at the same time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, they’re happy they got the candy but then they say that if they eat it they’ll get fat and that pisses them off.”

Bo spoke quietly to Oliver.

”What’s the problem, man? We’ve been friends a long time. You can tell me anything. Why are you really watching this show?”

“I thought maybe I could pick up something from Clark. He seems to have a way with this woman. I’m hoping I can pick up something that will help me with Lois.”

“Is Lois giving you a hard time?”

Oliver rolled his eyes upwards.

“She won’t talk to me.”

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!”

Seeing that his friend didn’t believe him, Oliver stopped, dropped his eyes and spoke underneath his breath.

”I had a little too much to drink and I thought we were going to have sex. She thought otherwise.”

“Whoa! You didn’t force yourself on her, did you?”

“No I would never do that. Basically I wanted to have sex and she wanted to have a conversation.”

“Yeah. I know what you mean. It’s like sunspots.”

“Sunspots?”

“Yeah. Sunspots. You never know when it’s going to happen and there’s nothing you can do about it when they do happen and they make a mess out of everything and you just have to ride it out.”

“Yeah but this time I really FUBARed.”

“Really? You Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition?”

“Yeah. I FUBARed big time!”

“So kiss and make up. Did you do the single rose and the dozen rose George S. Patton double envelopment?”

“Yep. It didn’t work.”

“How about the Gene Pitney singing telegram?”

“That didn’t work either. I even tried to get David Cook from American Idol to do it but he was booked. I don’t know what else to do.”

“Oliver, you need to start drinking heavily.”

“I did that but it only makes me think of Lois.”

Oliver started speaking softly as if his body was in his apartment but his mind was somewhere else.

”Her body glistening in the moonlight coming through the window of my bedroom. The sweat dripping between the valley her heaving …..”

Bo interrupted him.

”Don’t start speaking about Lois like that, Oliver. Luke will pull down his pants and start pleasuring himself in front of everyone. You know what a horn dog he is.”

Overhearing the last remark by Bo, Luke responded.

”Up yours, man!”

Bo responded back.

“Up your’s man?’ You’ve got a degree from an Ivy League school and that’s the extent of your vocabulary. That and ‘where’s the beer?’ Luke, everyone knows about you. When you heard that Oliver was going to show Veronika Zemanova videos you even brought a change of underwear with you tonight. Didn’t you?”

Luke’s non-response was enough of an answer. Bo continued to talk to Oliver.

“Did you do the Dean Martin Rat Pack maneuver?”

“Yep. Didn’t work.”

Again overhearing the conversation, Luke interrupted the two friends.

”I told you, man. screw Dean Martin. You should have used Led Zeppelin. Led Zeppelin always gets them.”

Oliver now turned his attention to Luke.

””Luke, what do you know about women? You’re five feet four inches tall and two hundred and twenty pounds of solid mush. You’re lucky you test video games for a living. As far as anyone knows you’ve never even been on a date.”

“I’ve been with plenty of women!”

“How many did you not have to pay for?”

Luke dropped his eyes and didn’t answer. The men watched the entire episode. They witnessed Clark and Lana’s interaction and were speechless at the end for a few minutes. Finally Chico broke the silence.

”Wow! He’s good, man. What was that? French?”

Everyone nodded in agreement. Smitty spoke.

”I bet there was some action going on underneath that table.”

Everyone turned towards Smitty and started asking him questions as if he were the enlightened Dali Lama.

“What do you mean?”

“I bet if Superman were there with those X-ray peepers of his, he’d look right through that table and see that Clark’s and Lana’s hands were exploring the far reaches of the galaxy.”

The men ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ at the remark. Smitty continued.

”One thing’s for certain. If Lana’s hand was on Clark’s leg….They’re doing it.”

Everyone gasped. Luke began to lick his lips.

”Really? You think so? Already? According to Oliver they just met last week for the first time.”

“Absolutely. It’s a fact. If a woman keeps her hand on the man’s leg underneath the table it means they’re getting it on. In fact, she can hardly wait to get it. It’s kind of like a dog peeing to mark its territory. She’s saying this here leg and every other body part is hers for the taking. Go ahead and look it up. You all saw the way she was leaning into him. Her hand was definitely on his leg and they have gone to the Promised Land.”

Their jaws dropped in awe. All five men were silent as if they were sitting in the presence of greatness. After a few minutes Luke turned to Oliver.

”Do you think your friend, Clark, would help me get a girl?”

***********

Lana and Chloe watched the edited version of The Bachelorette together in Lana’s living quarters. Afterwards Lana commented on the final version.

”I never realized that so much was edited out of the final version.”

“Lana, your actual dinner lasted three hours. We can only air forty two minutes. The remainder of the hour is for commercials.”

Lana nodded her head in understanding. Chloe had spent a great deal of time with Lana and she liked Lana. She felt that she had established a certain level of trust with Lana. She decided to kick it up a notch.

”Lana, can I ask you a personal question?”

Lana was surprised at the seriousness of Chloe’s expression. She liked Chloe and felt she could trust her to a certain extent.

”You can ask.”

“Why did you choose Jason Teague?”

Lana nodded her head at hearing the question. She had expected it. She was sure that this was the question many people had on their minds since Lana’s appearance on The Bachelor six months earlier.

”I guess a lot of people are asking that question. I’m not really sure myself. I chose him in the first episode because if I didn’t choose him everyone would think it would be payback for what he did to me in the final episode of The Bachelor. I don’t want people to think that I’m that shallow. I’m not a vengeful person. I am capable of forgiving and forgetting and giving people a second chance.”

Chloe nodded her head in understanding and was not disappointed in the answer. It was the type of answer she expected from a person with Lana Lang’s strength of character. Lana continued.

”I chose him in the second episode because of his accident at the dinner table. The poor guy not only burnt his mouth but almost lost his manhood when the hot tea spilled into his lap.”

“Yeah. I wonder how that happened.”

“I don’t know but I thought he deserved a break for that. Even if he was a little too free with his hands.”

“What do you mean?”

“Underneath the table Jason placed his hand on my leg as if he assumed I was his girlfriend.”

“Really? What did you do?”

“I didn’t want to make a scene so I just pushed it away. I have to give him credit. He’s as cool as a cucumber. He never even flinched. I think Jason has to learn some manners. He’s very confident. But sometimes confidence easily crosses the line into arrogance. I think Jason could learn a thing or two from Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset.”

Chloe noticed that Lana did not mention Clark Kent’s name.

”Only Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset?”

A large smile grew on Lana’s face. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs while resting her chin on the top of her knees.

”I was wondering when you were going to ask me about Clark Kent.”

“Well?”

“Is it that obvious that I like him?”

“Yeah! It’s about as clear as the nose on your face.”

“Clark is…is….different. He’s not like everyone else. He’s…. special.”

“How is he different?”

“I can’t put my finger on it, Chloe. He is so reserved. Almost like he’s trying to conceal himself from the world. You can see it in the way he carries himself. He’s this big, tall, handsome guy who tries to hide the fact that he’s a big, tall, handsome guy. I think sometimes he purposely avoids looking at me. Like he doesn’t want to look me in the eye. Like he’s almost afraid. But then it seems he knows the perfect moment to look me in the eye and then he does and it’s….Oh God! I don’t believe I’m talking like this.”

Lana started to giggle and she buried her face into her knees. She lifted up her head and looked at Chloe.

”I really like him.”

Chloe was happy for Lana. When they first met it appeared that Lana was just going through the motions for the show. Now it appeared that her feelings had changed.

”Did he tell you what he does for a living?”

“Yes, he did. But I already knew beforehand. My parents told me.”

“Your parents?”

“Yeah. It’s a long story. Evidently he was a reporter for the Daily Planet but he quit his job. He didn’t get into the specifics as to why and I didn’t ask him. Clark strikes me as the type of guy who gives out information about himself when he’s ready. So I didn’t push it.”

“The Daily Planet? I have a cousin who works there. I haven’t spoken to her in a long time. Maybe I should give her a call and she if she knows something.”

Lana nodded her head in agreement. Chloe continued.

”I have one more question to ask you.”

“Yes?”

“What kind of action was going on underneath the table between you and Clark?”

Lana acted startled but was actually amused by the question.

”Chloe! Action under the table?”

“Come on, Lana. If the dinner lasted another five minutes you would have been sitting in his lap. What was happening underneath the table?”

“I’ll tell you what was happening. Absolutely nothing. Clark is a perfect gentleman.”

“Nothing? He didn’t place his hand on your leg like Jason did?”

“No. He didn’t. He kept his hands to himself and I kept my hands to myself.”

There was a moment of silence between the two women. Chloe spoke again.

”Lana, what if Clark did put his hand on your leg like Jason did? Would you have pushed Clark away?”

Lana took a moment to form her answer and then looked Chloe in the eyes.

”I’m not telling.”

**********

Clark looked deeply into Lana’s large exotic eyes. The music of Ravel’s Bolero was playing in the background.

Author’s Note: The actual music can be found here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-4J5j74VPw.

”I’ve never felt like this before.”

They were standing in the bedroom of his apartment in Metropolis. Lana whispered his name.

”Clark…I want you….Now.”

Lana moved out of his embrace. She backed up towards his King-sized bed. She pulled off the bedspread and rolled back the sheet. She turned and looked at Clark. Lana was wearing a black mini-dress that hugged her every curve. Just giving a hint of what could be possessed by the right man at the right moment. Clark was the right man and that moment was now. Her neck was bare and her chest was covered with just enough fabric to leave something to the imagination. There was just a touch of perspiration at the nape of her neck. A dampness not caused by the temperature in the room.

”I know you want me, Clark.”

“I do. Since the first moment I saw you I’ve wanted to be here with you like this.”

Lana moved her right arm behind her back. She took hold of the short zipper on the back of her dress. She pulled the zipper downward. Clark didn’t need his super hearing to hear the slow ‘click, click, click’ as the teeth of zipper parted. He swallowed hard. The unzipping ceased and Lana moved her hand back to her front. She then crossed her chest with her arms and took hold of the slim shoulder straps of her dress. She slipped the straps off her smooth shoulders. Clark was mesmerized by the vision in front of him. The straps fell off Lana’s shoulders and the top of her dress fell to her waist. Clark gasped as he gazed at the almost unclothed Lana Lang standing before him. Even in his dreams he had not imagined that she could be so beautiful, so compelling. He never imagined that he could be so consumed with her. She then moved her hands over her hips and pushed downward while she moved her hips in a circular motion to get the narrow waist of the dress past her hips. The dress ran down her stockingless legs. She let it go and it pooled at her feet. For the first time Clark noticed that Lana was without any apparel underneath the dress. His mouth went dry. He felt the heat building inside of him. Lana stepped out of the pooled garment lying on the floor and then out of her high heels. First the right foot then the left. The shoes fell over on the carpeted floor. She shook her head so that her carefully coiffed hair loosened and flowed over her shoulders and down her bare back. She moved towards Clark. Her hands reached up for his shoulders and moved his suit jacket off him. It dropped behind him at his feet. Her toes were curling in the plush carpet underneath her feet. Clark pulled at his tie and broke apart the knot. He threw his tie behind him. He was about to unbutton his shirt but Lana stopped him.

”No. Let me do that.”

Lana reached for the buttons of his shirt. Clark thought she would rip the shirt off him. Instead she carefully and slowly unclasped each button. One by one. Until they were all undone. Her eyes never left his. He was breathing rapidly and the anticipation was building inside of him. It had been building since he first picked her up earlier in the evening. It had been building as they sat next to each other at dinner that ended with each one feeding the other a light, delicate chocolate dessert. It had been building as they took the elevator up to his apartment. The buildup was almost over. Clark had become the Mount Vesuvius of desire. The volcano was about to erupt.

Clark stood paralyzed. Experiencing sensations that he never knew existed. Lana unbuckled the belt around his waist and pulled the tail of his shirt out of his pants. She then pealed his shirt off his chest and down his back. The buttoned ends of his sleeves caught at Clark’s wrists. Instead of unbuttoning the sleeves like she did the front of his shirt Lana pulled down strongly on his sleeves until the shirt was forced off his arms. Lana displayed a strength born out of impatience. Out of a desire that needed immediate fulfillment. A fulfillment that only Clark could provide. As with Clark it had been building for her all evening. From the moment she opened her door to receive him to the moment when she took his hand and led him into the bedroom. She moved closer and ran her hands up Clark’s chest. Her mouth was slightly opened and she moistened her full lips with the tip of her tongue.

”I’ve waited so long for this.”

Clark moved closer to Lana and wrapped his hands around her tiny waist. The curve of her waist excited him in a way he never thought was possible. Her skin was so soft. So smooth. So warm. So inviting. Lana molded into him so that they were chest to chest. Her soft bare flesh against his solid muscle. Her stomach trembled against his expanding manhood. His skin tingled with the sensation of having her so close. Her arms moved underneath his and came up behind his shoulders. Pulling him down to her. He moved his head downward as she stood on her toes and moved her head upward. Their foreheads touched. Their lips were separated by the slim sliver of their own breath.

”Love me, my darling.”

Clark’s mouth was almost on hers. He whispered in her ear.

”But first you must know everything. There will be no secrets from you, Lana.”

She looked into his eyes and smiled. She moved her hand to touch his face. He moved his face to kiss the palm of her hand. He breathed in her scent. She whispered back.

”Tell me, my love. Tell me everything.”

Clark brought his hand up and felt the extraordinary silkiness of her hair. His heart now belonged to her. He would hide….nothing. He spoke slowly.

”Lana, I’ve never done this before. I’ve never loved…a woman.”

He felt Lana’s hold loosen. She pushed away from him. She looked like she was trying to speak but was having difficulty in finding the words.

”You’ve never…never made love to a woman. What are you telling me? That you like men?”

“No!”

“Boys?”

“No! No!”

“Inflatable dolls? Sheep? A jar of warm Marshmallow Fluff?”

“No! No! No! Lana, I’m trying to tell you that I’ve never done this before. This is my first time with anyone.”

Lana was silent for a few moments as if she was processing what she had just heard. A smirk formed on her face.

”Are you trying to tell me that you’re a virgin?”

Clark swallowed, dropped his eyes and nodded his head. Lana’s voice changed from soft to assertive.

”The almighty Superman has never had sex?”

“Lana, don’t talk that way.”

“You have the body of a Greek god and the equipment the size of a Trident submarine but you’ve never fired your torpedoes?”

“Lana!”

“You’ve been mothballed like an obsolete battleship?”

“Please, Lana. Don’t….”

Lana moved backwards and increased the distance between herself and Clark. Clark struggled to find the right words. He held his arms out to her.

”Lana, please….”

“I’ve had my choice of the most eligible bachelors in the world. I’ve chosen you to love and now you’re telling me that you have all to know how of a pimply faced, pocket protected, bow tied, short sleeved, high school geek! Jor-El gave you all of the knowledge of the twenty eight known galaxies but he somehow forgot about Health 101!”

“Lana! Please! You’re the only person I’ve ever revealed myself to!”

Lana laughed at Clark.

”Well that’s about to change.”

She moved to the window of his bedroom and opened it. She moved her head outside the window and shouted out.

”Hey Metropolis! Guess what? Superman is a virgin! He’s never made it with a woman before! What do you think about that, Metropolis? What do you think about that, world?”

Lana continued to shout over and over. The windows of the buildings surrounding Clark’s apartment were opening. People were coming to their windows to hear what was being shouted. They started repeating the same mantra. Then laughter began to fill the air. Laughter directed at Clark. Laughter directed at Superman.

The laughter built to a crescendo. Clark put his hands to his ears but could not block it out. He ran out of his bedroom to his living area. His television mysteriously turned on and the sound was blasting in his apartment.

”Welcome to the Tonight Show with Jay Leno”

Leno came out from behind a curtain and went into his opening monologue.

”Hey! So did you hear the one about Superman being a virgin?”

Clark grabbed his remote control and tried to turn off the television. Instead the channel changed. David Letterman was now on the screen.

”Okay. Here are my ten top reasons why Superman is still a virgin. Number 10….”

The station changed again. This time Jimmy Kimmel was showing a video with Sarah Silverman. She was singing.

”Superman’s not doing Matt Damon!”

Clark again tried to turn off the television but again only the channel changed.

”Hello. This is FOX News and I’m Bill O’Reilly in the No Spin Zone. My Talking Points for tonight – Superman has never gotten it on with a woman and why this is important to the American taxpayer.”

Clark crushed the remote control in hand. He moved to the blaring television, picked it up and threw it through the wall of his apartment. Instead of ending the broadcast the hole in the wall opened a pipeline to all of the televisions in his apartment building and throughout the city. The same broadcasts were echoing through the building. Clark’s only hope was to escape. He opened the door of his apartment.

Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen and Perry White were standing outside.

They pointed at Clark and laughed.

”I thought you were the King! You’re not even a Prince. You’re not even good enough to be a Pauper!”

“And I wanted your leftovers! Something from nothing leaves nothing!”

“Yeah! It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for! All they do is look!”

Clark’s head was spinning. The soft music of Revel’s Bolero had changed to another tune.

”It hurts to be in love when the only one you love
Turns out to be someone…

Who’s not in love with you.”

Author’s Note: The actual tune can be found here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxK9kRNc1wQ.

Clark covered his ears with his hands and screamed.

He bolted up the bed in his hotel room. He was covered in sweat and hyperventilating. The clock radio on the bedside table was playing a tune from an oldies radio station.

”And so you cry a little bit
To be in love.
Ah die a little bit
To be in love.
Day and night
Night and day
It hurts to be in love this way.”

Clark placed his hand on top of the radio. Instead of turning it to OFF he pressed downward and the radio exploded like a popped paper bag.

Clark was sitting up in his bed. Rays of light from the sunrise were just beginning to fill the room. His breathing was returning to normal. He looked around the room. He wasn’t in his apartment in Metropolis. He was in his hotel room in Honolulu.

”It was so real.”

As the nightmare cleared from his head Clark’s thoughts drifted back to the dinner and to Bruce Wayne’s toast.

”I’d like to propose a toast. To all of the bachelors in this room. What is important is not who wins but that the winner be worthy of Ms. Lang.”

He shook his head as he moved out of bed.

”I’m not even in the same league as Lana Lang.”

A cacophony of voices began to fill his head.

”That’s right you’re not in the same league but Superman certainly is.”

“But I’m not Superman. I mean I am Superman but I’m not Superman all the time.”

“Well, who are you the rest of the time?”

“I’m Clark Kent. I think.”

“You think? What about Kal-El?”

“Well…yeah. I’m Kal-El too.”

“So you’re Kal-El, Clark Kent and Superman. Got anyone else hiding in there? Maybe Norman Bate’s mommy?”

“Stop it!”

Clark’s thoughts drifted back to the conversation in the limousine and to Somerset’s words.

”But the thing is if Superman ever did fall in love the emotion would be overwhelming for him.”

The deluge of emotion would sweep over him. His life would undergo a paradigm shift. He would look at everything and everyone differently.

He would experience a happiness he never felt before and he would be miserable. Everything at the same time. He would feel enormously confused and conflicted.

With a love interest I can now portray him as someone on the razor’s edge of insanity. A superhero who is slowly losing his mind.”

Clark shook his head hoping that Somerset’s words would be tossed out of his mind. Clark stood up at attention. He closed his eyes and spoke slowly.

”I am Kal-El, the last son of Krypton. I have embraced my destiny as guardian of this planet.

I am not losing my mind!!!”

The image of Lana’s face appeared before his mind’s eye. A smile came to his face and he felt calm. She placed her hand on his arm and all was right with the world. Then his eyes shot open.

”No! No! No! This can’t be happening!”

Once again a chorus of conflicting voices entered echoed in his mind.

”Clark, what’s the big deal? You’ve known girls before.”

“Yeah, well not in the Biblical sense of the word.”

“Alright. Alright. You’ve dated girls before. Remember high school. Remember Alicia Baker.”

“That was different.”

“What was different?”

“Alicia was….blonde.”

“Oh give me a break! She wanted you the night she came up to your loft. She was ready and you were ready. Why’d you chicken out? What was it that you told her?”

“I told her that I had ordered Pay Per View for the Ultimate Fighting Championship and I didn’t want to lose my money.”

“Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And you didn’t even have cable. That was some trade off. Kissing off your first close encounter with a hot, blonde beauty who was dripping ready to take you to a galaxy far, far away in exchange for watching two heavily tattooed imbeciles kicking the crap out of each other. And this is the guy who makes life and death decisions for the human race everyday. What sane person does something like that?”

“It wasn’t only that.”

“Well, what was it? She was a natural blonde.”

“I could see that but I wasn’t in love with Alicia.”

“What difference does that make?”

“I wasn’t that kind of guy. I know she didn’t care. I was a big football hero and she was the most popular girl in school. Everything seemed like a perfect fit. But it wasn’t. And I wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation just because our hormones were in overdrive. I wasn’t that kind of a guy. I still not that kind of a guy.”

“And what if it was Lana Lang who came up your loft, stripped off her skimpy cheerleader outfit, spread herself out on your sofa in front of you and begged you to bring your ship into her port? Would you still cut out for Pete Ross’ house and the Rockem Sockem Robots?”

Clark was silent. The inquisitor inside his head continued.

”Hello! Knock, knock. Anybody home? Come out. Come out wherever you are! What about Lana Lang?”

“Lana is different.”

“What’s different? She’s a woman. If she was right here with you right now and wanted you to take her around the world – and I don’t mean flying – would you still not be that kind of guy?”

“Lana is different!”

“Is it that Lana’s different or is it that you feel differently about Lana?”

Again Clark was silent for a moment.

”I feel….I feel differently about Lana.”

“What do you feel?”

“I….I….I lo….Oh crap!”

Clark suddenly became aware that he was standing in the middle of his room with his pajama bottoms on and he had become significantly aroused to the extent where the fabric of his pajamas had been pushed to the breaking point. At the same time, there was a knock on the door of his room. He activated his X-ray vision and saw Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset standing outside his door.

”Crap! Crap! Crap!”

He started running clumsily around the room, greatly encumbered by the protuberance between his legs.

”Down! Down! Get down! Think of something else! Think of a hobby! Oh yeah! I don’t have any hobbies! Think of a sport! Baseball! Yeah baseball! Slide! Slide!”

He stubbed his toe on the bedpost. For a human such a blow would have caused excruciating pain but in Clark’s case, the bedpost split apart and the mattress crashed to the floor. The knocking at the door became more pronounced.

”Clark! Is everything alright in there?”

Clark looked at the door.

”I’ll be there in a minute!”

“Is everything okay? What was that noise?”

“It was nothing! I’m just a little stiff this morning!”

”Poor choice of words” Clark looked down at himself. There was no change in the unwanted exhibition of his Kryptonian virility. The Earth’s sun made him the ‘Man of Steel’ in more ways than one. ”Damn! I can’t answer the door like this.” He thought for a moment. ”Freeze breath!” He loosened the pajama strings around his waist and pulled his bottoms out to look down at himself. ”Can’t be too cold. I don’t want the family jewels to be turned into an ice sculpture.” He blew his slightly chilled breath down at his unexpected visitor.

His unexpected visitor came in from the cold. Relief came to Clark’s face.

”Oh! Thank God!”

He retied the strings of his pajama and then he walked to the door and opened it.

”Hi guys! What’s up? I mean what’s going on?”

Wayne and Somerset entered the room. Bruce looked over the place and focused on the bed.

”What’s going on in here? What happened to your bed?”

“Oh nothing. I just stubbed my toe.”

“You stubbed your toe and you broke your bed?”

“It’s from working out. You know. I…I…I do TaeBo.”

“TaeBo? I’m sure Billy Blanks will be thrilled.”

Somerset had moved to Clark’s closet and had taken out his empty suitcase and placed it on top of his mattress.

”Come on, Clark. We’ve got a plane to catch.”

“Plane to catch?”

“Indeed. The producers are moving the show to Los Angeles. The remaining fifteen bachelors are moving in together in some type of barracks they’ve set up. I have no idea as to how the dates will be arranged. While she’s on her date the remaining bachelors will be together for fun and games. Our flight is leaving in two hours.”

Clark thought of his first experience with flying.

”Flight. As in flight on an airplane?”

Bruce Wayne responded.

”Yeah. An airplane. What? You were expecting a personal ride with Superman?”

“No. No. No. It’s just that I don’t like flying. I don’t like airplanes.”

“Well, who does? It’s a necessary evil. Come on. Get in the shower and let’s get out of here.”

“I’ll…I’ll…I’ll get to Los Angeles my own way. I don’t have to take an airplane.”

“Oh yeah. What are you going to do? Surf to LA? Come on! Don’t be a big baby. Get in the shower!”

Bruce Wayne pushed Clark into the bathroom while Russell Somerset was pulling clothes out of the drawers and placing them in Clark’s suitcase. Bruce looked around the room and saw the smashed radio on the nightstand.

”Hey Clark! What happened to your radio?”

Clark came out of the bathroom and looked at the radio.

”Oh that. I…I didn’t like the station it was set to.”

Clark went back into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Bruce looked at the shut door and then looked back at the radio.

”Hmmm. He must have been listening to National Public Radio.”

**********

End of Chapter Nine

[CaptainObvious]

Thanks for the long update! This is a fun story and getting better as it goes. Some good chuckles taking place in this story and can't wait to read more.

Should prove interesting now that the guys will be living together in LA. I can only imagine the craziness with all of them together.

[LetMeGo]

LOL Clark is a real mess! Hopefully he can pull it together.

[oldmankent]

Chapter Ten

”Not For The Faint Of Heart.”

Lana examined herself in the bathroom mirror. Rachmaninoff was softly playing in the background.

Author’s Note: The actual music can be found here .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThnZvj7OkmY

”Lana, you have to be perfect.”

She unbundled her hair and shook her head so that her hair flowed freely over her shoulders and down her back.

”Just the way he likes it.”

She applied just a small amount of gloss over her lips. Just enough for her lips to be noticeably moist and inviting in the soft light of the hotel suite. She applied just a dab of expensive cologne to a small spot just below her ears. A spot where she hoped she would soon be kissed and nibbled over and over again. Even the thought of what was about to happen filled her with warmth.

Her skin tingled with the touch of the white silk fabric of the designer nightgown she was wearing. The nightgown clung to her body and was sheer enough to reveal the exquisite beauty of the woman underneath. Lana ran her hands down the fabric covering her hips. Feeling its texture. She felt in every way – ready.

She looked to her right and saw the white wedding gown that she had removed a half hour earlier hanging in the bathroom. Then she looked at her left hand and saw her diamond ring with the matching wedding band. She stood facing the door with her hand on the doorknob.

”The moment of truth – Mrs. Kent.”

Lana opened the bathroom door that led to the bedroom of the hotel suite. The light was subdued but she could see clear enough to see her newlywed husband sitting up in bed.

Anxiously waiting for her.

As Lana walked towards Clark she noticed that he had removed his tuxedo and was shirtless with the bed sheet covering him below his waist. Shirtless but still wearing his eyeglasses. Lana sat on the bed and faced Clark. Her breathing quickened as she eyed his muscular and well defined chest. She placed her hand on his lean abdomen and moved her fingers across it and up to his chest. She could feel Clark become excited at the electricity of her touch. He raised his arms and skimmed his fingertips down the flesh of Lana’s bare arms.

Goosebumps rose on her flesh at his touch. Her husband seemed fascinated with her skin.

”I never knew someone could be so soft.”

“Oh, Clark.”

Lana leaned forward and placed her head on his chest and positioned herself so that he could inhale the fragrance of her hair. She could hear his heartbeat in his chest.

Clark easily moved Lana over him so that her legs were now across his lap and she was straddling his thighs. She was astonished at his strength. She tingled as he ran his hands up and down the slides of her nightgown. A sigh left her mouth everything he grazed her bare skin. Each caress became more intense. Each sigh became longer. She sensed his excitement building below her underneath the sheet that was covering him and she sensed that she would not be wearing the nightgown for long.

”Clark, you have to be gentle with me. Being Mrs. Kent is not the only thing I’m new at.”

She pulled her head away to see the reaction on his face to her news. She was not disappointed as a smile crossed his face from ear to ear. Lana lifted her hands and removed his eyeglasses. The she nodded her head into his.

”Tell me you love me.”

“You know I do. I believe I told you that several times today.”

“I know but I like hearing you say it.”

“Lana, I l…..”

There was a knock at the door. They both turned to the door as the knocking continued.

”Who could that be?”

“I have no idea.”

Lana moved off Clark. He placed his glasses back on his face and rose from the bed taking the sheet with him and wrapping it around his waist. He walked to the door and opened it. Bruce Wayne walked in. He was carrying several cardboard pizza boxes.

”Hey, Clark.”

“Bruce, what are you doing here?”

Before Wayne could answer Russell Somerset appeared. He was carrying a cooler.

”Hello, Clark.”

“Russell?”

AJ MacMurphy and P Daddy Sugar then entered the bedroom.

”Mister Clark on the day of your wedding,
We’re not here to change your bedding.

Put on your pants and don’t shed a tear.
Cuz we brought a whole bunch of beer.”

Clark raised his voice to a shout.

”What are you guys doing here?”

Bruce Wayne had opened on of the boxes and was chomping down on a slice of pizza. Russell Somerset had opened the cooler and was handing out bottles of beer. Wayne answered Clark while chewing on his food.

”What do you mean what are we doing here? It’s Super Bowl Sunday!”

“Really?”

“Yeah really!”

The television was turned on and the men pulled up chairs in front of the bed. Clark asked.

”Who’s playing?”

Clark sat down covered in only the sheet. He was handed a beer and a slice of pizza. MacMurphy answered him.

”Giants and the Jets. Go Eli Manning!”

Lana was not only astonished at what was happening on her wedding night but also at how quickly she had been forgotten by her new husband. It was only a moment ago that he was ready to ravish her. Now he was settling in front of the television.

”Clark! What are you doing?”

“Hey! I told you we shouldn’t get married on Super Bowl Sunday.”

Tears started to build up in Lana’s eyes and she began to whimper. ”This can’t be happening. I’m ready to give myself to man I love and he’d rather watch ….Eli Manning!” She pleaded.

”But….but it’s our wedding night.”

Clark turned from Lana and spoke to the men.

”Hey guys. It’s my wedding night. You don’t mind if I take five minutes and do the missus, do ya?”

“Don’t let us stop you.”

Clark turned from the men and turned towards Lana. As he approached the bed he dropped the sheet that was covering him. She gasped as she saw his weapon aimed in her direction.

”Hey Lana. You were kidding when you spoke about being gentle? Right?”

Lana let out a scream.

”Clark!”

As Lana screamed the four men shouted out.

”Touchdown!”

Lana bolted upright in her bed. There was a slight knocking on the door to her bedroom in the Bachelorette Mansion. She was alone. No Super Bowl. No pizza and no beer.

No Clark.

No husband.

No wedding.

The knocking at the door grew louder.

”Come in.”

The door opened and Chloe walked through.

”What’s with all the noise?”

“What noise?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t make it out. You were yelling.”

“I must have been dreaming.”

“Well, you must have been having a nightmare.”

Lana didn’t respond. Chloe pulled open the shades to let in the morning sunlight.

”Come on, Lana. We’ve got to pack.”

“Where are we going?”

“Los Angeles.”

Lana rose from her bed and Chloe turned to leave the room. As Lana was about to enter her bathroom Chloe spoke.

”Lana, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Who’s Eli?”

**********

The flight out of Hawaii that Bruce Wayne was referring to was on his own private Learjet. Clark breathed a sigh of relief as he entered the airport and bypassed the ticket counter, security checkpoint and the crowded gate. As Clark, Russell and Bruce walked to the airplane they were met by a tall, gray haired, elderly gentleman and two other attendants who took their baggage. Once they were on the plane Bruce introduced the elderly gentlemen as Alfred. Clark was struck by the way Wayne treated Alfred. Although it was clear that Alfred treated Bruce with the deference expected from a servant to employer, Bruce Wayne treated Alfred with the affection of a grandson to a beloved grandfather. Clark was also struck by the way he and Russell were introduced to Alfred.

”Alfred, I’d like you to meet my good friends, Sir Russell Somerset and Mister Clark Kent.”

Clark had always been attuned not only to what people say but the way they say it. Wayne’s use of the words, ‘good friends’, seemed genuine in its intent and not just the result of good manners.

They were seated in comfortable, leather cushioned, swivel seats. Alfred guided the two attendants in providing food and adult beverages. Clark noticed that Wayne went into the cockpit and left Somerset and Clark alone. Alfred noticed that Clark picked up on Wayne’s absence.

”Mister Wayne isn’t being rude, Mister Kent. He likes to pilot the plane during the takeoff and landing phases. Once we level off at a cruising altitude he will hand the controls over to the ‘real’ pilot and rejoin you and Mister Somerset here in the cabin.”

Clark imagined Bruce Wayne sitting in the pilot’s seat like an attentive student with the experienced pilot watching over his every move. Clark imagined Bruce carefully taking the pilot’s wheel in his hands and slowly and carefully moving the plane to the takeoff position. Clark leaned back in his seat and relaxed as the plane taxied on the runway and came to a stop. Clark sensed that the plane would soon begin to move forward, gradually picking up speed and then gliding off the runway at a gradual incline and then leveling off.

Clark received his first indication that his assumptions regarding the flight and Bruce Wayne’s piloting was incorrect when he observed Alfred and the two attendants and the manner in which they were strapping themselves in their seats as if they were preparing themselves for the launch of the space shuttle.

The seatbelts could not have been pulled tighter. Although Alfred was calm and sitting up straight the two attendants were clutching at the arms of their seat with such a grip that their fingers were turning blue. Clark looked over at Russell who was nonchalantly sipping his drink. ”This isn’t going to be pretty.”

The plane moved to the takeoff position and began its trek up the runway. It gradually picked up speed as any normal flight until it was moving so fast that the structures on the ground became a blur. At this point the wheels of the jet lifted off the ground and the plane began its ascent. The plane stayed on the path of a slightly increasing, normal ascent for about ten seconds and then it jerked upwards on a severe incline as the pilot gunned the gas pedal. Even the state of the art sound insulation in the cabin could not conceal the roar of the twin Rolls Royce engines as the Lear streaked into the sky.

Clark watched Somerset as the champagne glass left his hand and Somerset was thrown back into his seat. Clark could see Somerset’s face change color as the jet roared through the clouds. Clark, for his part, felt nothing. Going from zero to a speed greater than this jet or any jet was capable of in a matter of milliseconds was a matter of routine to Clark. But he sympathized with Russell as the award winning actor’s stomach must have felt like it was being forced into his throat. Clark looked at the two attendants. Their eyes were closed and one was moving his lips as if he were silently saying a prayer. Alfred was sitting quietly with a smile on his face and watching Clark.

”Alfred, I see you’ve done this before.”

“Oh yes, Mister Kent. Many times. My compliments to you, sir. You seem to be holding up well. I wish I could say the same for Sir Russell.”

Clark smiled at the butler’s compliment. Alfred felt the need to comment further.

”I hope you and Sir Russell don’t take that this little experience as a personal assault on your senses. Mister Wayne sometimes feels, how is it put?….The need for speed.”

Gradually the plane leveled off and began to cruise at 30,000 feet and Somerset’s face regained his normal color and his chest no longer felt like a car was sitting on top of it. Clark placed his hand on Russell’s shoulder.

”Russell, are you alright?

Somerset was like a child after a roller coaster ride. He couldn’t conceal his excitement.

”What a rush! I’m going to have to fly with Bruce again!”

Clark just shook his head and laughed at what a character Russell Somerset was. It seemed that in his quest to be the consummate actor Somerset was entirely open to anything that he could experience.

The door to the cockpit opened and Bruce Wayne appeared looking as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He joined Clark and Somerset. Alfred came forward with tray that held two glasses with a fizzing drink.

”It’s for your stomachs, gentlemen. Mister Wayne insists that we keep a ready supply of this concoction.”

Although he didn’t need it Clark still drank the bicarbonate soda along with Somerset. Clark didn’t notice that Wayne and Alfred were observing him. Somerset was in good spirits as he was drinking the bicarbonate soda but it was plain to see that the jet’s rapid ascent had shaken him and it would take a few minutes to recover. Clark was in good spirits and drinking the soda but it was plain to see that event had absolutely no effect on him. Wayne sat down and began to speak.

”So Clark, when do think you can visit Gotham City?”

Clark was surprised at the question and at Bruce Wayne. He had expected conversation to center around Lana and the experiences that lay ahead for the bachelors. Instead Bruce seemed focused on the brief conversation from the dinner regarding the corruption in Gotham City. Clark wasn’t sure as to what to say.

”Well, I’m not sure how much good I could do.”

Bruce responded as if he had expected Clark’s non-committed answer.

”Oh. I’m sure you could do more good than you think. Perhaps you could bring your super friend along.”

Clark slightly nodded his head but chose not to answer further. He really did not want to get into the subject of ‘his super friend’.

Bruce Wayne’s jet arrived at Los Angeles just at the same time that the ABC Entertainment private jet was arriving with the other nine bachelors. Upon exiting the plane the three men were surprised that cameras had already been set up and were filming footage for the next episode. There were two vehicles waiting. One was a stretch limousine. The other vehicle was a small bus. The fifteen men gathered on the runway. The driver of the limousine opened the rear door of the vehicle. Chris Harrison exited first. He held out his hand and a hand from inside the vehicle took his. Lana Lang appeared from the limo. She was wearing a leisurely red top with designer jeans. Her hair was arranged to be off her shoulders. She and Harrison moved towards the group of men. Harrison then began to speak.

”Gentlemen, welcome to Los Angeles. In a few minutes we will be taking a trip to your new living arrangements. Lana will be living in the Los Angeles Bachelorette mansion. Three of you will be chosen to stay with her for three days while the remainder of you will be living together in some housing that we’ve constructed nearby which we call the Bachelor Quarters. We will be going to the Bachelor Quarters first where it will be decided which three bachelors will be staying with Lana.”

Lana was guided back to the limousine. Before she entered she turned around to catch a glimpse of Clark. He was easy to pick out in that he was the tallest of the group and the only one wearing eyeglasses. He came into Lana’s view and Lana felt a stirring of excitement within her as Clark seemed to be looking in her direction. This accentuated the emotion she already felt with the thought that Clark just might be one of the bachelors chosen to stay at the mansion. A part of her wanted to wave to him but another part told her that such an action would be inappropriate. There were fourteen other men who were seeking her attention. She knew she couldn’t show favoritism to Clark. ”It’s bad enough that I keep thinking about him.” Another voice deep within her spoke. ”You mean fantasizing about him.” She was brought back to reality when Chris Harrison took her by her arm and led her into the vehicle.

As the men gathered their belongings and started getting into the large vans Clark was standing still and staring in Lana’s direction. A smile grew on his face as he glanced at her and the outfit that hugged her small but shapely body. Once again he lapsed into a conversation – with himself.

”She’s perfect!”

“Perfect for what?”

“Excuse me?”

“You said she’s perfect. What is she perfect for?”

“She’s just prefect. Her waist it’s…it’s perfect. I could probably put my hands completely around it.”

“Then what would you do?”

“Do?”

“With your hands?”

Clark looked his hands and raised his eyebrows as he thought of what he would do with hands if he had them placed on Lana’s waist. He heard someone clear their throat. He looked up and found Bruce Wayne standing next him.

”Something wrong with your hands?”

Clark quickly brought his hands to his sides.

”What?”

“Oh! Quit thinking about what you’d do with Lana if you had her in your hands and let’s get going.”

Clark didn’t know how to answer. Wayne just chuckled and pushed Clark into the bus. The men loaded into the bus and the bus followed the limousine out of the airport and onto the California freeway.

The limousine and the bus traveled down the freeway and in typical California fashion a twenty minute ride became an hour’s ride due to heavy traffic. At the end of the hour both vehicles approached a beach house on the Pacific coast. About a hundred yards away was another structure that appeared to be a barn. The limousine and the bus pulled up and stopped at the barn. The men exited the bus and stood in their small groups looking at the makeshift structure before them.

”What the hell is that?”

Several voices were heard to say. Chris Harrison answered.

”For twelve of you that will be your home for the next three days.”

There was some grumbling among the men. That grumbling quickly ended when Lana appeared out of the limousine. All of the men gathered in a group as Harrison and Lana stood together. Harrison continued.

”In deciding who will be staying with Lana at the mansion we’ve come to the conclusion that we should go in the reverse order of who was seated at the dinner. Clark, since you were seated last at the dinner you will now be f…..”

“Wait a minute!”

Jason Teague’s voice rose up from the group.

”Wait a minute! I don’t think that’s fair!”

Harrison did not expect the objection. Teague continued.

”I think we ought to compete to see who gets to stay at the Mansion. After all…”

He turned to look at Bruce Wayne.

”….didn’t Bruce Wayne make a toast saying that the winner of the competition should be worthy of Lana. Well let’s have a contest and the top three get to stay at the Mansion with Lana. Everyone else gets to stay in the barn. Let’s see who proves to be worthy rather than leaving it to chance.”

Teague moved close to Clark and spoke under his breath.

”I’m sure you’ll feel perfectly right at home there in the barn, Kent.”

There was a great deal of discussion among the contestants. Harrison seemed at a loss as to how to react. Lana was left hoping that Clark would be up for any type of contest. As the discussion continued Chloe’s cell phone rang. She looked at the Caller ID and answered quickly.

”Hello, Mister Whitaker.”

Silence took hold of everyone as Chloe loudly spoke the name of the head of ABC’s Entertainment Division. Chloe said very little other than ‘uh huh, uh huh’. The call ended and Chloe spoke to Harrison.

”Mister Whitaker likes the idea of a competition. Survival of the fittest. Mister Whitaker suggests that we have a pushup contest. Everyone gets down on the ground and starts doing pushups. The three who last the longest get to stay at the Mansion.”

Harrison nodded his head and then approached the bachelors.

”Alright everyone. We’re going to have a pushup contest. I will start counting and with each number I expect you to do one pushup. Keep doing pushups until you can’t do anymore. The three bachelors who last the longest will be staying with Lana in the Mansion. If you slow down and can’t keep up with the count you will be disqualified.”

Jason Teague, who was in excellent physical condition, was pleased this scenario. A.J. MacMurphy, who had just finished a season of playing professional football, was not concerned about being in physical condition. Russell Somerset and Bruce Wayne were accustomed to a daily regimen of strenuous physical activity. The other men in the group were less certain of their ability to perform. P Daddy Sugar was visibly upset since he was the most out of shape in the group. Of course, the most confident of all was Clark Kent although he didn’t show it.

The men removed any jackets they were wearing. Jason Teague stripped off his outer shirt to reveal a white form fitting tee shirt. Clark was hesitant to remove any of his clothes and reluctantly took off his suit jacket. Bruce Wayne quietly spoke to him.

”Maybe you’d like to remove your necktie and roll up your shirt sleeves. This could become a little sweaty.”

Lana watched Clark remove his coat. Even though his shirt was a full cut, Clark couldn’t find a way to disguise his massive chest that tapered into his narrow waist. Then he unbuttoned his shirt sleeves and rolled the sleeves up his muscular forearms. Lana could have sworn that her heart skipped a beat. ”Oh my God! Clark, you have to stop doing this to me!”

Clark joined the other men in getting on his knees and extending his arms to the ground and lifting himself into the starting pushup position. As he did this he bent his head downward. This movement caused his eyeglasses to fall off his head. He knelt down, picked up his eyeglasses and placed them back over his nose. He then went again into the starting pushup position and his eyeglasses fell off his head again. Lana couldn’t understand why he just didn’t place his eyeglasses to the side but he was determined to wear them. Again Clark knelt down and picked up his eyeglasses.

”Anytime you’re ready, Kent!”

Clark slightly bent the frame of his eyeglasses so that it would be tighter around his head. There was some grumbling among the men as he was doing this. He placed the eyeglasses back on his face and seemed satisfied with himself.

”Sorry everyone. I’m ready now.”

Everyone lifted themselves off the ground and remained in the starting position. Chris Harrison stood in front of them.

”Alright everyone. Let’s begin. One….Two…Three”

Harrison began a steady, methodical count and all of the bachelors started rhythmically moving up and down.

”Eight….Nine…Ten”

Harrison continued and as he reached a count twenty it became noticeable that a few of the bachelors were beginning to struggle. What was surprising was that P Daddy Sugar was not one of them. Even though he appeared to be the most out of shape bachelor in the group he seemed intensely focused as he moved up and down with the other bachelors.

The men were exercising in the afternoon California sun and beads of sweat began to appear on the foreheads of everyone – except Clark. Fortunately, everyone was concentrating on their individual performances and not paying attention to Clark.

At the count of forty one of the bachelors stopped. At the count of fifty two another bachelor fell out. Two more fell out at the count of sixty. Harrison continued his steady counting and by one hundred only a handful were left.

Russell Somerset
Bruce Wayne
Clark Kent
P Daddy Sugar
Jason Teague

Lana was amazed that Sugar had kept up with everyone else. She attributed his success to being mentally focused rather than physically fit. She was happy that Clark had kept up with everyone and was showing no signs of tiring.

Somerset, Wayne, Sugar and Teague now had their faces full of sweat. Clark kept his face pointed to the ground and did not look up. He did not want anyone to see the absence of physical exertion on his face. He planned to pull out his handkerchief when he stopped and immediately wipe his face and act like he had been strained to the limit.

At the count of a hundred and ten Clark’s super hearing became activated with a strange sound. The sound of an irregular heartbeat from someone near him. He looked to his right and examined Sugar’s face. Sugar was trying to maintain his concentration and keep up with the count but was now having difficulty. His face was beet red and soaked in sweat. Clark focused his hearing.

He could hear the rapid heartbeat and in between the beats Clark could hear the valves opening and closing between the chambers of Sugar’s heart. He could hear blood swishing from one chamber into another but as the valve between the chambers closed it didn’t close completely and the blood backwashed into the previous chamber. Clark activated his X-ray vision and saw that Sugar’s heart was enlarged and pumping in his chest cavity. ”Stop Sugar! Please! Stop the pushups!” Clark’s wishes went unanswered as Sugar’s stubbornness forced the entertainer continue. While moving up and down Clark focused his vision on the surface of Sugar’s heart. He could see the fluid rushing through the arteries and then Clark stopped and studied a particular spot.

An area where the artery was forming a bubble.

P Daddy Sugar was about to have an ruptured aneurysm. A weakness in the wall of his artery had formed a bubble.

And the bubble was about to burst.

Without hesitation Clark immediately stopped his pushups, jumped to his feet, moved to Sugar and stopped him from continuing.

Lana was shocked. ”Clark, what are you doing? You would have won.” Somerset, Wayne and Teague continued while not knowing what was happening. When Clark made Sugar stop he forcefully turned him around and pushed him on his back to the ground. Sugar let out a yell as Clark’s maneuver caught him off guard.

”Hey, what are you doing, man!”

But then he couldn’t catch his breath and he began to cough uncontrollably as he tried to suck air unto his lungs. Clark called out.

”Doc! Doctor Sheppard I need your help!”

Jack Sheppard, who had dropped out after fifty pushups, ran to the two men.

”What? What is it?”

Clark tried to answer without revealing how he discovered the problem.

”I don’t know. I think something’s wrong with Sugar. Look at his face!”

Sugar who was trying to get up was ordered by Sheppard to lie still. Sheppard examined Sugar’s face and then placed his fingers at his neck to feel his pulse.

”Are you in pain?”

“No man! I ain’t in no pain. This damn fool stopped me! I would have won.”

As Sugar finished spitting out his response he went into another coughing spasm.

”Well your heartbeat is very irregular. Keep still. You’re not going anywhere.”

By this time Somerset, Wayne and Teague had stopped. The bachelors who had fallen out gathered around the two men. Lana and Harrison joined them.

”I need an ambulance here. Now! Sugar, you’re going to the hospital.”

“I don’t need no…”

“Sugar! Shut up!”

Sheppard forcefully barked the order at the rap singer. A call went out to 911 and in a few minutes an ambulance arrived with paramedic team. Sugar was given oxygen and placed on a stretcher. Inside the ambulance the paramedics attached a portable Electrocardiogram machine to Sugar. In a few minutes the test was completed and Sheppard looked at the readings and then spoke to Sugar.

”Are you sure you’re not in any pain?”

Sugar didn’t speak even though he was experiencing a pulling sensation in his chest. But his non answer was answer enough for Sheppard.

Chloe was on her cell phone speaking with Whitaker. The nearest hospital was alerted that Sugar was being brought in. A police car had now arrived at the scene to provide an escort through the crowded freeway. As the ambulance door was being closed everyone gathered around Sheppard and Clark.

”Right now I’d say he’s having a cardiac event. We’ll determine exactly what that event is once we do some tests. Clark, you did a good thing. If what I think is happening is really happening you might have saved his life. How did you know something was wrong?”

Clark hesitated for a moment before answering. Clark was disturbed by his own behavior. He had reacted to the emergency without thinking of the consequences of exposing himself.

”Clark?”

Sheppard placed his hand on Clark’s shoulder. The good doctor thought Clark was experiencing the shock of what had just happened.

”It was just the way he looked, Doc. I had a hunch that something was wrong? I just felt that I had to do….something. I couldn’t just stand there.”

“You had a hunch? If your hunches are this good maybe you should go to Vegas. You might become a rich man.”

Clark didn’t answer. Sheppard got inside the ambulance and the vehicle sped away. Everyone was left looking at the disappearing vehicle when Teague spoke up.

”It looks like the three winners are Wayne, Somerset and me.”

Everyone was now brought back to the reality of the reality show. Something didn’t seem quite right in the bizarre manner in which the three men were decided but no one raised an objection. Seeing everyone acquiesce, Harrison nodded his agreement. Lana said nothing but was filled with disappointment. But at the same time she was enormously proud of Clark Kent. Lana, Somerset, Wayne and Teague were then led to the limousine. The remainder of the men minus Sugar and Doctor Sheppard walked towards the barn. Clark looked back at Lana. He knew he had done the right thing but felt no satisfaction. He shrugged his shoulders, placed his hands in his pockets and walked towards the barn.

Before Lana got into the vehicle she looked back at Clark and his slumped shoulders. ”Don’t worry Clark. I’ll save a rose for you. You’ve earned it.”

Teague anxiously got into the vehicle. Somerset and Wayne were last. Before they entered Somerset turned to Wayne.

”Bruce, I feel bloody awful about what just happened. It doesn’t seem quite right that Clark should be penalized for doing the right thing.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Well what are we going to do about it?”

Bruce Wayne was silent for a moment and then a small, devious smile appeared on his face.

”I have an idea.”

**********

End of Chapter Ten

[CaptainObvious]

Thanks for another fun update! Dream sequence....Superbowl Sunday....holy nightmare for Lana!!!

Leave it Clark to save the day with Sugar, but than loose out on the opportunity to stay in the mansion with Lana. Hang in there Clark, good comes to those who wait.

What do Bruce and Somerset have up their sleeves to help Clark out for saving Sugar? Glad they are looking out for their new friend. I hope they sabatage Teague in some way.

[LetMeGo]

What a dream! LOL I hate when a perfectly nice dream takes an odd twist... happens to me all too often.

Poor Clark... sometimes doing the right thing isn't rewarded immediately. Luckily we have Bruce and Somerset to make things right. I'm looking forward to seeing what Clark's new friends have planned!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Eleven

”The Great Escape”

Upon arriving at the Los Angeles Bachelorette Mansion, Lana Lang, Jason Teague, Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset were given a tour of the house and the grounds surrounding it. The LA mansion was every bit as magnificent as the house in Honolulu and more. There were several large bedrooms with their own bathrooms containing sunken tubs, enormous walk-in closets and the windows in each room displayed a panoramic view of the Pacific Ocean. The living areas were large and expensively furnished. The dining area was smaller than the Honolulu mansion for the simple reason that it would no longer be necessary to host a dinner for Lana and a group of twenty bachelors. The dinners would now be smaller and more intimate. Outside of the house was a pool with a diving board and a waterfall and a hot tub that could comfortably hold six people.

Jason Teague was uncommonly gregarious as the foursome walked from room to room. He not only tried to engage Lana in conversation but was also friendly and pleasant with Wayne and Somerset. He spoke of the house and the grounds. He seemed to speak of everything that entered his mind except what had just occurred with Sugar and Clark. Lana tried to be well mannered in responding but was having difficulty in not thinking that had circumstances been different it would be Clark Kent who would be standing by her side. She was also concerned over Sugar’s health. The rap singer, though unconventional in his makeup had an engaging personality and Lana had taken a liking to him as a friend. Lana wasn’t certain if Jason was trying to ignore what they had just experienced or if this was the way he coped with stressful situations. Was he just putting it out of his mind because it was too upsetting to think that Sugar almost died? Different people react to emergencies in different ways. She noticed that Wayne and Somerset were just as quiet as she was and she felt a kinship with them. She thought it strange that somehow silence was more bonding than talking.

For the next three days Lana was in the company of the Russell Somerset, Bruce Wayne and Jason Teague. Most of the time the three men were together with Lana in the kitchen, in the living area or on the grounds but there were moments when each one tried to steal some alone time with her. Together they talked about a variety of subjects – politics, sports, entertainment and families. This was the first time that Bruce Wayne mentioned that he had been orphaned as a boy. Jason Teague was an only child. Russell Somerset was one of seven children of a Welsh coal miner and his wife.

When Jason was alone with Lana he wanted to speak about them as a couple. He was continually apologetic for his past behavior and tried to get across to Lana that he was a changed person. He was noticeably less critical in his comments regarding Wayne and Somerset and even complementary about the two gentlemen. He hinted that he was shaken at what had happened to Sugar. ”Life is short and unpredictable.” Lana liked this sensitive, caring side of Jason. For a moment she questioned whether or not his attitude would have been different if Clark Kent had been part of the trio instead of Bruce or Russell. But Lana by nature was not normally suspicious of people’s motives and she decided to give Jason the benefit of the doubt.

Although Bruce Wayne mentioned that he had been orphaned he spoke little of his childhood. Lana did not know as to how his parents died and Bruce didn’t volunteer the information. It was obvious that the subject was painful to Bruce but this did not hinder their conversation. Although Bruce did not go into details about his past he did converse about the importance of family and of shared values between a husband and wife. Lana wondered why a man who felt so strongly about family wasn’t already married.

Russell Somerset spoke of his mother, father and six siblings but revealed little of his own history. He constantly entertained Lana by making humorous comments about the show, the people involved in it, and he constantly displayed a very keen self-deprecating English dry wit.

”Lana, it must be difficult for you to choose among the bachelors. It’s the Bachelor Buffet. Should I choose the Bruce Wayne filet mignon or the Russell Somerset leg of lamb? And then there’s the Jason Teague French Onion Soup.”

“French Onion Soup?”

“Yes. Once you get past the melted cheese there’s nothing left but a hunk of soggy bread.”

Unbeknownst to Lana both Wayne and Somerset had teamed together to make Clark Kent a part of the group that was in the mansion. Even though he physically wasn’t present he would be with them in spirit. Just about every conversation contained a thinly veiled reference to Clark. They would ensure that Clark Kent would not be forgotten.

One morning Lana entered the library to find Somerset examining the books.

”Good morning, Russell? Did you find anything interesting?”

“Good morning, Lana. I’m just perusing some of the reading material here. They seem to have an awful lot of K novels.”

“K novels?”

“Yes. Let’s see. What do we have? – King’s Row, The Keys to the Kingdom, King of Kings, King Solomon’s Mines, The Return of the King, In the Name of the King, Captains and the Kings – speaking of K words, have you heard from Clark Kent?”

Lana was caught off guard by the question and could not disguise her nervousness as she stammered her answer.

”Clark? Clark begins with a C.

“But Kent begins with a K, my dear.”

“No. No. Why would I hear from Clark?”

Somerset then acted as if his mind had gone astray and he had made a mistake in asking.

”I’m sorry, Lana. Of course, you haven’t heard from him. I forgot that we’ve been separated. We’re over here enjoying domestic bliss in this magnificent home and Clark has been…

Somerset looked through the window at the structure a hundred yards away.

….exiled to the barn. He must be miserable. I do miss the old boy.”

Somerset, taking one of the books with him, turned to walk out of the room just as Jason Teague was entering. Lana thought, ”No. I haven’t heard from Clark. I just can’t stop thinking about him all the time.” Teague had overheard Somerset’s last few words.

”Miss what old boy?”

Lana looked at Jason with a surprised look.

”What?”

“Russell said he misses the old boy. What old boy?”

Lana thought for a moment before answering.

”His dog. He misses his dog.”

**********

Author’s note: I think some theme music would be appropriate here.

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Rawhide.html

Clark and nine other bachelors were led to the barn. There was good news and there was bad news. The good news was that the barn was newly constructed and had never housed any animals. Therefore, there were none of the usual farm animal odors that one would expect. The bad news – it was still a barn. Bunks had been set up for the men to sleep on. There was an area for showers – without heated water. A small kitchen area was set up where the men could cook their own food and eat together. Toilet facilities consisted of a Port-A-John that was thankfully outside of the barn.

The ten men entered and were floored by their rudimentary surroundings. MacMurphy was the first to object.

”You gotta be kidding me!”

Chloe Sullivan had followed in behind them.

”No. This isn’t a joke. It’s part of the contest. What are you willing to go through for the Bachelorette? The good part is that you will be having group dates with Lana. Lana will get to spend her days with Jason, Russell and Bruce. But her nights will be spent with four of you at a time. A different date each night with four different men. There will be a drawing later to determine the groups.”

Chloe left and the men unpacked their bags and settled in. As before, the remaining men gathered in their cliques and left Clark by himself. Clark unpacked his bag and made a quick tour of the barn. He looked up at the upper part of the barn and imagined his own loft in Smallville with the window opened to the west. He thought that if he was alone he could build a loft in less than ten minutes.

A few hours later Jack Sheppard returned from the hospital. The men gathered around him to hear news about P Daddy Sugar.

”We got Sugar to the hospital just in time. Tests have shown him to have two heart problems. He has a congenital heart condition with one of his valves. But more seriously he has a weakness in the wall of his artery. A bubble that was about to burst. The weakness is probably due to prolonged high blood pressure that hasn’t been treated and the high blood pressure is probably due to his high flying lifestyle. A cardiologist examined him and a cardiac surgeon is flying into LA. He’s going to have heart surgery tomorrow.”

Everyone was silent. Everyone knew that the prospect of heart surgery was serious business. Sheppard then approached Clark.

”I don’t know how you did it, Clark. But you saved his life. If you didn’t stop him from continuing the physical exertion would have caused the bubble in his artery to burst and he would have bled out. He would have died right before our eyes and there wouldn’t have been anything we could have done about it.”

Sheppard made sure he was face to face with Clark so that he was looking Clark in the eyes.

”I know that many of us have treated you like an outcast since you first joined our group. And although I didn’t directly do anything to make you feel uncomfortable, I didn’t do anything to make you feel welcome either. I want to tell you that I’m sorry…”

Sheppard extended his hand to Clark.

”…for the way you’ve been treated and I hope you’ll accept my apology.”

Clark didn’t make Sheppard wait long for an answer. He gladly took the doctor’s hand and shook it. Sheppard’s action prompted the other men to stand up, face Clark and shake his hand. Most said nothing but just nodded their heads in acknowledgment. Thomas and McCall shook Clark’s hand with reluctance as their opinion of him (but mainly their opinion of the superiority of themselves) hadn’t changed. AJ MacMurphy gave Clark a bear hug.

”If you ever want a ticket for a Shark’s home game just give me a call, Kent.”

The men gathered in the kitchen area. A few investigated the refrigerator and found some food and soft drinks. As they were eating Dimitrio entered the barn.

”Ta Ta, gentlemen!”

A groan rose from the men. Dimitrio stood still for a moment and scanned the area. Then a broad smile came to his face and he waived an enthusiastic hello.

”Hi Clarkie!”

Clark gave Dimitrio a weak smile. All of the men turned towards Clark. The expression on Clark’s said, “Please don’t ask.”

Dimitrio was carrying the same bowl that was used for drawing numbers in episode two. Inside the bowl were eleven slips of paper. Four slips were labeled as A. Four slips were labeled as B and three slips were labeled as C. Because of Sugar’s condition the number of bachelors had been decreased from fifteen to fourteen.

”This drawing will decide the order of your group dates with Ms. Lang, gentlemen.”

Dimitrio moved next to Clark.

”You get to choose first this time, sunshine.”

Clark pulled out a slip of paper. It had the letter C on it. Dimitrio made a show of announcing the result of Clark’s pick.

”A C for the C Man! I bet the C Man has plenty of semen? I made a funny. You like my funny, Clarkie?”

Clark didn’t respond. As he walked away he heard Dimitrio sigh,

”The C Man doesn’t like my funny. Dimitrio is crushed.”

Clark stood looking at the empty area in elevated potion of the barn. MacMurphy walked next to him.

”What group did you get, Clark?”

Clark showed him the slip of paper.

”Group C.”

“Me too. That’s means we have nothing to do for the next two days.”

Clark continued to stare at the empty space.

”Maybe”

“What are you thinking?”

“I grew up on a farm in Kansas. My dad built a loft for me in our barn when I was a boy. It became a very special place for me. I was thinking I could do the same thing with this place…..If I only had the lumber and the tools.”

“There’s some extra lumber behind the barn. I guess it’s what’s left over from building this place.”

“Really? How much?”

“Maybe enough to build your loft.”

“What about tools?”

“It looks like this place was built in a hurry. The construction company hasn’t removed their supply van yet. Would you like some help?”

“You?”

MacMurphy enthusiastically nodded his head.

”I grew up on ranch in Texas. I can be pretty handy when I want to be.”

Clark agreed. Michael Scott was standing nearby and voiced his opinion.

”You can’t build a loft.”

Clark answered him.

”Why can’t we?”

“Well…well…nobody said you could.”

“They didn’t say we couldn’t.”

Clark moved to Scott and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

”Mike, sometimes it’s easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission.”

As MacMurphy and Clark walked away to get started, MacMurphy was heard saying,

”I like the way you think, Clark.”

Clark and MacMurphy first made an assessment as to how much extra lumber they actually had to work with. Then they looked into the van to determine what tools were available. They spent a couple of hours drawing up plans for the design of the loft. The bachelors would walk by them shaking their heads. Not believing that the two men would accomplish anything.

Then they started to build.

The camera crews became alerted when they started to hear the sounds of hammering and sawing. Several cameras were brought into the barn to film the construction. There was a great deal of discussion between Whitaker, Harrison and Chloe as to whether or not the construction should be stopped. It was decided to let the work continue and see how the other bachelors would react. As Clark and MacMurphy progressed the other bachelors became interested and wanted to join in with the exception of Jason Teague’s friends, Thomas T. Thomas and Cash McCall.

During the first night in the loft the men in group A went on their group date with Lana. The second night in the loft the men in group B went on their group date with Lana. By the beginning of the third day the construction was completed and everyone except the Teague clique had acquired a sense of accomplishment and camaraderie that they did not have when the series began. They stood on the top floor of the loft and looked on the window they had carved out of the wall. A window that had a clear view of the Bachelorette Mansion. Clark looked at the sky.

”In my loft at home I had a telescope on the top floor.”

MacMurphy jokingly responded.

”For what? To spy on the girl next door?”

Clark was about to respond in a serious manner when he saw from the expression on MacMurphy’s face that MacMurphy was kidding.

”The girl next door was Mrs. Hubbard. She had six sons and had the body to show for it.”

MacMurphy laughed and then extended his hand to Clark. Clark shook it but didn’t know why.

”Thanks, Clark. I haven’t done something this worthwhile in a long time.”

“What do you mean?”

MacMurphy became quiet and serious.

”Clark, everyone thinks of me a big, dumb, fun loving jock who’s just looking to score touchdowns, make millions of dollars and get laid. Maybe I’ve let myself become that. I’m thanking you because it felt good to do something….meaningful.”

“So what’s stopping you from doing it more often?”

“Come on, Clark. I’m AJ MacMurphy, star quarterback of the Metropolis Sharks. I’m about to sign a big contract that will make me wealthy for the rest of my life. And I’ll celebrate that signing at the Playboy Mansion with a couple of big breasted, blonde beauties who look at me and see a big dollar sign.”

Clark saw that the quarterback was troubled. He directed MacMurphy to move away from the view of the cameras for a private conversation.

”What’s the matter, AJ? What’s bothering you?”

“Clark, do you know what the shelf life of a player in the NFL is?”

Clark shook his head. MacMurphy continued.

”About four years, Clark. You come into the league at twenty two and you’re washed up by twenty six. I’m twenty six years old, Clark. What happens if I get hurt and can’t play anymore? What happens if I do make it for an entire career and then retire at forty? Retire at forty! Normal people are just starting their lives and their families at forty and I’ll be retiring. Then what am I supposed to do for the next forty years of my life? Go to the Playboy Mansion until Alzheimer’s has sunk in and I don’t even know why I’m there anymore.”

“AJ, who says it has to be that way?”

“Ah come on, man! What am I good for except throwing a football?”

“AJ, no one controls your destiny but you.”

“Come on, man! We all can’t be like Superman. Now there’s a guy who gets things done.”

Clark thought for a moment.

”He didn’t build this loft, AJ. You and I and everyone here did that. He may rescue a child but he doesn’t raise the child. He’s not with that child when it’s scared and crying at night. He can’t find a place to live for all of the homeless and feed everyone who’s hungry. It’s up to people like you…and me to do that. He may capture a bad guy but it’s up to an everyday person sitting on a jury to bring that bad guy to justice. Superman shows the way but he’s not the way.”

MacMurphy nodded his head in understanding and appreciation. No one had ever spoken to him before the way Clark spoke to him. He no longer felt ashamed to think that there was more to his life than a blind side blitz.

**********

Lana’s date with the first group of four men was to Universal Studios in Hollywood. She waited for the four men to come into the mansion. She smiled at seeing them but hid her disappointment when she found out that Clark wasn’t one of the four. Three of the four men were unusually happy and enthusiastic. Lana observed that they seemed to possess a strange sense of fellowship. The fourth man, Thomas T. Thomas, kept himself apart from the others as he always did. When Lana asked them why they were so happy they replied that they were working together to build something inside the barn. They spoke as to how Clark Kent and AJ MacMurphy teamed up to build a loft within the barn. Soon most of the others joined in. Instead of just passing the time waiting for their dates with Lana and getting on each other’s nerves the men were putting their time to good use and were becoming ‘friendly’ competitors. On the drive to Universal Studios the conversation was filled with stories of what each bachelor’s role in building the loft. More than once Lana heard the words, ‘a great guy’ when the men spoke of Clark. That night when they returned from Universal Studios the men said their goodbyes to Lana and they could hardly wait to run back to the barn to see how much progress had been made on the loft.

The next date with the second group of four men was to see a Lakers’ game in Los Angeles. It started out much like the first. Three of the four men were unusually happy and enthusiastic with the fourth, Cash McCall, remaining aloof. The three men said they were close to completing the structure and again Lana heard the words, ‘great guy’ used to describe Clark. Lana and the four men had an exciting time at the game. The game with the San Antonio Spurs was decided in the final seconds. The most unique moment of the night occurred when the well known Lakers fan, Jack Nicholson, tried unsuccessfully to get Lana to go home with him. At the end of the night the men said their goodbyes and went back to the barn.

At the end of the second night Clark stood by himself and looked at the almost completed loft that he and the others had built. He had worked at normal human speed. And although it was frustrating for Clark to work at so slow a pace it had been worth it since the work brought everyone closer together. He had done the work to pass the time and to keep his mind off the beautiful bachelorette who was living just a hundred yards away.

But it didn’t help. Out of sight out of mind did not work. As long as he wasn’t with Lana, Clark was still filled with anxiety and doubt.

**********

It was a crystal clear night. The moon was shining brightly over Metropolis. The air was cold and crisp but the temperature didn’t prevent people from strolling on the streets. Going to restaurants. Going to the theater. Taking in a movie. Horse drawn carriages trotted around Metropolis Central Park carrying couples who snuggled under the blanket provided by the driver. Other couples walked arm in arm down the street taking in the bright lights and the sights and sounds of the city. The police confidently patrolled the streets. An occasional siren could be heard of an ambulance speeding to an emergency.

Everyone felt safe knowing that Superman was cruising the skies above them.

Clark moved quietly in the air. He was occasionally seen but didn’t stay in one place for long. It was enough that people caught just a glimpse of him. Even those who would do harm to others. The law abiding citizens knew that Superman was watching over them. The non-law abiding citizens didn’t know where Superman was and not knowing was enough to keep them in check.

Clark’s heart grew light in seeing the families with small children. The children looked up in awe at the skyscrapers towering over them. Fathers held carried toddlers on their shoulders. Mothers ensured that their children were bundled up to keep warm from the cold winds that blew through the cavernous avenues of the city.

Although Clark kept watch to ensure that all were safe he occasionally focused on the young couples who walked hand in hand in the park. They would momentarily stop, turn into each other, lightly kiss look into each other’s eyes and nod their foreheads together. Clark didn’t watch for long. The pain was too great. ”It just wasn’t meant to be.”

Clark hovered over the theater district. The streets in the district contained a mixture of theaters and expensive restaurants. The patrons would have dinner before seeing a play. They would be served by tuxedo clad waiters who simmered flambé at the table. Bottles of wine costing hundreds of dollars were opened and poured. As Clark hovered above his hearing picked up the voice that soothed him and haunted him at the same time.

”Happy Anniversary, dear”

“Happy Anniversary, Lana.”

Author’s note: I think some theme music would be appropriate here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDzitZjOwYY

The couple rose from their table. They picked up their coats from the coatroom. The husband helped his wife with her coat. They left the restaurant and began to walk down the block to the theater. Clark floated down to the street. A happy crowd gathered around him. Lana stopped when she saw him.

”Hello Superman! It’s so nice to see you.”

Clark responded in a pleasant but businesslike tone.

”Hello Mrs. Teague. It’s nice to see you.”

Lana’s bulky coat wasn’t enough to hide her swollen abdomen. Jason Teague took her arm.

”We don’t want to be late for the show, dear.”

He nodded his head at Clark.

”Keep up the good work, Superman.”

The couple rushed off. Jason’s face showed that he couldn’t contain the pride that shouted out, ‘She’s carrying my baby.’ Made the old fashioned way! Clark stood and stared. ”She didn’t recognize me.” Clark spoke softly underneath his breath.

”Lana, it’s me. It’s Clark….Clark….Clark….Clark”

“Clark…Clark….Clark!”

Clark woke up at hearing his name being quietly spoken. There was a face looking down at him.

”Bruce? What are you doing here?”

The other bachelors were asleep. Bruce Wayne was standing by Clark’s bunk. He was leaning over Clark and slightly pushing him to wake up. Wayne was strangely dressed. He was completely covered in black. He was wearing black pants and a black long sleeve tee shirt. For the first time Clark noticed that Bruce Wayne was extremely muscular. Not bulky but very flexible and lean. Clark whispered back.

”Bruce, what is it? What’s going on?”

“It’s Lana, Clark. She needs to see you.”

Clark bolted upright in a semi-panic.

”Lana? Is she alright? Where is she?”

“You have to come with me, Clark.”

“Just tell me where she is.”

Wayne responded as if he didn’t even hear Clark.

”Don’t ask me any questions, Clark. Just come with me.”

Clark quickly rose from his bed. He didn’t bother to cover his feet or change his clothes but he remembered to don his eyeglasses. Clothed in a pair of navy blue sweat pants and a white tee shirt he followed Wayne as they tiptoed out of the barn.

The lights were out in mansion. The camera crew was asleep. They jogged across the grounds until they were no longer within sight of the mansion. A dark car was waiting for them. Wayne got into the driver’s seat and Clark got into the passenger seat. Wayne started the car and they drove away in the darkness.

”Where are you taking me, Bruce?”

“You have to trust me, Clark.”

**********

The second group of four bachelors had finished their date with Lana. Lana had said goodnight to each one individually. She kissed each man on his cheek as they held her hands. The men left, Lana went to her bedroom, the cameras were turned off and the mansion closed down for the day.

In her bedroom she removed her dress and undergarments. Put on her nightgown and wrapped a thin silk robe around her. In the bathroom she removed her makeup. Then she sat her dressing table and began to brush out her long hair. She made each stroke in a methodical manner. She didn’t even need to think about it. She reviewed the night at the Lakers’ game. She had had fun. She chuckled to herself. ”Jack Nicholson is a crazy old man.” She closed her eyes, lost track of the time and heard his strong voice echo inside her head.

”You have wonderful shoulders.”

Author’s note: I think some theme music would be appropriate here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWOkG4KPgNQ&feature=related

She felt his steady hands moving over her shoulders. Then she felt his warm breath on her skin. He placed a small kiss on the outside of her shoulder and then started to move inwards toward her neck. She swooned at his touch. Lana brought her hand up behind her and cupped his face as his lips caressed her neck.

”Ooooh Clark.”

Clark’s hand moved to the thin strap of Lana’s nightgown. He moved it downward off her shoulder. His mouth was now nibbling on Lana’s lower earlobe. A smile came to her face.

”You know me so well. You know just what I like.”

She felt his hand move inside her nightgown. His fingers delicately moved over her sensitive skin. Lana’s breathing quickened.

”Yessss. Yes, my love.”

Clark whispered in her ear.

”Lana. My Lana. Lana….Lana…Lana…”

Lana opened her eyes. There was a soft tapping at her door and someone was quietly calling out her name in between the taps.

Lana looked at herself in the mirror. Her robe was open. She quickly tied it around her waist, rose from her seat and went to the door. She cracked it open to see who was outside and looked into the face of Russell Somerset.

”Russell? What’s wrong?”

He placed his index finger across his lips to tell her to speak quietly.

”Lana, can I come in? It’s important.”

Lana opened the door and Russell came through. She now took notice of what he was wearing. He was clothed completely in black. Black pants with a long sleeve black tee shirt.

”Russell, what’s going on?”

“It’s Clark. He needs to see you.”

Lana was hit with panic.

”Is Clark alright? Where is he?”

“Lana, you have to come with me, Lana.”

“Just tell me where he is.”

Russell responded as if he didn’t even hear Lana.

”Don’t ask me any questions, Lana. Just come with me.”

Lana turned off the light in her bedroom and followed Russell. Everyone was asleep in the mansion. The cameras were turned off for the night. They tiptoed out of the mansion without being discovered. They moved across the grounds and out of the sight of the mansion. There was a dark colored car waiting for them. Russell got into the driver’s seat while Lana got into the passenger side. He turned on the engine and then did nothing for a few seconds. Lana, worried about Clark, spurted out.

”What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just remembered that you Americans do everything backwards. You drive on the right side of the road, don’t you?”

Once he was comfortable with the controls, Somerset moved the car down the road and onto the freeway.

”Where are you taking me, Russell?”

“You have to trust me, Lana.”

**********

Author’s note: I think some theme music would be appropriate here.

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Mission_Impossible.html

Wayne drove his car down the freeway keeping the vehicle just at the speed limit. Clark had no idea what was happening but remained silent. He was extremely upset. If Lana was in trouble he could easily get to her before Wayne could drive to her. ”But Kal-El, would you reveal yourself in Wayne’s presence in order to get to Lana?” Clark didn’t know the answer to his own question. The car was slowing. Wayne pulled into a side road and was entering a private airfield. Clark recognized Wayne’s Learjet in the distance. The vehicle stopped at the plane. Wayne shut off the engine to the car and sat back. Clark didn’t understand what was happening.

”Now what?”

“Now we wait.”

**********

Somerset drove his car down the freeway keeping his vehicle just at the speed limit. Lana remained silent but was extremely upset. The thought of something happening to Clark was unbearable to her and it was at that moment that she realized the significance of the emotion she was experiencing. ”Oh my God! I must be in l….” She came back to reality when she noticed that they were driving into a private airfield. They drove up to Learjet that had another, similar vehicle parked next to it. They stopped and Russell shut off the engine.

”We’re here.”

**********

With both cars stopped four car doors opened at once and Clark, Bruce, Lana and Russell got out of their cars at the same time. Clark and Lana took sight of each other and ran to each other. Each was overcome with the emotion of seeing the other. Instinctively Clark placed his hands on Lana’s upper arms while Lana placed her hands on his chest. They were both breathless at seeing each other.

”Are you alright?”

“Am I alright? Are you alright?”

They both nodded their heads but neither understood what was happening. Clark turned to Bruce.

”You told me Lana was in trouble.”

“No. I told you that she needed to see you. You assumed that meant trouble.”

Bruce approached the couple and spoke to Lana.

”You do need to see him, don’t you?”

Lana didn’t know how to answer. Russell moved closer.

”My dear, Lana. Haven’t you ever seen Sleepless in Seattle?”

“Well, yeah. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well you know that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are going to get together in the end. Everything is just a buildup until that moment. We’ve just shortened the story.”

Clark was just as dumbfounded as Lana. There they were. Four people outdoors in the middle of the night. Two men clothed like black ninjas. Clark in sweatpants and a tee shirt. Lana in a nightgown and robe. Everyone standing in a darkened airport in front of an airplane. Clark spoke to Bruce.

”So what are we doing here?”

The door of the jet opened up and lowered down to the ground. Through the door and down the steps walked Alfred. Even though it was midnight he was dressed in traditional butler attire. He stood in front of Clark and Lana.

”Mister Kent, Ms. Lang….

Dinner is served.”

End of Chapter Eleven

**********

[ClanaGirl]

Amazing what you did with the chapter! i love the way you used sleepless in seattle for Clark and Lana really. smart plan with bruce and wayne love what you did. ocntinue writing this story rocks!

[CaptainObvious]

Boy, when you titled the chapter, "The Great Escape", you weren't kidding. I wasn't expecting Bruce and Russel going to such lengths with the plane and everything! Very cool! I wonder where they are going? Maybe just a buzz around the friendly skys than back to the mansion and barn? For Clark, any opportunity to be with Lana is a good opportunity.....even if dragged off in the middle of the night completely unaware of what is going on in your pjs.

I like how most of the guys starting ralling behind Clark as being the "nice guy" and lent a hand with the loft building project.

Thanks and post soon!

[CaptainObvious]

You know, I just assumed the plane would take off and they would have their meal in the plane in the air. On second thought, they'll probably just sit on the runway using the plane and a safe haven for awhile.

That works too!!

[LetMeGo]

That was fun! Bruce and Somerset are awesome, going out of their way to help Clark out like that. I hope Clark and Lana enjoy dinner!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Twelve

”Dream a Little Dream of Me.”

The door of the jet opened up and lowered down to the ground. Through the door and down the steps walked Alfred. Even though it was midnight Alfred was dressed in traditional butler attire. He stood in front of Clark and Lana.

”Mister Kent, Ms. Lang….

Dinner is served.”

Alfred turned to walk back up the steps and then turned back to the couple when he realized they weren’t following him. Seeing that Clark and Lana were dumbfounded at what was happening, Alfred sought to enlighten them.

”Mister Kent… Ms. Lang…”

Clark responded.

”I don’t understand.”

“I’ve arranged dinner as per Mister Wayne’s instructions. You know. Dinner. A meal. Something to eat.”

Clark looked at Lana. She shrugged her shoulders.

”I’m game if you are.”

Clark turned to Wayne and Somerset. Wayne spoke.

”You’ve got an hour and then we have to get back to the mansion before anyone discovers that Lana is gone.”

Clark asked the question that was on his and Lana’s minds.

”Bruce, Russell, why are you doing this?”

Bruce didn’t answer. He walked up to Clark.

”Maybe someday you’ll do me a favor. You’re wasting time, Clark. You’ve now got fifty nine minutes.”

Bruce was about to walk away when Lana took his arm, lifted herself on her toes, kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear.

”Thank you.”

Lana took Clark by the hand and led him up into the plane. A table covered in a red tablecloth and two candles had been set up for them with two chairs positioned across from each other. Alfred pulled back a chair for Lana to take and she sat down. Clark sat in the other chair and looked at Lana while not knowing what to say. She smiled at him and he gave a small, nervous smile in return. Neither said a word as they waited for Alfred to finish tending to them. Alfred brought an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne. He opened the bottle and poured two glasses. Then he brought out a plate assorted cheeses, crackers and fruit.

”It’s not Duck L’orange but one mustn’t eat heavily this time of night.”

Alfred then left the cabin and Clark and Lana were alone. They each took a sip of the champagne. Clark gave a nod of approval and made an pleasing ‘Hmmm’ sound. They placed their glasses down and remained silent. A few moments passed and they both realized at the same time that they had fifty five minutes left and neither one had said a word since they entered the plane. Lana took another sip of the champagne. She said something to try to break the ice between them.

”This is good champagne.”

Clark nodded and made an honest but clipped reply.

”To be perfectly honest with you I wouldn’t know good champagne from bad champagne.”

Lana made a slight chuckle at what she thought was Clark’s attempt at humor. But he didn’t follow up and said nothing more. Lana waited a few moments more but said nothing. Both were realizing that although they felt an enormous physical attraction to each other, this was the first time they had ever been alone. It is one thing to carry on a conversation with the help of a group. It is quite another thing to maintain a conversation between two people who essentially don’t know one another. The unexpected silence planted the seed of doubt in both of them. The doubt that maybe they had nothing in common and the attraction they felt was just a flash in the pan. This doubt was growing rapidly with each uncomfortable second that passed. Lana took another sip of the champagne then she put the glass down.

”Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

She rose from her seat and moved towards the door, wanting to extricate herself from the uncomfortable environment as quickly as possible. Lana was almost through the door when she heard Clark’s voice.

”I dream of you.”

Lana stopped and turned around. Clark kept his head down and wouldn’t face her. She walked back to the table, picked up her chair and moved it closer to him and sat down. She maneuvered her head so that he couldn’t escape from meeting her eyes.

”What do you dream?”

Clark was struggling to find the right words. He looked deep into Lana’s eyes and then his own eyes opened wide as he became startled by his own thoughts.

”Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not dirty or anything like that.”

Lana laughed at Clark’s semi-panic attack. The thought that she would be the object in someone else’s ‘dirty’ dream could be amusing if it’s the right man doing the dreaming . Then she became startled by her own thoughts. ”Well why aren’t you dreaming dirty dreams of me?” The humorous moment subsided and she took Clark’s hand.

”What do you dream, Clark. You can tell me.”

He thought that her hand felt like it belonged in his. Her fingers interlaced with his as if both their hands were designed to fit together perfectly.

”I’m in Metropolis. It’s a cold and clear night. Couples and families are walking the streets having a wonderful time. I see you and you see me. We say hello. But you don’t recognize me. I’m just someone who’s passing by. And you go on your way and on with your life. And I’m left….alone. Thinking of what could have been.”

Lana was moved by the sincerity in Clark’s voice and his willingness to reveal a sensitive side that most men either hide or deny. She squeezed his hand.

”I don’t think I’d ever forget you, Clark.”

“Not forgot. You didn’t recognize me. I was…. different.”

Lana brought her hand up to cup his face.

”I’d know you anywhere, Clark.”

The smiles reappeared on their faces. The awkwardness of the situation was rapidly melting like the ice in the bucket of champagne. Nervousness was being replaced by the increasing comfort of being with each other, a sense of relief that the awkward silence was only momentary and the realization that the person sitting across the table from you could not possibly disappoint you.

”What are you scared of, Clark?”

Clark was surprised by the directness and the insight of the question. Could she read him that well?

”You’re way ahead of me. Aren’t you?”

“No, Clark. It just takes one to know one.”

He asked Lana the same question.

“What are you scared of?”

Lana answered with a moment’s hesitation.

“Everything is happening so fast.”

Clark recognized the concern of Lana’s face. He nodded his head in understanding. He decided to switch the conversation to something lighter. He had learned his lesson. Now was not the time for a topic that would lead to another uncomfortable silence. With only forty five minutes remaining there was no time waste.

”So how were your two dates with groups A and B?”

“Oh wonderful. Everyone had a good time and all the men could talk about was the loft they were building in the barn and how Clark Kent had somehow brought everyone together.”

“Me?”

“Oh yeah. Bruce and Russell talk about you all the time. Russell calls this the Bachelor Buffet and each one of you is a particular food.”

“A food? What kind of food am I?”

“He didn’t say and I’ve been trying to figure out what food you would be.”

“I’m sure whatever it is it would be pretty bland. Maybe a Ritz Cracker or something like that.”

“No I don’t think so.”

Lana squeezed Clark’s hand so that he would look directly at her.

”I’m not going to regret this, am I, Clark? You’re not going to be an atomic flavored Buffalo wing that looks delicious but when I bite into it my mouth will go on fire? You’re not going to burn me, Clark? Are you?”

Clark was astonished at the question. Even with all of his abilities he never before thought that it was in his power to purposely hurt someone. Especially someone like Lana.

”I would never do anything to hurt you, Lana.”

Lana believed him. She became aware of the discomfort in her feet. She looked at her feet. She had unknowing removed her slippers. She brought her foot up to the knee of her other leg and started massaging it. Clark noticed her discomfort.

”What’s wrong?”

“It’s my feet. I don’t know what’s happening but lately I’m only comfortable when I’m not wearing shoes.”

The word ‘shoes’ brought to Lana’s attention the fact that she wasn’t wearing shoes. She was wearing slippers. She wasn’t wearing regular clothes. She was in a nightgown and a robe. It brought to her attention the fact that she was now on the most unusual and maybe the most important date of her life and was totally unprepared for it. Or rather, undressed for it. She bolted up from the table.

”Oh my God! Oh my God!”

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Look at me! I’m in a nightgown! And I don’t have any makeup on! And my hair isn’t done! Never in my life have I been on a date without doing my hair!”

“Is that what this is?”

“What?”

“Is this a date?”

Lana calmed down at hearing Clark’s question. She tried to holdback her laughter. She picked up a grape from the platter and popped it her mouth.

”Yeah. I guess it is.”

“Well, don’t be so hard on yourself. I not exactly dressed to nines.”

Lana’s eyes moved to Clark’s muscular arms coming out of the short sleeves of his tee shirt. She murmured under her breath.

”You’ll do.”

The comfort level had increased to the point where they decided to eat the food that was spread out before them and not worry about talking or not talking. They were together and that was all that mattered. Besides, they both recognized that a language was being spoken between them that had no words. Lana started to eat the fruit and Clark started to spread cheese on the crackers. Clark would offer Lana some of the crackers he prepared and she would graciously accept. In between they would take sips of the champagne. Lana continued her survey of Clark. She started to notice the chiseled features of Clark’s face and then the defined musculature of his body that was no longer covered by formal attire.

Author’s note: Time for another musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw3nBfufIPw

Her eyes moved from the dark, thick single curl of hair from his full head of black hair that fell over his forehead to the bridge of his nose and his thick black eyeglasses that shielded his blue-green eyes. ”We’re going to have to do something about those glasses, Clark.” She moved from his nose to his mouth and the thought of his full lips on hers made Lana feel warm inside. ”I think I’m drinking too much. I don’t care. This is too much fun.” Her eyes then moved to Clark’s massive chest and Lana almost lost her breath and choked on a grape.

”Lana, are you alright?”

Lana regained his breath as the grape popped free but was having difficulty regaining her composure.

”I’m fine. Never been better.”

Lana’s eyes moved down Clark’s chest to his abdomen. She imagined running her hands across his lean stomach. ”I wonder if he’s ticklish.” Lana’s eyes then went below his stomach and below the waistband of his sweatpants. For a moment she imagined she possessed Superman’s X-ray vision and was looking through the fabric of his pants at his…..

”Oh God!”

“What? What is it?”

Lana quickly took another sip of her champagne. Then she started to giggle.

”Lana, what is it?”

“I just had a funny thought.”

“What?”

“Well, for a moment I was imagining what it would be like to be Superman.”

Clark didn’t know how to answer her. He had never thought of being Superman as particularly funny. Right now his mind was focused on his own internal struggle. It was extremely difficult for him not to look at her. He thought he was being rude in the way he was staring but she was so pleasing to the eye he couldn’t stop. It was as if some unseen force held his eyes in her direction and he didn’t have the strength or the desire to fight it. He had never seen such luxurious hair. He wanted to reach out and run his fingers through it but dared not even touch it. Her lips were moist and her mouth was slightly open as if she was issuing an invitation. He didn’t understand what she needed makeup for. Her complexion was smooth and creamy and without flaw. He imagined placing light kisses on her skin to feel its softness. Images entered his mind of Lana lying flat on her stomach with her bare back to him. He would place small kisses on her shoulders and then move down her spine to the lower curve of her back. Then he would move down to her…”Get a hold yourself, Clark. Oops. Poor choice of words. Damn.”

Lana was eating a fresh strawberry. She didn’t shove it into her mouth but took little nibbles. Clark could catch glimpses of Lana’s tongue moving over the fruit to savor it. He moved from her mouth to her eyes and felt like he was entranced as she met his look with her own. She wasn’t shy at all about locking her eyes with his. He noticed that Lana had now leaned back in her seat and crossed one leg over the other. The belt of her robe had loosened around her tiny waist and the robe had opened to reveal more of the white nightgown underneath the robe and the silken skin underneath the nightgown. He caught a glimpse of the swell of her breasts underneath the satin fabric of the gown. He could detect Lana rhythmically breathing in and out. Her chest slightly rising with each inhaled breath. A smile came to his face. ”Yeah. I can imagine what it’s like to be Superman too…..Wait a minute. I am Superman.” He couldn’t keep the smile from forming on his face as he fought off the temptation to activate his X-ray vision.

”What?”

Clark returned from his imaginary journey of exploring the untamed and unexplored continent of Lana Lang.

”Hmmm?”

“Why are you smiling?”

Clark, now totally relaxed, leaned back in his seat.

”That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”

Lana was speechless at Clark’s flirty response. It seemed that under the right circumstances the shy Clark Kent wasn’t so shy after all. Lana thought that maybe the champagne was making him a little tipsy too.

”Oh you dirty dog.”

Lana, who was now slightly tipsy, uncrossed her legs and moved her foot so that it slightly rubbed against Clark’s calf. She could not mask the sultry tone of her voice.

”Clark….”

Before Lana could finish her sentence Alfred’s voice was heard.

”Ms. Lang, Mister Kent, I’m afraid it’s time for you to leave.”

Neither Clark nor Lana could conceal the disappointment on their faces. They looked at each other, rose from their seats and moved toward the door of the plane. Clark was in front of Lana and she pulled on the back of his tee shirt to stop him. He turned to her.

”Clark, this is the third time we’ve been together and the first time we’ve been alone and if you don’t kiss me right now I’m going to scream!”

There is a trait that Kryptonian me share with human men. Where women are concerned they are always the last to know. For a moment Clark didn’t move. Lana opened her mouth.

”Ahhh!!!!...”

At the first sound of her scream Clark grasped at Lana and took her in his arms and brought his lips upon hers. The force of the panicked kiss shocked Lana as her pretend scream was suddenly brought to a halt. But then Clark eased up and moved his lips gently over Lana’s mouth. As this happened Lana’s body instantly responded as she raised her arms, pushed Clark’s eyeglasses off his face and wrapped her arms around his neck while the rest of her body instinctively molded into his. Clark closed his eyes as he felt dual emotions swirl inside of him – the reflex to have his need immediately satisfied and the desire to be tender with Lana and to prolong the moment as long as possible. A voice in the back of his head told him that his own need could only be satisfied by fulfilling Lana’s need and doing so would exceed his wildest expectations. ”Some things should not be rushed.”

Lana also felt dual forces at work. Clark’s strength was overpowering as he wrapped his arms around her waist and effortlessly lifted her off the floor. At this moment she knew he could have forced her to do whatever he wanted and she would have been powerless and maybe not even willing to stop him. But his strength was controlled and kept captive within the bonds of a gentleness that said without words, “I’m not going to leave. I will be there for you. I will take care of you.” This control made his kiss even more intoxicating. ”I could stay this way forever” This was first step in a journey to a place neither one of them had ever been.

Needing to breathe caused them break the kiss but they stayed in each other’s arms. They kept their eyes closed and swirled their tongues in their mouths to savor each other’s flavor. Lana placed her face against Clark’s. He felt the softness and warmth of her cheek. She felt the slight stubble of his day old beard. He became enthralled with the feel of her upper body against his chest and his hands wrapped around her narrow waist. She felt the pounding of his heart in unison with her own. His masculinity enveloped her and her femininity overwhelmed his senses. They caressed each other’s cheek with their breath and longed for more. They lost all track of time and were about to resume the kiss when they were interrupted.

”Ahem.”

They opened their eyes and turned to the sound of the voice to see Alfred in the doorway. Clark was holding Lana in the air. She looked at her feet and found that she had kicked off her slippers. Clark placed her back on the floor. He deeply inhaled to regain his composure and took inventory of his feelings and discovered he was feeling something he had never felt before.

Click.

He was astonished at the intensity of the feeling. He couldn’t define it. He couldn’t measure it. He just knew it was there.

They were moving towards the door to exit the plane when Lana took hold of Clark’s arm.

”You never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“Why are you scared?”

Clark thought for a moment and then answered in a quiet but serious tone of voice.

”It scares me to think that I can’t always protect the people I care about.”

Lana looked deep in his eyes. He had answered her question but she didn’t understand the answer. She decided that an explanation could wait.

”You don’t have to worry about protecting me, Clark. I can take care of myself. I’m a big girl.”

Hearing Lana’s last sentence Clark looked Lana up and down from head to toe.

”Yeah. And in all the right places.”

She took his hand and they continued to walk. Then she stopped him again.

”Clark, this contest is yours to lose. Don’t screw it up.”

**********

As Clark left the plane he saw Russell at the end of the steps waiting for them. Bruce was farther away standing in the shadows. But in the moonlight Clark could make out Bruce’s silhouette. He was standing alone. Clothed completely in black. Tall and straight with his shoulders held back but his head tilted slightly forward. Standing as if he were on guard. Watching. Looking. Surveying. ”Like a sentinel.” Clark had seen something like this before but he wasn’t sure where. ”Was it a photograph? A drawing?” He shook off the thought as he and Lana walked to the waiting vehicles.

Neither one said a word. They opened the doors to the passenger side of the cars, looked at each other one last time and felt a mutual satisfaction in knowing that they had just experienced the best sixty minutes of their lives. They entered the cars. Lana and Russell were the first to drive off. Clark and Bruce followed a minute later.

Author’s note: Time for another musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajwnmkEqYpo

As Bruce drove he noticed that Clark was just staring out the window. Lost in thought. Bruce tried to start a conversation but knew that the chances for an attentive response were minuscule.

”Nice night.”

“Uh huh.”

“Lana seems like a really nice girl.”

“Uh huh.”

“I think Dimitrio has the hots for you.”

“Uh huh.”

“I told Dimitrio that you swing both ways.”

“Uh huh.”

“Do you have your capes dry cleaned?”

“Uh huh.”

Bruce ended his comments. He was sure that Clark hadn’t heard a word. The lights of cars on the freeway flashed by them and Clark came out of his trance-like state.

”What did you say?”

“What?”

“You asked me something about a cape.”

“No. No. I asked if you liked the smoked salmon and capers.”

“Oh.”

Clark didn’t remember any of the food he and Lana had eaten. Bruce continued.

”I also said that Lana seems like a really nice girl.”

Clark shook his head as if he were trying to come out of a stupor.

”Yes. Yes, she is.”

Clark turned away from Bruce and resumed staring out into the dark. ”I don’t think I have the vocabulary in any language to describe how nice a girl Lana Lang is.”

**********

Lana’s car stopped a quarter of a mile away from the mansion. The house was still dark. Everyone was asleep. She and Russell quietly snuck back into the house and went to their respective bedrooms without being detected. She closed the door of her room and leaned against the door. She closed her eyes and reviewed every single minute of being with Clark. She reviewed it over and over again so that it would be burned into her memory and never forgotten.

She removed her slippers and her robe and got into bed. It was almost two o’clock in the morning but she didn’t feel tired. She just felt ‘right’. She lay on her back, closed her eyes and unknowingly and in less than sixty seconds she drifted of to sleep with a smile on her face.

End of Chapter Twelve

**********

[The Black Cat]

Great chapter!!! PPMS!!!

[ClanaGirl]

Love the chapter especially the lovely kiss! it was breathtaking so wonderful! i had never seen a Clana scene like that i need more! I need a lot more write as many chapters as you can!!!!!!!!!!!

[LetMeGo]

I can just imagine them having this romantic meal while dressed in their pajamas. LOL A very memorable date! I love it!

[CaptainObvious]

Absolutely loved this chapter! Rough at first (I mean Clark and Lana's lack of conversation) but thank god Clark told her about dreaming about her.

So was it just a coincidence that Bruce made the comment in the car on the way back to the mansion about Clark getting his cape dry cleaned? Does he know anything? That whole exchange with Clark only saying "uh huh" was funny.

Lana's right. Clark better not "lose" this contest!

Post again soon please!

[ClanaGirl]

umm..CaptainObvious if i may sat this ithink bruce made that comment becasue i think. he knwos C.K. is superman and you're right he cannot lose and better not becasue we all hate Jaosn Teague.

[CaptainObvious]

umm..CaptainObvious if i may sat this ithink bruce made that comment becasue i think. he knwos C.K. is superman and you're right he cannot lose and better not becasue we all hate Jaosn Teague.


That's right, no Jason Teague. Couldn't a few of the guys drop him from Clark's new loft!!!

[ClanaGirl]

That is exactly right CaptainOblivious we should get him and the guys to drop Jason Teague off form Clark's new loft. i mean we all hate Jason so its a good thing letsh ope everyone will embarrass him .

[oldmankent]

Chapter Thirteen

”A First Time For Everything.”

Author’s Note: A musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gru4wmRVV7I&feature=related

The bright rays of the rising sun were coming through the window of the loft. Clark was resting on his back with his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling. He didn’t remember arriving back at the barn. He didn’t remember sneaking back up the steps of the loft to his bunk. He didn’t remember getting into bed and getting underneath the covers. He didn’t remember what time he fell asleep. He wasn’t sure if he did fall asleep. If he did fall asleep he wasn’t sure if had dreamed. If he did fall asleep and he did dream, he certainly didn’t remember what the dreams were about. He did remember with crystal clarity being kissed by someone whose lips were moist and sweet. ”Are you sure that wasn’t a dream? He placed his fingers on his lips. ”That was no dream. I can still taste her.” He did remember holding someone whose hair was as smooth as satin as it fell across his cheek. ”Are you sure that’s not just your imagination?” He inhaled. ”That was as real as it can get. I can still smell her fragrance.” He remembered wrapping his arms around someone so petite, so delicate, so inviting, that he felt she had been molded by a divine sculptor who had formed her specifically to fit in his arms. ”Are you sure you’re not fantasizing about someone who doesn’t exist?” A broad smile came to Clark’s face. ”Oh yeah! I’m sure that Lana Lang exists. She may be dreamy but she’s not a dream.”

The sun had reached his face. He welcomed its warmth on his face. He always welcomed the sun and everything it brought to him. He heard the other bachelors snoring around him and he realized that he wasn’t alone. He turned his head and expected to see MacMurphy in a bunk to his right. Instead he saw….

Nothing…..

But the wall of the barn. Clark continued to turn his head until he saw the floor of the loft and his bunk below him.

He was floating six feet above his bunk. ”Oh damn!” He slowly descended back down to his mattress and breathed a sigh of relief that no one had witnessed his unconscious levitation. He sat up in his bed and the reality of the task before him slapped him in the face. Lana’s words echoed in his head.

”Clark, this contest is yours to lose. Don’t screw it up.”

Clark now had to face the truth of the matter. ”I’m going to have to tell Lana who and what I am.” Now a chorus of voices began to reverberate inside his head.

”Oh! So you’re going to tell Lana who and what you are? Are you going to tell her you’re a Republican?”

“I’m not a Republican. I’m a registered Independent.”

“Okay. You’ve got that covered. Are you going to tell her that you’re cheap?”

“I’m not cheap. I just don’t spend my money on things I don’t need.”

“That’s true. I guess that’s part of being brought up by hardworking, thrifty, and salt of the earth parents. Are you going to tell her that you’re a momma’s boy?”

“I’m not a momma’s boy! I take care of my widowed mother like an only son should. I have strong family values.”

“Okay. Okay. You’re not a momma’s boy and you have strong family values and you save your money and you’re independent minded. So far you’ve got everything covered. Oh. How are you going to handle the part about being from another planet?”

“What?”

“And how are you going to tell her about not having a single strand of human DNA in your body?”

“Yeah, the not being human part. I….uh….”

“Yeah. That might throw a little wrench into the family part of family values. And how are you going to tell her that in your spare time you moonlight as a certain character that wears a red cape and flies through the air like one of the Walenda acrobats but without a net or even a tightrope.”

Clark buried his head in his hands. ”This isn’t going to be easy.”

Another voice deep within the recesses of his mind whispered. A voice from his youth.

”Son, anything that’s worthwhile is never easy.”

Clark softly repeated the words that he had once heard his adoptive father say.

”Anything that’s worthwhile is never easy.”

“You always talk to yourself in the morning?”

MacMurphy was up and speaking to Clark.

”How long have you been watching me?”

“Long enough to hear the words, over easy. What are you thinking of? Eggs?”

“I always talk to myself when I’m hungry.”

MacMurphy laughed.

”Yeah. Me too. Actually my stomach says, FEED ME! What do you say we go get some breakfast?”

“Sounds good to me. Did I ever tell you about my blueberry pancakes?”

MacMurphy and Kent made their way down from the loft to the kitchen. MacMurphy placed his arm around Clark’s shoulders.

”Blueberry pancakes, huh? Clark, you’re going to make some woman a terrific husband.”

**********

The rays of the rising sun came through the windows of the bedroom. Lana slowly opened her eyes. She was lying on her side. A smile formed on her face. She turned and reached over.

The other side of the bed was empty.

”Clark?”

She sat up in the bed and looked around the room but there was no sign of him. Then the door of the bedroom slowly opened and through it came her six foot four inch, two hundred and twenty five pound, black hair and blue-green eyed Adonis husband. He smiled as she came into his view.

”You’re awake. I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed.”

He walked towards the bed, removed his bathrobe, and got underneath the covers with his wife. Lana leaned on him. She closed her eyes and she soaked in his warmth. Then she realized that Clark had not brought in a breakfast tray.

”Clark, aren’t you forgetting something?”

He spoke in between the small, soft kisses he was placing on her shoulder.

”No. I don’t think so.”

She was finding it difficult to speak as he moved from her shoulder to her neck and what started out as little pinpricks of electricity were rapidly growing into large emotional bolts cascading through her body.

”Where’s my…. breakfast?”

Clark wrapped Lana in his arms and turned her into him. Their faces were less than an inch apart.

”I’m your breakfast.”

Lana’s smile widened. She brought her arms under his.

”Hmmm. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

She pulled on him and then pulled him over her. Lana’s lips reached upwards for his mouth. Clark’s mouth was over hers and exploring as she explored his in return. She placed her hands on his hips and moved him to a position that told him without words that she had a need that required immediate personal attention. They moved together as one. Slowly. Rhythmically. Rocking together. Ever closer.

Lana closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Clark’s neck.

”I love you so much.”

She was close and she could feel that he was close too. She could hear his voice in her ear.

”Lana…My Lana….Lana….Oh God! Lana! Lana!!!”

“Lana? Lana?”

Lana opened her eyes. Jason Teague was standing above her. The morning sunlight was filling the room. He held a breakfast tray in his hands. She could smell the bacon, scrambled eggs and freshly ground coffee. Lana bolted up in the bed and looked to her side. ”I’m alone. It was just a dream….Again.” She drew the sheet towards her neck so that Jason could not any part of her body other than her face.

”Jason! What are you doing here?”

“I was knocking on your door but there was no answer. The door was open so I…”

“So you just walked in?”

Lana could not hide her displeasure. Jason was stunned at her reaction. He tried to place the tray in front of her. Lana pushed it away.

”You just don’t walk into my bedroom without being invited!”

“But I thought…”

“You thought what? That you could invade my privacy and sweep it away with some bacon and eggs. I’m not a morning person, Jason! Now get out!”

Jason demurely left the room. Lana laid back down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. ”That coffee smells good.

But not as good as Clark.”

**********

Jason Teague arrived at the breakfast table looking upset and shaking his head from his experience with Lana and her unexpected reaction. He sat down at the table with Somerset and Wayne.

”What’s the matter, Jason? You look like you’ve just had your palm read and found out your lifeline ends… today.”

“I just tried to bring Lana breakfast in bed.”

Russell and Bruce looked at each other. Russell continued the conversation.

”I take it Lana thought your eggs were too soft.”

Jason ignored the slight.

“I knocked on her door and entered her room. She was still asleep. I slightly nudged her to wake up and when she did she went into a tizzy and told me that I never should have entered her room without her consent and that she wasn’t a morning person and to get out.”

“I take it that this is a first for you. Being chased out of a woman’s boudoir.”

“I don’t understand why she would react this way.”

“You don’t understand? Well duh! What if you entered her room and she wasn’t alone?”

The thought of Lana being alone in bed with someone other than himself had never even occurred to Jason. To Jason Teague, the idea that Lana Lang would prefer someone other than Jason Teague was just an unthinkable thought. To Jason, for someone to even suggest such a possibility was insulting. His blood pressure was rising in anger.

”What do you mean, if she wasn’t alone? Who would she possibly be with?”

Wayne and Somerset looked at each other with a ‘no one can be this stupid’ expression as they drank their morning coffee. Wayne picked up where Somerset left off.

”Jason, this may come as a shock to you but you’re not the only bachelor staying here at the mansion and there are eleven other healthy, attractive, testosterone laden men just a hop, skip and a jump away in the barn. If I remember correctly when you were the Bachelor and choosing among the women you tested the waters with Missy Mason before you made your choice between her and Lana.”

Somerset added.

”I think it was more than testing the waters. I think it was more of a deep dive.”

Somerset then started to make a gurgling sound as if he was drowning. Teague was beside himself with anger and jealousy.

“But that’s different.”

“What’s different? Surely what is good for the goose is also good for the gander. If Lana wants to sample the goods in the candy store, well, that’s her prerogative. Maybe she has a sweet tooth.”

Jason thought about what he had just heard. Then his eyes opened wide and he blurted out.

”Wait a minute! Are you saying one of you two had…had…had… your way with Lana?”

Wayne responded with a chuckle.

”What makes you think it was just one?”

Jason’s face was now a crimson red.

”Wait a minute! You’re saying that both of you…”

Somerset finished his coffee and rose from the table. He walked towards Teague and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

”Calm down, Jason. Bruce’s sense of humor is an acquired taste. I can solemnly assure you that Bruce and I were up most of the night talking and we will swear on a Bible that neither one of us had carnal knowledge of Lana. If her virtue was compromised it was never because of us.”

Jason calmed down at hearing Somerset’s words. Just as he was about to leave Somerset whispered in Teague’s ear.

”Now if you could only get the other eleven bachelors to make the same pledge.”

Somerset left the room. Jason was left with his rising blood pressure and Wayne sitting across the table. Wayne got up from the table and brought the coffee pot over to Jason. He poured a cup in front of Jason and then took hold of the sugar bowl.

”One lump or two?”

**********

Lana was preparing for the third group date. Chloe was in Lana’s room to keep her company. The subject of the bachelors had been conspicuously absent from their conversation since Chloe’s arrival. But Chloe couldn’t ignore the fact that when she and Lana were walking through the mansion to Lana’s bedroom Lana happily greeted Bruce and Russell but said nothing to Jason. Chloe didn’t mention the deliberate snub. They were talking about fashion and current events when Lana caught Chloe off guard with her question.

”Has there ever been an instance in the past when the Bachelorette or the Bachelor quit in the middle of the series? When they just stopped and said I don’t want to do this anymore?”

Chloe had to stop and think for minute. Not because she didn’t know the answer but because she was surprised at the question.

“No. That’s never happened. We’ve had one Bachelor and one Bachelorette who went to the very last episode and never picked a partner but we’ve never had anyone who quit. Remember, Lana. You signed a contract. Our sponsors pay us in advance for airtime. If we stopped the series the sponsors would demand their money back. I think if that happened the Bachelor or Bachelorette in question would find themselves in a courtroom in the middle of a very expensive lawsuit. Are you thinking of quitting?”

Lana hurriedly answered.

”No! No! I was just wondering if something like that had ever happened. What’s the success rate of the proposals? How many couples actually end up getting married?”

“Oh boy. The track record isn’t good. For the men who have been The Bachelor, none of them have married. I think there’s one who’s still engaged. But most of them propose and then break it off later. For the women who have been The Bachelorette, the track record is a little better. Trista Rehn, the first Bachelorette is married and is expecting her second child with the man she chose. She’s very happy.”

“Was the man she chose very rich and successful like most of the men here?”

“No. He was an ordinary firefighter from Colorado.”

Lana thought for a minute as she digested what she heard Chloe say. A smile came to her face.

”Chloe, anyone who makes a living going into burning buildings to save other people isn’t ordinary.”

**********

The third group date took place with the remaining three bachelors: MacMurphy, Sheppard and Clark. For this date the trio of men accompanied Lana on a trip to the Planetarium at the University of California.

Author’s Note: The operations of a planetarium have been thoroughly researched in my imagination.

Everyone was led to an auditorium with a curved IMAX type ceiling. The dome where the telescope was located had been opened up earlier and the massive telescope was activated. Everyone expected a projection of a spectacular display of the heavens onto the IMAX screen. The television cameras were turned on as everyone sat down in the auditorium. The screen was activated and everyone saw…..nothing.

There was no breathtaking display. A heavy layer of Los Angeles smog had situated itself above the Planetarium and was interfering with a clear view. The astronomy professor from the university who was the guide the group through the presentation had no choice but to give a lecture on what Lana and the three bachelors would have seen if the skies had been clear. Although the professor was an expert in his field he was not an expert in the art of public speaking or in speaking on television where brevity is of the essence. Soon his extremely technical description of the cosmos along with his monotone voice was leaving everyone in a catatonic state. Speaking on a stage in front of television cameras and under hot bright lights didn’t help. His shirt collar became soaked with perspiration and his nervousness caused a long forgotten stutter to reappear at the worst possible moment.

”Coper….per…per…pernicus was the…the..the…first European to state that the….the…the…Earth was not the center of the u…u….u…niverse.”

Even with the cameras rolling everyone was falling asleep.

Lana was seated in a row with the bachelors on either side of her. Much to her chagrin Clark was on the outside on the aisle with Jack Sheppard sitting between her and Clark. If Lana was going to doze off she would have liked to use Clark’s shoulder as a pillow. On the other side of Lana was AJ MacMurphy and he was about to let out a snore. Lana’s eyes started to close as was Sheppard’s.

Clark noticed that Chloe was standing in the rear of the auditorium

She was wearing a headset. No doubt to listen in on the instructions being given from the Director to the cameramen. Clark activated his super hearing and listened in on the conversation in the studio through Chloe’s headset.

”Somebody please kill me now!”

“Show me the way to go home. I’m tired and I wanna go to bed. I had a little drink just an hour ago and it’s gone right to my….”

“Shut up!”

“Why are we filming this?”

“MacMurphy is snoring.”

“Pretty soon I’m going to be snoring.”

Clark looked around and saw that the cameramen were having just as difficult a time as the spectators and no amount of coffee or Red Bull would help. Clark decided to take action.

As Superman.

He quietly left his seat and walked to the back of the auditorium. No one noticed as everyone’s attention was focused (when they weren’t about to doze off) on the stage in the front of the auditorium. In microseconds, Clark speeded out of the Planetarium, transformed into Superman and launched into the night sky.

As Chloe heard the one of the studio technicians make a loud fake snoring sound into the microphone she also heard someone in the area shout out,

”Look! Up in the sky!”

With his heat vision Clark had cast out a blanket of light across the sky as a beacon to catch everyone’s attention. All of the cameras turned to the large screen that displayed the view of the telescope. There in the distance was Superman hovering in the sky.

”Can we get a close up of him?”

“Not with our cameras. He’s out of range.”

Everyone was now awake. In the distance Clark waved at the cameras and the crowd ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ and their eyes never stopped looking upward wondering what Superman would do next. Clark took a deep breath and then blew at the smog so that it moved away from the Planetarium and out over the ocean. As the screen changed to clearly show the stars in the sky the crowd below erupted in applause. Chris Harrison was heard to say,

”I guess Superman must be a fan of The Bachelorette. Can we get an interview with him?”

Clark wasted no time. He needed to get back to the group before everyone changed their focus. Faster than the human eye could see, Clark shot away from everyone’s view, came back into the Planetarium, transformed back out of his Superman identity and was back in his seat. Lana looked over at him to see his reaction to Superman. She caught his eye and he smiled back. When she looked back to the screen Superman had disappeared.

The screen then began to display the wonders of the universe and the professor became more comfortable in his presentation now that he had a spectacular visual display. Everyone sat in awe of the crystal clear display of the heavens. He pointed to a particular quadrant on the screen.

”Here we have a very unusual event - a red supernova. A red star that imploded on itself thousands of years ago. But it so far away that it’s light is only reaching us now. Actually, we first picked up the light approximately thirty years ago.”

The screen then displayed a computerized recreation of the exploding star. Clark murmured under his breath.

”That’s not the way it happened.”

Sheppard heard Clark’s voice but couldn’t make out the words.

”What?”

“Oh nothing. I’m just talking to myself.”

“What are you….hungry?”

“What?”

“MacMurphy told me that you talk to yourself when you’re hungry.”

Clark tried to laugh it off and nodded his head. Sheppard turned his attention back to the screen.

Lana looked over at Clark hoping to catch his eye. Instead he appeared to be mesmerized by the computer recreation of the exploding star. Then she witnessed something very unusual.

A single tear rolled down Clark’s cheek from behind his eyeglasses.

He quickly wiped it off with his hand and resumed looking at the screen.

Lana made a mental note of what she had just seen. One day she would ask Clark why he was so moved by the presentation. But that day would be in the future. ”Our future.”

**********

All of the bachelors had been brought to the mansion. Twelve roses lay on a table next to Lana. When the program was switched to Los Angeles there were fifteen bachelors. With P Daddy Sugar leaving for medical reasons there were now fourteen. Two bachelors would not be returning. Lana began to choose. Jason Teague expected to be chosen first as he had the first two episodes. He waited with a confident smile on his face.

”Clark.”

Jason had almost stepped forward as Lana began to speak but Cash McCall, who was standing next to him, placed an unseen hand on Jason’s elbow to hold him back and not embarrass himself. Jason’s mouth dropped and it took every ounce of self control that he possessed not to lose his composure.

Clark walked up to Lana and she held the rose in front of him.

”Clark, will you accept this rose?”

For a moment the couple stood looking at each other. Both with a slight smile. Both fighting to control the overwhelming attraction that was demanding that they fall into each other’s arms. Clark took the rose from Lana’s hand. His fingers brushed hers and she felt her skin tingle.

”Yes.”

It was all he could say. He turned and walked to another part of the room.

The names rolled off.

Bruce Wayne.

Russell Somerset.

”Jack.”

Jack Sheppard left the dwindling group of unpicked bachelors and walked up to Lana.

”Jack, will you accept this rose?”

Jack Sheppard extended his hand and then held still for a moment. Then instead of taking the rose he dropped his hand to his side.

”I’m sorry, Lana. I can’t.”

Lana said nothing as she waited for an explanation.

”I realize now that I shouldn’t be here. Last week when we had dinner together Bruce made the toast that the final bachelor should be worthy of you. He’s right. I know now that person isn’t me.”

He turned and looked at the bachelors.

”We all know who the best man is.”

He glanced for a moment at Clark and then turned his attention back to Lana.

”Please don’t be angry with me, Lana. This past week made me realize that as much as I want to be I’m not the right guy for you.”

Lana reached up and kissed Sheppard on the cheek.

”Of course, I’m not angry. I’ll never forget you, Jack.”

Sheppard kissed her on the cheek and told her there was no need for her to walk him to the waiting limousine. His last words were ‘Good luck’.

Lana was about to resume naming the bachelors who would remain when another voice spoke up.

”Wait!”

AJ MacMurphy stepped forward and approached Lana.

”Jack’s right. There’s someone here who is a whole hell of a better man than me.”

MacMurphy turned to the group of men.

”And we all know who he is.”

He took Lana by her hands. She smiled at him and then kissed him on the cheek. MacMurphy whispered to her.

”I wish you all the happiness in the world.”

Then instead of leaving he turned and walked towards Clark. He extended his hand and he and Clark shook hands.

”Thanks for everything. Thanks for showing me the way.”

Then he left the mansion and joined Sheppard in the limousine.

Chloe, who was standing in the background, winced from the sound in her headset as she heard the Director scream.

”Yes! It doesn’t get any better than this. The ratings after this episode will go through the roof!”

Lana turned her attention back to the remaining men. No one else volunteered to leave. There were nine remaining roses for nine remaining bachelors. She called out the names one by one.

She called out Jason’s name last. She spoke in a monotone voice that revealed no emotion.

”Jason, will you accept this rose?”

Jason took the rose from her, nodded his head and gave Lana a half smile. As he walked back to group of twelve he looked at Clark.

Jason Teague had been born in wealth and advantage. He was handsome, athletic and possessed the gift of the gab. From early childhood he had been given the best of everything and had outperformed everyone and exceeded everyone’s expectations. He had gone to the best of schools and when he finished college the road was paved for him to be successful in whatever field he chose.

He had never lost.

This night was the closest he had ever come to not getting what he had set out for. He knew in his heart that he would not have received a rose.

For the first time in his life he would have lost.

He looked at Clark Kent and the realization of what just happened struck him like a blow to the head.

Jason Teague could not the win The Bachelorette.

By himself.

He needed help. Instead of finding a way to win he would have to find a way to make Clark Kent lose.

End of Chapter Thirteen

**********

[ClanaGirl]

hey oldmankent well is there any chance that all the rest of the men can embarass Teague in something and not sabatoge Clark becasue really Jason deserves a lot of pay back trust me!!!!! so please do it. from the moment I saw season 4 with Jason Teague i wanted to crush all the pictures and clips so please make him pay!!!!

[LetMeGo]

Jason is such a jerk! His last thoughts don't bode well for Clark.

[The Black Cat]

Excellent chapter!!! PPMS!!!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Fourteen

”Swing Vote”

The third episode of The Bachelorette was broadcast the following week. The viewing audience was shown selected portions of the following:

1. The trip from Hawaii to Los Angeles and to the Los Angeles Bachelorette Mansion.
2. The pushup contest between the bachelors and P Daddy Sugar’s collapse.
3. Bruce Wayne, Russell Somerset, Jason Teague and Lana Lang moving into the Mansion.
4. The remaining bachelors moving into the barn.
5. The construction of the loft.
6. Lana’s date with Bachelor Group A at Universal Studios.
7. Lana’s date with Bachelor Group B to the Los Angeles Lakers’ game. (Jack Nicholson hitting on Lana was edited out of the final version.)
8. Lana’s date with Bachelor Group C to the Planetarium at the University of California.
9. The unexpected appearance of Superman.
10. The selection of the twelve remaining bachelors.
11. Sheppard and MacMurphy voluntarily leaving the show.

Everything that had happened over a four day period was edited to fit into forty two minutes.

**********

Jimmy Olsen and Perry White watched the episode in Lois Lane’s apartment. The three sat in shocked silence at seeing the sudden turn of events when MacMurphy and Sheppard left the show. After the show ended Perry rose to his feet.

”Like the King said, we can’t go on together with suspicious minds.”

Lois and Jimmy looked at each other with an expression that said, “Why does everything Perry says have to begin with a quote from Elvis?” Both Lois and Jimmy turned back to Perry as if they were seeking his guidance.

”Like I said, we can’t go on together with suspicious minds. There’s something going on there that we’re not seeing.”

Jimmy, in what would be a regretful moment in losing his self control, blurted out.

"Well, yeah! Four days has been edited down to forty two minutes. I’m sure there’s a lot we’re not seeing.”

Perry straightened out and stood erect. Like an animal ready to attack, he moved to within inches of Jimmy’s face.

”Oh! So you’ve become an expert in the field of television broadcasting?”

Jimmy was visibly stunned by Perry’s assertive tone of voice and aggressive manner. He began to back away from his boss.

“Well no, Chief. I….”

Perry was moving forward like a heavyweight boxer sensing a knockout.

“I supposed they called you on the telephone for your expert opinion!”

“Well no, Chief. I didn’t mean it to sound that….”

Perry’s face was now beet red.

“I suppose you think you should have my job!”

Jimmy felt his that his bladder was about to empty. Lois recognized the expression on Jimmy’s face. ”Oh no, Jimmy! You’re not going to pee on my rug!” It was at this point that Lois interrupted the confrontation to save her carpet and Jimmy’s life.

”Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold on, Perry! Jimmy didn’t mean anything. He was just repeating what you just said. He was just doing it in a different way.”

Jimmy picked up on Lois’ maneuver and became very apologetic.

“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, Chief! That’s what I was doing! I was just saying what you already said. Of course, I can’t say it the way you can. That’s why you’re the editor-in-chief and I’m just a nobody photographer.”

Jimmy’s pseudo-apology seemed to appease Perry. Perry was returning to his usual jovial but clueless self. He placed his arm around Jimmy like a father would to a son.

”Jimmy, I know you don’t understand why I always quote the King. It’s because a man in my position has to quote from the best. You don’t hear me saying, ‘She loves you. Ya. Ya. Ya.’ No I quote from the King. Because the King is….is…the King. He’s not some multi-legged bug. No. He’s the King. I’m sorry I lashed out at you, Jimmy. It’s just that I’m worried.”

Lois was as stultified as Jimmy in hearing Perry’s little speech.

”Perry, why don’t you tell us what’s really on your mind?”

“Lois, have you heard from Clark?”

“No. Why should I hear from Clark?”

“Well, aren’t you and Clark partners?”

“Perry, Clark quit. Remember?”

“Oh! There you go again. You know and I know Clark didn’t quit.”

Lois looked at Jimmy with a ‘Please Shoot Me’ expression. Perry continued.

”Clark is onto something. First, he builds a loft. Now why would he do that?”

“Maybe he’s got a thing for lumber.”

Jimmy was about to laugh at Lois’ remarks but made the effort to contain himself so that Perry would not go ballistic again.

”No. It has nothing to do with lumber. Then, he makes a window in the barn so he has a direct view of the mansion. Now why would he do that?”

Jimmy said the first thing that came into his head.

”He wants to catch a glimpse of the Bachelorette in her panties?”

“No! No! No! Jesus, Jimmy! Haven’t you learned anything? Remember. The story always comes first with Clark. He had no interest in Lana Lang.”

Perry moved Jimmy, grabbed a hold of Jimmy’s face and started moving his jaw up and down with his fingers.

”Now repeat after me. Clark Kent has no interest in Lana Lang.”

“Cla… Ken… as… no… interest...in… Ana…. Ang.”

“Again!”

“Cla… Ken… as… no… interest….in… Ana…. Ang.”

Perry let go of Jimmy. Then he started to pace across the room.

”Clark builds a loft. He puts the bachelors to work and two of the bachelors volunteer to leave. Why would he do that?”

Perry continued to pace back and forth across the room. Lois and Jimmy just looked at one another but said nothing. Lois thought, ”I think Perry’s losing it because Clark isn’t here. I never knew until now just how important Clark was for Perry’s sanity. And mine. Clark, please come back. Perry is driving me crazy!” Perry stopped and snapped his fingers.

”That’s it! The loft is not a loft.”

Again, Lois and Jimmy raised their eyebrows and looked at each other before looking back at Perry.

”The loft isn’t a loft? Than what is it?”

“It’s a stage!”

Jimmy and Lois had no idea of what Perry was talking about. Perry was excited as if he were Edison discovering the light bulb.

”Can’t you see? Just like Bob Woodward had a signal to contact Deep Throat, Clark has devised a signal for us. Clark is trying to communicate to us through an Elvis song! I told you Clark was brilliant.”

Lois and Jimmy blurted out at the same time.

”An Elvis song?”

“That’s right. Haven’t you ever listened to Are You Lonesome Tonight?”

Lois and Jimmy dropped on the sofa. They could not disguise that they were totally flabbergasted and confused. Perry, in a very poor Elvis Presley imitation, recited the lyrics of the song.

”You know someone said that the world’s a stage and each must play a part.
Now the stage is bare and I’m standing there with emptiness all around.
And if you won’t come back to me then make them bring the curtain down.

Can’t you see? Clark is standing on the stage alone and he’s afraid the curtain will come down. He needs help. He can’t come to us. He wants us to come back to him.”

Lois got to her feet and placed her hand on Perry’s arm.

”Perry, maybe you’re thinking about this too much. Maybe, everything is just as it seems. Maybe Clark just wanted to build a loft and maybe he really has feelings for Lana Lang. Maybe nothing is wrong and maybe there is no story except the story of Clark and Lana.”

“No! No! No! Clark needs help! He’s calling out to us! Lois! What happened with that cousin of yours? The one who works in the television business?”

“My cousin, Chloe? I’ve been playing telephone tag with her but we haven’t been able to talk in real time. She left me a message that she’s actually working on The Bachelorette?”

“She’s working on The Bachelorette! That’s perfect! Can’t you see? The stars are aligning!”

Lois swallowed hard. ”Oh no. Why’d I have to open my big mouth?” Perry now told hold of Lois’ arm and he motioned for Jimmy to join them.

”Lois, get on the first plane to Los Angeles! Tell your cousin you’re coming to cover the show. Take Jimmy with you.”

“But Perry….”

“But Chief….”

Perry stopped them from talking. He placed his hands on their shoulders like a football coach trying to psyche up his players

”Lois….Jimmy…..We can’t let the curtain come down on Clark!”

**********

Oliver Queen was sitting in his apartment with his friends, Bo, Smitty, Chico and Luke. They had just finished watching the third episode of The Bachelorette. Luke was the first to speak. He shouted out.

”This is unbelieveable! Here we are, four young, good looking, intelligent, well off, single guys and instead of going out and getting laid we’re sitting here watching this stupid program! This is chick stuff. This isn’t guy stuff. If we’re going to watch TV we should either be watching the Ultimate Fighting Championship or watching porn.”

A collective groan rose up. Chico answered Luke.

”I’d leave you out of the ‘good looking’ and ‘intelligent’ part.”

Smitty added.

”Luke, you wanna get laid? Then learn from the master. Kent is incredible!”

Everyone turned their attention to Smitty. After the second episode Smitty had convinced everyone that Clark and Lana had already been intimate by the manner in which they were sitting close to each other at the dinner table. In the past week everyone had become convinced that Smitty was an expert in psychology and human sexuality. Smitty continued his lesson.

”Oliver’s friend, Clark, has gone from being the last one picked to being the first one picked. And you know why?”

Everyone drew closer to Smitty and let out a collective,

”Why?”

“Because Kent is so good in the sack that Lang can’t even hide how much she wants him anymore.”

“How do you know that?”

“It’s the telescope, man. Once the telescope opened up Lana couldn’t help herself. She’s like the Manchurian Candidate of sex. The telescope pops out and she wants Clark to pop her.”

Luke became excited and spoke up.

”Oh yeah! Yeah! I read about that! The telescope is a Phobic Symbol to Lana.”

There was a collective rising of everyone’s eyebrows at Luke’s comment.

”Phobic symbol?”

“Yeah. You know. One of those Freudian Phobic symbols.”

“You mean Phallic Symbol!”

Everyone tried to ignore Luke while Smitty continued the lecture.

”He’s right. The telescope is a phallic symbol to Lana. That’s why she’s now picking Clark first. The dome opening up was Lana opening up her legs to receive Clark and the telescope coming out was Clark responding to Lana’s invitation. Just like a peacock strutting his plume.

Not only does Clark Kent know how to attract a woman like Lana Lang, he’s got the equipment to keep her satisfied.”

Once again the men sat in silence in awe of Clark Kent.

Gradually the men got to their feet to get food and beer or go to the bathroom. Bo spoke to his best friend, Oliver.

”So how are things with you and Lois?”

“Terrible. She still won’t return my calls. She sends back my letters unopened. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t work. The highlight of my week is having you guys over here.”

“That’s bad.”

“I know it’s bad. Without sleep I’m a wreck.”

“No. That’s not what I mean. It’s bad that the four of us are the highlight of your week.”

“I don’t know what to do, Bo.”

“You need help, Oliver. But not from us. You need professional help.

“A shrink?”

“Either that or a hooker with big breasts.”

Oliver nodded his head in understanding. Bo placed his arm around Oliver.

”I wish there was something I could do for you, man.”

Luke had returned from the bathroom. He saw Oliver was leaning into Bo with his head down in despair and Bo with his arm around his friend.

”What are you guys doing? The San Francisco Two Step?”

Both Oliver and Bo looked up at him.

”What?”

“Well look at you guys with your arms around each other. Maybe you don’t need women anymore now that you’ve got each other. Stop this touchy feely crap! It gives me the creeps!”

Both men became self conscious. Bo dropped his arm off of Oliver. There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence when Oliver jumped to his feet and snapped his fingers.

”That’s it!”

His four friends gathered around him.

”What?”

“Bo! What you said! You said I need help. And MacMurphy said that everyone knew who the best man is. That’s it! I need Clark’s help!”

Everyone was trying to understand just what Oliver’s point was.

”Okay. So what are you trying to say, Oliver?”

“I need Clark’s help! He’ll know what to do! I’m going to Los Angeles!”

The four friends stood around with an expression that said, ‘This is nuts!’ Then Oliver’s four friends stiffened their spines and stood up straight. Luke tried to pull in his stomach. They circled Oliver like four Musketeers with Bo taking on the role of D’Artagnan.

”Oliver….If you’re going to Los Angeles….We’re going with you.”

Luke became overly exited at the prospect of the four of them traveling to Los Angeles with Oliver.

”This is so cool, man! We’re like the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse! We’re going to kick butt!”

“There are five of us, you idiot.”

Everyone glared at Luke.

”If we’re the Four Horsemen, then you must be Pestilence.”

**********

The next episode of The Bachelorette would be governed by rules that were similar to that of the third episode.

Three bachelors would live in the mansion with Lana for three days.
They would be chosen by picking a number out of a bowl. (The producers decided that this was the safest way to ensure the bachelors’ safety.)
The nine remaining bachelors would live in the barn and have three dates with Lana.
There would be two group dates with four bachelors each and Lana.
There would be a date with Lana for a single bachelor from the barn.
The single bachelor would be chosen by a vote from the nine bachelors in the barn with the only rule that a bachelor could not vote for himself.
At the end of the episode the remaining bachelors would be cut from twelve to six.
Instead of giving a rose to those men who would stay, Lana would be picking those men who would leave.

The remaining twelve bachelors (in alphabetical order) were:

1. Hugh Coulter
2. Clark Kent
3. Cash McCall
4. Umberto Nicolini
5. Dennis Richardson
6. Victor Schaffley
7. Michael Scott
8. Russell Somerset
9. Jason Teague
10. Vincent Terranova
11. Thomas T. Thomas
12. Bruce Wayne

Once again the twelve bachelors gathered outside the barn. A limousine traveled the short distance from the Mansion to the barn. Chris Harrison was the first to exit the vehicle. He held out his hand and helped Lana out of the car. She was dressed casually but still the men couldn’t help but admired her beauty. An SUV followed them and Chloe and Dimitrio exited that vehicle. As always, Dimitrio gave Clark an exuberant greeting.

”Hi Clarkie!!!”

Dimitrio blew a kiss towards Clark. Then Dimitrio, carrying the bowl with names of the bachelors, moved to Lana.

”Clarkie’s a darling. Isn’t he?”

Lana gave Dimitrio a small smile. ”I don’t think he’s your type, Dimitrio.” Then she looked at Clark. ”At least, he better not be your type.”

Dimitrio held the bowl in front of Lana and she drew the first name. She gave it to Chris Harrison and he made the announcement.

”Victor Schaffley!”

Schaffley left the group and joined Lana. She allowed him to kiss her on the cheek. Then she drew the next slip of paper and handed it to Harrison.

”Dennis Richardson!”

Richardson left the group and joined Lana and Schaffley. Lana picked the final name.

”Hugh Coulter”

Harrison then informed the remaining bachelors would hold their vote for the single date with Lana on the following day. They would have the night to think it over.

The three bachelors were ecstatic about being chosen to spend the next three days in the Mansion. Lana, always well mannered and aware of hurting anyone’s feelings, feigned a similar enthusiasm of the choices. But she couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment. She expected the disappointment at not being able to share the next three days with Clark. But she had grown to like Wayne and Somerset and even though she did not have the same feelings for them as she had for Clark, she considered them her dearest friends. She would miss their humorous conversations. Schaffley, Richardson, and Coulter were fine men but there was only one man that she felt the ‘click’ with.

But Lana was determined to give these men a fair chance. She knew it would be wrong to treat these three men differently than any of the other bachelors. First, they were putting their hearts on the line just as she was. Second, she had a contractual obligation to the network. Being a businessperson, Lana keenly felt the importance of honoring all commitments. But most importantly, she would use this time away from Clark as a barometer of her own feelings.

It still scared Lana that her feelings towards Clark had developed so quickly. She calculated that the total amount of hours they had spent together had been less than a single day. ”Do I really trust my own feelings?” Her conversation with Chloe weighed heavily on her mind. Hardly any of the couples had stayed together. None of the Bachelor men had married. Only one of the Bachelorette women had married. Her parents had been married for thirty years and they were more in love with each now than the day they exchanged vows. This is what Lana aspired to. If her time away from Clark created the slightest shadow of a doubt about how she felt than she knew that the time spent away from him was not wasted.

Would absence make the heart grow fonder?

Would the cream rise to the top?

Clark was finding it more and more difficult to keep his emotions locked inside. It was getting more and more difficult to see Lana with other men. He hoped to catch her eye. Looking for a sign from her that everything was okay. But she didn’t look in his direction. Voices inside of him were telling him that drastic action was necessary.

"Clark, just transform into Superman and go get her. Haven’t you ever heard of sweeping a girl off her feet? That’s what you would be doing. You’d be literally sweeping her off her feet! Go for it!”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t. It would be too much of a shock to her.”

“Oh! You’re a wus!”

He now had two options available. A group date with three other bachelors or a single date with Lana. The single date would depend on the vote of the other bachelors.

The selection had worked out as Jason Teague had hoped. He considered the three men who were chosen to be vanilla flavored and not a threat. But he realized he was without a chance of winning Lana by his own means and he needed to manipulate the situation to his own favor. He was depending on securing the single date with Lana. On that date he would say and do whatever was necessary to regain her favor. He looked over the remaining bachelors as they entered the barn and made his calculations as to how they would vote.

Somerset and Wayne were sure to vote for Clark.
McCall and Thomas were sure to vote for Teague.
You couldn’t vote for yourself so he calculated that both he and Clark would vote for someone who didn’t have a chance of winning.

The three remaining bachelors, Nicolini, Scott and Terranova, would be the keys to the vote.

Teague thought that it was probable that Nicolini would vote for Clark since they developed a rapport in Nicolini’s native tongue during the dinner of the second episode.

Teague considered Michael Scott to be a buffoon with an enormous and unwarranted ego who could vote either way. He would spend the next day with Scott, stroking his ego. Telling him everything he wanted to hear. ”Maybe I’ll even offer him a job. He can be my official butt kisser.”

That left the count at three to three.

Terranova was the unknown. Terranova was the random element.

Teague looked at Terranova and saw a ruggedly handsome man who stood over six feet tall and looked like he worked out at a gym every day. He had a full head of dark hair slicked back over his head and chest full of hair sticking out of his opened shirt. He probably started getting a five o’clock shadow when he entered adolescence. ”I bet a guy like Terranova is used to getting sex on regular basis. Like every day. It must be tough for him being here.”

A smile came to Jason’s face. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and hit a preset number.

”Hello, Missy. It’s me, Jason. I need your help.”

**********

The nine bachelors had made themselves as comfortable as possible in the barn. Somerset and Wayne, being new to the setup, got a cold dose of what it was like when they took a shower and discovered there wasn’t any hot water. Afterwards the nine men gathered in group and just traded small talk. Everyone avoided the 800 pound gorilla in the room - the next morning they would vote for someone to go on a single date with Lana. Bruce Wayne knew that he and Somerset would vote for Clark. He could see that Clark was once again having an animated conversation with Nicolini in Italian. He counted a sure three votes for Clark.

He assumed that McCall and Thomas were in Teague’s corner. He observed that Jason Teague had spent most of the day with Michael Scott. Both men were laughing and having a fabulous time or so it seemed. ”Teague wouldn’t give that idiot, Scott, the time of day if it wasn’t for his vote.” That left Terranova. Wayne spoke privately to Somerset.

”So what do you think?”

“I think it’s going to come down to a single vote.”

“Terranova?”

“Of course.”

“What do you think we should do, Russell?”

“Well, you obviously have something in mind.”

“I was thinking about bribing him.”

“Now how do you think Clark would feel about that?”

“Clark is a man of principle. He’d hate it and if he knew about it he would do something to stop it.”

“And you would hate it too, Bruce.”

“What do you mean?”

“Bruce, you and I have had conversations about the corruption in Gotham City, I know how much you despise the underhanded dealings in your city. Would you compromise your values just to get the result you wanted?”

Bruce didn’t expect this type of response from Russell.

”It’s just a silly little television program, Russell. No one would even know.”

“But that’s how it starts, Bruce. First, it’s cheating in school. Then it’s bending the rules of a game. Finally, it ends up circumventing the laws of the land. Its one thing I’ve observed about this Superman of yours. He does obey the law. There are many times when he could have taken the law into his own hands and no one would have complained. But he didn’t. He draws a line and he doesn’t cross it.”

“Unlike the Batman.”

“I didn’t say that, Bruce.”

“You didn’t have too.”

Both men were silent for a moment. Then they broke out in smiles because they perfectly understood each other. Somerset spoke.

”Perhaps Gotham’s Batman could learn a thing or two from Metropolis’ Superman.”

Wayne nodded his head in understanding.

”So we do nothing?”

“We do nothing and let the chips fall where they may.”

Both men were silent for a few moments. Each man looked directly into the other’s eyes and then Wayne spoke.

”You were kidding about doing nothing? Right?”

“Of course. I didn’t win two Oscars for nothing. Let me make a phone call.”

**********

Vincent Terranova had spent most of the day thinking over the situation and the vote that would take place in the morning. He was certain that he would not win the vote. He was certain that his time on the program would soon come to an end. ”It’s pretty obvious who Lana favors and it’s not me. That’s okay. It’s been fun.” His bunk bed was in a corner of the barn. He moved his bed far away from everyone else so that he would be disturbed by the snoring, grunting, sniveling, farting and other sounds that grown men make while sleeping.

The barn was dark. Everyone was asleep. Terranova was about to doze off when he felt something near him. Rather, he felt someone near him. A hand was on his leg. ”This better not be Dimitrio!” There was just enough moonlight coming through the opening in the loft of the barn so that Vincent wasn’t entirely blind. He balled up his fist to punch who he thought was Dimitrio by his bedside. He lifted his head from his pillow and lifted his fist.

”Take this you son of a……”

He stopped when he saw that it was a woman by his bed. Even in the dim light he could see that she was very attractive. She had short blonde hair and large eyes. She wore a white tee shirt that barely contained her braless breasts. She placed her index finger to her mouth and whispered.

”Shhh!!!”

Terranova whispered back.

”Who are you?”

“Hi. I’m Simone.”

“Simone? Simone, what are you doing here?”

Simone was on her knees and placed her hand on his chest as she smiled at him.

”I just had to meet you, Vincent. I’ve been watching the show and I’ve become a Terranova groupie.”

“A Terranova groupie?”

“Uh huh. MacMurphy had a following. So did P Sugar Daddy. But they’re nothing compared to a man like you.”

Terranova mind didn’t know how to respond. But his body was responding to Simone’s hand moving across his shirtless chest. She moved her head closer to his face.

”You must think I’m some kind of a nut.”

“Well, it’s kind of strange for someone to sneak in here and….”

Her hand was now caressing the inside of his thigh.

….and….and….no…no…I don’t think you’re a nut.”

She was now sliding into bed next to him.

”I’m glad. I have to say that you’re much better looking in real life than you are on television.”

“Really?”

“Uh huh.”

Her face was near his neck and she was sniffing his skin.

”Oh! And you smell so good! What is that aftershave you’re wearing?”

“It’s just soap. I took a shower before I went to bed.”

“Oh God! You smell just like a man should smell.”

Simone placed a small kiss on Vincent’s neck. A voice deep in the back of Vincent’s mind told him that there was something wrong with this situation and that he should send Simone away. A louder voice within his loins told him to go for it. She started placing kisses on his chest and moved down his torso to below his waist. He could feel her breath on a very sensitive area.

”Vincent, I’m about to give you something. But you have to promise to give me something in return. Okay?”

Vincent stretched out and lay back on his pillow. His eyes closed and he sighed. ”We are the Borg. Resistance is futile.”

”Ooooo….Kaaaayyyyyy.”

**********

Terranova didn’t know how long Simone had been with him. He didn’t know when she left him. He didn’t even know her last name. All he knew was that he was feeling pretty good right now. He tingled all over. ”That girl really knows her stuff.” He was now ready to doze off when he felt a presence by his side.

”Simone. You’re back.”

He lifted up his head to see..

Someone other than Simone.

It was another woman. She had long black hair that went past her shoulders and down her back and chest. Even in the dim light Terranova could see that she was drop dead gorgeous. She also had large eyes and full sensuous lips. She was wearing a white lace blouse that was loosely opened down to her waist and revealed a voluptuous figure. She spoke with a seductive European accent.

”Simone? Who’s Simone?”

Terranova didn’t answer as the beauty knelt by his bedside and whispered.

”My name is Veronika and I’ve been dying to meet you.”

“I never realized I was so popular?”

“Oh yes. I’ve watched the Bachelorette the past three weeks and I just had to meet you before Lana chooses you.”

“You think she’ll choose me?”

“How can she not? To me the choice is clear. How can she not choose a man like you?”

Veronika didn’t wait for Terranova to answer. She moved over him so that she was straddling his hips. She was wearing a black leather miniskirt with a black belt that brought attention to her narrow waist and greatly accentuated her busty torso. She pushed her hips into him. Terranova summoned all his strength to keep from shouting.

”Veronika! You’re….you’re…..”

She bent over and whispered in his ear.

”Yes, Vincent. You wish to say something?”

Terranova could barely speak a coherent word.

”You’re….you’re not wearing any… underwear.”

She pulled up from his face and sat back. She unbuckled her belt and then reached with her hands and pulled her blouse apart, revealing the bounty underneath.

”That’s not the only thing I’m not wearing.”

Vincent closed his eyes as he felt her slowly moving above him and he felt himself quickly responding to her movements. ”Whoever said lightening doesn’t strike twice was wrong. Oh momma! Do that again!” Vincent found himself instinctively moving in unison with Veronika. ”I hope this girl is Catholic.” He heard her soft voice clearly in the night.

”Vincent, after I’m through with you, you will have forgotten that Simone ever existed. I’m going to make you a very happy man. Oh Vincent! Do that again!”

**********

It was morning and the cameras were rolling. Chris Harrison was in the barn with the nine bachelors. Lana was confined to the mansion with the three bachelors that had been randomly selected. Each bachelor was given a small sheet of paper and a pencil. After Chloe handed out the paper and pencils but only counted eight bachelors. She turned to Harrison.

”Terranova’s missing.”

The camera crews and assistants searched for Terranova and found him in his bed still sleeping. They woke him up and pulled him out of his bed.

”Vinnie, what are doing? It’s time to get up.”

Terranova groaned,

“Oh! Not again. I’ve been up aaaaallllll night.”

Terranova was led to the group. He appeared to be totally unaware of what was happening. Chloe came up to him.

”Vincent, are you alright? You look like you’re out of it.”

Terranova was finding it difficult to string together a sentence.

”Oh no. I’mmmmm not out of it. I was innnnnn it most of the night.”

He started to giggle to himself. Teague made a slight laugh. Wayne and Somerset looked at each other and nodded their heads. Harrison spoke to the group.

”Alright gentlemen. It’s time to vote for the bachelor who you think should have the single date with Lana. You cannot vote for yourself. Please write the name on the slip of paper, fold it and place it in the bowl.”

Each man quickly wrote a name and folded the paper. Terranova took a great deal of time writing the name as if he was carefully writing each individual letter. Chloe held the bowl in front of him. He folded the paper and dropped it in while giving Chloe a mischievous grin. Chloe brought the bowl to Harrison. He drew out a slip of paper and unfolded it.

”Bruce Wayne”

Then he drew the next slip.

”Cash McCall.”

All of the bachelors looked at each other. Harrison continued counting the vote.

”Clark Kent.”

“Jason Teague.”

“Jason Teague.”

“Jason Teague.”

Clark kept his head down and his hands folded together.

”Clark Kent.”

“Clark Kent.”

Eight votes had been counted.

”Well, gentlemen. It’s one vote each for Bruce and Cash. Its three votes each for Clark and Jason. It’s down to one last vote.”

He drew the last slip of paper. He unfolded it and read it. He called Chloe over to him and handed her the paper.

”Would you like to make the announcement?”

Chloe smiled as she answered.

”Of course. And the winner is….”

Jason Teague readied himself for the answer. His heart was pounding in his chest. Clark’s heart was also pounding. Wayne and Somerset stood next to each other and kept perfectly still.

”Clark Kent.”

Teague’s mouth dropped. Broad smiles appeared on Wayne’s and Somerset’s faces. Clark felt his heart jump in his throat. Terranova just sat back in his seat with a sh*t eating grin on his face. Teague was about to approach him but then realized that if he did it would have revealed his underhandedness. He walked away from the group and took out his cell phone.

Wayne and Somerset came up to Clark, shook his hand and slapped him on the back..

”Congratulations, Clark!”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m so excited.”

“Save your excitement for Lana. You’re on your own now.”

Somerset heard his cell phone ring. He excused himself and walked away from the group. He looked at the CallerID and answered the phone.

”Hello, Veronika. I was going to call you to thank you. I don’t know what you did but you were successful. If there’s anything I can do for…..”

Somerset stopped speaking because the voice on the other end of line was talking exitedly. Somerset looked over at Terranova as he answered

”What do you mean you’re in love? No. I don’t know if Vincent is Catholic.”

Jason Teague was struggling to control his temper as he spoke into his phone.

”Missy, what the hell happened?”

“What? I sent my friend, Simone, over to the barn.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her to do whatever is necessary to get Terranova to vote for you. Suck his brains out if she had to. Didn’t he vote for you?”

“No. He didn’t!”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well obviously she left some of his brains behind! Never send a boy to do a man’s job.”

“Jason, Simone isn’t a boy. She’s a woman.”

“Never send a woman to do a man’s job.”

“So are you saying that Terranova would have preferred to have his pipes cleaned by someone who carries the Y chromosome?”

Jason was about to explode in frustration but instead he remained silent for a moment and thought over what had just happened. He looked over at Bruce and Somerset. He noticed that Somerset was also on his cell phone and having a conversation with a broad smile on his face. ”It looks like I’m not the only one who tried to influence the vote.” He went back to Missy.

”Listen to me, Missy. I need another favor and this time I want you to handle it yourself.”

End of Chapter Fourteen

**********

[CaptainObvious]

Thanks for another great update! First off, I think Perry has lost his mind. He's delirious about his idea that Clark is working under cover.

I'm getting nervous with Jason and his scheming. His plans to sabatage the votes for the single date failed but if he tries it again with Clark and Lana finds out, it may look different in her eyes. I think Clark is about to be set up.

Keep the updates coming. I'm enjoying this story.

[ClanaGirl]

CaptainObvious i agree with you I don't like where this is goign! i mean teague sending women half naked to Vincent and then Teague burning with fury at Clark this may end badly!

[CaptainObvious]

CaptainObvious i agree with you I don't like where this is goign! i mean teague sending women half naked to Vincent and then Teague burning with fury at Clark this may end badly!


Add to the fact that it appears Lois, Jimmy and Oliver are all heading to Los Angeles can't be good either. What if Lois starts looking for Chloe (maybe at the mansion) and runs into Clark. With all the cameras around it wouldn't take much for a simply greeting to get caught on tape and it looking like something it's not.

[ClanaGirl]

Add to the fact that it appears Lois, Jimmy and Oliver are all heading to Los Angeles can't be good either. What if Lois starts looking for Chloe (maybe at the mansion) and runs into Clark. With all the cameras around it wouldn't take much for a simply greeting to get caught on tape and it looking like something it's not.
I will too add that with Loid,Jimmy,Oliver all hanging out to find Clark and do somehting. thing about it. Ollie thinks that Clark is a sex god htoug he's not. and Lois has to run Bachalorette and jimmy has to tag along. and what if Lois sabatoges the date? youyr completely right the people oculd catch it and think Clark your cheating on Lana gasp......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Fifteen

”All Roads Lead to LA.”

The news of the winner of the vote quickly made its way to the Mansion and to Lana’s ears. To say that she was overjoyed at hearing the news that Clark would be her single date would be an understatement. Lana was ecstatic. But she scolded herself for acting like a loves truck schoolgirl. It was then that she realized that even as a teenage schoolgirl she had never felt the type of anticipation and anxiety that she was feeling now.

But Lana knew she couldn’t show her enthusiasm in front of the three bachelors who were with her in the mansion and she knew she especially could not show how she felt in front of the television cameras. Her date with Clark would be in three days. In the meantime she was obligated to continue with the show and the other bachelors. Lana continued to go about her business in a normal, cheerful manner. She was the perfect hostess to Coulter, Richardson and Schaffley. She enjoyed their company. They traded stories and jokes and the three bachelors were perfect gentlemen. She gave them every chance to convince her that she should reconsider her preference for Clark. But no matter how hard they tried there was one absolute fact the three men could not overcome.

No click.

As much as Lana enjoyed them the more time she spent with them, the more time she wanted to spend with Clark.

Her first group date was with Bruce Wayne, Russell Somerset, Cash McCall and Thomas T. Thomas. The five of them went to the Magic Castle in Los Angeles. There was a visible tension between the Wayne/Somerset group and the McCall/Thomas group. Lana was unaware of the tense dynamic between the two groups but it was clear that the two groups viewed each other with distrustful eyes.

The start to the group date was slow but soon it became a fun time for Lana, Bruce and Russell. A group of magicians involved them in a number of magic tricks. Both Wayne and Somerset were enthusiastic participants. Lana pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Wayne was enclosed in one large box and reappeared in another. Somerset let out a hilarious cry as he was sawed in two and then magically reassembled. He called it his ‘Oedipus Pull Your Eyes Out’ cry. Afterwards he looked down the inside of his pants.

”The Hard Rock Café is still standing. Thank God!”

At first McCall and Thomas were reluctant participants, thinking that such activities were not suitable for adults. But they gradually warmed up to the idea and realized that even adults are allowed to play. Even the serious McCall had to laugh when his underwear was pulled out of his pants in one complete piece.

As the night went on the two groups declared an unspoken truce and did their best to be cordial with each other. In the end everyone went home and went to sleep with a smile.

**********

Lana’s second group date was with Umberto Nicolini, Vincent Terranova, Michael Scott and Jason Teague. During the afternoon they were taken to ABC Studios in Los Angeles. As they walked through the building many of the technical people who had only viewed Lana Lang through a television monitor got their first look at the Bachelorette in person.

”Hey Lou! Lou! She’s here!”

The two technicians who had seen every minute of The Bachelorette and before it, The Bachelor through a television monitor got their first good look at the real Lana Lang as she walked by them.

”Hi boys!”

The two technicians responded by acting like two love starved puppies that were dying to be petted.

Author’s note: Some theme music for this part.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjMqRyio_jE&feature=related

“Humina! Humina! Humina!”

Lana and the four men were led into a studio that held a large audience that consisted mostly of women. They were led to a stage where Lana was seated in a single chair and the four men were seated on a sofa. They had no idea of what was happening until another person came out on the stage.

”Hello. I’m Oprah Winfrey.”

A cheer rose up from the audience.

ABC had flown Oprah Winfrey from her home base in Chicago to Los Angeles for a special broadcast of her daily television talk show. Lana jumped to her feet in surprise. Oprah gave Lana a hug and Oprah shook the hands of the four men. Then she spoke to the audience and to the television cameras.

”Lana Lang has captured the attention of America. First, as the contestant that all of America fell in love with on The Bachelor, and now as The Bachelorette. Lana, how does it feel to be in the driver’s seat?”

Lana wasn’t used to being gushed over but her effervescent personality made her a natural for television. She answered all of Oprah’s questions without revealing her feelings one way or the other. The women in the audience fell in love with Lana. The women that were Lana’s age thought of her as a best friend. The women who were older thought of Lana as a daughter.

Joining them on stage were Blake Whittaker and Chloe Sullivan. Whittaker commented that The Bachelorette with Lana had reached its highest ratings ever and was now ahead of American Idol in the Nielsen ratings. He also stated that Chloe Sullivan had been promoted to executive producer. He expected that the program finale would have ratings comparable to the Super Bowl.

”Lana, Blake Whittaker told me that they had the idea of getting Superman on the show but Superman is so sort difficult to pin down.”

The audience laughed at Oprah’s comment.

”What would you have done if Superman was on the program?”

Lana placed her hand over her mouth because she did not expect such a question and was silent for a moment.

”Well Oprah, I’ll be honest with you. I’ve always had a bit of a crush on Superman. But what woman doesn’t?”

Members of the audience nodded their head in agreement. The mere mention of Superman caused hearts to flutter.

”But I think I’ve got a pretty terrific bunch of guys right here and I have a feeling that the guy who is meant for me is one of the final twelve.”

The audience ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ as Oprah followed up.

”So are you saying that the man of your dreams is here in this room?”

“Well, I’m not saying that he’s in this room. I am saying that I’m pretty sure that the man I want to be with is one of the twelve remaining bachelors, both in this room and not in this room.”

A collective ‘aah’ rose from the audience.

Oprah was friendly and personable with the men. All of them expressed their respect and admiration for Lana. Oprah saved her best interviewing technique for Jason Teague.

”Jason Teague, you were the Bachelor last season and you didn’t choose Lana Lang. You chose the voluptuous Missy Mason. Boy!!!! What were you thinking?”

The women in the audience echoed Oprah’s question. Jason took on a shy expression and shrugged his shoulders.

”Oprah, I’ll say the same thing that John McCain said to David Letterman. I screwed up. I know now that I’m in love with Lana Lang and I hope she gives me a chance to prove it. If she wants me to I’ll jump up on this seat just like Tom Cruise did for Katie Holmes. I’m dedicating my life to her happiness.”

“What if that means a life with someone other than you?”

“Whatever it takes to make Lana happy, even if it’s not with me.”

The women in the audience fawned over Teague’s declaration. Unbeknownst to anyone, Teague had decided that he was not only competing for Lana’s affections within the confines of The Bachelorette but also within the court of public opinion. The program ended with Oprah asking the audience,

”Ladies, who do you think Lana should choose?”

Some of the women shouted out,

”Jason!”

More women shouted out.

”Russell Somerset!”

A few cries of ”Umberto!” was heard in the crowd. A louder cry was heard.

”Bruce Wayne! Pick Bruce Wayne! You’ll be rich!”

Then a section of the audience broke out their SNICKERS bars and began a shout that turned into a crescendo.

”Clark! Clark!Clark! Clark!”

The group left ABC studios and their second stop was at an indoor athletic complex where professional athletes train during the off season. Lana and the bachelors took turns in the batting cages under the watchful eyes of New York Mets third baseman, David Wright. Nicolini tried to bat but was totally unfamiliar with how to hold a baseball bat. Scott was familiar with how to hold a baseball bat but was totally intimidated by the pitching machine even when it was set at its slowest speed which a Little Leaguer could easily hit.

Terranova and Teague easily displayed their athletic abilities and were able to hit the baseball well at any speed. When it was Lana’s turn she got into the batting cage and Jason followed her. Jason helped Lana with holding the bat. He made sure that he was as physically close to her as possible without being draped over her. Jason made sure that as he leaned into her that his head was on her shoulder.

”Ahem.”

Wright was standing next to them.

”I think that’s my job, buddy.”

Jason reluctantly moved away from Lana and Wright took his place. He helped Lana position her arms so that she was holding the bat straight and steady.

”So tell me, Lana. Have you ever held a baseball bat before?”

“No. Not really.”

“Really? I would have thought otherwise.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, I would have thought that a woman like yourself would need a bat to beat off the guys.”

“Are you always so flirty, Mister Wright?”

Wright didn’t answer but just smiled at Lana. ”I don’t always meet women as hot as you.” He noticed Jason pouting in the background.

”I think your boyfriend is pissed that he has struck out.”

Lana answered without hesitation and loud enough so that everyone could hear.

”Oh! He’s not my boyfriend!”

Wright responded.

”I don’t think he swings a big enough bat for a woman like you.”

All of the men looked at Teague and the cameras turned in his direction. Jason used all of the discipline his father had taught to maintain his composure and keep his temper in check.

All attention then turned back to Lana as she solidly hit the pitched baseball. Three of the bachelors gave an enthusiastic cheer. Jason gave a forced cheer. Lana jumped up and down and then hugged Wright. He’s autographed the bat for Lana and she told him she would give it to her father.

The third stop was at a comedy club in downtown Los Angeles. A trio of standup comedians took turns making fun of the bachelors, especially Michael Scott’s dull personality.

The second date was over and Lana had made up her mind on several of the bachelors. The three men who were staying at the mansion: Hugh Coulter, Dennis Richardson and Victor Schaffley, she would say goodbye to. They were wonderful men but they weren’t meant for her. Three more men needed to be decided on. But that decision did not have to be made today. Lana went to bed with thoughts of her upcoming single date with Clark Kent. ”Is he really the one for me?” She fell asleep and dreamed of her and Clark dancing together.

Author’s note: This is what Lana dreamed. I recommend that you watch this clip in its entirety. You just don’t elegance like this anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNJ9hYMkiU4&feature=related

**********

The private jet owned by Queen Industries landed at Los Angeles International Airport. The jet taxied up the gate, the door opened and five men exited the plane. In the front of the line was a short, overweight young man. He raised his arms and shouted out,

”Hollywood, we are here! Let the pigeons loose!”

A voice behind him responded.

”Luke, shut the hell up! Jesus! We can’t take you anywhere!”

Oliver Queen murmured under his breath.

”Why did I bring him here? Why am I here? This is a mistake.”

A large SUV was at the airport to meet the men. The men piled in with their luggage and the SUV left the airport and immediately became stuck in traffic. Long lines of cars and trucks were piled up on the freeway, each vehicle moving at a snail’s pace. It took one hour to travel five miles to the Hyatt Regency Hotel. At the hotel the men were given rooms that were adjoined to a main suite. Each man went to his room and unpacked. Then they gathered in the main suite. Luke immediately found the wet bar and started drinking beer even though it was early afternoon. The other men soon joined in as if they were at a fraternity party. It didn’t take long before the wet bar was emptied of beer, wine and liquor. Then the men called down to room service. In a few minutes overpriced six packs of beer, bottles of tequila and buckets of ice were brought up to the room. It wasn’t long before Smitty found the adult pay per view on the television console. Now the men were drinking and watching multiple couples in multiple sexual positions faking multiple orgasms on the high definition flat screen television. It was mid afternoon and the five men were feeling pleasantly buzzed. Bo walked over to Oliver and placed his hand on his shoulder.

”Just like the old days at school. Okay, buddy. What’s the plan?”

The blood drained from Oliver’s face as the reality of situation hit him. He swallowed hard and then burped out his answer.

”Plan? What plan?”

**********

Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen arrived at Los Angeles International Airport on United Flight 237 from Metropolis. Meeting them at the Baggage Claim was Chloe Sullivan and a limousine driver. Jimmy stood by idly as the two women screamed at the sight of each other.

”Lois!!!!!

“Chloe!!!!”

The two women ran to each other and embraced.

”Lois, it’s been so long! How’s your dad?”

“Oh, the General is in Brussels with NATO. He’s like he always is – ready for a fight. How are you? I saw you on Oprah the other day. You’re now an executive producer. I’m so proud of you.”

“Oh, I’m just lucky that I happen to be with the right show at the right time.”

It was then that Chloe noticed Jimmy Olsen. Her eyes lit up and she scolded Lois.

”Lois, where are your manners. Who’s your partner?”

Before Lois could respond Chloe walked up to Jimmy and extended her hand.

”Hi! I’m Chloe.”

Jimmy was momentarily surprised. Then he put down his carryon bag and took Chloe’s hand in his own.

”Hi. Olson. James Olson.”

The driver picked up everyone’s luggage and the small group began walking out the airport with Chloe leading the way. As they were walking Lois whispered to Jimmy.

”James? When did you become James?”

“Never mind that. Why didn’t you tell me you had a cousin like Chloe?”

“I didn’t know you were interested in women.”

Jimmy stopped in the middle of the airport. He stopped Lois.

”Not interested in women? What are you saying?”

“Nothing, Jimmy. It’s just I….I….I never see you with women. And besides, you wear a bowtie.”

“A bowtie? So just because I wear a bowtie you don’t think I’m a manly man.”

“Jimmy, I didn’t mean anything. I….

Chloe interrupted them.

”Hey guys. Is something wrong?”

Lois answered.

”No…Nothing’s wrong.”

Chloe smiled at them. Then she intertwined her arm with Jimmy’s arm.

”I really like men in bowties.”

**********

”Hey Oliver. Do you think we can get other things through room service besides food and drink?”

The four men looked warily at Luke, wondering what absurd thing was going to come out of his mouth now.

”Exactly what do you mean by ‘other things’, Luke?”

“Other things like….women.”

“Women?”

“Yeah. I mean here we are right near Hollywood. We’ve got good boos. We’ve been watching porno. It shouldn’t be too hard to find some women. The boos and the porno have made me horny.”

“Luke, you get horny just from shaking your naughty bits dry after your first morning pee.”

Luke ignored the putdown.

“Maybe the concierge can help us?”

“You want the concierge to get you a hooker?”

“Do you think he’ll do it?”

Oliver looked at the other three men. They all had the same expression on their faces. As if a light had gone on in each one of their heads all at the same time. Oliver answered Luke.

”I tell you what, Luke. Why don’t you go down to the lobby and ask the concierge if he can get us some hookers.”

“Really?”

Oliver nodded his head and his three friends nodded their heads with him. Luke’s face lit up as if he had found the purpose of his life. As he left the suite to go to the lobby Bo turned to Oliver.

”What are you doing?”

“I figure that Luke will make a fool out of himself with the concierge and get arrested on being drunk and disorderly. That will get him out of our hair until we bail him out of jail.”

“That’s a good plan. What about meeting Clark? How are we going to do that?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet. In fact, I have no idea of what I’m doing. I think I need more beer.”

“I’ll call room service.”

Bo picked up the phone but turned to Oliver before he dialed room service.

”Hey Oliver. What happens if Luke comes walking through the door with five hookers behind him?”

“Then we’re screwed.”

“Literally.”

**********

Luke left the room and staggered to the elevator. The door opened and he entered the elevator. With him was a mother with a young son and daughter who were dressed in swimming suits and who were excited about going to the hotel’s pool. Luke nodded his head and beer burped a hello. The mother didn’t answer and her children clung to her legs.

The elevator opened and Luke waited for the mother and children to exit first. Luke walked out of the elevator and scanned the crowded lobby. He found the concierge’s desk and a smile came to his face. He swayed back and forth as he moved towards his target. He was almost at the desk when Lois Lane, Chloe Sullivan and Jimmy Olsen entered the hotel and went to check in. Luke stopped as he saw the three people walk past him. ”Hey! That’s Oliver’s girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend. And that’s the Sullivan chick. I saw her on Oprah. She’s with the Bachelorette.” He stood still for a moment so that he could digest what he was seeing through his intoxicated eyes. ”The Bachelorette! Holy Crap! They could lead us to Clark!” Luke did an about face and returned to the elevator. In a few minutes he was back at the room and knocking at the door.

”Hey guys! Open up. It’s Luke!”

Voices and muffled laughter responded from the other side of the door.

”Who?”

“It’s me! Luke!”

“Luke?”

“Yeah man! It’s me! Luke!”

“Luke?”

“Yeah! Open up!”

“Luke’s not here.”

“No, man! I’m Luke!”

Luke was knocking frantically on the door.

”Come on, guys! Open up!”

“Who is it?”

“It’s me! Luke! Open up!”

“Luke?”

“Yeah, Luke! Open up!”

“Luke?”

“Yeah man! It’s me, Luke! Open up! I’ve got something to tell Ollie.”

“Luke’s not here.”

The laughter increased on the other side of the door. Luke bowed his head and leaned against the door. He spoke softly.

”Ollie, Lois is here.”

The door immediately opened and Luke fell into the room and crashed onto the floor. Eight hands took hold of him, lifted him to his feet and brushed him off. Oliver stood in front of him and spoke in a panicked voice.

”What do you mean Lois is here?”

“I saw her downstairs, man. She’s with the Sullivan chick.”

“Sullivan chick? Who’s the Sullivan chick?”

“She’s the Executive Grand Pooba of The Bachelorette.”

Chico responded.

”How do you know that?”

“I saw her on Oprah, man.”

Oliver, Chico, Smitty and Bo looked at each other with a quizzical expression. Oliver asked the question that was on everyone’s mind.

”You watch…Oprah?”

Luke nodded his head.

”Yeah, man. Chicks dig it when you watch Oprah. They think that it helps me get in touch with my inner self.”

Bo responded.

”Hey, Luke. What happens when they find out that your inner self is just as messed up as your outer self?”

Bo, Smitty and Chico started to laugh but Oliver interrupted them and continued to question Luke.

”So Lois is here with the executive whatever of The Bachelorette?”

Luke nodded his head and answered breathlessly.

”Yeah, man! They’re here! And I figure that if we follow Lois and the Sullivan chick they will lead us to….”

Oliver finished the sentence.

”…to Clark.”

The five men gathered together. Bo placed his arm around Oliver and handed him another bottle of beer.

”I love it when a plan comes together.”

**********

Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen had adjoining rooms. After unloading their luggage Jimmy, Lois and Chloe met at the bar just off the lobby. They three of them ordered drinks. Chloe was very exuberant.

”I am so glad you’re here. You know, we were supposed to have newspaper coverage from a major newspaper when the program began but the reporter never showed up. Very unprofessional.”

Lois and Jimmy just looked at each other but said nothing. Lois changed the subject.

”So what’s on the agenda?”

“Well, Lana, the Bachelorette, and a single bachelor are going on a very special dinner date. They’ll be going to Le Giraffe right in the middle of Hollywood. It’s a very exclusive, very romantic restaurant. We have all the cameras in place and we’ll be ready to roll. Lois, I hope you brought an evening gown with you.”

Chloe moved to Jimmy and looked him in the eyes.

”I hope you brought a tuxedo.”

Jimmy had an anguished expression on his face. He looked down at his casual attire.

”I do have a bowtie.”

**********

Clark Kent looked at his wrist watch. In ten minutes the limousine would be picking him up to take him to the Bachelorette Mansion. He adjusted his bowtie as he examined his image in the mirror. Bruce Wayne held the jacket of Clark’s tuxedo as Clark put his arms through the sleeves. Russell Somerset joined them. He handed Clark an old coin.

”This is good luck charm my dad swore by. He had it in his pocket the day he married my mother.”

Clark was touched by the gesture. Then he looked at the coin and saw that it was a quarter and the date on it said 2006.

”So your dad married your mother two years ago?”

“Damn. Clark, there’s no fooling you.”

He shook Clark’s hand. Then Bruce shook Clark’s hand.

”Clark, you don’t need luck. If Lana has any doubts now she won’t have any by the end of this night.”

In the Bachelorette Mansion, Dimitrio was placing the finishing touches on Lana’s makeup. Lana was wearing a lavender colored silk evening gown. Her neck and upper chest were bare and the gown curved softly over her breasts. Thin straps of material curved over her shoulders and the back of her gown was open in a V that tapered down to her waist. A diamond necklace circled her neck. Her hair was coiffed off her shoulders so that her peaches and cream skin would be evident to all. Dimitrio let out a sigh.

”Honey, if Clark Kent isn’t in love with you now, he will be as soon as he sees you tonight.”

Jason Teague watched Clark from a distance. He opened up his cell phone and dialed a preset number. He spoke quietly into the phone so that no one else could hear.

”Missy, its Jason. The restaurant is called Le Giraffe.”

Lois Lane was in a stunning blue evening gown that made the most of her hourglass figure. In the lobby of the hotel she met Jimmy Olsen who had hastily rented an ill fitting tuxedo. Chloe met them in the lobby and the threesome was led to a waiting limousine.

In the lobby of the hotel Luke watched Lois, Jimmy and Chloe carefully. His mouth dropped as he observed Lois in her clinging evening gown. ”Holy smoke! Ollie’s girlfriend is really built!” As the threesome was led to a limousine Luke opened his cell phone and dialed a preset number.

”Red Leader, this is Red Six. I have the Breast Star I mean the Death Star in my sights.”

Oliver Queen’s voice blared out from the speaker.

”Will you please stop with the Star Wars crap! Jesus! I can’t take you anywhere!”

Oliver turned from his phone to Bo, Chico and Smitty.

”I’m trying to win back the woman I love and Luke thinks we’re playing bloody Star Wars!”

His three friends, who were feeling no pain, started arguing amongst themselves.

”Ooh! I wanna be Han Solo!”

“You can’t be Han Solo. You’re not tall enough.”

“I wanna be Han Solo!”

Ollie turned from his friends and hung up the phone. He leaned his head against the wall. ”This is so messed up. Please God. I need help.”

”Use the Force, Ollie!”

End of Chapter Fifteen

**********

[LetMeGo]

Oliver’s friends are hilarious! Looks like everyone will converge at the restaurant… I hope Clark and Lana’s date isn’t ruined.

[CaptainObvious]

Very funny update OldManKent! The conversation between Ollie and his friends is funny and I like the part where Jason got smugged by the pro baseball player dude. Of course Lana "he's not my boyfriend" was a good dig to Jason as well.

I get the feeling a quiet romantic dinner at the restaurant will be anything but for Clark and Lana. It may all hit the fan! Could we be so lucky as for Clark and Lana's limo to get a flat tire and they bail on their own for the evening avoiding the restaurant all together? I thought not......

OldManKent....you're on a role with your updates. Keep them coming!

[ClanaGirl]

OldManKent is amazing Lana and Clark will have the best date ever unless missy comes along and tries ot seduce Clark then its over!!!!! but Ollie and his friends are bastards half the time but i love the way they're so funny and how htey all try to win Lois. its silly.you're right CaptainObvious unless their limo breaks down missy will ruin everything. look back and see missy Lana will slap Clark if she's there

[oldmankent]

Chapter Sixteen

”Under The Radar.”

Clark was ready. Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset left Clark alone until the limousine arrived. From underneath his bunk Clark pulled out a bouquet of exotic purple roses from the Netherlands. Before the crack of dawn while everyone was sleeping he had flown to Rotterdam for the rare flowers. The presence of Superman caused quite a stir in the downtown marketplace. The vendor wanted to give him the roses for nothing but Clark declined and paid the happy merchant five crisp one hundred dollar bills.

Clark’s hearing picked up the engine of the limousine as it pulled up to the barn. Clark walked down the steps of the loft and the men lined up to shake his hand and wish him luck. Some were sincere in their wishes. Others were not. Jason Teague was the last in line.

”You better treat her well, Kent.”

Jason used all his strength to squeeze Clark’s hand as he shook it. Clark simply looked Jason in the eye without a visual or verbal response. He let his own vice-like grip do the talking as Jason futilely tried to crush Clark’s hand.

After Clark left and the group of men disbanded Somerset cornered Teague and shoved his pointed finger in Teague’s chest.

”Teague, Clark Kent will drink your milkshake!”

**********

Clark stepped out of the barn. The driver was waiting for him with the door open. Clark sat in the rear of the vehicle. The door was closed and the limousine drove about a hundred yards to pick up Lana. Clark laughed to himself that they had driven such a short distance before stopping. ”Only in California.” The driver left the car and was about to walk to the entrance of the house when Clark quickly left the vehicle and stopped him.

”What are you doing?”

“I’m going to get Ms. Lang.”

“No, you’re not. I will.”

“But Mister Kent, …..”

Clark placed a friendly arm around the young driver’s shoulders.

”This is my date, son. Not yours.”

The driver nodded his head in understanding and gave Clark a smile. Like the other bachelors, the driver had learned as many on the set were learning that it was the little things that made Clark Kent so likable.

Clark walked up to the door of the Mansion and rang the doorbell. The door immediately opened and Lana was standing in front of him. He didn’t know that Lana had been on the lookout from her bedroom window and as soon as she saw the limousine leave the barn she ran down to the foyer of the Mansion to meet Clark at the door.

Any normal human male would have noticed the elegant gown that Lana was wearing. Any normal human male would have noticed how the fabric clung to Lana’s petite figure and accentuated the pronounced curve between her waist and hip. Any normal human male would have noticed the smooth skin of her bare back and shoulders and how the gown exposed just enough flesh to wet the imagination of who could be possessed by the right man. Any normal human male would have noticed how her carefully coiffed hair was softly bundled on her head and exposed the elegant lines of her neck and shoulders. Any normal human male would have seen Lana’s neck and shoulders and would have imagined running his lips over her delicate skin and hearing her sigh in response.

But Clark Kent wasn’t a normal human male and even if he was he couldn’t look at Lana differently from the way he was looking at her at this moment. The first thing Clark noticed was Lana Lang’s eyes. Her eyes were large and bright and when they locked on to his eyes they seemed to grow even larger. As if they were saying, ‘I am so happy to see you.’ Then he noticed her smile as it grew across her face and matched the brightness of her eyes with her teeth glistening in the falling dusk of the coming night.
The first thing Lana noticed was that Clark’s eyes never moved from hers. Even though she purposely dressed to make him notice every square inch of her she was impressed and grateful that his eyes didn’t move over her like a handicapper inspecting a prize racehorse. Instead his eyes and her eyes became one. It was as if he were saying, ‘I know you’re beautiful and I truly appreciate your beauty but your beauty isn’t the only reason I’m here.’ They both spoke at the same time.

”Hi.”

They both laughed at the unintended simultaneous greeting. Then Lana stepped back and asked Clark to come inside the house.

”Let me just get my clutch and we’ll be on our way.”

Before Lana could turn away Clark pulled the roses out from behind his back and held them in front of Lana.

”You might want to put these in some water.”

Lana immediately recognized the unique nature of the flowers. She took the bouquet in her arms.

”Oh my God! Clark! Do you know how rare these are? How did you get them?”

“Oh. I have a friend who has another friend who has an acquaintance. You know.”

She brought the roses to her face and inhaled. The fragrance was intoxicating to her. She placed the roses under Clark’s nose.

”Here. Smell.”

Clark inhaled and his eyes met Lana’s. Through the stems she could see the smile of his face and two small crinkles at the edge of his eyes. She moved away and took the flowers into the kitchen. The production crew followed her and one of the assistants interrupted her.

”Ms. Lang, we’ll have someone take care of the flowers. You and Clark have to get to the restaurant.”

Clark noticed the look of disappointment on Lana’s face. These were ‘her’ roses and she didn’t want someone else to ‘take care’ of them. Seeing that Lana was totally into the moment, Clark intervened.

”If Ms. Lang wants to take care of the roses then let her.”

“But Mister Kent we have a dinner reservation at Le Giraffe and we’re pressed for time.”

“If Ms. Lang wants to take care of her roses than she will.”

Clark towered over the production assistant. The man would have been easily intimidated into compliance but Clark sought to reassure him that there’s a reason for everything.

”As far as the dinner reservations are concerned, do you think Le Giraffe is going to give away our table?”

The assistant didn’t know how to answer and Clark continued.

”Le Giraffe is holding a table for the participants of a popular television program. This is free publicity for them. I guarantee you that they will hold the table no matter how long they have to wait.”

He didn’t wait for the production assistant to respond and he turned to Lana.

”You were going to put those in water?”

Lana was taken with Clark’s self assured manner. He didn’t let the assistant push her around and his manner wasn’t threatening. Rather, his reasoning was filled with so much common sense that it seemed foolish to act otherwise. Clark was also surprised. Yes. He was still mild mannered but he wasn’t going to be taken for granted. Neither would he let Lana be taken for granted.

Lana removed the wrapping paper from the bouquet. She took each individual rose and cut the bottom of the stem at a slight angle with a pair of scissors. She filled a vase halfway with warm water and then placed each individual rose in it. Then she arranged the roses until the arrangement was to her satisfaction. All the while Clark watched Lana and her movements. His eyes watched the care with which she performed the arrangement. His eyes took in the delicate movement of her hands as if she was a surgeon performing an operation. When she was finished she took the arrangement to her bedroom with Clark following her and placed it on a table underneath a window. Then she turned to Clark.

”In the morning when the sun comes through the window your roses will be the first thing I see.”

She now had her clutch in her hand. She turned to Clark and looked him over. ”Oh Clark. Play your cards right and I’ll be jumping you by the end of the night. Cameras or no cameras. I think you are the first thing I want to see when the sun comes through my window in the morning.” She moved closer to him and placed her hand on his chest.

”Let me take care of this.”

Lana rearranged Clark’s white pocket square so that it was more visible from the chest pocket of his tuxedo jacket. She gently patted it when she was done.

”That’s better.”

Their eyes met for a moment. Then Lana placed her arm through Clark’s.

”I’m sure the Director at the studio is chewing his nails by now. We don’t want to keep him waiting any longer.”

**********

At the studio Bud and Lou turned from viewing the monitors to look at the Director. The tips of his fingers were up to his mouth. He suddenly became self conscious and shook his hands from his mouth.

**********

Clark and Lana left the house. The driver held the door open to the limousine and Lana and Clark entered and sat down. They sat next to each other and the vehicle left the Mansion and was soon on the highway. Clark looked at his seat.

”Somehow I feel like we should be wearing seatbelts.”

“Well Clark, all of America will be watching. Maybe we should set a good example.”

Clark nodded his head in agreement. He took his shoulder strap and pulled it across his massive chest and locked the belt into the seat. He expected Lana to do the same at the far end of the rear seat. Instead she moved to the middle of the seat so that she was sitting against Clark. She took the middle seatbelt and wrapped across her narrow waist.

Lana placed her hand on Clark’s knee.

”The roses are beautiful, Clark. Thank you.”

“I didn’t know whether I should bring you flowers or chocolate.”

“You can’t go wrong with either one but you already did bring me candy.”

Lana noticed the quizzical expression on Clark’s face. She explained.

”The SNICKERS bar. Remember?”

“Oh! The SNICKERS bar. Right.”

Lana turned her head from Clark so he wouldn’t see her face and she removed her hand from his leg.

”Is that something you do for all your dates?”

Lana slightly bit her lip. Her question was a ploy that women have done to men for centuries. The answer doesn’t matter. Its purpose is simply to shake the man up a little and gauge his response. Clark felt uneasy. If this were a movie he would have a brilliant comeback that would be delivered perfectly. It would be the perfect response that would be witty and to the point. It would put Lana’s mind at ease and erase her doubts. But this was not a movie and Clark was not armed with dialogue that was tailor made by a writer. He was only armed with the truth.

”No, I usually don’t do that. In fact, I’ve never given anyone candy before…..Or flowers.”

He didn’t want to reveal that as Superman he really didn’t have any dates.

The simplicity and the sincerity of Clark’s response struck Lana. He didn’t attempt to laugh off Lana’s remark. He didn’t attempt to evade the question. He simply answered with the truth and the truth said to Lana that Clark Kent took these matters seriously. Other people might think of the giving of gifts as inconsequential and dating as a game. Clark Kent didn’t. Lana also realized that she needed to do something to put Clark at ease otherwise the remainder of the date would be filled with tension. She placed her hand back on Clark’s knee and looked at him.

”Maybe next time I can give you something.”

It has been said that people who are falling in love are aware of every utterance from their lover. They decode every word and analyze every syllable for its true meaning. So it is that Clark Kent received Lana’s response and two words set his mind at ease and made peace with his world – ‘next time’. He would see her again.

Author’s Note” Time for a musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEkOalwxHlE

A ‘player’ would have already assumed that there would be a ‘next time’. After all, Lana Lang had revealed her feelings for Clark on Bruce Wayne’s jet. She said the contest was Clark’s to lose. But Clark still had difficulty believing that someone like Lana Lang could actually be interested in someone like him. Beneath the surface of Clark Kent was the persona of Kal-El and Superman. The sentinel of the Earth. Always aware of his destiny, his duty, his responsibility. The identity of Clark Kent had been submerged to the point where it was only a tool that was meant to serve Superman. He had willingly sacrificed his life as Clark Kent to take on the role that his father, Jor-El had intended for him. This always meant giving up everything that others took for granted: family, friends, a wife, vacations, holidays, a life, in order to serve a greater cause. There was no regret in this. He simply accepted this as the role that destiny had intended for him. But the words, ‘next time’, made Clark’s heart feel like it was about to burst. It was inconceivable to him that a woman could care for him as much as he cared for her. It was incomprehensible to him that Lana Lang would be that woman. The discovery of this emotion could be likened to the ancient explorers discovering that the Earth wasn’t flat.

Nothing again would ever be the same.

It was exactly this lack of self awareness that Lana Lang found attractive. There was nothing not to like about Clark Kent. He was tall, dark and handsome. She thought he could be strikingly handsome if he had chosen to wear contact lenses instead of eye glasses. He had a full head of hair without any indication that baldness would descend upon him in his later years. He had the physique of an Olympic star but not the ego. Although he was currently unemployed he was part of a respected profession and an author of several books. In other words, he made a very decent living and although they hadn’t yet discussed it, most likely he was on the same educational and intellectual level as Lana. He seemed to be the type of man that mothers love and try to set up with their daughters. Yet, everything in Clark Kent’s personality pointed to an underlying humility and a character inside of him that was forged in strong values. Lana felt he was the type of man she could respect.

Lana Lang felt like she had to pinch herself to wake up from a dream. Clark Kent was too good to be true.

The limousine was now off the freeway and entering Rodeo Drive. Both Clark and Lana looked out the window to see all of the ‘beautiful people’ of Hollywood strolling on the street. As they looked and commented on what they were seeing it came to Clark’s attention that their every move was being filmed and their every word was being recorded. He called Lana’s attention to the camera in the limousine.

”Lana, can I ask you a question?”

“You just did.”

Clark was a little slow in picking up that Lana was joking with him. She poked him in the ribs.

”Go ahead, Clark. Ask away.”

“You’ve done this twice. Have you ever gotten use to having that with you?”

As Clark said ‘that’, he pointed to the camera. Lana shook her head.

”No. Never.”

“Then how do you know whether or not the person you’re with is being genuine? How do you know if you’re being genuine?”

“What do you mean, Clark?”

“Well, here’s the way I’m looking at it. Two people get to know each through their private conversations.”

Lana nodded her head in agreement and Clark continued.

”But here your conversations are never private. You’re always on camera. It would seem to me that you would always be conscious that you’re always on display. I would think that no matter how hard I tried to convey the ‘real’ me, there would always be a subconscious internal defense mechanism that would cause me to hold back. How would you know if you’re getting to know ‘me’ or ‘the me I want the world to see’? After all, isn’t what makes a relationship special between two people what they share – privately?”

There were several things that Lana noticed about Clark’s comment. In his example he referred to himself only and not to Lana. He did not make an assumption as many men do that she shared his opinion. He was displaying a sensitivity to his surroundings that Lana had not seen with the other men. Lana thought that Clark must be questioning the process of The Bachelorette the same way Lana questioned Chloe about the success rate among previous couples. It was obvious to Lana that Clark, like her, was taking this matter seriously and looking at their relationship in the long term. But most importantly, like Clark, Lana was analyzing and deciphering his every word to find his true meaning and what she was hearing now was that there was something Clark wanted to her to know about him. But that something was for Lana’s ears only. This pleased her tremendously. For in reality, although Lana enjoyed being a participant in The Bachelorette, she felt that for a couple to be truly special there must be something between them that they share with no one else.

”I’ve always thought that people tend to be on their best behavior in front of the television camera, Clark. Perhaps, that why so few couples stay together after the program has ended. Once the cameras are off a person’s true colors come out. I agree with what you’ve said but I don’t know what to do about it.”

Clark nodded his head in understanding. They both seemed to be on the same page. The couple descended into what appeared to be an uncomfortable silence. The cameraman was getting uneasy. The Director in the Control Booth at the studio started biting his nails again.

”Don’t tell they’re going to shut up for the rest of the evening.”

“Maybe they’ll communicate through mental telepathy, Boss.”

“Maybe I’ll communicate through mental telepathy that you’re fired.”

The technician closed his mouth and turned his attention back to the monitors.

Clark’s eyes opened wide as if a light bulb went on in his head. Lana sensed his excitement and she squeezed his hand waiting to hear what he had to say.

”Lana, I have an idea. Something that may not give us complete privacy but something that will let us have a semi-private conversation – at least for tonight.”

Lana responded excitedly.

“Clark, what is it?”

“Wait till we get to the restaurant. You’ll know it when you see it. You just have to trust me?”

Lana moved closer to Clark in the seat. She made sure that her hand was firmly enclosed by his as she intertwined her fingers with Clark’s.

”Clark, I place myself in your hands.”

Upon hearing Lana’s response Clark squeezed her hand and smiled. ”You better not say that to me Lana. Having you in my hands – there’s no telling what I would do.” Lana looked Clark in his eyes. Then she turned from him. The limousine was slowing down and the restaurant was within their view. ”Clark, when I said that I was placing myself in your hands I was speaking literally and figuratively. You have no idea of what I would do to you with my hands.”

**********

Chloe Sullivan, Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen had arrived at Le Giraffe thirty minutes before Clark and Lana’s limousine was scheduled to arrive. They exited their vehicle at the front of the restaurant where a line of people had formed and were waiting to get in. The trio was greeted by the owner of the restaurant and was led past the waiting crowd and into the restaurant. There were assorted cries of “Hey! Who the hell are they?” until someone made mentioned that it was ‘the producer babe from Oprah.’ As soon as that was said the excitement increased because it was anticipated that the restaurant would be the site for a Bachelorette date.

The restaurant consisted of three different areas. The middle area consisted of about thirty tables that could seat two to four people each. Each table was covered in a white linen tablecloth that had ‘Le Giraffe’ sewn into its corner. The tables surrounded a dance floor which was also used as a stage for musical entertainment. Surrounding the center area of tables were six private areas with red velvet curtains that could be drawn if those who were dining didn’t want to be seen by the general public. Off the central area was a large area for the bar. The bar was usually filled with people drinking exorbitantly priced drinks while waiting to be seated for dinner and spying the entire area for celebrities.

The center dancing area was brightly lit. The tables surrounding it were more dimly lit with a candle at each table. The lighting in the private areas was individually controlled.

The music was usually placed by an instrumental group that played classic American romantic melodies that could be danced to slowly. Occasionally, Harry Connick Jr. would play at the piano and sing. The musical ensemble was usually located at the far end of the room opposite the bar.

The cuisine was essentially French. But there were occasions when superstar chefs, Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagassi, would lend their services to the kitchen and the menu would change accordingly.

Tuxedo clad waiters and waitresses would glide from table to table with a maitre d’ overseeing the operation. The private dining areas had their own attendant whose responsibility was just the single table. The dining area was designed to give the ambience of a romantic evening overlooking the Seine River in Paris.

Upon entering Jimmy and Lois were escorted across the dining area. They saw several celebrities along the way. One sighting caused Jimmy to stop Lois.

”Hey Lois. Isn’t that Teri Hatcher over there?”

“Who’s Teri Hatcher?”

“Oh, you know. She was in that television series from the early nineties. What was it called? I can’t remember. It was Someone and Someone.”

“Someone and Someone?”

“Yeah. It was two names put together.”

“Simon and Simon?”

“No. That was two guys. This was a man and woman and it was two first names.”

“Tom and Jerry?”

“No. That’s a cartoon. This was something else.”

“I’m sorry, Jimmy. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

As they walked they could see there was a camera that was set up to track Lana and Clark from the entrance to the restaurant across the dance floor to the private booth that was reserved for them. Chloe took them to that private booth and showed them that there would be three hidden cameras that were set up to capture every image and sound in the booth.

”Although Clark and Lana know that they’re on camera we hope that not seeing the cameras will throw them off guard. Maybe they’ll say or do something that they normally wouldn’t do if they think they’re in private.”

Jimmy quickly responded.

”Like what?”

Chloe was surprised by the naiveté of Jimmy’s question.

”Well, there is a romantic atmosphere at Le Giraffe and under the influence of a couple of bottles of French wine couples have been known to let their inhibitions down.”

This caught Lois’ attention.

”What do you mean by let their inhibitions down?”

“I mean…let their inhibitions down. Come on, Lois. You know what I mean. The same way you use to let your inhibitions down with the new recruits at your dad’s Army base when you were a teenager after chugging some peppermint schnapps. It’s not unusual for two people alone and under the influence of alcohol to share something private together.”

“Like dessert?”

Chloe heard Jimmy’s response and smiled at him. She patted his cheek as she walked away to take care of some pressing matters.

”Oh you are cute. Dessert is one way of putting it.”

Lois and Jimmy were alone. Lois could see that Jimmy was still confused.

”Jimmy lets just say that The Bachelorette is looking to get a big boost in its ratings by getting a big boost out of Clark.”

It finally dawned on Jimmy as to what Chloe and Lois had been discussing.

”Holy Smoke! Clark wouldn’t do that….Would he?”

Lois didn’t answer. The manner in which Clark was acting on the show or at least what they were allowed to see was very different from the Clark Kent they knew and worked with. Jimmy continued.

”By the way. What did you do with the new recruits?”

“Shut up, Jimmy.”

Jimmy mumbled to himself,

”It must have been something to do with basic training.”

Chloe waved for them to come to her. A table had been arranged for them at a distant area of the room that across from the booth where Clark and Lana would be dining. Directly behind Lois’ and Jimmy’s table was another private booth where Chloe and her technical team were located inside the booth with three television monitors that captured everything from the three hidden cameras. Chloe was wearing a headset.

”The Director at our main studio will be controlling everything. We’ll be seeing everything that he and his team will see. We’ll also be hearing everything that’s being said between Lana and Clark.”

She then handed Lois and Jimmy two small ear plugs.

”While you’re having dinner you’ll be able to listen in on their conversation. If something happens that you need to see I’ll call you in the booth.”

Jimmy looked at Lois with trepidation.

”Lois, we really don’t want to watch Clark and Lana….together….with their inhibitions…or anything else…..down….Do we?”

**********

Chloe, Lois and Jimmy had no reason to keep an eye out for someone following them. If they had they might have seen the large SUV behind them that had followed them from their hotel and was weaving in and out of traffic. In the SUV were Oliver Queen and his four buddies. As always Luke was making unwanted and unneeded comments about what he was seeing. As he looked out the window he saw Grauman’s Chinese Theater.

”So this is Hollywood.”

“No. This is Antarctica. That’s a Chinese igloo.”

The SUV followed Chloe’s limousine through Hollywood Boulevard and eventually came to Rodeo Drive. All of the men noticed that the people they were observing, the people walking on the street, were very different from the people one would observe in Metropolis.

”Holy smoke! That guy is wearing a dress.”

“Welcome to California. Hey! He’s got a pretty good pair of legs. Are you sure that’s a guy?”

“The moustache is a dead giveaway.”

They followed the limousine until it stopped in front of the Le Giraffe restaurant. They drove past the parked vehicle and double parked about half a block past the entrance of the restaurant as they observed Lois, Jimmy and Chloe get out of the car and be guided into the restaurant. A block away they pulled into a parking lot, got out of the car and started walking towards the restaurant. Bo spoke to Oliver as they were walking.

”So what happens once we get into the restaurant, Bro?”

“I have no idea. I’m making this up as I go along.”

This caused Luke to remark on the line of people waiting to get into the restaurant and the fact that they would have to get to on the end of the line.

”What are we going to do about that line?”

“Well, what do you think money is for?”

They walked to the front of the line where they were met by a very large attendant guarding the entrance of the restaurant.

”Gentlemen, you’ll have to go to the end of the line.”

Oliver reached into his pants pocket, pulled out a folded $100 bill and placed it in the attendant’s palm. The attendant opened his hand and looked at the C Note.

”What am I supposed to do with this? Wipe my ass?”

Oliver carefully at the attendant’s broad shoulders, massive chest and crooked nose that was obviously the result of a lucky punch. Oliver could only imagine what the puncher looked like. Then he looked behind at his friends who were anxious to enter the restaurant. He handed the attendant another C Note.

”I got a lot of hair back there. It gets real messy.”

Oliver placed two more $100 bills in the guard’s hand.

”I’m on a high fiber diet.”

Luke thought he could persuade the attendant.

”Hey buddy! You know, this is Oliver Queen you’re talking to.”

The gigantic attendant looked down on Oliver.

”Yeah? You’re Oliver Queen?”

Oliver nodded his head. The attendant smiled in recognition of the name and rubbed his goatee with his free hand. Oliver couldn’t help but notice that the attendant’s hands were the size of mallets.

”Huh. How about that? Well, I’m Queen Latifa and my ass still needs wiping.”

Oliver groaned and then doubled the amount of cash that was in the attendant’s hand. The attendant examined the money and nodded his head in appreciation.

”Why didn’t you say you were Oliver Queen?”

He poked his head inside the front door and found another attendant.

”Hey Joe. Show these gentlemen to the bar.”

As Oliver and his friends gained entry to the restaurant he overheard one attendant say to the other.

”Take good care of this guy. He pays better than Lex Luthor.”

The five men were escorted to the bar. No bar tables were available and no seats at the bar were available. The men stood among the other patrons. Chico bought the first round of drinks. Oliver had spotted Lois and Jimmy sitting together as he had walked to the bar. The other men scanned the entire room. They all seemed to be impressed that they were mingling with some of Hollywood’s most famous celebrities. Luke found himself standing next to a tall, well built, dark haired man that he recognized. He poked the man in the arm.

”Hey! I know you!”

The man returned a very small smile as if he was very familiar with being recognized when he was out in public. He tried to turn away but Luke continued.

”You’re what’s his name.”

The celebrity just nodded his head and tried again to turn away but to no avail.

”You were in that show. What was it? Someone and Someone. You were with that Bond babe – Teri what’s her name? What was the name of that show?”

The man tried to be polite.

”I think you’re mistaken.”

Luke continued poking the man in the arm while his own drink was spilling over.

”No! I remember you. You’re what’s his name.”

Smitty interrupted Luke and pulled him away.

”Please excuse my friend. He needs professional help.”

Then Smitty turned to Luke.

””Jeez, Luke. We can’t take you anywhere!”

**********

Clark and Lana unbuckled their seatbelts when the limousine came to a stop. The door was opened and Clark exited the vehicle. He was taken aback by the line of people outside the place. ”So much for a quiet little dinner.” He held out his hand and Lana took it and he helped her out of the limousine. Many recognized her and a cheer rose up from the crowd as she stood by Clark’s side. She waved to the crowd with one hand. Her other arm she placed under Clark’s. Chris Harrison was there to greet them along with the owner of the restaurant.

”Monsieur Kent, Mademoiselle Lang, welcome to Le Giraffe.”

Clark and Lana entered the restaurant oblivious to the cameras that were recording their every move. Both were anticipating a night that would change their lives…

….forever.

End of Chapter Sixteen

**********

[CaptainObvious]

Nice update but I'm hanging here wondering what happens next! What does Clark have in mind to steal some privacy alone with Lana? Will it work and what will Clark say to Lana privately? Will Lois see Oliver and the guys in the restaurant and what will she do if she does? Blow him off or melt that he came all the way to LA for her? What about what Teague is planning to ruin Clark's evening with Lana?

Funny reference to Teri Hatcher and that show she used to be on with what's his name.

Keep writing and please post soon. Since the new season of The Bachelorette premiered this week on ABC, your story is more on relevant than ever.

[ClanaGirl]

Nice update but I'm hanging here wondering what happens next! What does Clark have in mind to steal some privacy alone with Lana? Will it work and what will Clark say to Lana privately? Will Lois see Oliver and the guys in the restaurant and what will she do if she does? Blow him off or melt that he came all the way to LA for her? What about what Teague is planning to ruin Clark's evening with Lana?

Funny reference to Teri Hatcher and that show she used to be on with what's his name.

Keep writing and please post soon. Since the new season of The Bachelorette premiered this week on ABC, your story is more on relevant than ever.
hey CaptainObvious you're so right i saw the newpremire of bachlorette too on ABC i too amwondering whetherMissy will try to seduce Clark and then get Lana to leave because of it! what will Lois do to Ollie if she catches him and will she melt like you said Captain Obvious? will Clark find them a closet and start kissing like there is no tommorow? what will they do please don't leave us hanging OldManKent me aand CaptainObvious will reply every time please i need more.;):D;)

[CaptainObvious]

I think it's a pretty safe bet that Clanagirl and I will be waiting patiently for more updates. I must say though that I'm terrible with "cliff hanger" chapter endings and waiting patiently is not one of my strong suits when it comes to a fun story.

Then again, I have no choice so here I wait.

[oldmankent]

Chapter Seventeen

”The Language of Love.”

The couple entered the restaurant and stood at the entrance for a moment with the owner and Chris Harrison to get a feel of the ambience. Lana instantly recognized the likeness to Paris from her travels to the City of Light. As Clark Kent, Clark had never been to Paris. As Superman he had performed several rescue operations in the famed city, the most famous one was when he saved the Eiffel Tower and all of Paris from a group of terrorists who possessed a nuclear weapon. He had to be careful about talking about the city when he had officially never been there.

Lana noticed that about a third of the people were celebrities. Some well known like Alec Baldwin. Some not so well known like Daniel Baldwin. She also noticed the camera that was set to track her and Clark’s movements inside the restaurant and became very conscious that everything that they would do and say would be under scrutiny. ”I wonder what Clark has in mind.” She looked at the bar area and saw that it was very crowded. ”Oh, that’s Dean Cain. Oh! The man next to him just spilled his drink on him. Poor Dean. He doesn’t look very happy.” A few faces turned in their direction and she could overhear a few people mention ‘that’s the girl from the Bachelorette’.

For his part, Clark had no interest in looking at anyone other than Lana. He looked over to her and she looked at him and squeezed his hand. A tuxedo clad attendant who was very thin, completely bald and with a pencil thin moustache approached them. He spoke English with a heavy French accent.

”Monsieur, Mademoiselle, I am Marcel. I will be at your service for the entire evening. Allow me to escort you to your table.”

The couple left Harrison and the restaurant’s owner and followed Marcel as he led them through the tables, across the dance floor and to one of the red curtained booths. He opened the curtain and revealed a table that had been set up for them. They would sit together in a leather booth seat that was semi circular at a table that had two place settings. Marcel slightly pulled out the table so that Lana and Clark could be seated. Then he pushed it back to its original position. Clark looked at the table setting which had several sets of forks, knives and spoons. ”Well, I guess I won’t be ordering a heart attack burger.” The waiter began to speak.

”Mademoiselle Lang, Monsieur Kent, allow to say how honored I am to be serving you tonight. Have ever been to Le Giraffe before?”

Both Clark and Lana shook their heads.

”As you can see from the line outside the building and the crowd waiting to be seated for dinner, we are one of the most popular restaurants in Los Angeles. Our cuisine is second to none. Our chefs have graduated from some of the finest culinary institutes in Europe. I’m sure they will be anxious to meet you some time during the evening. As you can see you may leave the table at any time to the dance floor. If you wish to have some privacy I can draw the curtain for you. May I start you off with some of our finest champagne?”

Lana looked at Clark and nodded her head. Clark answered for the two of them.

”Oui, Marcel.”

Marcel gave Clark a half smile. He was used to Americans using a little common French. But Clark caught Marcel’s attention when he continued to speak in French.

”Champagne would be wonderful.”

Instantly Lana eyes grew wide in surprise. ”So that’s his plan. We’re not going to speak in English. This will drive the Director nuts. I love it!” Lana repeated what Clark said – in French. Marcel’s face grew bright with delight. It was seldom that he had the opportunity to address someone in his native tongue. At first he tested them slowly to determine the extent of their fluency. He asked them where they were from and how the liked Los Angeles. It didn’t take long to discover that Clark and Lana were as fluent in French as he was.

”Monsieur Kent, Mademoiselle Lang, I will get the champagne. Would you like me to draw the curtain?”

Clark looked at Lana and saw the answer in her eyes.

”Please.”

And then Lana added.

”Oh Marcel…”

“Oui, Mademoiselle?”

“You can dim the lights.”

Author’s Note: I hope you don’t mind. I’m not even going to try to write in French. I would be using a translation website and I’m sure there are many grammatical nuances I’m not aware of.”

**********

The Director at ABC Studios started to feel a massive headache. He looked at his two technical assistants with desperate eyes.

”Can either one of you speak French?”

“No hablo, Boss.”

“That’s Spanish, you idiot.”

“Well, what do you expect in LA, Boss? Besides that we’ve got another problem, Boss.”

“What’s that?”

“Lighting. We forgot to use hidden cameras that could work in subdued light. Look at the monitor.”

The Director looked at the monitor and could barely make out the outline of the couple in the darkened booth.

He began to rapidly chew away the tips of his fingernails.

**********

Jimmy and Lois heard the change of language in their ear pieces. They looked at one another with an expression that said, ‘Clark Kent is just full of surprises.’ Chloe came rushing out of her booth.

”Lois! Do you speak French?”

Lois shook her head, no.

”But what about all those years you spent in Europe with the General?”

“Chloe, all I ever learned to say was ‘where’s the bathroom?’”

**********

”Clark Kent, you are full of surprises? How did you ever think of speaking in French?”

“You spoke to me in French at the end of the second episode. I thought I’d give it a try. Right now they have no idea what we’re talking about. Even if they persuaded a French speaking waiter to translate for them in real time, they would have a difficult time matching up what he’s saying now with what they’re going to edit and broadcast later. The network will have to find a real translator to work in the studio when they go through the film. Until that time they have no idea what’s important to a forty two minute broadcast and what’s not important. So they’ll be pressed for time to edit and prepare the show to broadcast next Monday. If all goes well they’ll only be able to capture a small amount of our conversation.”

Lana shook her head in amazement.

”So what shall we talk about?”

Clark brought his hand together on the table and started.

”I heard you have a crush on Superman.”

Lana responded with a slight nervous laugh.

”I wouldn’t call it a crush. I’d call it more of an admiration. Superman makes me want to be a better person.”

“How so?”

“He’s so committed. He’s always where he’s needed. He asks for nothing in return.

I run my own business – a modeling agency in Metropolis. I do pretty well. A lot of people look up to me and call me a role model for girls and young women. Yet, what I do and my success seems so unimportant compared to what Superman does. I sometimes think I should devote my time and my talent to something more productive, more beneficial to everyone than just putting pretty faces on magazines and money in my bank account.”

“So what’s stopping you?”

Lana paused for a moment and thought over Clark’s question.

”Nothing’s stopping me, is it?”

Clark shook his head.

”I don’t see anyone holding you back.”

Lana looked at Clark as if he had helped her make a great discovery. ”In five minutes of conversation he can do this. What’s he going to do to me in an hour?”

”No one’s holding me back. But what would I do?”

“Lana, no one is saying that you have to give up everything you’ve worked for and earned. But obviously you feel the need to do something that would give you more personal satisfaction.”

“You know, they say that Superman came to the Earth because we have so much potential. What do you think?”

“I think you never know what you can do until you try. There’s a quote from Robert Kennedy I once read. Some men see the world as it is and ask why? I dream of things that never were and ask why not? I think we spend too much time thinking about what we can’t do instead focusing on what we can do. Look at me.”

Lana blinked her eyes and waited for a witty remark. Clark continued.

”Six weeks ago if someone told me that I would be sitting in an expensive French restaurant in Hollywood with a woman who is everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more I would have told them they were crazy. But here I am.”

Lana looked at Clark. Her ever present smile grew even wider as she tried to keep from bursting out with laughter.

”Where did you learn to flirt like that, Clark?”

In Clark’s mind he wasn’t flirting. He was simply very happy and he was expressing that happiness. They were silent for a moment and then Lana squeezed his hand.

”It’s not flirting for you, is it?”

Clark shook his head. Lana couldn’t help but lean into him. The curtain opened and Marcel had returned with a bottle of champagne and an ice bucket. He poured two glasses for the couple. Lana picked up her glass.

”What shall we toast to, Clark?”

Clark picked up his glass.

”May all your dreams come true, Lana.”

Lana lightly tipped her glass onto Clark’s.

”May all of our dreams come true, Clark.”

They brought the glasses to their lips and took a small sip.

”Oh Magnifique!”

In just the few minutes that Marcel had spent with Clark and Lana he had become quite taken with them. He noticed how their eyes never left each other. He hated to interrupt them but he had a job to do.

”Monsieur, Mademoiselle, your menus.”

He was about to hand the couple two large, leather bound menus with an equally large wine list when Clark stopped him. Clark spoke to Lana before he spoke to Marcel.

”Will you trust me with this?”

Up to this point everything Clark had done was perfect. Lana enthusiastically nodded, yes. Clark spoke to Marcel.

”Marcel, I leave it to you.”

“Monsieur?”

“Marcel, the less time I spend examining your menu, the more time I have to talk to Mademoiselle, Lang. Besides, I’m sure you know your menu better than anyone. I leave it to you to decide.”

Marcel was astonished at the freedom and the responsibility Clark was giving him. He looked at Lana and he saw from the expression in her eyes that she was quite taken with the handsome, young man sitting next to her and that she concurred with his decision.

”Oui, Monsieur. May I recommend the…..”

Clark interrupted him.

”Marcel, whatever you decide will be fine. Just bring us the food.

And take your time. We are not in a hurry.”

Marcel nodded his concurrence. He left the table and the booth. He would inform the chefs in the kitchen that the food must be perfect. He would also tell them that this meal was to be served not in the American hurry up and get the eating over fashion but in the French fashion – plenty of time between courses. Plenty of time for the couple to savor the food and to savor each other.

Marcel was very experienced at his job and it was obvious to him that the last thing this handsome young couple was interested in was eating.

**********

”So tell me about your childhood.”

Lana looked Clark directly in the eyes as she asked her question. Clark shrugged his shoulders.

’There’s not much to tell. I grew up on farm in Smallville. We weren’t rich but we weren’t poor. I had an uneventful childhood and adolescence. My parents were loving, decent people who worked hard so that their son could have a better life than them.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“No. My parents couldn’t have any children of their own.”

Clark could see that Lana was puzzled by his answer.

”My parents adopted me.”

Again, Clark Kent was full of surprises to Lana Lang. In hearing that Clark was adopted she had the image placed in her head of an abandoned kitten that had been left on the side of the road. Clark had seen this many times before. As soon as people heard that he was adopted they somehow received the impression that he had been deprived. Lana placed her hand on his upper arm thinking that he needed to be consoled. Clark sought to reassure her.

”It’s okay, Lana. I don’t have any personal issues about being given up by my biological parents. No child could have been placed in better home than I was.”

Clark was silent for a moment. Not because of any regrets about his life or what he had just said. He had surprised himself that he had so easily spoken about his life to someone. He had always been so guarded with everyone other than his mother. He had become an expert in deflecting questions and never revealing anything about himself that he didn’t want to reveal. But now in the last five minutes he had revealed more about himself to a single person than he had since had taken up the identity of Superman. ”In five minutes of conversation she can do this. What’s she going to do to me in an hour?” He looked at Lana in amazement and Lana became self conscious.

”What?”

Clark didn’t answer. But now he started to take inventory of all of Lana’s assets. He instinctively brought up his hand and lightly touched her earlobe and flicked his fingers across her hair. With someone else Lana would have been shocked at such a sudden physical move. Instead with Clark she cooed like a kitten that was having its head lovingly stroked. Clark ran the tips of his fingers down her neck and across her shoulder. For the first time his eyes were drawn to Lana’s mouth and the glistening moistness of her lips. His eyes dropped and he looked at the soft curve of her breast underneath her gown. Compounding what he was seeing with the scent of her cologne, Clark felt his own masculinity being stirred. He caught himself and thought that he was being rude in his uninvited touching. He brought his eyes back up to Lana’s eyes.

”You’re amazing.”

Lana was melting at his touch. ”I’m amazing? I’m like putty in his hands and he thinks I’m amazing.” Lana took a deep breath and tried to get her quickening heartbeat under control.

”Have you ever had a desire to seek out your biological parents?”

With someone else Clark would have wanted to evade the question. He didn’t wish to do this with Lana.

”When you know you’re adopted you can’t help but ask questions about your biological parents. Why? What happened? What went wrong?”

“But you never tried to find them?”

“Well actually, my father sort of found me.”

Lana was silent. Right now more than anything she wanted Clark to continue. She acknowledged that she was enormously physically attracted to him. If he started kissing her right now, whether in private or in public, she would do nothing to stop him. But she was now captivated by his story. She wanted to hear more. She didn’t ask for more but Clark easily recognized the request in her eyes.

”My adoptive father, Jonathan Kent, died when I was eighteen and had just graduated high school. He suffered a heart attack right in our front yard. He died in my arms before the ambulance could get there. Maybe that was part of it but there was something inside of me that told me that I had to get away. So I left the farm and Smallville and Kansas and the country.”

“Where did you go?”

“North. I went north. And my journey ended when I ran into my father.”

Lana was amazed at the story she was hearing. It had the potential to be filled with drama and humanity and Clark was telling it in such a matter of fact manner. He was telling it like a reporter just stating the facts. She needed to hear more.

”What did you say to him?”

“I think my first words were – who am I?”

“What did he say?”

“Well, to make a long story short, by the time we finished I understood who I was, where I came from and where I was going. I also understood that had circumstances been different my biological parents would never have given me up. They sent me away not because they didn’t love me but because they did love me. They wanted a life for me that they couldn’t possibly provide.”

“And then what?”

“And then…”

Clark thought for a moment.

”…and then… here I am.”

Even though they were seated next to each other Lana needed to be closer to Clark. She moved into him and took his arm and placed it behind her back so that she was cuddled underneath his massive bicep. She moved her own arm behind his back and held him around his waist. She had no reluctance in molding into him so that her breasts were flush with his chest. She looked up into his face and with her free hand she raised it to his face and cupped his cheek. In her fingertips she felt a warmth flowing into her and cascading throughout her body. A connection that couldn’t be ignored.

Clark closed his eyes as he felt the softness of her touch caress his face and then caress his swelling heart. His heart was racing. Her fingers moved from his cheek to the side of his head. She was running her fingers through his thick hair just above his ear. She lifted herself up so that her lips were by his ear and he could feel her warmth breath. He tingled at its touch. She whispered.

”Clark, can I ask you something?”

Clark’s mouth was too dry to answer. All he could do was nod his head.

”Would you like to dance?”

This wasn’t the question Clark was expecting. Actually he didn’t know what he was expecting. He did know that at this point Lana could have asked him anything. Even if he were Superman and he would have answered truthfully and without hesitation. But the thought of dancing quickly brought him out of his Lana Lang induced delirium.

”I’m not exactly Fred Astaire, Lana.”

Lana moved out of the booth, took Clark’s hand and pulled him with her.

”Some people look at the world as it is and ask why? I dream of things that never were and ask why not?”

**********

They moved to the dance floor. Clark tried to take Lana’s hands and hold them in a formal ballroom dancing position. Instead Lana placed her own hands around his neck and pulled him towards her. She leaned her head into his chest. Clark placed his own hands around her waist and they moved in a slow circular motion with the music.

Author’s Note” Time for a musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgFtQPgHyek

Clark dipped his head down so that he could be as close to Lana’s face as possible. This wasn’t easy considering the fact that he was six feet four inches tall and she was five feet two inches tall plus another three inches with her heels. But they were close enough to feel each other’s breath. Clark placed his hands around the silken fabric of Lana’s waist.

”Oh my God! Your waist!”

Lana immediately drew back with trepidation.

”What? What’s wrong with my waist?”

“It’s so small. I can wrap my hands around it.”

Lana felt immediate relief. She moved back into Clark and could feel his heart beating through his chest and against her chest. Her fingers ran through his hair and she looked up into his eyes. Her hands moved to his eyeglasses, took hold of them and slipped them off his ears. Clark immediately panicked.

”Lana, what are you doing?”

Her soothing voice calmed him as she reclasped her hands behind his head and held his glasses at the same time. She pulled his face down to hers.

”I’m about to show you how wonderful I think you are.”

Lana closed her eyes. Clark saw her moistened, inviting lips and closed his eyes in response. He surrendered his lips to hers and allowed his heart to become her prisoner.

**********

Oliver, Bo, Smitty, Chico and Luke had been standing at the bar for over thirty minutes. They were no closer to being seated at a table than when they first entered the restaurant. The restaurant may have not had enough tables for everyone who wanted to eat dinner but they had more than enough bartenders to keep those who were waiting satisfied with exorbitantly priced adult beverages and the five men had more than their fair share. During this time Oliver stood quietly with Bo at his side watching Lois and Jimmy sitting at their table and they spied Clark and Lana entering the restaurant and then led to a private booth where the curtain was drawn.

”So Oliver, why is Lois even here?”

“I have no idea. Remember she doesn’t talk to me anymore.”

“Aren’t she and Kent partners at the Daily Planet?”

“They were partners. The Planet had a small caption in one of their editions that said he quit the paper.”

“Oh yeah. He quit right about the same time that Lois dumped you, didn’t he?”

Oliver didn’t answer. Both he and Bo looked at each other and thought the same thing. Both spoke at the same time.

”We better ask Smitty about this. He’s an expert on these kinds of things.”

They shouted for Smitty to join them. Chico and Luke followed and Oliver and Bo explained the situation to Smitty.

”So Lois has been working with Kent for years?”

Oliver nodded his head.

”She breaks up with you and the next day Kent quits his job?”

Oliver again nodded his head.

”And now she’s here in Los Angeles and just happens to be with the executive producer babe and just happens to be in the same restaurant as Clark Kent?”

Oliver nodded his head a final time. Smitty continued.

”Well Oliver, I hate to have to tell you this but it looks like Lois has got a thing for Kent.”

Oliver grew red in the face with rage and Luke followed his example. Luke spoke with venom in his voice.

”Kent! That bastard! I’ll kill that son of a ….!”

“Luke! Shut up! This isn’t a movie.”

Smitty continued.

”It’s not his fault, Oliver. Obviously he left the paper because he didn’t want to be near Lois.”

The four men who were listening to Smitty raised their collective eyebrows in surprise. Oliver asked the question the four men were thinking.

”Then why is Lois here?”

Smitty answered in a quiet, serious voice.

”Did you guys ever see Fatal Attraction?”

All four men gasped at once.

”Are you saying….”

“Yep. Lois is a stalker.”

Luke stood next to Oliver and patted him on the back.

”Oliver, you’re a lucky man. That could be you she’s stalking.”

“Luke, I’m the one who’s in love with Lois. I want her chasing after me, you numskull.”

Their attention was drawn to the booth where Clark and Lana were. The curtain drew and Lana exited with Clark in tow. Chico said what was on everyone’s mind.

”Holy smoking tomatoes! That girl is hot! Television does not do her justice.”

They all watched the couple on the dance floor. Then five jaws dropped at once when Lana pulled Clark into a heated kiss.

”Holy smoking tomatoes!!!”

Oliver’s eyes turned to Lois. She was looking at Clark with an intense expression. Bo whispered in his ear.

”Remember what Glen Close did to Michael Douglas in Fatal Attraction?”

Oliver looked at Bo and swallowed. Bo continued.

”She made his life a living hell, man.”

Oliver looked at Lois and then looked at Clark. He could only imagine the jealous rage that was building up inside of Lois.

”I’ve got to warn Clark.”

He started walking towards the dance floor and Clark. The four musketeers followed him. He increased his pace when he saw Lois rise from her seat.

**********

Lois and Jimmy were seated at their table drinking champagne and eating assorted hors d’oeuvres. They had watched Clark and Lana enter the restaurant and go into their private booth. Listening in on the conversation they were both surprised when Clark and Lana started speaking in fluent French. Chloe came out of her booth several times to ask if Lois was sure that she didn’t understand French. The camera crew and the studio crew were extremely frustrated that they could get a visual but could not understand anything that was being spoken. Judging from the way Lana was sitting next to Clark, it appeared that they were having an ‘interesting’ conversation, as Chloe put it, but they could not understand what the couple was saying. Chloe was extremely upset.

”This really sucks. Usually as we film we make notes along the way to determine what needs to be included in the final edited version. We can’t do that now. We’re going to have to hire an interpreter and go through hours of film. And the film sucks because Lana dimmed the lighting.”

Lois thought otherwise. ”Actually Clark Kent is a very smart man and Lana Lang is a very smart woman.” Jimmy noticed that Lois was unusually subdued.

”What are you thinking, Lois?”

“I’m thinking that Clark Kent is a very smart man.”

“Why?”

“Jimmy, who’s the most private person you know?”

“That’s easy. It’s Clark.”

“Yet, he’s talking up a storm with Lana Lang but he’s doing it in such a way that right now only Lana Lang understands him.”

“Which means what?”

“Which means….”

Lois was very careful in her wording.

”….which means that Clark Kent trusts Lana Lang a lot more than he trusts anyone else.”

Lois was listening intently to the conversation. Her eyes opened wide and she said under her breath.

”Wow.”

“What is it, Lois?”

“Lana Lang – she’s in love with Clark?”

“I thought you didn’t speak French.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, how do you know?”

“I can hear it in her voice.”

“Her voice?”

“Jimmy, I watched Lana Lang when she was on The Bachelor and now on the Bachelorette. She sounds different when she’s with Clark.”

“How does she sound?”

“She sounds like she’s in love.”

“That’s a big help. How do you know this?”

“I’m a woman that’s how I know this.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Of course you don’t get it. You’re a man.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that men only think that a woman is in love when she’s groaning in the heat of passion.”

Lois closed her eyes and began raising her voice to a high pitch.

”Oh my God! Oh my God! I’m almost there! More! More! I’m almost there!”

The people seated at the tables surrounding Jimmy’s and Lois’ table became silent in witnessing Lois’ poorly chosen example of male insensitivity and focused their attention on her. Lois then became aware of the loudness of her voice and somewhat embarrassed by her example and tried to excuse her behavior to other patrons.

”Sorry. My friend’s a virgin. He’s never heard a woman orgasm before.”

Jimmy’s face turned beet red. The backs of his ears turned blood red. He used every ounce of self discipline to keep from angrily shouting.

”How can you say that?”

“I said the first thing that came into my mind, Jimmy. Sorry. What did you want me say? It was either that or telling them that you were a porn industry bigwig and I was auditioning for a part in the Jenna Jamison Story.”

Jimmy was about to continue his protest when his attention was drawn to Clark’s and Lana’s booth. The curtain opened and Lana led Clark out of the booth and onto the dance floor. Clark was taking no notice of anyone other than the woman who held his hand. He tried to go into a formal ballroom dancing position but Lana waved off his hands and brought her arms up and around his neck. She whispered a few words to him, pulled off his eyeglasses and then she pulled his head down to hers. Jimmy gasped at the sight of the very public kiss.

”Great Caesar’s Ghost!”

“Great Caesar’s Ghost? What the hell is a Great Caesar’s Ghost, Jimmy?”

Jimmy could barely speak.

”I don’t know. I think I once heard Perry say that. Holy Cow! That’s some kiss!”

This was the first time that Lois had ever seen Clark without his eyeglasses. Because he was slightly bent over due to the differences in height and because his face was flush against Lana’s, Lois couldn’t get a good view of him. All she could really see was the top of his forehead.
”Maybe I can get a closer look.”

She got up from her seat and left the table to get a closer view.

**********

A musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R_fM8JsXZI

Missy Mason exited the limousine in front of Le Giraffe. Her wavy, blonde hair extended past her shoulders, down her back and blew in the slight breeze. She wore a royal blue mini-dress that did its utmost to bring all of her physical attributes to public attention. The front of the dress displayed her ample cleavage. Her skirt and five inch heels displayed her well proportioned, shapely legs. The dress clung to her every curve and hugged her waist like a tightened rodeo lasso. Her skin was tanned from the California sun and the dress revealed enough skin to show that she had no tan lines.

Her eyes were large, deep blue, almost lavender (and without the aid of tinted contact lenses) and expressive. Her nose was small and slightly upturned. Her mouth was sensuous and her lips full. Her teeth were straight and bright white, and were displayed often because Missy had everything to smile about.

Missy Mason possessed the very best genes from an Irish father and a Scandinavian mother. She was five feet six inches tall and one hundred and twelve pounds. Her face was the result of these genes, an orthodontist as a teenager and the knowledge obtained from Hollywood makeup artists. Her body was the product those same genes, training in the ballet as a child and teenager until her breasts became too large and threw off her balance, and constant physical exercise with a series of personal trainers both in and out of the gym.

In her junior and senior year of high school when the braces came off and her breasts came out, she learned that she could have everything she ever dreamed of. All she had to do was be. Not be polite or be friendly. Just be. Now in her mid twenties, Missy was wealthy without ever having a steady job. She was a social butterfly without ever having a steady boyfriend and in a few years she would be despairing and depressed because she never had a steadying influence in her life. But for now she was content being well off, popular and a sexual dynamo.

As she left the limousine she felt hundreds of eyes moved in her direction. The eyes of the men in their imaginations peeled away the little clothes that Missy wore. The eyes of the women were filled with rage as their husbands, boyfriends, dates and escorts couldn’t control the hormones that drew their attention to Missy Mason like the tractor beam of the Starship Enterprise.

As she walked her semi-Marilyn Monroe walk she felt a seismic shift in what she called ‘the penis meter’ of the crowd standing in front of the restaurant. She moved next to attendant who just an hour ago took a tidy sum from Oliver Queen to gain entrance to the restaurant.

”I’m going inside. Is that a problem?”

The attendant’s mouth was too dry to answer. All he could do was simply nod his head. He couldn’t disguise the fact that his eyes examined her entire body and then came to rest on the bounty straining to be released from the front of her dress. Missy noticed where his eyes rested. It no longer bothered her because this was the reaction she got from just about all men. Even the gays. She smiled at him and answered the question he was dying to ask.

”Yes. They’re real….and they’re magnificent.”

She strode past him and went through the door. She scanned the area – the overcrowded bar, the diners at the tables, the people on the dance floor. The eyes moved over the private booths. All of them had the curtains open except two. One booth near her and one booth at the far end of the dance floor. ”Where are you?”

The curtain of the booth at the far end of the dance floor opened up and a woman came out first with a man following her. ”Hello, Lana. Long time, no talk. Well, we never did really talk. Did we?” She moved closer to the dance floor and observed the couple. ”Oh Lana! I give you credit. He’s much better looking than Jason Teague. No wonder Jason is crazy with jealousy.”

The couple pulled into an embrace and then into a passionate kiss. ”Lana Lang! Kissing a man in public? And on television? What’s gotten into you?” She smiled and laughed to herself. ”What gotten into you? I’m sure nothing. Not yet.”

She walked towards the couple. ”Time to face reality, Lana. What is yours for a moment will soon be mine for as long as I want.”

**********

Author’s Note” Time for a musical interlude. This is what Clark Kent is feeling at this moment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsKi8R8bazY

Clark held his eyes tightly closed as he was under the impression that he was in a dream and didn’t want to wake up. He wrapped his arms around Lana, picked her up off the floor and drew her to him. He slightly opened his mouth and took in Lana’s breath. When he did this she slightly opened her mouth and tightened her hold around his neck.

All that existed at this moment was Lana and Clark. He was totally unaware of where he was. His only thought was of the wonderful, warm pair of lips that was pressing against his lips and delicately exploring his mouth and the pair of lithesome arms that were encircling his neck.

Lana closed her eyes to let the full force of Clark Kent’s kiss flow into her body. The first kiss on Bruce Wayne’s plane was just an appetizer. This kiss unleashed a hunger inside of her that she was never aware of. Clark responded to her and pushed her mouth open. She responded in kind and wanted more. His masculinity was overwhelming and she felt herself grow weak. He lifted her off the floor and her shoes, which were hurting her, fell from her feet. She acknowledged that he possessed her heart before they came out to the dance floor. Now he possessed her lips. ”Soon he can possess anything he wants of me.” Lana broke the kiss to catch her breath. She leaned her forehead into Clark’s. She whispered weakly in his ear. Her words seemed to have a life of their own. She could keep nothing from him.

”Clark….You know what’s happening.… don’t you?”

He answered weakly. His warm breath sent a tingling to the sensitive skin in her ear.

”Yes…Lana.”

Lana tried to focus but still had difficulty in forming a coherent sentence.

”Clark, I know that the show must go on but right now this contest is over.”

Lana didn’t hear an immediate response from and she thought the worst. She opened her eyes and pulled away from his head. She looked him directly in the eyes.

”Unless that’s not what you want?”

Her heart was ready to burst at his answer. Burst in an overwhelming happiness or burst in the depths of despair.

Clark was lost in Lana’s eyes. Her flaming kiss was like an injection of truth serum. He could not keep anything from her.

”I want it more than anything in this world. More than anything in the twenty eight known galaxies.”

Lana had dreamed she would hear such words but hearing the words for real was so much better than the dream.

”Twenty eight known galaxies? Oh Clark. You are so funny.”

She could no longer hear the music. All she could hear was the pounding in her chest. All she could feel was the need to pull him closer. She let out a sigh,

”Oh, Clark!”

And once again she pulled him towards her. Their eyes closed. Their lips merged and their bodies molded. The universe was no longer a dance floor, a restaurant, a city, a state, a nation, a world. The universe became a single thought that cracked like lightening in their consciousnesses and their heartbeats thundered in response.

”I love you!”

Author’s Note” Time to end the chapter with what is running through Lana’s mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLooMzB_lgc

End of Chapter Seventeen

**********

[ClanaGirl]

what OldManKent that is the most amazing brilliant post that you have ever doen. if you continue you will be one of the most brilliant Clana geniou's. please tell me how you get your inspiration for it could you give me any tips?

[LetMeGo]

What a great update! Loved it when they started talking in French!

Can't wait to see what happens when everyone meets on the dance floor.

[oldmankent]

Chapter Eighteen

”Use the Force, Luke”

Luke Oswald’s heart had always been in the right place. He had always been loyal, steadfast and willing to give the shirt off his back to anyone who needed it. His problem was that not everyone could immediately recognize his admirable characteristics and instead focused on his physical shortcomings. He was not tall. In fact, he was not even of average height (about five feet five inches tall) and he was not of average weight (about two hundred pounds) for his height. In his mid twenties, his receding hairline was a constant reminder that he would descend into baldness just as his father and grandfather had before him. It was only a matter of time. He was very conscious of his physical appearance and he didn’t like himself.

He felt eternal gratitude that he was befriended by Oliver, Bo, Chico and Smitty. Four super successful classmates who were now super successful businessmen and they were the epitome of cool in Luke’s eyes. They were everything he wanted to be. He considered it a privilege that they allowed someone so unlike them into their sphere of friendship. For the casual observer, seeing Luke among these four prime specimens would be like seeing Andy Griffith hanging out with Frank Sinatra’s and Dean Martin’s Rat Pack from the 1960s or Urkel hanging around with the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Or, as Lois Lane would put it, combining hot fudge with halibut.

Some things just don’t belong together.

Luke recognized this. His solution as to how to be as cool as his friends was that he had to be more cool. Or rather, he had to be more of his idea of what it took to be cool. If his friends said something that he thought was clever, well, Luke would say it again. And again. And again. If they did something that he thought was unique, well, Luke would do it. Only longer and louder and more often. Even as a young boy when his neighborhood friends would join together to play a prank on a grumpy neighbor, Luke would never hesitate to play his role. And to overcompensate for his physical shortcomings he would take on any dare. The only problem was that Luke would always be the one who got caught. He was usually too slow in running away or too honest if an adult confronted him and asked, were you part of a prank? Luke could not look that person in the eye and lie. When standing in front of the school principal, or a police officer, or his scolding mother and having it demanded of him that he give the authorities the names of his confederates or face the damnation of having a black mark go on his ‘permanent record’, Luke would remain silent. To Luke, friendship was something that could never be taken lightly. Even when your ‘permanent record’ was on the line.

Luke had seen and heard of everything that Oliver Queen had been through with Lois Lane. He felt terribly for his friend and there was nothing more that he wanted than to see Oliver happy. But now because of Smitty’s expert analysis of the female persuasion, Luke had come to the conclusion that Lois Lane was a mentally unstable woman. She had dumped Oliver and was now stalking her former partner, Clark Kent. How long had she had a thing for Clark? No one knew. But now she had followed him to Los Angeles and to the restaurant where he was dining with famed Bachelorette, Lana Lang. Not only had Lois followed him but she was now witnessing (as was Luke and everyone else in the restaurant) the heated, passionate and very public kiss that the couple was sharing. Oliver’s male bonding with Clark had inspired Luke. Lois was moving in on Clark and Oliver was going to intercept her.

And Luke, like Sancho Panza to Oliver’s Don Quixote, would be by his side. ”Us guys have to stick together!”

Oliver walked to the dance floor and Luke walked with him. Or rather, Luke stumbled with him. The uncounted bottles of beer and shots of tequila had long since taken its toll of Luke’s equilibrium and he moved not in a straight line but was swerving to his left and to his right like a small boat trying to steady itself in a stormy sea. Holding a large glass of beer in his hand, Luke bumped into one waiter and almost caused another waiter to spill the food he was serving into a customer’s lap. Undaunted, Luke pressed on.

Now on edge of the dance floor, Luke saw Lois closing in on the lip locked couple and tried to focus his vision. But his vision was not only blurry but peripherally blinded and he collided with someone he didn’t see. Spilling his glass of beer onto the person, knocking them to the floor and falling on them, all at the same time.

”You idiot! Look what you’ve done to my dress!”

Luke was face down on the dance floor. He turned over to the sound of the frenzied, female voice, shook his head and blinked his eyes. Trying to get up from the floor he beheld one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen in his life. He could see that her long blonde hair had been roughed up in the fall and was in need of a quick brushing. Her lipstick was slightly smudged on her face. But what really drew his attention was that he had spilled his beer on the front of her very low cut dress. The front of her dress was soaked and revealed two very dark, very erect, very large nipples on the top of her very large, very firm breasts. The sight of this extraordinary wonder made Luke’s heart beat very fast, his eyes grow very large and his smile grow very wide.

”Wipe that bleeding smile off your face, you fat bastard, before I wipe it off for you! Look at what you’ve done to me!”

Luke was now up on his knees and the woman’s magnificent chest was directly in his line of sight. He pulled his handkerchief from his back pocket.

”I’m soooory, Miss. Here. Let me clean you off.”

Luke started to wipe the front of the young lady’s dress and the breasts underneath the dress with his handkerchief.

”Get your hands off of me, you pervert!”

Missy Mason went berserk as the short, rotund, balding man on his knees took his handkerchief and attempted to dry her beer soaked breasts. Dry in a vigorous manner as if he were drying a washed car with a chamois. Missy appreciated a man who knew how to use his hands on her body, preferably in her bedroom. But not in public from a drunken stranger and who was treating her breasts as if they were two mounds of Pillsbury dough ready for the oven. She brought back her right hand, closed that hand into a fist and swung forward, putting her entire body into the oncoming blow just as her martial arts instructor had showed her. Missy could see that the man was too fixated on her body and would be totally unprepared for the blow. It would strike him squarely in his jaw. Most likely in the aftermath his broken jaw would be wired shut and he would have to be on a liquid diet for six weeks. ”That should help you lose some weight, you pig!”

The blow was almost at the point of contact when Missy found herself being thrown off balance. Her right wrist was snatched in mid air. The hand around her wrist was like a vice.

”There’s no need for that! It was an accident!”

Missy looked up into a pair of crystal clear blue eyes just below a head of short, dirty blonde hair. Missy’s anger instantly dissipated. Instead she found that her breath was taken away and she found herself speechless. ”Oh my God! Who are you?”

”Luke, get your hands off the young lady.”

The fat pervert stopped his attempted cleanup and slowly got to his feet. The handsome, blonde hero turned his attention to Missy.

”Luke meant no disrespect, Miss. I’ll pay for the dress.”

He let go of Missy’s wrist and she found herself moving towards him. She looked up into his eyes. Missy was about to open her clutch and get one of her personal cards with her private phone number on it to give to the stranger when she heard.

”Oliver! What are you doing here?”

**********

Lois Lane was moving to get a closer look at Clark when Oliver and one of his fraternity buddies came into the picture. ”What the hell! Oh my God! Oliver, are you stalking me?” Lois stood motionless as the two men moved closer. ”Closer to what? Closer to…Clark? What do they want with Clark?”

From the other side of the dance floor Lois spied another person entering the picture. ”Missy Mason! Oh my God! What are you doing here?” Before Lois could ascertain Missy’s motives the buxom blonde underwent an abrupt interception in a collision with Oliver’s stout friend. Both fell to the floor but Missy was almost immediately on her feet and screaming at the dumbstruck young man. Oliver’s friend didn’t seem to know what was happening but he couldn’t help but noticed the soaked nipples that were staring him in the face. Lois became self conscious and took a momentary glance inside the front of her own gown. She assured herself that her breasts were of the same caliber as Ms. Mason’s and then turned her attention back to the dance floor. Missy was about to clobber Oliver’s friend when her fist was intercepted by Oliver.

Lois didn’t make out the words that were exchanged but she could clearly see that Missy immediately softened her stance and her attitude when she caught sight of Oliver. She straightened her posture and stood in front of him to ensure that he got a panoramic view of the sun rising between the two majestic mountains. ”Oh no you don’t! You skank! Get away from him!” Lois now moved towards them with a sense of urgency. Her first inclination was to yell at Missy. Then she realized that it was Oliver who was the immediate matter at hand.

”Oliver! What are you doing here?”

Oliver heard Lois’ unique voice. A voice that could be distinctly identified as belonging to Lois Lane even in the midst of a shouting crowd during New Year’s Eve in Times Square, a 150 mile per hour hurricane or an exploding volcano on a deserted island. He turned his attention from the well built blonde of unknown origin to Lois and yelled back.

”What am I doing here? What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? I’m doing my job!”

“Your job is to stalk Clark?”

Oliver recognized that Lois was taken aback by what she was hearing. It wasn’t often that Lois Lane was speechless and Oliver had to take advantage of the opportunity.

”It’s not enough that Clark had to quit the Daily Planet to get away from you! Now you have to follow him to LA!”

Lois was flabbergasted and totally unprepared for what she was being accused of.

”I’m here on a job, you stupid jerk! Perry sent me to help Clark!”

Oliver didn’t understand. Why would Lois need to help Clark? Quite frankly, right now of all the people in the restaurant Clark Kent looked like he needed help the least.

”Help Clark? Clark quit the Daily Planet!”

“Clark didn’t quit!”

In the heat of the moment Lois blurted out what Perry White believed. Not what she knew to be true. Oliver was now stumped and silent. Now Lois, like General Patton with the Nazis on the run, went in for the kill. She placed her angry face directly in front of Oliver’s.

”Why are you here, Oliver?”

“I…. I….I….”

“Are you stalking me?”

It stunned Oliver to hear the same accusation being leveled at him that a moment ago he was leveling at Lois.

”No, I’m not stalking you.”

“So it’s just a coincidence that you happen to be in the same restaurant as me?”

At this point Luke drunkenly blurted out.

”No. Not really. We followed you from the hotel.”

At Luke’s revelation Oliver just bowed his head. ”Please shoot me…Now.”

“So you were following me?”

A little voice in the back of Oliver’s mind told that it was now time for damage control

“Well only for a little while.”

“You were stalking me?”

“I wouldn’t call it…stalking. I’m sure if it’s stalking it’s stalking with a small s not a capital S like real stalkers do.”

Again Luke blurted out.

”Kind of like a mini-stalk.”

Lois now delivered the knockout punch.

“Oliver, you are a STALKER! Stay away from me!”

A group of waiters and the maitre d’ had now entered the scene along with the manager of the restaurant and everyone and everything calmed down. Oliver looked in the direction of Clark and Lana.

They were gone.

He looked back at the dining booth that they had come from. The curtain of the booth was closed. He looked at Lois who was combining an expression of anger and disappointment. He felt a terrible sense of shame. ”Am I really a stalker? Do I just need to move on?” His other friends had gathered by his side. Luke was by himself and trying to clean himself up. The blonde had left the dance floor and had probably left the restaurant. Oliver dejected by what had just occurred, spoke to his friends.

”Come on, boys. Let’s go home.”

***********

Jimmy Olsen had stayed at the table and had seen the entire episode between Oliver, Lois, Oliver’s friend and Missy Mason. Oliver left the restaurant with his buddies. Chloe came out of her booth and stood by his side.

”Jimmy, what the hell is going on?”

“Chloe, you don’t want to know.”

One thought dominated Jimmy’s mind.

”This is really messed up.”

Lois, seeing that Clark and Lana had disappeared back into the booth, returned to the table.

***********

Lana was unaware of time, of space, of existence. All she knew was that having Clark Kent’s lips over hers was like nothing she had ever before experienced. His lips were firm but at the same time tender. He probed the surface of her mouth but knew enough that any deeper exploration would require her invitation. She felt tremendous strength in his arms but he held her gently like a baby.

Lana disengaged from the kiss and leaned her cheek against Clark’s. He was clean shaven and had no stubble to irritate her smooth skin. She inhaled and took in a slight scent of aftershave. She rubbed the back of his neck with her fingers. She whispered in his ear.

”You smell good. What kind of aftershave are you wearing?”

He whispered back.

”Old Spice.”

“Only the tried and true for you. Huh, Clark Kent?”

“Only the best.”

His answer made Lana smile. Especially when he gave her a slight squeeze as he said, ‘only the best’.

Lana’s ears picked up a commotion around them. Something was happening. Something more than just music being played and people dancing. She heard voices being raised and arguing. But she wasn’t interested. All she was interested in was finding out more about Clark Kent and then having him kiss her some more and kissing him in return. What does he like to eat? What doesn’t he like to eat? Does he like movies? Does he like children? Does he want children? Has he ever been in love? If yes, why didn’t it work out? ”Do you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain? And the feel of the ocean and the taste of champagne? Do you like making love at midnight (I wish I knew what that was like) and the dunes of the cape? Oh dear! I’m getting carried away.” Another voice in the back of her mind spoke. ”Actually Lana, you’re being swept away.” She whispered again.

”Clark, can I ask you something?”

“You just did.”

Lana smiled as she glided her lips under his ear. He had used the response that she had used on him in the limousine on the trip to the restaurant when he asked her the same question. ”He’s a quick learner.”

”Go ahead. Ask me anything you like, Lana.”

She was silent for a moment and then asked her question.

”Clark…..what’s your favorite color?”

Clark moved his head slightly away from Lana. While holding Lana with one arm wrapped around her waist he use his free hand to take his eyeglasses out of her hands and he placed them back on his face. Then he looked deeply into her eyes.

”Hazel.”

She lightly kissed him.

”You’re silly. Seriously, what’s your favorite color?”

Clark moved his head up and down to look over Lana from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

”Whatever color you’re wearing is my favorite color.”

Lana decreased her playfulness just a notch. Just enough to be noticed.

”Didn’t your mother teach you that it’s rude to be so evasive like that? Especially with someone who cares about you.”

Lana’s last sentence struck Clark to the core. She was making herself vulnerable for him. She was putting herself out on the line…for him. After so many years of secrets and concealment, his old habits were hard to break. He answered.

”I’m partial to blue.”

“I think you probably look very handsome in blue…and with a little red sprinkled in.”

Clark wanted to chuckle but didn’t.

”Clark, let’s go back into the booth and eat our dinner. We can talk some more.”

He placed her back down on the dance floor. She grabbed her shoes in one hand and Clark’s hand with her other hand and they walked back to the dinner table and drew the curtain behind them. Paying no attention to the commotion behind them.

**********

Things had not gone according to plan for Missy Mason. Upon entering Le Giraffe it had been her intention to cut in on Lana on the dance floor, totally entice Clark Kent with her considerable charm and her considerable body, and then leave Lana in the dust. She had done this before with other men to other women. It should be no problem. ”After all, I’m sure Clark Kent is only a man like other men.” After that it was up to Jason Teague to comfort Lana in her hour of need and despair. When she saw just the profile of Clark Kent even without getting a clear view of Kent’s face, Missy immediately recognized Jason Teague’s dilemma. ”I’m sorry, Jason. You’re no Clark Kent.” She was even more impressed when she saw Lana and Clark drawn into a very passionate kiss. ”Oh my! Now there’s a man of action. I need to get me some of that.” Now her ravenous libido was stimulated with the idea of bedding down Clark Kent and she moved in for the kill. Unfortunately for her, she was felled by a drunken patron. Not only felled but drenched with his beer. She was about clobber the drunken slob when she was stopped by another hunk of a man. For a moment she was undecided if she should continue on her mission or change her objective to the blue eyed blonde in front of her. ”The hell with Jason Teague! What did he ever do for me?” But in a single moment of time the decision was made for her.

Now a very attractive, well built woman was confronting the blonde god. Missy couldn’t help but notice the intruder’s outstanding bust. She examined her own in comparison. ”She’s good. But I’m better.” She backed away and looked in Lana’s direction. Lana was still in unbreakable bliss with Kent. Missy was reassessing the situation and the best way to approach Clark in her disheveled state when she overheard the argument between the blonde god the woman that she called ‘a Missy Mason wannabe’.

”Oliver! What are you doing here?”

”What am I doing here? What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? I’m doing my job!”

“Your job is to stalk Clark? It’s not enough that Clark had to quit the Daily Planet to get away from you! Now you have to follow him to LA!”

”I’m here on a job, you stupid jerk! Perry sent me to help Clark!”

”Help Clark? Clark quit the Planet!”

“Clark didn’t quit!”

The jilted lover ash heap of history was filled with men who had thought that Missy Mason was nothing more than her looks. On the contrary, she was intelligent. She was shrewd and she always recognized an opportunity when it was in front of her. ”He didn’t quit? Daily Planet? This babe is here to help Clark? Help him with what?” She quickly looked back and forth between the arguing couple and the totally into the moment couple. Waiters, the maitre d and the manager had now entered the scene and Missy decided that a quick, unseen exit was in her best interest.

She left the restaurant and was retrieved by her limousine. Once out of range of the restaurant and on the freeway she dialed Jason Teague.

”Hello, Jason. It’s Missy.
No. I didn’t carry out your plan. There was an unforeseen accident.
Jason, shut up and listen! I didn’t carry out your imbecilic plan of my seducing Clark Kent. By the way, seducing Clark Kent might have been the highlight of my year.
I said, shut up and listen.

I’ve come across something a whole lot better than just stealing Lana Lang’s new boyfriend.
What is it?
Before we get into that let’s talk about price."

**********

The couple went back into the booth and found their appetizers waiting for them. They sat next to each other. Close enough so that they could feel the warmth from the other’s body but far enough apart so that they could maneuver their knives and forks without stabbing each other. In front of them were two plates. One plate contained smoked salmon with small potato pancakes and sour cream. The other plate contained shrimp cocktail in a lemon watercress sauce. They shared the food, each taking small bites from the other’s plate.

”You’re a very private person, aren’t you, Clark?”

Clark nodded.

”I guess I am. I never really thought much about it.”

“Did someone hurt you?”

Clark didn’t understand the question.

”No. What makes you ask that?”

“Usually when someone is very reserved there’s a reason. Something or someone who hurt them so they feel the need to keep everything close to the vest. Keep everything bottled up inside.”

“No. No one hurt me into silence. Yes. I’m just a private person. You see, Lana. I’m a reporter. It’s my profession to dig. Dig and report. I know how easily privacy can be swept away. With things like MySpace and Facebook and FICO scores, privacy is even more tenuous. I’m not going to be a hypocrite. I don’t stop anyone from digging into my life.

I just don’t make it easy.

Look at this way. I’ve always considered my privacy to be very….private.”

Lana laughed at his wording. Clark continued.

”It’s not something to be shared with just anyone. It’s something special to be shared with someone special.”

Clark looked directly at Lana. ”I want you to be that someone special, Lana. I really do.” A voice inside of him spoke quietly. ”You better tell this girl that you love her, Clark. You know you do.”

Lana placed her hand on Clark’s.

”Am I that someone special, Clark?”

Clark was silent for a moment. It was difficult for him to answer but he was sincere in his response.

”For you, I’ll be an open book.”

Lana heard a voice in the back of her mind. ”You better tell him that you love him, Lana. He needs to know.” Another voice joined in. ”Make him say it first, girl.”

”Clark, there’s something you really want to tell me, isn’t there?”

Clark nodded his head. Lana continued.

”But not here. Not until we’re really alone.”

She squeezed his hand.

”I understand. Don’t worry. We have plenty of time.”

**********

Jason Teague ended the phone call. ”Wow! He thought for a moment and then he hit a preset number on his phone.

”Hi Mom. It’s Jason.
No. No. I’m fine.
Mom, I need a favor.
I need you call in one of the IOUs that are owed you and arrange a meeting for me.
A meeting with Blake Whittaker, the President of ABC Entertainment.”

**********

”So how did you end up here?”

They were now on to the main course. Lana was having the Duck Magret laced with black currant berries. Clark stayed safe with Chicken Breast grilled with herbs and Dijon mustard. They were sharing a bottle of Puligney Montrachet. They took turns asking each other questions in between small bites of the food and sips of the chardonnay.

Lana answered.

”Here in the restaurant? You brought me."

“No. Here on The Bachelorette?”

Lana placed her fork on her plate, chewed her food, swallowed and then washed it down with some water.

”That’s my mother’s doing.”

“Your mother?”

”I’m an only child like you. My mother had complications when I was born and she wasn’t able to have any more children.”

“Oh. So you’ve been saddled with the high expectations of the only child too?”

“Oh yeah. I’m not complaining now. I wanted for nothing. I never lacked for pretty dresses or dolls or anything else I wanted. But all of that comes with a price.”

“Such as?”

Lana nodded.

”It wasn’t good enough to be average. I had to be better. I had to be better than better. If everyone in my English class averaged a B on the final exam I was expected to have an A. That kind of thing. It’s not bad. I think my parents’ high expectations pushed me to always do my best.”

“Yeah but how does that explain a woman like yourself being on a television show where the goal is to capture a man?”

“What do you mean, ‘a woman like yourself’?”

Clark was silent for a moment and he swept his eyes over the woman seated next to him.

”Lana, you’re not exactly hard on the eyes. I find it really difficult to believe that you would have difficulty attracting a man.”

Lana poked Clark in the ribs with her elbow.

”Well, what about you? How come some girl hasn’t snatched you up by now?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. Why aren’t you married with a little woman at home and three or four little ones greeting daddy when he gets home work?”

Clark sat silently and thought about what he had just heard.

”What have you been doing? Watching reruns of The Donna Reed Show?”

Lana was taking a sip of water as Clark answered and she blurted out a mouthful when Clark’s response struck her funny bone. Clark gave her his napkin and Lana wiped her mouth. Clark continued.

”Lana, you’re not exactly describing a 21st century American family.”

“I know. I know. What I mean to say is, why aren’t you married and have your own family?”

“Well, I guess other commitments got in the way.”

“Like your job?”

“Yeah that. Plus one other thing.”

“What?”

“Well, I guess I never thought that such things were meant for me. The wife, the home, the children, the family….it was all meant for someone else.”

“And how do you feel now?”

“Confused.”

Lana thought about his answer. Thought about it….and liked it.

His answer was honest.

”Sometimes confusion is good.”

Clark nodded his head in agreement. He was confused. He always had clarity of purpose. But he never realized until now that with that clarity of purpose came something equally clear.

Loneliness.

”You still didn’t answer my question. How did your mother get you involved with The Bachelor?”

Lana took a sip of her wine and sat back. She was totally relaxed. She wasn’t used to talking like this. Being comfortable enough to say what was really on her mind.

”My mother is very proud of me. She is proud to have a daughter who’s educated, self sufficient and a productive member of society. But she still thinks that something is missing in my life if I don’t have a husband and a family of my own.”
“What do you think?”

”What do I think?" This question brewed on the burner in the back of Lana’s mind. ”Clark, you ask such direct questions.”

”I think my mother just wants me to be happy.

I got involved with The Bachelor because my mother thought something was wrong because I wasn’t married. From my late teenage years to my early twenties she thought that something must be wrong with the boys. It was their fault that I didn’t receive any marriage proposals. Then from my early twenties to my mid twenties with all my girlfriends getting married and starting families, my mother started thinking that something must be wrong with me. It was my fault that I wasn’t being proposed to. I work too much. I don’t get out enough. I’m too picky. Yada, yada yada. To my mother, being unmarried is disease that must be eradicated from the face of the earth.”

“Are you too picky?”

“I guess I am. I mean, it’s not like I’m buying a car or a house. We’re talking about the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. For better. For worse. For richer. For poorer. It’s too important a decision not to be picky.”

“So how does all this end up with you being here?”

“Well after a while I started believing my mother. Maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe I don’t give the guys a chance. Maybe I am too distant and self-contained. So she heard through a friend who heard from a friend who heard from an acquaintance about this search for single women for this show and here I am.”

Clark was leaning on the table with his elbow and his chin in his hand. He thought he could look forever at the woman seated next to him.

”And what do you think now?”

Lana’s heart was pounding in her chest.

”I’m thinking that maybe my mother’s smarter than I think.”

Lana reached for Clark. He brought his elbow off the table and wrapped his arms around her. She held his face in her soft, gentle hands. She couldn’t stand it anymore. She closed her eyes and brought her lips to his. Her hands moved from his face and reached around his neck. She could feel her breath being taken away. He was closer to her than anyone…ever. She moved her mouth over his. She nibbled on his upper lip and then she probed her tongue slowly into his mouth.

Clark eyes popped open when this happened. He could feel the tip of Lana’s tongue sliding over his teeth and then meeting the tip of his tongue. When this happened, an electrical charge sparked between them and they both pulled back in sudden shock. They looked at each with astonishment in their faces. Then they moved back together. Clark held Lana in his arms and Lana buried her face in his chest. Lana whispered.

”After that, what’s next?”

Marcel then entered the booth with a tray carrying assorted sweet delicacies and coffee. Clark whispered back.

”I guess dessert.”

**********

Dessert was served and the couple was sharing a chocolate soufflés with French roasted coffee.

”You know my father’s worried about you.”

Clark almost gagged on his coffee.

”Worried about me? Why? He doesn’t even know me.”

“He’s afraid his only daughter will fall for a guy that doesn’t have a steady job.”

“Well, that’s at present. You can tell him that I’ve always managed to land on my feet.”

“He’ll be happy to hear that.”

Lana sat back and watched Clark eat the soufflés. He was going at the dessert as if they had never eaten an extravagant meal of several courses. She looked Clark up and down. Her eyes took in his broad shoulders, massive chest and V shaped waist. ”Where does the food go?” Clark brought his face up from the soufflé and looked at Lana.

”What?”

“I’m thinking I don’t want this night to end.”

At this point Chloe entered the booth.

”Time’s up, guys. You can stop speaking French now and turn up the lights.”

As Clark got up from the table he noticed the music that was being played. ”Perry would love this.” He took Lana’s hand and guided her to the dance floor. Chloe objected.

”Clark, Lana, we don’t have time for this.”

Clark answered,

”I’m making the time.”

Author’s Note: A musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFSfdL5lPoY

For the final time this night they took to the dance floor. Lana reached up and placed her arms on Clark’s shoulders. She laid her head on his chest and felt at peace. They danced for a few moments and then Clark quietly spoke.

”Hey.”

Lana lifted her head and looked at him. Clark continued.

”You said you didn’t want this night to end.”

Lana nodded her head and he continued.

”When I first met my biological father I thought it was the end of my journey. I was wrong. It was the beginning of a new journey. A better journey.”

Lana smiled. She liked the way Clark expressed himself.

”Clark, how did you get to be so smart?”

He raised his eyes as he answered.

”Oh that’s really complicated.”

**********

The couple rode in the limousine in silence. This time they didn’t bother with seat belts as Lana was cuddled next to him with her head on his chest underneath his arm. His arm was over her shoulders. Her arm was across his waist. She could hear his heartbeat. Clark could smell the sweet fragrance of her hair. Clark ran his fingers through her hair, moved a small section and planted a kiss on her head. This brought a smile to Lana’s face. She brought her hand up to his neck and loosened his bow tie. She undid his tie and undid the top button of his shirt. Then she undid several more buttons until his chest was exposed and slid her hand into his shirt and began caressing his chest. Her mouth went try as she felt his steel-like musculature and then to his washboard abs. ”Oh my God! Clark!”

Clark’s breathing increased as Lana’s hands moved over his chest, up to his neck and then back to his chest. He tilted his head and looked down into the front of her gown and glimpsed at the slight curve of her breast. A devilish voice in the back of his head shouted at him.

”Go ahead! Do it! Put your hand in there! You know she wants you to.”

But Clark’s upbringing caused him to resist the temptation. ”I am not the Man of Steel for nothing!" He looked ahead and saw the television camera in front him. He kissed Lana on her head and whispered to her.

”Lana, we’re not alone.”

Lana lifted her head and looked directly into the camera. The little indicator light was red, telling her that everything was being filmed. She had been so comfortable with Clark that she had forgotten that everything they had done and everything they had said had been recorded. She had forgotten about the cameras when she was kissing Clark on the dance floor and behind the curtain in the dining booth.

She looked up at Clark, brought her hand to the side of his face and turned his head towards her.

”I don’t care.”

Lana pulled on Clark and brought his lips to hers. She pushed up into him with one hand cupping his face and her other hand desperately grasping his arm. Their lips collided and they sparked again. But this time they didn’t pull apart and they let the spark generate into a charge that flowed through their bodies. Clark could feel the heat underneath his closed eyelids. He didn’t want to stop but he knew he had to. He parted his lips from Lana’s and whispered to her.

”Yes you do.”

Lana opened her eyes, caught her breath and looked into his eyes. Clark again whispered.

”Don’t forget. Your mom and dad will be watching this program.”

Lana chuckled. Clark was right. ”Mom would be shocked at seeing her daughter ready to eat Clark alive and Dad would be worried about a lot more than Clark not having a job.” She moved back to her original position and rested her head on Clark.

The limousine pulled up the Bachelorette Mansion. The driver exited the vehicle and opened the door. Clark got out and helped Lana out of the car. They walked hand in hand to the front door. Lana opened the door, turned around and stood in the doorway.

”Would you like to come in for a nightcap?”

Clark looked past Lana, activated his X-ray vision and saw that there were three bachelors in the living room having a conversation. Then he turned his head and saw that there were at least two different cameras focused on him.

”Maybe some other time.”

Lana then realized what Clark was looking at and nodded her head in agreement. She moved closer to him and placed her hands on his chest. She lifted up on her toes and lightly kissed him on the lips.

”Goodnight.”

Clark moved away from the doorway and turned to walk back towards the limousine. He was almost in the car when Lana called out to him.

”Clark..”

He turned around.

”Clark, this is just the beginning, right?”

He looked at her and burned her image into his memory.

”Count on it.”

Lana watched him get into the limousine and then watched the car pull away from the mansion and drive a hundred yards to the barn. She watched Clark get out of the car. He looked back at her and waved and she returned the wave. They stood for several seconds and just looked at each other in the distance. Then, as if knowing what the other was going to do, they both turned and went inside their respective dwellings.

Lana walked past the living room where the three bachelors were talking and was so caught up in thinking about the past evening that she didn’t even realize that the men were there. She didn’t hear one of the men remark.

”Well, I guess we should pack our things. I don’t think we’re going to be here much longer.”

She went upstairs to her bedroom, got out of her evening gown, and into a nightgown. She brushed out her hair and then before going to bed she went to the window and examined the roses Clark had given her. She looked out the window and stared at the moon. She began to hum a tune to herself.

”I’m as corny as Kansas in August,
I’m as normal as blueberry pie.
No more smart little girl with no heart,
I have found me a wonderful guy!

I am in a conventional dither,
With a conventional star in my eye.
And you will note there’s a lump in my throat
When I speak of that wonderful guy!

I’m as trite and as gay as daisy in May,
A cliché coming true!
I’m bromidic and bright
As a moon-happy night
Pouring light on the dew!

I’m as corny as Kansas in August,
High as a flag on the Fourth of July!
If you’ll excuse an expression I use,
I’m in love, I’m in love,
I’m in love, I’m in love,
I’m in love with a wonderful guy!

Author’s Note” If you’d like to hear the song here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMO72_TF9JY

**********

Clark entered the barn and walked up to the loft. He walked past Wayne and Somerset. The two men called out.

”Hey Clark! How’d it go?”

Even with his super ears Clark didn’t hear a word. On the top of the loft he stripped off his clothes and just threw them on the floor. He put on a pair sweat pants and a clean white tee shirt. He went to the window of the loft and looked out in the distance. The moon was shining brightly and he started humming a tune to himself.

”Perhaps I had a wicked childhood.
Perhaps I had a miserable youth.
But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truth.

For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should.
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good.

Nothing comes from nothing.
Nothing ever could.
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good.

From the barn below the loft one of bachelors yelled.

”Hey Kent! Shut up! We’re trying to sleep down here!”

End of Chapter Eighteen

**********

[CaptainObvious]

Man! Oldmankent, you've been busy! What a great update. Very clever on the idea of Clark and Lana speaking French. It obviously freaked out Chloe but oh well!

Just when you think the perfect moment is going to be sabataged by Missy Mason, ole Luke Oswald manages to unintentionally bumble his way in and smash into her! In my head I'm saying,.... no, not now......things are going perfectly for Clana...don't let her ruin it now......and thank god she didn't. Whew! Close call. Yet, Jason/Missy are already working on Plan B.

Oh ya, loved the title of the update: "Use The Force Luke". Good one!

Why did Lois have to blurt out that Clark didn't quit the DP? That comment could cause problems at some point.

[LetMeGo]

The first part of the update had me laughing out loud! Too bad Lois blurted out that bit about Clark not quitting. It was so sweet to see Clark opening up to Lana... now if they'd only admit what they're feeling to each other.

[oldmankent]

Chapter Nineteen

”Gentlemen’s Agreement”

”This is terrible!”

Chloe Sullivan knew it was going to be a bad day when her telephone rang at six thirty in the morning and the voice on the other end was Blake Whittaker’s secretary telling Chloe that a meeting was to be held at Whittaker’s office in an hour and a half at eight o’clock. She hurriedly showered and dressed and had the limousine take her to ABC Headquarters in downtown Los Angeles. The distance was only ten miles from the mansion but it took thirty minutes to cover the distance in the already bumper to bumper traffic on the freeway. She entered ABC Headquarters with fifteen minutes to spare and ran directly to the executive conference room. When Whittaker called for a meeting at a specific time it was clearly understood that the attendees would be required to be in the room waiting for Whittaker to enter. Arriving late could be a career killer.

Chloe entered the conference room and saw that the entire production crew of The Bachelorette was seated around a large mahogany conference table. She looked at Steve the Studio Director, who was sitting at the far end of the room trying to see if he knew what was going on. He shrugged his shoulders and then pointed to the matching credenza. ”Oh no. No bagels. No rolls. No coffee. This can’t be good.” Chloe walked to and sat down in the empty seat next to Steve.

Whittaker entered the room. He was cleanly shaved and neatly groomed and wearing a tailor made double breasted gray suit with a dark red power tie and matching pocket square. With his closely trimmed gray hair and square shoulders he looked like a general who was about to address his troops. He closed the door, walked to the head of the table and for the next hour he excoriated everyone in the room.

”This is terrible! We have four episodes to go and Lang has already made a decision! How did this happen? Sullivan?”

Chloe swallowed hard and tried to compose herself.

”Mister Whittaker, I’m sorry but I don’t understand. Lana Lang has fallen in love with Clark Kent and it looks like he has fallen in love with her. What’s the problem? I mean, isn’t that what The Bachelorette is about? Two people finding each other and falling in love.”

Whittaker looked directly at Chloe and shook his head like a teacher who just heard a student say that two plus two equals one hundred and forty three. He looked at the person sitting directly to his right and spoke in a mocking tone of voice.

”She thinks that it’s about two people finding each other and falling in love. She thinks that I am running a damn matchmaking service.”

He then directed his heavy artillery remarks back at Chloe.

”The Bachelorette is not about love! It’s about ratings!”

Chloe was using every ounce of her willpower to keep from shaking with fear. She had witnessed other people break down in tears before a Whittaker onslaught. She had never dreamed that she would be on the receiving end. Whittaker took a deep breath to calm down and continued.

”Perhaps I promoted you too quickly to executive producer. Perhaps it would have done you some good to clean toilets in the executive washroom instead. You see, Chloe, executive producers have to get it. You don’t seem to get it. Let me explain to you what it is.

We have sponsors who pay us money and we have a contractual obligation to deliver to them a specific Nielsen rating so that they can promote their products before the largest possible audience. The higher the ratings the more money we make. When the first episode of The Bachelorette aired we had a focus group watching the proceedings in real time to gauge their reaction. They took an instant liking to Clark Kent. That’s why we kept him even though he wasn’t one of the official bachelors. Why did they like him over all the others? What can I say? Americans have always loved the underdog. With America’s sweetheart, Lana Lang and the underdog Clark Kent we expected our ratings to dominate this season.”

Chloe spoke up.

”But our ratings are in the stratosphere. We’re dominating Monday nights. Even against ‘24’ and ‘Heroes’ and ‘CSI’. We….”

Whittaker raised his hand to stop her.

”The next time you interrupt I’ll have you escorted out of the building and you will never set foot inside again. Do you understand?”

Chloe dropped her eyes as she nodded her head. Whittaker continued.

”Yes, Ms. Sullivan. We are dominating the ratings. For now! As long as the mystery remains as to who Lana will pick and the underdog in is the picture the ratings will remain right where we want them. But with four episodes to go it appears that Lana Lang has already made her decision.”

Whittaker picked up a folder from the table, opened it, put on a pair of reading glasses and began to read.

”We’re still having what they said translated but after one of their very public lip locks Lana said and I quote, ‘I know that the show must go on but right now this contest is over’, end quote. By the way, it was absolutely brilliant for Kent to start speaking in French and for Lana to dim the lights in the booth. Chloe didn’t it ever occur to you that a romantic evening means dimmed lighting and you should have adjusted your cameras accordingly?”

Chloe reluctantly shook her head.

”This was the first time we used Le Giraffe, Mister Whittaker. Based on our past experience every couple has been more than willing to say and do everything in full view of the camera. We never expected that Clark and Lana would want to be so private.”

Whittaker nodded his head in understanding.

”Obviously, Lana Lang and Clark Kent are not the type of people we would see on the Jerry Springer show. But let’s get back to Lana’s declaration. Lana has already made up her mind. Clark Kent is the winner and we have four episodes to go. The mystery and suspense of her final decision is gone. There is not a reason in the world for anyone to continue watching the show. And if no one watches the show we will not achieve the ratings we guaranteed our sponsors and then they will want their money back.”

Chloe sheepishly raised her hand to ask permission to speak. Whittaker nodded his permission.

”But Mister Whittaker, people want to see Clark and Lana together.”

Whittaker waved her off.

”No, Ms. Sullivan. Perhaps I should get Agnes Nixon, the creator of All My Children, to come in here and explain it to you. People want to see a man and a woman fall in love. People want to see a man and woman fall out of love. No one wants to see a man and woman stay in love. It’s boring! That’s why young couples in soap operas never stay together. That’s why the only couples in soap operas who remain faithful to each other are collecting Social Security, are ready for the nursing home and need their food chewed for them. Because the audience doesn’t give a damn about them. That’s why the character of Erica Kane has been married eighteen freaking times!

Now this Kent guy has turned out to be a ratings killer. I was hoping that there would be a natural resentment against him and there was in the beginning. But now everyone likes him. Wayne and Somerset are practically giving him to Lana. MacMurphy and Sheppard voluntarily left the show and practically endorsed him for President. We have no conflict! Usually when we have the women go after one man the women get b*tchy and catty with one another. Usually when the men go after one woman the men get all competitive and territorial and start butting heads like rams on the mountainside. Kent has everyone sitting around the campfire singing Kumbaya.”

Again Whittaker let Chloe speak.

”Mister Whittaker, I can’t explain it. Clark Kent seems to bring out the best in people.”

“Ms. Sullivan, the viewing public doesn’t want to see the best in people. It wants to see the worst in people. Look at Survivor and the Apprentice. Does the public root for the nice guys? No. Everyone loves the bastard of the show. Why? Because to Joe and Jane Television it is emotionally reassuring to them that there are people out there who are worse than them. Saints do not make a hit. Sinners do.”

Whittaker then addressed everyone.

”Okay, here’s our problem. We have no contest and we have no conflict. Soon we will have no audience and we will lose an awful lot of money. What are we going to do about it?”

Steve raised his hand and Whittaker acknowledged him.

”We can edit the final four episodes to such a degree that we will give just a little time to Clark and Lana and a maximum amount of time to Lana and the other bachelors. The audience will never know what’s really happening.”

“I thought of that and that’s a good idea. Edit the crap out of it. Do not. I repeat. Do not show Clark and Lana kissing on that dance floor or in the limo. Do not give the audience anything that will make them think that Lana prefers Kent over the others. Forget about translating the French into English. We’ll do voiceovers instead. The ‘a girl dreams of her knight in shining armor’ crap. But here’s my biggest worry.

The spoilers.

The blogs on the Internet are already filled with speculation that Kent is the sure winner. If any unofficial spoilers get out to Entertainment Weekly or TV Guide about what is really happening out there we’ll be up the creek without a paddle. What do we do about that?”

The room descended into an uncomfortable silence. After a few minutes Whittaker spoke.

”Here’s what we’ll do. We’ll create our own spoilers and leak them out. The only question is what? What do we say?”

Again everyone was silent. Whittaker dismissed them.

”Okay, we’ll figure out something. Send me your ideas no matter how crazy they may sound. Go out and edit and do the voiceovers. And get the word out that if anyone leaks out an unofficial spoiler to the press I will personally ensure that they will never work in this town in this business again and when I’m through with them they’ll be lucky if they find a broadcasting job in bloody Uganda!”

Everyone left the conference room. Whittaker’s secretary entered.

”Mister Whittaker, Mrs. Genevieve Teague and her son, Jason, are waiting for you in your office.”

*********

Whittaker walked from the conference to his office. His office was in stark contrast to the conference room. Whereas the conference room was decorated in the finely crafted wood of another era, Whittaker’s office was made out in glass and metal with several high definition flat screen televisions on the wall opposite his desk. Genevieve and Jason Teague were waiting for him when he entered.

He approached Genevieve and they exchanged kissed on both cheeks as old friends.

”Genevieve, you look wonderful.”

Whittaker simply nodded his head to Jason.

”Jason.”

Instead of being seated around his desk he led them to a pair of small sofas that were facing each other with a glass coffee table in between. He politely asked if they wanted any coffee and they politely declined. Jason sat with his mother on one sofa while Whittaker sat across from them.

”Genevieve, Jason, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?”

Genevieve stated that she would let Jason do the talking.

”Blake, you have a problem.”

“Jason, I’ve known your mother a long time. I know her well enough to know that she must have taught you some manners. By calling me Blake you are assuming a familiarity between us that does not exist. I suggest you start over or you will have wasted my time and yours.”

“Mister Whittaker…”

“That’s better.”

“Mister Whittaker, you have a problem. Your series, The Bachelorette that started out so promising is about to wither and die on the vine. I can save it.”

“Jason, with all due respect, we brought you back to The Bachelorette to boost our ratings and the result of that move is that Lana Lang is about to kick your ass off the show. Now what could you possibly do in your sorry state to save my show when you can’t even save yourself?”

“Mister Whittaker, you need to keep up audience interest. Otherwise your sponsors are going to be very angry and you will lose a lot of money. The audience for the premier of LOST was down 25% from last year. You have nothing to compete with ’30 Rock’ on NBC. Your network needs a winner. You can help The Bachelorette with some clever editing but you will have a much more difficult time keeping the spoilers and the bloggers under wraps. What you need is something that the audience is craving.”

“And what would that be?”

“A bad guy.”

“And who would that be?”

“Clark Kent is not what he appears to be.”

Whittaker was silent. He looked at Genevieve and then he looked back at Jason.

”What do you know about Kent?”

“Not so fast, Mister Whittaker. First, let’s talk about what I want in return for saving your show…and your sorry ass.”

Whittaker gave Jason an amused smirk. Genevieve remained motionless. Whittaker thought, ”She wouldn’t be here if Jason wasn’t on to something.”

”State your terms.”

“If what I have to say pleases you and if Lana Lang decides she no longer wants me as one of the chosen few….”

“It’s not an ‘if’. It’s a ‘when’.”

“….you will bring me back as her knight in shining armor, as her rescuer. To comfort and console her in her hour of need.”

“Her hour of need?”

“When she finds out that the man she loves has a secret. When she is betrayed by Clark Kent.”

The words, ‘Betrayed by Clark Kent’ caused Whittaker’s eyes to grow wide. He leaned forward to hear more. He looked over to Genevieve and she nodded her head in concurrence. He went back to Jason.

”What do you know?”

“Do we have a deal…..Blake?”

Whittaker almost winced at the familiar use of his first name. Then a smile came to his face and he extended his hand.

”If what you are about to tell me pleases me, I’ll bring you back anyway you want. It will be the second coming of Jason Teague. You have a deal…Jason. Or perhaps I should call you, Mister Teague.”

Both Genevieve and Jason smiled the same type of smile. Jason extended his hand and he and Whittaker shook hands. Whittaker rose to his feet and went to the telephone on his desk.

”Bring us some coffee and some danish, please.”

Then he rejoined the son and mother.

”Tell me, Jason. You don’t love Lana Lang. I doubt if you’ve ever loved anyone. Why are you doing this? You don’t need the publicity.”

Teague rose to his feet so that he wasn’t being looked down on and he was looking Whittaker in the eyes.

”My mother taught me many things. Her most important lesson was to never accept defeat. I don’t like to lose.”

**********

The remaining bachelors were taken to the Mansion for Lana to choose who would remain. There were twelve bachelors before the two group dates and the single date. Now the amount was to be cut down to six. This time instead of choosing who would remain and giving them a rose, Lana was to choose who would go and personally say goodbye. It was a different set of dynamics and not comfortable to deal with.

The three bachelors who last stayed in the mansion: Victor Schaffley, Hugh Coulter and Dennis Richardson were quickly counted down. All three men were disappointed in the decision but understanding as to the reason. All three men were reasonable and had recognized the handwriting on the wall when Lana came back to the mansion after her date with Clark. Each man gave Lana a kiss on the cheek and then was led away. It was now time to pick among the men in the barn.

Umberto Nicolini.

Umberto kissed Lana on both cheeks and wished her luck. He went back to Clark and shook his hand and then he waved goodbye.

”Ciao!”

Michael Scott.

Scott was stunned and walked forward like a zombie towards Lana. She kissed him on the cheek and explained that she thought he was a fine man and that there must be a fine woman out there waiting for him. He was led away to the limousine. As he got into the vehicle he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a preset number.

”Hello, Mom! It’s Mikey. Can I come home?”

There were seven men remaining. Lana went through her list. Of course, Clark would be the number one person to remain. She then made her decision as to who would be the most fun. Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset were no brainers. Cash McCall and Thomas T. Thomas were sort of stiff when the group date started but loosened up as the night went on. ”Okay. So I’m keeping Clark, Bruce, Russell, Cash and Thomas. One more to go.” She looked at Vincent Terranova and Jason Teague. ”I really haven’t spent much time with Vincent. Maybe I should get to know him better. He might become a good friend.”

Lana was about to call out Jason’s name but her eyes drifted towards Clark. Her eyes lit up at the sight of him and she could see a small smile on his face that was meant only for her. ”Oh Clark, I love you. When are you going to tell me that you love me so that I can tell you the same?”

”Cl…”

Lana caught herself and stopped. She had almost made a major error. For a moment she thought she was giving Clark a rose. If she had called out his name he would have been eliminated from the contest. All eyes turned to Clark and he swallowed hard. Lana put her fingers to her mouth.

”Oops.”

She composed herself and was ready to call out Jason’s name.

”Lana…”

Vincent Terranova stepped forward and walked up to Lana.

”Lana, I can’t stay.”

Lana said nothing but her expressive eyes asked why.

”Lana, I’m in love with someone. Her name is Veronika. It just sort of happened.”

Wayne and Somerset looked at each other with a ‘you got to be kidding me’ expression. Jason breathed a sigh of relief. Lana spoke quietly to Terranova.

”Does she love you?”

He nodded his head.

”Then I’m happy for you, Vincent.”

She warmly hugged Vincent and he whispered in her ear.

”I’m sorry, Lana.”

She whispered back.

”Don’t be sorry. I’m in love with someone too.”

They said goodbye and then Terranova was led to a waiting limousine. Inside, waiting for him was a voluptuous brunet. Two arms were extended, wrapped him around the neck and pulled him into the vehicle as the door closed behind him.

The remaining bachelors were:

Clark Kent
Cash McCall
Russell Somerset
Jason Teague
Thomas T. Thomas
Bruce Wayne

The time for staying in the barn was at an end. All six men would now move into the Mansion with Lana.

End of Chapter Nineteen

**********

[CaptainObvious]

Here we go! Doom is on the way! I guess I shouldn't be surprised with the tricks of Jason. Mr. Whitaker sure is a creep too! Poor Chloe is just trying to save her job. I suppose Jason will spill the word on Clark that he's really a reporter for the Planet and only doing a story about the show and being deceitful toward Lana for letting their relationship go this far. How is Clark going to save himself from this mess?

Post again soon!

[ClanaGirl]

Hey sorry I haven't replied sooner. Oldmankent you did a great job. I loved the way the THings now are getting tougher will Jason get his story to lie to Lana? will Clark tell Lana his secret ? your a genous oldmankent continue i read all your updates.
and i totally agree with you CaptainObvious

[oldmankent]

Chapter Twenty

”With Six You Get a Hot Tub.”

The episode of The Bachelorette was broadcast the following Monday. The following was shown to the viewing audience.

1. The drawing to determine which bachelors would stay in the Mansion and which bachelors would stay in the barn.
2. The vote to determine which bachelor would go on the single date with Lana.
3. Lana’s group A date to the Magic Circus.
4. Lana’s group B date to the Oprah Winfrey Show.
5. Jason Teague’s declaration as to his intentions on the Oprah Winfrey Show.
6. Lana’s group B date to the batting cages and learning how to hold a bat with David Wright. (Excluding Wright’s comment about Teague not having a big enough bat.)
7. Lana’s group date B to the comedy club in downtown Los Angeles.
8. Lana’s interaction with the three bachelors in the mansion.
9. The interaction between the bachelors in the barn.
10. Clark picking up Lana at the Mansion for the single date.
11. Clark and Lana arriving at Le Giraffe.
12. Clark taking Lana back to the mansion. (Kiss excluded.)
13. The bachelors meeting at the mansion for the Lana’s decision.
14. Lana’s almost mistake in saying Clark’s name.
15. Vincent Terranova volunteering to leave the show.

Excluding commercials, the episode aired for forty two minutes.

**********

Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen watched the episode in their hotel rooms. Both were struck by the observation that although Clark and Lana’s date had lasted over five hours it was edited down for television to less than one and a half minutes. None of the conversation between Clark and Lana was aired. Instead there was a voiceover from Lana regarding her parent’s perfect marriage and her desire to find her soul mate the way her parents found each other.

The couple dancing at Le Giraffe wasn’t shown. Neither was the incident between Missy Mason, Oliver Queen and Lois.

Lois and Jimmy took particular notice that at the end of the episode when Lana was making her decision as to who would be the last bachelor to leave, the camera spent a great deal of time focusing on Clark as if Lana was seriously considering cutting him loose. A great deal of tension was created when Lana almost said Clark’s name and a large pause occurred before Vincent Terranova stepped forward. Lana’s ‘oops’ was never aired.

The episode ended with Lois and Jimmy scratching their respective heads as to what happened to Clark. It was as if he had disappeared and Lana was now more interested in the other men.

Oliver Queen and his friends went back to Metropolis. They watched the program in Oliver’s apartment and were left silent by what was not shown of the event at Le Giraffe. Luke was particularly upset.

”They cut me out! They totally cut me out! This could have been my big breakthrough! I was in Hollywood! I could have been a star!”

“In what? Earth versus The Pillsbury Dough Boy?”

Perry White watched the program in his living room and was frustrated that there was so little of Clark in the episode. He was certain that Clark would have sent him another coded message. He wondered if Clark had been found out. He was also frustrated that the musical selection used on the Oprah Winfrey Show was from The Spinners and not Elvis Presley.

**********

The Ausiello Files

Hello Bachelorette Fans! Some startling news from the Bachelorette Mansion in Los Angeles. I know that many of you are rooting for Clark and Lana to hook up at the end the series but maybe everyone, including yours truly, has jumped the gun. Word from the Mansion is that all is not well between the heart throbbing couple and that Lana Lang is seriously considering her options.

I’ll keep you posted on further developments.

**********

The six remaining bachelors moved into the Mansion. They each doubled up in the guest bedrooms. Clark was rooming with Cash McCall. Russell Somerset was rooming with Jason Teague and Bruce Wayne was rooming with Thomas T. Thomas.

The six men came down for breakfast the next morning. It was a pleasant day, the sun was shining and breakfast was served outside by the pool. Once outside the men went to the groups they had initially formed; Clark with Bruce and Russell and the Jason with Thomas and Cash.

Lana came down from her bedroom and joined them. She was a white terry cloth robe with a navy blue one piece swimsuit underneath. The men rose to their feet as Lana entered.

”Hi guys! I thought we’d eat breakfast together and then spend some time in the hot tub.”

Smiles came over the faces of all of the men. They joined Lana at a large rectangular table. Lana was sitting at the head of the table. The two groups left their separate tables and joined her. Clark, Bruce and Russell on one side of the table. Jason, Cash and Thomas on the other side of the table. Clark in is usual humility was about to take the seat at the far end of the table and furthest away from Lana when Russell cut in front of him.

”That’s my seat, old boy. It has my name on it.”

Clark then tried to take the seat next to Russell and Bruce cut him off.

”That’s my seat, Clark. Why do I get the feeling that in high you always sat in the back of the class?”

Clark moved to the empty seat next to Bruce and found himself right next to Lana. She smiled at him.

”Don’t worry, Clark. I won’t bite.”

As Lana finished the word, ‘bite’ she thought, ”I won’t bite anything….. vital.” Lana felt her face getting flushed at her own thoughts.

Jason sat across from Clark and stared at his adversary with an expressionless face. Clark ignored him and smiled at Lana as he sat down.

As Russell sat down one of the production assistants brought him half a dozen newspapers. Bruce was curious about this.

”Russell, what’s going on with all the newspapers?”

“I’m a bit of a news junkie. I’ve missed what’s going on for the past several weeks. I thought I’d do some catching up.”

He laid out copies of The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The London Times, The Gotham City Gazette and The Metropolis Daily Planet. He scanned the front page of each of the papers and then he laid the front pages of Daily Planet and the Gazette side by side.

Gotham City Gazette
Thursday: February 19, 2009

Police Commissioner to the Batman
“Good Riddance! And Don’t Come Back!”

Police Commission Cecil Kuhn, when asked to comment on the absence of reports involving the Batman over the past month casually remarked, “We don’t need the Batman in the Gotham City. We never did. As far I’m concerned, it’s good riddance! And don’t come back!” When asked to comment further……


Daily Planet
Thursday: February 19, 2009

Mayor to Superman
“Is It Something I Said?”

Mayor Jefferson Washington, when asked to comment on the numerous observations that Superman has been mysteriously missing over the skies of Metropolis expressed concern over the Man of Steel’s absence from the daily life of the city. “I hope he just taking a well deserved vacation and this is not a permanent departure. I’m losing sleep thinking that I did something to offend Superman. Is it something I said? If this is the case let’s sit down and talk.” Over the past month Superman has not made a single appearance during any attempted crimes or emergency situations, leaving these events in the hands of the Police Department, the Fire Department and the Emergency Response Teams. When asked to comment further……

Lana noticed how Russell was studying the two newspapers and she inquired.

”Russell, what’s so interesting?”

“I think Gotham’s Batman needs a public relations agent.”

There was some chuckling around the table at his remarks. Bruce and Clark remained noticeably silent. Lana followed up.

”What do mean, Russell?”

“Well, the Police Commission in Gotham City treats the Batman as if her were one of the criminals that need to be put away.”

Clark spoke up.

”That’s because Kuhn is corrupt. If anyone should be Police Commissioner it should be a guy named Gordon.”

Everyone sat up at Clark’s comment. Bruce paid particular attention to Clark’s remarks. Clark elaborated.

”I have some colleagues who work for several papers in Gotham City. From what they tell me, Kuhn is on the payroll of several criminal kingpins over there.”

Teague quickly asked.

”What do you mean by ‘have some colleagues’. I thought you quit the Daily Planet.”

Clark nodded his head and conceded to Jason.

”You’re right, Jason. I should have said,‘had some colleagues’. I stand corrected.”

Bruce spoke up

”Clark, what makes you say that Gordon should be the Police Commissioner?”

“My sources tell me. Excuse me, Jason. My former sources told me that Gordon is the only official who visibly lives within his salary. He’s been on the force for twenty years. He and his family still live in a small apartment in the city and he drives a ten year old car. Kuhn is on the take and always has been. With an official salary of $120,000 a year, Kuhn lives in an $800,000 house in the suburbs, sends his kids to private schools, leases two fairly new Lexus SUVs and somehow finds the dues for membership in a very exclusive country club.”

“You seem to know an awful lot about what’s going on in Gotham City, Clark.”

Clark said nothing in response at first. Then he elaborated.

”Before I left the paper I was starting to do some research on the corruption in Gotham City and the frustration of its citizens in dealing with the corruption. And then the Batman appeared and things started happening. My gut instinct told me that the probability was high that the Batman’s activities were directly related with the amount of corruption and legal system’s inability to deal with that corruption. Although I don’t always agree with the Batman’s methods I think he probably has a pretty good reason for doing what he does.”

Both he and Bruce looked at each other with an expression on their faces that no one could read. A momentary silence ensued and Lana broke the ice.

”So Russell, you think the Batman could use a public relations expert?”

“Most certainly. That’s why I comparing the two newspapers. The officials in Metropolis love Superman. The officials in Gotham City despise the Batman. Yet the two men are doing basically the same thing.”

Clark responded.

”I don’t understand how you can say that.”

“Well, look at it this way, old boy. Of course, Superman has super powers and can perform rescues and other actions that would be impossible for the Batman. But the Batman is trying to hit at the core of organized crime. Superman keeps the streets safe by stopping crime as it happens. The Batman is trying to keep the streets safe by targeting the brains behind the operations so that the crime is never committed in the first place. Their methods have both advantages and disadvantages.”

Bruce responded.

”Such as?”

Somerset continued.

“Superman obeys the law. He catches the criminal in the act and hands him over to the police. The legal cases are over and done. But because he works in full public view he never has the opportunity to get at the root cause of the crime. The result is that Superman is just skimming the surface of organized crime and one criminal is simply replaced by another.

The Batman works in the shadows and targets the alleged criminal bosses. But because he doesn’t follow proper police and legal procedures, the bosses he captures are released on legal technicalities and only grow bolder. They increase their activities to try to draw out the Batman. Hoping to confront and kill him and claim self defense and no one would raise an eyebrow.

I think it would be interesting if both Superman and the Batman would meet, settle their philosophical differences and combine their talents. The positive publicity for the Batman would be tremendous. If the Batman is endorsed by Superman how could a Police Commissioner refuse the Batman’s help without revealing that he’s been corrupted? And if Superman were to team with the Batman, both the criminals on the street and the brains behind them would be shaking in their boots in thinking that Superman will adopt a more aggressive method of law enforcement.

It would be the best of both worlds.”

Lana nodded her head at Somerset’s insight. Teague, Thomas, and McCall just responded with a ‘hmmm’. Clark and Bruce remained silent. Clark glanced at the headline on the Daily Planet. ”I’ve been so caught up in this I didn’t even notice that I haven’t been Superman.”

Breakfast was served. Everyone had their fill of bacon, sausages, eggs, pastries, yogurt, fresh fruit, coffee and orange juice. The newspapers were passed around the table and Clark ended up with the Gotham City Gazette. He examined the front page and the headline regarding the Police Commissioner’s contempt for the Batman. Below the headline was a file photo of the Batman that had been taken by an amateur photographer. The photo wasn’t clear and the background was dark. All that could be made out was the distinctive silhouette of the Batman. He seemed to be standing on the top of a building and looking downward at the city as if he were on guard. ”Where have I seen this before?” Clark studied the photograph. He even tipped his head so that he wasn’t looking through his eyeglasses.

As much as Clark was studying the photograph, Lana was studying him. ”He’s so focused.” There was a lot of chatter around the table. Lana thought she would take the opportunity to say a few words to the man she had fallen in love with.

”Clark?”

Clark didn’t answer as he was still studying the newspaper. Lana called out again without any effect.

”Clark!”

Clark raised his head.

”Hmmm?”

Lana thought it was wonderful that Clark was so absorbed and wondered what could have captured his attention.

”Clark, are you ready to go in the hot tub with me?”

If Clark had been alone with Lana he would have jumped at the chance. But being with the other men and on camera made him think otherwise.

”Well, I…I…I didn’t bring a swim suit with me.”

Somerset responded.

”You can have one of mine.”

”Well, I….I….I really don’t like to wear someone else’s clothes. Especially clothes for….down there.”

“Down where?”

“You know. Down….”

Clark nodded towards his crotch.

….there. It’s a cleanliness is next to Godliness sort of thing.”

One of the production assistants reassured Clark.

”That’s okay, Mister Kent. We can supply you with a brand new swimsuit. Never been used.”

This was not what Clark wanted to hear. He struggled to hide his displeasure from becoming evident in his voice.

”Oh. That’s….just….wonderful. How very kind of you.”

“No problem.”

Lana felt her temperature rise at the thought. ”Ooh. I get to see Clark with his shirt off. I hope they give him a SPEEDO to wear.”

Teague’s group had left the table and went back to their rooms to get changed. Lana turned her attention to Wayne.

”How about you, Bruce? Are you coming in?”

Bruce shook his head.

”I’ll pass. I’ve never been much for sharing hot tubs or Jacuzzis.”

Lana was about to object but Wayne suddenly got up from the table and began to walk back towards the house. Clark was surprised at Wayne’s answer. He remembered seeing a tabloid about Bruce Wayne and two young lovelies spending some time fully clothed in a public fountain in a restaurant during the dinner hour. ”Maybe he had too much to drink then.” Clark turned around and watched Bruce walk back to the house. Something didn’t seem right. He activated his X-ray vision to look just underneath Bruce’s clothes.

Clark could see some fading scars in Wayne’s back – the remnants of some stitches. He also saw some fading bruises on around his ribs, upper arms, and thighs. Bruises that must have been much more evident and much more painful a month ago when the program started.

Clark looked back at the photograph in the newspaper. Then an image flashed in his mind. An image of Bruce Wayne standing in the dark at the private airfield where he had brought Lana and Clark. ”I’ll be damned!” He looked back at Wayne but the billionaire had already gone back into the house.

The other bachelors had gone back into the house to change, leaving Clark and Lana alone. She placed her hand on his.

”Hey. What are you thinking about?”

Clark snapped out of his focused thoughts.

”Thinking?”

“Yeah. Thinking. You’re obviously thinking about something.”

“Thinking. I’m thinking about a lot of things these days.”

Lana’s smile widened.

”So am I.”

Lana then realized that the camera was filming their every move and she withdrew her hand. ”I want this to be over and I want us to be together without the cameras.” Lana was surprised at her own feelings. She was growing impatient. She realized that she had never felt this way before and it scared her that the feelings she had inside could be so powerful. A part of her said that she was on the program to have fun and that she should enjoy having the attention of six gorgeous men. But another part was telling her that she was wasting her time. She knew who she wanted. Why pretend otherwise? But as usual her common sense won. ”It’s only four more weeks, Lana. You can wait four weeks.”

Jason Teague’s group of bachelors came out of the house in their bathing suits and got into the steaming Jacuzzi.

”Come on in, Lana! It’s great!”

Lana looked towards Clark.

”Are you going in?”

Clark was hesitant and mumbled his words. Lana brought her fingers to her mouth and her eyes widened.

”You’re shy, aren’t you?”

Clark continued to stammer. Lana thought his hesitancy was cute. ”I’d really like to see him with his shirt off. I wouldn’t mind seeing him with his pants off either.” Lana felt a rush of heat flow through her and she scolded herself for what she was thinking.

”Come on, Clark. For me.”

Clark nodded his head and got up from the chair. As he walked towards the house to go back to his room and get changed a production assistant handed him a swimsuit that was in a clear plastic bag. Clark opened the bag, examined the swimsuit and frowned. ”A SPEEDO. Wonderful.” Clark continued to slowly walk towards the house until he heard the men in the pool.

”Come on, Lana! Forget Clark! Come on and get in the hot tub!”

Clark turned and saw Lana remove her robe to reveal her swimsuit. He momentarily lost his breath as he viewed the trim Bachelorette in her modest but at the same time, enticing swimsuit. Lana was not tall but she was trim and in excellent physical condition. Her legs were slender but well muscled and tapered. Her backside was in rounded proportion to her petite figure. The suit accentuated her narrow waist and covered her curves like a second skin. Lana took her long hair and pinned it together atop her head so it wouldn’t get wet. Clark looked long and hard. Then he felt something else getting long and hard. ”Oh no! Down boy! Down!”

Lana knew that Clark was looking at her. She looked back at him and gave him a slight smile. ”I’m yours, Clark. If you want me. All you have to do is tell me that you love me.”

His cajoling had no effect on his stiffening manhood but something else did. The men in the hot tub were silent and staring at the lovely Lana. Clark could see their eyes moving up and down her body as she moved closer to the hot tub and he felt his anger rise as his erection subsided. ”I don’t like the way they’re looking at her.” Clark saw Thomas and McCall move so that a space was made for Lana to sit next to Jason. ”Oh no you don’t!”

Clark moved into the house so that he was out of the view of the camera and out of sight and then he quickly went into superspeed mode. Before Lana set a single toe in the hot tub Clark speeded past the tub and blew a blast of cold breath on the surface of the water. Then he speeded back to his bedroom. Changed into the SPEEDO swimsuit and covered his torso in a terry cloth robe that extended past his knees. Then he went back to his original position and walked normally out of the house.

Just as Lana was about to set foot into the tub she pulled back when she heard Teague, McCall, and Thomas cry out. The three men felt as if a barrel of ice had been poured on each of them and they jumped out of the tub as if they had been set on fire. Each shivered uncontrollably and their skin lost all color and became bleached white. Lana was dumfounded. One moment steam was rising from the tub. The next moment the water was practically frozen.

”What happened?”

Jason shivered out a response.

The wa….wa….water. It’s….co…co…co… cold!”

Several production assistants rushed to the pool with towels and robes. Others tired to figure out what went wrong. Lana re-covered herself with the robe she had taken off just a moment ago. Clark walked to Lana’s side.

”What happened, Lana?”

“I don’t know. One moment the hot tub was hot. The next moment it wasn’t. It’s really strange.”

Clark looked at Jason shivering while he was trying to put on his robe and he noticed that Jason’s swimsuit was clinging to his pelvis and outlining what was underneath. What Monty Python would refer to as ‘naughty bits’. Clark couldn’t help but comment.

”Jason, it looks you’ve got some considerable shrinkage down there.”

It took every ounce of self-discipline that Lana had to keep from laughing out loud. As Jason moved back to the house he was heard to mutter.

”Shrinkage? I’ll give you shrinkage. Kiss my ass, Kent!”

Lana and Clark walked back to the house together. She noticed that he was completely covered with his robe.

”So you’re not going to let me see you in your swimsuit?”

Clark sheepishly replied.

”No.”

“But you saw me in my swimsuit.”

A smile formed on Clark’s face as the image of Lana in her swimsuit formed in his mind.

“Yeah.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No. It’s not fair. But it is fun.”

Lana tried to act annoyed but her ire was false. In a way Clark was paying her a compliment and she just couldn’t be mad at that. As she and Clark walked together she looked behind him at his backside. She reached her arm around him and grabbed him by his hind quarters and squeezed to feel the taunt muscles of his gluteus maximus. Clark let out a ‘whoop’ and jumped up. Fortunately, he had the presence of mind to control the jump so that it was a human jump and he didn’t launch himself into the stratosphere. He stopped and turned to Lana who was facing him with a devious smile.

”Did you just do what I think you did?”

“Yep.”

“Something tells me that inside the angelic Lana Lang there’s a devil that’s aching to get out.”

“And something tells me that mild mannered Clark Kent would love every minute of it.”

**********

The next two episodes of The Bachelorette would consist of Lana visiting the bachelors’ families. This would take the next two weeks and would take her all over the country and across the Atlantic to Great Britain. The trips would go in reverse alphabetical order.

Lana visited Bruce Wayne’s mansion in Gotham City. Wayne had no immediate family but treated Alfred like a beloved grandfather. Lana took a liking to Alfred. At a dinner with the Gotham City elite Lana met the Gotham City Assistant District Attorney, Rachel Dawes. Bruce introduced her as a friend of the family. Lana’s female intuition told her that Rachel wanted to be considered more than just a friend of the family.

Lana’s next visit was to Thomas T. Thomas’ family in Philadelphia. She wasn’t surprised to learn that his father and grandfather were both named Thomas. Thomas’ mother informed Lana that she expected her first born grandson to be named Thomas.

Lana couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Lana’s last visit of the week was to Metropolis to visit the Teague family. This was the second time she had visited. The first time was when she was one of the three remaining bachelorettes when Jason Teague was The Bachelor. Lana was never comfortable around Genevieve Teague and that did not change. However, she noticed that Genevieve was more comfortable with her. Almost as if Genevieve expected the pairing of Jason and Lana to be a foregone conclusion.

Early the next week, Lana ventured across the Atlantic to Great Britain to meet Russell Somerset’s family. The meeting turned into a family reunion as several dozen members of Somerset’s extended family gathered to greet the famed bachelorette. Everyone piled into a small pub where there was singing, dart throwing, arm wrestling and a great deal of drinking. Several of Russell’s elderly aunts cornered Lana and surprised her when they said,

”We love out Russ but we think you and the Kent fella would make beautiful babies.”

Then they handed Lana a SNICKERS bar. Lana didn’t see Russell wink his eye at the elderly ladies when they left Lana. For the first time, the image entered Lana’s head of her and Clark holding the hands to a dark haired toddler walking between them.

The next to the last visit was to visit Cash McCall’s family in Dallas, Texas. His mother and father treated Lana cordially but Cash’s older sister was distant. Lana noticed that everyone deferred to the Maggie McCall including Cash. Maggie spent her entire time telling other people what she thought they should be doing. Who they should date. What they should eat. Where they should live. What they should wear and so on. Lana had once read that when you walk down the aisle at your wedding you are not only walking with your spouse but with your spouse’s entire family. Lana decided that even if the impossible happened and she did walk down the aisle with Cash McCall, there was no way in hell that she would ever walk with his sister.

The final trip was a flight from Los Angeles to Metropolis. And from Metropolis it was a three hour ride to Smallville, the Kent Farm and Martha Kent.

End of Chapter Twenty

**********

[ClanaGirl]

Dude Oldmankent how oculd you do this to us when you wrote the next chapter i na site it was pure genius expecially the part when Lana and Clark get caught having sex and Martha catches thme and says i never want to see you too having sex under my roof ever again. it eas sos funny tot hear martha say that post it soon or i will die i bet.

[CaptainObvious]

Nice update but in actuality, I would have liked the hot tub scene to play out more. I understand Clarks jealousy and what he did, but when the guys get together, who knows what can happen....plus reading about Clark in a Speedo is a visual that makes me smile.

Next up...meeting Martha Kent. I'm partial to loft scenes so hoping a conversation or two happens there.

[LetMeGo]

Shrinkage... LOL! Great chapter. Looking forward to Clark's home town date.

[ClanaGirl]

please oldmankent i agree update and LetMeGo a hot tub scene would have been wonderful i totally agree and maybe he could describe Clarks mucscles. and then Ollie and the gang comment and talk agai nabout hte stuff they usually do it would be halirious ha ha ha!!!

[ClanaGirl]

and sorry about first reply my mistake im a little farther ahead form reading your other one oldmankent but continue wonderful job!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Twenty One

”The Makings of a Beautiful Friendship”

Clark needed to talk to someone. When he was a boy and a teenager his father was always there to listen to him. Jonathan never judged Clark. He never scolded him. From an early age Clark displayed a wisdom that was beyond his years. So Jonathan treated him differently than other children. He always questioned Clark but he let Clark find the answers in his own way in his own time. Clark remembered the doubt that so often burdened him.

”Why is this happening to me? I don’t understand!”

Then he would feel his father’s strong reassuring hand on his shoulder and he knew everything would be alright. ”God I miss him.”

His mother was there for him but even she knew she could only do so much. Jonathan had passed. The farm needed to be cared for. Martha was getting on in years and Clark needed to leave.

”We both knew this time would come.”

Martha had her own problems. Clark would not give her his. He was on his own.

Besides, he was Superman. He was supposed to have all of the knowledge of the twenty eight known galaxies. He was supposed to have all of the answers. The National Inquisitor wanted to have a weekly ‘Dear Superman’ column. Of course, they would need Superman to write it and that just wasn’t going to happen. Perry White thought he had come up with next best idea. He tried to convince Clark to write a ‘What Would Superman Do?’ column. Fortunately, Clark was able to convince Perry that no one could possibly put themselves in Superman’s shoes. Perry then tried to convince Clark to write a ‘What Would Elvis Do?’ column. Clark reminded Perry that he was an investigative reporter and not an advice columnist. Besides, it was unlikely you could call Elvis on the telephone if you had a question.

It was one thing to be in love. It was quite another thing to be in love and not be able to talk about it. Clark was confused as to his actions the other day at the hot tub. He had acted emotionally when he iced the water. He had become aroused when he saw Lana in her swimsuit. His eyes roamed up her legs and over her body. It didn’t help that Lana gave him a look that basically said she knew he was looking her over. Knew and welcomed his inspection. But then he became aware that the other men were also inspecting Lana. ”Why shouldn’t they? She’s beautiful and she’s single. Why shouldn’t they look?” His intellect told him that the other men had a perfect right to pursue Lana. ”All’s fair in love and war.” His heart told him that he didn’t like it all. Once again, the voices inside his head began to argue.

”Do you love her, Clark?”

“Of course, I love her. How can I not love her?”

“Well, then why don’t you tell her?”

“But what if she doesn’t love me?”

“Clark, what’s wrong with you? She told you the contest is over.”

“I know. I know she did.”

“She kissed you in the middle of the dance floor in the most popular restaurant in the United States.”

“I know. I know. I was there.”

“She wanted you in the back seat of the limo on camera.”

“I know. I know. But what if she’s changed her mind? She’s over in England now. What if she’s had time to think about me and she’s come to the conclusion that maybe she doesn’t really care for me? You know. Out of sight. Out of mind.”

“Clark, that’s not going to happen.”

“It could happen.”

“Clark, how old are you?”

“In Kryptonian years or Earth years?”

“Earth years.”

“I’m twenty eight.”

“Well, you’re acting like a lovesick teenager.”

“I know that. I can’t help it.”

“Clark, there’s only one way you can be sure of Lana Lang’s feelings and put yourself at peace. You’re going to have to tell Lana Lang that you love her.”

“But I’ve never said those words to anyone before.”

“Clark, you can bend steel with your bare hands.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Clark, you can change the course of mighty rivers.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Well then, you can tell Lana Lang that you love her.”

“But that means….”

“Putting your heart on the line.”

The voices were silent. He was so used to being alone. Now it seemed that the sun wouldn’t shine unless Lana Lang was in his life. Clark murmured under his breath.

This is some scary stuff.”

“What’s scary stuff?”

Bruce Wayne was standing next to Clark.

”Hi Bruce.”

“So what’s scary stuff?”

“What?”

“You were saying that some stuff is scary.”

It was early afternoon. The two men were standing outside by the pool. Bruce had noticed that Clark was staring off towards the east. He joined Clark and handed him a bottle of beer.

”Don’t worry, Clark. She’ll be home soon.”

Clark took a sip of his beer and thought, ”Am I that obvious?” Clark asked Bruce a question.

”Bruce, why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Why are you helping me? After all, we’re supposed to be competitors.”

Bruce smiled at Clark.

”Clark, I’ve seen a lot of ugliness in this world. And when you see something that’s truly beautiful you don’t stop it. You get out of the way. Besides, maybe someday you’ll help me.”

Now it was Clark’s turn to smile.

”Like with what’s going on in Gotham City?”

This time it was Bruce Wayne who momentarily speechless.

”What would make you say that?”

“Let’s just say that for a multi-billionaire who has a reputation of being a carefree playboy, you seem to be uncharacteristically civic minded.”

Bruce nodded his head. ”Clark knows.” Bruce decided to take the chance.

”Hmmm. I was thinking about Russell’s suggestion. About Superman and Batman teaming up.”

Clark nodded his head. He looked Bruce directly in the eye.

”I let it slip the night on the way back from your jet, didn’t I?”

Bruce held back his laughter. He smiled and nodded. Then he asked Clark a similar question.

”How long have you known?”

“Not long.”

“What gave me away?”

“Let’s just say that the Batman has a certain….presence.”

Bruce looked hard at Clark.

”Maybe I should start wearing eyeglasses.”

Clark laughed.

”Bruce, what do you have in mind?”

“A joint announcement with both Superman and Batman. It will give us something to do while Lana is away.”

Clark nodded his head.

”Maybe Superman and the Batman should pay a visit to Ms. Sullivan. She might have some ideas. Something that would make a big splash.”

Bruce spoke as they walked back to the house.

”You know, Clark. I think this has the makings of a beautiful friendship.”

“Don’t tell me. Casablanca, 1943. Humphrey Bogart to Claude Raines.”

**********

Chloe Sullivan had accompanied Lana on her trips to the bachelors’ families. Lana was now back in Los Angeles preparing to visit Clark Kent’s family in Smallville. Chloe had some downtime before the crew left for Smallville so she decided to give Jimmy Olsen a call and see if he was available for lunch. Jimmy was pleasantly surprised at the phone call and the invitation and met Chloe at a small café near Sunset Boulevard. Afterward they walked to Grumman’s Chinese Theater.

Chloe was surprised and entertained that Jimmy seemed to know everything there was to know about old Hollywood movies. As they walked down the street and saw the names of the Hollywood stars that had been engraved in the sidewalks, Jimmy was familiar with all of their movies. They kept each other entertained as he acted like Humphrey Bogart and she acted like Lauren Bacall.

”Anytime you want me just whistle. You know how to whistle don’t you? Just put your lips together and….blow.”

Author’s Note” If you’re curious as to what I’m referring to, click on the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MheNUWyROv8

The remainder of the afternoon they spent in a small cinema that was showing a Ronald Coleman double feature – A Double Life and A Tale of Two Cities. At the end of the second feature Chloe heard Jimmy murmuring the closing line in a pseudo-British accent.

”It’s a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before. It’s a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known.”

Author’s Note” If you’re curious as to what I’m referring to, click on the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0WKzgNeRA4

Afterwards, they decided that they like each other’s company so much that they would continue the date and they went on to dinner.

Dinner was at a small restaurant where they consumed a couple of bottles of wine with their meal. A taxi took the couple back to the Bachelorette Mansion. Chloe and Jimmy entered the mansion and went directly to her bedroom.

The alcohol they consumed lowered their inhibitions and they soon found themselves lightly kissing. The light kissing turned into a heavy exploration of each other’s tonsils that rivaled the search for the Titanic and the couple soon found their hormones demanding the removal of their clothing.

Chloe got under the sheets of her bed and Jimmy joined her. But before they could continue in their foreplay Chloe noticed that the window door that led from her bedroom to a deck on the outside was open. She mumbled her request between heavy, wet kisses

”Jimmy, close… the… door.”

“Hmmmm?”

“The door. It’s open…Please…oh…do that again….close it.”

“You want me to get out of bed?”

“Yeah. You have to get out of bed to close the door unless you have telekinesis or something like that.”

“But…”

“Jimmy…please..Now. And get right back here.”

Jimmy jumped out of bed and stood in the front of the door. He was about to close it when he stopped.

”Oh crap!”

Chloe sat up in the bed as Jimmy back away from door. She was about to ask him what was wrong when a dark figure entered the room.

”Oh my God! It’s the Batman!”

Bruce Wayne entered the bedroom in full Batman regalia. Jimmy stood naked and paralyzed with fear. Chloe pulled the sheets over herself and cowered under them. When Bruce spoke his voice was gravelly and harsh.

”I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

Bruce looked at Jimmy and his eyes traveled down to Jimmy’s robust manhood.

”Hmmm. It looks like you’ve got more than a handsome face to offer Ms. Sullivan.”

Jimmy now became conscious of his nakedness and he ran back to the bed to get under the sheets with Chloe. Chloe spoke in fright and raised her hands as if she were warding off an attacker.

”Look! We don’t want any trouble.”

“Well, if that’s the case I hope you’re using condoms.”

The answer had come from someone other than the Batman. The voice wasn’t as harsh and gravelly but clear and authoritative. From behind Batman emerged the transformed Clark Kent.

”Superman!”

“We need to speak with you, Ms. Sullivan. Excuse us but we had no idea that you would be entertaining tonight.”

Jimmy turned red and Chloe calmed down. She felt safe in the presence of Superman.

”Superman, Mister Batman…”

“Just Batman will suffice.”

“Okay. Superman, Batman, what are you doing here.”

Batman and Superman stood on either side of the bed. Superman spoke.

”Jimmy, what are you doing here?”

Jimmy gave Chloe a curious look and then answered Superman’s question.

”Do you really want me to answer that?”

“I don’t mean what are you doing here in Ms. Sullivan’s bedroom. I mean what are you doing here in Los Angeles?”

Jimmy felt relief with the clarification.

”Chloe is Lois’ cousin. She invited Lois to watch the filming of the Bachelorette and Lois brought me with her.”

Clark nodded his head in understanding. He wondered how much Lois has already seen of the show. He thought it unwise to further probe. He addressed Chloe.

”Ms. Sullivan, we’re here because we need your help.”

Chloe was astonished at hearing such a request. Now that she had calmed down she looked over the two men in the dim light of her bedroom. Both were tall, broad and imposing.

”How can I help the two of you?”

Superman spoke for the duo.

”Batman and I have decided to join forces.”

The eyes of Jimmy and Chloe opened wide in hearing the announcement. Superman continued.

”The Batman and I intend to make the streets safe for everyone. We’d like to make an announcement that if you’re in the business of preying on the weak and the innocent, find a legitimate business or we will put you out of business. We would like as large a stage with as large an audience as possible to make this announcement.”

As if anticipating that Jimmy would respond, Superman raised his hand.

”I’m sorry, Jimmy. This is not a scoop for Lois Lane and the Daily Planet. We need a bigger venue for delivery.”

Batman leaned over Jimmy.

”And if you breathe a word of this…I will find you.”

Clark put on a serious expression but was laughing inside. ”That’s certain to kill any romantic intentions Jimmy had for this evening.” Clark smiled at the couple.

”I’m sure you need some time to think about this. I’ll be back tomorrow at the same time to discuss this. Please make sure we have some privacy.”

Both Chloe and Jimmy nodded their heads in agreement. Bruce walked to the window.

”Thank you for your help. Please continue with whatever it was you were doing.”

He then jumped out of the window and disappeared into the night. Clark nodded to the couple.

”Ms. Sullivan, it was a pleasure to meet you. Well Jimmy, I hope you intend to introduce Ms. Sullivan to your mother. She seems like a very nice girl. Have a good night.”

They watched Superman lift off the floor and float to the window. Then he shot into the sky and became one with the stars. Chloe uttered in awe.

”Wow!”

Then she looked at Jimmy.

”So when do I meet your mother?”

**********

Daily Planet
Thursday: February 26, 2009

Superman & Batman Make Major Appearance
At the Academy Awards!

The biggest surprise at the 2009 Academy Awards wasn’t Slumdog Millionaire being named Best Picture. The biggest surprise was the sudden appearance of Metropolis’ Superman and Gotham City’s Batman before a domestic and international audience of hundreds of millions.

Just before the announcement of Best Picture, the Batman swooped down onto the stage and casually walked to the microphone and gave Halle Berry a prolonged kiss on the mouth. The audience thought it was an elaborate prank until Superman floated over the heads of the audience and joined the Batman.

Everyone sat is stunned silence as Superman announced that he and the Batman would now be working together as a team to fight crime and corruption in their respective cities.

“All of you who would prey on the weak and the innocent, whether you are prowling the streets or sitting in the highest chambers of power, we say this to you tonight…

Your time is up!”

As the duo left the stage the Batman made the announcement that he would appreciate if the press correctly identified him. He is not The Batman. He is simply, Batman.

Further coverage on Page 7.

Gotham City Gazette
Thursday: February 26, 2009

Police Commissioner Leaves the Country!

Police Commission Cecil Kuhn has suddenly left Gotham City and the United States. Shortly after midnight Kuhn was seen by neighbors to be leaving his house with his family. No explanation was given but unnamed sources state that Kuhn’s actions were in response to the joint announcement by the Batman, now known as simply Batman, and Superman at the 2009 Academy Award in Los Angeles that they would be partnering to fight crime and corruption. The mayor of Gotham City has appointed James (Jim) Gordon as the interim Commissioner. The mayor said a permanent replacement will be named by the end of the month.

Further coverage on Page 12.

**********

Lana’s plane had arrived in Metropolis from Los Angeles. A limousine was waiting for her at Metropolis International Airport. Without delay she then made the three hour trip from Metropolis to Smallville. Lana was accompanied by Chris Harrison and a cameraman. Clark had gone ahead to Smallville the previous day with Chloe Sullivan and the production team to prepare his mother for the unexpected intrusion into her quiet life.

Through the window of the limousine Lana watched the landscape change from congested city streets to suburban developments with cookie cutter houses to miles and miles of cornfields. Harrison remarked.

”We’re in God’s country now.”

They entered the town of Smallville and drove through the main street. The street was filled with small shops, hardware stores, a few assorted eateries and a semi-large department store named Fordman’s. A few spectators pointed at the limousine with curiosity. Once Lana and her companions were through the main street and outside the downtown district they saw a large building with a sign that said,

Smallville High School
Home of the Crows
1999 State Football Champions

There were cornfields again on both sides of the road after passing the high school. The driver, following his GPS tracker, turned onto a dirt road and Lana could see a large farmhouse, some stables and a barn and a long unpaved driveway that had a wooden gate built around the entrance. On top of the gate was a sign that said,

KENT FARM

Never before had Lana felt such anxiety. ”God! I hope she likes me.” She felt her heart pounding in her chest. But once she saw the layout of the farm she felt a sense of relief. The house was painted a bright yellow and had an American flag flying next to the door. There were assorted flowers planted in a garden in front of the house. A tractor was parked in front of the barn along with a pickup truck. There was something about the farm that said ‘welcome’ to her. The limousine stopped. Then Harrison, the driver and the cameraman exited. Harrison opened the door for Lana and helped her out of the vehicle. Lana stood and looked at the house and then at the fields that extended past the horizon. A smile came to her. ”Oh! It’s beautiful here”

The door to the house opened and Clark came out to meet her. Beside him was a woman who was about Lana’s height and weight. Her silver-gray hair was tied in a bun on top of her head. Her eyes were blue and bright. Lana could see that Martha Kent must have been a beauty in her youth and now, although her youthful good looks had faded, Martha Kent still possessed a glow that lit up everything around her.

Clark and Martha walked down the steps to meet Lana. Lana stood in front of Clark and looked into his eyes. She didn’t know whether or not she should reach up and kiss him. She didn’t know how his mother would take it. But then Martha moved forward, took Lana in her arms and warmly hugged her. Martha slightly pulled back and looked at Lana.

”Oh dear. You’re even more beautiful than Clark said.”

Lana’s anxiety was melting away. The trio went into the house and into the living room. It was just as Lana imagined it. Sunlight was streaming through the windows. The furniture wasn’t new but it was in good condition and looked comfortable. The living room looked as if people weren’t afraid to ‘live’ in it. Martha turned to Lana.

”I’ll go in the kitchen and you and Clark can stay here for a moment. That way you can say hello to each other the way you really want to and you don’t have to worry about me.”

Martha scurried into the kitchen and out of view. Lana turned to Clark.

”Clark, your mother’s wonderful! I ….”

Before Lana could finish her sentence Clark had swept her up into his arms and placed his lips upon hers. She held him tightly and melted in his embrace as her hands went to the back of his head. His warmth and strength encompassed her. Clark was lost in the moistness of Lana’s lips and the softness of her hair. He struggled to separate his mouth from hers as he whispered.

”I really missed you.”

Lana caressed the back of his head and whispered back.

”I thought about you all the time.”

They heard Martha walking back from the kitchen and they released each other. As Martha re-entered the room Clark and Lana tried to appear as if nothing had passed between them. Martha winked at them.

”I was once young too.”

Martha took Lana by the hand and led her into the kitchen.

”You must be hungry.”

“No. Not really.”

“Oh nonsense. You’ve been traveling for hours.”

Clark just raised his eyes. ”Here we go.”

Martha made Lana sit at the counter. Then she brought out a freshly made apple pie, a freshly made cherry pie and a freshly made peach pie. The aromas filled Lana’s nostrils.

”Oh my goodness! It smells so good!”

The aromas made Lana feel like a little girl who was receiving a treat for doing a good deed. Martha watched Lana’s eyes scan the three pies.

”You look like a cherry girl to me.”

Lana’s smile grew with the comment and thus confirmed Martha’s pick. Martha cut a large slice and placed it on a plate in front of her with a fork and a large glass of cold milk.

”Mrs. Kent, I’ll never be able to eat all that.”

Clark laughed to himself. ”Wait until she tastes it. Then after she chomps it down she’ll be wondering how she managed to eat all of it.”

In a few minutes Lana had devoured the entire slice of pie and gulped down the glass of milk. She looked at the crumbs on her plate. ”How did I do that? How did I eat everything?”

She heard some scratching at the back door in the kitchen. Clark opened the door and in came a large dog. Clark crouched down and hugged the dog and the dog licked his face. Then the dog came to Lana and placed his paws on her legs. Martha introduced Lana’s new admirer.

”That’s Shelby.”

Lana got down off the kitchen stool and hugged the dog. The dog responded by excitedly wagging its tail.

”Hi Shelby!”

Shelby took an immediate liking to Lana but then saw the cameraman in the background and started growling and barking as he would to an intruder. The cameraman was hesitant to get any closer. Martha took the animal by his collar and led him to the door and out of the house. She tried to reassure the cameraman.

”He’s very protective.”

Martha then gave Lana a tour of the house. They entered Clark’s old bedroom.

”You’ll be staying here, in Clark’s old bedroom, Lana.”

“But where will Clark sleep?”

Clark replied.

”Oh don’t worry about me. I usually sleep on the sofa downstairs whenever someone stays over.”

Lana murmured an ‘oh’ at the reply. She found that she felt disappointment that she and Clark would not be ‘sharing’ his bedroom. She scolded herself for even thinking such a thing could occur under his mother’s roof. She scolded herself even more for thinking such a thing would occur without Clark telling her the necessary three words. She hoped that sometime within the next 24 hours he would tell her what she wanted to her and she would respond in kind.

They went back down to the living room and Lana brought out a three foot long cardboard cylindrical container from her luggage. She opened the top and pulled out what appeared to be a rolled up poster.

”I wanted to give you something, Mrs. Kent, but I didn’t know what. I figured that you’re probably a better cook than me so that eliminated bringing you food. I didn’t know what the inside of your house looked like so I couldn’t get you a plant or some other decorative item. I wanted to give you something personal. So I made you this.”

Martha was about to protest being given anything but then Lana unrolled the poster. It was a penciled portrait of Clark. Both Martha and Clark were stunned by its accuracy.

”I drew this from memory.”

Martha felt her heart in her throat and tears came to her eyes as she viewed the portrait. She whispered.

”Oh Lana, it’s beautiful.”

Clark examined it and noticed something that his mother didn’t.

The portrait was of Clark without his eyeglasses.

And, excluding a spit curl over the forehead, it bore a remarkable resemblance to a certain flying superhero.

”Lana, you’ve never seen me without my eyeglasses.”

“I know. This is how I imagined you.”

Martha adored the portrait of her son. She placed her arm around Lana and hugged her tightly. Clark grew panicked because the cameraman was coming closer to get a shot of the portrait. His likeness without eyeglasses was about to be captured and shown around the world.

Seeing that everyone’s attention was on Lana and Martha and the cameraman closing in on the portrait, Clark made a quick turn with his head and blew a small but concentrated amount of freeze breath at the lens of the camera. A small but thick slab of ice formed over the lens and blocked a clear shot. The cameraman exclaimed.

”What the f**k !”

Martha took immediate offense at the remark.

”We don’t use language like that in this house, young man!”

The cameraman had shut off the device and was trying to scrape off the ice.

”I don’t understand what happened. How could….”

“I don’t care if you don’t understand. If you want to use such foul language you’ll have to leave the house and the farm.”

Chris Harrison intervened.

”I apologize, Mrs. Kent. It seems like we had a technical malfunction. It won’t happen again.”

While the camera crew was trying to fix their problem and Martha once again focused her attention on Lana, Clark scooped up the poster, rolled it up and placed it back in the container.

”I don’t want to take a chance on spilling something on this. Mom hasn’t told you this, Lana. But I can be pretty clumsy.”

Martha looked at him as if she didn’t understand what he was talking about. She was about to respond when Clark cut her off.

”I’m clumsy. Right, Mom?”

Martha rolled her eyes in exasperation.

”If you say so, dear.”

They spent the remainder of the afternoon sitting in the living room talking about everything and anything that entered the minds of the two women. Lana was amazed at how open Martha Kent was. Martha was amazed at how comfortable she was with Lana. It had been so long since she had a woman to woman talk with someone and Lana Lang proved to be the perfect companion for such a talk. Clark, for the most part, remained silent and listened to the two women, thanking his lucky stars that the two most important women in his life seemed to have taken an immediate liking to each other.

It was now late in the afternoon and Martha indicated that it was time for her to start making dinner.

”Let me help you, Mrs. Kent.”

“Oh nonsense, Lana. Clark, why don’t you show Lana your Fortress of Solitude.”

Clark lifted up his eyes at the mention of the Fortress. Lana looked at him with questioning eyes. Then Martha clarified.

”It’s a place my late husband built when Clark was a boy. It was always his favorite place to do his heavy thinking.”

Clark felt relief once he understood what Fortress Martha was referring to. Lana took him by the hand.

”Come on. Show me your Fortress of Solitaire.”

“Solitude.”

“Solitude as in alone.”

Clark nodded his head and Lana squeezed his hand.

”I like the sound of that.”

Clark tilted his head towards the cameraman who now had his camera fully operational. A frown came to Lana’s face. Clark gently squeezed her hand.

”Come on. I’ll show you.”

Lana’s heart felt light when Clark held her hand with his and she felt safe and secure. His hand was enormous and her hand was swallowed up in his palm. But his touch was gentle and his fingers seemed to possess the dexterity of that of a surgeon. He led her out of the house and into the barn. Lana, being an experienced horse rider, had been in a barn before and she didn’t see anything out of the ordinary but then she was taken aback when she saw a stairway leading to a loft that had been built separately from the rest of the barn. The loft was like a studio apartment. It was a large space with a desk, lights built into the walls and other furniture. At the far end was a large window which gave a lengthy view of the landscape below and a panoramic view of the sunset in the west. Standing by the window was a telescope.

”Oh my God! Clark, this is a fantastic place.”

“My father built this for me. He felt I needed a special place where I could get away from everything and everyone.”

She looked at the sofa and an image came into her head of a teenage Clark with a faceless teenage girl searching for paradise on the sofa.

”Hmmm.”

Clark saw the expression change on her face.

”It’s not what you think, Lana.”

Lana could see the sincerity in Clark’s eyes. She walked with to the window and the telescope. She saw a farmhouse in the distance.

”Is this where you spied on the girl next door?”

“I wish you had been the girl next door.”

Lana looked at him. ”I wish I’d had been the girl next door too. We’d have grown up together and we wouldn’t have to be going through the hoops that we’re going through now. We’d be together by now.” She looked out at the sunset. ”Wow! Look at all the colors.”

”So what do you think?”

Lana was looking at the sunset. Clark was looking at Lana.

”I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Lana realized that Clark was entirely focused on her. She moved towards him and looked into his eyes. Lana raised her hands to his neck and Clark placed his hands around her waist. They closed their eyes at the same time and moved towards each other’s lips. Lana molded her body into Clark’s. Clark’s hands moved from her waist and wrapped around her back and pulled her as close as he could without crushing her. Lana’s hands moved from his neck to the back of his head and she began running her fingers through his hair. She slightly opened her mouth and Clark could feel her breath heating up the roof of his mouth. His heartbeat increased as did Lana’s and they lost all sense of time and location. The camera crew was no longer present. The loft didn’t exist.

It was only Clark and Lana.

Lana let out a sigh and increased her hold on Clark. Her mouth opened wider and she found his tongue. Waves of warmth started cascading throughout her body and she pushed her lower body into Clark.

Clark’s arousal became acute when Lana found and started sucking on his tongue. He was now aware of everything about her. The softness of her complexion. The silkiness of her hair. The moistness of her mouth. The thought of her petite body being intertwined with his body let loose a wave of desire within him. He found his hands moving below the curve of her waist and he cupped her lower backside and pulled her into him. His eyes momentarily exploded open when Lana responded to his brazen move by grinding her pelvis into him. He re-closed his eyes and continued the heated exchange with Lana.

**********

Lois and Jimmy were with the Director at ABC Studios in Los Angeles. They were speechless at what they were seeing. The mouth of the Director dropped at the passion he was witnessing on the monitor. He spoke to his two technicians.

”They know the camera is there? Right?”

“I don’t think they care, Boss.”

Lou spoke.

”Can I go home, Boss? I really need to see my wife right now.”

Bud added.

”I don’t need to see my wife. I need to take that monitor into the men’s room with me.”

The Director swallowed hard. ”I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

A smile came to Jimmy’s face as he remembered the night he had spent with Chloe.

A frown came to Lois’ face as she remembered the nights she used to spend with Oliver.

**********

Lana wanted more of Clark. Her lower body seemed to have a mind of its own as she responded to Clark’s hands by pushing into his manhood. She felt his aroused response and she became moist with desire. She broke the kiss and moved her head to the side of his head and let out a small sigh as she was about to bite into the skin of his neck.

”Clark….”

But immediately upon saying his name a small voice in the back of her mind spoke. ”He hasn’t told you the three magic words. Not yet.” She breathed deeply to bring her heartbeat back to normal. Her hands moved to his chest and she gently pushed away.

Clark felt her move away. ”You got a little carried away there, Clark.” He took a deep breath to regain his composure and opened his eyes.

He couldn’t see.

Steam had built up on his eyeglasses. It took some time before the glass cleared and he could see Lana standing next to him. She pushed back her hair with her hands and was trying to regain control of her breath. Then she smoothed out her clothing. The couple became aware that they weren’t alone and looked at Chloe and the production crew.

All eyes were on the couple.

Chloe was smiling. The cameraman looked numb.

Clark regained his composure, bent over and whispered in Lana’s ear in French.

”I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get carried away.”

Lana placed her hand on his chest and responded in the same language.

”Clark, you didn’t do anything to me that I didn’t want. But before this happens again you and I need to talk.”

Clark nodded in understanding at what he heard but the words ‘before this happens again’ stood out for him.

”Will this happen again?”

“Clark, that’s entirely up to you.”

They heard footsteps entering the barn. At first, the couple thought it was just Martha but they heard two sets of footsteps climb up the steps. It was his mother and another man. He was African American. He was much shorter than Clark and had the build of an athlete. In seeing him, Clark shouted out.

”Pete!”

Clark left Lana and gave Pete a bear hug. Pete responded in kind and tried to lift Clark off his feet. Normally, Pete couldn’t do this but Clark slightly elevated himself off the floor to make Pete think he could.

”Pete, I thought you were in Wichita. What are you doing here?”

“I came for the class reunion.”

“Class reunion?”

“Yep. Class of 1999.”

“I don’t remember receiving an invitation.”

“It was thrown together kind of quickly. Instead of sending invitations we telephoned everyone and sent emails. We made the assumption that since you were tied up with The Bachelorette you probably would not be able to come. But then when we saw the television production vans and the limo drive through town we knew you were here.”

Clark brought Pete over to meet Lana.

”Lana, this is my best friend from high school, Pete Ross.”

They shook hands. Clark looked at his mother and realized she had cooked dinner for them.

”Oh Pete. My mom has already cooked dinner.”

Martha spoke up.

”Why don’t you eat dinner with me and then go to the reunion.”

Pete responded.

”That’s a good idea. After all we’re having the reunion to see each other. Not to eat some warmed up roast beef and a baked potato.”

Clark looked at Lana.

”Is this alright with you?”

Lana squeezed into him.

“Clark, I’ll go anywhere as long as I’m with you.”

Pete spoke.

”Then it’s settled. We’ll see you later at the high school.”

The two men shook hands and the four of them moved down the steps and back to the house.

Martha couldn’t help noticing that Lana walked out in her bare feet.

”Lana, where are your shoes?”

“Oh my goodness!”

Lana exclaimed. She was unaware that her shoes weren’t on her feet and she ran back to the barn.

End of Chapter Twenty One

**********

[ClanaGirl]

wow oldmankent fantastic job loved the story there. can't wait for highschool reunion

[LetMeGo]

What an inopportune time for Superman and Batman to seek out Chloe, but them teaming up was great.

Things are going so well for Clark and Lana! I hope whatever Jason has planned blows up in his face.

Can’t wait for the reunion!

[ClanaGirl]

What an inopportune time for Superman and Batman to seek out Chloe, but them teaming up was great.

Things are going so well for Clark and Lana! I hope whatever Jason has planned blows up in his face.

Can’t wait for the reunion!
I agree a hundered percent Letmego your great oldmankent you never cease to surprise me continue i lvoe hte surprises

[oldmankent]

This chapter has a cameo appearance of the character, Dave. Dave is a character from some of my other fics that I post on another site. He is Clark’s and Lana’s guardian angel.

Chapter Twenty Two

”I Saw the Light”

The dinner increased the amount of affection between Lana and Martha and brought the two women closer together. Martha thought that Lana was the loveliest girl she had ever met. Lana was the daughter that Martha had always dreamed about. Lana felt that Martha was the most sincere and genuine person she had ever encountered. She could now see why Clark was the way he was and why she was attracted to him in more than just the physical. He was brought up in an open and loving environment. The family values of Martha and Jonathan Kent had been passed on to their son. Lana couldn’t help but contrast what she had found in the Kent household with what she had found in the Teague household. Whereas the Teagues were interested in maintaining appearances, the Kents were interested in maintaining integrity. Whereas the Teagues were interested in the accumulation of wealth, the Kents were interested in the accumulation of friends. Whereas the Teagues were interested in status, the Kents were interested in service. Lana was now convinced that this was the environment where she would want her children to be raised. Martha Kent would make a wonderful grandmother.

After dinner Lana went to Clark’s bedroom to change her clothes for the reunion. Clark went to his loft to do the same. Lana changed into a sleeveless red cocktail dress with a narrow black belt around her waist. The dress rose just to the top of her knees. The dress was modest and just exposed her skin to just below her neckline. She wore a string of small pearls around her neck with matching earrings and a pair of black high-healed shoes. Unlike the dinner at Le Giraffe, this time Lana let her hair flow past her shoulders and down to the middle of her back.

Clark wore a navy blue sport coat, gray slacks, a crisp white shirt and a dark red tie.

Clark was waiting for Lana in the living room. When he heard her leave the bedroom he went to the bottom of the stairs to watch her as she walked down to meet him. Their eyes lit up as they came into each other’s line of sight. ”Wow!” She stood on the second step from the bottom so that she and Clark were just about equal in height. Lana touched the knot of his tie and slightly straightened it out.

”Perfect.”

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

Martha had a camera ready and had an old record album playing.

Author’s Note” Music Martha is playing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hji-LGoxdA&feature=related

Lana stood next to Clark and placed her arm through his. Lana smiled for the camera and said,

”I feel like I’m going to the prom again.”

Martha spoke as she snapped pictures.

”Clark never went to his prom.”

Lana was surprised at this. She looked up at Clark.

”You never went to your prom?”

Martha answered before Clark could.

”He was captain of the football team. He could have gone with anyone. Instead he chose to spend the night in his loft….alone.”

Lana spoke to Clark.

”Why?”

“I had a lot of things on my mind. I wouldn’t have been very good company.”

Lana squeezed his arm.

”So I guess I’m your date for the prom.”

He reached for the hand that was placed through his arm and held it.

”Believe me, Lana. You’re more than just a date for the prom.”

Martha kissed Clark on the cheek and did the same to Lana. The couple left the house where the limousine was waiting for them. The driver opened the door. Clark stopped.

”Lana, let’s not take the limo.”

“What do we ride in?”

“Let’s take the truck. That’s what we would be riding in if this were really the prom.”

Lana was totally taken with the idea.

”Okay. Let’s take the truck.”

Harrison and Chloe tried to stop the couple but Clark and Lana ignored them and rushed to the truck, quickly started it and sped out onto the highway. Harrison and Chloe, both cursing, jumped into the van that housed the production crew and followed the couple.

Lana looked behind her through the rear window of the truck and saw the van trying to follow them. It gladdened her to have a few minutes alone with Clark. She ignored her seatbelt and moved next to him. They both took deep breaths and felt totally relaxed. Clark spoke.

”Lana, I have a problem and I need your help.”

“What’s wrong, Clark?”

“Well, how do I introduce you? Are you my friend? My girlfriend? My concubine? My associate? My dream come true? My significant other? Or are you just Lana Lang?”

When Lana first heard Clark say that he had a problem she thought that something was seriously wrong. Then she heard his list and a smile came to her face.

Except for one item.

”You can pick any one you want, Clark…..Except concubine….Not unless you let me call you my boy toy.”

On hearing her response he thought it was wonderful to have a ”girlfriend” with such a great sense of humor.

Lana thought there was one title missing from Clark’s list. ”What about fiancé?”

They pulled the truck into the high school parking lot. In the lot there were three types of vehicles: Similar trucks for the people who remained in Smallville, family sedans for the people who moved out of Smallville but remained in the state, and rental cars for the people who moved out of state and had flown back for the reunion. They parked the truck and walked towards the building. As they walked they heard music blaring from inside the school.

Author’s Note” Music heard as they walked towards the building.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnvZ-pmAeLw

Clark took Lana by the hand. They noticed that the production team van still hadn’t caught up with them. They had a few minutes to themselves. Lana tugged at him.

”Clark, we’re alone…for the moment.”

Clark stopped and turned to face her.

”Are you asking me to kiss you?”

Lana moved closer so that she was up against Clark’s chest.

”I’m not asking.”

Lana brought her hands up to Clark’s head. Although his hair was carefully groomed she just couldn’t resist running her fingers through his thick mane. Just before their lips met she said,

”Don’t get carried away like you did the last time.”

“I thought it was you that got carried away with me.”

Her mouth formed a semi-smile as she pecked on his upper lip. Internally, Lana conceded Clark’s point. The more she was with him; the more she wanted to kiss him. The more she kissed him, the more she wanted to be with him. And then the cycle began again. Pretty soon just kissing wouldn’t be enough. She nodded her forehead into his.

They heard the van entering the parking lot and broke the kiss. Lana opened her clutch and brought out a tissue and carefully wiped off the residue of her lip gloss from Clark’s lips. She took him by the arm and they walked into the school.

**********

The couple entered the high school gym and surveyed the area before anyone noticed them. The gym had been set up with large round tables and folding chairs that sat eight people per table. The tables outlined three sides of a large dance floor that had been laid over the gymnasium floor. At the head of the dance floor was an area that had been set up for the DJ. There was a long table with turntables, equalizers, and other controls to a sound and lighting system. On each side of the DJ’s table facing the dance floor were two large speakers from which music was blaring. On the other end of the gym behind the tables and the dance floor was a long buffet table that contained assorted entrees of chicken, beef, and a vegetarian pasta dish that just about everyone stayed away from. Adjacent to the buffet table was a portable bar that had large plastic tubs set up with iced bottles of beer and wine. Dozens of bottles of assorted liquors were on shelves behind the bar. There were two red vested bartenders serving a large crowd. At the entrance to the gym was another long table which was a welcoming area. Laid out on the table were rows of name tags of the Smallville Senior Class of 1999. On each name tag was a small photograph of the person’s senior class picture copied from the high school yearbook. At the table were two women who were greeting those who entered the reunion and helping them find their name tag.

Clark and Lana approached the table and the two women looked up at them. Their jaws dropped as they looked at Clark and their eyes opened wide at viewing the beauty of the woman on his arm. They shouted out,

”Oh my God! It’s you! It’s so good to see you!”

They came from behind the table, ran to Clark, threw their arms around him and started kissing him. Clark maneuvered his head so that they would not kiss him on his mouth while he wondered, ”Who are these people?” Lana quietly watched. She had resigned herself to witnessing such exhibitions before she entered the gymnasium. ”You may kiss him now but he’s coming home with me.”

Author’s Note” Musical Interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a24Odc1qrB0

The women then turned their attention to Lana and started complementing her and telling that she was even more beautiful in person than on television. They placed a name tag on Clark’s lapel and another on Lana that labeled her as a guest. The couple then made their way from the welcome table into the crowd. Lana tugged at Clark.

”So who are those women?”

“I have no idea.”

“Really? You don’t recognize either of them? They sure seemed to know you.”

Clark just shook his head.

Chloe and the cameraman now entered the building. Upon seeing them all of the activity and the music stopped. All eyes focused on Clark and Lana and for the first time the couple realized that the situation that they thought was only their problem was now everyone’s problem.

Clark and Lana looked at the crowd. They couldn’t tell if they were seeing resentment, anger or something else in the eyes of the crowd. Clark wasn’t sure if he should take Lana, turn around and leave but then something happened that lightened the entire mood.

The DJ started playing a particular tune and the crowd erupted in laughter.

Author’s Note” Tune the DJ played.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnejNGprm3I

Smiles came to the faces of the crowd and those who were on the dance floor started dancing again. Those who had been eating and drinking started eating and drinking again and those who had been talking started talking again. Chloe, Harrison and the cameraman were ignored.

Pete Ross emerged from the crowd and approached the couple.

”Yo! Clark! Lana! I’ve got a table. Come on and follow me.”

As they walked to the table Clark looked back at the one of the women who had greeted him.

”Hey Pete! Who is that woman with the blue dress?”

Pete looked back at the woman and a smile came to his face.

”You don’t remember her?”

“No. Who is she?”

“That’s Alicia Baker.”

Clark looked stunned.

”Noooooo! It can’t be!”

Clark continued to stare.

”She’s so….so….so…”

Pete completed Clark’s sentence.

”Fat?”

“Well, I wouldn’t use that exact word. What happened?”

“Four kids in six years and a diet heavy on the macaroni and cheese are what happened.”

Lana tugged on Clark’s arm.

”Who’s Alicia Baker to you?”

Clark stammered but Pete was quick to fill in the blanks.

”Alicia was totally smitten with Clark. One night she tried to seduce him in his loft.”

Lana looked curiously at Clark and then at Pete.

”What do you mean by ‘tried’?”

Pete answered.

”Let me put it this way. Clark is way too honorable to take advantage of a girl that he doesn’t have feelings for. He scurried away from her to watch a Pay per View fight with me.”

Lana looked at Clark with pride and affectionately squeezed his arm. ”You can take advantage of me, Clark. All you have to so is say the three magic words.”

Clark quickly changed the subject by looking at the bar and the all of the liquor, beer and wine on display.

”Pete, how did you manage to get the school to allow you to have a bar in the gymnasium?”

“It was easy. The principal graduated with us along with the Chief of Police.”

As they walked through the crowd people were stopping Clark, hugging him and shaking his hand. At first people didn’t know how to approach Lana. For many she was just someone they saw on television. But they quickly warmed up to her when she extended her hand and said,

”Hi! I’m Lana Lang. I’m Clark’s girlfriend.”

Then she was given a hug and the couple moved on. Clark felt an immense sense of pride in the way Lana introduced herself. Clark activated his hearing and heard whispered comments as they passed.

”Lucky bastard.”

“What does Kent have that I don’t have?”

“For starters, good looks, brains and charm. Shall I continue?”

“I’m your wife. How come you never look at me the way he looks at her?”

“Quit nagging me. Maybe if you looked like her I would start looking at you the way he looks at her.”

They were now seated at a table with Pete and his girlfriend and two other couples. The other couples were people who had married out of high school and now had families of their own. They were carrying on their own conversation. At first, the atmosphere was a little tense as those who were not part of the high school class (Pete’s girlfriend and Lana) were not included in the general conversation. And then Lana took the initiative and asked the two women from Clark’s class,

”Do you have pictures of your children?”

With that single question Lana now became part of the group as the other women gushed about their children. The conversation now became lively as Pete’s girlfriend became more comfortable and started to contribute. After a few minutes everyone was talking as if they had known each other forever and Lana turned back to Clark.

”So you were captain of the football team?”

Pete overheard the question and answered before Clark could.

”He was not only captain of the football team. He was the quarterback on the all-state team. He broke every Kansas high school passing record in the book in our senior year. He was the man with the golden arm. He had a free ride to Met U on an athletic scholarship and he turned them down. He turned them down! He had all the tools. He could have been a pro by now. He would have raked in millions. Instead of Peyton Manning holding a VISA Card it on all those commercials it could have been Clark Kent.”

Lana looked at Clark. He seemed uncomfortable with the information that Pete just divulged.

”What happened? Why didn’t you go to Met U?”

Clark shook it off.

”I felt there should be more to my life than just scoring touchdowns.”

It seemed that the more Lana found out about Clark the more she respected him. ”He doesn’t take advantage of love struck girls and he wants his life to be meaningful.” With each passing moment Lana Lang was falling even deeper in love with Clark Kent.

She looked around the table and discovered that the other couples had gone to the dance floor. She started tapping her foot to the beat of the music.

Author’s Note: Music playing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dft5CgEvTPE&feature=related

She squeezed Clark’s arm.

”So are you going to ask me to dance or are we going to sit here all night?”

“I’m not a very good dancer, Lana.”

Lana looked Clark over and licked her lips.

“I think you have all the tools.”

Before Clark could answer Lana rose from her seat and pulled him to the dance floor.

**********

Chloe Sullivan and Chris Harrison were unprepared for Clark’s decision to attend his high school reunion. There wouldn’t be time to go through the proper channels to get the town’s permission to set up the cameras in the high school gymnasium and even if they did get permission they didn’t have time to do the actual physical work. So their only choice was to follow Clark and Lana with a shoulder held camera.

They waited at the limousine as the couple left Martha Kent’s house. Harrison opened the rear door but the couple scurried past the limousine and jumped into the truck.

The truck sped out from the farm and onto the highway leaving Harrison and Chloe guessing as to what had just happened.

”What the hell!”

Chloe and Harrison jumped into the limousine and tried to follow the truck but Clark and Lana accelerated quickly and they were soon out of view. Although Chloe and Harrison knew where the final destination was they were unfamiliar with the roads around Smallville and reliant on their GPS to get them to the reunion. Harrison who was visibly annoyed, commented,

”Jeez! You think they didn’t want us around.”

“I can’t blame Lana. This is the second time she’s done this. She must be tired of always being under the eye of the camera.”

“What about Kent?”

“He just seems to be a very private person. I think he’s refreshing.”

“Refreshing?”

“Look at it this way, Chris. Our society has become totally exhibitionist. Everyone is wide open. We display ourselves to the world on Facebook and MySpace. We have reality TV and welcome the camera into our homes. We bring our problems to Judge Judy and Doctor Phil. We lecture about a right to privacy yet in practice we’re anything but private.

We’ve gotten to the point that we think that if someone doesn’t let the world into his life it’s because they must have something to hide. Clark Kent strikes me as just a person who wants to be left alone and he has a perfect right to that. He didn’t ask to be on The Bachelorette. He just sort of stumbled into it. And he’s doing whatever he can to minimize the intrusion into his life and be alone with the woman he loves. He’s not the bad guy here.

We are.”

The limousine followed the directions from the GPS and made it to the Smallville High School. They pulled up just as Clark and Lana were entering the school. Harrison, Chloe and the cameraman got out of the car as quickly as they could and followed the couple into the school and to the gymnasium. They entered the gymnasium just as Clark and Lana were mixing into the crowd and as they turned the camera on everything came to a stop.

Chloe became very aware that she, Harrison and the cameraman were being seen as intruders. She looked at Clark and Lana and they appeared to be ready to leave just as soon as they had arrived. Then as quickly as the silence had overtaken the room, the atmosphere changed. The DJ played a tune that relieved the tension and everything changed back to a normal, fun filled event. Chloe moved into the crowd with Harrison and the cameraman, trying to stay within viewing distance of Clark and Lana. Instead of being met with hostility Chloe was now being welcomed as part of the crowd. Several people shook her hand. Other people kissed her on the cheek. A few of the old football players gave her a bear hug as if she were a beloved cheerleader from their glory days. She turned and looked behind and found that she was alone. Harrison and the cameraman had disappeared. She was going to try to find them when she was pulled to the dance floor. She was spun around by several people and then someone placed a margarita in her hand.

”Complements of the DJ.”

Chloe tasted the drink and found it was to her liking. She scanned the floor and found that Harrison was also caught up in the crowd. He was on the dance floor. His tie had been loosened and he was wearing it on his head like a headband. The cameraman was nowhere to be found and Chloe assumed he had joined in on the fun just like everyone else. At first she thought that she had to regain the initiative, regroup with her little trio, find Clark and Lana and do what she was being paid to do. Then she came to conclusion that whatever would be filmed would probably be edited out of the televised version anyway. ”f**k it!”[/i] Everyone was singing with the music and Chloe decided to join in on the fun. ”When in Rome do what the Romans do.” She gulped down her margarita and started moving to the music.

Author’s Note: Music playing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tASwgOWALs

**********

The Director back at ABC Studios watched the monitors as Chloe, Harrison and the cameraman entered the high school. There was a tense moment when the crowd became silent and made a hostile stare into the camera. Then the tension dissipated and everyone became friendly.

”Hey Boss. It looks likes Smallville loves us”

“That’s because they’re just a bunch of dumb hicks and having television come into their homes is the highlight of their lives.”

Through the monitor they watched Chloe and Harrison disappear into the crowd. Soon they were getting a frontal view of people approaching the cameraman, giving him a drink and pulling him onto the dance floor. The view from the shoulder held camera moved to focus on the ceiling than to the floor and people’s shoes. Then the camera went out completely. Through his headphones the Director heard music playing and people singing and then the sound went out. The Director tried to reestablish contact but was unsuccessful.

As he pulled off his headset one of the technicians spoke.

”I guess those dumb hicks don’t think too much of television.”

**********

Clark had never been much for dancing, especially to music that had a quick beat. It is ironic that someone who could move faster than a speeding bullet hated to move his feet faster than a slow crawl on the dance floor. But he found that the atmosphere in the gymnasium was so upbeat and that Lana was so enthusiastic and enticing in her fluid movements that he couldn’t help but just go with the flow. Besides, unlike most of the other couples, Lana was scrunched right up to Clark. No matter what kind of music was playing she was never more than a few inches away from him and whether she was laying her head on his chest, making him wrap his hands around her waist while she did a grind or just holding his hand, they were always touching. Clark felt that he was close to heaven.

Lana thought it ironic that in order to be alone; she and Clark needed to be swallowed up by a crowd. They were surrounded by other couples. Yet at the same time they were uniquely separate in their own little world. In the few times that Lana moved her eyes away from Clark she saw that Chloe, Chris Harrison and the cameraman had abandoned their duties and joined in the festivities. ”I guess when in Rome do as the Romans do.” Even though the circumstances were unusual she was grateful for the break away from the camera.

Occasionally she glanced at the name tags of Clark’s classmates and studied the high school photographs on them. She noticed that some men who had full heads of hair at the age of eighteen were now completely bald and some women who were pencil thin ten years earlier had become quite beefy. But then something usual struck her. Everyone who wore eyeglasses as a teenager in their photograph was now eyeglass free as an adult. Lana attributed this to either the use of contact lenses or surgery or vanity. But it was the exact opposite with Clark. In his senior picture Clark was without eyeglasses. Lana even examined his picture carefully enough to the extent that she noticed the smoothness of the skin on the bridge of his nose. There was not even an indentation that he wore eyeglasses and then took them off for the photograph. Yet here he was, as an adult, wearing eyeglasses as if he had always worn them and never took them off. She decided she would ask him about his eyeglasses and that the best time would probably be when they were in bed together after they had made love.

Like a bolt of electricity going through her, Lana’s spine straightened up with the shock of such a thought.

Whether it was the music, the closeness on the crowded dance floor, the imbibing of adult beverages or a combination of all three, Lana found herself to be in an uncharacteristically sexually assertive mood and she was thinking more and more of stripping Clark’s clothes off, kissing every square inch of his body and making love to him until his eyes popped out of is head. She found that she could hardly wait to hear him say the three magical words and then take him by the hand and lead him to her bed, his bed, the inside of his truck, a park bench or any place where they could be alone, comfortable and cozy. She imagined making love to him until he couldn’t stand it anymore but at the same time she would leave him begging for more. She found herself trembling as these thoughts filled her head.

The music changed and she took Clark by the hand and led him back to the table. He sat down and she sat next to him as close as the chairs would allow. She placed her hand over his leg on the inside of his thigh and cuddled next to him. It was then she noticed that he was perfectly calm. She looked at the people around her. Everyone was showing the effects of exerting themselves on the dance floor. Men had taken off their jackets, loosened their ties or taken them off completely and rolled up their shirt sleeves. Women were checking their makeup to make sure that nothing had gone awry due to perspiration. People were gulping down drinks to replace the fluid lost in their bodies. Some of the more out of shape people were huffing and puffing and trying to regain their breath. Even Lana, who was in excellent physical condition, felt heated from the dancing and lifted the hair from the back of her neck and fanned it with her hand to cool off.

Everyone was doing something like this except Clark.

Clark showed no signs of exertion. His shirt collar was perfectly dry, his tie was still in a perfect knot and there wasn’t even a single bead of sweat on his forehead. Lana reached over and placed her hand on his chest. If his heart had been beating quickly it had returned to normal almost immediately. ”Clark must have the conditioning of an Olympic athlete.” A sly smile rose on her face. ”I bet he lasts forever in bed.”

”Lana, what are you doing?”

Lana looked up at Clark with a questioning expression. ”What? What’s wrong?” Then she noticed where his eyes were focused. He was looking at his chest and Lana’s hand. Lana had not only placed her hand over his heart but she had unconsciously unbuttoned his shirt and placed her hand inside his shirt on top of his naked chest. Then Lana noticed that her other hand, the hand that had been resting on his thigh, had moved up the inside of thigh and was almost situated on a very delicate area of Clark’s anatomy.

Lana pulled back and put her hand to her mouth like a little girl who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. ”Oh my! Lana, what’s come over you?” A little voice in the back of her mind answered. ”What’s come over you? I’ll tell you what’s come over you. You are totally in love with Clark and if he doesn’t do something about it soon you are going to scream!”

*********

Clark let Lana lead him back to the table. They sat down and she moved as close to him as possible without leaving her chair and sitting on his lap. He immediately noticed when she placed her hand on his knee and then moved it to the inside of his thigh. She laid her head against his chest. He could feel her heavy breathing returning to normal after being on the dance floor. He placed his arm around her back. Right at this moment he wanted to lift up her head and kiss her full on the lips. A voice in the back of his mind spoke to him. ”Boy, you want to do more than just kiss her. Don’t you?” He almost answered yes out loud but then he noticed that Lana’s hand had moved over his heart. He was about to place his hand over hers when Lana’s fingers started unbuttoning his shirt. Quickly a half dozen buttons were released and her hand moved inside his shirt and was running over the muscles of his chest. His mouth went dry as he felt the nerve endings under his skin go ‘Ping! Ping! Ping!’ The sensations increased when he felt Lana’s other hand slowly move up the inside of his thigh towards the Promised Land. ”God give me strength!” His first inclination was to take Lana’s hand and move it….move it….not away from its final destination. He felt an impulse to place his own hands on Lana’s body and create the same sensations for her. But his conscience called out to him and a sound came out of his voice box.

”Lana, what are you doing?”

They both looked at each other with a startled expression. Both thought, ”Oh crap! This is uncharted territory for me.” Both breathlessly looked at each other waiting for the other to say something. Clark had decided to speak when the voice of the DJ filled the gymnasium.

”Okay folks. I have a request here. This song is dedicated from Clark Kent to Lana Lang.”

Author’s Note: Music playing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFRI9xDOtro&feature=related

A spotlight was shown on the couple. Clark hastily buttoned up his open shirt as Lana pulled him to the dance floor. The crowd gave its applause and everyone started dancing to the music. Clark looked in the direction of the DJ. He had never made a request for a dedication and he wondered who did. Lana pulled his head to hers and whispered in his ear.

”Thank you for the dedication. It means a lot.”

When the song ended they went back to the table. Clark left Lana with Pete and his girlfriend for a moment and explained that he needed to talk to the DJ for just a moment.

As Clark walked to the DJ’s table he took notice of the person who was playing the music. The DJ wasn’t tall but he wasn’t short. He wasn’t fat but he wasn’t thin. His hair wasn’t as thick as Clark’s but it did cover his head. He wasn’t young but he wasn’t old. The DJ’s most distinguishing characteristic was a pair of brown, deep set eyes. The type of eyes that would make him recognizable no matter what his age. The type of eyes that would never allow him to commit a crime because he would immediately be picked out of a police lineup. Clark came up to the table and extended his hand.

”Hi. I’m Clark Kent.”

The DJ shook Clark’s hand.

”I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah. My wife is addicted to The Bachelorette. I watch 24 but she watches The Bachelorette and then she tells me all the gory details.”

Clark nodded his head. He sometimes wished that he had time to watch television.

“You’re playing some pretty good music there. Everyone seems to be really into it. I’m really surprised.”

“Surprised? Hey! I’m not an old man, Kent. I know what young people like.”

“No. No. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just saying that…..

Clark stopped and stared at the DJ. Something inside of Clark told him that he had come across this person before. But he didn’t know where.

”Do I know you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you do. I’ve got one of those faces.”

“What’s your name?”

“Dave.”

“Dave what?”

“Just Dave. Sometimes people call me Mister Dave.”

Clark was silent for a moment. ”Dave? Dave? I don’t know anyone named Dave.” He smiled at Dave and then got to the point.

”Thanks for the dedication. I was wondering who made the request.”

“You made the request.”

Clark didn’t understand.

”I made the request?”

“Well, let me put it this way. You wanted to make the request.”

Clark was more confused than ever. The DJ recognized his confusion and changed the subject.

”So Clark. Don’t you think you better tell her?”

“Tell her what?”

“Tell Lana your secret.”

Clark was taken aback. His mouth went dry and he tensed up.

”My secret?”

“You love her. Don’t you?”

“Love her?”

“Oh Jes…”

Dave stopped as if he were in a panic. He put his hand to his mouth as if to reassure himself that something hadn’t come out. He looked upwards and murmured a ‘whew’. Then he continued.

”For crying out loud! Youth is wasted on the young. You love her and you’ve been keeping it to yourself. When are you going to do the right thing and tell her? Carpe diem!”

The DJ continued.

”Better is an open rebuke than a love that remains hidden.”

“Who said that?”

“A very wise man a long time ago.”

Clark didn’t know what to say. He decided just to thank the DJ and return to Lana. He shook the DJ’s hand again, thanked him and turned to go back. The DJ spoke.

”Hey Clark. You better tell her….Tonight!”

Clark returned to the table shaking his head. Lana had a drink waiting for him.

”What were you talking about the DJ about?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“It was a really strange conversation, Lana. It’s like I know him but don’t know him at the same time.”

Lana looked past Clark and directly at the DJ.

”Hmmm.”

“Do you know him?”

“I don’t know. He’s got one of those faces.”

Clark just shook his head at hearing Lana say the same words that the DJ said. Clark continued.

”It’s really strange, Lana. Do you ever get the feeling that someone else is controlling your life? Almost as if you’re only a character in a story in someone else’s mind?”

Lana let out a chuckle, took a swallow of her drink and was once again on her feet and pulling Clark towards the dance floor.

”You think too much, Clark. You need to dance.”

Once again the music changed as they made their way to the dance floor.

Author’s Note: Music playing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ct2L-PYYUWc

Before they could start they were stopped by Pete.

”Clark, Lana we’ve got a problem.”

The couple left the dance floor and followed Pete until they were outside of the gym and in the hallway by their old lockers.

There on the floor were Chloe, Chris Harrison and the cameraman.

Sleeping.

Pete spoke.

”It looks like the country hicks pooped out the Hollywood city slickers.”

Pete continued to examine the sleeping trio.

”You know, if you look at them from a certain angle they almost look like The Three Stooges.”

**********

Chloe, Harrison and the cameraman were the victims of a long, tiring day combined with ingesting a potent amount of alcohol over a short period of time and not enough starchy food to absorb it. Clark and Lana’s night ended with them taking care of the passed out trio. Pete thought that the trio should be left on the floor to sleep it off but both Clark and Lana felt a responsibility towards the video crew. If it were Clark and Lana they would never want to be left sleeping on a cold, hard floor.

Clark and Pete loaded Chloe, Harrison and the cameraman into the ABC van. Clark drove the van and Lana drove the truck back to the Kent farm. Both couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment at their night ending so early. Everything was just going wonderfully and then it all ended so suddenly.

At the farm, Clark carried each person into the barn. Lana was amazed that he carried the people so effortlessly. She thought he would be tired by the time he got to the third person. Instead Clark lifted the cameraman and tossed him over his shoulder as if the cameraman was a sack of potatoes.

Martha Kent woke up with the sound of the two vehicles entering her driveway and the sound of car doors being opened and closed. She walked down the steps from her bedroom and saw that Clark and Lana were taking care of the crew. She stood next to Lana as Clark carried the people to the barn. She spoke softly.

”Clark never catches a break.”

“What do you mean, Mrs. Kent?”

Martha smiled at Lana and leaned towards her.

”Lana, there are certain people in this world who are destined to watch over us. They make it their responsibility to keep us safe. Whether it’s the big things like the things Superman does or the little things like making sure that your friends are home in bed, safe and warm. These people have a sense of duty. When no one else is ready to take responsibility they step forward. Clark is one of those people. He always was. He always will be.”

Lana nodded her head. She knew exactly what Martha was talking about. And then Martha said something that Lana didn’t expect.

”I think you’re the same type of person, Lana. On the television the world sees you as just the bachelorette. But deep down you’re a very serious woman.”

A wide smile grew over Lana’s face.

”Thanks, Mrs. Kent. That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”

Martha nodded her head.

”Lana, I don’t know how everything is going to turn out. If I could predict the future I would have won the lottery a long time ago. But no matter what happens between you and Clark I’d like you and me to remain in touch. You’re a very special person, Lana.”

Lana’s heart filled with joy. Other than her own home, Lana had never felt more welcome anywhere. Martha extended her arms and the two women embraced.

”I’d like that to, Mrs. Kent.”

They heard Clark’s voice in the background.

”What is this? Some kind of mutual admiration society?”

The two women disengaged. Martha brought Clark some blankets and pillows for the others. As Lana entered the house she noticed that a blanket and a pillow had been placed on the sofa for Clark. Martha entered the house behind her. Lana thought, ”Damn. I guess there won’t be any nookie tonight.” Martha walked to the bottom of the steps. She stopped and waited.

Lana soon realized that Martha was waiting for Lana to follow her upstairs to the bedrooms.

Clark and Lana looked at one another. Martha looked at the two of them and examined them closely. A little quiet voice in the back of her mind told her that she should leave Clark and Lana alone. Another little but louder voice told Martha that if she left Clark and Lana alone they might start something that they wouldn’t be able to stop. Martha remained in place.

Clark and Lana let out a sigh and each whispered goodnight. Lana followed Martha up the steps. Clark turned out the light.

**********

Lana couldn’t sleep.

Upon entering Clark’s bedroom Lana quickly disrobed, left her clothes on the floor and gotten into a pair of white silk pajamas. She left a small crack open in the window to let in some air and then she got under the covers in the bed. The mattress and quilt was warm and comfortable. She closed her eyes but sleep would not come.

She wasn’t even tired. Her eyes were wide open.

”Martha is a very wise person.” Lana thought. Lana wanted Clark next to her. She wanted to feel his warm flesh against her flesh. She wanted to hear him whisper, ‘I love you’, in her ear. She threw the covers off and sat up on the mattress.

”I can’t stand it anymore. I have to tell him that I love him. Even if he doesn’t love me he has to know that I love him.”

She got up from the bed and tip toed on the floor. She slowly opened the door and went through. She considered leaving the door open but decided that a breeze through the window might cause the door to slam shut and that would wake up everyone. She carefully pulled the door behind her and heard the latch quietly slip into place as it closed. She wondered how well Martha Kent could hear. She concluded that Martha was probably like her own mother. ”She probably hears everything and has eyes in the back of her head.” Once out of the room she walked to the stairs and started walking down one step at a time. Her right foot than her left foot and then the next step. A small creak sounded as she placed her foot down. She stopped and waited.

Nothing happened.

She moved closer to the wall to lessen the chance of another creak being heard and continued downward. She got to the bottom of the steps and took a deep breath. Now she had to get to the sofa in the living room in the dark. She didn’t really remember the layout of the furniture and she prayed she wouldn’t bump into anything.

She moved from the stairs to the entrance of the living room. She moved an inch at a time until she was where she remembered the sofa to be. When she reached the sofa she gasped. Lana was momentarily startled when she found that Clark’s head was not on his pillow. Instead she saw his silhouette sitting up on the sofa. He was awake. Clark was just as startled to see her this late at night.

”Lana. Is something wrong?”

Lana placed her fingers by her mouth to say ‘shhh’. She knelt down on the floor directly in front of him a placed her hands on his knees. She whispered.

”Clark, why aren’t you sleeping?”

Clark placed his hands on her arms. He felt the smooth silk she was wearing and the delicate limbs underneath the silk. He was tempted to activate his X-ray vision but decided against it. He needed to experience this moment without his enhanced abilities. This was about to be the most important moment of his life and he needed to experience it as a normal human being would experience it.

They spoke in whispers.

”Lana, I can’t sleep. Lana you need to know something.”

Then he realized that it was Lana who had left her bed and had come to him.

”Wait a minute. Lana, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you sleeping?”

It was totally quiet. Not a sound was to be heard but Lana could hear her heart pounding in her chest.

”I need to tell you something but you go first.”

“Well, I was taught that it should always be ladies first.”

Lana shook her head. ”God! Men can be so clueless.” She rubbed his legs with her hands. She could feel that he was wearing sweatpants. She lifted her head so that she was looking directly at his face. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness and she could vaguely see the features of his face. He was without his eyeglasses. ”Oh God! Clark, you are so handsome.” Her eyes pleaded with him.

”Please, Clark. What do you want to say to me?”

Clark was melting under the spell of Lana’s eyes. He swallowed hard.

”Lana, I think about you all the time. I’m miserable when I’m not you. All you have to do to make me feel lonely is leave the room. I’ve never met anyone like you.

Lana…I love you.”

Lana felt like her heart was about to burst. This was what it was all about. The three magic words. The one single moment that everyone hopes and prays for. That moment when you and the love of your life realize that you are meant to be together and you surrender to your feelings. That moment when surrendering is actually victory. The moment that poets write about and songs try to capture. The moment that mere words can never describe. The moment when you feel that God is in his Heaven and all is right with the world.

Lana lifted herself up with her arms pushing on Clark’s legs so that her face was just inches from his.

”Oh, Clark. I love you so much. I’m so….so…happy.”

Clark felt like he had been relieved of a terrible burden. He felt lighter. He now could clearly see Lana’s face in the darkness and he thought he had never seen anything more beautiful. It was as if she were glowing.

”Really? You love me?”

Lana enthusiastically nodded her head.

”Uh huh. I love you and I’m in love with you.”

Clark’s slapped his hand to his head.

”Wow! I love you and you love me. This is so….cool.”

Lana chuckled at Clark’s gesture and his choice of words. She moved closer a placed a small kiss on his lips.

”I love you….”

She followed with another small kiss as Clark’s arms encircled her.

”….and you love me.”

Clark pulled her closer. He whispered.

”And we’re together.”

“Yes.”

“And we’re going to be together.”

“Forever.”

Lana offered no resistance as Clark pulled her to him. She could feel the power pulsating through his arms and he wrapped them around her, just allowing her enough room to breathe. She melted as he brought his mouth to hers. He gently caressed her mouth. He reveled in the moistness of her lips and the softness of her cheek against his. He nibbled on her lower lip as Lana slightly sucked on his upper lip.

Lana got to her feet, moved over Clark and then lowered herself on his lap so that she straddled his upper legs. She wrapped her arms around his neck and molded into his body. She whispered into his ear.

”Say it again.”

He whispered back as he placed small kisses just under her ear and down her neck.

”I love you.”

Lana maneuvered her head so Clark could have better access to her neck. She closed her eyes as she felt the sensations created by his lips on the surface of her skin cascade throughout her body. She moved her arms down his back and pulled him closer so that she could feel his well muscled chest against her. Her breathing quickened as she felt a warmth flow throughout her body. Her flesh underneath her pajama tops became sensitive to the feel of the silk. She tightened her legs around Clark’s thighs and slightly moved her head away from him so she could speak. She nodded her forehead into Clark’s.

”Clark, if you want me…you can take me.”

Author’s Note” Some mood music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIZIBm2QGaM

Continued Below

[oldmankent]

Clark felt his arousal growing. He again moved his lips over Lana’s but this time he heatedly probed her mouth and his need grew as he felt her respond in kind. He ran his hands up and down the flanks of Lana’s body. The pace of her breathing increased as she felt his hands run over her curves. He moved his hands to the fabric of her top and was about to pull it up and off her.

He stopped.

He broke the kiss and moved his head away from Lana’s so he could speak.

”Yes. I want you. But first you need to know something about me.”

Lana couldn’t help but see the seriousness in Clark’s expression. A million things went through her mind in a split second.

”You’re already married?”

He shook his head no.

”You have a child from another relationship?”

An exuberant shaking of Clark’s head.

”You have a sexually transmitted disease?”

A strange look followed by a shaking of his head.

”You weren’t born a male?”

“No. I’ve always been a male.”

“You can’t get it up?”

Clark gently pushed up his pelvis into Lana.

”Do you feel that?”

Lana felt something underneath her. Something that wasn’t there a moment ago. Something that was getting larger. ”Ooh. Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” A sly smile came to her face.

”You’re a Communist?”

“What?”

“I’m just joking, Clark. You’re going to tell me that you’re a virgin?”

Clark was silent for a moment. He recalled his nightmare about telling Lana about his ‘status’.

”Actually…I am kind of new at this.”

This was more than Lana could ever had hoped for. ”Oh Clark. You’re perfect.” She cupped his face with her hand.

”So am I.”

“You never…”

“No. I always wanted it to be right. It’s never been right….until now. Is that what’s bothering you, Clark?”

He shook his head.

”No. There’s something else. There’s something else that you need to know about me if we’re going to be together.”

She ran her fingers across the chiseled line of his jaw. She placed a small kiss on his mouth.

”Tell me, my darling. You can tell me anything. I’ll understand. Don’t be afraid.”

Yes. She would understand. Clark totally trusted her.

“Lana…I’m…..”

Clark’s hearing became activated. They weren’t alone. There was someone else in the room. He moved Lana off his lap.

”Clark, what is it?”

He didn’t answer. Instead he turned on the lamp on the table next to the sofa. At the entrance of the living room were Chloe, Harrison and the cameraman. Clark could see that the camera had a night vision lens. Both Lana and Clark stood up to face them. Clark quickly put on his eyeglasses. Chloe, Harrison and the cameraman looked like children caught in the act of a prank against a neighbor. Clark looked at Lana. Then he looked back at the trio.

”Well, if it isn’t Moe, Larry and Curly.”

End of Chapter Twenty Two

**********

[ClanaGirl]

terrific Oldmankent again you never cease to amaze me thank you for making this one of the best Clana stories i have ever read i love Clana finally admitting that they love eachother. now any chance for a hottub scene?

[oldmankent]

Chapter Twenty Three

”One Very Smart Woman”

Clark held his temper when he discovered that he and Lana were being spied on by the Bachelorette production crew. He was angry with the crew and angry with the entire idea of people’s private lives being broadcast on television. But most of all he was angry with himself. He felt he was reckless in not taking precautions to ensure complete privacy before he revealed his love to Lana and almost revealed his true identity to her. Instead Clark had inadvertently come right to the edge of a cliff in almost revealing to the world the identity of Superman. He was certain that his declaration to Lana would be met with a certain amount of disbelief on her part. He decided beforehand that he would transform from Clark Kent to Superman in front of Lana to prove to her that he was telling the truth. Clark was not only close to transforming in front of Lana but in front of the world.

Before anyone could say anything Martha Kent appeared at the top of the stairs.

”What’s going on? Why are the lights on?”

No one answered. Everyone now felt a sense of embarrassment.

Clark and Lana both let out a sigh and Lana headed back upstairs to her bedroom. Clark gave the production crew a steely gaze that said, ‘You better get the hell out of my sight!’ The crew quickly left the house and went back to their sleeping bags in the barn. Lana walked past Martha and tried to smile but couldn’t. Martha looked down at her son and knew what had happened simply by the expression on his face. ”Clark never catches a break.” But then she realized that Lana had almost the exact same expression on her face. ”Oh my God! Clark, that girl is in love with you.”

Clark looked up at his mother.

Her expression told him that she understood exactly everything that was going on in his life. Her expression also told him not to fret.

In the end everything would be alright.

Clark shut off the light and went back to the sofa. Martha, instead of going back to her bed went to Lana’s room and lightly knocked on the door. Lana answered the door and Martha could see that the young woman had been crying.

”May I come in?”

Lana backed up and let Martha through the door. Martha walked in and sat on the bed. She patted the spot next to her with her hand.

”Lana, come here.”

Lana dutifully obeyed and sat next to Martha.

”You’re in love with my son, aren’t you?”

Lana nodded her head without hesitation.

”And did he tell you that he’s in love with you?”

Again, Lana nodded her head.

So what’s the problem?”

“Oh Mrs. Kent, I’m just so tired of being in front of the camera. This is the second time I’ve done this and I’m beginning to think that it’s the biggest mistake of my life. Clark and I have these moments that should be only for the two of us and then all of a sudden we realize that there is a camera taking in our every move. And what should have been a special moment that should be shared only by two people is shared with the entire world. I wish I was never on this stupid program.”

“Well, if you weren’t on this stupid program you never would have met Clark.”

Lana gave a weak smile. Martha took Lana’s hand and held it.

”Maybe the lesson to learned from all of this is that the time you two spend together is very precious and should never be taken for granted. The Bachelorette will come to an end and the television will be turned off and then it will just be you and Clark. There won’t be spectacular romantic dates in expensive restaurants. There won’t be carefree vacations at exotic locales. It will just be the two of you trying to make a life together and you have to be certain that a life with my son is the life you want. Are you certain that Clark is the one for you?”

This was the first time that the idea of seriously sharing her life with someone hit Lana. The program had created a heightened artificial romantic atmosphere that was always present, 24/7. It was difficult to think about the reality of what it takes to seriously maintain a relationship and to look beyond the fantasy that the program created.

”I love him so much, Mrs. Kent. I do want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

Martha’s face lit up. She had always prayed that Clark would find this kind of happiness. She reassured Lana.

”Sometimes we have to go through a trial before we get the things we want. It helps us appreciate it all the more.”

Martha observed the beginnings of a hint of a smile on Lana’s face. She sought to further reassure Lana.

”Clark spoke to me about you the night he met you.”

Lana’s eyes opened and her face lit up.

”The night of the first episode?”

Martha nodded her head.

”He spoke to me that night. I think he knew even then how he felt about you.”

Lana began to chuckle.

“Oh Mrs. Kent, he was such a mess that night. But it didn’t matter. God! The way he looked at me! No one has ever looked at me the way he did.”

Having Martha to speak to her had lifted an enormous burden from Lana’s shoulders. Martha placed her arm around Lana and hugged her.

”Mrs. Kent, Clark said he had something really important to tell me. It looked like it was something that was weighing heavily on him. I probably shouldn’t ask you but can you tell me anything?”

Martha thought for a moment before she answered.

”That’s a story for Clark to tell you. But I can tell you that Clark would never share his story with you unless he was certain that you are the one he wanted to share his life with.”

Seeing that Lana was now looking at the situation in a new light Martha rose from her seat to leave. Lana walked her to the door. Before she stepped out the door Martha said to Lana.

”Lana, there’s another lesson to be learned here.”

Lana stopped and looked curiously at Martha. Martha continued.

”There’s a time and place for everything. There is a time and a place for two young people who love each other and who are committed to each other to make love and there’s a time and place for two people who love one another and who are committed to each other not to make love. And before you are married and in my living room while I’m trying to sleep is not the time and the place to make love. Do I make myself clear?”

Martha could see from the surprised expression on Lana’s face that the answer to her question was crystal clear. As Lana closed the door her last thought was that Martha Kent was one very smart woman.

**********

Clark turned out the light and went back to the sofa. He lay in the dark thinking of the disappointment of how the night ended. It wasn’t long before a little voice in the back of his mind spoke.

”Don’t be such a poop out, Clark. You had a great evening!”

“I had a great evening?”

“Clark, the woman you love said that she loves you. It doesn’t get much better than that.”

Clark thought about it for moment and a smile grew on his face. ”She loves me. She really loves me. Wow!”

For the first time in weeks Clark slept a restful sleep. There were no longer any nightmares about Lana not recognizing him and being with someone else. There was no longer any anxiety about revealing his feelings and being rejected. But most of all the fact that he loved someone and his love was actually being returned was overwhelming to him. The world was suddenly a nicer place. The future held a brighter picture.

Clark only slept a few hours before the sun rose but he felt as if it were a solid eight hours sleep.

The rays of the sunrise came through the window and Clark opened his eyes. The smile remained of his face. The euphoria of the previous night remained. His mother, normally an early riser, was probably still sleeping due to the earlier interruption. Clark got to his feet and walked into the kitchen. In a few minutes coffee was brewing in the drip coffee maker, eggs were cracked open and whipped and made ready for scrambling, and bacon and sausages were placed on the skillet. The bacon was made a little extra crispy with a dash of heat vision. Batter was mixed and placed on the waffle iron. Clark made a quick flight to Florida for oranges and another quick flight to Vermont for fresh maple syrup. He squeezed the juice out of the oranges with his bare hands and chilled it with his freeze breath. Soon the house was filled with the aroma of breakfast.

Lana woke up to the smell. She put on her robe and opened her door. She was met in the hallway by Martha who had awakened in the same manner. The two woman looked at each other with each wondering what was going on. They descended the stairs and came into the kitchen. Clark was waiting for them. Martha was the first to speak.

”Clark, what’s going on?”

“I just thought I’d have breakfast ready for everyone.”

Martha stared at Clark. Then she moved in front of him and placed the palm of her hand on his forehead.

”Are you feeling alright? You don’t feel feverish.”

Clark smirked on hearing Martha’s flippant remark.

”I just thought I’d do something nice for everyone.”

Martha looked at Lana.

”Mark this day down in your diary, Lana. It may never happen again.”

The two women sat down at the kitchen counter and Clark began to serve them. Both ate heartily of the meal. Lana especially liked the freshly squeezed, cold orange juice. Lana spoke to Martha.

”I didn’t know Clark was this handy around the house.”

“Clark can do anything….”

Clark looked directly at his mother as she finished her sentence.

”….that he puts his mind to.”

The door of the house opened and Chloe and the production team entered. Without saying anything they started filming the trio eating breakfast. Both Lana and Martha gave each other a disgusted look. They expected Clark to do the same. Instead Clark approached the cameraman and lifted the camera off his shoulder.

”Hey man! What are you doing?”

“Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

“Well no. But I….”

“Well, you’re eating breakfast now. Sit down.”

The cameraman sat down along with Chloe and Harrison. Clark served them breakfast and they ate cautiously. The tension eased up after the food began to fill their empty stomachs and Chloe spoke up.

”Clark, why are you being so nice to us?”

“Chloe, last night I had the best night of my life and I’m not going to let you or your program spoil it. Now eat.”

Lana turned to Martha.

”Is he always so forgiving?”

Martha answered with a simple smile. Lana now felt even more secure in her feelings towards Clark. The man she was in love with was not only handsome and respectful. He was kind. Even when people weren’t kind to him.

Lana left the table to go back to her room to get dressed for the trip back to Los Angeles. Chloe and the production crew left the house to pack their equipment. Clark started to clean up the kitchen in normal speed. Martha remained with him. She spoke in a quiet voice.

”I like her.”

“I can tell.”

“Do you like her?”

Clark stopped cleaning and looked directly at his mother with a ‘how can you ask me that’ expression.

”Like her? Mom, I’m in love with her?”

Martha moved closer to her towering son and touched his arm.

”I know you love her. That’s not what I asked you. Sometimes liking someone is more important than loving someone. Do you like being with her? Do you like talking with her? Is she your best friend?”

Clark nodded his head in understanding.

”Yes, Mom. I like her.”

He wrapped his arms around his mother and gave her a loving hug. Martha gave him a squeeze.

”Good. I’m happy for you, son. You take care of that woman. She’s special.”

Then she pulled away and gave Clark a slight punch in the chest.

”But don’t ever try to have sex in my house again under my nose while I’m sleeping and not have a wedding ring on your finger. I don’t care how strong and super you are. This is my house! Marry that girl and then you can have all the sex you want!

In your bedroom!”

Martha left the kitchen and Clark was left alone holding a dishtowel. He shook his head and chuckled.

”I’m surprised she didn’t make me stand in the corner.”

**********

Lana luggage was placed inside of the limousine. Martha Kent gave her a loving hug. The two women kissed each other on the cheek.

”Lana, remember what I said about keeping in touch.”

Lana nodded her head. She went to Clark.

”I’ll see tonight at the rose ceremony?”

Clark nodded his head.

”I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“You’re not taking the same flight as me back to LA?”

Clark shook his head.

”I’ll be finishing up some home repairs for my mother. Then I’ll take a later flight.”

“Don’t be late, Clark.”

Clark wrapped his arms around Lana and lovingly squeezed her. She looked into his eyes and they drew together and kissed. They broke apart when they heard someone clear their throat. Lana gave him one last little kiss and then went into the limousine.

Chloe approached Martha.

”Mrs. Kent, I’d like to apologize to you. I’m really sorry for the way we’ve invaded your privacy.”

Martha took Chloe by the side.

”What’s bothering you, Chloe?”

“Mrs. Kent, I’ve been with The Bachelorette for several years now and I’ve never seen a couple like Clark and Lana where I can positively say that they belong together. We’ve had a lot of couples that we knew shouldn’t be together. So it never bothered me when we followed them with the camera. But it’s different with Clark and Lana. They are private people and we shouldn’t be using them for entertainment. I just feel bad about everything.”

Martha placed her arm around Chloe and gave her a warm hug.

”It’s alright, Chloe. Clark and Lana understand and I understand. The show will be over soon and everything will return to normal. Make sure you come back and visit me, Chloe.”

Chloe was surprised at Martha’s generous spirit. She returned Martha’s hug and accepted her invitation. The she entered the limousine and the vehicle drove off. Lana turned and looked behind at Clark and Martha. She waved at them and they waved back. She spoke to Chloe.

”How much did you hear last night of what was said between Clark and me?”

“I heard enough to know that you were about to go horizontal with him.”

Lana sighed. But then a small smile developed on her face at the thought of going horizontal with Clark Kent.

**********

The limousine drove past the high school and through the town of Smallville. The driver lowered the window barrier between the front seat and the rear of the vehicle.

”Ms. Lang, I think you need to see this. Look out the window.”

Lana looked out the window.

It appeared that the entire population of Smallville had gathered on the sidewalks of the town and were waving goodbye to Lana. The small children were waving American flags. The teenagers from the high school had put together a giant replica of a SNICKERS bar. Under the bar were the words.

PICK CLARK!

Another sign said,

PLEASE COME BACK
AS
MRS. KENT

Still another sign said,

WEDDING GOWN FOR SALE
NEVER BEEN USED
CHEAP!

As they left the town Lana, Chloe and Harrison laughed together when they saw the final sign.

JASON TEAGUE
BITES THE BIG ONE!

**********

Clark arrived back in Los Angeles with plenty of time to spare. Bruce Wayne met him at the private airfield to give him a ride back to the Bachelorette Mansion to make it appear as if Clark had arrived in a normal fashion. As Clark sat silently in the passenger seat of the car Bruce couldn’t help but notice that Clark’s attitude had changed. Clark seemed as if he were at peace.

”So I take it that Mama Kent likes Ms. Lang.”

“Oh yeah. How could she not like Lana?”

Clark turned his attention to Bruce.

”Bruce, I’m trying to figure something out.”

“What’s that?”

“We both know that Lana is fantastic. Right?”

“Right.”

“I mean she’s beautiful. She’s smart. She got tons of personality. She’s got everything going for her. Right?”

“Right.”

“I mean even Jason Teague knows this. Right?”

“Right.”

“So how come you let her go that easily? If she’s so fantastic and you know this, why have you given up? Why aren’t you out there fighting for her?”

“Like I told you before. I’ve seen a lot of ugly things in this world and when you seen something beautiful like you and Lana you get out of the way.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah. That’s it.”

Both men drove in silence and then Clark spoke again.

”I think you’re full of sh*t.”

Bruce was taken aback by Clark’s language.

”I’m what?”

“You’re full of sh*t.”

“Oh really? And how am I full of sh*t?”

“Well, I look at it this way. If Lana is so great you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself from chasing after her unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Unless there was someone else already in your life.”

Now it was Bruce who was quiet. Clark prompted him to speak.

”No answer?”

“Shut up.”

“Oh. I must have hit a nerve.”

“I said shut up.”

“What’s her name?”

“That’s none of your business!”

“So there is someone?”

Again there was silence. Bruce murmured under his breath.

”God damn reporters.”

Clark burst out laughing.

**********

The six men had gathered in the main living area of the Mansion. They stood in a straight line.

Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Russell Somerset, Cash McCall, Thomas T. Thomas and Jason Teague.

Lana stood next to a table that held three roses. She was wearing another exquisite designer evening gown. Chris Harrison stood next to her. Dimitrio and Chloe stood together in the background out of the view of the camera. At ABC Studios the Director studied all of the monitors which contained close-ups of all of the participants.

Lois and Jimmy watched the monitors carefully.

Harrison spoke.

”Lana, it’s time for you to choose the three bachelors who will remain and then say goodbye to the three who will leave.”

Lana needed to say some scripted words for the viewing audience. As she spoke the words different thoughts went through her mind.

She said,

”This has been the most difficult decision of my life.”

She thought,

”It’s actually been pretty easy.”

She said,

”I’ve never felt so conflicted.”

She thought,

”This has been a real no-brainer.”

She said,

”This has been the greatest experience of my life.”

She thought,

”Except for meeting Clark and his mother, and making friends with Russell and Bruce it’s been an entire waste of time.”

She said,

”Unfortunately, I have to say goodbye to three of you.”

She thought,

”Finally, I get to say goodbye to three of you.”

Chris Harrison handed Lana the first rose.

”Lana, please choose your first bachelor.”

Lana now knew how to play the game. The choice was a foregone conclusion but she had to make it appear as if she was struggling. She looked over the line of men. She found it difficult to keep her eyes from Clark. She focused on Russell.

”Russell.”

He moved forward and she offered him the rose.

”Russell, will you accept this rose?”

“I am honored.”

He took the rose and then took her hand and placed a soft kiss on it.

”Oh Russell. You’re so suave and debonair.”

**********

At ABC Studios in Los Angeles the Director and the two technicians watched the proceedings. One of the technicians spoke.

”Hey Lou. What did she call him?”

“She said he was suave and debonair.”

“Debonair? What’s that?”

“It means he’s got a big boner.”

**********

Chris Harrison handed Lana the second rose. She looked over the remaining bachelors. She noticed that Clark didn’t look at her. He kept his eyes humbly to the floor.

”Bruce.”

Bruce Wayne hesitated and then stepped forward. To Lana, he looked like he had something else on his mind. Lana offered him the rose.

”Bruce, will you accept this rose?”

He nodded his head and accepted the rose. Lana was going to kiss him on the cheek but he turned before she could do so. He walked back to the group and as he did so he looked at Clark and murmured underneath his breath.

”God damn reporters.”

Lana noticed that Clark held back a chuckle as Bruce whispered his expletive. Obviously Clark had done something to Bruce that had gotten under Bruce’s skin. Chris Harrison handed Lana the final rose.

”One more bachelor will chosen. Lana, which bachelor will it be?”

Lana struggled not to display a huge smile on her face. She looked directly at Clark.

”Clark.”

Clark moved forward and Lana offered him the rose.

”Clark, will you accept this rose?”

Even though Clark was assured of the outcome he still felt humbled by the experience. He reached for the rose and as he did so Lana reached with her other hand and held his hand in hers while she looked into his eyes.

”Yes, Lana. I accept your rose.”

He walked back to the group. Bruce lifted his eyes, shook his head and gave Clark a smile. Russell patted Clark on the back. The remaining men, Thomas, McCall and Teague walked forward to say goodbye to Lana. Lana allowed herself to be kissed on the cheek by Thomas and McCall. Both men were dignified in their defeat and wished Lana the greatest happiness.

Jason Teague held out his hands to Lana. Lana took his hands in hers.

”Jason, the road has been a long one but it has to come to an end.”

“Are you sure this is what you want, Lana?”

“Oh yes, Jason. I’m very sure.”

Teague nodded his head and let go of her hands. He walked past to her to the waiting limousine. Unlike the others before him who had left, he walked with his shoulders straight and his head erect. As he walked out of the Mansion he noticed Blake Whitaker standing away from the building in the shadows. He looked in Whitaker’s direction and made a slight nod of his head. Whitaker made a slight nod in return.

**********

Lois Lane was in the Studio watching the monitors. Jimmy Olsen looked at Lois and noticed that she had an intense focus on Jason Teague.

”What is it, Lois?”

She didn’t answer. Jimmy asked again with the same result. Then he nudged her.

”What?”

“What is it? What do you find so interesting?”

“It’s Teague.”

“What about Teague? He just lost. He’s going home to his mommy.”

“He doesn’t look like he lost?”

“What?”

“Jimmy, up until now every bachelor that Lana has sent home looks like they’ve been punched in the stomach. Except Jason Teague. He practically has a smirk on his face. I don’t like it.

I don’t like it at all.”

**********

Lana Lang gathered in the great room of the mansion with the three remaining bachelors. Over the next week she would take each one to visit her parents in Metropolis. For now she shared a bottle of champagne with them.

”Bruce, Clark, when I was in England I heard that Superman and Batman made an appearance at the Academy Awards. Did you see it?”

Clark and Bruce simply looked at each other. Each waiting for the other to answer.

End of Chapter Twenty Three

**********

[CaptainObvious]

Wow! I had a couple chapters to catch up on so I'm now up to date. Glad to read that Clark and Pete are still friends!! We love Pete! The fact that Chloe, Chris, and the camera guy ended up crashed on the dance floor asleep was funny. Whimps!

Bummer that Clark and Lana were interupted during their "I love yous" by the three stooges but glad Martha was there to talk things out with Lana. Martha knows everything. At least they finally said it, which only strengthens what they have together. Still, CK has one more doozy of a secret to share. He needs to get that detail out in the open.

Lois knows Jason is up to something. Who better to dig into his affairs than Lois. Let's hope she can help rather than hurt the situation with Clana!

[ClanaGirl]

I know Captain Obvious its true petes a great best friend for Clark amd thr way Chloe,CHris,the camrea guy all got caught by Clark and Lana i agree marhta odesk now everythign but teague has got something sneaky up his sleeve and i believe when Clark tells Lana his secret Lana will stay with him but Teague will tyr and sabatoge them

[oldmankent]

Chapter Twenty Four

”If the Shoe Fits…”

Lana’s visits to the bachelors’ families were shown the following week in two episodes on consecutive nights. Excluding commercials this amounted to 85 minutes of airtime. Five minutes were allotted to the opening of the program with a ‘Previously on The Bachelorette’ segment. For Teague, Thomas, McCall, Wayne and Somerset, thirteen minutes was the allotted amount of airtime for each one for Lana’s visits to their home and family. For Clark Kent, ten minutes was allotted for Lana’s visit. The audience was shown Lana’s trip from Los Angeles to Metropolis, the drive from Metropolis to Smallville, Lana meeting Martha Kent, the dinner with Martha and Clark and Lana’s leaving the Kent farm the following day. The final five minutes of the program was assigned to the rose ceremony. Like the previous episode, clever editing made it appear as if Lana was torn between choosing Jason and Clark.

**********

Chloe Sullivan was shocked when she saw the end result of all of the footage she and her team filmed. She knew that under Whitaker’s orders anything involving Clark Kent would be heavily edited. But Clark said ‘I love you’ to Lana and Lana responded in kind. ”That’s big news.”, thought Chloe and it was being ignored by the network as if it never happened.

**********

Oliver Queen expected his four friends to join him for their usual Monday night viewing of the episode. But the episode began and none of his friends had shown up. Oliver understood the reason. He was so despondent about Lois that he was no longer fun to be around. At 9:00pm, just as the program was starting there was a knock on his door. He opened the door to find the person he least expected, Luke Oswald.

”Luke?”

“Can I come in?”

“Come in?”

“Yeah. It’s Monday night, Oliver. It’s time to watch The Bachelorette.”

Oliver was surprised that of all his friends, it was Luke who decided to continue to support him. After all of the razing that Oliver and his cohorts had dealt to Luke over the years, it was Luke who was steadfast in his loyalty and his friendship. Both men watched the program and after a few minutes Oliver turned to Luke.

”Luke, I just wanted to tell you….You’re a good friend.”

He extended his hand to Luke.

Luke looked at Oliver and saw the expression of true sincerity in his face. Oliver needed a friend and Luke was there to answer.

The two men shook hands.

No longer would Luke Oswald be on the receiving end of Oliver Queen’s jokes and pranks. No longer would Oliver Queen let Luke Oswald be on the receiving end of anyone’s jokes and pranks.

**********

Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen had seen everything from the Director’s perspective. They had missed the declaration of love between Clark and Lana because it was recorded by Chloe’s team late at night without being transmitted live back to the Studio. But it was obvious to Lois and Jimmy that Lana reacted differently to Clark than she did to the other bachelors. Yet this difference was not to be found in the final broadcasted version of the episode.

**********

Since sending Lois and Jimmy to Los Angeles to ‘assist’ Clark in the story, Perry White had not heard anything that could be considered substantial to the ‘story’ and he continually pushed Lois and Jimmy to ‘keep digging’ until they found the story that Perry believed Clark was pursuing.

Perry watched the latest episodes of The Bachelorette in his home by himself. He was disappointed in that there was so little of Clark and he didn’t see anything that could be construed as a coded message from his ace reporter.

As he turned off the television his telephone rang. It was Blake Whittaker.

Whittaker invited Perry to Los Angeles to witness the rose ceremony of the next episode. While the bachelors’ visits to Lana’s parents would be filmed and edited and then broadcast, the episode ending rose ceremony would be broadcast live on Monday night. Whittaker thought that Perry would find a live broadcast interesting. Of course it helped that Whittaker offered to pay all of Perry’s travel expenses. Perry enthusiastically accepted. Now he would get to see Clark’s progress first hand. He might even get the chance to speak to Clark directly and find out something about the story that Perry was certain Clark had found.

**********

The Ausiello Files

Hey Bachelorette Fans! Big news from sunny California. The Bachelorette will be broadcasting live on Monday night. This is far from normal. Usually the Bachelorette only does a live broadcast on the ring ceremony of the final episode but this time we will be getting live broadcast on the next to the last episode. My sources tell me that something BIG is in the air. Will Superman and Batman make a surprise appearance like they did during the Academy Award? Only kidding, folks. But I’ve been told that this one episode you do not want to miss.

**********

Bruce Wayne would have dinner with the Langs on Tuesday evening and Russell Somerset would have dinner with them on Thursday evening. Laura Lang fretted the entire time before their visit. Regarding Bruce Wayne, she worried that her cooking and her family’s hospitality would not be up to expectations of a billionaire. Of course, Lewis did not share her concern.

”No matter how much money Wayne may have, his crap still stinks just like ours.”

Regarding Russell Somerset, she was particularly troubled about impressing a cultured English gentleman who had been knighted by Queen Elizabeth. She shared her concern with her husband. Lewis, who was accustomed to his wife worrying over things like whether or not the sun would rise in the morning, responded to her anxiety with the usual indifference that Laura had grown accustomed to after thirty years of marriage.

”In the words of the great Jerry Lee Lewis, England can kiss my ass.”

Laura remembered how uncomfortable she felt around Jason Teague when he had visited the Lang residence when Lana was one of the contestant women on The Bachelor. To Laura, he was condescending and arrogant. Laura never told Lana but she was relieved when Jason didn’t pick Lana to be his bride. It was bad enough that any type of social situation with the pretentious Teagues would be unbearable. A wedding would have been horrific. Laura was even more relieved when Lana didn’t pick Jason as one of the remaining bachelors in the last episode of The Bachelorette. ”Thank God! Lana, I see you not only got your good looks and personality from my side of the family but also your brains. The only things you got from your father’s side of the family are your feet.” But now she and Lewis had to face two men whose class and status were far above Laura and her husband. Judging from what she saw on television, Lana seemed to really like these men. Laura prayed that she and Lewis would be able to measure up to the bachelors’ expectations.

Much to Laura’s relief, Bruce and Russell turned out to be perfect gentlemen. They heaped compliment upon compliment on Laura’s cooking, the Lang house and the Lang hospitality. It seemed like the two men were able to talk about every subject under the sun but skillfully stayed away from religion and politics. Bruce Wayne kept everyone entertained with his self-deprecating sense of humor. Russell Somerset kept everyone laughing with his stories of Hollywood and film making. Lewis and Laura felt totally comfortable in their presence.

Lewis and Laura came away with the impression that Bruce and Russell were fine men and either one would make Lana a fine husband. But there was one very important question to be answered.

How did Lana feel about the men?

Lana was pleasant and affable with the men. She treated them with the affection of old friends.

But…..

Did she love either man?

Laura and Lewis obtained their answer when they were sitting at the dining room table after dinner and making small talk. Several times they dropped something on the floor so that they could leave their seat and look under the table. Once both Laura and Lewis each dropped an eating utensil at the same time and they both stuck their heads under the table at the same time to retrieve it. Lana attributed her parents’ newfound clumsiness to nerves. Little did Lana know that while under the table her parents were examining Lana’s feet and whether or not she was still wearing shoes?

As the Tuesday night date came to an end Laura and Lewis stood at the entrance to their house and waved goodbye to Bruce Wayne. As they waved Laura murmured to her husband.

”Mr. Wayne is a very nice man.”

“Yep.”

“He’s very rich.”

“Yep.”

“Lana would want for nothing.”

“Yep.”

“Do you think she loves him?”

“Nope.”

“Neither do I. I guess it’s settled then.”

“Yep.”

They went through the same ritual as Russell said goodbye on Thursday night.

”Russell is a very nice man.”

“Yep.”

“He’s not at all snotty and stuck up like we expected.”

“Nope.”

“Lana would see the world with him. He would take very good care of her.”

“Yep.”

“But she doesn’t love him.”

“Nope.”

“I guess we’ll have to see what happens with this Kent fellow on Saturday.”

“Yep.”

“Maybe I should invite my sister.”

The smile left Lewis and the blood drained from his face. His vocabulary increased exponentially as panic took hold of him.

”Oh God, Laura! No! Not your sister! If you call Nell than she’s going to call her sister-in-law and so on and so on and then it will be like a nuclear chain reaction that not even Superman will be able to stop. We don’t want to subject the poor man to your family too soon.”

“My family?”

“Alright. Our family.”

Lewis could barely say the word, our. Laura turned from Lewis and walked back into the house.

”I’m going to call my sister right now.”

Lewis chased after his wife.

”Laura! No! Don’t do this to the man! If he knows what he’s getting into he might never marry our little girl! Oh God! Oh the humanity!”

**********

Clark could not avoid flying on a commercial airline from Los Angeles to Metropolis. This time the camera was with him everywhere he went and he had to travel the way normal human beings travel. He went to the airport expecting an experience similar to his first flight on a commercial airline but he discovered that this time everything would be different. The limousine took him from the Bachelorette Mansion to the airport. Inside the airport he was quickly processed at check-in and moved without incident through the security checkpoints. He had some time to wait at the gate. He took a seat in the waiting area and started perusing through a copy of the Los Angeles Times. ”Let’s see. The economy sucks. A suicide bomber blew himself up in Beirut. The Russians are threatening the Poles. The Iranians are threatening the Israelis and the North Koreans are threatening everybody. The economy sucks. Manny Ramirez has signed with the Dodgers for $45 million dollars. $45 million dollars? For 2 years? Yikes! Terrell Owens has moved to another team. Buffalo? Wait till he plays in the snow. Says he wants a fresh start. Yeah right. That should be interesting. Angelina Jolie wants another baby. Lindsay Lohan wants another drink. Oh, and the economy sucks. Just another day in the neighborhood.” He tossed the newspaper in the trash can.

”Oops.”

He picked the paper out of the trash can and then placed it in a recycling bin.

At the beginning of The Bachelorette Clark was rushed to catch his plane and didn’t have time to observe the people around him. Now he had a little time to observe the human beings in a habitat he was not familiar with – the waiting area at the gate. There were a few college students dressed in sweatshirts and blue jeans. They had Ipods and were bobbing their heads up and down to the music playing through their earphones. There were a few businessmen who were probably wrapping up their time in Los Angeles and getting home to their families. They had smiles on their faces as they talked into their cell phones and told their loved ones that they would soon be with them. There were some mothers who were seated but keeping a watchful eye on their small children as the little ones stood at the window and watched the airplanes leave the runway and climb into the air. Clark’s observant eyes moved over the people and stopped at a couple. It was the same couple he had been seated with in his first flight. The honeymooners who couldn’t keep their hands out of each other’s pants and who had joined the mile high club in the restroom. But now they looked very different. They sat in two seats next to each other but they held their bodies away from each other as if there was an electromagnetic force field that was pushing them away. They could barely look at each other. The woman turned to the man and was speaking quietly to him. He held his eyes downward and would not meet her eyes. Clark knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop but his curiosity got the best of him and he activated his super hearing.

”Why weren’t you honest with me? Why didn’t you tell me about your credit card debt?”

“I don’t know why. I thought that could be something you and I could work through…later.”

“But we’re not talking about a couple of thousand dollars. You have $38,000 in credit card debt. $38,000 at 22% interest!”

“Oh stuff it! Get off my back! It’s my debt!”

“And now it’s my debt because I’m your wife. I’m almost finished paying off my student loans and now you’ve given me a sh*tload of credit card debt I’ve got to worry about. I thought when you and I married we could work for a couple of years to save enough money to put a down payment on a house and then start a family. Instead we now have to work to pay off your debt. What did you buy with $38,000?”

“Stuff.”

“Stuff? That’s all you have to say? You just bought…. stuff?”

The man didn’t answer. Clark could see the shame on his face and the disappointment on his bride’s face. She spoke again.

”It’s not the debt that I mind. I’ve always believed that two people who love each other can work through anything. What bothers me, what really bothers me is that you weren’t honest with me. If I can’t trust you now, how am I going to be able to trust you later?”

Clark deactivated his enhanced hearing. He had heard enough. ”I’ve got to tell Lana and soon. I have to be honest with her about who I really am before she makes her decision. She has to know what she would be getting into.” But the events of the current episode were too cluttered. Three dates with the family over a week. The camera was always with them and the rose ceremony was to be a live broadcast. He decided he would tell Lana everything after the next rose ceremony. At that time she would choose two out of the three remaining bachelors. Clark assumed he would be one of the finalists. Then he would sneak away late at night, find Lana and take her someplace where they could be alone. He would take her away using his superpower. It would be a shock to her but it would be an effective way of introducing her to who he really is. She would know that Clark Kent is Superman. Then she would have the necessary information to make a decision between him and the remaining bachelor.

The flight was boarding. Clark was escorted into the plane and given a first-class seat. He sat down in the soft leather seat and stretched out his long legs. A young, attractive flight attendant approached him.

”Mister Kent, would you like a glass of champagne?”

Clark looked at her. It was the same flight attendant who had prevented him from using the restroom in first class during his initial flight to Hawaii. He gave her a slight smile.

”No thank you, Miss. I mean Ms. I’ll just have some tomato juice.”

She gave him a large, acknowledging smile.

”Tomato juice it is. Mister Kent, can I tell you something?”

Clark made a small nod of his head.

”We’re really rooting for you, Mister Kent. We’re all hoping that you’re the one that Lana Lang chooses.”

Clark nodded his head in acknowledgement. The attendant left to get his juice. Clark thought it ironic that it was just six weeks ago that she was treating him as if he was infected with a contagious disease. Now he was being treated like a beloved celebrity. But what had changed. He was Clark Kent then. He is Clark Kent now. ”I’m still the same person. My clothes are just cleaner.” Then a smile came to his face. No. I have changed. Six weeks ago I wasn’t in love. Now I don’t even want to think of a future without Lana Lang in it.”

”Thinking about Ms. Lang?”

Clark turned to the voice. The attendant had returned with his drink. She spoke.

”You’re smiling to yourself. I figured there had to be a good reason.”

Clark chuckled and then nodded his head. The he drank his tomato juice.

**********

The plane landed at Metropolis International Airport and a limousine was waiting for Clark. Clark was driven into the suburbs just a few miles outside of the city. The upper middle class neighborhood consisted of rows of large houses placed on medium sized lots of about a third of an acre. Clark could see that there were three of four basic house designs to which families added their own accessories and colors. Each driveway held at least two cars. One of the cars was usually a luxury sedan while the second car was a minivan. The limousine stopped a large house where the driveway was filled with cars. Clark noticed that cars were also parked on both sides of the street in front of the house. ”Hmmm. I wonder what’s going on.” The door was opened and Clark exited the vehicle carrying a small gift wrapped box. As soon as Clark got out of the limousine and the driver closed the door behind him the front door of the house opened and Lana came outside and quickly closed the door behind her as if she were hiding something. She ran to Clark, stood at her toes, placed her hands on his chest and gave him a quick kiss.

”Hi.”

Clark could see that Lana was nervous. With his free hand Clark held Lana’s hand as he spoke.

”Lana, what’s wrong.”

She answered as if she were sitting on pins and needles.

“Wrong? Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. What makes you think something’s wrong?”

“Well you look a little nervous.”

“Nervous? Nervous? I’m not nervous. I’m Lana Lang. Ice water runs through my veins. Why should I be nervous?”

Clark looked down on Lana and smiled. He pulled her closer to him and she buried her head in his chest. His voice was gentle.

”Lana, I know we haven’t known each other long but I think I’m observant enough to know when something’s bothering you. You can tell me.”

Lana let all of her anxiety spill out.

“Oh Clark. I’m so upset. I thought it was just going to be you, me and my parents. But my mother…..my mother….she…she…”

“She what?”

“She invited a few of our relatives to visit and meet you.”

Clark reassured her.

”Lana, it’s okay. I don’t mind meeting a few of your relatives. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”

Lana looked up at Clark’s optimistic face. She turned towards the door, took his hand and pulled him with her. She murmured underneath her breath.

”It’s not you that I’m worried about.”

They stood in front of the door and Lana opened it.

Inside the house was an army of people. Men, women and children. All ages. All shapes and all sizes. They filled the entire house from the front foyer through the living room and dining room to the back of the kitchen and out on the deck in the rear of the house.

”Clark, this is my family.”

The entire group spoke in one voice.

”Hi Clark!”

Clark looked at Lana.

”These are just a few of your relatives?”

Lana answered with a slight, unsure nod of her head. Clark led Clark to Laura and Lewis.

”Mom, Dad, this is Clark Kent.”

Clark gave Lewis a solid handshake. Laura extended her hand which Clark took in his. He was unsure of whether or not he should give her more than a handshake like a kiss on the cheek. He decided to err on the side of caution. Then he handed Laura the box he was holding.

”It’s just a little something, Mrs. Lang. I hope you like it.”

Laura removed the gift wrap and opened the box. Inside was a crystal sphere. Clark explained.

”The refractive faces of the crystal disperses the light so you can see all of the colors of the spectrum inside the crystal.”

Oohs and Aahs could be heard throughout the house as Laura held the crystal for everyone to see. Lana squeezed Clark’s arm to signal her approval. Laura moved forward and kissed Clark on his cheek.

”Oh Clark, you shouldn’t have. This looks terribly expensive.”

Lewis added,

”Especially for someone who doesn’t have a job.”

Clark didn’t answer. ”Oh boy.” It would have been difficult to explain that Superman had extracted the crystal from the Andes Mountains and Clark had formed its shape with the pressure of his own hands and cut the edges with his heat vision. Lana gave her father an icy stare. Then she guided Clark further inside the house to meet her relatives. Everyone gave Clark a handshake or a hug or a pat on the back. Most of the men tried to squeeze his hand into submission but they ended up shaking away the strain of trying to crunch a block of steel from their own hands. The older women who were Laura’s age indirectly complimented Lana with comments like, ”Where did you ever find him?” and “Are there any more like you at home because I have a daughter?” As the couple moved towards the women who were closer to Lana’s age Lana gave Clark’s arm a squeeze. Clark responded.

”What wrong?”

“I just want to warn you, Clark.”

“Warn me about what?”

“Not about what. About who.”

“Who?”

“Who. You’re about to meet my cousin, Denise. That’s who. She’s a bit of drama queen.”

“Drama queen?”

“Yeah. Whatever you’ve done in your life, wherever you’ve gone, she will tell you that she’s either done it or done something better. The trouble is that she’s so convincing in her tall tales that we never know whether or not she’s telling the truth. It drives me crazy. She always has to be the center of attention. Last year she traveled to Italy and when she came home she had everyone believing that she had an affair with the Pope.”

“The Pope as in the Pope who lives in the Vatican?”

Lana nodded her head. Clark continued.

”That’s bad.”

“Tell me about it. So whatever she tells you, take it with a grain of salt.”

A young woman approached. She was a little taller than Lana and a little plumper. Clark noticed her eyes were the same color and shape. Her hair was the same color as Lana’s but cut shorter.

”Clark this is my cousin, Denise.”

Denise wrapped her arms around Clark and gave him an exuberant hug. Clark noticed that Denise slightly overdid it on the cologne area.

”Hi Clark. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Lana thought, ”Actually you haven’t heard anything about him, b*tch.”

Denise turned her attention to Lana.

”Lana, you’ll never guess who I had lunch with today.”

Lana just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. Denise gushed.

”Madonna. I had lunch with the Material Girl herself. We’re very good friends. She wanted to get my opinion on her wardrobe for her new tour.”

It took every ounce of willpower that Lana possessed to refrain from rolling her eyes. Denise turned her attention back to Clark.

”Have you ever met Madonna, Clark?”

“No. I haven’t had the….”

Denise didn’t wait for an answer as she turned back to Lana.

”And you’ll never guess who I’m dating now?”

Again Lana smiled and shrugged. This time she made a guess and answered.

”Russell Somerset?”

“The actor? Noooooo, silly. The Man of Steel. Superman and I are seeing each other.”

Clark raised his eyebrows.

”Superman? You’re dating Superman?”

Hearing Clark’s response Denise turned her attention to him.

“Uh huh. I was going to bring him with me tonight but he had an emergency at the last second. Some kind of earthquake in India or someplace like that.”

Clark was speechless. Lana politely told Denise that she has to introduce Clark to the rest of the family and moved on. She whispered to Clark.

”See. What did I tell you?”

“A definite drama queen.”

“The thing is that she’s so good at it we never know if she lying or telling the truth. She could surprise us all and actually could be dating Superman.”

Clark murmured to himself,

“He’d be surprised too.”

Lana introduced Clark to another cousin. This was a woman who was about ten years older than Lana. She was holding a little boy by the hand. In the little boy’s free hand was a Superman action figure.

”Clark, this is my cousin, Maureen.”

Maureen extended her hand.

”Hi Clark. It’s nice to meet you. This is my son, Justin. Justin, say hello to Mr. Kent.”

The little boy began to pout. He pulled his hand away from his mother and shouted out.

”No!”

Then he balled his free hand into a tiny fist, reared back and punched Clark in the stomach. Immediately the little boy began to scream and cry.

”Mommy! He hurt my hand!”

Maureen appeared to be familiar with such behavior. She took hold of the boy’s hand again.

”Justin! What did I tell you about hitting people?”

As she pulled the boy away from the couple she turned back to Clark.

”Justin likes you, Clark. He always hits the people he likes.”

Two older women approached the couple. Clark judged their age to be in the 80s. They walked arm and arm as if she were supporting each other as they moved. They both had silver hair. Their faces were creased with wrinkles. One of them wore very thick eyeglasses and a hearing aid.

”Clark, these are my great aunts. This is my great aunt, Celia and this is my great aunt, Sophie.”

Sophie wore the very thick eyeglasses. Clark said hello to the ladies. Sophie stared at Clark through her eyeglasses. The lenses made her eyes appear almost zombie-like. Then she spoke.

”Hey! Are you a Polack?”

Clark was amused at the question. He politely answered.

”No. No, I’m not.”

Evidently Sophie’s hearing aid was inadequate to the task and she turned to Celia and spoke loudly, almost shouting.

”What’d he say?”

Celia answered loudly so that Sophie could hear her.

“He said he’s not a Polack.”

“Oh!”

Sophie continued to stare at Clark. He felt like he was being examined like a germ underneath a microscope.

”Well, what are you? Are you an Italian?”

She pronounced Italian as Eye-talian. This time Clark expanded on his answer.

”No. I’m an American.”

Sophie turned to Celia and shouted.

”What’d he say?”

“He said he’s an American.”

Sophie thought about the answer for a moment before she responded.

”Well what kind of a stupid answer is that? We’re all Americans.”

The two women walked away from the couple. Everyone could hear Sophie speaking.

”There’s nuttin wrong with Polacks. I was married to a Polack for 50 years. Stosh was a good man!”

**********

The dinner was actually a barbecue that took place on the deck in the rear of the house. Lewis was barbecuing burgers, hot dogs, and sausage sandwiches. All of the women brought assorted salads and desserts. There were coolers full of beer. Clark was compelled to sample every dish that was brought to the party. In addition to burgers, hotdogs and sausage he was required to eat macaroni salad, potato salad, tossed salad, ambrosia, stuffed cabbage, lasagna, refried beans, brownies, apple pie, cherry pie, peach pie, mincemeat pie, chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal raisin cookies, fruit salad, more brownies, and drink every beer that was placed in his hand.

Even though it was March everyone was acting as if it were the summertime. Lana covered herself in a sweater. Several people remarked as they walked by.

”Lana, where are your shoes? You’ll catch cold in your bare feet.”

Lewis and Laura overheard the comments. They scanned the crowd to find their daughter. They found the couple talking to several other people.

Lana’s feet were shoeless.

Laura and Lewis looked at each other with a concerned expression but they said nothing.

Unlike the private dinners with Wayne and Somerset, Lana discovered that no subject was taboo as Clark was subjected to an interrogation by her outspoken and opinionated relatives.

”So Clark, what do you think about Obama?”

“So Clark, I bet you got a lot of liberals and gays working there at the Daily Planet?”

“Do you know Sean Hannity?”

“So Clark, that’s a nice suit you’re wearing. You must make a lot of money. How much?”

A group of young women led by Lana’s cousin, Denise, approached the couple.

”Clark, we have a question to ask you.”

Lana looked warily at Denise but Clark was having a wonderful time with the openness of Lana’s family.

”Sure. Go ahead. What do you want to ask me?”

“How big are you?”

“About six four, two…two twenty.”

“No. That’s not what we mean. How much are you packing where it counts?”

Clark eyes almost popped out of his head. Lana had already turned red from embarrassment. Clark looked at Lana and then looked back at the women.

”You don’t mean my height and weight?”

“No. We want to know the important stuff. Denise is dating Superman and she says he’s out of this world.”

Denise added,

”And he knows how to use it.”

Clark just nodded his head.

”Well, I’m sure anyone would have a problem measuring up to Superman.”

The group giggled at the answer and the left the couple.

An older couple approached Clark and Lana. They appeared to be in their late sixties. The woman gave Lana an enormous hug and the man gave Clark an enthusiastic handshake.

”Clark, these are old friends of my parents. This is Ruben and Harriet Goldstein.”

Ruben looked over Clark and then spoke,

”Clark, you look like a pretty solid guy. You must work out.”

Clark began to answer but Ruben continued talking.

”Me? I’m not so solid anymore.”

Harriet pitched in,

”Ruben had his gall bladder removed last month. He was sick as a dog.”

Ruben continued,

”Yeah. I was as sick as a dog. Wanna see my scar?”

Ruben started to pull up his shirt. Clark raised his hands to stop him.

”No. No. No. That’s alright, Mr. Goldstein. You don’t need to show me your scar. I can imagine what it looks like.”

Ruben stopped pulling up his shirt but still continued talking.

”And last year I had my knees replaced.”

Harriet pitched in,

”He was walking like a cripple.”

Ruben continued,

”I was walking like a cripple. You wanna see my scars?”

Before Clark could answer Ruben started unbuckling his belt around his pants. Clark stopped him again.

”That’s alright. You don’t need to show me.”

As the couple walked away, Harriet spoke.

”You got yourself a nice boy there, Lana. He’s a very good listener.”

For a few minutes the couple was alone. Lana looked at Clark.

”Well, this is my family and their friends, Clark. They can be a little overwhelming to people who don’t know them.”

Clark could see that Lana was worried as to how Clark would react to everyone. He nodded his head in understanding and smiled at her.

”But I bet they would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it?”

Lana’s smile grew as she could see the understanding in his eyes.

”Yeah. Yeah, they would.”

She reached up and placed her hands at the back of Clark’s head. She pulled him down to her and they softly kissed each other for a moment. Their passion increased and Clark wrapped his arms around Lana and drew her to him. For a moment she broke the kiss and whispered to him.

”Clark, I love you.”

Before he could answer in kind the crowd gave a hoot and the men pulled Clark away from Lana.

”Hey boy! You better cool off!”

The crowd pulled at Clark and Lana and soon music began to blast from the Lang’s sound system.

Author’s Note: Music playing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzD7UyyywYo

Soon Clark found himself in a conga line. Everyone who had been in the house was now in a line and dancing around the house. Lana was in line in front of Clark. He placed his hands on her narrow waist as they moved forward. Lana took her hands and placed them on top of his hands and pushed his hands down from her waist to her hips. Then she returned her hands to the waist of the person in front of her. Lana shimmied her hips so that Clark could feel every exaggerated movement. ”This is what’s waiting for you, Clark – on our wedding night.” Clark liked what he was feeling and it would have been easy for him to pull Lana back into him so that he could feel even more but he knew that everyone’s eyes were on him and he remained on his best behavior.

He felt someone cut in line behind him and two hands were on his waist. Then the hands moved down to his hips. Then the hands moved behind him to his backside. Then the hands forcefully grabbed his buttocks. His eyes popped open and he heard Lana’s cousin, Denise, behind him.

”Welcome to the family, Clark.”

**********

The evening was almost over. Clark was standing in front of the house with Lana and her parents. Laura kissed him on the cheek.

”Clark, it was so nice to meet to finally meet you. Thank you so much for the gift. I hope we see you again soon.”

Clark felt totally at ease with the Lang family. He had never met such people before who just let everything out and had fun doing it. Lana was overjoyed that Clark had so much fun. Her only disappointment was that they had absolutely no time alone. They were standing in front of her parents and the entire crowd and Clark was hesitant to take hold of Lana with all of the passion that he was feeling. Lana wanted him badly. But her want would have to wait. She stood on her shoeless toes and gave him a soft but lingering kiss. She broke off the kiss when she heard the ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ from the crowd. As Clark walked to the car the army of relatives shouted goodbye. Lewis called out to him.

”Clark! Wait a second!”

Lewis placed one hand on Clark’s shoulder and extended his other hand to shake Clark’s hand. Clark felt something in his hand. Lewis was passing him something unseen by the others. Lewis whispered.

”Shhh. Don’t. Don’t look at your hand. Clark, I know you’re out of work. Maybe this will come in handy until you find a job.”

He patted Clark on the back as Clark lower his head to get in the limousine. Once inside Clark looked at his hand.

Lewis had given him a pair of $100 bills.

As the car door was closed Clark heard a loud voice from the house.

”So you wanna see my scar?”

End of Chapter Twenty Four

**********

[ClanaGirl]

Wow oldmankent truly geniousi mean the Lang family and Lana's cousin denise sscary

[CaptainObvious]

Incredible update! The humor throughout this story has been good but in this update I lost it when I read Aunt Sophie asking Clark if he was a Polack!! I could just picture two old women and the rest of the crazy Lang clan drilling poor Clark with questions. How embarrassing for Lana! The part about Denise dating Superman was clever too! Of course how humiliated Denise would be if Clark was able to reveal himself as Superman right than and there to squash her lies.

So, Perry is enroute to LA. What mischief is he going to encounter? I'll wait for the next update to find out.

[LetMeGo]

Lana's family is hilarious, poor Clark. :lol: He handled it well!

Crazy, delusional Perry in coming... that can't be good!

[oldmankent]

Chapter Twenty Five

”Smoking Gun”

Author’s Note: Musical Interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjxY7xmhJ6o

Russell Somerset sat by himself in great room of the mansion. It was quiet now but in a few hours he would feel the glare of the bright lights. The room would be filled with the production crew and the cameras would begin rolling. He was dressed in a black tuxedo. He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out his wallet. He opened it and pulled out a photograph. It was picture of a young woman with a pleasant, comely face and shoulder length strawberry blonde hair. Her smile was wide and sparkling and her teeth were without flaw. It was a smile that was meant for someone special. He held the photograph and a smile came to his face.

”She’s beautiful. Who is she?”

Russell was startled. Bruce Wayne was standing behind him. He was also outfitted in a tuxedo. Russell sighed.

”This is Mary. The woman I love.”

Bruce gasped at what he had just heard. If Russell was involved with someone why was he on The Bachelorette? A voice in the back of Wayne’s head shouted out. ”Never mind Russell. What are you doing here?” He pulled up a chair and sat by his friend.

”Russell, what are you doing on The Bachelorette?”

Somerset chuckled.

”My agent thought that appearing on The Bachelorette would be a good career move. I may have three Academy Awards but I’m still not big box office in your country. My publicist thought that exposure on American television would increase my marketability, my paycheck and his paycheck.”

Wayne shook his head in dismay. Then he continued.

“How does Mary feel about you?”

Somerset paused for a moment before he answered.

”We want to together, Bruce. But Mary’s not sure she wants to leave Wales.”

Bruce didn’t respond. He knew that if he remained silent Russell would continue to talk.

”We grew up in the same village. You Americans have a saying. You can take the boy out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the boy.”

“Well, you seem to have done pretty well in the big world.”

“I’m an actor, Bruce. This is what I do. I mold myself into a character to fit any situation. I’ve been a prime minister, a priest and a serial killer. Next month I’ll be a flying superhero with a bald head. But the truth is I’m just a small town fellow who’s good at pretending he’s something more. I’m not well read. I’ve never been to university. I dread being at Hollywood social events for fear that people will really see that I’ve nothing much to offer. You and Clark and Lana have been a God-send. If it wasn’t for the three of you I would have been miserable here.”

“So it’s all an act?”

“Like I said. I’ve always been very good at pretending. Do you really think there’s a chance that Lana might pick me? I would hate to be the one to break her heart.”

Bruce rose from his seat and patted Russell on his shoulder.

”Well, I wouldn’t worry about it, Russell. Right now there’s only one person who can break Lana’s heart and it’s not you and it’s not me. Whether it’s tonight or next week, you’ll be going home to your Mary.”

“What about you, Bruce? Do you have anyone to go home to?”

Bruce didn’t answer. He smiled and walked away.

**********

Blake Whittaker flew to Metropolis to meet Perry White. The two men then flew back to Los Angeles in the ABC private corporate jet. The jet was well stocked in liquor and food. The two men were attended to by two young, shapely female flight attendants.

Whittaker poured Perry a glass of an ice cold imported beer. Perry sipped it slowly and savored its crisp flavor.

”Oh that’s good! I remember when we were in college and we couldn’t afford this stuff. We could only afford the cheap Rheingold. God, that was awful. But when you only care about drinking and not what you’re drinking, anything will do.”

“Those were the good old days when our only worry was how we were going to scrounge up enough money to go out on Saturday night and get laid.”

Perry lifted up his glass.

”To the good old college days!”

They clicked their glasses and Perry finished his beer in large gulps while Whittaker watched him and took small sips of his beer. He refilled Perry’s glass.

”Enjoy, Perry.”

White finished off the second beer. Then the attendants presented him with food that had been prepared by the best chefs in Hollywood. The food was delicious but spicy and necessitated the drinking of several more cold brews.

Soon a mixture of Elvis Presley hits was playing on the plane’s state of the art sound system. A screen dropped down from the ceiling and a film of Elvis in concert was shown. The attendants then started serving some Kentucky sipping whiskey. Perry responded to the hospitality.

”Good food, good drink, beautiful women and the King. It just doesn’t get any better than this.”

By the time the plane arrived in Los Angeles the food, drink, music, jovial company, and the attractive, attentive women playing up to a middle aged man’s ego had lulled Perry into a stupor.

A limousine picked up White and Whittaker at the airport and took them directly to the Bachelorette Mansion.

**********

It was late afternoon when Lois Lane received the call at her hotel that she and Jimmy were being invited to The Bachelorette Mansion to be present for the live broadcast of the rose ceremony. She was surprised at this. They had only been to the mansion once before when the episode was being filmed but never for a live broadcast. Since that time they had always been present in the Studio with the Director. A limousine picked up Lois and Jimmy. Chloe was in the limousine waiting for them.

”Chloe, what’s going on? I got a late afternoon call to be present at the Mansion for tonight’s broadcast.”

“I don’t know. I was just told to pick you up and bring you to the Mansion. I spent last week at Lana’s parents’ house with the production crew and then at the studio over the weekend for editing the episode for the Monday broadcast. Picking you and Jimmy up was a last minute order by Mister Whittaker.”

Lois thought about it for a moment and came to the conclusion that the entire episode was being rushed into production and she and Jimmy were probably an afterthought.

**********

Lana Lang had spent the entire week at her parents’ house. The week had passed by quickly with all of the preparation for and then the arrival of the three bachelors. The preparation for Thursday’s date with Clark had been especially stressful as Aunt Nell arrived at the house to pass judgment on Clark. Aunt Nell was Laura’s younger sister and they had a love-hate relationship like many siblings do. Nell annoyed Laura by being opinionated and outspoken but she wielded considerable influence over Laura and Laura always sought to gain Nell’s approval. Laura became stressed out by any visit by Nell. Believing, and rightfully so, that Nell was passing judgment on everything Laura did. This stressed out Laura and if Laura was stressed out than Lewis was stress out and if her parents were stressed than Lana was stressed out. Now that Nell and the remainder of the family had left, everyone relaxed.

To a point.

Chloe and the production crew were still present and filming Lana’s every move and listening to her every word. Lana and her parents only spoke about the three men in general terms. Lewis and Laura noticed that Lana had become extremely uncomfortable in front of the camera. The pressure of going through the previous Bachelor program and the current Bachelorette program was taking its toll. So Lana’s mother and father didn’t pressure her into talking about her upcoming decision. They were certain that Lana wanted to talk about it…in private.

At the end of the week late at night when the cameras had been turned off and Lewis was asleep that Laura left her bed and tiptoed into Lana’s room to speak with her daughter. She had seen that the light was on from the bottom of the door and she assumed that Lana was still awake. Laura found Lana in her pajamas and sitting in her bed. She was looking at a purple rose that had been pressed between the pages of a book. Laura sat on the bed next to Lana and looked at the book.

Pride and Prejudice
By
Jane Austen

”Is Clark Kent your Mister Darcy, Lana?”

Lana didn’t have to speak. Her face blushed at the mention of Clark’s name and her shy smile was answer enough for Laura.

”Your father and I knew you had met someone special when we spoke to you after the first episode.”

Lana was surprised.

”What?....How?”

“When you told us that your feet were bothering you.”

Lana lifted up the covers looked at her bare feet and saw nothing unusual.

”My feet? What do my feet have to do with anything?”

“Lana, from my side of the family you got your looks, your height, your weight, your personality, and your intelligence.”

“Jeez, mom. Did I get anything from Dad’s side of the family?”

“Yes. Your feet.”

Lana wanted to laugh but saw that her mother was deadly serious.

”I don’t understand.”

“The women on your father’s side of the family have a special gift….or a curse…. depending on your point of view.”

Lana said nothing and waited for her mother to continue in explaining the mystery of her feet.

”All of the women on your father’s side of family have something peculiar happen to them when they meet the man they love. Their toes curl and their feet become so uncomfortable that their only relief is go without shoes. It’s as if their feet know what’s in their heart before they do. It’s sort of like an early warning system.”

“You’re kidding? Right?”

“Oh Lana, I wish I were. Your grandmother and great grandmother spent practically their entire married life without wearing shoes. On the day I married your father Grandma Lang told me that if we were to ever have a daughter she would have this affliction. I didn’t believe her until she told me that she had walked down the aisle on her wedding day without shoes. No one knew because of the length of her wedding gown.”

Laura could see the doubt in Lana’s eyes. Laura showed Lana a photograph she had pulled from her wedding album.

”Here. Look.”

Lana smiled as she viewed the photograph. It was a family photograph of her parents’ wedding day. Her parents were in the middle of the picture. They were young and it could easily be seen that they were terribly in love. To the outside of Laura were her parents, Lana’s maternal grandparents. A smile came to Lana’s face as she remembered them with fondness. To the outside of Lewis were his parents, Lana’s paternal grandparents. She also remembered them with affection. Lana looked over the photograph carefully. Unlike Laura’s parents who were in a stiff formal pose, Lewis’ parents stood very close together. In fact, Grandma Lang leaned into Grandpa Lang as if they were forty years younger and newlyweds. Lana chuckled at the sight. ”Married all those years and still in love.” Lana’s eyes moved over Grandma Lang’s dress and stopped when she came to the old woman’s feet.

She was without shoes.

Lana put her hand to her mouth and gasped. She looked at Laura. Laura spoke.

”I can show you an older picture of your great grandmother and you’d see the same thing.”

Again Lana lifted up the covers and looked at her feet. Laura reassured her.

”Look at it this way. There’ll never be any doubt as to who your true love is.”

Lana thought back to the first episode when she had met Clark and he gave her a SNICKERS bar. At that moment she had unconsciously slipped off her shoes.

”Oh my God!”

Laura now knew that Lana had accepted what Laura told her. She wrapped her arms around Lana and hugged her.

”The downside is that you will spend the rest of your life shoeless and your only relief will be frequent passionate lovemaking.”

Laura stopped and thought about what she had just said.

”Maybe that’s not really a downside.”

Laura continued,

”The upside is that unlike most women, you won’t spend a fortune buying shoes. This will please your husband tremendously and he will want to make love to you even more often.”

Lana leaned into her mother. Laura hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. Laura rose from the bed and walked towards the door.

”Try to get some sleep, Lana. You’ve got a big week ahead of you and a lot to think about.”

Before Laura was out the door Lana asked,

”Mom, if the Lang women have their feet curl when they’re with the man they love, is there anything that happens to the Lang men when they’re with the woman they love?”

Laura didn’t turn to face her daughter. Laura didn’t want Lana to see that she was blushing.

”Let’s just say that while the Lang women have their feet curl, the Lang men have a certain part of their anatomy not curl. It remains very….very….straight. And it can only be relieved by frequent, passionate lovemaking.”

Laura exited Lana’s room before her daughter could ask her any more embarrassing questions. Lana brought her hand up to her mouth and gasped over what her mother had just revealed.

”Mom! You I really didn’t need to know that!”

**********

Clark Kent carefully tied and retied his black bowtie until it was perfect around his neck. Normally Clark was the type of person who hardly spent any time on grooming. He never fussed over his appearance. Of course, it helped that he had obedient hair. It would have been difficult for him to transform from superhero to mild manner reporter if his hair didn’t immediately fall into place on his head.

He looked into the mirror and was satisfied with his appearance. ”I still can’t believe it. I love her and she loves me. After tonight there’ll be only one more week and we can be together….forever.” Another voice shouted in the back of his mind.

”Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“What?”

“You have to tell her that you’re Superman.”

“Oh yeah. Well, I’ll do that.”

“Well, it’s not exactly like you’ll be telling her that you’re a Republican. This is a big deal!”

Clark nodded his head to his own inner voice.

Lana would know his secret. She would know tonight.

He put own the jacket of his tuxedo and examined himself. Satisfied, he left his room. In the upper hallway of the mansion he met Wayne and Somerset. Bruce, spoke,

”Well Clark, after tonight you’ll be saying goodbye to one of us.”

Clark, still humble, remained silent. Somerset placed his arm around Clark.

”It’s alright, old boy. Bruce and I knew from the very first episode that there was something special between you and Lana. Only a foolish, blind, and stubborn village idiot would dare to compete against it. We’re very happy for you.”

The three men shook hands and patted each other on the back. Bruce spoke.

”Well, let’s go downstairs and meet the Bachelorette.”

**********

The Director began the countdown.

”Five…four…three….two….one….NOW.”

One of the technicians flipped a switch and Chris Harrison’s prerecorded voice was heard through their headphones.

”Previously on The Bachelorette…”

Harrison continued with an abbreviated history of the Bachelorette beginning with Lana Lang being rejected by Jason Teague in the Bachelor. Then he recapped everything that been previously televised.

”So tonight Lana Lang will choose the famous actor…”

A close-up of Russell Somerset was shown.

”….the famous billionaire…”

A close-up of Bruce Wayne was shown.

”….or the small town farm boy who went to the big city. “

A close-up of Clark was shown.

”Tonight two men will survive for another week. One man will leave with a broken heart.”

The image of a limousine driving away from the Mansion was shown.

”Tonight! Here on….The Bachelorette!”

In the Studio one of the technicians flipped another switch and the standard opening of the program was played along with the logos and names of the sponsors.

”The Bachelorette brought to you by AT&T, Best Buy and Warner Brothers – who will bring you Warrior Angel in 2010.”

**********

In Warwick, New York a wife pulled the remote control out her husband’s hand. He shouted out.

”Hey! What are you doing? I was going to watch 24.”

“Not tonight. I’m watching The Bachelorette.”

*********

In Albuquerque, New Mexico a teenage couple was watching television. As Chuck came to and end, the girl changed the channel. Her boyfriend protested.

”Hey! I thought we were going to watch Heroes tonight.”

“Not tonight. I’ve got to see who Lana picks.”

Her boyfriend started to sulk. The girl snuggled up to him and whispered in his ear.

”Don’t worry. I’ll make it worth your while. Especially if she picks Clark.”

**********

In San Diego, California a stay-at-home mother was serving dinner to her family when she saw the time on clock. She dropped everything and ran to the television. Her husband and children protested.

”Mom!”

“Feed yourselves. I’m watching The Bachelorette.”

**********

In Times Square in Manhattan, automobile horns started blowing as the endless crowd ceased moving. Everything came to a stop as The Bachelorette was broadcast on the large high definition screens overlooking Broadway.

**********

The Director and technicians eased up as the pre-recorded segment was being broadcast. Everything had been edited and formed into the final viewing package. There was very little for the technical crew to do other than sit back and enjoy the show. The pre-meeting anxiety of Laura Lang was shown (absent the remarks of Lewis Lang). The images of Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset were intermixed. If the Lang family had any objections to either man it was not shown to the audience. Clark Kent was given equal time. He was shown meeting Lana’s parents and giving them a gift. It was shown that there were some additional relatives at the Lang house but not the crowd that was actually there. Clark was shown eating an enormous amount of food. Finally, his farewell was shown with Langs waving goodbye at the departing limousine.

The next images that were shown were of the Bachelorette Mansion in Los Angeles. Film of the three bachelors arriving after their trips and Lana arriving separately at the Mansion were shown. Harrison’s voice was heard.

”Tonight, three will become two on….The Bachelorette.”

The Director commanded,

”Cut to a commercial.”

Everyone in the studio knew that the moment of relaxation was now coming to an end. In four minutes the episode would turn to a live broadcast for the final five minutes of the episode. The last commercial was finishing.

”He was a stranger from another planet.

Now he is Earth’s greatest hero.

But not before he make the choice that only a hero can make.

His love.

Or his destiny.

Warrior Angel.

Coming in May 2010.”

The Director began the countdown.

”We’re going live in five…four…three…two…one….LIVE!”

**********

Lana was in a side room with Chris Harrison. Three framed photographs of the remaining bachelors were before her. She looked at each one. She felt great affection for Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset. Pain was the last thing in the world she wanted to cause these men. Yet somehow she knew that tonight that the two men would not feel heartache or pain. They would feel real joy for her. ”I hope Clark has them in his wedding party.” She felt Chris Harrison’s hand on her shoulder. She turned to him.

’It’s time, Lana.”

She nodded her head. He opened the door for her and Lana walked into the Great Room of the Bachelorette Mansion. The three men stood in a line: Bruce Wayne, Russell Somerset and Clark Kent. They were three extraordinarily handsome men. She looked at Clark. Her toes began to curl in her shoes. ”Oh God! Not now!” She took a deep breath. Besides her was a small a table. On top of the table were two long stem, red roses. Three men. Two roses.

”Knowing the three of you has been the most rewarding experience of my life.”

This time she meant what she was saying.

”Tonight I have to say goodbye to one of you. But I sincerely hope we can remain friends.”

She picked up one of the roses.

”Stop!”

From behind the cameras Jason Teague walked forward into the Great Room like Ivanhoe coming to Rebecca’s defense.

The three men turned and looked at each other but said nothing. Lana felt herself trembling. ”Jason? What’s going on? This can’t be good.” Jason spoke up and the cameras focused on him.

”Lana, before you make your choice you have to know the truth.”

He pointed at one of the bachelors.

”The truth about Clark Kent.”

Lana looked at Jason. Then she looked at Clark. Clark looked as dumbfounded as she felt. She looked back at Jason. She wanted to say something but her mouth had gone dry. He continued.

”Clark Kent is not a former reporter with the Daily Planet. He is still a reporter with the Daily Planet and always has been. The only reason he’s here is to do an inside story on The Bachelorette.”

He looked directly at Lana.

”Up close and personal.”

Clark stepped forward.

”Lana, that’s not true. I quit my job at the Daily Planet!”

Jason walked up to Clark and faced him eye to eye.

”Did you? Did you really quit? We’ll see about that. Lois Lane!”

Lois was standing on the sidelines with Chloe. She was the calmest of people when the broadcast began. Now, when her name was called, her heart jumped into her throat. One of the assistants pushed her to step into the view of the camera. Teague began to act like a prosecuting attorney.

”Lois Lane, you’re Clark Kent’s partner at the Daily Planet?”

“I was his partner.”

“Oh really? So you’re not his partner anymore?”

Lois shook her head. Jason appeared as if he expected the answer and continued.

”Than why are you here in Los Angeles?”

“I came here to see my cousin, Chloe?”

“Oh really? Perry White, your editor didn’t send you?”

Lois didn’t answer. ”How would he know about that?” Lois tried to think quickly but the unexpected turn of events has caught everyone off guard. If she said no, she would be lying. It was under Perry’s orders that she contacted Chloe. If she said yes, it would look like she still was Clark’s partner and the carnage would continue. Her hesitancy in answering only made everything appear worse. Jason immediately recognized her dilemma and he was prepared for it. He called out.

”Maybe you don’t remember. In that case maybe you boss remembers. Perry White, please step forward.”

Perry was almost asleep when Blake Whittaker shook him on the shoulder.

”Perry, we need your help.”

Perry stepped forward. Lois and Clark gasped when they saw him. Lana couldn’t help but notice the surprise in their faces.

**********

In the Studio, the Director and the technicians were glued to what was happening.

”Holy smoking tomatoes! I never expected this.”

**********

Perry stepped into the middle of the room and was immediately blinded by the bright lights. He held his hands in front of his eyes.

”Whatcha all want?”

Jason stepped forward and faced Perry. Perry’s eyes adjusted. ”Jason Teague? What’s he doing here?”

”Perry White, did you send Lois Lane to Los Angeles?”

Perry answered as if it were a known fact and shrugged his shoulder as he answered.

”Well…yeah.”

Lois swallowed hard. ”Oh God, Perry! Please don’t screw this up for Clark.” Teague continued.

“Why?”

“Because Clark needed help.”

The crowd gasped. Clark’s heart was pounding in his chest. ”This can’t be happening!” His pleading eyes turned to Lana. ”Please, Lana. It’s not what you think.” Teague continued.

”Why would Clark need help?”

“He needed help with the story.”

“Story? What story?”

“I sent Clark here to write a story about the program. But he found something bigger and decided to go undercover.”

Clark shouted out.

”No! That’s not true! There is no story! I quit the Planet! I’m not doing anything undercover!”

Perry smirked at Clark’s answer.

”Ah come on, Clark. I’ve been in this business for thirty years. I know when a person is quitting and when a person is not quitting. We’ve been through this plausible deniability stuff. You’re not fooling anyone.”

Jason felt as if he had hit the jackpot. Everyone but Perry White realized what was happening and Perry White had become the key witness with a tongue loosened by Kentucky sipping whiskey. Jason realized that if he were in court Perry would be cross-examined by a hostile witness and made to look like a fool. But this wasn’t a courtroom. It was television and in a few minutes reputations could be changed, lives could be ruined and the opinions and viewpoints of tens of millions of people could be chiseled in stone.

Jason placed his arm around Perry White as if he were an old friend. He was now using the good cop/bad cop approach.

”Are you saying that Clark Kent is not here because he’s in love with Lana Lang?”

Perry hiccupped. He wanted this to be over. All he wanted was to get in bed under some nice clean sheets and sleep for the next eight hours.

”Look. Clark Kent is a professional. And I know that the story always comes first with Clark Kent. Besides….”

Jason raised his eyebrows. Perry continued.

”….Clark has a bit of a reputation. He knows his way around the ladies. The SNICKERS bar. That was brilliant. When Elvis sang, ‘I’m in love. I’m all shook up.’ I don’t think he had Clark in mind.”

Lana looked at Clark. He looked back at her. She couldn’t read him. In a few minutes everything had changed. She moved forward until she was looking him in the eyes. It seemed like this a terrible nightmare. She wanted to touch him more than anything but she didn’t move.

”Clark, when we were at your mother’s house, when I told you that I loved you…”

Again the crowd gasped. With all of the editing of the previous episodes, this was the first time that Lana’s feelings were made known to the viewing public.

”….when I told you that I loved you. You told me that you had something very important to tell me. What was it?”

Clark was breathing heavily. His head was spinning. ”How am I supposed to answer that?” He remained silent.

”Was this it? Were you going to tell me that you were working on a story? Is that what you were going to tell me?”

Clark shook his head. If he said yes he would be lying. If he said no he would have to tell the truth. Lana reached out to him and touched his hand.

”Then what was it? Clark, what were you going to tell me?”

Lois was squeezing her fingers so tightly that her fingers were going numb. Chloe held her breath. Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears.

Clark looked at Lana. Then he looked downward and remained silent.

Lana pulled away her hand.

”That’s it, isn’t it. That’s what you were going to tell me. That everything was for a story. Everything was a lie!”

“No Lana! That’s not it!”

”Then what is it?”

Clark was shaking. One part of him was screaming to tell Lana…and the world…his secret. Another part was screaming for him to remain silent.

The latter part won the argument. Just like it always did.

A few seconds seemed like an hour. Clark’s eyes didn’t move and Lana knew she didn’t want to hear the answer. It had now all come to a head. The previous buildup and rejection on The Bachelor, the constant scrutiny on The Bachelorette, the tapping of emotions deep within her that she never knew existed, Jason Teague’s accusations and now the tremendous letdown that Clark was holding back something. ”What else could it be except the truth? Clark has used me for a story.” She never knew she could feel such pain without being physically hurt. She felt a pulling sensation in her chest. A part of her wanted to fold over and cry. Another part commanded her to stand up straight. The latter part won. She reached back and…

…slapped Clark across his face.

”I hate you!”

Jason could barely keep his smile concealed. ”You lose, Kent.” A small smile came to Whittaker’s face. ”Bigger ratings than the Superbowl!” Lana walked back to the center of the room to the table where the roses were laid. She looked at her feet. She had unconsciously slipped off her shoes. She picked one of the shoes, turned around and threw it at Clark. She screamed with anger.

”Ahhh!!!!”

Clark made no move to stop the flying shoe.

It hit him in the face and then fell to the floor.

The two technicians in the studio looked at each other.

”That son of a b*tch!”

“Which one? Teague or Kent?”

The Director issued his last command of the night.

”Five…four…three…two…one…Fade to black.”

End of Chapter Twenty Five

**********

[ClanaGirl]

OldManKent how could you let that son of a B**** actually ruin htis evening for Clark and Lana i mean you better have them make up i mean it! but it was good until Jasonj a

[oldmankent]

Chapter Twenty Six

”Public Enemy #1”

The broadcast had ended but the cameras were still rolling. Lana wrapped her arms around her waist and her lips were quivering as if she were freezing. Her hand was aching as if she had hit a brick wall and she clenched her hand into a fist and bit her lip so that she wouldn’t show the pain. Clark moved forward and placed his hands on her. She shook him off and moved away.

”Don’t touch me you son of a b*tch!”

Clark had never known such desperation. An hour ago it was the brightest of days. Now it had become the darkest of nights. He was ready to beg.

”Lana, please…”

Lana raised her hand and stopped him.

”No! No more! No more lies!”

She turned to confront Clark. Her heart was pounding and then her toes began to curl in Clark’s presence as if they had a mind of their own. ”Stop it! God damn it!” She wanted to take a sledgehammer and smash her own feet. She composed herself and looked him straight in the eye.

”I don’t ever want to see you again.”

Clark had never felt so helpless in his life. He had distant memories of when he emerged from his spaceship as a child. He could remember feeling frightened at first but Jor-El’s voice in the crystals had reassured him that he would be found and cared for. And it happened just the way Jor-El had said. Now he felt totally alone and abandoned.

Clark looked at Teague and the anger rose in him like a volcano ready to explode. He moved towards Teague with a speed that was not faster than a speeding bullet but much faster than a normal human being. More like that of a world class athlete. Like a hungry tiger pouncing on its prey. He grabbed the stunned Teague by the lapels of his suit jacket and was about to lift him into the air when he felt a hand on his arm. Bruce Wayne stood next to Clark.

”Clark, don’t. Don’t make it worse than it already is.”

Teague couldn’t disguise the fear in his eyes. Lois couldn’t disguise the fear that she felt as she watched. She had never before see Clark angry. Chris Harrison’s spoke to one of the attendants.

”Would you please escort Mister Kent to the limousine.”

Clark released Teague. Clark thought that if this were a movie he would have a fantastic line of dialogue to hurl at Teague. But Clark didn’t have any words. There was nothing he could say. There were two attendants standing next to him. A voice in the back of his mind shouted at him. ”Do it, Clark! Do it now! Show them who you really are!” He took a deep breath and the voice faded away.

Clark looked at Lana but she would not look back at him. He let out a sigh and walked out of the Mansion with the attendants. As he walked he noticed the faces of the production crew. It was a mixture of disappointment, anger and hatred. Before he got into the vehicle Dimitrio stopped him.

”How could you do this to Lana?”

Clark didn’t even attempt to make an answer. It was useless to construct an explanation. Not satisfied with Clark’s non-response, Dimitrio spit in his face.

God damn you, Kent! God damn you to hell!”

Clark took his handkerchief from his front pocket and wiped his face. He got into the limousine. The door closed and the vehicle pulled away from the mansion. It was then Clark noticed the camera inside his vehicle. The red light was on. Every movement, every sound was being recorded. ”God! Doesn’t it ever stop?”

He knew the production was waiting for his reaction. ”What am I supposed to say? Lana, you’re wrong. I was going to tell you that I’m Superman. I love you and I want to be with you but I wear a red cape and boots.” He said nothing as he looked outside the window. ”How could everything that was so good turn into something that is so bad?”

He looked out the window and noticed that night had fallen.

**********

In San Diego, California the husband and his children were just finishing their dinner when he heard his wife scream. The husband and his children ran into the family room and found the mother sitting on the sofa and sobbing. He sat down next to her and placed his arm around her.

”What is it, honey?”

She shook him off and yelled.

”Don’t touch me you scum!”

She ran out of the room and up the stairs to the bedroom. He could hear the door slam behind her. The three children watched and the youngest asked,

”Daddy, what’s wrong with mommy?”

**********

In Albuquerque, New Mexico, the boyfriend thought it was time to cuddle and make out with his girlfriend now that her show had ended. He wrapped his arm around her. She pulled away and slapped him across the face. He jumped to his feet.

”What was that for?”

”What was that for? Oh!”

She ran from the room and into the kitchen. He heard her pulling something out of one of the cabinets. Then she ran back into room. She was holding a box of SNICKERS bars. She threw the bars at the boy.

”Take your SNICKERS and get the hell out of my house!”

“Why are you doing this? What’d I do?”

“What did you do? Oh! Men are such…are such… Men are such….men!”

**********

In Warwick, New York the wife turned off the television and handed the remote control to her husband. She left him sitting alone as she went up to bed. She spoke from the stairs.

”Don’t bother coming up to bed. I’m not sleeping with you anymore.”

Her husband was dumbfounded.

”What’d I do this time?”

“You let me have the remote and you let me watch the Bachelorette instead of watching 24.”

He heard the bedroom door slam shut and the lock turn. ”If I don’t give her what she wants, I’m screwed. If I do give her what she wants, I’m screwed. Whoever said it was a ‘man’s world’ should have had his head examined.”

**********

Oliver Queen and Luke Oswald had just finished watching the episode. Both men were flabbergasted by the turn of events. Oliver was the first to speak.

”I think we’ve been wrong about Clark Kent all along.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we always thought that Clark Kent was a big time ladies man. Clark Kent just didn’t get his heart broken. He just had his heart shattered.”

**********

Now that Clark had exited the building Jason Teague regained his composure. He straightened out his lapels and necktie and moved confidently towards Lana. She was still seething with anger. Jason’s first thought was to place his hands on Lana’s shoulders to reassure her but seeing her in her present state caused him to act otherwise.

”Lana, I want you to know that I’m here for you.”

Lana did know whether she should scream or laugh. She turned towards Jason and spoke in a sarcastic tone.

”You’re here for me?”

Jason, totally misreading Lana, smiled and nodded his head. Lana continued.

”What makes you think I want you?”

The cameras were still rolling and the exchange caused the set to become ghostly quiet. Whittaker borrowed a headset and whispered to the Director.

”Are you getting all of this?”

The Director responded that everything was being captured.

Jason wasn’t sure as to how to answer. In his mind Lana should be grateful to him. He was silent for a moment before he spoke.

”I’m the one who’s saved you, Lana.”

Lana lashed out.

“Saved me? Saved me? You haven’t saved me, Jason. All you saved was your own ego. You just had to beat Clark Kent. You had to win no matter what the cost. You bought your victory with my heart!”

Jason was stunned by Lana’s response. He stood silent and motionless. Lana easily recognized his confusion.

”You don’t even know what I’m talking about, do you?”

Jason didn’t answer and Lana continued.

”That’s because you’ve never loved someone.”

She picked up one of the roses from the table.

”You think your little stunt has earned you one of these?”

She held the rose out in front of him.

”It hasn’t. You didn’t do this for me, Jason. You did it because even with all of your wealth you can’t stand the idea of someone having something or someone that you can never have. I’ll never be yours, Jason. Never!”

Lana picked up the other rose and marched over to Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset. She handed each man a rose. She said nothing but gave each man a smile although her heart wasn’t in it. She turned around to walk back upstairs to her bedroom. She stopped at Jason.

”Whatever Clark has done, you will never be the man that Clark Kent is. Never! Jason, you can go to hell. I’m sure there’s a special spot waiting for you.”

As Lana walked out of the room everyone was left in awe of the young woman.

**********

Lana had gone to her bedroom. The cameras stopped rolling. Lois moved to Perry White. He greeted her as if nothing had happened.

”Hi Lois!”

Lois observed that Perry’s eyes were glazed over. There was a distinct odor from his breath that his Tic Tacs could not cover up.

”Perry, have you been drinking?”

Perry put his thumb and his index finger together.

”Ohhhhh…All I had was a teeny tiny bit of Kentucky sipping whiskey. Nuttin I can’t handle.”

Perry then sought out a chair which he fell into and then closed his eyes and fell asleep. Lois brought her hand up her head as if she had a splitting headache. ”God, Perry! What have you done? If only you listened to Clark in the beginning.”

”Ms. Lane?”

Lois turned to the voice and found Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset standing next to her.

”I’m Bruce Wayne and this is Russell Somerset. Russell and I have come to know Clark very well and we know he would never do anything to deliberately hurt Lana Lang. He loves her too much. Clark needs our help.”

Then she heard Chloe’s voice.

”I want to help too.”

Lois answered her cousin.

”Helping us might end your career in the television industry.”

“I don’t care. What The Bachelorette did to Clark and Lana was wrong. It’s one thing to provide entertainment, It’s another thing to provide entertainment at the expense of a broken heart.”

The production crew packed away their equipment and left for the night. Bruce Wayne, Russell Somerset, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, and Chloe Sullivan were left in the middle of Great Room of the Mansion trying to figure out what had happened. They each turns trying to figure out the puzzle of the last five minutes of the next to the last episode of The Bachelorette. Lois spoke.

”I think the whole thing started when Lana and Clark went to Le Giraffe. That’s where I recognized Missy Mason from The Bachelor. She was headed straight for them when she had an accident and everything went awry.”

Wayne spoke,

”Well, what the hell was she doing there? It couldn’t be a coincidence that she just happened to be in the same place as our fabulous couple.”

Chloe added,

”There’s something else. Right after that episode was filmed we were given orders to heavily edit the coming episodes to make it appear that Lana was undecided about Clark.”

Russell spoke Bruce.

”Bruce, remember when we had the vote as to who would have the single date with Lana?”

“You mean the vote that you fixed?”

Chloe and Lois looked at each other and then looked at the two men.

”You fixed the vote?”

Russell became sheepish.

”Well not exactly fixed. I just provided Terranova with a positive incentive for seeing things Clark’s way.”

Lois and Chloe looked at each other and just shook their heads. Russell continued.

”Remember Teague’s reaction?”

“No.”

“That’s because you’re not an actor. When you act in front of a camera you’re aware of every facial movement. Just the slightest twitch or blink of an eye can have an enormous effect when projected on the screen of a theater.”

“Okay. What did Teague do?”

“Nothing.”

“What are you trying to tell us, Russell?”

“Don’t you see? When Clark won we were happy for him. Thomas and McCall were ticked off. Either way, our faces and their faces displayed an emotion. Teague showed nothing. He was fighting to control himself.”

“Well, we figured that he would try to fix the vote too.”

Lois asked,

”Well what did you guys do that Teague didn’t do?”

Russell answered.

”I think it was just that Terranova prefers brunets.”

Chloe spoke up.

”Well, what’s wrong with blondes?”

Jimmy answered.

”I like blondes.”

Chloe poked him in the ribs with her elbow.

”Well you’re prejudiced.”

“You’re damn right I am.”

Lois was putting it all together.

”Wait a minute. It’s beginning to make sense. Teague tries to fix the vote and fails. Then Missy tries to ruin the date and fails. Then Whittaker issues orders to heavily edit the following episodes and not show the truth. Then when we’re live, Teague magically appears. Teague is using Mason and Whittaker is using Teague.

I don’t think the public would like knowing that the highest rated program in television history has been a gigantic setup.

I’m going to talk to Missy Mason.”

Bruce stopped her.

”Let me take care of that.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I can be….persuasive when I have to be.”

Russell added.

”If we had evidence of a meeting between Teague and Whittaker during the time he was staying at the Mansion we might be able to prove collusion.”

Chloe spoke up.

”Whittaker’s office is at ABC Studios. It’s not the White House but there is a security team on premises.”

Russell answered,

”My dear, I did learn a little something when I made Mission Impossible 4.”

Jimmy enthusiastically added,

”Oh that was such a good movie! Chloe there was one part where he was swinging on a rope from a helicopter and…”

Lois punched Jimmy in the arm.

”Jimmy! Not now! We’ve got to find Clark and put him on ice until we can figure this out.”

**********

Missy Mason had orgasmed. Several times.

It didn’t help. Nothing helped.

She couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t slept for days. After the sex was completed her lover had turned over and fell asleep. But sleep wouldn’t come for Missy. She looked at his bare back and realized she couldn’t even remember his name. She rose from the bed and walked to the mirror and examined herself.

The CD that started with their lovemaking was still playing.

Author’s Note: Musical paying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vocknKBvjNo

She listened to the words.

To you
My heart cries out ‘Perfidia’
For I find you, the love of my life
In somebody else’s arms.

Your eyes are echoing ‘Perfidia’
Forgetful of our promise of love
You’re sharing another’s charms.

With a sad lament my dreams have faded like a broken melody
While the gods of love look down and laugh
At what romantic fools we mortals be.

And now
I find my love was not for you
And so I’ll take it back with a sigh
Perfidia’s won
Goodbye.

She stared at her own eyes and saw an empty shell. Always desired. Never cherished. Always made love to. Never loved.

It had been a few days since she watched the episode of The Bachelorette and she could not push it out of her mind. ”This is all my fault.” She could not forget the expression on Lana’s face. So different from the expression of the woman she saw at Le Giraffe. ”If only someone would love me like that.”

She left the bedroom and as she walked she examined everything in her house. She had everything she ever wanted. The furniture. The artwork. The money.

Everything except what Lana had.

That special someone who looks at you and sees his entire world. His reason for living.

With all of the men she ever had Missy Mason had never even come close to having that.

And she had helped Jason Teague steal it from Lana.

She realized that in a way she and Jason were alike. If he couldn’t have it than no one could have it. But unlike Jason deep in the recesses of Missy’s mind was a conscious. Missy knew that what she did to Lana was different. She saw that in Lana’s eyes as the camera did a close-up. Clark Kent didn’t break Lana Lang’s heart. Missy Mason did. And now Missy couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Lana Lang’s tear laden eyes.

In the dark the house was without life. Likes its owner.

She moved through the lower level until she stopped at the desk in her office. She sat in the chair and opened the drawer. She pulled out the revolver and examined it. She opened the cylinder. It was fully loaded. She closed it. She pulled back the hammer and heard the bullet lock in the chamber. She turned the nose of the barrel around so that it faced her and placed it in her mouth.

She heard a movement behind her.

She turned and saw the large shadow in the dim moonlight coming through the window. Before she could do anything the shadow moved over her and swiped the revolver out of her hands.

Its voice was harsh and gravelly.

”You’re not going to get away that easily.”

Missy swallowed hard and fear overtook her as the shadow became visible.

”Oh my God! Batman! What do you want?”

“You did something very wrong, Missy. You have to make it right.”

**********

Wendell Hillary the 3rd was struggling. The weather near the summit of the highest mountain in the world was unpredictable. Just a few hours earlier the sky was clear. Now the winds were gusting at speeds that made movement almost impossible. Hillary and his party of six were showered by ice with the force of a hurricane. Hillary and his party had trained for a year in Colorado to acclimate themselves to the higher altitudes. The expedition up Everest was planned with the finest state of the art equipment that money could buy. But nothing could prepare them for the sudden changes in the weather. One moment it could be perfectly clear. The next moment could be a nightmare. And then just as suddenly, it could all change back to clear.

Hillary was a few feet from the summit. With a supreme effort he might make it to the top.

But how would he make it make back down the mountain in weather like this?

Would he and his party end up like countless others? Never to return home. Never to be laid to rest. To remain on the mountain with the thin, cold air preserving their bodies – forever. A testament to the unforgiving wrath of Everest. Hillary spat into the wind. ”If I’m going to die I’ll die at the top.”

He moved his legs forward a few inches at a time. His lungs were straining, trying to suck in what little air there was at 29,000 feet. He stumbled and fell. His mind commanded his body to rise up but his body would not obey and the reality of his situation struck him. ”I’m not going to make it.” The ice and cold was overtaking him. His eyes were closing. ”To sleep. Perchance to dream.”

Something was tugging at his wrist.

Hillary opened his eyes. His arm was being pulled.

He was being pulled up.

He was on his feet.

Then his feet were off the ground and he was floating in the air. ”Am I dead? Is this some sort of out of body experience?”

”Let me help you.”

The sound of the voice cut through the wind like a trumpet blast. The voice was strong and assured.

Hillary looked down at his feet. He was standing on the summit.

”I think this is right where you want to be.”

Hillary turned around to the sound of the voice.

”Superman! Thank God!”

Superman stood defiant to the elements. His cape rose like a majestic flag in the wind.

“I’ll help your people up here to the summit. They’ve come so far. They should have the chance to see the view at the top of the world. Then I’ll bring everyone back to your base camp. I don’t think you have the strength to make it down by yourself.”

Superman brought the remainder of the party to the summit holding a person in each arm like a bag of groceries. The storm eased up and they had a clear view of the Himalayas below them. Everyone was in awe of the view. They were more in awe of the fact that they were alive. Hillary turned to Superman.

”Superman, what are you doing up here?”

**********

Lois was in her hotel room coordinating the information she had received and beginning to write her story on The Bachelorette. The television was playing and as she was typing she was listening to a news report at the same time.

News Anchor: ”And news of a spectacular rescue from Mount Everest. Wendell Hillary and his party were close to reaching the summit of Mount Everest when the weather suddenly changed for the worse and the party was in danger of perishing. Hillary thought he was about to die when he was saved by….Superman.”

The mention of Superman caught Lois’ attention. She turned from her laptop to the television. The report had changed from the anchor in the news room to an on-site reporter who was interviewing the rescued mountain climber.

Hillary: ”I thought I had cashed in my chips when I was pulled to the top of the mountain by none other than Superman. Was I ever glad to see him! Then he brought us back down to our base camp.”

Interviewer: ”Did Superman tell you what he was doing so far from Metropolis?”

Hillary: ”I asked him that. He told me that he had some thinking to do and he needed to get away from everything and everyone. Lucky for me Everest is about the farthest from everything and everyone that you can get.”

Interviewer: ”Did Superman say where he was going next?”

Hillary: ”No. He didn’t. But he looked like he had a lot on his mind. I told him that since we’re so close to Tibet maybe he should go pay the Dalai Lama a visit. He seemed to think that was a good idea.”

The report ended. Lois went back to her typing. ”Hmmm? Superman and the Dalai Lama?” The news anchor continued with more news.

News Anchor: ”As this just in from Wall Street. The Dow Jones Average is continuing its steep downward trend with today’s report from the M&M Mars Candy Company. Even during tough economic times people do seem to find comfort in chocolate. Not so this time. Hershey is reporting a sharp decrease in the sale of its candy bars across the board but especially the SNICKERS brand. Overnight, sales have dramatically decreased as retailers are refusing to place the brand on their shelves. It is rumored that upper management is considering a layoff of employees.”

Disgruntled Worker: ”It’s that damn Clark Kent effect. After what he did to Lana Lang nobody wants to have anything to do with SNICKERS bars anymore. I might lose my job and I’ve got six kids to feed.”

Lois had heard enough. There was a knock on the door and Jimmy entered the room.

”Hey Jimmy. What’s up?”

“I saw Perry off for his flight back to Metropolis.”

“Is he still apologizing?”

“Oh yeah. He’s angry at Whittaker, embarrassed for himself and concerned for Clark all at the same time.”

“What about Somerset?”

“He’s back at the Bachelorette Mansion. He found out that Whittaker, Jason Teague and Jason Teague’s mother did have a meeting in Whittaker’s office right after the episode with the dinner at Le Giraffe was broadcast.”

“How did he find out?”

“He wouldn’t tell me. He said it was a trade secret.”

“Did you find Clark?”

“Nope. I checked all my sources in Metropolis, your sources in Metropolis, Clark’s sources in Metropolis, I even spoke with Clark’s mom. He’s gone. It sounds impossible considering his picture is plastered on every tabloid and being shown on every television station. It’s like he’s dropped off the face of the Earth.”

Lois shook her head. ”Damn it, Clark! Where are you?”

Jimmy moved towards the television and switched the channel. He turned on The View.

Whoopie Goldberg: ”We tried to invite Clark Kent to come on The View but he’ s disappeared.”

Barbara Walters: ”He better disappear after what he’s done to Lana Lang. Imagine, wooing America’s Sweetheart just for a story and then breaking her heart. Right now he may be the most hated man in America. Lisabeth, what kind of man would do something like that?”

Lisabeth Hasselbeck: ”Well to me it’s pretty obvious that only a Democrat would do such a thing.”

The women of The View started arguing and Jimmy changed the channel. The governor of California was being interviewed on another station.

”Clark Kent is a girlie man! He is a Predator. I say to Clark Kent, Hasta La Vista, Baby!”

Jimmy turned off the television. There was a knock on the door. Jimmy opened it. Lois watched Jimmy back away from the door with a stunned look on his face.

”Jimmy, who is it?”

Through the door walked a modestly dressed and very serious Missy Mason. She looked at Lois and remembered her from the dance floor of Le Giraffe.

”Lois Lane?”

Lois nodded. Missy continued.

”I have a story to tell you.”

**********

After the live broadcast Lana had left the set and gone up to her bedroom. She closed the door to the room and leaned against it. The grief was overwhelming. She dropped to her knees and held her middle as if she had been punched in the stomach. ”Clark, why? Why couldn’t you be truthful with me?” She didn’t know how much time had passed but she eventually rose to her feet and walked to her bed. Her Jane Austen book had been left on her bed. She sat down and opened the book. She looked at the pressed rose from the bouquet that Clark had given her.

Author’s Note: Musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2lEfsEjT4A&feature=related

She examined the rose in her hand and then threw it across the room where it hit the wall and broke apart. She lay on the bed and fought off the tears. The emotional exhaustion of the last hour overtook Lana and she fell into a dreamless sleep.

She woke up to the sun shining through the window and someone knocking on the door. She answered from the bed.

”Go away!”

“Lana! It’s your mom.”

”Mom?” Lana got up from the bed and opened the door. Laura and Lewis were standing in front of her.

”Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?”

Lana stepped back and let her parents in the room closing the door behind them. Lewis answered.

”We took the red eye to Los Angeles as soon as we saw what happened.”

Lana, now fully awake, was slowly coming to terms of what had occurred the previous evening. A part of her said that it was only a bad dream. But then the full realization that Clark was no longer in her life hit her. She began to cry and Laura took Lana in her arms.

”Oh honey. Shhh…”

Lewis wanted to do or something but knew that he would just be awkward in trying to comfort his daughter in a way that only a mother can. Instead he thought, ”I wonder if meeting Laura’s family caused this whole thing. I better not tell Laura that. She’d kill me. Anyway, I wish I had that $200 back.”

Laura moved Lana to a small sofa in the room and sat down with her. She placed her arm around Lana and tried to comfort her.

”Mom, what am I going to do? I loved him so much.”

“I know you did, honey. But no matter how bad you feel you have to see this thing through.”

“I know that. I don’t want to. But I’ll finish the show. I’ll keep my word.”

Lewis placed his hand on Lana’s shoulder.

”You’re a strong woman, Lana. Your mother and I are proud of you.”

Lana placed her hand on top of her father’s, looked up and smiled at him. Then Lewis said,

”If you ever see Clark again can you try and get my money back?”

Laura stood up and punched her husband in the chest.

”Lewis!”

*********

The next week was filled with media speculation. During the last week of The Bachelorette, before Lana’s final pick, it was planned that Lana and the two finalists would spend time in each other’s day to day lives. Discovering how each routinely lived outside of the Mansion. But Lana refused to leave her room. Her parents communicated for her. They told the production team that Lana would make herself available for the final pick of the final episode but that was it. Even if she was contractually obligated to make herself available during the final week she would not do so. Blake Whittaker, after consulting his legal team, decided not to do anything. Lana Lang’s approval ratings had shot through the roof. It would look terrible for ABC to bring legal proceedings against the most popular person in America. Whittaker saw an opportunity in Lana’s silence. A mystery would only add to the ratings. Daily press conferences were held outside of the Mansion with Whittaker commenting on Lana Lang’s state of mind. The production team was told to put together an episode that consisted of what happened after the last episode ended and clips from the previous episodes. The last ten minutes of the final episode would be broadcast live and that was all that mattered. Whittaker doubled the advertising fees for the program’s sponsors and they gladly paid. It was speculated that more people would watch the final episode of The Bachelorette than the number of viewers who watched The Super Bowl, the NCAA Basketball Title Game, the Olympics, the final episode of MASH, the final episode of The Fugitive, Neil Armstrong’s first steps on the moon, President Richard Nixon’s resignation and the verdict in the O.J. Simpson trial.

Lana’s parents stayed with her and brought her meals to her. But no one saw Lana Lang during the final week.

From the Today Show to the Tonight Show all of the talk was of Lana Lang and her choice. Would it be Bruce Wayne or Russell Somerset? No less was the talk of Clark Kent. Oprah Winfrey had Dr. Phil give a profile of the personality characteristics of the type of man who would lead on and then break the heart of America’s sweetheart. Bill O’Reilly in his Patriot and Pinhead segment labeled Lana Lang as a Patriot and Clark Kent as a Pinhead. Conservative radio talk show hosts likened Clark Kent to Al Franken. Liberal radio talk show hosts likened Clark Kent to Rush Limbaugh.

Martha Kent felt that her neighbors were noticeably cooler to her. They greeted her on the streets on Smallville but did not stop to talk with her. She could hear the whispers behind her back. In Smallville High School, the team picture of the 1999 State Football Champions had the face of its team captain scratched out.

Lana Lang had her face on Time Magazine, Newsweek Magazine, and People Magazine.

On television, over the Internet, on the street, in the classroom, over the telephone, in the gossip columns, and at the office water cooler there were two questions that America was asking:

Where was Clark Kent?

What would Lana Lang do?

**********

The landlord saw Clark Kent leave his apartment Monday morning at the same time he always left for work. ”I’ll be damned. When the hell did Kent get back?” Clark gave the landlord his usual friendly good morning. The landlord grunted through his chomped cigar in return. After Kent left the building the landlord ran to his own apartment and yelled to his wife.

”Hazel! The sumb*tch is back!”

“Who?”

“Kent!”

Without a moment’s hesitation the landlord’s wife got on the telephone and started calling everyone she had a telephone number for.

Clark left the building and walked down the street.

Author’s Note: Musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_StNduHQLh4

He had given the landlord his usual friendly good morning but it was false. Clark felt anything but friendly. He left the building and began walking his usual route to the Daily Planet. The morning was sunny and the temperature was comfortable. Not that it mattered to Clark. The temperature would never bother him. But the sun always juiced him up and brightened his disposition. But not today. He felt no brightness. He only felt the need to get what he had to do over with. The good weather had a drawback. There would be more people out on the street. People who would see him and he knew it wasn’t going to pleasant. He could have speeded to the Planet and made his entrance. But he forced himself to take the human approach. Almost as a penance for what he felt was his stupidity in not being open sooner with Lana. In the most important decision in his life he had played it safe when he should have risked everything.

Traffic on the street was slowing. Drivers were looking in his direction and pointing at him. At an intersection a delivery truck was stopped with a burly driver and his equally burly companion staring at Clark. He could see their lips moving and Clark fought off the temptation to activate his hearing and listen to the driver’s bravado of what they’d do to Clark if they had him alone.

A commuter bus passed him and on the side of the bus was an advertisement for The Bachelorette with Lana’s profile and the words, ‘What will Lana Lang do? See Monday at 9pm Channel 7.’

Clark could hear the whispers. He could hear the school boys daring each other. ‘I dare you to hit him. I dare you to kick him in the ass. I dare you to spit in his face.’ Their footsteps would follow him for half a block and then stop and turnaround.

He entered the Daily Planet. Max, the security guard saw him. Usually they exchanged a few world’s about the previous day’s game. Any game. Baseball, football, basketball. But there was nothing today. Only a cold hard stare and a wave of a hand when Clark displayed his ID card. Clark waited for the elevator with a group of other people. He could feel the eyes on him. The doors opened and Clark walked in. No one followed and for an extremely awkward moment he stood facing the crowd that refused to share the elevator with him until the doors closed. The elevator rose and stopped at Clark’s floor. The doors opened and he exited. It felt could to hear the chatter and the fingers banging on the keyboards. ”I’m going to miss this.” Then everything stopped and the silence was deafening. Everyone was looking at Clark. ”Maybe not.” Clark walked forward towards Perry White’s office.

”Clark!”

Lois Lane ran to Clark and wrapped her arms around him. Clark let his hand come up and carefully patted Lois on her back.

”Clark, where have you been?”

Instead of going to Perry’s office Lois directed them towards Clark’s desk.

”I needed to get away.”

“You didn’t answer your home phone.”

“I wasn’t home.”

“You didn’t answer your cell phone.”

“I turned it off.”

“You didn’t answer your email.”

“I didn’t take my Blackberry.”

“We contacted every news agency in the world and we couldn’t find you.”

“I didn’t what to be found.”

“Clark, where could you possibly go where we couldn’t find you? Tibet?”

Clark didn’t answer. Then they both heard a booming voice with a Southern drawl.

”What’s everyone standing around for? We got a newspaper to put out! Get back to work!”

Perry White approached Clark and Lois. There was sincere contrition in Perry’s face. The shame was practically oozing out of his pores. He placed his hand on Clark’s shoulder.

”Clark, I don’t know what else to say except how sorry I am. I just made a mess of everything. I’m so sorry.”

Clark nodded his head. ”You’re not the one who made the mess.”

”I know you are, Perry.”

Clark reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled a white business envelope. He handed it to Perry. Perry looked at it. It was addressed to him.

”What’s this?”

“That’s my official resignation.”

Both Perry and Lois were silent. Then Lois blurted out.

”But Clark we’re going to blow this thing wide open! We’re…”

Clark stopped her.

”Not me, Lois!”

The raising of his voice startled her. He recognized her shock and changed the tone of his voice.

”Not me.”

He turned his attention back to Perry.

”But before I leave, Perry, you owe me.”

Perry White took a step backwards. He wasn’t used to seeing Clark in such an assertive state. He wondered what demand would be placed on him. A demand Perry White would be honor bound to fulfill. Clark spoke.

”You owe me big time.”

End of Chapter Twenty Six

**********

Next Monday, the conclusion of The Bachelorette.
:)

[ClanaGirl]

thank you oldmankent its good ot see you had fixed that and youtruly are a remarkablewriter email me or tell me when a new stroy you have is on i like this story a lot

[CaptainObvious]

I swear, whether it's watching SV on TV or reading fan fics, I always find myself saying, "poor Clark". He never catches a break, seriously! I'm going to hold tight that Chloe, Lois, Jimmy, Bruce, Russel, with the help of Missy Mason, will help Clark out of this demise!

I wonder what Clark's demand will be to Perry? Teague and Mr. Whitaker need to be talk a major lesson.

[LetMeGo]

Jason may not have gotten what he wanted out of his plan but he did ruin things. True love will win out in the end... right?

[ClanaGirl]

Captain Obviosu htats what i also find myself saying i mean throug hall the seasons practcally we say ah poor clark or man i hope calrk fels better. if they din't fix it chloe,Lois,Jimmy,Bruce,Russel and missy have to solve it will Clark make perry tell Lana a message.

[oldmankent]

Chapter Twenty Seven

”The Truth Will Set You Free”

Clark felt at peace in the Fortress of Solitude. No noise from the city. No raging wind like on the summit of Everest. No psychological experts lending their opinion on the womanizing nature of Clark Kent on the television. No whispered gossip behind his back.

Only the voice of his father.

”My son, what is troubling you?”

”Father, I no longer wish to be Clark Kent. I cannot return to the world of humans. I am Kal-El, the last son of Krypton. Here, in this Fortress of Solitude I will remain.”

”Kal-El, I knew this day would come. I told you long ago that even though you look like a human and have been raised by them you are not one of them. You may protect them. You may lead them by your example. But the world of the humans with their emotions, with their frailties and their petty concerns has never been for you.”

Clark nodded his head in agreement. He had seen enough. He had been too involved in human activities. Tried too hard to lead a normal human life while serving as the planet’s guardian. For years, Jor-El had tried to convince him to assume one identity and one identity only – Kal-El - Superman to the humans.

”Stay here, my son. Make this Fortress your home.”

Clark nodded his head in agreement. He felt the need to shed the skin of Superman. To feel free if only for a moment. He closed his eyes and extended his arms out to his side. His skin began to glow and in a blink of an eye a bright light filled the center the Fortress and Clark had transformed the molecules lining his flesh and identity of Superman, for a moment, was gone.

He stood unclothed in the center of the Fortress. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and felt the refreshing cold air against his skin.

Then he heard a voice that he had never before heard.

”A grown man shouldn’t stand naked in front of his mother!”

Clark opened his eyes. ”What?”

The voice sounded again.

”Jor-El, what have you done to our son?”

Jor-El’s voice filled the Fortress.

”Lara?”

“Yes, Jor-El.”

“What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? You didn’t think I was going to let you send my baby off to some distant world without me?”

Clark was speechless. He started turning his head back and forth from one side of the Fortress to the other as the two disembodied voices grappled with each other.

”Lara, how long have you been here?”

“From the beginning, Jor-El.”

“Why did you never say anything?”

“Well, I didn’t have to until now. Our son wants to leave the world and come home to stay and you’re okay with it? Kal-El, you’re almost thirty years old. It’s time to get out of the house.”

Clark was suddenly aware of his nakedness and he began to blush. His mother’s voice boomed through the Fortress.

”Kal-El, don’t just stand there like the newborn I brought into the world. Get some clothes on. We need to talk.”

**********

Lana Lang had finished dressing for the episode in her room. She wore a gold colored gown. Her silken hair flowed over her shoulders and down her back. Laura stood by her daughter as she examined her in the full length mirror. Then she hugged Lana.

”You look beautiful, Lana.”

Lewis placed his hand on Lana’s shoulder.

”It’s almost time, Lana.”

She turned to her father and he kissed her on the forehead.

”You’re a wonderful woman, Lana. Your mother and I have always been proud of you.”

Laura spoke.

”I’m so sorry that I ever got you involved in this stupid program.”

“Don’t be, mom. If I had never been on this show I never would have met Clark Kent. I never would have known what it’s like to completely and totally love someone.”

Lewis murmured,

“That bastard.”

“No, Dad. He’s not a bastard.”

“Anyone who hurts my daughter better watch out!”

Lana loved her father. He would do anything to protect his daughter. She kissed him on the cheek. Laura spoke.

”Do you still love him, Lana?”

Lana appeared surprised at her mother’s question.

”Of course I still love him. It’s not a light switch that I can turn on and off when I want.”

“Even after what he did to you?”

“Mom, I needed this week away from the cameras and with you and dad so I could get my head on straight again. I was surprised and angry and I reacted without thinking. Which is probably what the creators of this program wanted. They shocked me on The Bachelor when Jason picked Missy instead of me and they shocked me again last week. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I should have seen it coming and I should have given Clark a chance. I didn’t on both counts.”

Lewis spoke.

”And now he’s gone. It seems that no one can find him.”

Lana nodded her head.

”What man wants to be with a woman who doesn’t believe in him?”

Her parents were silent and Lana continued.

”He is the kindest, the most understanding and most forgiving man I ever met. I have to learn to live with the fact that at the most important moment of my life I didn’t have it in me to be kind, understanding and forgiving to the only man I’ve ever loved.”

**********

The Director in the Studio and his technical team were ready to begin the broadcast of the pre-programmed portion of The Bachelorette. There was an array of monitors in front of the team but only three were activated. To the left was a monitor that displayed the ending of a commercial before the program was to begin. In the center was the monitor that would display the edited pre-programmed segment. To the right was a camera shot outside of the Mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The area where Lana would be standing when she made her choice between Russell Somerset and Bruce Wayne. It was empty now and the production crew prepared for the live broadcast of the final ten minutes of the program.

He turned his attention the left side monitor. It was counting down the number of seconds before the commercial would end and all activity would switch to the center monitor.

”Okay everyone. We are making history tonight. We are about to begin broadcasting the program that will be the most viewed in television history. Anyone on the planet with a television will be watching this program tonight. Let’s count down.

Five…Four…Three…Two…One….Now!”

**********

SMEWHERE IN THE MOUNTAINS BETWEEN PAKISTAN AND AFGHANISTAN

”Osama, we are ready for the attack upon the infidels. Our martyrs are ready to bring death to the non-believers.”

“Not now you idiot! I want to see who Lana Lang picks!”

**********

SOMEWHERE IN NORTH KOREA

”Premier, we are ready to test our missile. If successful we will be able to strike at the heart of the capitalist pigs.”

“Somebody shoot this fool. Screw the missile test. I’m watching The Bachelorette!”

**********

WASHINGTON DC

”Mr. President, President Putin is on the hotline.”

“Not now! The Bachelorette is on!”

“But Mr. President, it’s about the crisis in Uzbekistan. President Putin says the call is urgent.”

“Urgent? I’ll tell you what’s urgent. Me watching this program is urgent. Tell Putin that if he doesn’t leave me alone for the next hour I’m going to urgently shove a nuke up his ass!”

**********

Clark had transformed back into Superman.

”Mother, what are you trying to say?”

”I’m saying that your father must be an imbecile when he sees that something is troubling you and he thinks the solution is for you to leave the world and stay here with him.”

“Lara, Kal-El has a destiny that….”

“Will you please stop with that crap! For years I’ve been listening to ‘destiny this’ and ‘destiny that’. Kal-El should be making his own destiny. Not fulfilling your dried up dreams.”

Jor-El voice stopped and Lara continued.

”Who is she, Kal-El?”

Clark was mystified. ”Whether it’s on Krypton or on Earth, I guess mothers are the same everywhere.”

”How did you know?”

”I’m a mother. Mothers know these things. Why else would you want to leave the world and die of boredom in this place? If you were human you probably stay in your room and play video games all day.”

”How do you know about video games?”

”I’m not like your father, Kal-El. I didn’t waste my time here doing nothing and waiting in suspended animation. I monitored things in this place so I could see the kind of world Jor-El chose for my son. I agree with your father that the humans can be a great people. They only need to be shown the way. I also like the Everybody Loves Raymond reruns.”

Clark shook his head not believing what he was hearing.

”Who is she, Kal-El? What’s her name?”

A smile grew on Clark’s face.

”Her name is Lana.”

”Do you love her?”

Clark nodded and answered without hesitating.

”Yes. Yes, I do.”

”Does she love you?”

Clark was silent for a moment. The he thought back to the magical night at Martha’s house.

”Yes. Yes, she does.”

”Then what’s the problem?”

”I hurt her. I don’t deserve her. Besides she said she never wants to see me again.”

”Oh Kal-El, all women feel that way when the man they love does something stupid. If I really meant it all the times I said to your father ‘I never want to see you again’, you never would have been born. If you really love her and she really loves you then don’t let her get away.”

”You really think so?”

”Well moping around here isn’t going to solve your problem.”

Clark nodded his head. He stood erect and launched himself into the air.

For a moment there was silence in the Fortress and then Lara’s voice boomed.

”Jor-El, you and I need to talk.”

For a moment there was silence in the Fortress and then a booming sigh could be heard.

”Yes….dear.”

Author’s Note: Musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOTzeJM9KQY

**********

The first forty five minutes of the program had been aired. The confrontation between Clark and Lana and then Jason and Lana from the previous program was aired. Then the remainder of the time was filled with previously aired segments and ‘expert’ opinion about what Lana Lang would do. Then they went to the live broadcast. The Director counted down.

”Five….four ….three….two….one….We’re live.”

**********

Bruce Wayne and Russell Somerset were scheduled to each meet Lana separately at the area overlooking the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. There was a coin toss to see who would be first to see Lana. Russell won. The two men left their rooms and met each other at the top of the stairway and walked down together. At the bottom of the stairs there were met by Chris Harrison.

”Russell, you will be the first to see Lana.”

“I’m afraid there’s been a change of plans, old boy.”

Harrison didn’t understand. He looked to Chloe for guidance. She simply shrugged her shoulders. Russell continued.

”Bruce and I have rewritten the script. We’ll be seeing Lana together.”

The two men didn’t wait for a response. They walked past Harrison and out to the stone path leading to Lana.

From a distance Lana saw the two men and was surprised when Bruce didn’t stop walking with Russell. They walked in step and both men seemed to be carrying something underneath their arms. Now they were with Lana. Each man took her hands in his and kissed her on the cheek. Bruce was the first to speak.

”We all know it never should have come this far, Lana. Neither Russell nor I belong here.”

Lana wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation but all she could do was smile and nod her head. Russell spoke.

”I have something to show you…and the world.”

Under his arm was a folded newspaper. Russell spoke as he unfolded it.

”This is tomorrow’s edition of the Daily Planet.”

He held it in front of the camera.

The Daily Planet
Tuesday: April 7, 2009

Bachelorette Show A Fraud

ABC Reaches a New Low in Reality Programming

By
Lois Lane

Los Angeles, California. It’s been said that all is fair in love and war but at least in war there are civilizing rules like the Geneva Convention to protect prisoners of war. Not so in love especially on ABC’s monster hit, The Bachelorette. This reporter has learned that ABC Entertainment, led by the unit’s president, Blake Whittaker, has been on a quest to deceive the public and deliberately break the heart of America’s sweetheart, Lana Lang, all in the name of ratings since the concluding episode of The Bachelor last year. Missy Mason, the Bachelor Jason Teague’s pick six months ago, has given her story to this reporter. In it she has stated that Whittaker purposely arranged for Teague to change his pick at the last moment under the misguided belief that the nothing pleases the viewing public more than to see bad things happen to good people. Mason has also stated that Jason Teague employed the use of Mason’s escort service in an attempt to sabotage the growing romance between Clark Kent and Lana Lang. According to an unnamed source, when this attempt failed Teague secretly met with Whittaker to plot the demise of the romance. Breaking Ms. Lang’s heart in the process was considered ‘collateral damage’.

Continued on Page 3.

In his best Shakespearean voice, Russell began reciting the entire article from memory.

**********

The blood drained from Blake Whittaker’s face when Russell showed the newspaper to the camera. He yelled at Chloe.

”Cut him off! Cut the feed! We’ve got technical difficulties!”

Chloe did nothing. Whittaker moved so that he was directly looking down at the shorter Chloe Sullivan.

”I said cut him off, Sullivan!”

Chloe answered calmly.

”No.”

Whittaker’s blood drained face became red with rage.

”Then you’re fired, Sullivan! You’ll never work in this industry again!”

Whittaker then sought out the person with the highest seniority on the set. He ordered the person to cut the feed…..

…..and was ignored.

He grabbed one of the headsets, tearing it off a technician’s head and yelled at the Director who was back at ABC Studios.

”Cut the feed! Cut the feed!”

**********

At ABC Studios the Director heard the order barked into his ear. He switched the sound on so that everyone in the studio could hear Whittaker’s panicked voice loud and clear. He looked at Bud and Lou.

”Well, what do you think, boys? Should we cut the feed?”

Bud and Lou looked at each other and then looked back at the Director. They each gave the thumbs down like a Roman emperor condemning a beaten gladiator. The Director nodded in agreement and spoke into his microphone.

”I’m sorry, Mister Whittaker. You’re breaking up. I can’t hear you. We must be having technical difficulties.”

**********

While Russell was giving his soliloquy Bruce brought out another folded newspaper from underneath his arm and handed it to Lana. It was tomorrow’s editorial section.

An Editorial Opinion
By
Clark Kent

It’s been said many times that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I’m undecided on this. Yes, the memory of the tender moments of loving someone and being loved in return bring a smile to my face and lighten my heart. But the grief of losing that love threatens to overwhelm the joy of the former memory in a dark cloud of despair. Especially since I know that the loss could have been prevented if I had only acted.

Reality programming isn’t reality. Romance and true love cannot be constructed under ideal scenarios in six weeks time. We can construct the fantasy of romance but we cannot construct the reality of love. In such situations when the cameras stop rolling all we can do is hope for the best and nine times out of ten the best isn’t good enough to keep two people together. I was one out of that fortunate one out of ten - and I blew it.

It is true that I was sent to do a story on The Bachelorette. Through an inexplicable set of events I was thrust into the story and became one of the bachelors. Now being part of the story I was assigned to cover, I resigned my position as a reporter for the Daily Planet. I’d be lying if I said I resigned because of professionalism on my part. The truth is that I resigned because from the first moment I saw Lana Lang I fell in love with her and I wanted to win her heart. I did not want to hurt her in the process by having her think that I was there for something more than just wanting; no, not wanting, needing to be with her. Unfortunately, my resignation was misconstrued. I could go through the events that led to the confrontation on last week’s episode. A confrontation that half the world witnessed. But it would serve no purpose. It is what it is. The reality is that when love knocked on my door I should have recognized it and done everything in my power to secure it. I didn’t act and now I’ve lost it. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotion, spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never tasted victory or defeat.” Lana Lang deserves such a man and not the cold and timid soul of Clark Kent.

If there is a lesson to be learned here it is the lesson that love is too precious a commodity to wait for the perfect time to announce it or the perfect place to act on it. If you love someone then tell them – now. For tomorrow is guaranteed to no one and love can be swept away like the breeze that sweeps over the ocean when the day ends. And if the someone that you love loves you in return then let nothing stand in your way of being together. For the two of you together will always be greater than just the sum of the parts. Poets have written about it. Songs have been sung about it. Stories have been told and movies have been made about it but nothing captures the feeling like actually being in love and experiencing it. For those of you who have not yet found the person meant for you, you will not understand what I’m saying. For those of you who have found that special someone, no further explanation is necessary.

Lana Lang is only woman I have ever loved. Lana Lang will always be the only woman I will ever love. For a brief moment she loved me in return and for the first time in my life I knew happiness, until my own stupidity overran my luck like the Huns overrunning Rome and beginning the Dark Ages. Like the mark of Cain when he murdered his brother, Abel, it is a burden I will carry…

Forever.

Lana struggled to hold back her tears. She leaned into Bruce Wayne and he wrapped his arm around her to steady her. He gave Lana a handkerchief to dry her face. She looked at Bruce.

”Bruce, what am I going to do?”

He didn’t have an answer and then someone in the background shouted out,

”Look! Up in the sky!”

**********

Superman landed on the set with Bruce, Russell and Lana. The entire crew was overwhelmed with his presence. The program was scheduled to end in 30 seconds. But the Chairman of ABC made a direct call to the Studio to continue the coverage. Superman stood majestically with his cape blowing in the Pacific wind. Lana gasped at the sight of him.

”Superman, what are you doing here?”

“Ms. Lang, Clark Kent is a very good friend of mine. He asked me to come see you and ask you if the possibility existed that you would give him a second chance.”

Lana’s heart leaped her chest.

”Oh Superman. Yes! More than anything in the world!”

She smiled at Bruce. Her eyes gleamed in anticipation. Superman spoke.

”Then I’d like you to come with me. I’ll bring you to Clark.”

Harrison interrupted.

”Hold on a minute. That’s not part of the contract. Lana is obligated to meet Kent here.”

Bruce looked at his watch and responded.

”Technically speaking, that’s not accurate. I had my lawyers go over the contract. This show and this contract ended thirty seconds ago.”

Lana moved to Superman. She was like a little girl who was being taken to Disney World for the first time.

”Please take me to him. What do I have to do?”

Superman wrapped his cape around her to keep her warm and then picked her up in his arms. Before he lifted off into the air he winked at Bruce. Russell caught the wink and elbowed Bruce in the side.

”Do you know him?”

Bruce hesitated and stammered for a moment.

”Only by reputation.”

**********

Clark slowly lifted off the ground, increasing his altitude and his speed at a rate that wouldn’t be uncomfortable to Lana. At first he moved backwards so that she could see the Mansion getting smaller and smaller until it was no longer visible. Then he turned and moved over the ocean with the sunset to his left.

”Where are we going?”

“North.”

It seemed to Lana that they were moving at a tremendous speed but it had no effect on her. Being so close to Superman and wrapped in his cape shielded her as if she were in a capsule. Below them the ocean whisked by and they were soon over Alaska. She looked at Superman and he looked back at her and smiled. She felt totally comfortable in the air.

Except for her feet.

She started twitching her feet inside her shoes. ”Oh God! What a time for this to happen!” She started rubbing her feet together to try to bring some relief to her curling toes. One of her shoes loosened and fell away. Then the other shoe fell. She looked at her feet and watched her toes curl. Her eyes opened wide in surprise and her mother’s words came back to her. ”Your feet know what’s in your heart before you do.” She looked at Superman’s face and then looked away. She remembered meeting Clark on Bruce’s plane when he told her,

”I had a dream that you see me but you don’t recognize me. You walk past me and then you’re gone.”

She looked back at Superman’s face again. Then she turned from him and closed her eyes. The portrait she had given to Martha Kent took shape in her mind’s eye. ”Oh my God!”

’Clark! It’s you!”

Clark stopped in mid air. He wasn’t sure if her sudden declaration was good or bad. Lana sat in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck. The she moved over his face and kissed him hard on the mouth. She broke the kiss and then in a frenzied state planted small kisses all over his face.

”Oh Clark!...I ….thought….I….had…lost….you. Oh Clark….can you forgive me?”

Clark was breathless.

”Lana….can you forgive me? For not telling you sooner?”

Again she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly. She pulled away.

”Oh Clark! Am I hurting you?”

Clark chuckled.

”No Lana. You can’t hurt me. You can squeeze me as tightly as you want.”

She squeezed him with all of her strength.

”Oh Clark! There’s nothing to forgive. I understand. I really understand.”

They flew over the Earth at a slow speed and for both of them the landscape below appeared in a bright beautiful light.

Author’s Note: Musical interlude. I have always thought that the perfect music for Clark flying with Lana would be the score from the motion picture, Out of Africa. This is composed by the man whom I consider to be the greatest writer of music for motion pictures – John Barry. Take a moment, close your eyes, listen to the music and imagine Clark and Lana flying together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHjwq3e7lHw

**********

Lois watched The Bachelorette by herself. Her buzzer rang. A familiar voice came through the intercom

”It’s Jimmy.”

She buzzed open the door to the building and waited for the knock on the door to her apartment. She opened it.

Oliver Queen stood before her. He was holding the next day’s edition of the Daily Planet.

”Jimmy gave it to me. He also came with me. I didn’t think you’d open the door if you heard my voice.”

“Do you want to come in, Oliver?”

“Yes, Lois. I’d like to come in.”

He walked in the apartment. They remained on their feet looking at each other. Each waiting for the other to begin speaking. Oliver started.

”I read Clark’s editorial and I realize how wrong I was about him.”

“What do you mean?”

“All this time I’ve been watching The Bachelorette and thinking he knows all of these secrets to find and attract women. He doesn’t. All he knows is to say what’s in his heart.”

Lois waited. Oliver struggled to continue.

”Lois, I was wrong in what I did. I was wrong in the way I treated you. I took you for granted. I had to lose you to discover that I couldn’t live without you. I….love….you. No games. No songs. No flowers. No candy. Just what’s in my heart.”

They waited for a moment and then fell in each other’s arms. Lois hugged Oliver with a strength she never knew she possessed.

”Oh Oliver, I missed you.”

**********

Lana had never seen anything like it. She stood with Clark on top of one of the crystal pillars in the Fortress of Solitude.

”Has anyone else ever seen this?”

“No. You’re the first. You’re the only person I’ve ever brought here.”

She leaned into him. They wrapped their arms behind each other’s back as they watched the sun setting in the distance. Even with the ensuing darkness there was a glow in the crystals to light their way. Lana turned to Clark.

”This is the part where there’s one rose left and I’m supposed to offer it to you.”

“Would you like me to get a rose for you? It will only take a second or two.”

Lana shook her head.

”No. A second without you is a second too long.”

Clark nodded his head.

”Then I have something for you.”

He reached into his belt and pulled out a lump of coal about half the size of his fist. Lana was amused but didn’t understand. Her first thought was of Charlie Brown receiving lumps of coal in his bag on Halloween. Clark closed his hand around the coal and made a fist. Bright streaks of light came through his fingers and Lana could feel the heat being generated in his hand. She could hear the coal cracking in his hand. The heat and light dissipated and the cracking sound stopped. Clark opened his hand to reveal a small pile of black dust. ”Okay. You can turn coal into coal dust.” Then he blew on his hands until the black dust cleared and revealed a perfect diamond.

”Oh my God!”

Again he reached inside his belt and pulled out a small lump of solid gold. Flashes of heat streamed from his eyes until the gold melted and formed a pool in his palm. He began to shape it with the finger of his free hand and blow on it at the same time until he had formed a perfect circle. The he held the diamond on top of the gold band and with a flash of heat from his eyes the two objects became one. Lana’s heart was in her throat. Not from what she had just seen but from what she anticipated to be next. ”It’s really happening.” Clark dropped to one knee. With his hand he swept his cape behind him like a knight kneeling before his queen. He held the ring towards Lana.

”Lana Lang…I love you.
My heart is and always shall be…yours.

Will you marry me?”

Even though Lana always knew what her answer would be the emotion of the moment overwhelmed her. Tears of joy ran from her eyes. She nodded her head and sighed,

”Yes.”

She extended her hand and Clark placed the ring on her finger. She held her hand and stared at it while he rose to her feet. She sighed again.

”Oh yes.”

They moved to each other. Clark wrapped his arms around her back and Lana brought her hands up to his head so that she could comb her fingers through his hair. There were no words to be spoken. They closed their eyes and kissed as they had never kissed before.

Author’s Note: Musical interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhCq7y7_L9Y

**********

Epilogue

18 Months Later

The crowd filed into the Metropolis Civic Center. Set up in the vast auditorium were hundreds of tables with white linen tablecloths. Waiters and waitresses brought steak and lobster dinners to each of the tables and poured tall glasses of champagne. Seated were the richest and most powerful people in Metropolis, in the State of Kansas and in the United States. The women were dressed in the finest evening gowns and the men dressed in hand tailored tuxedos. On a stage before the array of people was a long, single table with several couples seated facing the audience. In the middle of the table was lectern. One of the men rose from his seat, moved to the lectern and began to speak.

”Good evening everyone. My name is P Daddy Sugar and I will be your Master of Ceremonies for the evening. I’d like to welcome you to the first annual dinner of the A.J. MacMurphy Foundation.”

A large applause rose from the crowd. Sugar had slimmed down from his appearance on The Bachelorette. He was tan and fit.

”As you know the A.J. MacMurphy Foundation was established by Metropolis’ Super Bowl winning quarterback and Superbowl MVP, A.J. MacMurphy as a means to help the impoverished youth of Metropolis and to set them on the road to success through team sports and education. Tonight we are celebrating the program’s success and honoring its founder, my good friend, A.J. MacMurphy.”

Another round of applause and cheers from the audience.

”Before we begin with the entertainment for the evening I’d like to introduce the people you see before you. Beginning to my right, I’d like to introduce Chloe Sullivan from ABC Entertainment and her fiancé, James Olsen from the Daily Planet.

Next to them is Vincent Terranova, founder and CEO of the Terranova Pizza chain and his lovely wife, Veronica.

And next to Vincent are that star from stage and screen, Russell Somerset and his wife, Mary. Thank you Mary and Russell for flying in tonight from Wales.

On the far right is Perry White, editor of the Daily Planet.”

A few boos were heard from the crowd. Sugar continued.

”Ah come on, folks. There’s no need for that. Part of what we’re celebrating here tonight is the ability to change yourself and the course of your life. Certainly Perry has done that with his generous donations and the publicity he provides for the Foundation.”

The boos turned to slight cheers and then to applause. Sugar turn to Perry.

”I guess you’re going stag tonight, huh Perry?”

Some laughter from the audience.

”Next to Perry is that intrepid reporter from the Daily Planet, Lois Lane and her fiancé, the CEO of Queen Industries, Oliver Queen.”

Huge applause from the audience.

”And next to Lois and Oliver are Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises and his good friend, Rachel Dawes, the District Attorney from Gotham City.”

He looked at Bruce.

”Is she still just a good friend, Bruce?”

Bruce held up Rachel’s left hand. Her diamond ring sparkled in the light of the auditorium. Another round of applause. Sugar continued.

”I guess that answers that question.

Next to Bruce and his fiancé….”

He stretched out the word, fiancé,

…are my good friends and good friends of AJ – Clark Kent, the still intrepid partner of Lois Lane and his lovely wife and CEO of the Lang Fashion Group, Lana Lang Kent.”

There was a huge roar from the crowd. The crowd stood on their feet and gave the couple a standing ovation. Clark dropped his head in shyness and Lana placed her hand over his and squeezed it. After a minute the applause died down and Sugar continued.

”And finally, the man of the hour – Allan Jerome MacMurphy and his lovely wife, Mary Ellen.”

MacMurphy rose from his seat. The audience rose in a standing ovation. MacMurphy’s wife, the former Missy Mason, now using the name on her birth certificate, rose with him. She kissed him and whispered ‘I love you’ in his ear. He moved to the lectern. The crowd applauded for several minutes. Then he raised his hands, the applause died down and everyone took their seats.

”Thank you. Thank you for that. But there are people who are more deserving than me for such recognition. I won’t point them out but they know who they are.”

He looked at Clark and Lana. Then he continued.

”It was just over eighteen months ago that I met a group of people who would change my life forever. People who were examples of the type of person I wanted to be like. People who were examples of the type of person I was in danger of becoming if I didn’t change my ways. In the later group was a man named Jason Teague.”

Cat calls and boos rose from the crowd.

”As you know, Jason is from a wealthy family from Metropolis. He was born with every advantage. Good looks, Fame. Money. He did nothing with it except try to accumulate more. I was in danger of becoming a Teague type of person. If it wasn’t for Lois Lane’s initial investigation into Blake Whittaker’s collusion with Teague, the FBI and the IRS would have never investigated Jason Teague and discovered his investment scheme that bilked hundreds of pension funds out of billions of dollars in a Ponzi Scheme similar to Bernie Madoff’s. Because of what Lois Lane started there are thousands of retirees who still have their pensions safe with them tonight.”

A round of applause from the audience.

”Jason couldn’t be with us tonight. He’s not eligible for parole until 2032.”

Laughter from the audience.

”I was in danger of becoming that person. Forever selfish and self centered. Just looking to make a fast buck and get a quick lay. The number one cause in my life being me.

And then I met my good friend Clark Kent and he taught me that it didn’t have to be that way. He taught me that it is never too late to change for the better. Tonight this dinner is just as much a testament to Clark and his wife, Lana, as it is to me.”

AJ picked up his champagne glass, lifted it in the air and turned to Clark and Lana.

”Please join me in a toast..

To Clark and Lana.”

The crowd rose, cheered and toasted the couple. Clark and Lana remained seated. Clark bowed his head. Lana held his hand as small tears formed in her eyes.

Suddenly Lana bolted back in her chair. The cheering stopped as the crowd grew concerned. Lana whispered in Clark’s ear.

”Clark, we have to go.”

“Go? Why?”

“It’s time.”

“Time? What time?”

Time to go, Clark!”

Clark looked at her not understanding the urgency in her voice. Then his eyes opened wide.

”Time! Oh that time! How far apart?”

“About three minutes now but I've been feeling contractions all afternoon, Clark.”

“All afternoon! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Worry!”

The couple rose from the table and Clark helped his massively pregnant wife down the steps from the stage and into the audience.

”Sorry folks but we’ve got to get to the hospital!”

Each one of the couples followed Clark and Lana to see them off. A few people noticed and commented that Mrs. Kent wasn’t wearing shoes. Perry was last in line. Lois stopped him.

”Perry, why don’t you stay here and keep the audience entertained.”

“Me? Entertain the audience? How?”

“Come on, Perry. I’m sure you can come up with something.”

A huge smile rose on Perry’s face. He jumped back on stage and grabbed the microphone.

”Hey folks! Elvis has entered the building!”

Author’s Note: Perry White entertaining the audience.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Knbh7TkX6A

The End

**********

[CaptainObvious]

Well done Oldmankent! A great finish to a great story. I really enjoyed reading this fic and appreciate the time you took to write it. I hope you have something new brewing to post soon.


Alls well that ends well!

[LetMeGo]

What a wonderful story! It was great from start to finish!

[ClanaGirl]

this was just amazing bravo oldmankent i loved ot form the begginning to end you better contact us when you writem more amazing stories. and Mary Alllen for missy mason nice dude !

[happycamper]

An absolutely wonderful story, as always.

I just started reading at the site again and - naturally - gravitated to your story.

Think of all the misery and angst that was missed by being just a little grown up . . .

Thanks!

[The Black Cat]

I loved this story!!! Thanks for sharing